Most of a service member's time is filled with "Hurry up and wait," the long-standing tradition of making everyone come in six hours before any training event, travel or other military activities.
But there are ways to fill the hours between the time troops have to show up and the time the training activities start. Here are eight humble suggestions:
1. Throwing rocks
This game just naturally starts to happen if too many people are sitting in a motor pool or anywhere else with rocks. Make sure to find a hat to throw the rocks into or a small piece of metal or something to throw the rocks at.
When someone makes a tricky shot, everyone has to half-heartedly cheer and then look around for something else to throw rocks at.
2. "Would you rather ... ?"
Everyone knows this game. One person asks another — or multiple people — which of two horrible experiences they would rather go through.
"Would you rather have to scrub every latrine in the battalion with your only toothbrush or low crawl through the [local strip club name] on payday Friday?"
This game is known for getting dirtier the longer it is played.
3. "Screw, marry, kill"
Like "Would you rather?" this game consists of one person offering another a series of options. In this case, the quizzer offers three names, usually female, and the quizzed has to pick one to sleep with, one to marry, and one to kill.
Obviously, this game is super inappropriate, which is part of what makes it so funny. Pros make sure to include options like "your sister" or "your childhood pet."
This game is also known for getting dirtier the longer it goes on.
4. B-tch session
Sometimes you just need to get all the hate out in the open, preferably when the platoon sergeant and leader aren't around so you can complain about them.
The best thing is, being stuck in "Hurry up and wait" mode is the perfect gripe to get started with.
5. Dangerous games (like throwing knives at each other's feet)
Do you want a safety briefing? Then don't get caught playing these games.
They can be lots of fun and are popular in the field, especially on the gun line. The most common involves two people squaring off with their feet shoulder width apart and throwing a knife in the dirt.
We're not printing the instructions here because we don't want to be liable for any lost toes. But check with any gun bunnies. They know how to play it.
6. Ridiculous physical training
Having younger troops do embarrassing exercises like the little man in the woods, the duckwalk, or the dying cockroach is always funny, just make sure you don't actually cross the line into hazing. Extra points if you make the new guys race while doing an exercise.
Two-person teams in a leap frog race make for a particularly enjoyable session.
7. Quick naps
This is exactly what it sounds like. You don't actually need an explainer on how to nap, right?
8. Cell phone
Your cell phone can reach the entire Internet. Just make sure to bring an extra battery pack in case the "wait" part of your "Hurry up and wait" is longer than one charge.