Blues, Pinks and Greens, NWUs, Cammies, ABUs, ODUs, ACUs — whatever you wear, or whatever you call it, it’s the standard in your branch. These are names of the most common daily wear (and dress uniforms) of military branches. Though the uniforms themselves vary among the ranks and jobs, the jokes usually do not. After all, there are ample rules and variations, and it’s tough to keep it all straight. Besides, what fun is it if you don’t poke fun at the next branch’s duds? Don’t worry though, it’s all in good fun.
Take a look at these military uniform inspired memes and the people who proudly represent them every day of the year.
It’s that time of year again: Memorial Day weekend. A solemn moment for the troops to reflect on those we’ve lost along the way and for our civilian friends and family to join us in honoring our fallen.
Now, I don’t fault the civilians who just take the weekend to relax and barbecue as the summer officially starts. You’d be hard-pressed to find a single fallen troop who’d wish to take away someone’s enjoyment. Sparking up the grill and enjoying friends and family is a big part of the American way of life that we fought for — and some paid the ultimate price for.
My gripe is with the complete oxymoron that is the phrase, “have a happy Memorial Day.” It’s just extremely awkward in context. Like, even if someone was a open-bar-at-my-wake kinda person, ‘happy’ and ‘memorial’ just don’t really mesh.
So, I leave you with this… Have a good Memorial Day weekend, however you choose to spend it. Place flags at your local veterans’ cemetery. Crack open an extra cold one for a fallen comrade. Start up the barbecue and tell the kids about the good times you had with your buddy who didn’t make it back. If we’re being honest with ourselves, they all would have wanted us to have a good day in their honor.
Yeah, that wasn’t your typical opener where I practice my stand-up, but I have a feeling I’m not the only one irked by the expression.
Also, here’s a SPOILER ALERT. We joke about the final episode of Game of Thrones in the final meme.
Oh snap! The first official recruiting ad for the Space Force has finally dropped! Don’t get me wrong. I’m just as hyped as everyone else who joked to their retention NCO that the only way they’d stay in was to reclass as a space shuttle door gunner.
But, like, why do they even need an advertisement at this point? Everyone knows who they are and are already planning on camping out at the recruitment offices when they open. It’s like seeing a commercial for a Ferrari. It’s just a waste of time and money when we’re already sold on the idea.
Whatever. They’re probably going to have a bigger budget than the Air Force – so spend it if you got it, right? Anyway, here are some memes.
1. I don’t care about any of your damn stories from Basic. But you can be damn sure that I’ll play along with whatever BS lie about how badass you are to tell civilians.
2. While we’re in, we all sh*ttalk chief for being OFP. But, he’s literally treating the military like it’s a 9-5 job at that point.
3. North Korean generals got nothing on some of the E-4’s I’ve seen these days…
4. Anyone know if the vehicles in the motorpool are still fine? No one’s been around to kick their tires in ages!
5. All else fails, pocket sand…
6. One makes things go boom. The other prevents things from going boom. See the problem?
7. Largest amphibious landing in military history and it wasn’t conducted by the branch of the military specifically designed for such a task…
(Yeah, I know. They were in the Pacific and Marine generals assisted in the planning. I thought Marines were at least supposed to understand jokes.)
8. “Ah, I see you’re a man of culture as well.”
9. For the Space Force? In a heartbeat. Then again, I’ve been out for a few years, put on a few pounds, have literally no applicable skills needed in space… But I’d do it.
10. Well. Now I’m going to rewatch Band of Brothers this quarantine… for the 101st time…
11. As long as you don’t have flat feet. (Is flat feet still a thing?)
12. f it looks right, it is right.
13. If you didn’t jump up out of your bunk, but forgot that you’re on the lower one, so you smack your head so damn hard it echoes through the bay, did you even go to basic/boot camp?
They’re not our moms or our dads, but they are just as tired of our tomfoolery. Commanders put up with our clowning while taking the brunt of responsibility from Leadership for the squadron and let’s remember: all sh*t rolls downhill. Thanks to the Commander, probably a little less rolled down to us. This holiday season, let’s show our Commanders our appreciation for driving them to the brink of insanity on a weekly, if not hourly, basis.
Ear Plugs: for when they have to sit through yet another meeting about the length of your sideburns. You could also swipe some of these guys from the front desk on your way out to the flightline.
Scotch: single malt is best, though more economical alternatives will also do the trick in case SNACKO funds are running low. Pay your SNACKO bills people. Commander deserves the good stuff.
Spoofer Email Address: to deflect orders from higher ups to requisition volunteers for Wing-wide mandatory fun. Can’t reply to an email you never get.
GPS Tile: to track that one guy in your squadron who can’t make it back in time before curfew. Which was created because of him in the first place after a night in Songan… or Iwakuni…or Sigonella…or Phuket…or Dubai…or Yuma… or….
A Giant A** Umbrella: We all have our commanders to thank for the protection they provide from the ongoing storm of sh*t that rains down from the Good Idea Fairies known as Leadership.
A Giant A** Butterfly Net: Alternatively, to keep the hare-brained shenanigan butterflies from fluttering around the squadron up to Leadership.
Flowers: for their spouses. No doubt the hours they’ve spent worrying about us have taken their attention away from their family. Their real kids probably did not drink a bottle of Fireball and then get handcuffed on the curb for peeing in the bushes near a Saddle Ranch, and yet the Commander has to answer that call at 2am. We’re sorry. And it wasn’t our fault. It was only a security guard anyway, not the real police.
A Laser Pointer – because herding cats is hard and they deserve to have their fun.
Celebrated each year on March 17, St. Patrick’s Day is a cultural and religious holiday in Ireland, and much of North and South America, as well as in Australia and New Zealand. It’s named for Saint Patrick himself, who passed away on the day’s annual holiday. St. Patrick was a patron saint in Ireland. In his honor, a feast day was made by the Catholic Church to celebrate Christianity coming to Ireland.
Today, it’s both a religious and secular celebration, often consisting of green clothing, ample alcohol, and traditional Irish meals, such as corned beef and cabbage. Historically, lent restrictions on drinking and eating were lifted for the high holiday, which eventually led to excessive eating and drinking being common on St. Patrick’s Day.
Take a look at these spot-on memes that describe what it’s like to celebrate in the military. No matter your branch or affiliation, you’re likely to see just how close these memes hit home.
When you wear green every day
No pinching here.
But this awesome prank takes it a step further
And it’s a good excuse to have a drink with Uncle Sam
This common statement that may or may not be true
Cheers round two!
Inspo for your care package
Hope they like green apple flavor.
When the traditions are out of regs
This would never fly in the U.S.
PT the next morning?
When the civilians start getting rowdy
Sit back and observe the rest of the population.
But don’t forget your DD
What’s your favorite way to celebrate St. Patty’s in the military? Drop us a list below — cheers!
So apparently there are talks within the Senate to give each troop who deployed under the Global War on Terrorism $2,500 as part of the AFGHAN Service Act, which would also negotiate the end of the conflict.
On one hand, sure. I’d love the money. Bills suck ass and cash is king. On the other hand, well, let’s look at the lettering of the bill. It’s a one-time payment, and it’d be sent out to every troop who’s deployed anywhere under the Global War on Terrorism. I can only imagine the impending sh*tstorm that’d come when everyone got that check in the mail.
Deploying one time to Kuwait would get you the money, deploying multiple times to Afghanistan still only gets you one check and the older vets who served before 9/11 get nothing. See where I’m going here? The veteran community will turn into the freakin’ Thunderdome. But then again… that is a rent payment…
Anyways, enjoy some memes before the ensuing sh*tstorm!
I’m calling it now. This weekend will be one of the quietest weekends in recent history. Why? It has nothing to do with 2nd MARDIV’s insane level of micromanaging and everything to do with how lower enlisted troops think.
For starters, it’s a non-pay day weekend for the second time in a row. Less shenanigans when everyone is broke as Hell. Secondly, NCOs will know exactly where everyone is located at any given moment. Friday night? They’re all out seeing Avengers Endgame. Saturday afternoon? In the barracks playing the new Mortal Kombat game. Saturday night? Probably seeing Avengers again. Sunday? Too hungover (I said quiet, not uneventful) and Sunday night will be Game of Thrones.
If you’re an NCO trying to find a good reason to cheer up your sergeant major, pointing out the lack of blotter reports on their desk will surely help.
Here’s to a quiet, entertainment filled weekend. Enjoy some memes.
(Meme via Coast Guard Memes)
(Meme via Not CID)
(Meme via Lock Load)
(Meme via Call for Fire)
(Meme via Smokepit Fairytales)
(Meme by Devil Dog Actual)
(Meme via Valhalla Wear)
(Meme via Private News Network)
(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)
(Meme via Air Force Nation Humor)
(Meme via Air Force amn/nco/snco)
(Meme by Ranger Up)
My ass is firmly in the “why leave a perfectly good aircraft” category.
Call me a leg, but at least we use Air Assault these days.
Former Secretary of Defense, retired general, and Patron Saint of Chaos James Mattis has announced that he will be publishing an autobiography called Call Sign Chaos: Learning to Lead. It’s said to cover him coming to terms with leadership learned throughout his military career starting from his days as a young Marine lieutenant to four-star general in charge of CENTCOM.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m freaking pumped. Yes, I’d love to know the nitty-gritty of commanding a quarter million troops, but I want to know about his lesser-known butter bar years leading a weapons platoon. Because let’s be honest, that’s where the seeds of his leadership style really grew.
He probably made mistakes and got chewed out for it. He slipped up and got mocked by the lower enlisted. He would have had to ask for advice and eventually grow into one of the smartest minds Uncle Sam has seen in a long time. Even the Warrior Monk himself may have been that nosy LT who needed to be whipped into shape by the platoon sergeant, and that’s kind of motivating in its own way. Yeah, you may f*ck up once in a while, but not even Chaos Actual was a born leader. He had to learn it.
Just think. There’s an old salty devil dog out there somewhere who’s responsible for knife-handing the boot-tenant out of Mattis. And he’s the real hero of this story.
While we wait for the one book that will actually get Jarheads to read for fun on June 16th, here’s some memes.
(Meme via Army as F*ck)
(Meme via Team Non-Rec)
(Meme via Not CID)
(Meme via SFC Majestic)
(Meme via Broken and Unreadable)
(Meme via Disgruntled Decks)
Fun fact: The Department of Energy renamed natural gas “freedom gas” in a memo. You know what that means, boys…
Generic memes? Pass. Sometimes we need a meme that’s so niche, it’s good. When it comes to the military, every branch has a whole world of memes worth exploring, and these 20 Navy memes are “bow-nd” to leave you laughing.
1.One of the most relatable Navy memes ever.
They’ll either have all of the patience when they return, or none of it. Proceed with bullsh*t cautiously.
2. Isn’t it beautiful?
Too bad you’ll never see it up close.
3. Never cut corners
This probably won’t happen. But what if it does?
4. Reuse, Recycle
He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame…
5. Life in the Navy
All in a day’s work.
Get it? Scan da…Navy in? No? Not even a chuckle? Okay.
7. It’s showtime
When the world needs the Navy, the Navy provides.
8. Be a Shame if…
Not today, Satan. Not today.
9. I mean, he did what she asked, right?
10. Loophole: Found
Except all you’re going to do on your trip is clean.
11. They Said Dive!
Orders are orders.
12. Shots fired
Here, let me help you apply some ice to that third degree burn.
13. Beat the odds
Before you hit 30, because then the odds are going to start beating you with a stick.
14. Remember that one time they got rid of rates?
It lasted about as long as an airman would at sea.
15. The art of anticipation.
Apply this at home. Tell the kids that guests are coming and hand them a vacuum. You’re welcome.
16. When someone says your name
Who? Me? What did I do? Who died?
17. Go get a mop to clean up this mess.
If you can find it, that is.
The Air Force has service. Why don’t we have service? It’s not fair.
19. Definitely not sleeping…not at all…
20. What they think you do vs. what you actually do
President Trump has officially signed the order to begin the process of developing the Space Force. The logical side of all of our brains is telling us that it’s just going to be an upgraded version of what the Navy and Air Force’s respective Space Commands currently do… but deep down, we all want to sign up.
I mean, who wouldn’t immediately sign an indefinite contract to be a space shuttle door gunner? It represents that tiny glimmer of hope in all of us that says we, one day, can live out every epic space fantasy we’ve ever dreamed up.
The sad truth is that the first couple decades (if not centuries) of the Space Force will involve dealing with boring human problems, not fighting intergalactic aliens bent on destroying our solar system. Oh well.
Hey, while you wait for the army of Space Bugs to start invading, kill some time with these memes.
Since the dawn of time and inception of the Armed Forces, trash talking has been an accepted right of passage for military members. As sports entered the equation, naturally the trash talking intensified. As the internet gave birth to memes, this opened so many doors to hilarity. No matter who you are cheering for during the Army/Navy football game, we here at WATM hope you’ll embrace the epic nature of our top 20 trash talking memes.
Everyone knows the Marine Corps is the toughest, most badass branch – after all, there’s a reason they say, “Always a Marine”. Except on Army/Navy game day, then they are suddenly sailors.
Blending in with their surroundings is what the entire Army does best. Hoorah! Oh wait, that’s the Green Berets. Never mind.
3. & 4. Who scooted best?
That’s just how they roll.
5. Air Force
Although there may be seven (we see you Space Force) branches of service, only two are known for their epic rivalry. Three don’t have their own teams, one is the stepchild everyone forgets about and the other does the fun flyovers. It is what it is.
6. Navy Seals
The Navy has been winning on the field for the Army/Navy Game for years. Looks like they just won Halloween too.
7. Ocean Blues
When the Navy recruiter tells you it’s the perfect way to see the world, but all you see is the ocean or the deck you are constantly swabbing. #NavyLife
8. Let Freedom Ring
The Navy may have the Seals, but the Army has the Rangers and Green Berets. Their cool-guy factor is off the charts. Well, I guess the Navy has the badass Marine Corps too – until they drop them off to handle their end of the fight.
9. Spelling Bee-not
When you have the lowest ASVAB score requirement of all the branches of service, you might be a soldier.
10. & 11. Losing Streak
The Navy beat Army 14 years in a row, lost one game in 2016 and then just kept on winning. On the field, at life…. just, winning.
12. War Games
The truth hurts, but it’s gotta be said. Who grew up wanting to play Navy? It just didn’t happen! GI Joe’s never go out of style, sort of like an MRE – something that sailors never have to worry about eating.
13. Go Coast Guard
I mean, you don’t see this badass Navy Seal wearing an Army uniform when he’s in need, do you? #BeatArmy
14. And, ACTION!
When the Navy Seals come, they run.
15. The Uber Driver
When your branch sails the high seas to bring the Marine Corps to fight with the Army. Oooooh, burn. #BeatNavy
16. Holding the Fort
When you started the whole “Armed Forces” thing and support all of the other branches, you get some bragging rights. #GoArmy
17. & 18. Flower Power, Pew Pew
One branch is breaking down doors in the name of freedom. The other is protecting its citizens from the danger of allergies. #GoArmy
When you’ll wear anything before you’ll wear Army swag, like a pink bunny onesie from your grandma. #GoNavy
20. Playing Nice
Listen, we had to end it with this one. Trash-talking is all fun and games but every single man on the field would sacrifice it all for his country. No matter who you are rooting for, just remember that after the game – we’re all on the same team.
It seems like everyone is doing that dumb “ten year’s difference” thing on Facebook. Personally, I think this is just depressing for the military community no matter how you slice it.
Either you’re a young troop who’s now reminded of how goofy they looked as a civilian, you’re a senior enlisted/officer who’s now reminded of how much of a dumb boot they once were, or you’re a veteran who’s being reminded of how in shape you once were ten years ago.
If you’re an older vet who’s been out for longer than ten years, well, you’re probably the same salty person in the photo, and no one could tell the difference or that you aged. Maybe a bit more gray and less hair.
Anyways. The Coast Guard hasn’t been paid, but at least these memes are free!