We’ve seen the memes and funny videos… the ones poking fun on the day your spouse comes home from work, drops their things and then turns to you with that face. You know the one.
Their serious face. The hesitant face. The I-have-news face.
We knew it was coming (or…we didn’t). But ready or not, it’s an essential part of military life. The moving. The orders. That face. We all react differently. Some stand still in shock. Some shed a tear. Others jump for joy.
For some spouses, it depends on their current location. Most military spouses’ reaction depends on where they’re heading. Every military spouse’s reaction to “Honey, we’re moving again!” is a flurry of mixed emotions.
There are those eager to move on. Those who aren’t ready or have finally just learned to love where they live. But most likely, a military spouse who’s been told those two words, “We’re moving,” feels a rush of a hundred different things in their brain and their heart.
They’ll miss the support system and sense of security they’ve built at their current duty station. They mourn that feeling of familiarity. Part of them feels excited to move on, expecting this at some point. They might go into research mode or data gathering, quickly googling all things necessary at their new zip code. Some military spouses immediately tell everyone, while others hold the news tightly to their chest just in case things change.
Is it possible to laugh and cry at the same time? We may never know. But spouses have surely tried to encompass those feelings of relief, fear, anxiety, frustration, happiness and more in how they react when they get orders to somewhere new.
“My first reaction probably depends on where we currently are. So like, one place was ‘finally!’ but a different place was ‘I finally just found my people.’” – Chelsea H., Air Force spouse.
“Tell our families and go to our saved Zillow listings for that area. Also, have a mental breakdown thinking about everything that needs to happen now.” Meghan T., Air Force spouse.
“I get excited thinking about a new place and a fresh start!” Kelsey O., Air Force spouse.
“I think about everything we have to pack if we move ourselves. Then I get sad knowing I’ll have to leave the friends we’ve made here,” Courtney L., Army spouse.
“The first thing I do is immediately stalk Zillow for housing. And then I google map the street view to see what things in the town look like!” Erin B., Marine spouse.
“Cry.” – Virginia L., Air Force spouse.
“We call a family meeting and tell our girls! We always include them with big or life-changing news,” Katelyn P., Air Force Spouse.
“The first thing I do is look for housing options and figure out which schools we’d be zoned for. Then I contact them to figure out what was needed from us for the transfer. We also figure out how we were moving our belongings since we usually do a DITY move, and go ahead and reserve it early to ensure we’d have something to pack our belongings into when the time came to move. Then we tell our family.” Kelly M., Army spouse.
Rightfully so, military spouses are met with an array of mixed emotions when told they will be moving soon. Each transition brings many conflicting feelings. Some may be filled with relief and excitement, while others may feel heavy with grief or fear. Mixed feelings about change are so very normal. Deep breath.
And in case you’re wondering if it’s possible to laugh, cry, and scream, while also Googling everything at your new duty station—it is.
But please don’t ask us how we know.