Joanna Mendez, former Central Intelligence Agency Chief of Disguise, watched spy scenes from a variety of films and television shows in order to break down how accurate they really are. From Jason Bourne finding his cache of passports and foreign currency to Carrie Mathison's (Homeland) half-assed "disguise" through airport security, Mendez doesn't hold back in her opinions and expertise.
During her 27-year career, her position in the CIA's Office of Technical Service involved providing operational disguises and alias training in hostile theaters of the Cold War from Moscow to Havana. Her duties included clandestine photography and preparing CIA assets with the use of intelligence-collecting equipment like spy cameras, as well as processing the information brought in.
Think "Q" — James Bond Q, not Star Trek…
Now retired, Mendez continues to consult with the U.S. Intelligence community as well as lecture with her husband Antonio Mendez, also a retired intelligence officer, with whom she has published several books about their covert experience including Spy Dust, which reveals "the tools and operations that helped win the Cold War," and Argo, which would become an Academy Award-winning film of the same name that told the story of "the most audacious rescue in history."
In the video below, Mendez lets her critiques fly. Check it out:
"Carrie's disguise, which basically consisted of dying her hair...was absolutely ineffective. She's still Carrie...but with dark hair. She could have cut her hair and restyled it. She could have changed her makeup. She could have put on sunglasses to hide that crazy-eyed look she has…" claps Mendez.
She then jumped to a scene from Alias where Jennifer Garner nails her disguise. "She didn't just dye her hair — she dyed it outrageously red and then adopted the whole persona to go with it. We could have used that as a training film!" she laughed.
Mendez moves on to Matthew Rhys' character in The Americans. "He was never trying to look good. He came really close to projecting 'the little gray man' that we would talk about at the CIA. You wanted to be forgettable," she commended.
Mendez then moves on to a "quick change," the name for a move where an agent clandestinely changes his appearance in 37 seconds. She commented on Mission Impossible III, and in particular discusses why Tom Cruise's "priest" would have been ethically off-limits.
From Megan Fox in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, to Ansel Elgort in Baby Driver, Mendez breaks down the "quick change" further — and also warns against stealing.
The video covers blending in with the crowd in James Bond — and CIA inventions that helps its agents remain discrete; being assigned a new identity in Spy; cultural customs in Inglorious Bastards; and life-like masks that cover the entire face in order to give the appearance of a completely different face.
The video is highly entertaining, not just because it grabs clips from iconic pop culture favorites (Austin Powers and Sherlock Holmes make appearances) but also because Joanna Mendez has a great, wry humor ("we never tried to disguise ourselves as furniture at the CIA...").Watch the full video above and find out what the CIA really thinks about black cat suits and seducing the enemy!