So apparently there are talks within the Senate to give each troop who deployed under the Global War on Terrorism $2,500 as part of the AFGHAN Service Act, which would also negotiate the end of the conflict.
On one hand, sure. I’d love the money. Bills suck ass and cash is king. On the other hand, well, let’s look at the lettering of the bill. It’s a one-time payment, and it’d be sent out to every troop who’s deployed anywhere under the Global War on Terrorism. I can only imagine the impending sh*tstorm that’d come when everyone got that check in the mail.
Deploying one time to Kuwait would get you the money, deploying multiple times to Afghanistan still only gets you one check and the older vets who served before 9/11 get nothing. See where I’m going here? The veteran community will turn into the freakin’ Thunderdome. But then again… that is a rent payment…
Anyways, enjoy some memes before the ensuing sh*tstorm!
Former Secretary of Defense, retired general, and Patron Saint of Chaos James Mattis has announced that he will be publishing an autobiography called Call Sign Chaos: Learning to Lead. It’s said to cover him coming to terms with leadership learned throughout his military career starting from his days as a young Marine lieutenant to four-star general in charge of CENTCOM.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m freaking pumped. Yes, I’d love to know the nitty-gritty of commanding a quarter million troops, but I want to know about his lesser-known butter bar years leading a weapons platoon. Because let’s be honest, that’s where the seeds of his leadership style really grew.
He probably made mistakes and got chewed out for it. He slipped up and got mocked by the lower enlisted. He would have had to ask for advice and eventually grow into one of the smartest minds Uncle Sam has seen in a long time. Even the Warrior Monk himself may have been that nosy LT who needed to be whipped into shape by the platoon sergeant, and that’s kind of motivating in its own way. Yeah, you may f*ck up once in a while, but not even Chaos Actual was a born leader. He had to learn it.
Just think. There’s an old salty devil dog out there somewhere who’s responsible for knife-handing the boot-tenant out of Mattis. And he’s the real hero of this story.
While we wait for the one book that will actually get Jarheads to read for fun on June 16th, here’s some memes.
(Meme via Army as F*ck)
(Meme via Team Non-Rec)
(Meme via Not CID)
(Meme via SFC Majestic)
(Meme via Broken and Unreadable)
(Meme via Disgruntled Decks)
Fun fact: The Department of Energy renamed natural gas “freedom gas” in a memo. You know what that means, boys…
Every day, service members from all branches prepare themselves for deployment. Depending on your branch, that deployment could consist of heading out to a war zone, spending several months aboard a seafaring vessel, or sightseeing in your spare time in Charleston, S.C.
Yes, that’s right. Deploying inside the U.S. is, in fact, considered an actual deployment. But, no matter where you deploy, the experience will somehow change your life and the lives of those around you.
A military deployment has its own culture and we think it deserves to have its own collection of memes — which we’re happy to provide.
Don’t worry, this class wasn’t too important. It only covered what you’re not supposed to kill.
When do we get to go home, again?
We wonder how this story will play out?
Hide your wives.
On second thought, we probably all look a little goofy getting on that government bus.
Nope, it doesn’t. But, that’s the deployment we’d prefer to be on.
And there’s no signs of it slowing down.
And if he does, you’ve probably been on watch way, way too long.
Looks like somebody is going to pull an all-nighter… again.
New town and new life ahead … at least that’s the plan. At some point. In the meantime you’re waiting on orders, waiting on movers and waiting to start your life in a completely new location. That’s the life of a military affiliated family member. Whether you’re active duty yourself or serve dutifully as a milspouse, PCSing never seems to go as planned. This doesn’t come as a shock to anyone. However, we somehow still find some grace, some positivity and some humor in moving to the next duty station.
Take a look at these memes that describe how and when everything goes wrong, and how we can laugh it off in the process.
It would’ve been easier to spread this all out.
Common sense, man.
2. If this isn’t the truest thing we’ve ever seen
The odds are never in our favor.
3. Sprinting to file paperwork ASAP
An “adventure” or “cluster of too much to do”?
4. Splurge for the extra copies. Just do it.
Hand it out like candy.
5. We’re still here
Thanks for asking that super obvious question.
6. Bye, nerds.
*Hopes you’re never stationed with them again.*
7. When you’re tired of asking over and over again
WHAT is taking so long though?
8. But really who named this thing anyway?
We all know it’s NOT forever.
9. I love PCSing, it’s my favorite. PCSing is the best. Among others.
It’s true, no one says it.
10. This is a constant fear:
Will it all arrive in one piece? Only time will tell.
PCSing is no joke. Whether it’s your first or 10th, you go through the same rapid emotions and ups and downs. Including all of the hurrying up and waiting, lost and/or changing plans, and everything in between.
Let’s face it, memes are one of the best things about the internet. They simply wrap up our thoughts and jokes so perfectly — all with an image and a small amount of text. (Because who wants to do extensive reading when they’re just trying to let loose?) Yes, memes just get us. They get it right and we are thankful that they exist.
Including these uh-mazing versions to help ring in the New Year!
This overdone joke that we secretly love
2. Meanwhile, hoping 2020 actually has an end
3. When you accidentally fall asleep too early
Did I miss it?!?!
4. This amazing resolution that we should all be using every year
It looks like Hurricane Lane is finally done wrecking Hawaii, leaving in its wake record rainfall, widespread building damage, and places without power. Since Hawaii is home to many military installations from each branch, they won’t have to look too hard to find bodies for their 10,000-man aid detail.
If you’re stationed in Hawaii, you’ll more than likely be used in the clean-up efforts — you know, just as soon as you finish sweeping all the crude that washed into the motor pool.
These memes probably can’t soothe the pain of being the only person who’s actually going to work while your buddies are making their third run to the gut truck and your NCOs are “supervising.” But, hey, they can’t hurt, either.
(Meme via US Army WTF Moments)
(Meme via Military Memes)
(Meme via Shammers United)
(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)
(Meme via Sh*t My LPO Says)
(Meme via Army as F*ck)
(Meme via The Salty Soldier)
(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)
(Meme by Ranger Up)
(Meme via Valhalla Wear)
(Meme via Shammers United)
(Meme via The Salty Soldier)
All the pay and respect of a specialist with the duties of an NCO. No one ever wants to be a corporal, you just end up as one.
And if you think you actually wanted to be a corporal, you’re only lying to yourself — or you’re secretly a robot.
The Space Force, a relatively new branch within the Air Force, has without a doubt been a controversial subject. The poor dears have also found themselves the subjects of a number of inventive and insulting memes. From space monsters to wardrobe malfunctions, here are 20 brilliant memes about the Space Force. Sorry, guys. We couldn’t resist.
1. What’ll it be?
2. Why so serious?
I guess after the thousandth wise crack, it gets old. You’ve got to admit- despite her annoyance, her lavender hair is fire.
3. Aiming for the stars
ROTC kids are usually tough. And then there’s this guy, looking like a balloon animal in a baseball cap.
4. Why does this look so familiar?
Oh. That’s why. Who okayed this?
5. Expectations vs. reality
It’s no different than the rest of them…
6. Nothing ever changes, does it?
Just pretend it’s Tatooine.
7. Everyone wants to join
Don’t worry. It’s humane in real life. Promise.
8. It is the Space Force, after all.
After we get mainstream commercial space travel, this should absolutely be the flight attendant uniform.
9. Space Force hairstyles are…innovative?
He should sue.
10. Me and my homies
Is this not how the Space Force spends their weekends?
11. Good thinking
Eat all the fast food you want…
12. Protecting the galaxy
Just wait for the aliens to come. Then you’ll see. You’ll aaall see.
13. So effective.
The best disguise is in plain sight.
14. Did Michael Scott do this on purpose?
Either way, I’d serve next to Steve Carell any day.
15. ‘Space Isis’
You heard it here first, folks!
16. The nightmares no astronaut will admit to.
Maybe the giant space bugs are herbivores?
17. Standing guard at the StarGate
It’s still cool, I guess. Almost.
18. Student loan forgiveness?
It’s all about the hustle.
19. They won’t pay
The alien exchange rate is probably out of this world anyway…
Recently, a Marine was kicked out of a wedding for wearing his Dress Blues instead of a regular suit and tie. According to the post on Reddit, he was polite and gentlemanly but was asked to leave because he didn’t follow the dress code and the bride felt he was taking the spotlight away from the marriage.
There’s still a lot of other variables that aren’t really known that could really determine who’s the a**hole in this situation. If he was pulling a “you’re welcome for my service” routine, totally justified. If he didn’t have any other suit and tie, he could have probably explained that. If he was flexing his bare pizza box and two ribbons, he’s a douche. Since he was a friend of the groom, did he ask first? So on and so forth.
I’m personally of the mindset that he didn’t follow the uniform of the day and weddings are one of those things where you just nod and agree with the bride. But that’s ultimately pointless since this wedding has no bearing on my life.
Anyways. Since we in the U.S. aren’t subject to the EU’s Article 13 ruling on copyright material and the gray area it puts on sharing memes – have some memes!
Oh snap! The first official recruiting ad for the Space Force has finally dropped! Don’t get me wrong. I’m just as hyped as everyone else who joked to their retention NCO that the only way they’d stay in was to reclass as a space shuttle door gunner.
But, like, why do they even need an advertisement at this point? Everyone knows who they are and are already planning on camping out at the recruitment offices when they open. It’s like seeing a commercial for a Ferrari. It’s just a waste of time and money when we’re already sold on the idea.
Whatever. They’re probably going to have a bigger budget than the Air Force – so spend it if you got it, right? Anyway, here are some memes.
1. I don’t care about any of your damn stories from Basic. But you can be damn sure that I’ll play along with whatever BS lie about how badass you are to tell civilians.
2. While we’re in, we all sh*ttalk chief for being OFP. But, he’s literally treating the military like it’s a 9-5 job at that point.
3. North Korean generals got nothing on some of the E-4’s I’ve seen these days…
4. Anyone know if the vehicles in the motorpool are still fine? No one’s been around to kick their tires in ages!
5. All else fails, pocket sand…
6. One makes things go boom. The other prevents things from going boom. See the problem?
7. Largest amphibious landing in military history and it wasn’t conducted by the branch of the military specifically designed for such a task…
(Yeah, I know. They were in the Pacific and Marine generals assisted in the planning. I thought Marines were at least supposed to understand jokes.)
8. “Ah, I see you’re a man of culture as well.”
9. For the Space Force? In a heartbeat. Then again, I’ve been out for a few years, put on a few pounds, have literally no applicable skills needed in space… But I’d do it.
10. Well. Now I’m going to rewatch Band of Brothers this quarantine… for the 101st time…
11. As long as you don’t have flat feet. (Is flat feet still a thing?)
12. f it looks right, it is right.
13. If you didn’t jump up out of your bunk, but forgot that you’re on the lower one, so you smack your head so damn hard it echoes through the bay, did you even go to basic/boot camp?
President Trump has officially signed the order to begin the process of developing the Space Force. The logical side of all of our brains is telling us that it’s just going to be an upgraded version of what the Navy and Air Force’s respective Space Commands currently do… but deep down, we all want to sign up.
I mean, who wouldn’t immediately sign an indefinite contract to be a space shuttle door gunner? It represents that tiny glimmer of hope in all of us that says we, one day, can live out every epic space fantasy we’ve ever dreamed up.
The sad truth is that the first couple decades (if not centuries) of the Space Force will involve dealing with boring human problems, not fighting intergalactic aliens bent on destroying our solar system. Oh well.
Hey, while you wait for the army of Space Bugs to start invading, kill some time with these memes.
Last week the United States swore its 46th president into office. Even during a pandemic, a big deal was made by event planners, celebrating a new accomplishment by our latest Commander in Chief. No matter how you feel about current events, there’s no denying that some pretty awesome memes came into existence from the inauguration itself. Yes, highlighting this time-honored tradition came with the introduction of new memes. Because, well, because it’s 2021 and the internet exists, and how else do we celebrate any next big thing?
Take a look at our favorite memes from this momentous day and the best jokes that were brought into existence.
Bernie stole the inauguration show
There’s no denying that this is probably everyone’s new favorite meme. And that it’s already been made into countless memes. Keep ‘em coming!
Bernie explaining himself, while also not caring that he’s an infamous inauguration meme now
Dude was just trying to stay warm!
When the pose fits, wear it.
They just kept on coming
And we were HERE for it.
Lady Gaga’s outfit, which was fire but also quite Hunger Games-y
We like your inspo though.
We also like these inauguration outfit recreations.
Even if the meme made us LOL.
Kanye already interrupted one big show. Why not an inauguration?
That time Leslie Knope predicted Joe’s future inauguration
Homegirl met Joe Biden back in the day.
This TikTok star who documented his journey, avec cranberry jug chugging
Newly famed Nathan Apodaca skateboarded his way to the inauguration, drinking cranberry juice. As one does.
This random, yet hilarious shot
If you know, you know.
The laughs just kept coming from this year’s inauguration event. Especially the never-ending line up of Bernie and his mittens. (BTW mitten sales have apparently skyrocketed in days since. If you’re in the mitten business, you can thank the man himself!)
What were your favorite memes from the inauguration?
Life on the trail — sigh. It’s a gig like no other. It’s intense, it’s nonstop, and it’s full of some of the craziest stories you will ever hear in the military. It’s like a decade of military life, compacted into 24 months of chaos. That’s drill life as we know and love it — or as we know and hate it.
Take a look at these totally accurate memes describing these most hardcore moments in life on the trail.
Sometimes, silence says the most
You know they know you’re there.
2. This might come in handy
The sale is a bonus, of course.
3. Sometimes the creative punishments work the best
Rain has been mopped, Drill Sgt.
4. When the knife hand is on fire
Let it fly.
5. When the stories don’t add up
Let’s try that one again.
6. It will never be clean enough
Start over, trainees. Welcome to drill life.
7. Meanwhile, spouses are on their best behavior too
You’re supposed to turn it off at home though.
8. Those wild goose chases though
Better hurry, time’s started!
9. Sometimes the stars just align
Sounds like a heyday all around.
10. This is how it feels some days
But you never get your card in the mail.
11. When a private *finally* gives the best answer of all time
Well done, kid.
Drill life is its own kind of crazy, and these memes perfectly sum up some of the most common instances of wearing the brown round.