How Janet Jackson's nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition - We Are The Mighty
MIGHTY CULTURE

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

Back in the days before DVRs and movies on demand, what television networks aired really mattered. If something wasn’t on television, you didn’t watch it. If something really, really good was on, everyone was watching it. This was why ABC started the tradition of showing Saving Private Ryan every Veterans Day for nearly five years. It was really good, and everyone watched it.

Then one Super Bowl night, Janet Jackson’s privates changed the cultural landscape of the United States.


How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

None of us were prepared for what was about to happen.

It goes without saying (but I’m going to anyway) that Saving Private Ryan is easily one of the best – if not the best – war films ever made. Its realism is unmatched, and the Omaha Beach landings are so realistic, actual World War II veterans called it the most realistic they’d ever seen, it caused post-traumatic stress-related episodes in theaters, and the VA had to set up a hotline just for vets who were shook by the film.

Saving Private Ryan influenced every World War II film that came after it and sparked a resurgence in Americans’ waning interest in World War II and highlighted the declining numbers of surviving World War II veterans. So it makes sense that the ABC television network would decide to show the film every year on Veterans Day, uncut and with limited commercial interruptions. The profanity and combat scenes were left in their entirety on network television. All that changed after 2004.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

There are people in the post-9/11 U.S. that think this is the worst thing that ever happened to America.

On February 1st, 2004, Super Bowl XXXVIII saw the New England Patriots defeat the upstart Carolina Panthers. But no one remembers the score of the game because all anyone could talk about for the next decade was Janet Jackson’s right nipple. During the halftime show, a young Justin Timberlake joined Jackson on stage. At the end of their performance and the halftime show itself, Timberlake ripped off part of Jackson’s outfit, revealing her right breast to the millions of people who were watching for roughly half a second.

The backlash was immediate. The FCC tried to give CBS the largest fine it ever handed down. Jackson’s music was blacklisted from TV and radio worldwide, and the phrase “wardrobe malfunction” entered the American lexicon. More than that, politicians used the controversy to attempt to curtail material deemed inappropriate for general consumption on network television. Even Congress jumped on board. Watch New Mexico Representative and future Air Force Secretary Heather Wilson practically break down in tears over a half-second of Janet Jackson’s nipple.

Victims of the knee-jerk veer toward self-censorship included daytime soap operas, Bono, Howard Stern, the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, and more. By Veterans Day 2004, nine months later, the backlash had still not died down, and when it came time to show Saving Private Ryan in its traditional Veterans Day primetime slot, ABC affiliates began to balk. When the uncut version of the film began to air, a large chunk of ABC stations opted not to show the film – even though the Walt Disney Company offered to pay any FCC fines incurred by airing it.

Randy Sharp of the American Family Association, said that Ryan’s language — the f-word is used at least 20 times — is not suitable for children watching at 8 p.m. “It may be OK on the battlefield, but it’s not OK on the public airwaves during prime-time broadcast hours.”

Instead of seeing the greatest, most realistic war movie on Veterans Day, some people instead saw Return to Mayberry, a made-for-TV movie based on the Andy Griffith Show, where Andy, Opie, and Barney Fife solve the mystery of a local lake monster.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

Cool.

There was no fallout from airing Saving Private Ryan – at least, not from the Federal government. The end result was that ABC no longer shows the film every Veterans Day. At a time when the United States was fighting two wars – Afghanistan and Iraq – and still reeling from the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks, a half-second of what is now the world’s most famous nipple was enough to distract the country from nearly everything else.

MIGHTY CULTURE

This heroic Navy SEAL now works to save working dogs

You probably know the name James Hatch — or maybe you’ve heard of Jimmy Hatch. He’s famous for one of the worst days of his life. The Navy SEAL was on one of the ill-fated missions to rescue Bowe Bergdahl after the soldier walked off of his base in Afghanistan. This mission resulted in the death of a military canine and left Hatch with a crippling wound to his leg.


This is what happens when a SEAL brings a dog to an elementary school.

youtu.be

Now, Hatch is working to help working dogs, especially police and military dogs, stay safe on the job.

The Spikes K9 Fund, named for Hatch’s first working dog, a SEAL dog that died during a mission in Iraq in 2006, runs campaigns that each focus on a particular need of working dogs.

The Piper Campaign focuses on cold-weather gear and is named for a dog that kept wildlife safely away from planes, even when the snow was a foot deep on the ground. The Diesel Campaign covers medical expenses for wounded or retired working dogs. And the Krijger Campaign raises money for ballistic vests for dogs, vests that might have saved Hatch’s dogs, Spike and Remco.

Remco was the dog working with Hatch on the mission to rescue Bergdahl. He was tragically lost to insurgent gunfire on the mission.

The fund says that it has helped 710 dogs so far, and that’s no small feat. Ballistics vests for dogs can easily cost over ,000, and veterinary services for wounded, injured, and retired dogs can quickly become quite pricy as well. But dogs save lives in combat situations, so saving the dogs can help save police officer lives.

And the fund has had some high-profile successes, including when they convinced Anderson Cooper to not only donate himself, but also to speak and get others to open their wallets.

The video at top tells the story of a dog that was shot in the line of duty, but was able to go back to work with a vest provided by the students of an elementary school.

You can learn more about Hatch and his efforts at spikesk9fund.org.

MIGHTY TACTICAL

Reaper shoots down another drone in a little-known test

An MQ-9 Reaper drone has bagged its first air-to-air kill of another small, aerial vehicle in a controlled simulation, an official revealed to Military.com.

The successful test in 2017 showed the U.S. Air Force that an unmanned vehicle like the MQ-9 has the ability to conduct air-to-air combat, much like its manned fighter brethren such as an F-15 Eagle or F-22 Raptor, according to Col. Julian Cheater, commander of the 432nd Wing at Creech Air Force Base, Nevada.


“Something that’s unclassified but not well known, we recently in November … launched an air-to-air missile against a maneuvering target that scored a direct hit,” Cheater said. Military.com sat down with Cheater here at the Air Force Association Air, Space and Cyber conference outside Washington, D.C.

“It was an MQ-9 versus a drone with a heat-seeking air-to-air missile, and it was direct hit … during a test,” he said of the first-of-its-kind kill.

“We develop those tactics, techniques and procedures to make us survivable in those types of environments and, if we do this correctly, we can survive against some serious threats against normal air players out there,” Cheater said on Sept. 17, 2018. “We will go participate in ‘Red Flag’ exercises, and we will drop weapons in testing environments to make sure that we can fight against those type of adversaries.”

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

An MQ-9 Reaper drone.

The effort is key to preparing for the next big aerial war against near-peer threats such as Russia or China, who are advancing their skill sets not only in unmanned aerial vehicles but also in hypersonics, electronic warfare, lasers, and missile testing, Cheater said.

“In many parts of the world, it’s almost a hybrid fight by proxy,” he said. “… the MQ-9 Reaper will certainly be a big part of that. So if you package this aircraft in properly with other aircraft, it will be survivable.”

The MQ-9 has a payload of 3,750 pounds and carries a combination of AGM-114 Hellfire missiles and GBU-12 Paveway II and GBU-38 Joint Direct Attack Munitions, according to the service. The MQ-9’s weapons load remains flexible, Cheater said.

As the Air Force began phasing out its MQ-1 Predator UAV in 2017 before its official retirement in early 2018, the larger, more lethal MQ-9 began expanding its mission set — especially in areas like Afghanistan.

For example, when the military mission in Afghanistan transitioned from Operation Enduring Freedom to the NATO-led Resolute Support, the MQ-9’s missions increased tenfold in comparison to the MQ-1.

The Reaper conducted 950 strikes, firing approximately 1,500 weapons, between January 2015 and August 2017, according to Air Force Central Command statistics provided to Military.com at the time. The MQ-1 executed only 35 strikes, employing roughly 30 weapons, in that same timeframe.

“We specialize in urban settings,” Cheater said. “That is an important capability that very few aircraft and aircrews have.”

But 2017’s test shows how the service is refocusing and thinking about the agility of the Reaper.

“It’s a balance of the forces and resources that we have available, especially on the maintenance side of the house, and everyone wanting to be as close to the fight in numerous locations,” Cheater said.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

An MQ-1 Predator.

For example, “We can fly from one continent to the next — we [recently] flew nine [Reapers] from one operating area to another, and that is agile, that is flexible, and it provides options to the combatant commander,” he said, without disclosing locations.

The Air Force also recently moved a contingent of MQ-9s to Larisa Air Base in Greece for intelligence, surveillance, and reconnaissance missions across Africa, according to Defense News. Without commenting on additional locations, Cheater said forward movement will always be part of the MQ-9’s future, especially with intelligence gathering on the rise.

“We’re ‘can-do’ operators by heart, and we want to look at it and see what’s the best option,” he said. “Generally, the resources don’t support everything we want to do, so we have to figure out what’s the best mix and match of those resources to achieve the desire and best end result.”

More study is needed to address the best places to base the drones for forward-operating missions, Cheater said.

In addition, the future of drone feed dissemination and intelligence gathering is becoming more streamlined as part of the Air Force’s Next Generation Intelligence, Surveillance, and Reconnaissance Dominance Flight Plan, he said.

The plan, released in August 2018 with few specifics for operational security reasons, has become the service’s new road map to incorporating more autonomy and data from multiple sensors across platforms stationed around the globe. “We can determine if there [are] threats or indications of enemy forces,” Cheater said.

The Air Force wants to leverage artificial intelligence, automation and algorithmic data models to streamline opportunities for airmen watching drone feeds.

“We’re actually pretty exceptional as far as adopting new technologies and putting it in combat operations right now,” he said.

This article originally appeared on Military.com. Follow @militarydotcom on Twitter.

MIGHTY TACTICAL

Spiders will help produce the newest military uniforms

Military uniforms have been made from a variety of fabrics over the years: Cotton, wool, polyester blends… all have had their turn as what uniforms are made of. Now a new spin on one of the oldest fabrics could come into play.


That fabric, of course, is silk, which first entered the scene in China almost four millennia ago. Only this isn’t the silk that is used for the high-fashion dresses you see on the red carpet. That is from silkworms. According to a report from Marketplace.org, this silk is from spiders.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
A female spider wraps her prey in silk. (Wikimedia Commons)

Okay, before you get carried away – no, this is not quite like the Spider-Man suits. The key, though is that the spider silk is strong. It has to be. Spider silk makes webs, which spiders usually use to catch food.

There’s just one problem. You need a lot of spiders to make silk, and spider’s just don’t get along with each other. We’re not talking things that can be worked out. Face it, when the critters you are counting on to produce material try to eat each other, productivity’s gonna be taking a nosedive. That doesn’t get the uniforms made.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
A small piece of artificial spider silk produced in a lab. (Wikimedia Commons)

So, the answer has been to genetically engineer silkworms to produce spider silk. This is not the only method in operation. Michigan State University researchers have figured out how to make a silk-like product from the deoxyribonucleic acid, or DNA, of spiders, and DNA sequencing is becoming much cheaper than it was in the past.

Either way, the material that is produced will have far more applications than the Kevlar used in the uniforms of present day. The spider silk could also be used to make protective underwear as well as improved body armor. That’s good news for the troops.

MIGHTY TRENDING

Now we know why Kim Jong-un killed his brother

Kim Jong Nam was the heir apparent to the world’s only dynastic Communist regime. His fall from grace came when he was apprehended in Japan trying to get into Disneyland Tokyo. Since then, the son of the late Kim Jong-Il and half-brother to current North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un was stripped of his inheritance and eventually exiled, paving the way for Kim Jong-un’s rise to power. Even that came to an end.


Kim Jong-Nam was assassinated in a Malaysian airport in 2017, under the guise of a prank, with VX nerve agent. And now we know why – he was informing the CIA.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

The avid gambler was sprayed in the face with the toxic agent and would die after a seizure before he could ever reach the hospital. VX is the most potent of all nerve agents. Colorless and odorless, it will trigger symptoms in seconds if inhaled. It can cause paralysis, convulsions, loss of consciousness, respiratory failure, and death. Kim Jong Nam was dead within minutes of his exposure. Two women approached him on his way home to China and rubbed their hands on his face.

Worst of all, Kim was carrying atropine autoinjectors on his person at the time, an indication that he was expecting such an attack from his younger brother. Reports indicate that Kim Jong Nam had been marked for death for at least five years – since his brother first took power.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

Kim Jong-un came to power in 2012 after the death of Kim Jong-Il.

Now, the Wall Street Journal reports the reason why Kim Jong Nam was doomed to die was his cooperation with the American Central Intelligence Agency. For years, Kim regularly met with agents and contacts in the CIA, though the exact details on the nature of his relationship to the agency are unclear. Since Kim Jong Nam had been exiled from the Hermit Kingdom for more than a decade, what he could tell the CIA about the situation in Pyongyang is not known. The Wall Street Journal added that Kim was likely in contact with intelligence agencies from other countries, especially China’s.

Kim’s purpose for going to Malaysia was to meet with a Korean-American businessman, suspected of being a CIA operative himself, on the resort island of Langkawi. After his killing, members of his family were taken from Macau by North Korean dissident groups and are now in hiding.

Humor

6 funny things most infantrymen lie about

Serving in the infantry is, basically, one huge d*ck-measuring contest. Everybody, man or woman, wants to be the best at every aspect of their job.


Every day at work, infantry try to impress everyone in the squad. Day-in, and day-out, for some reason — as veterans, we’re still not sure why we tried so hard to do that.

Anyway, we lie about little things we don’t think anyone will be able to prove. However, once someone manages to call out the bullsh*t, the excuses come rolling in.

Related: If you need a spouse, this is what the Marines would issue

1. The reason why they expended 200 rounds during a firefight when they clearly couldn’t see the enemy.

Grunts can be trigger happy. They enjoy firing their weapons at the bad guys, hoping to score a solid kill shot, even if it means expending 90% of their ammo. Half the time, the ground pounders don’t get a clear line of sight on enemy movement from ground level.

But they still pull the trigger.

2. Why they shot so poorly at the range.

Not every infantryman is a crack shot. When you’re competing for bragging rights throughout the platoon and you don’t win, excuses are made.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

3. How many girls they’ve been with prior to joining the military.

All grunts were ladies men before they signed on the dotted line. It’s incredible how joining takes all their mojo away.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
This guy is the real Ladies Man, and he’s not joining the infantry anytime soon. (Paramount)

4. How muscularly toned they once were before joining the infantry.

The average grunt is around 19-ish. So, it’s pretty hard to believe that your body’s metabolism has changed so quickly that you lost your muscle density.

5. About all of their outstanding achievements before shipping off to boot camp.

It’s okay, not everyone can be a high school football or wrestling star.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
These guys are football stars and they aren’t in the infantry — yet.

Also Read: 5 popular debates Marines are passionate about

6. How many MOS options they had, but they chose the infantry.

Boy-oh-boy can young infantrymen dream.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

Articles

This is what jail is like on an aircraft carrier

Most sailors who go out on deployment don’t get into trouble. Others may find themselves on the wrong side of the shore patrol, though. Much of that can be minor, and is usually addressed with a loss of pay, or placing a sailor on restriction. But in some cases, that sailor needs to be confined.


Now, when you’re deployed to the Middle East, Mediterranean, or some other hot spot, it’s hard to ship the guy (or gal) back to the States to lock them up. So, on carriers and other large ships, the jail is brought with them – and it’s called the brig.

And in case you think that an upcoming battle earns some leeway for misbehavior, you’d best keep in mind that heading towards a fight won’t keep a sailor from getting tossed in the brig. In the book “Miracle at Midway,” historian Gordon Prange related how Marc Mitscher, captain of the aircraft carrier USS Hornet (CV 8), threw a couple of sailors in the brig for minor infractions prior to the Battle of Midway.

In many cases where that is necessary, the sailors are sent to the brig after what is known as a “Captain’s Mast,” which is covered under Article 15 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. According to Naval Orientation, the amount of time someone may be confined is limited. The exact limits depend on the rank of the commanding officer and the rank of the accused. The chart below from the linked manual explains those limits.

 

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
(Scanned from US Navy publication)

The video clip below is from the 2008 documentary mini-series “Carrier,” produced by Mel Gibson’s production company. It provides a tour of the brig on the nuclear-powered aircraft carrier USS Nimitz (CVN 68) as it was in 2005.

MIGHTY HISTORY

This Medal of Honor recipient was the Navy’s first ace-in-a-day

Navy Lt. Cmdr. Edward H. “Butch” O’Hare was a pioneer of Navy aviation, establishing the Navy’s first night fighter squadron, earning a Medal of Honor and ace-in-a-day status, and probably saving American carrier USS Lexington before his tragic death during a night battle in November, 1943.


How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

The senior Edward O’Hare was murdered by the Al Capone gang while driving home.

O’Hare was the son of a St. Louis, Missouri, businessman with ties to Al Capone’s gang. His father put in a good word to get the younger O’Hare into the U.S. Naval Academy, which led to his being trained as an aviator.

During his training, his father turned against Capone after the events of the Valentine’s Day Massacre and passed financial documents to the IRS. Capone was eventually convicted, but put a hit out on O’Hare’s father. Then-Ensign O’Hare took a break from training to attend his father’s funeral, but went on to earn his wings 18 months before the Pearl Harbor attacks. He earned a reputation as a skilled aviator before America entered World War II.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

Edward O’Hare as a pilot during World War II as a lieutenant. He rose to the rank of lieutenant commander and helped create night aviation procedures for the Navy before his death during the war.

(U.S. Navy)

His first engagement came near the Pacific island of Rabaul while his wing was temporarily assigned to the USS Lexington. A patrolling submarine spotted waves of Japanese “Betty” bombers heading for the Lexington’s task force on February 20, 1942. Fighters took to the air, and O’Hare and his wingman were the last pair to get airborne.

While the first fighters to take off dealt with the first wave of bombers, a second wave closed in and the O’Hare pair were the only fighters in position to attack. They did a quick test fire of their weapons. O’Hare had four working guns, but his wingman couldn’t fire.

And so O’hare was left facing either eight or nine attacking bombers — accounts differ — with only his F4F Wildcat protecting the carrier. He had just a few minutes to interrupt the enemy attack.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

The USS Lexington was America’s second carrier and a legend in World War II. But it likely would have been destroyed early in the war if it weren’t for Lt. Cmdr. Edward H. O’Hare.

(U.S. Navy)

O’Hare zipped into position and focused his first attack on two bombers trailing on the right side of the enemy formation, downing both with quick, accurate bursts from his four .50-cal. Browning machine guns against their engines and fuel tanks. By the time he had downed the second bomber, he had overtaken the formation so he wheeled back around and came up the left side.

This time, he hit the rearmost plane with shots to the starboard engine that sent it wheeling toward the sea. O’Hare attacked again, slaughtering a fourth plane and crew with shots through the left wing and cockpit.

It had been only moments, and approximately half of the enemy formation had hit the water or was on its way. But that still left about four bombers heading to Lady Lex. So, O’Hare went in for a third attack pass as the fight drew into range of the Lex’s guns.

He sent a burst into the trail plane and then sent more rounds at the lead plane of the formation, knocking one of its engines off.

The kills had come so fast and furious that officers on the Lexington would later report seeing three fireballs heading for the ocean at once.

Between O’Hare and shipboard gunners, only two of the Japanese “Bettys” were still alive to drop their bombs, and none of the bombs managed to damage the carrier at all. O’Hare would claim six kills from the engagement, but he would only get credited with five. Either way, that took him from zero kills to fighter ace in a single engagement. This made him the Navy’s second fighter ace and its first ace-in-a-day as the service’s air arm was young and relatively small in World War I.

O’Hare tried to eschew glory for his success, but the U.S. was hungry for a hero in the months after Pearl Harbor and a series of U.S. defeats. The young pilot was summoned to Washington D.C. to receive the Medal of Honor, then he was sent to fill an instructor slot to pass on his knowledge to others.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

F6F Hellcats were strong successors to the F4F Wildcat and they allowed naval pilots to become more lethal against Japanese forces.

(U.S. Navy)

But that couldn’t keep O’Hare engaged, and he returned to combat in 1943, this time flying the Wildcat’s stronger successor, the F6F Hellcat. In just a few months during the latter half of 1943, O’Hare earned two Distinguished Flying Crosses, one for an attack on Japanese forces on Marcus Island where he and his flight destroyed all aircraft on the ground and approximately 80 percent of ground installations, and another for an attack against Wake Island installations where the flight downed three enemies in the air and destroyed planes and installations on the ground.

But the American forces were vulnerable deep in the Pacific, and O’Hare was tasked with finding a way to stop Japanese dusk attacks had allowed damage to the USS Independence. His proposal to create three-plane teams with two Hellcats and a radar-equipped Avenger was quickly adopted. The carriers would detect enemy planes first and vector the fighter in until the Avenger could detect the targets.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

In this 1951 photo, the plane closest to the camera is an Avenger, the plane that O’Hare paired with F6F Hellcats in order to make them more effective at dusk and in the early night. The rest of the planes on the deck are F8F Bearcats, successors to the Hellcat.

(U.S. Navy)

O’Hare referred to them as the “Black Panthers” and often went aloft with them. On November 26, 1943, he went up to help disrupt an attack by more Japanese Bettys. The flight was able to shoot down one bomber and then the Hellcats worked to get back in line with the Avenger.

Right as the Hellcats returned to the Avenger, though, a Japanese plane slipped in behind them and sent a burst through O’Hare’s plane. The tail gunner in the Avenger downed the attacker, but O’Hare and his plane slipped away into the dark and crashed into the water.

He was never found again, but did receive a posthumous Navy Cross for his contributions to Navy night fighting. Chicago’s O’Hare airport is named for him. One of his top subordinates and wingmen was Lt. j.g. Alex Vraciu, who ended the war as the Navy’s fourth top ace.

Coincidentally, Vraciu earned six of his kills in a single engagement after taking off from the USS Lexington, copying O’Hare’s claimed feat from 1942.

MIGHTY CULTURE

Why you should never touch something that’s ‘red or dusty’

It’s one of the oldest sayings in aviation circles: “If it’s red or dusty, don’t touch it.” It seems obvious enough not to touch buttons or switches when you don’t know what they actually do, so how did this axiom become so common? Older planes with less intelligent avionics apparently had to be safeguarded against human error.

Still, accidents happen… because some people just have to touch the red button.


How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

Some people…

Planes from the Vietnam Era such as the F4 Phantom and others, even those entering service much later, like the AH-64 Apache helicopter featured red buttons and switches with red, protective coverings to prevent maintainers and pilots from accidentally pushing or switching them. The reason is they perform critical functions that should only be used when the situation calls for it.

For example, there’s no off-label reason to jettison your fuel tanks on the tarmac, as it turns out. This is the kind of prevention the color red is ideal for. Dusty switches are just controls that might be less obvious but are rarely if ever actually used.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

You probably shouldn’t jettison anything while on the ground.

In Air Force flight school, new pilots are instructed, “don’t f*ck with the switches with red guards.” These control irreversible and potentially deadly functions in the cockpit, things that could really ruin any pilot’s day if accidentally toggled without reason. Often they are to be used in emergency situations only. This isn’t only for the pilots, but also for maintainers and anyone else who might be sitting in the cockpit while untrained or unsure of what they’re doing.

The military tries to make everything perfectly idiot proof, but the combination of complex controls with a high operations tempo can make anyone tense enough to make mistakes, cut corners, or just accidentally pour jet fuel everywhere you don’t want it to go. This phrase may have originated in the Vietnam War to keep new, potentially drafted troops aware of what they were doing and where they were doing it, to keep going through their lists and stations, even when the “Rapid Roger” tempo was very high.

Humor

11 memes that will make you want to join the Navy

Technically, there are five branches of service to choose from if you’re thinking about joining the military (including the Coast Guard). There’s a high level of rivalry among branches that can spark a lot of friendly sh*t talking. As veterans, we still love to take cheap shots at one another — but it’s always in good fun.

We’ve said it time-and-time again that the military has a dark sense of humor and we flex those comedic muscles at the other branches as often as possible. Since the U.S. Navy is hands-down the most dominant force to ever patrol the high seas, sailors do things that no other branch can do: kick ass while floating in the middle of nowhere.

The Army and the Air Force can’t compete with the Navy since they have no ships. The Marines can’t conduct business without the Navy navigating them around the world. Lastly, The Coast Guard is a bunch of land-hugging puddle jumpers.

Since we managed to sh*t talk to everyone (in good fun), it’s time to nail each of them, once again, through memes making you reconsider why you didn’t join the Navy instead.


How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

No matter how badass and powerful you might think you are, remember, the U.S. Navy is way freakin’ bigger… and they’re coming for you.

Also read: 9 examples of the military’s dark humor

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

Navymemes.com

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
MIGHTY MOVIES

The 7 best military stories from the glory days of ‘Unsolved Mysteries’

Anyone over the age of 25 was likely forever scarred by the combination of a creepy TV theme song and the voice of a classic film actor telling us about how we could be living our normal lives one moment, and then suddenly be abducted by aliens, shot by a stranger, or murdered by ghosts the next.


How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
FYI I want to be portrayed by Matthew McConaughey in the reenactment of my murder.

Once you join the military, you might think you’re safe from being a walking potential story on Unsolved Mysteries. But you’d be wrong. The best you can really hope for is a quicker “update” segment.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
Feel free to read this in the voice you hear in your nightmares.

1. Paul Whipkey

In Season 3, Episode 21, Unsolved Mysteries showed the story of Lt. Paul Whipkey, a promising young officer whose health was affected by the atomic testing projects he worked on. One day, he decided to drive to Monterey, Calif., just one mile from his base at Fort Ord. He disappeared and was never seen again.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

His car was found abandoned in the middle of Death Valley. The Army says he was stressed about his assignment so he left the car and walked into the desert, where he likely died. His family and friends obviously take exception to this theory for a number of reasons.

First, the Army declared him a deserter and didn’t even begin searching for him or his body for eight months. His commander remembered Lt. Whipkey talking with plainclothes officials. The men had IDs but did not show which agency they represented. Whipkey then alluded to a career move, where he would “make a name for himself,” just before he disappeared.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
Seems legit.

Just 11 days later, Whipkey’s best friend Lt. Charlie Guess died in a plane crash, where his remains were found among plane wreckage different from the tail number of the plane he took off in.

Whipkey’s car was seen by locals after his disappearance, but it was driven by a man in uniform, which Whipkey was not wearing when he left the base. And next to the car was found was a pile of cigarette butts. Paul Whipkey did not smoke.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

His family and friends believe Paul was recruited by the CIA to go one secret operations and that he likely died in the CIA’s service.

2. Edward Zakrzewski

This one was a pretty straightforward case, but when it first aired on the sixth episode of Unsolved Mysteries‘ seventh season, former USAF Tech. Sgt. Edward Zakzrewski was featured as a fugitive, wanted for the murder of his wife and two kids.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

Zakzrewski and his wife were living in Fort Walton Beach, Fla. when she was found murdered to death on June 13, 1994 (according the the show, she was stabbed but the newspapers say she was bludgeoned with a crowbar). The two had been having marital problems and she was planning to leave him.

This story was creepy as hell when it first aired, but…

UPDATE:

He fled to Hawaii and turned himself in after the family he was staying saw his story the night it aired. As of 2016 he’s been on death row for 20 years.

3. Justin Bergwinkel

In season 7, episode 19, Unsolved Mysteries told us about Justin Bergwinkel, who went AWOL from the Army and was never seen again. He began language training for the Army Rangers, but washed out of the program before being sent to Fort Ord, California, where he became a cook.

He began dating a local student, Iolanda Antunes, and all seemed well for the most part. Until it wasn’t. He would drive to visit her but would randomly say he had to return to base. Other times, he would be bizarrely secretive about a briefcase he was always carrying.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
You know you messed up when Robert Stack narrated your life.

Justin was soon transferred to Washington State, but would still come visit Iolanda. After Iolanda received a strange call telling Justin “the mission is off” he suddenly went back to his duty station. Things seemed to calm down. His parents were getting calls where he claimed to be doing well and that everything was fine. I think you can guess that things were not fine.

Burgwinkel purchased two handguns at this time, along 100 rounds of ammunition. On Friday, June 4, 1993, he failed to report for duty at 0430. He was declared AWOL but was not hiding. He called his duty section from Iolanda’s apartment. He called his parents and told them he was working and not AWOL – he was doing something important.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
We’re all thinking about the same thing, right? Get your hands out of your pockets?

Eight days later, he left Iolanda’s apartment and never came back. He only ever alluded to the movie White Sands, a film about gunrunning, and then disappeared. His car was abandoned at a beachfront motel near Monterrey, where it had been for three months.

The briefcase with his wallet, car keys, and military ID were found in the trunk. He did not stay at the motel.

4. Chad Langford

The story of Spc. Langford was featured in Season 5, Episode 20. Langford was an MP stationed at the Redstone Arsenal in Alabama. On a pretty normal night, he was doing his usual patrol of the base when he radioed for assistance. When backup arrived, they found his radio, armband, and ID in the middle of the road. Down the street, Langford’s near-lifeless body was found outside his patrol car, shot in the head.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
His hat wasn’t in his mouth, but Unsolved Mysteries says it was.

Langford’s sidearm lanyard was wrapped around his ankles, the radar cable around his neck, handcuffs on his left wrist, and his sidearm under his left shoulder. He died later that evening. The Army ruled it a suicide.

His family was outraged. Langford’s father Jim said he claimed to be doing undercover anti-drug stings for the Army. Fellow soldiers told Army criminal investigators that Chad was the ringleader of an attempt to rob the PX. The Army also maintained he was hurt about a recent breakup with his girlfriend and changed his lifestyle to fit a different narrative before taking his own life.

But his girlfriend says the breakup was initiated by Chad because his work was too much for him to share with her. When she last saw him, he was wearing different “gang-style” clothes and hanging with “unsavory” characters.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
Gang-style.

Chad’s family believes the evidence at the scene doesn’t match the Army’s story and that certain evidence, such as fingerprints and bullets to match the shell casings on the scene, was never found.

Though the Army reviewed the case after the broadcast, Chad Langford’s death remains officially a suicide.

5. Mark Dennis

In 1966, Corpsman Mark Dennis left Ohio for Vietnam. He thought it would be good for his future as a missionary. Dong Ha, Mark’s station, was a hotspot at the time. In July of that year, he was on a helicopter that was shot down with only three survivors. Mark was not one of them. The Navy suggested they not view his remains due to the condition of his body.

On Nov. 30, 1970, Newsweek published a photo of an unknown POW…one that looked just like Mark Dennis.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
You be the judge.

But the Navy determined it was someone else, a POW already documented. When the family requested his Navy death certificate, they found that Mark’s body was the only one not positively identified because it was burned beyond recognition. It was deemed Mark though the process of elimination.

That’s when Steve Wilcox, a Navy dental tech who was friends with Mark in boot camp, told the family of a friend from Mark’s unit. This friend told Wilcox that neither his corpsman material nor his dog tags were found in the crash and that there weren’t 13 bodies recovered.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
Actual photos of the helicopter crash.

The Dennis family then exhumed the body. The remains were covered by his uniform, and then a blanket. Pinned to the blanket was his dog tags, as per regulation. When his brother (a fire expert) examined the dog tag, he found them to be brand new and the burn markings inconsistent with a crash burn.

A privately-funded forensic analysis of the remains show a man five inches shorter than Mark Dennis. Furthermore, the body in the coffin was not burned by JP-4 fuel, but with regular gasoline. The family and his unit believe Mark never died that day.

Mark Dennis was not repatriated with other POWs when the war ended in 1973.

6. David Cox

This one is the true story of William Alvarado, who was nearly killed during a hazing incident, known as a “code red” for writing a Senator about Marine misconduct. You may recognize this story from A Few Good Men, because that’s movie based on these events.

The squad leader, David Cox, was convicted only of simple assault, claiming he was following an “implied order” from a superior officer. When the movie came out, he felt he was maligned in the film – after all, in real life, no one died. He and other Marines filed a lawsuit against the filmmakers.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
The Marines were understandably pissed.

As time passed, David moved in with his girlfriend and was hoping to get a job at UPS. That’s when he disappeared. One day, his girlfriend came home to find all the doors open, an uncashed paycheck in his truck, keys in the ignition, and a gun in the glove box.

Four months later, his body was found five miles from his apartment, cash and credit cards in his wallet. He was shot four times, execution style, while wearing his Marine Corps jacket (which he never wore). Investigators believe he knew his killer and went along willingly.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
This is why I don’t hike.

David’s mother warned he was too outspoken about U.S. activities in Cuba, especially in his high-profile days following the release of A Few Good Men. His former defense attorney believes his murder was related to the military, given the proximity to hunting ranges (where gunshots would be normal), and his choice of military attire.

The murder remains unsolved.

7. Joe O’Brien

Season 8, episode 1 brought us the story of Joe O’Brien, who had a vivid dream about being held prisoner in a cold cell, with only a striped blanket. His wrists were in terrible pain and even when he woke up, he found his hands sore and red.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
Joe couldn’t even pick up a coffee cup the next day.

Joe was worried about his friend Mohammed “Sammy” Mubarak, a Kuwaiti fighter pilot who was fighting in Operation Desert Storm. In the weeks following his vivid dream, Iraq surrendered.

Sammy came to visit Joe over Christmas the following year. Joe told Sammy of his strange dream and how the pain stayed with him for so long. Sammy told Joe his dream was Sammy’s reality – Sammy was held prisoner by the Iraqis on the same day.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
The handcuffs cut his wrists and made them bleed for five days.

Everything Joe saw in his dream, from the hand pain to the pattern of the blanket, was what Sammy lived as a POW.

Lists

5 questions you can use to challenge stolen valor dirtbags

Service members come from every walk of life. Just because someone doesn’t walk around looking like Mat Best, doesn’t mean they’re not a veteran. Even if someone walks around in a perfectly squared away uniform, it doesn’t mean they’re a veteran. Stolen Valor dirtbags have probably figured out how to use Google.


If you’re uncertain whether someone is really in the military or faking it, talk to them. Google will only help them out so far. Pull them aside and ask them a few questions, calm and collected, so they’re off-guard. Bear in mind, if they fail a question, they may still have served. Traumatic brain injury and dementia are common among veterans. If you’re giving hell to the guy who can barely remember his daughter’s name because of an IED in Iraq – you are the dirtbag.

The trick is to catch them playing along with a lie you made up. Praise something that doesn’t exist and if they latch on hoping to get your approval, they’re full of sh*t. Add in minute details that should set off red flags if they don’t look at you’re crazy. From there, it’s up to you. I, personally, recommend just shaming them into going back home and changing out of the uniform of good men and women. You do whatever you see fit.

“That’s impressive, I heard about the serious fighting in Atropia, Iraq. Were you there?”

For some reason, no one ever pretends to be a part of the 97% of the military that are POGs. Stolen valor dirtbags always go big. If you make up some random place that sounds vaguely foreign in Iraq or Afghanistan, they won’t know that the place doesn’t exist.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
The people of Krasnovia didn’t deserve the hell brought to their homes —mostly because the people of Krasnovia don’t exist.

“How long did it take you to make insert a rank not indicated by their uniform?”

Memorizing very important details is hard for dirtbags. Specifically, details like believing you can make E-7 in three years. Added bonus if they don’t correct you on saying the rank incorrectly.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
Must have sucked making Command Sgt. Maj. after 90 years. (Image via Quora)

“Did you ever serve with my buddy Wagner? Man, I can’t remember what that dude kept going on about loving…”

If there’s one thing you can always count on is civilians not truly understanding the real size and scope of the military. With over 2.2 million troops in the United States Armed Forces, there’s no possible way to know every single person serving.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
Stay woke. (Image via Imgur)

“Oh nice! What was basic training/boot camp like? Were the Drill Sergeants/Instructors mean?”

Soldiers do not go through boot camp. Marines do not go through basic training. To civilians, they’re used interchangeably.

If you intentionally mix them up, and they don’t politely correct you or immediately look at you like you’re an idiot, you got ’em.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

If they’re in a dress uniform: “That ribbon is nice. Did you get it for -whatever-?”

According to basic human psychology, liars always elaborate their stories to try and make their story seem more believable. If you point higher up on the ribbon rack, those can be awarded for some insane things. But it’s the lesser awards that are basically handed out for not messing up anything. When you point to, say, the Global War on Terrorism Service Medal and they say it’s for saving their platoon: laugh.

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
It’d be believable if this dude said he won it from a pie-eating contest.

Articles

7 pictures you won’t see in a recruiting brochure

Military brochures are colorful and glossy, full of awesome pictures showing service members doing some really cool stuff. These pictures usually feature troops flying in helicopters, firing weapons, riding in amphibious assault vehicles, jumping from aircraft, and traveling the world.


There is no question a military career can be very exciting. However, just like any other profession, there can be some mundane tasks that seem unusual and flat-out odd. This is especially true in the military. Here are 7 pictures you won’t see in a military recruiting brochure.

1. Area Beautification (Operation Clean Sweep)

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
Sgt. Bridgett Gomez, Headquarters and Headquarters Company and Pvt. Joshua Barker, Company D, 1st Attack Reconnaissance Battalion, 82nd Combat Aviation Brigade, rake through the remaining sand of the volleyball court outside their barracks after removing large clumps of grass in preparation of new sand, March 16. (Photo by U.S. Army Sgt. April D. de Armas, 82nd Combat Aviation Brigade Public Affairs)

This detail is very common throughout U.S. military bases around the world. One of the most well-known area beatification events happens in the home of the U.S. Army Airborne and Special Operations at Fort Bragg, N.C. Each May, thousands of personnel take part in “Operation Clean Sweep,” an extravagant term simply meaning a post-wide clean-up effort in preparation for the 82nd’s Airborne All-American Week, a week-long celebration of the famed division.

During Clean Sweep, Soldiers don their PT belts, grab their rakes, and gas up the lawn mowers to bring the “fight” to overgrown weeds, nasty cigarette butts, spit bottles and other items that would make your grandma blush. You can see why these images don’t make for exciting marketing products.

2. Cleaning the Barracks (GI Party)

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
Marines with Marine Corps Air Station Miramar and the 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing pick up trash during a station-wide cleanup aboard MCAS Miramar, California, April 20. They also conducted a cleanup alongside major roadways bordering the air station.

This is one party you don’t want to be invited to. Service members living in the barracks are used to hearing the expression “G.I. party,” a term originally used during World War II to clean up the living quarters.

This detail has service members cleaning the hell out of the barracks in preparation for an inspection. So grab the buffer, gather the Simple Green, and get the trash bags, it’s party time!

3. Painting Things

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
1st Lt. Edwin Roman paints steps in barracks 4295 at Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point, N.C., Nov. 25, 2014. Staff noncommissioned officers and officers of Marine Air Control Group 28 cleaned and renovated the barracks in an effort to give back to the Marines during the holiday season. The Marines worked on various projects including, painting, landscaping and fixing furniture. Roman is a communications officer with Marine Air Support Squadron 1.

Put a paint brush in the hands of a military member and they will paint anything. Whether it is painting rocks, trees, the walls at the barracks, or curbs on the road, military commands always have tons of paint cans around, keeping the good folks at DuPont very happy.

4. Chute Shake

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
U.S. Army paratroopers from Bravo Battery, 2nd Battalion, 319th Airborne Field Artillery Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division clear debris from used parachutes before hanging them at Fort Bragg, N.C., Oct. 23, 2008. The parachutes were used the night prior during a joint forcible entry exercise (JFEX), a joint airdrop designed to enhance service cohesiveness between Army and Air Force personnel by training to execute large-scale heavy equipment and troop movements. (DoD photo by Tech. Sgt. Jeremy T. Lock)

Remember all the fun you had as a child, shaking the rainbow colored parachute during gym class. While this is not that kind of parachute shake, “shaking chutes” is one of the worst details in the Airborne community. It can sometimes take an entire night, where personnel spend their time in a tower hanging hundreds of chutes, untangling lines that are in massive knots, and taking out weeds and debris caught on the parachute after dragging a Paratrooper across the drop zone. This detail makes you appreciate your childhood.

5. Swabbing the Deck

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
Sailors scrub the flight deck aboard the aircraft carrier USS Ronald Reagan following a countermeasure wash down while the ship is operating off the coast of Japan. The Ronald Reagan is operating off the coast of Japan providing humanitarian assistance as directed in support of Operation Tomodachi. (U.S. Navy photo)

Arrr matey! This detail is straight up old-school going back hundreds of years. This is probably not what new Sailors had in mind when they were told the Navy would “accelerate their life.”

6. Kitchen Patrol or KP

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition
Food service specialists and kitchen police from 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault) and supporting units unload fresh fruit into a walk-in freezer at the intermediate staging base at Fort Polk, La., Sept. 25, 2015. (U.S. Army photo)

KP duty at the mess hall or galley consists of duties such as food preparation, dish washing, sweeping and mopping floors, wiping tables, serving food on the chow line, or anything else that needs to get done.

Just make it get done or the mess sergeant will go all Gordon Ramsay on you!

7. Burning sh*t

How Janet Jackson’s nipple ended a Veterans Day tradition

This was definitely not in the brochure.