MIGHTY MOVIES

Russia's 'Lord of the Rings' is the story from Mordor's point of view

The Lord of the Rings saga is a gripping tale of teamwork, magic, and the triumph of good over evil against all odds... if you're degenerate, decadent capitalist swine. The problem with the Lord of the Rings, in Russia's view, is that history is written by the victors, Mordor might have been misunderstood, and it could have prospered if it weren't for the external meddling of men, elves, and dwarves.


"Look, Sauron had a lot of good ideas."

In 1999, Russian author Kirill Eskov penned, The Last Ringbearer, a version of the Lord of the Rings written from the view of Sauron's forces. This alternative view of the saga features a lot of common historical ideas from the real Earth's 20th Century applied to the fictional universe created by Tolkien, a departure from the Hobbit propaganda the Deep State (aka dwarves) would have you believe.

Eskov writes his novel under the premise that history is written by the victors, and a novel written by the vanquished would present an entirely different view of Tolkien's creation. The Last Ringbearer is meant to counter Hobbit Propaganda that wants you to think that Gandalf and elves are anything but thieves and war criminals.

The Last Ringbearer actually accuses Gandalf of "crafting the Final Solution to the Mordorian problem."

While readers of the Lord of the Rings were led to believe Mordor is an evil place, desolate and dedicated to the destruction of the world of men, The Last Ringbearer wants you to know the glorious world of Mordor was filled with engineers and artisans on the brink of a new industrial revolution, whose beauty was cut down in its prime by the imperialist pigs led by the Elves allied with the Elvish puppet Aragorn.

After the forces of Middle Earth slaughter orc civilians during an invasion of the land of Mordor, two orcs fleeing the elvish onslaught rescue a Gondorian noble who was sentenced to die for opposing the massacres of civilians. Together, they work to free the land of men from Elvish magic.

As if I needed any more proof Cate Blanchett is the root of all evil.

The book has never been officially translated into English, although amateur translations are available on the internet. The reason for this being the Tolkien estate is very protective of his work and will sue Eskov all the way to Vladivostok if given the opportunity. All kidding aside, it would be an interesting exercise for us all to consider our favorite stories and even real-world events from the point of view of the losers – maybe we would come to understand why some people are the way they are and accept them a little more.

Except Saruman. No one likes a turncoat.