Going bald? Here are the 5 best military haircuts for you
As you progress in your military career, you find yourself struggling to maintain the era of your youth. The bones creak, the muscles ache, the skin sags and for some of us… the hair starts to go.
It is not easy going bald (trust me, I know) but for many men, it is a part of life that we have to come to terms with at some point… or maybe not.
For me, the loss was sudden. I joined the Marines late at the ripe old age of 24. At this point, I knew my hair was thinning, although it wasn't that bad. I figured I had a good six years or so before it was gone and didn't think much of it heading to boot camp. At boot camp, like everyone else, I had my head shaved every week.
But my journey at Parris Island took slightly longer than 13 weeks. I got dropped twice (once was because my arms got infected from so many sand flea bites). As soon as I got back into training, I got pneumonia in both lungs at the Crucible and was dropped again. By the time I graduated, I had been on the Island for five months. My last haircut was supposed to be the first "Marine" cut -- when you get the high and tight and start looking like a Marine and not a recruit.
But for me, that didn't quite work out. I sat in the chair and the barber buzzed the sides of my head, took a step back and started laughing. I was confused until I turned around. In the span of just five months, my hair … was… gone! Yup, it happened that fast.
Instead of a high and tight, I had what my Drill Instructors called a "low and loose," two strips on either side of my head. It was embarrassing and I asked if I could just shave my head. I was told that because I was bald, I could… but only after I left the Island. (To this day, I am convinced that they made up the last part because they wanted to mess with me).
When my mom saw me, she asked if my haircut was some type of crazy hazing the military did.
Needless to say, the minute I left Parris Island, I "Bic'd" my head.
In the end, it worked out. While I didn't have access to any hair loss products that worked, I learned rapidly that there was a benefit to being bald in the Marines.
Every Sunday, when all my buddies had to pull themselves out of bed and stumble into town to get haircuts, I slept in. While they waited in line for hours with everyone else, I went to the beach, downtown San Diego, bars and drove around enjoying my Sunday. On Monday morning, I grabbed my clippers, did a quick shave and headed to PT.
That being said, while hair loss is hair loss is preventable, there are options for when you lose your hair in the military. Some are good, some are… options.
Here are the 5 best haircuts you can get if you are going bald:
1. Horseshoe (and reverse shoe)
Other than the stripes on your collar, nothing says you are salty than breaking out the old horseshoe cut.
If you are suffering from male pattern baldness, this is the cut to go with (assuming it is allowed). Just shave the sides and allow the bald spot to turn into the "landing strip" that a B-52 can land on. The cut isn't for everyone, but if you are a senior enlisted that has been around the block and is saltier than the Dead Sea, this is the cut for you.
If you are a boot, this is not the way to go.
2. Low and loose
Yup, you can have my travesty of a haircut and just go with it provided you aren't actually bald yet like I was. For some of us, balding is just your hair slowly thinning away. While you can take steps to prevent baldness, you can also still rock your high and tight but with a little less on the top. The only issue you have to be aware of is the PONR (Point of No Return). If you have gone bald, there is a point where you just can't fake the funk anymore. The low and loose works until you get to that point. Then you just have to move on.
3. Low reg with a combover
The Recon or low reg works great if you are starting to thin from the front. What was usually the haircut of choice for the high-speed guys or the guys who couldn't wait to get out, the low reg is your path to still having a great head of hair. Just grow it out and comb it forward. It's easy, leaves you with a full head of hair (for now), and helps cover up the receding hairline. The only downside: You might incur the wrath of a First Sergeant or Sergeant Major who may not like the hippie-style haircut you are sporting.
4. Bruce Willis hold out
If you followed the career of Bruce Willis, you saw the gradual and dignified way he slowly went bald. No combover, no toupees, no hair plugs, no headbands (looking at you LeBron). He just slowly went bald and over the course of his career aged well. Now, the caveat to this is that he had a nice, even, slow receding hairline which for many of us, doesn't happen. But if you are a John McClane type, you can just go gracefully without having to do much. But eventually Bruce had to resort to Plan B, which was…..
Michael Jordan, Mike Tyson, Vin Diesel, Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson, Gandhi, Common, Britney Spears (jk), and many others have shown us that bald is beautiful. Shaving your head is easy, saves you money, and might make you look more badass than you were before.
When I lost mine, I realized that I actually looked better bald than with hair. Luckily, I have a nice shaped head. If you don't, then shaving might not be the best course of action and you need to find something else. But shaving your head saves you money on haircuts and shampoo, saves you time in the morning, makes you look hardcore and shows that you are ok with being who you are. If you got it, flaunt it.
Losing your hair isn't easy regardless if you have time like Bruce Willis or lose it pretty fast like me. You can always find a great solution to hair loss like Xcellerate35, and you can also find confidence in rocking out a great style that makes you feel great both in and out of uniform.