5 of the most challenging things you'll face on deployment, outside of combat - We Are The Mighty
Humor

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat

Anyone about to deploy to a war zone needs to prepare for a number of things. Combat is fraught with danger and a scenario can go to sh*t at a moment’s notice. You genuinely don’t know what lurks around any corner while out on patrol.


Unfortunately, combat is just one of the many problems that service members face when deployed. Thankfully, the following aren’t quite as dangerous as a firefight.

Related: 7 things troops do on deployments that they won’t admit to

1. Mail drops

Receiving mail can be the life or death of a deployed troop. Not every package comes in perfect condition and, sometimes, what you get from back home can be upsetting.

No one wants to get a Dear John letter.

 

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
Poor guy… Jody just stole his girl. (Screen Gems’ Dear John)

2. Language barriers

Typically, the countries we go to war with and work alongside don’t speak the best English. This creates conflict because American service members like to say curse words — and some of the foul language we use figuratively on a daily basis, they take literally.  Take the term “motherf*cker,” for instance. When our Afghan counterparts hear those words, they think we’re referring to actually nailing their mothers.

As you can imagine, that message isn’t well received.

3. Local food

When someone invites you to eat with them, it’s only polite that you do so. If you’re in a foreign country and you someone extends this gracious offer, you’d better accept.

However, good luck digesting all the spices and foreign methods of food prep.

4. Cultural misunderstandings

Americans have a unique way of living and so does the rest of the world. Some of the cultures we work with don’t want us looking at, or even talking to their women, no matter how benign the intent — and we have to respect that.

Despite the best intentions, there have been some cases in which various nations’ troops don’t comply with social rules. That’s when unnecessary conflict pops up.

Also Read: 9 things we miss from our Afghanistan deployments

5. Getting freakin’ sick

Allied troops get all kinds of vaccines to prevent local illnesses that may lurk. However, we don’t vaccinate for every type of viral infections and insect bite. No one wants to get sick while they’re back home, let alone while they’re deployed to a war zone.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat

Humor

5 kid toys troops will reuse for tactical reasons

Children love playing with toys. So, it makes sense that immature adults love playing with toys, too. A benefit of being in the military is that we can pretend like there’s actually a legitimate reason for playing along.


Somewhere along the line, a high-ranking officer saw that same immature troop accomplish some good through playing with toys and gave the following the seal of approval.

1. Nerf guns

Never underestimate the abilities of a bored infantry platoon looking for a way to let off steam. Stacking and clearing “glass houses” (which are really just white tape on the ground) and using your gun-shaped fingers as mock-weaponry gets kinda dull after a while.

What’s actually fun is when the platoons of hardened warfighters practice their battle drills in the barracks by kicking in doors and tagging each other with Nerf darts while they’re on the toilet.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
You thought civilian office pranks were bad? Check out an infantry platoon on a regular Tuesday. (Photo by Staff Sgt. Bryan Peterson)

2. Paintball guns

The rules of engagement are taken very seriously by troops who are deployed. First, you must establish a show of force, letting a potential enemy know you’re armed. Then, you shout, usually through an interpreter or in broken Farsi, to let the enemy know they should back the f*ck up. If they still don’t back away, you can physically “shove” them in the direction they should be going in. Finally, use of force is authorized.

Some troops find it easier to just cover their feet with colored paint than to bust out the real weapons.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
The real ones don’t really shoot red paint. (Photo by Lance Cpl. Sean Dennison)

3. Little, green Army men

Sand tables are used by commanders to show a rough overview of the mission. Many different things can be designated as a unit. This broken stick? The objective. And this pebble will flank in through the south — like this.

Commanders can clear away a bunch of the confusion by ordering a $5 bucket of plastic Army guys. Add a little bit of paint and you’ve got some distinct markers.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
“Okay, first platoon. You’re going to wave your rifles in the air like an idiot. Second, you’re going to kneel with a radio.” (Photo by Sgt. Tracy McKithern)

4. Silly String

Trip wires are placed by the enemy on the paths through which troops will walk. When someone bumps into it, the attached explosives detonate. The solution? A cheap can of Silly String.

The string shoots out pretty far and is so soft and light that it won’t set off the wire. If troops spray it through a doorway, they’ll quickly discover a trap. Even if a wire is sensitive enough to be tripped by silly string, the surprisingly long range of the spray gives troops enough distance to mitigate some of the explosion.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat

5. Walkie-talkies

The military has plans for everything, especially communication. Primarily, units depend on secured, frequency-hopping radios. Alternatively, troops can rely on a slightly less secure radio. In case of an absolute emergency, send a runner.

A cheap, effective, “ah-crap” plan is to use regular walkie-talkies instead of sending that runner to maintain unit integrity.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
At least opt for the non-kiddie version to save some dignity. (Photo by Staff Sgt. Timothy Koster)

Articles

The new SECARMY is killing it with sea turtles, pushups, and Nicki Minaj

Secretary of the Army Eric Fanning has a lot of work ahead of him. Keeping the Army strong enough to counter threats from Russia, China, and international terrorism while facing constant budget questions is tough.


Only time will tell if he can rise to the challenge. If nothing else, though, he will definitely leave his mark on the Twittersphere because he is already killing it there.

Fanning was confirmed on May 17, 2016. Since then, he’s Tweeted a Star Wars GIF to show love for baseball:

… and an “Across the Universe” GIF to talk about Fort Jackson drill sergeants turning citizens into Soldiers:

Of course, it’s not all movies with the new SECARMY. He was scheduled to visit soldiers training in Anakonda 16 during the 241st Army Birthday and tweeted a clip of Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” video to let them know he was coming to Torun, Poland to make sure they were working out:

That turned into a Twitter exchange where he challenged a German general to one-handed pushups (via a GIF of “Kung Fu Panda,” because of course he used “Kung Fu Panda”) and 16th Sustainment Brigade soldiers responded with a video of 0-handed pushups:

While he was in Poland, he visited those same troops and worked out with them, then tweeted a photo of it:

Finally, while Fanning was working out with the troops, the Secretary of the Navy tweeted a happy birthday message to America’s oldest military branch. The Fanning responded with an awesome sea turtle, giving a nod to the sea service and “The Little Mermaid” in the process:

Fanning is going to face a lot of leadership challenges during his tenure as secretary. He’s already had to offer leadership and condolences as Fort Hood lost nine soldiers killed when their truck overturned in floodwaters and the Army Reserve lost a captain in the attack at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando.

But while he can’t be physically present every time a soldier is in danger or needs comfort, he can help keep morale up by ensuring troops know that someone smart and capable has their back in Washington D.C. If he can run the beltway half as well as he runs his Twitter feed, then the Army should be okay.

Humor

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
Pfc. Harley Dennis, of Anderson, who serves with the Missouri National Guard’s 276th Engineer Company in Pierce City, assists Sgt. 1st Class Eric Corcoran to deliver more than 300 Valentine’s Day balloons to area school kids in the southwest Missouri town. (Photo by Staff Sgt. Dennis Chambers/Missouri National Guard)


In our house, Valentine’s Day isn’t really a thing. As a general rule, the Marine isn’t home for the “holiday,” and since there are a lot of holiday’s he spends away, courtesy of the USMC, this is one day we just don’t really concern ourselves with.

But this year we ran into a snag. Their names are Bethany, Zachary, and Christopher — also known as the three youngest members of the Foley Fire Team.

On the edge of the dreaded teenage years, Bethany came home a few days ago armed with a love note from her “boyfriend” (that asshole), and sat down with her younger brothers to plot out “The Best Valentine’s Gift Ever;” it apparently consists of a lot of bacon (they DO take after their mother, after-all), and a seven-hour nap time while they’re at school. Because adulting is hard.

They presented their plan to the Marine, and then waited with bated breath for him to tell them his grand scheme for the Day Of Love.

“I just bought Mom curtains and a new curtain rod. I suppose I could hang them up before she wakes up?”

The two youngest of the fire team promptly ran off to tattle on Daddy. Not buy Mom a “love” gift? He’s practically an abomination to them right now.

While the boys were relaying the horrifying ordeal to me, I wondered how the Marine was going to get out of this one. It’s perfectly fine to explain to the 12-year-old that sometimes Dad just doesn’t really subscribe to romantic things. As a girl she’s going to have to come to terms with the fact that dudes like him really do exist.

But try explaining that to two 8-and 9-year-old boys who are currently at the dining room table gluing pink and red hearts all over their camouflage Valentine boxes because they know that, while they like camo and guns, girls sometimes like hearts. How Daddy doesn’t understand this is totally beyond their capacity.

“Maybe Daddy is planning a surprise and he doesn’t want to ruin it,” I whispered conspiratorially. The boys nodded and agreed that that’s exactly what was happening. It was the only thing that made sense to them.

“You’re going to want to brain storm some last minute ideas, dude,” I told the Marine later.

“Can you do that crowd-sourcing thing you do on your Facebook and I’ll pick something from that?” he asked.

So that’s exactly what I did, and let me say, I was surprised. Not one girl said she wanted flowers, chocolate, jewelry, or even anything expensive or time consuming, and a lot of their gift suggestions included food.

In fact, because I know the Marine isn’t the only one out there who is finding himself in a gift pickle at the last minute, here’s what actual military spouses said they really want for Valentine’s Day, word for word and complete with all their annoying little emoji things:

1. Bacon roses

Because Valentine’s Day just screams “pork,” right?

2. Not celebrating Valentine’s Day at all.

Jeesh, more “romance” in our marriage/dating? We already have enough of that already…

3. Homemade vouchers for cool stuff

How about a movie night, a kiss and makeup session no matter how upset I am, free kisses anytime all day, etc.

4. Stay at home “date”

My husband is hitting up the USO tomorrow during lunch for flowers and cheap chocolate. ?. Yes he told me he wants to do that. He’s ridiculous. Lol. But in seriousness, even a nice walk or living room picnic on the floor. Super cheap, corny, and fun

5. Waffle House

Hands down. If you sneak them like $10, they’ll let you smuggle in wine sometimes (not that I’m speaking from experience or anything).

6. Beach stroll

This year we are going to take a few hours during the day to run to the beach and just put our toes in the sand before kids get home from school.

7. Mom time

Netflix movie, homemade desert, and pjs. 🙂

8. Cheap sushi

We went to Hamazushi last night because it’s very inexpensive (most items are ¥100 a plate), all you can eat, good quality sushi. Plus it’s all served on conveyor belts and ya can’t beat the novelty of that. 😉 Also, [He] started college again and has a lab tonight, so he won’t be home for “actual” Valentine’s date stuff.

9. A cuddle

After being apart—just being together is enough. I know that may sound cheesy, but it’s so the truth. Being preggo and sick, I’m hoping our date will include pj’s and our couch and the latest “this is us” episode.

10. Couch time

We spend all our budget on the kids. We will stay home with popcorn and a movie to celebrate it.

11. Old School necking

In the car…in the driveway!! ??

12. A load of beef … with love

I’ll make him his fave meal at home… meat loaf!

13. Learn something new

We are taking a couples cooking class tomorrow ❤️

14. A full-on pizza and bubbly extravaganza

[He] & I have done the same thing every year since we’ve been together: Heart-shaped homemade pizza (with mini heart pizzas for the puppies) + our favorite prosecco (the same brand from our wedding) and chocolate covered strawberries (sometimes homemade, sometimes from HEB)… and then turning on a cheesy movie or tv show on Netflix.

It started out the first year or two as our “thing” because we really couldn’t afford too much else. But now it’s a special, almost sacred ritual for us. I wouldn’t trade our little cozy tradition for a world-class meal. It’s just too important to me. I should clarify and say “every year he was actually HERE to celebrate.”

15. Some shootin’

Well, we got married Valentine’s day. We celebrate by hanging out and we go to dinner either the day before or the day after (since payday is always afterwards)because it’s always less crowded. This year is our 20th and we both took the day off. We’re having a range and lunch date. Since it’s a work day, lunch isn’t as crowded and definitely cheaper.

So what are you doing for Valentine’s Day?

And if the Marine is reading this, bacon roses are totally appropriate.

Articles

Someone wrote a list of 65 ways civilians can simulate military life and it’s hilarious

Almost everyone gets email forwards from their family. In the days before social media, people emailed the jokes, memes, and urban legends that populate Facebook, Tumblr, and Pinterest today. These days, it’s mostly older people that stick to forwarding emails instead of sharing via social media.


Loved ones forward things to veterans wanting to know if something about the military or life in the military is true.

This one has been circulating around the internet for a while. Its origins are hard to trace, but the authors — whomever they may be — pinpointed some of the more bizarre aspects of military life by trying to find a civilian equivalent. It’s funny to look back at things military personnel and veterans accept as a part of life, no matter how strange it may seem from the outside looking in.

65 ways civilians can simulate military life:

1. Dig a big hole in your back yard and live in it for 30 days straight.

2. Go inside only to clean the house. On weekends, you can eat in the house, but you can’t talk.

3. Pour 10 inches of nasty, crappy water into your hole, then shovel it out, stack sandbags around it and cover it with a sheet of old plywood.

4. Fill a backpack with 50 pounds of kitty litter. Never take it off outdoors. Jog everywhere you go.

5. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go the scummiest part of town, find the most run down trashy bar you can, pay $10 per beer until you’re hammered, then walk home in the freezing cold.

6. Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawnmower.

7. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, turn the water pressure in your shower down to a trickle, then on Tuesdays and Thursdays, turn it up so hard it peels skin. On Saturdays and Sundays, declare to your entire family that they can’t use the shower in order to keep it clean for inspection.

8. Go inside and make your bed every morning. Have your wife tear the blankets off at random during the day. Re-make the bed each time until it is time to go back outside and sleep in your hole.

9. Have your next door neighbor come over each day at 5am, and blow a whistle so loud that Helen Keller could hear it and shout “Get up! Get up! You are moving too slow! Get down and do push-ups!”

10. Have your mother-in-law write down everything she’s going to do the following day, then have her make you stand in the back yard at 6am and read it to you.

11. Eat the raunchiest Mexican food you can find for three days straight, then lock yourself out of the bathroom for 12 hours. Hang a sign on the bathroom door that says, “Unserviceable.”

12. Submit a request form to your father-in-law, asking if it’s ok for you to leave your house before 5pm.

13. Invite 200 of your not-so-closest friends to come over. Have them all dig holes in your yard to live in. After 30 days, fill in the holes and wave at your friends and family through the front window of your home as you set out for a 25 mile walk and After-Action-Review.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat

14. Shower with above-mentioned friends.

15. Make your family qualify to operate all the appliances in your home (i.e. Dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc.).

16. Walk around your car for 4 hours checking the tire pressure every 15 minutes. Write down on a piece of paper everything you want the shop to fix the next time you bring the car in. Give your wife the list to throw away.

17. Sit in your car and let it run for 4 hours with the windows down before going anywhere. Tune the radio to static and monitor it while letting the car run. If it is cold outside, don’t run the heat. Sleep on the hood or roof of your car.

18. Empty all the garbage bins in your house, and sweep your driveway 3 times a day, whether they need it or not.

19. Repaint your entire house once a month. Paint white rings around all the trees in your neighborhood. Paint all curbs yellow. Paint all rocks red.

20. Cook all of your food blindfolded, groping for any spice and seasoning you can get your hands on.

21. Use eighteen scoops of budget coffee grounds per pot, and allow each pot to sit 5 hours before drinking.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
That government coffee.

22. Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, read your magazines, and randomly lose every 5th item.

23. Spend $20,000 on a satellite system for your TV, but only watch CNN and the Weather Channel when you are inside to eat. Tune the tint on the TV to green.

24. Avoid watching your green tinted TV with the exception of movies which are played in the middle of the night. Have the family vote on which movie to watch and then show a different one.

25. Have your 5-year-old cousin give you a haircut with goat shears.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
The barracks barber or the Exchange barber? Roll the dice.

26. Sew big pockets to the legs of your pants. Don’t use them.

27. Spend 2 weeks sleeping in holes in your neighbor’s lawns and call it a deployment.

28. Spend a year sleeping in holes in your local area and call it world travel.

29. Attempt to spend 5 years working at McDonald’s and NOT get promoted.

30. Ensure that any promotions you do get are from stepping on the dead bodies of your co-workers.

31. Blast heavy metal music on your stereo and conduct Ranger PT, grass drills, and sprints on your front lawn after your neighbors have gone to bed.

32. When your children are in bed, run into their room with a megaphone and shout at the top of your lungs that your home is under attack, and order them to man their fighting positions. Don’t let them eat or sleep again for two days.

33. Make your family menu a week ahead of time and do so without checking the pantry and refrigerator.

34. Post a menu on the refrigerator door informing your family that you are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for at least an hour. When they finally get to the kitchen, tell them that you are out of steak, but you have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they don’t pay attention to the menu anymore so they just ask for hot dogs.

35. When baking a cake, prop up one side of the pan while it is in the oven. Spread icing on real thick to level it off.

36. In the middle of January, place a gate at the end of your street. Have your family stand watches at the gate, rotating at 4-hour intervals.

37. Make your family live with you in your hole for 6 weeks. Then tell them that at the end of the 6th week you’re going to take them to Disneyland for “block leave.” When the end of the 6th week rolls around, inform them that Disneyland has been canceled due to the fact that they need to get ready for Individual Skill Certification, and that it will be another week before they can go back into the house.

38. In your hole (refer to #1), with 200 of your not-so-closest friends (see para. 13), get the flu.

39. Sleep in a thicket of blackberries or rose bushes. Tie a string to your foot that runs to the house. Have your wife yank on the string about 3 hours after you go to sleep. Crawl out of the bushes and go to the house to see what she wants. She should then shine a flashlight in your eyes and mumble, “Just making sure you’re okay.”

40. Do not sleep from 1:00 a.m. Monday mornings until 3 p.m. Wednesday afternoons. Tie a branch around your neck and chew on sand to stay awake.

41. When there is a thunderstorm in your area, dig a trench into your hole so that it fills up with water. During the worst part of the storm, get out of your hole and go for a 12 mile walk.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
How you feel after that hike.

42. Don’t change your socks for a week. After they disintegrate off with pieces of your feet, put on an unbroken pair of new boots and go for a 12-mile walk.

43. For mechanized infantry or armor types: leave the lawn mower running next to your hole 24 hours a day. When you get an opportunity to sleep in your house, put lube oil in your humidifier and set it on high.

44. Have the paperboy give you a haircut.

45. Set up a port-a-potty in the corner of your yard. Once a week, have the service truck back into your yard and pump it out. Make sure the wind carries the smell into your neighbor’s house. Ignore his complaints.

46. Every other month pull every single possession you own out of your house and line everything up on your lawn from smallest to largest, front to back. Count everything and write it down to file with your insurance company. Give your wife the list to throw away.

47. Lock wire the lug nuts on your car.

48. Buy a trash can, but don’t use it. Store the garbage in your hole.

49. Get up every night around midnight and stroll around your yard to “check the perimeter.”

50. Run the garden hose to your hole and turn it on. Set your alarm clock to go off at random during the night. Jump up and get dressed as fast as you can. Run out into the backyard and get in your hole.

51. Once a month, take apart every major appliance in your home and put them back together again.

52. Build a scale model of your yard. Make your children draw sketches of it including little arrows indicating what they are going to do when they go out to play. Post these sketches on a bulletin board for reference.

53. Remove the insulation and widen the frames of your front and back doors so that no matter how tight you shut the door, the weather will still get inside.

54. Every so often, throw the cat in front of your hole and shout “Enemy in the wire! Fire Claymores!” Then run into the house cut off the circuit breaker. Yell at the wife and kids for violating security and not maintaining good noise and light discipline.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
You’ll never be squad leader with that attitude, Billy.

55. Put on the headphones from your stereo set, but don’t plug them in. Hang a paper cup around your neck with string. Go sit in your car. Say to no one in particular “Lost-One, this is Lost-Three, are you lost too, over?” Sit there for three or four hours with the engine running. Say again to no one in particular “Negative contact, Lost-Three out.” Roll up your headphones and paper cup and place them in a box.

56. Cook a gourmet meal then eat it in the middle of a McDonald’s play place.

57. Receive 500 gallons of purified water. Only eat snow.

58. Find out your house was built on an erosion point. Burn your house down. Build new one 3 feet away.

59. Buy 10 pairs of sunglasses for your neighbors to steal.

60. When you catch above mentioned neighbors, only blame the neighbors that just moved in.

61. Dig a new hole in your front yard for a bathroom next to your original hole. Only piss in Powerade bottles.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
Home is where you dig it. (U.S. Marine Corps photo)

62. When above-mentioned hole is washed away, dig a new bathroom hole 6 inches from your fresh water supply.

63. Every 2 or 3 days take your closest not-so-close friends camping across the street.

64. Shower semi-annually.

65. Have your parents take away your allowance on weekends that were a part of your vacation.

Humor

6 ways military life would be easier if it were like a video game

Young civilians often tend to equate life in the military with what they see in video games. By their very nature, video games are supposed to be fun and engaging. You often find yourself in the boots of an impossibly badass character, doing over the top things.


By contrast, life in the military usually involves sitting around, waiting to hear what the next training exercise will be. It’s definitely not the video-game-like experience some might expect.

We can’t blame you for using your imagination, though. In fact, these are some things about video games that would make real military service so much better.

6. The tutorial would be much shorter

At the beginning of nearly every game, you’re first taught how to play the game. Use the sticks to move around, press ‘X’ to jump, press ‘R2’ to shoot, and so on. In the real world, you spend 9 weeks in basic/boot camp, additional time learning your specific MOS, and then god-knows-how-much time before you actually deploy.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
Your Colonel would never get on the radio to teach you how to climb a ladder… (Screenshot from Konami’s Metal Gear Solid)

5. Traveling would just be a load screen

One of the worst waits in the military is the moment you pack your duffle bag for the last time to leave the deployment. You wait to get the order to move to the larger FOBs, you wait to get the order to leave country to a larger airfield, and then you wait for the plane to finally touch down. At least in a video game, the load screens don’t last three weeks.

Every troop while they “hurry up and wait.” (Image via GIPHY)

4. Having a choice in gear would be nice

The most common talking point between someone who plays military video games and someone who actually knows the military is weapon selection. You’ll hear the, “Oh, did you get to use the (insert weapon issued by another country’s SpecOps)?”

Almost always, you’re assigned a weapon by your squad leader. One person is the grenadier, another the machine gunner. Everyone else is a rifleman. Rarely will you even interact with someone who has a sniper rifle, let alone use one.

If you’re wondering who gets the machine gun, it’s always the smallest person — because it’s funny. (Image via GIPHY)

3. Combat would be easy if the enemy was flagged for PvP

In massively multiplayer games, like World of Warcraft, you get to have fun duking it out with others in player-versus-player combat. For the most part, you’re always going to know who, exactly, is your enemy. Iraq and Afghanistan, on the other hand…

Also, looting stuff from the enemy is also generally frowned upon. (Image via GIPHY)

2. No need for medics!

Who needs an entire expertise that takes years of training when you can just step on top of a first aid kit or hide behind a rock until your screen stops glowing red?

You could get shot thirty times and get right back up to chainsaw someone in half a few seconds later.

Much simpler than changing your socks and taking a Motrin. (Image via GIPHY)

1. Changes from the developers usually make things easier

There’s no real rank structure in video games. Sure, you might have a guild leader or your e-sports team might have a captain, but the only words that come down the pipe to a gamer, generally, are patch notes. Games get patched to fix bugs, make the game more accessible, and usually have a positive impact on the overall game.

If you get word from the Big Military on something, it’s usually something dumb, like a change in the tattoo policy or a memo stating the uniforms you just bought are now obsolete.

If you think hearing your character got nerfed was bad, try hearing your deployment got extended. (Image via GIPHY)

Articles

This Green Beret will make you a mental commando

When things get squirrely, military vets have several advantages over career civilians. Vets, of course, have the benefit of combat and tactical training, but they’ve also learned to develop a formidable mental game.


Former Green Beret Mike Glover used this notion as inspiration and a jumping off point when he founded Fieldcraft Survival, his school for disaster preparedness.

With 18 years of deep operational experience, certifications out the wazoo (just check his founder’s bio), and a doomsday sense of humor that would make Mad Max proud, Glover is uniquely qualified to teach civilians to keep their heads and preserve their lives as the worst case scenario unfolds.

“At Fieldcraft, our whole basic motto is we’re teaching mindset over hard skills.”

Things, of course, got extra squirrely when Oscar Mike host Ryan Curtis dropped in for a visit.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat

Glover hustled Curtis right into training, first in the classroom to reinforce the importance of developing a strong mental game and then in the field, where the two ran through the O.P.S. Course, which stands for Observe, Prepare, Survive.

And just as the word “challenge” was leaving Curtis’ mouth a distant cry of distress told our heroes it was time to oil up for action.

What happened next pretty much sums up the whole series.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
These are the faces of true bravery. (Go90 Oscar Mike screenshot)

Watch as Glover teaches this wannabe Martin Riggs the real meaning of the word “squirrely”, in the video embedded at the top.

Watch more Oscar Mike:

This is why you don’t challenge an ex-sniper to a duel

The Marine Rapper will make you shake your Citizen Rump

This is why the future of motocross is female

This is what happens when a Navy SEAL becomes an actor

This is what happens when a SEAL helps you with your lady problems

Humor

5 types of platoon sergeants you’ll face in the infantry

Platoon sergeants have to be jacks-of-all-trades to handle their many roles. They must balance the welfare of their troops and supervise training evolutions all while keeping up with the platoon’s administrative tasks — it’s a lot of work.


When you first enter the unit as a newbie boot, it’s rare that you’ll ever get to know much about your platoon sergeant outside of their name, rank, and how many countries they’ve deployed to. However, there are others who pride themselves on getting to know a few things about each one of their troops. Every platoon sergeant has their own style of leading that works best for them.

But, if you’re in the infantry, you’ll come in contact with at least five different types of platoon sergeants in a grunt unit.

Related: 11 things your platoon medic would never say

1. The tactical, hands-on one

Some platoon sergeants take a back seat to their other NCOs when it comes training their troops. Others want to spearhead the training and break everything down themselves, “Barney style” — which isn’t a bad thing.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat

2. The organized pointer

This type of platoon sergeant has practically seen it all and done it all. He shows up prepared and ready to kick ass. They know what they need and how to get the job done.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat

3. The one who wants to get in the fight

This motivated leader helps plan out missions and even lends a hand when they aren’t in battalion-level meetings.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
Locked and loaded. (Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

4. The one who loves themselves some training

These are one of our favorite types. They’re the ones who will strap on a heavy pack and go on a ruck march to prove they can lead, and that they’ve still “got it.”

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
After a 12-mile hike, this platoon sergeant is still smiling — no big deal. (NCO Journal photo by Clifford Kyle Jones)

Also Read: 7 different types of MPs you’ll face at the gate

5. The seasoned badass

This is the type that when he speaks, everyone in the platoon listens like the words are spoken from scripture. He’s earned the right to be heard by everyone. Other up-and-coming grunts hope they’ll be like him someday.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
Staff Sgt. Tom Painter, a section leader with Amphibious Assault Vehicle Platoon debriefs his Marines after conducting a field exercise. (Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

Humor

10 times Russian troll-bots fooled the West

During the 2016 election, Russian-linked bots and trolls on social media attempted to inflame relations among Americans by spreading fake news and highlighting vulnerable racial and political divisions. They bought ads on Twitter and shared posts on Facebook, concealing their identities while pretending to be real Americans.


But the Kremlin has another, more conspicuous way of spreading propaganda and trolling the West that doesn’t normally get as much attention.

In the last few years, Russia has used official government Twitter accounts to undermine the West and hit back against criticism, often with tantalizing and meme-filled rhetoric. The Twitter accounts of Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MFA) and its Embassy in the UK, both of which tweet in English, have been particularly active.

On Nov. 14 for example, after UK Prime Minister Theresa May slammed Russia for planting fake stories and photo-shopping images on social media “in an attempt to sow discord in the West,” Russia’s MFA tweeted a satirical response.

 

This was just the latest in a string of official Russian government tweets aimed at sparking controversy among Moscow’s adversaries.

Also Read: 9 epic ways you can troll your radio guy

In a report published Nov. 13, the watchdog group Freedom House noted that in few places is “the hypocritical link between state propaganda and legal restrictions on the media stronger than in Russia.” This gives Russia monopoly over the flow of information within its borders. Increasingly, the report says, Russia has used similar information manipulation tactics abroad.

Here are 9 other times Russia has used its official Twitter accounts to troll Western leaders and the media:

The Russian Embassy in the UK reacted to former President Barack Obama expelling diplomats and closing Russian compounds in December 2016 in retaliation for meddling in the US election.

Stories of Russian hacking and election interference became more widespread in the US, and the Russian Embassy was at it again.

Theresa May said Belgium was meddling in its general election — and Russia was happy they weren’t being accused this time.

The CIA tweeted it was looking for Americans who can speak Russian and who are interested in national security issues. Of course, Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs had a response.

Hillary Clinton visited the UK to promote her new book about the 2016 election in October 2017, and the embassy drew a parallel between what she was condemning.

Newspapers reported that pundits are trying to prevent the Trump administration from smoothing US-Russia relations, and the Russian Embassy responded with a Pepe the Frog meme the alt-right uses.

Amid fears of spying, England said its football team would travel in Russia with a surveillance team. The Russian Embassy shot back with a zinger about England’s football team.

Critics alleged that President Donald Trump is a Russian pawn, and the Russian Embassy shared a meme from “The Great Gatsby.”

The British member of parliament leading the UK investigation into Russian election meddling talked about fake news, and the Russian Embassy egged him on with some #ThursdayThoughts.

Humor

4 hilarious tips for pulling the ‘veteran card’ in school

Going to college is a huge step in every veteran’s life after they get out of the military. You just finished serving your country, now you can go to school full time and get it completely paid for – and get paid while you’re doing it.


We earned a pretty epic deal.

But the benefits of being a veteran don’t have to stop there. If you play your cards right, you can flex your “veteran” title and receive some less-than-official bonuses.

Related: Here’s the best time and place to pull the ‘veteran card’

Check out these insightful ways to pull the veteran card in your school – but please use these tips for good and not evil.

1. Getting accepted

Colleges around the country tend to have a strict application process which weed out many student hopefuls. Having the government willing to pay your full tuition is a huge benefit in the school’s eyes — everyone likes to get paid.

It’s a fact.

It’s important that you fill out all the necessary paperwork in a timely order or risk sitting at home for a whole semester.

Please stop clapping like that — its only community college. (Image via Giphy)

2. Receiving extra time for homework and other projects

The majority of colleges have procedures in place for veterans who have “focus issues,” which is great. As long as you let your teachers and the school’s administration know you may have this issue because of your deployments, the more lee way you’re bound to get.

We know you do! (Image via Giphy)

3. Booking classes

Sometimes classes just fill up too quickly, and a veteran can’t register for one of the spots in time — we know it sucks.

Here’s what you do — tell whoever is in charge of booking the classes that you won’t get your monthly VA benefits unless you can get in, followed by the sweetest smile you can muster.

It so freakin’ worked. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: 7 phrases old school veterans can’t stop saying

4. Missing classes

Sometimes you don’t want to go to school on certain days — you’re just not feeling it.

Here’s what you do if you’re willing to put in a little leg work. After you get in good with the teachers, email them saying you’re stuck at the VA waiting for your appointment.

If they ask for a doctor’s note, you need to show some proof like a dated appointment card for another day. Schools tend to work around the veteran’s schedule because we’ve earned it.

Don’t abuse this perk because if they lose faith in your integrity, you could screw other vets over.

That’s what you get. (Images via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of June 16

Military memes are like digital morale, and we have collected the most potent 13 from this week for your pleasure.


1. Definitely going to get made fun of on the ship for that one (via Sh-t my LPO says).

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
Gonna be especially tough when you get sent to different ships.

2. The Army does not know how to party (via ASMDSS).

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
Soldiers do, but not the Army.

ALSO SEE: The US Navy might pull these old combat ships out of mothballs

3. In the end, only the DD-214 remains.

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
At least you get to cover your truck in Eagles, Globes, and Anchors.

4. This is why socialized pay in the military is so weird:

(via Coast Guard Memes)

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
Remember, future enlistees, E3 pay is E3 pay is E3 pay.

5. All this for a Camaro (via Team Non-Rec).

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
A Camaro you can’t even drive when you’re stuck out at sea.

6. Double points when they want to talk about morale (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat

7. “Keep on firing, buddy. I’m behind cover and my guardian angel is 3… 2… 1…” (via Weapons of Meme Destruction)

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
BOOM!

8. Peace. Out. (Via Lost in the Sauce)

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
Find someone else to fight your war. I’m headed to college and stuff.

9. Turns out, the camouflage works better than anyone predicted (via Sh-t my LPO says).

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
This guy won the dirtbag, shammer, and hide and seek championships for this year. Triple crown!

10. All about the Benjamins, baby (via The Salty Soldier).

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
The answer is no. Thanks for the money.

11. Chiefs will avoid it at all costs (via Decelerate Your Life).

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
They’ll go so far as swim PT just to avoid it.

12. Just remember to bring something to use in exchange (via Decelerate Your Life).

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
The supply bubbas know how to get what’s theirs.

13. He can’t help you now, staff sergeant (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
College and the civilian job market don’t look so scary right before another NTC rotation.

Humor

That time someone hacked Iran’s nuclear program computers to blast AC/DC songs

In 2012, a handful of nuclear scientists in Iran were (probably) surprised to find their computers had been taken over by a virus, a virus that caused their computers to turn on full volume — blasting songs by AC/DC.


 

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat
Huh huh. Huh huh. Cool. (MTV/Viacom)

 

Al-Arabiya’s English language site reported a letter from Iran’s atomic scientists was sent to Finnish Internet security site F-Secure Security Labs begging for help.

“I am writing you to inform you that our nuclear program has once again been compromised and attacked by a new worm with exploits which have shut down our automation network at Natanz and another facility Fordo near Qom. There was also some music playing randomly on several of the workstations during the middle of the night with the volume maxed out. I believe it was playing ‘Thunderstruck’ by AC/DC.”

This isn’t the first time Iranian nuclear sites were hit with computer viruses in an effort to disrupt the nation’s nuclear programs. In 2010, a U.S.-Israeli virus called Stuxnet devastated Iran’s uranium enrichment centers and computer software infrastructure.

Playing “Thunderstruck” at full volume in the middle of the night, while annoying, certainly isn’t as destructive as the Stuxnet virus. That such malicious logic (as it’s known to military IT professionals) could penetrate Iran’s nuclear program so soon after the Stuxnet debacle just goes to show how vulnerable the program was.

 

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat

It’s probably for the best that Iran ended up making a deal.

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