Navy Spouse Reyna Worthy serves as one of the 10 members for the Association for Defense Communities Military Spouse Initiative. The group meets for semi-monthly training on leadership and advocacy, and will attend an in-person forum and a national summit to meet with community leaders as part of a capstone project. Worthy also serves as an ombudsmen for her spouse’s unit (Navy equivalent of SFRG leader).
As both a business owner and Navy spouse, Worthy has turned her business into a multi-tier platform. She started Desk of a Navy Wife in 2019 when she saw a need for sharing information. She also has a full-time job in military transitions as a government contractor.
Related: The wife of the famous ‘kissing sailor’ is in the iconic 1945 photo–and it’s not the nurse
“It started as a blog where I was finding my voice again in this military life,” she said. “Now it’s a podcast with resources I’ve found as a military spouse and as a government contractor.”
After finding so much information the hard way, Worthy said it was an easy decision to want to give back. From resources to tips, to personal interviews, to giveaways, she does it all with her fellow military spouse community in mind. Even when considering prizes, she said, she tries to choose things that anyone could find beneficial, such as a resume-writing book tailored to milspos.
“Some organizations do Starbucks cards, but not every spouse drinks Starbucks,” she said. “So I look for something that’s really highlighting the voices of military spouses.”
Worthy said she has looked long and hard to find relevant resources, and now she’s creating the platform she wishes she’d had as a new spouse. Previously, she worked in HR and said that career path led her to pull everything full circle.
“I felt like there was a lot of data and information collected on how military spouses are feeling,” she said. “But what’s lacking is that they don’t have support. I said, ‘Let’s talk about that. Let’s unpack all of that and bring you on a platform so we can share resources.’”
The idea is for military spouses to realize they aren’t alone, even when at a new duty station away from their support system. When Worthy met her spouse 12 years ago, she said there was no option but to learn life the hard way, especially after they married a year later.
“I wasn’t given a pamphlet,” she said, laughing. “I didn’t know what a sponsor was; I had never heard of an ombudsman. I realized military spouses have to really rely on their service member, but some of them are new too.”
That’s when Worthy began digging for resources and programs available to her and her spouse.
“I felt like that was a big gap,” she said of doing her own research, despite being a new dependent. “Now, whatever gap exists, I want to fill that in. I’m not a gatekeeper; this information needs to be everywhere.”
Then Worthy got pregnant with her second child while they were living in Japan, and the need for information fell once again. This time, however, her research was more nuanced and more confusing. As her pregnancy progressed, she had more and more questions that could not be answered. She had become high-risk around five or six months and learned she would be medically evacuated to San Diego, California.
“This was the first time I had to really advocate for myself; this was a new side of learning about military life,” she said. “I didn’t know much about advocacy before that.”
With higher-ups planning a deployment for her spouse, Worthy said she was left with basic questions, like who would assist her at the hospital, and who would watch their 3-year-old while she was having a C-section, let alone during recovery. At one point, it was suggested she take a Taxi to the hospital. She was told continually that it would be figured out later.
“I wrote down 30-some questions and they didn’t have answers for me, they would say, ‘We’ll see what command says,’ but I needed definitive answers. I didn’t know anyone there or have anyone within hours of that area. That was the first time I spoke up and finding my voice came in.”
After Worthy’s C-section on Christmas Eve, additional complications arose to the point where she needed emergency surgery. Again, she said she had to advocate for herself.
“I was in pain, it was warm to the touch, this orange, waxy stuff was coming out. I’d had a C-section before and knew it wasn’t normal.” Her spouse ended up driving her to the ER four times before she was seen by a doctor and admitted; particles of conception had remained after birth and became infected. The surgery took place when her baby was a week old.
“Finally, I could rest, but we had to get passports and all the documentation for my husband to get back,” she said. “It was a wild experience. If you know something is wrong, tell them and ask for a second, third, or fourth opinion. You know your body best. It’s these experiences that we go through, people think it’s not ok to speak up, but who knows what would’ve happened.”
In part, this experience led Worthy to take her blog from the screen to the speaker.
The third season of Worthy’s Desk of a Navy Wife’s podcast will cover mental health, with each episode featuring a related interview. This will be the first season with a video component. The first two seasons are audio-only.
“I created it really to fill that gap and people can be heard,” she said. “We get lost in the void – that’s how I felt as a new spouse.”
Desk of a Navy Wife is available on Spotify, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio, and her website.
