6 ways to make money while living in the barracks - We Are The Mighty
Humor

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks

If there’s one common complaint among members of the United States Armed Forces (aka the best people in the world), it’s that the pay sucks. When getting paid less than minimum wage grows old (and it does, fast), a servicemember might be inclined to find a way to supplement their income.


So, we asked what a few veterans what they did to fill in the financial gap.

Related: 5 ways to skate in Marine Corps boot camp

6. Taking someone’s barracks duty

When the duty roster hits, there’s always a few people who get screwed out of something. Taking someone’s duty is a great service — one that others just might be willing to pay for. Given how unfavorable of a job it is, the competition is low. You could make a killing by taking someone else’s duty.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
The duty has no friends, though. (Image via Rod Keller YouTube)

5. Doing another servicemember’s taxes

There are plenty of people living in the barracks who feel like doing their taxes take up valuable drinking time — all you need to do is plug in their W-2 information and charge a few bones for your services.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks

4. Fixing other troops’ cars

Given how much some local auto shops charge, it’s usually much cheaper and more convenient to consult with one of the many barracks grease monkeys.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
(Image via Marines.mil)

3. Becoming a tattoo artist

Military service and tattoos go hand-in-hand, like peanut butter and jelly or grunts and rain. If you’ve got the skill, equipment, and you don’t mind the carpal tunnel, this option may be for you.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Hopefully, this isn’t the kind of tattoo you get (or give) at the barracks (Image via Warner Brother’s We’re the Millers)

2. Make some of that “good-good”

This one is a bit out there, but times can get tough and not everyone has the talent for pole dancing, so they might turn to becoming their barracks’ own Walter White or Tony Montana.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
When your normal military pay doesn’t cut it and you need to pay off that Mustang at 30% APR (Image from AMC’s Breaking Bad)

[Editor’s Note: We are absolutely not suggesting you actually open a drug lab. Come on. You’re smarter than that — we hope.]

Also Read: 5 reasons why Luke Skywalker was operator AF

1. Giving others barracks haircuts

This one is definitely the most popular and it’s not very hard to do. Just get a set of clippers, watch a YouTube tutorial, and, even with all the competition, this one is guaranteed to rake in the cash.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
(Image via Marines.mil)

What are some crazy businesses you’ve seen in the military?

Humor

7 reasons why you’d want ‘Pvt. Pyle’ in your infantry squad

Joker, Cowboy, and Animal Mother are just some of the iconic characters in Stanley Kubrick’s “Full Metal Jacket” that audiences hoped would survive as they maneuvered their way through the dangerous battlegrounds of the Vietnam War.


One character no member of the audience gave a sh*t about, though, was Leonard Lawrence a.k.a. Pvt. Pyle because he was slow, overweight, and ended up murdering his D.I. and blowing his brains out while sitting on a toilet.

Let’s pretend that the murder-suicide never took place and Private Pyle actually went out to the fleet.

Related: 7 life lessons we learned from watching ‘Full Metal Jacket’

Check out these reasons why it would be a solid idea to have Pvt. Pyle assigned your infantry squad:

1. He’d be great to have during morning PT…if you’re hungover

Formation runs only go as fast as the slowest man. Since Pvt. Pyle was no marathon runner, the multi-mile runs would be at a pretty slow pace.

Monday morning PT would be a breeze. (Image via Giphy)

2. Everyone would look sh*t hot compared to him

He’s a f*ck up, so having him around would make everyone else look like rock stars.

Look at his silly smile. (Image via Giphy)

3. He’s actually a good shot

Even the drill instructor said so.

Having accurate trigger pullers on the battlefield is a huge advantage.

Foreshadowing. (Image via Giphy)

4. You would always have someone you can trick into standing your duty

Who could we get to stand fire-watch around the barracks on Christmas Day? Answer: Pvt. Pyle.

I wonder what he was thinking. (Image via Giphy)

5. He’d always have good snacks on deployment

If he can sneak a jelly donut into the squad bay, we’re sure he’d be able to get much more than that through customs.

To be fair, jelly donuts are delicious. (Image via Giphy)

6. You wouldn’t be the last one to finish anything

Pyle would be the last if he even finished anything he started.

You would literally never finish last. (Image via Giphy)

Also Read: A Marine explains why people love the film ‘Full Metal Jacket’ so much

7. You’d watch him and learn from his mistakes

His form is way off.

That obstacle isn’t easy for anyone. (Image via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Humor

4 stereotypes platoon ‘Docs’ get stuck with

Corpsmen and medics have to be the jacks-of-all-trades when they’re taking care of business. Under the watchful eye of their senior medical officers, “docs” have to execute their insane responsibilities at an efficient rate.


They’re asked to perform some impressive, life-saving interventions that would make a third-year medical student cringe.

They also get blamed for a variety of things they have no control over if they’re the lower man or woman on the totem pole.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks

It’s funny, considering all the good they’ve done throughout America’s history, that their fellow brothers-in-arms like to f*ck with them every so often by creating and perpetuating stereotypes.

Some of those stereotypes stick and get carried on forever!

Related: Why ‘Devil Doc’ is the unofficial name of elite Navy Corpsmen

So, check out four stereotypes platoon medics get freakin’ stuck with.

4. They joined just to look at other service members’ d*cks.

For the most part, that statement is inaccurate. However, there may have been a few medics, throughout the course history, who probably joined to catch a peek every now and again.

3. Navy Corpsmen are just Marine rejects.

As much as we dislike this one, Corpsman can’t help it if their Marines freakin’ love them and see them as equals. That being said, there are a few “docs” who joined because they couldn’t get into the Corps due to stupid tattoo policies — including yours truly.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Stupid, right? (Image from U.S. Marine Corps)

2. They love issuing out the “silver bullet.”

Nope! We can’t think of a single human being who explicitly enjoys taking another’s temperature via their butthole. Yuck! But they’ll do it if they have to.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Terminal Lance #258 (Source: Terminal Lance)

Also Read: 4 most annoying assumptions female veterans absolutely hate

1. The only medical treatment they know is to tell patients to take Motrin, change their socks, and hydrate.

“Docs” can obviously do a lot more than that, but stateside, their hands are tied when it comes to rendering treatment. In combat, however, the rules and regulations dramatically change.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Yes, the meme makers of the world are so funny, we can’t stop laughing.

Can you think of any others? Let us know below.

Humor

9 military photos that will make you do a double take

As service members, we get the opportunity to travel the world, see some amazing places, and witness some over-the-top events. We love to visually document the areas we visit and the unique people we encounter.


While we’re out seeing the world, some of those photos we snap are so well-timed that we end up creating unique, optical illusions within our compositions.

Related: The 14 funniest memes for the week of Jan. 26

Check out nine military photos that will make you do a double take.

9. A cargo plane looks like it’s about to enjoy a helicopter lunch.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Yum! Yum! (Image from The Indian Express)

8. A fighter pilot mistaking a rooftop for a personal runway?

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Now, we want to see this pilot freakin’ parallel park.

7. This is either the lightest tank to ever hit the battlefield or these are the strongest men in history.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
We hope they used their legs — not their backs — to lift this sucker.

Also Read: 6 times Gunny Hartman was guilty of hazing

6. Some of the tiniest men to ever attempt a swim qualification.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
All were basketball players before joining the service.

5. The three-footed soldier. Nothing makes you more confused than seeing a man squatting down, washing his third foot.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Imagine how long it would take to trim all those toenails. (Image from Weird Optics)

4. We need an ad blocker for this military pop-up.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Oh, wait! Those are real troops marching. We were way off! (Image from Pakistan Defense)

3. A low-flying plane? Or has this sucker already landed? You be the judge.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
This pilot had to have known that there wasn’t a runway here. He’s not going to make it in Top Gun now.

Now Read: 14 images that hilariously portray your first day on a field op

2. Two conjoined, Siamese Blue Angels

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
We bet that separation surgery is going to cost a sh*tton. Just sayin’.

1. One hungry, giant soldier during his feeding time.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
This guy can’t be vegan after this snack.

Humor

11 military dog memes that are flat-out funny AF

Officers, medical staff, and interpreters are a few of the high-value targets that enemy forces focus on first while in a war zone. But the enemy also has their crosshairs on another professional that’s excellent at sniffing out homemade bombs: military working dogs.


Over 1,600 dogs train and serve alongside our brave troops, adept at hunting down the nasty ingredients used to produce those dangerous IEDs. Despite the serious nature of their mission, military working dogs are the subject of some of the funniest memes ever created.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Humor

5 things recruits screw up the most in boot camp

The majority of recruits who ship out to boot camp are just a few months removed from graduating high school. They are, for the most part, still pretty wet behind the ears and haven’t had experience with the amount of structure they’re about to be exposed to.


We get it — recruits are flustered upon entering the intense world of boot camp. Don’t feel too bad; many newbies these make simple mistakes during their initial training.

Related: 5 ways troops always screw up a simple formation

1. Forgetting their lefts and rights

It’s a simple mistake, but in boot camp, any time is a crappy time to have a brain fart.

 

2. Not shaving properly

The military instills the value of paying close attention to detail. Leaving one, single hair uncut before a boot camp inspection is, in fact, a big deal. However, it’s not unheard of for the military to teach classes for those newbies who have never been clean-shaven before.

3. Not hydrating enough

Drinking water is one of the most important elements to staying healthy. Unfortunately, many recruits are so used to pounding sodas and energy drinks that they tend to forego water and end up falling out of simple hikes.

It’s probably because they don’t like the taste of high-quality H2O.

Also Read: 6 dumb things veterans lie about on the internet

4. Calling their drill sergeant “sir”

Unless you’re in Marine boot camp, where the first and last thing out of your mouth must be “sir,” you should always address your training instructors by their rank or proper title.

In the event you call one of them “sir,” you’re probably going to get the same response:

“Don’t call me, ‘sir.’ I work for a living.”

5. Taking a dump during morning clean up

Recruits are responsible for cleaning their squad bays and restrooms every day.  There’s always one person who has to use the “head” during cleanup or right afterward.

Nobody will like that recruit — at least not for the rest of the day.

Articles

Hilarious Russian soldier proves that their chow halls suck too

A Russian soldier has reached across the Atlantic and shown that federation troops aren’t that different from their American counterparts — or at least their chow halls aren’t.


Specifically, he has shown that they also get stuck with crappy food and that the best thing they can do in response is to get a few laughs out of it.

He’s been gifted some mashed potatoes from the cooks that leave something to be desired. You know, like it would be desirable if the potatoes resembled food instead of glue:

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Hey, Dairy Queen advertises that Blizzards can do this. (GIF: Facebook.com/smokesmoked)

The soldier has a pretty solid delivery and the video is a quick watch at 41 seconds, but you’ll need to be logged in to Facebook to see it below:


Humor

5 things infantrymen love about the ‘woobie’

Though only a select few civilians even know of its existence, the “woobie” is cherished by all Marine and Army infantrymen, enlisted/commissioned, from Vietnam to the present.


Related video:

www.youtube.com

There are two kinds of infantry: Those who gladly pay the embarrassingly undervalued $42.95 reimbursement fee to TMO so they can keep their precious, and those who live with shame and regret for the rest of their days.

This is for the rest of you, not yet acquainted with absolute benevolence.

Related: 5 ways Marines are like ancient Spartans

5. The woobie maintains perfect homeostasis

From the frigid mountains of Afghanistan to the jungles of Vietnam, the U.S. infantry fight our country’s battles in the air, on land, and at sea, but not without that one piece of military-issued comfort: the woobie.

She keeps you warm when it’s cold out, and cool in the hot summer — we freakin’ love that.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
For casual comfort!

4. It can conceal you while you sleep

Originally olive drab, the woobie has evolved into some of the best camouflage around for the infantry warrior. The woobie is currently sporting digital camouflage, appropriate to whichever branch it honorably serves.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Sleep tight, buddy.

3. It dries quickly when wet

Not everyone knows how truly miserable it is being wet for long stretches of time, but all infantrymen do. Google the term “trench foot” and you’ll quickly see that there’s nothing good about staying wet.

The woobie dries fast, and all infantry grunts praise her for it.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Air dry!

2. Don’t forget, it provides shelter when there is none

No shelter? No problem. If you have two packs and two poncho liners, you’re good to go. In fact, the more infantrymen, the more elaborate the structure you can construct by tieing them together. The woobie comes equipped with lashings on each corner and the sides, allowing for creative architecture.

Remember when you were a kid and blanket forts were a thing? It’s the same in the military, except with full-grown men and their arsenal huddled inside.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
A home away from home.

Also Read: The 7 best things about Air Force bases, according to a Marine

1. Plus, it’s green!

And not just the color green, though it usually is. The original woobies were fielded by special forces in 1962, and around 1963, the second generation of woobie was created utilizing WWII duck-hunter-patterned parachute fabric. The fabric entrusted with soldiers’ lives was recycled, reshaped, and repurposed to continue its contributions to a more substantial demographic.

The woobie is a staple of any infantryman’s loadout, and though it may follow the poncho on gear lists, the woobie follows nothing in infantrymen’s hearts. Warriors unite over its capabilities, and we honor woobie for all that it does.

Articles

26 best Navy SEAL porn names and movie titles

So, it turns out that a decorated Navy SEAL has been working a little side gig in adult films with his wife. The pair own a production company and have starred in at least a few films.


Look, we’re not here to judge, and they don’t appear to have ever used their military affiliation to boost their movies. But since the connection is now out in the open, we thought we’d suggest a few themed movie titles they could use, as well as some good names if any of his military colleagues want to help out his company.

(Please, give us your best entries on Facebook.)

Movie Titles

1. SEAL Team Dix

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
(Photo: U.S. Navy Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Daniel Stevenson)

2. Zero Dark Horny

America’s greatest warriors conduct a quiet insertion into Alottabutt, Pakistan, and slay what they find.

3. Squid Muff Diving

These heroes are prepared to go down for their country.

4. In Glorious Bastards

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
(Photo: U.S. Navy Seaman Kyle Gahlau)

5. Pollywogs and Shellbacks

These new recruits are going to learn all about how Navy SEALs cross the equator.

6. SEAL Team 69

Sometimes it’s not enough to watch your brother’s back. You gotta watch his front, too.

7. American Sniper…of butts

We’re actually really proud of this one.

8. Neptune’s Spear

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
(Photo: U.S. Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Martin L. Carey)

These SEALs drive it deep.

9. The O Course

10. Sea, Air, and Labia

These commandos always go where it’s the hottest.

11. Sex Act of Valor

12. Motion of the Ocean

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
(Photo: U.S. Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Shauntae Hinkle)

Whether they’re riding a rubber raiding craft, a Zodiac boat, or a nuclear submarine, these SEALs know it’s not the size of your vessel, it’s what you can do with it.

13. Amphibious Ass-ault

14. BUDS

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
(Photo: U.S. Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Shauntae Hinkle-Lymas/Released)

During the rigors of Hell Week, a group of candidates realizes that they can only rely on, and lie with, each other.

15. DEVGROPE

They’re always up for a special warfare experiment.

Next up: Porn Star Names

1. Squid McLovin

2. Master Chief Muff-Diver

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Photo: Public Domain

He doesn’t come up for air until the mission is complete.

3. Freak E. Frogman

4. Chuck Trident

5. Slip Rey Squid

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
(Photo: U.S. Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Kyle D. Gahlau)

He always slides right in.

6. Fast Rope

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
(Photo: U.S. Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Anthony Harding)

He specializes in light bondage.

7. SEAL de Butts

8. Froggy Style

He knows the best way to complete the objective is sometimes to take it from behind.

9. Captain Cockswain

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
(Photo: U.S. Navy Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Eddie Harrison)

Always ready to take command.

10. Phil Cunt Splice

(Note: Cunt splice is an actual naval term, though most people now use the alternative term “cut splice” for obvious reasons.)

11. Slick Seaman

Humor

6 different types of machine-gunners you’ll meet in the infantry

After spending two to three months in boot camp, young troops who are looking to serve in the infantry must move onto additional grunt training at other various grounds.


Once they graduate from that, some head off to their first units, where they’ll encounter some interesting personalities.

Some of these exciting personalities exist in the diverse troops who carry the “big guns” — aka, the machine-gunners.

Related: 6 types of enlisted ‘docs’ you’ll meet at sick call

1. The “Marksman”

An infantryman works and trains hard to one day deploy their weapon system and score an accurate kill shot. For machine-gunners, scoring a precise kill from a distance is highly unlikely.

This isn’t because the shooter is incapable; that weapon system wasn’t designed to nail an enemy combatant square between the eyes but, rather, to take their head clean off.

However, some gunners still strive to make that perfect shot with their heavy-ass weapon.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Lance Cpl. Eric Lewis (left) shouts out commands to machine gunners during a platoon-size live fire range as part of Exercise Desert Scimitar 2014 aboard Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center Twentynine Palms, Calif. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Sgt. Luis A. Vega)

2. The “Napoleon”

This one refers to the French military leader, Napoleon Bonaparte, because of his height. This gunner gets looked at differently because of the contrast between their smaller body and the massive size of the M240 they’re holding.

However, they always manage to carry it and fire the weapon like a seasoned pro.

3. The “Screamer”

Machine-gunners are trained to whisper the words “die motherf*cker, die” while firing their weapon. In the time it takes to finish saying the words to themselves, they’ve shot roughly between four to six rounds. The “screamer” chooses to shout that sh*t out loud.

This repeated mantra is designed to prevent the gunner from overheating their barrel and causes them regularly adjust their fire for more accuracy.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
U.S. Marine machine gunners provide cover during a live-fire and maneuver exercise as part of sustainment training at D’Arta Plage, Djibouti. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Gunnery Sgt. Rome M. Lazarus)

4. The “Barrel-burner”

As previously stated, machine-gunners are trained to only discharge four to six rounds at a time to avoid overheating their barrels. The “barrel-burner” tends to forget the shooting cycle and fires more than intended — which can cause the barrel to warp.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Army infantrymen change barrels on an M240 Bravo machine gun during a live-fire exercise at Fort Stewart, Ga. (U.S. Army photo by Pfc. Jordan Anderson)

5. The “Freeloader”

This gunner tends to ask other members of his squad to carry his extra ammo so that they can haul more Rip-Its. What’s hilarious about this type of gunner is the nice way they go about asking you.

It makes you feel good about yourself for helping out a brother.

Also Read: 5 of the sneakiest ways people try to fool the front gate MPs

6.  The “Animal Mother”

If you’ve ever served in the infantry, you probably had one or two “Animal Mothers” in your company. Just like in the movie, Full Metal Jacket, he’s the trigger-happy badass who is more than thrilled to shoot into an enemy compound and then ask questions later.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks

Humor

6 easy ways for a grunt to be accepted by POGs

The greatest divide in the U.S. Military is between grunts and the POGs. For as long as this divide has existed, the higher-ups have been trying to find ways to close this gap. To you peacemakers, we say, “good luck.”


Today, we offer insight on how an infantryman can earn respect from their rear-echelon counterparts.

Related: 6 ways for a POG to be accepted by grunts

6. Don’t act like your job is more important

Even though every other job in the military exists to support the infantry, it’s a good idea to stay humble when interacting with a POG. After all, it’s a team effort.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks

5. Teach POGs how to wear their gear

If you see a POG wearing their gear all f*cked up, just pull them aside and give them a hip-pocket class on wearing it right. That is all.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Teach them what not to bring while you’re at it. (Image via DVIDS)

4. Help a POG learn infantry tactics

It might be a headache introducing grunt concepts to a POG, but teaching them how to properly clear a room helps build friendships and better teamwork.

This one might save your life one day — and this’ll give POGs something to show their friends back home.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Circle up and host a quick master class. (Image via U.S. Department of Defense)

3. Get a damn haircut

POGs generally always have access to haircuts. So, of course, they expect that every grunt ought to keep clean as well — even after spending several weeks in the field or in a place where the only barbers are in your platoon.

And most of the so-called “barbers” learned to cut hair from YouTube tutorial videos.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Long hair is acceptable if you’re a part of special operations. (Image via Army Times)

2. Don’t act like your experience gives you rank

This one undoubtedly grinds a POG’s gears. Even if you have numerous deployments under your belt, respect everyone’s rank and speak to them with tact.

Just because that brand-new second lieutenant is fresh out of college and has no military experience doesn’t make them less of a Marine. Always say sh*t like, “with all due respect, sir,” before jumping directly into, “kiss my lower-enlisted ass, sir.”

That way, everyone wins!

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Even if that POG has been spending their whole career behind a desk, swallow your pride and show respect. (Image via DVIDS)

Also read: 5 reasons you should know about the hardcore Selous Scouts

1. Stop being so cool

Let’s face it, they don’t put the 0161 postal clerk on the posters in the Marine Corps recruiting office. No — they put the 0311 Infantry Riflemen and/or the 0351 Infantry Assaultmen on those posters!

Everyone knows these jobs are cool, just make sure you show some respect to everyone, including mailmen MOS.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
So cool. (Image via SOFREP)

*Bonus* Have some manners.

Make sure you thank the cook bringing you hot chow or the motor vehicle operator for the ride back to the rear. After all, without them, it’s cold MREs and long hikes.

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
You know you would have preferred a ride home instead of walking through this crap. (Image from USMC)

Articles

6 things corpsmen should know before going to the ‘Greenside’

There aren’t many jobs in the military where your sea-duty station consists of serving with another branch. But for the Navy rate of an “HM,” or Hospital Corpsman, that’s exactly where you can expect to find yourself.


After you graduate Field Medical Training Battalion, expect to get orders to the Marine Corps side of the house or what we call, the “Greenside” — sooner rather than later.

We call it the greenside because you’re going to wear a sh*t ton of green for the next three years.

Related: 4 unusual tasks Corpsman do that their recruiters left out

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks
Doc, meet the company first sergeant. (imgflip.com)

It can be pretty nerve-wracking for a Corpsman to cross over for the first time. But don’t worry, WATM has your back.

Check out what you should know about heading over to “Greenside.”

1. PT

You don’t have to be a marathon athlete, but don’t let your Marines ever see you fall out of a hike, a run, or get hurt — you’ll look like a p*ssy.

Be the exact opposite of this guy (giphy

2. Chugging a beer

Marines drink a lot of beer during barracks parties. So get your tolerance up and have a few I.Vs handy.

Finding new ways to drink is badass. Plus you’ll look cool. (giphy

3. Always be cool

Marines are trained to love their Doc — they’re also trained to kill. They’re going to look to you for advice from time-to-time. When your grunts do something right, congratulate them.

Great job, Lance Corporal! (giphy)

4. Know every line from “Full Metal Jacket”

Marines love that sh*t when you manage to work a line or two into a conversation. Oh, make sure you have a copy of the movie on your hard drive when you deploy; it’s the “unofficial” movie of the Marine Corps.

Any line will do, as long as it fits the conversation. (giphy)

5. Know your ranks

Marine ranks are different than Navy ones. A Marine Captain is an O-3, compared to a Navy Captain who is an O-6. Big difference.

“Do I look like I’m in the Navy to you!” (giphy)Learn to count chevrons. Senior NCOs’ collar devices can blend into their uniform, making it tough to make out their proper title. Find an alternate way to greet them properly, or you can just take the less populated walkways (aka the long way).

Also Read: 8 tips for ‘skating’ in the military

6. Learn sick call

Face it, the Navy has only given you officially 12-16 weeks worth of medical training. No one is going to ask you to perform open-heart surgery on your first day.

Marines are going to get sick and injured, and that’s your time to shine. When you’re working in the B.A.S., or “battalion aid station,” you’re going to have to explain why your patient is in sick call to the Independent Duty Corpsman or the doctor on staff. Knowing the medical terminology will earn you respect from the Navy doctor to the point they aren’t going to waste their time doing the second examination.

Getting your Marine a day off work or light duty is key. Impress your Marine and your life, and your heavy pack will seem lighter on a hike — it’s a beautiful thing.

Can you think of any more? Comment below.
Humor

Top 10 ‘Terminal Lance’ comics from 2017

There are definitely differences between the branches of the military, which allow for healthy rivalries, but at the end of the day, serving in the military is a mindf*ck we all endured gives troops common ground based on similar experiences. That’s why you don’t have to be a Marine to appreciate the wry and insightful humor of Terminal Lance.


Created by Lance Corporal Maximilian Uriarte, Terminal Lance “pokes fun at the Marine Corps” from a grunt’s point of view. He focuses on his own experiences and observations from his time in the Marines, but vets from any branch can relate to the scenarios depicted (think getting ripped apart by your command, how a reveille wake-up call feels, or being hungover at morning PT).

And it’s spot on.

(Although every now and again, they fly right over this airman’s head. Please never tell me if you guys kill turtles at Twentynine Palms…)

Without further ado, here are my ten favorites from 2017:

10. “Fly Hard”

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks

I can’t get enough sky dick. Thank you for keeping it alive, Max.

9. “Secret Weapon”

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks

Mattis, you’re our only hope.

8. “Permanent Changes”

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks

Recruiters never really tell you that you could end up stationed in a sh*thole for four years, but there are ways around it.

7. “The Babysitter’s Club II”

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks

I was undoubtedly that officer. #sorrynotsorry

6. “Throwback Thursday”

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks

Come on, America. We can do better.

5. “Happy Easter 2017”

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks

I just want “Wagner Loves the Cock. Stay Woke.” on a t-shirt.

4. “New Joins”

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks

Time to go full metal b*tch on that Blue Ribbon…

3. “Grass Week” 

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks

“Soon” made me lol, but this is funny because it’s so true. We were doing Soviet-defense training when we should have been concentrating on guerrilla tactics and asymmetrical warfare and it always pissed me right off.

Whew! Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

2. “You’re a Mean One II” 

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks

Too many military leaders are dead inside. This one hurts.

1. “Drill Instructor Academy”

6 ways to make money while living in the barracks

Drill instructors made me laugh — and then I got in trouble for laughing and they’d say more funny sh*t and I’d laugh and get in trouble and it went on like that until I graduated. I don’t know how they come up with the insane vitriol that they do, but I love it and I commend them.

Especially you, Technical Sergeant Gamble… wherever you are…

Check out Terminal Lance (if you somehow haven’t already?) — you can start right here with one of Max’s all-time favorites.

Let me know your favorites in the comments.

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