10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H - We Are The Mighty
MIGHTY MOVIES

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H

Serving as one of the most well-known military-based television shows of all time, today M*A*S*H is a household name. Short for Mobile Army Surgical Hospital, the 11-season show followed Army surgeons during the Korean war as they saved the day through patients’ lives and viewers’ hearts. M*A*S*H was also a movie before it ever made it to TV and earned the title of the most-watched finale of all time. 

Whether you’ve never seen the series or are a die-hard fan, there’s no denying the way it paved for military understanding in everyday life. Take a look at these little-known facts of M*A*S*H:

  1. It was based off a book from a real-life Army surgeon 

The book, MASH: A Novel About Three Army Doctors, was released in 1968 by Richard Hooker and writer W.C. Heinz. Hooker was the pen name of H. Richard Hornberger, a real-life Army surgeon who served in the Korean War. Hornberger wanted to share his stories, which were then put onto the big screen and turned into the iconic TV show. 

  1. Klinger’s crossdressing came with a backstory

The character of Maxwell Klinger, played by Jamie Farr, was originally supposed to be in a single episode, playing a gay service member. Writers decided to change his character to a heterosexual crossdresser who was trying to earn a ticket home for his antics. Supposedly the bit is based on a joke by Lenny Bruce, who claimed he got kicked out of the Navy. 

Klinger made it for the duration of the series, even showing up in a spinoff, AfterMASH.

  1. The writers did away with actor feedback

Apparently, early in the show, actors provided ample — and loud — notes about their characters and scripts. The show’s writers got creative and had actors wear heavy coats on days it was 90-100 degrees in Malibu, where characters huddled around a fire. After these winter scenes, the suggestions magically stopped. 

  1. Rodgers never signed a contract

Main character, Trapper John MacIntyre was played by Wayne Rodgers. The actor wished to leave after season three, but the network bit back saying they would bring a lawsuit for breach of contract. The kicker? Rodgers never signed one. He objected in early days to the paperwork provided, and it was never updated for him to sign. The actor was able to leave with no binding legalities. 

  1. Main characters were played by actual veterans

Alan Alda, who played Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper John McIntyre, played by Wayne Rodgers, B.J. Hunnicut by Mike Farrell, and Maxwell Klinger by Jamie Farr, served time in the U.S. military in real life. Alda served in the Army Reserves, Pierce in the Navy, Farr enlisted, and Farrell was a Marine. 

Publicity photo from the M*A*S*H season premiere, 1974. Pictured are: Loretta Swit, Larry Linville, Wayne Rogers, Gary Burghoff, Alan Alda (driver of jeep), and McLean Stevenson.
  1. Prolific screenwriter Larry Gelbart was paid top-dollar for the pilot script

At the time, writer Larry Gelbart had left the U.S., citing that he’d grown tired of Hollywood. However, when contacted to write M*A*S*H, he said he had to take the chance. Gelbart wrote the pilot episode in just two days and was paid $25,000 for his work — in today’s value, that’s over $150,000 for a single episode. He went on to write for the duration of the show.

  1. The laugh track was mandated by CBS

Despite being a drama, and objections from show creators and actors alike, CBS forced the show to use a laugh track. The main argument was that all comedies of the time used it. Actors even said it was a distraction, covering up lines and making it hard to follow more dramatic scenes. The track was omitted when reruns began playing in the U.K.

  1. Sesame Street played tribute 

At the season’s end, Sesame Street gave a nod to the show by gifting Big Bird with a teddy bear named Radar. The character of the same name had his own teddy bear on the show. It’s said that one of Sesame Street’s main puppeteers was a huge fan of the show, prompting the addition to the storyline. 

  1. Radar often hid his hand

If you watch closely, you’ll see actor Gary Burgoff, AKA Radar hiding or lowering his left hand in many episodes. This is due to a slight deformity that he wanted to keep off camera throughout the duration of the show. 

  1. The show broke boundaries with on-air cursing
M*A*S*H logo

Today it’s not uncommon for cussing to take place on TV. At the time, however, it was rare and many phrases were simply not allowed by networks. M*A*S*H was the first show to use the term “son of a bitch,” making waves with its colorful language. 

MIGHTY MOVIES

The top 5 armies of the future in cinema

Hollywood has the ability to spark every veteran’s imagination and when the big screen explores what future militaries may become, it’s enough to make even the most content retiree dream of taking the oath all over again.


Let’s explore the fantastic armies any veteran would love to be a part of.

Related: 4 military movies whose hero should be dead

5. Imperial Klingon Wehrmacht – Star Trek

Now, they aren’t human, but they are badass. A Spartan-esque class of alien warriors whose greatest pride is their fighting lineage.

 

As for leadership, well, if the captain of any Klingon vessel is seen as too weak or unable to perform, it’s the first officer’s duty to kill him and take his place.

4. United Defense Force – The Edge of Tomorrow

It’s not the leadership, tactics, or the personnel’s esprit de corps that makes this future army enviable, it’s the standard-issue armaments that make us wargasm.

 

Mech-warriors. They issue you the tech to become a f*cking mech-warrior.

3. The Resistance – Terminator 2

 

They were all that was left of humanity after Skynet nuked the planet, leaving only the hardest humans to band together under the game-changing leadership of John Connor.

2. The U.S. Colonial Marine Corps – Aliens

If you haven’t dreamed of being a part of this platoon of barrel-chested, xenomorph-eradicating, smoke-breathing badasses, then you either haven’t seen Aliens or you are wrong.

 

Also Read: If you need a spouse, this is what the Marines would issue

1. Mobile Infantry – Starship Troopers

The source material for this sci-fi classic is on the Commandant of the Marine Corps’ reading list for Valhalla’s sake. Everyone fights and no one quits in this testament to warrior virtue.

 To quote the son of President Gerald Ford (who plays a character in the movie),

“We are going in with the first wave! Just means more bugs for us to kill. You smash the entire area. You kill anything that has more than two legs, you get me?!”

MIGHTY CULTURE

Watch CIA Chief of Disguise break down iconic spy scenes

Joanna Mendez, former Central Intelligence Agency Chief of Disguise, watched spy scenes from a variety of films and television shows in order to break down how accurate they really are. From Jason Bourne finding his cache of passports and foreign currency to Carrie Mathison’s (Homeland) half-assed “disguise” through airport security, Mendez doesn’t hold back in her opinions and expertise.

During her 27-year career, her position in the CIA’s Office of Technical Service involved providing operational disguises and alias training in hostile theaters of the Cold War from Moscow to Havana. Her duties included clandestine photography and preparing CIA assets with the use of intelligence-collecting equipment like spy cameras, as well as processing the information brought in.

Think “Q” — James Bond Q, not Star Trek…

Now retired, Mendez continues to consult with the U.S. Intelligence community as well as lecture with her husband Antonio Mendez, also a retired intelligence officer, with whom she has published several books about their covert experience including Spy Dust, which reveals “the tools and operations that helped win the Cold War,” and Argo, which would become an Academy Award-winning film of the same name that told the story of “the most audacious rescue in history.”

In the video below, Mendez lets her critiques fly. Check it out:


Former CIA Chief of Disguise Breaks Down 30 Spy Scenes From Film & TV | WIRED

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“Carrie’s disguise, which basically consisted of dying her hair…was absolutely ineffective. She’s still Carrie…but with dark hair. She could have cut her hair and restyled it. She could have changed her makeup. She could have put on sunglasses to hide that crazy-eyed look she has…” claps Mendez.

She then jumped to a scene from Alias where Jennifer Garner nails her disguise. “She didn’t just dye her hair — she dyed it outrageously red and then adopted the whole persona to go with it. We could have used that as a training film!” she laughed.

Mendez moves on to Matthew Rhys’ character in The Americans. “He was never trying to look good. He came really close to projecting ‘the little gray man’ that we would talk about at the CIA. You wanted to be forgettable,” she commended.

Mendez then moves on to a “quick change,” the name for a move where an agent clandestinely changes his appearance in 37 seconds. She commented on Mission Impossible III, and in particular discusses why Tom Cruise’s “priest” would have been ethically off-limits.

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H

From Megan Fox in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, to Ansel Elgort in Baby Driver, Mendez breaks down the “quick change” further — and also warns against stealing.

The video covers blending in with the crowd in James Bond — and CIA inventions that helps its agents remain discrete; being assigned a new identity in Spy; cultural customs in Inglorious Bastards; and life-like masks that cover the entire face in order to give the appearance of a completely different face.

The video is highly entertaining, not just because it grabs clips from iconic pop culture favorites (Austin Powers and Sherlock Holmes make appearances) but also because Joanna Mendez has a great, wry humor (“we never tried to disguise ourselves as furniture at the CIA…”).

Watch the full video above and find out what the CIA really thinks about black cat suits and seducing the enemy!
MIGHTY MOVIES

‘Catch-22’ is the war miniseries that still feels relevant

Catch-22 was written six decades ago by World War II veteran Joseph Heller, but change the B-25s to CH-47s and make the sands of Pianosa (an Italian island) the sands of Afghanistan, Iraq, or Kuwait, and all the characters and most of the plots would fit right in.


The new miniseries from George Clooney, which features him in the supporting role of an insane commander of cadets, includes all the best moments from the novel. The funny ones, and the ones that capture the horror of conflict. Moments like these seven:
(Spoilers below.)

When a slight error in directions puts a man in mortal danger

When a new gunner shows up to the squadron, he’s bunked in the tent of Yossarian, the main protagonist of the novel and the only one of the miniseries. Yossarian isn’t the most helpful of lieutenants, but he gives the new sergeant directions to the administration tent. A slight miscount of tents sends the sergeant to the ops tent, instead.

So the sergeant, instead of signing in to the unit, gets thrown into the next plane going up on a mission, a dangerous one over Nazi-controlled Italy.

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H

(Hulu screenshot)

When an Army sergeant tries to marry an Italian whore

Tell me if you’ve heard this one before: A young Army sergeant meets an attractive sex worker, falls in love, and wants to get married, even though everyone in the unit tells him it’s a horrible idea.

In Catch-22, that’s Nately, and his enduring loves goes to “Nately’s Whore,” an Italian woman with a funny pimp and a clever younger sister. While Nately’s story is a bit cliche, it also features one of the better lines of sergeants loving sex workers.

“Sure, she’s a prostitute now, but she won’t be once I marry her.”

When a piece of flak almost sends the hero home

During one of the bombardier’s missions, he almost gets his “million dollar wound,” the one that would let him go home. Slight spoiler: He’s hit in the nuts by flak. As the American doctor later explains, any man who gives up a nut for his country is entitled to go home. But any man who almost loses a testicle has to fly more missions.

And, spoiler, Yossarian only almost lost his testicle. A piece of shrapnel passed through his scrotum, between his testicles.

When an aviator creates a mock scrotum to ask about his testicles

And how did Yossarian learn that he still had two testicles? An Italian doctor told him. But the Italian man only spoke Italian, and Yossarian only spoke English, so he did a bit of improvisation, just like any soldier trying to communicate with a local would do.

In Yossarian’s case, that was turning a handkerchief into an improvised scrotum filled with two nearby pieces of fruit. Then he pointed at the fake nut sack, said, “Two,” pointed at his own sack, and asked, “Two?” The doctor got the idea, laughed, and confirmed the boys were still present.

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H

(Hulu screenshot)

When the colonel tries to cover up failure by giving an award and promotion

At one point, our hero is so distracted on a bombing run that he goes through the whole run-up, gives all the verbal commands and watches for the release point, but forgets to actually throw the lever to release the bombs. Yossarian, pretty strung out by this point, decides to just get his plane to go around for another pass.

(Major spoiler) But on that second pass, a beloved character is killed, and Yossarian blames himself for making the second run. His bosses blame him too. But when they go to punish him, they suddenly realize that punishing the bombardier would send the message that the mission failed. So, to maintain the perception that the mission was a success, they promote him and give him a medal instead.

(Then, for slightly related reasons, they have him arrested about 24 hours later.)

When the whole world turns dark

But the most familiar parts of the miniseries, and the novel, are the dark moments, when the humor melts away, and the terrifying reality of the war smashes its way in like the world’s most horrible Kool-Aid Man. We aren’t going to list any moments here, because all of them are major spoilers.

But the themes of loss, vulnerability, the futility of war, rampant capitalism, and more are all explored. The “loss” one comes up a lot.

Catch-22 Trailer (Official) • A Hulu Original

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The titular catch: Catch-22

It’s in most of the ads, so you’ve probably seen how Catch-22 works. If not, it’s a piece of bureaucratic genius that sounds exactly like something the Army would come up with.

Flying bombing missions is suicidal and, therefore, insane. Anyone who is insane doesn’t have to fly bombing missions. All they have to do is present themselves to a doctor and ask to go home. Except.

Except that the moment they ask to go home, the doctor is required to take that as the thought process of a rational mind. Rational people aren’t crazy and can’t be sent home for insanity.

So anyone who asks to go home, can’t. Anyone who doesn’t ask can go home anytime, as soon as they ask.

If you’ve got Hulu, you can check out the show anytime. If not, the book is probably better anyway. Sure, you don’t get to watch Hugh Laurie, but there are even more jokes than in the miniseries. And the novel was written by a vet, so it avoids some of the military mistakes like the show makes. (One guy wearing massive sergeant stripes introduces himself as a lieutenant. There’s about one mistake like that per episode.)

Articles

This harrowing World War II SERE story is coming to the big screen

The harrowing tale of how a U.S. Army Air Force B-24 top turret gunner evaded Nazis for six months after his plane was shot down in 1943 is now heading to the silver screen.


According to a story in The Hollywood Reporter, actor Jake Gyllenhaal’s production company Nine Stories has acquired the rights to make a film adaptation of “The Lost Airman,” a book about the odyssey that Staff Sgt. Arthur Meyerowitz faced in evading Nazis after the B-24 he was in was shot down.

The film is being produced for Amazon Studios.

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H
Turret assembly of B-24D Liberator bomber. (Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

According to a March 2016 review of the book, Meyerowitz suffered a serious back injury when he bailed out from the Liberator, which kept him from getting across the Pyrenees Mountains right away. This meant that Meyerowitz was in serious trouble — not only was he an Allied airman, he was also Jewish.

So, the French Resistance hid Meyerowitz in plain sight as an Algerian named Georges Lambert, a deaf-mute who had been injured in an accident who had been hired to work in a store in the city of Toulouse. Meyerowitz was joined by a Royal Air Force pilot named Richard Cleaver.

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H
Captain Jack Ilfrey, an ace who ended the war with eight victories, twice escaped capture during WWII. Like Meyerowitz, he posed as a deaf-mute to successfully evade capture by the Nazis. (U.S. Air Force Photo)

At great cost, the French Resistance eventually got Meyerowitz over the Pyrenees, but even then, there was still risk from Spanish officials who were perfectly willing to return “escaped criminals” to the Nazis (usually after the payment of a bribe).

Thus, the two pilots were not truly safe until they arrived in Gibraltar via a fishing boat.

Meyerowitz would receive the Purple Heart for the injury he suffered while escaping from the stricken B-24. He also would spend over a year in hospitals recovering from the untreated injury.

French Resistance fighters. (Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

Gyllenhaal is best known for starring in the movies “Nightcrawler,” ‘The Day After Tomorrow,” and “Jarhead.” The film is being produced by Academy Award-winning producer John Lesher, best known for “Birdman.” No release date has been set.

Intel

‘A War’ shows the complexities of ROE while trying to win hearts and minds

‘A War’ is an Oscar-nominated Danish film that deals with what happens in the field and on the homefront when warfighters are made to fight with restrictive rules of engagement. As much as the film is a story about one officer’s experience (and how his choices under fire potentially affect his family) it is also a commentary on the nature of the limited wars that members of NATO and ISAF have found themselves involved in since 2001.


The war in Afghanistan has been specifically challenging with respect to ROE. The enemy isn’t another nation-state. Some areas are more secure than others, but overall there are no front lines. Add to that the overall mission of convincing the local populace that modernity and following a western model of rule of law is the better choice over the savage and unmerciful nature of Sharia law and the draconian elements that come with it. The ability to win “hearts and minds” is heavily leveraged against avoiding collateral damage while attacking the enemy.

All of that distills down into an ROE matrix that requires the warfighter in the field to accept risk. This primary mission is keep the locals safe; it’s not keep your troops safe. And it’s not kill the enemy at all costs.

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H
Scene from the Danish film ‘A War.’

In all-out warfare unflinching ROE can be established, stuff like “if it flies it dies” and “everything east of this longitude is hostile.” In limited war the steps are complex and nuanced, almost like trying to build a case in a courtroom. Only a battlefield is no courtroom.

In limited war the fact your unit is under attack doesn’t give you carte blanche to defend yourself. “Positive ID” must be established. You have to be able to prove you know where the bullets are coming from before returning fire rather than destroying whole city blocks. You have to be able to tell “the pepper from the fly shit,” as they say.

Complying with this PID methodology gets harder when troops start dying around you. At that point you’re apt to do whatever it takes to make it stop.

And once the shooting does stop and you’re back in the antiseptic light of day, you will be judged on your conduct. You’ll be judged by those who weren’t there, and who probably never have been or ever will be there.

Such is the essence of the Post-9/11 conflicts. The harm into which we’ve sent our most recent generation of warriors is distinct from those who fought before them, and the respect they’re due is unique and equal.

MIGHTY MOVIES

Army Ranger Tyler Grey achieves directorial debut with ‘SEAL Team’

“[Directing has] been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember,” shared Tyler Grey, who self-declares on Instagram as “a geeky kid trapped in the body of a nerdy adult.” For those who know his story, however, he’s got a pretty respectable warrior side, too.

A former Delta Force operator and sniper-qualified Army Ranger, Grey’s military career came to an end when he was “blown up in Sadr City” (his words, not mine), resulting in a medical retirement. His right arm still bears the scars from that attack — but he hasn’t let it keep him from actively supporting the military community.

For the past few years, that has meant portraying Trent Sawyer in front of the camera on SEAL Team while helping to produce and act as a military consultant behind the scenes. With Unbecoming an Officer (Season 3 Episode 10), he finally puts on a very coveted hat: director.


[instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/B5vyuZ1n41t/ expand=1]Tyler Grey on Instagram: “So the episode I directed airs next Wednesday 12/11! Here is a promo for it and excuse me right now for the fact that I will post about it…”

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Check out the episode promo:

Most veterans agree that watching shows and films about military service can feel frustrating. It’s hard to get the nuances of military culture right — especially when storytellers are focused on either placing heroes on a pedestal or exposing their trauma.

SEAL Team has been a show actively committed to getting it right by hiring veterans as architects for the story. Grey is not the only service member CBS has brought on board. In a particularly poignant Season 2 episode, the show explored veteran suicide, a tragic issue that hits the military community at too-high a rate. The episode was written by former frogman Mark Semos.

Also read: We have to talk about this week’s SEAL Team

[instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/B56ANDwngdU/ expand=1]Tyler Grey on Instagram: “He is another clip from tomorrow nights episode. Sadly it won’t let me post more than a minute but you get the idea. The guy at the…”

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Grey’s leadership qualities are clear even from a distance. He’s quick to give his team credit for successes (and quick to accept blame for any shortcomings — even in jest).

He’s also great at balancing the line between Hollywood and reality.

“95% of the time if there is something technically wrong on the show there is a TV or dramatic reason for it,” he clarified in advance of the, I’m sure, flood of comments about unused NODS in an episode.

[instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/B3skAiRn-hP/ expand=1]Tyler Grey on Instagram: “Episode 3 airing tonight at 9/8c. So one thing I’ll mention here that I get asked a lot about in reference to the show is why things aren’t…”

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To be clear, directing for television is a highly competitive gig. Throw in stunts, battle scenes, smoke, and special effects and you’ve got a major learning curve for a first-timer.

This is where military training really does bring excellence to the surface. A good leader knows who to turn to for guidance (the NCO or SNCO, always…), how to identify and utilize the strengths of the team, when to be definitive, and when to ask for help.

“On a serious note I hope those who watch it enjoy — a lot of people worked really hard to help this come together,” he shared.

[instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/B50yidLHIrc/ expand=1]Tyler Grey on Instagram: “No idea what I was talking about looking at this picture but I probably didn’t know then either.. Thanks again to the crew, the cast and…”

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It’s great to see a huge network recognizing the capabilities of veterans in the filmmaking industry — especially in military terrain. Service members give up years of their creative careers while their civilian colleagues build resumes. During that time, however, vets rack up some marketable skills and experiences that benefit a set.

SEAL Team is one show that is really paving the way for veterans to show what they’re made of. It’s an opportunity, not a right, and the professionals know it. When they do step up, however, it makes the series stronger.

Grey isn’t the only veteran who has directed for the show. U.S. Marine Michael Watkins, who has an impressive television resume that includes The Blacklist, Quantum Leap, and Prison Break, has also taken the helm.

[instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/B5Y6jdAnTGg/ expand=1]Tyler Grey on Instagram: “Tonight’s episode directed by Marine Veteran Michael Watkins. So this one was rough as we lost our location that all the action was based…”

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From its consultants to its writers and directors to its cast and, yes, even down to its three-line co-stars, SEAL Team gives members of the military community the opportunity to excel after service.

[instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/B4vYabMHtdo/ expand=1]Tyler Grey on Instagram: “Define irony: Working on a military show, as a veteran, on Veterans Day. Just kidding I appreciate the opportunity and truly love this…”

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Make sure you check out Grey’s episode Wednesday Dec. 11 at 9 eastern on CBS and let him know you’ve got his six.

MIGHTY MOVIES

Christian Bale could have done a 4th Batman movie — here’s why he didn’t

At the end of The Dark Knight Rises, Batman is not only alive but happily drinking wine with Anne Hathaway. It seems impossible, but it’s been 11 years since the final Christian Bale and Christopher Nolan Batman movie hit theaters. Since then, Ben Affleck has played Batman and now Robert Pattinson has slipped into the Batsuit for the highly anticipated 2021 film, The Batman. But what if it had all happened differently? What if Christian Bale had done one more turn as Batman?

Speaking to the Toronto Sun about his new film, Ford v. Ferrari, Bale makes it clear that a fourth Batman film was 100 percent in the cards, and certainly something Warner Bros. wanted from both him and director Christopher Nolan.


“Chris [Nolan] had always said to me that if we were fortunate to be able to make three we would stop,” Bale explains, saying the director always wanted it to be a trilogy, no matter what. Though Nolan and Bale always felt lucky each time they were able to make a new installment in their version of Batman. These days, we consider the Dark Knight trilogy to be a modern classic in the superhero genre; movies that stand apart from the Marvel versus cinema debate. But, at the time, Bale points out that doing a new version of Batman was considered to be a fairly risky gamble.

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H

Christian Bale in The Dark Knight Rises.

(Warner Bros. Pictures)

“I literally had people laugh at me when I told them we were doing a new kind of Batman,” Bale says. “I think that the reason it worked was first and foremost Chris [Nolan’s] take on it.”

Still, when the studio wanted a sequel to The Dark Knight Rises, Bale said Nolan turned it down. “Let’s not stretch too far and become overindulgent and go for a fourth…That’s why we, well Chris, stepped away. After that, I was informed my services were no longer required.”

Though this interview makes it sound like Bale was in solidarity with Nolan, that last detail also suggests he would have done another Batman movie in a different capacity if asked. Though Christopher Nolan produced The Man of Steel and Batman eventually appeared in its sequel, Batman v. Superman, it’s an interesting thought experiment to consider what would have happened if it was Bale’s Batman and not Ben Affleck who battled with Superman? It’s an alternate dimension we’ll never visit; one starring a Batman that we didn’t need, per se, but certainly, the Batman we still think we all deserve.

This article originally appeared on Fatherly. Follow @FatherlyHQ on Twitter.

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

Top 5 holiday movies, according to a veteran

‘Tis the season for yuletide carols, family, gifts, entirely too much food, and, of course, some much-needed downtime. Somewhere between “I swear to defend….” and getting that sacred DD-214, many of us developed quite the affinity for film and television.

So, it’s only natural that we spend our downtime getting together on the nostalgia train to binge watch a few of our favorites. Christmas might be over, but there’s still time to enjoy these must-see holiday films. So, grab your spiked eggnog, a warm blanket, and snuggle up for a day’s worth of cinema magic as you pretend the break isn’t rapidly coming to an end.


10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H

Tim Allen is comedic greatness in this role.

(Walt Disney Pictures)

‘The Santa Clause’

The greatness of this film lies in two words: Tim Allen. His comedic timing is great here, and it really serves the premise of the movie: a dad kills Santa Claus and is forced to become Santa himself.

I mean, it’s a completely impossible narrative (Santa Claus is immortal, duh), but it’s fun all the way through.

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H

This one is for all the dads

(20th Century Fox)

‘Jingle All The Way’

This one’s another movie about a dad and holiday hijinks. Arnold Schwarzenegger is on the search for a near-impossible-to-find toy in a quest to buy the affections of his son. In a lot of ways, this movie from the ’90’s has proven to be prophetic for its time. Much of the shenanigans that Schwarzenegger’s character experiences have become the standard holiday shopping experience.

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H

No holiday season is complete without Kevin.

(20th Century Fox)

‘Home Alone’

By now, you’ve probably noticed that parental neglect and aloofness is a bit of theme among the items on this list — but Home Alone cranks it up to full blast.

Kevin McCallister, as played by the immortal Macaulay Culkin, became the iconic ’90s smartass that indirectly shaped a generation. In the film, Kevin proves to be more than capable when he defends his family home against would-be invaders using nothing but wit and a closet full of toys.

It’s sheer conjecture, but we’re sure Kevin McCallister grew up and served — that resourcefulness says “veteran.”

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H

Yippee ki yay, MF.

(Silver Pictures)

‘Die Hard’

John. Mc. Clane.

Die Hard is definitely the most non-holiday movie on this list but, make no mistake, it is absolutely a holiday flick! It’s got a Christmas tree and a happy, warm and fuzzy ending.

Close enough for me!

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H

It is, literally, a Christmas story.

(Metro-Godwyn-Mayer)

‘A Christmas Story’

“You’ll shoot your eye out!”

It’s one of the most iconic lines in cinema history, but it’s not even the best in the film. A Christmas Story is brilliantly written, fantastically acted, and features some of the best narration in film.

This one is to be viewed, preferably, on Christmas Day, but as long as there’s snow on the ground, it’s still good.

Articles

This is why officers should just stay in the office

Army Sgt. David Logan Nye just wanted to do his job during his first combat deployment.


But that’s not how the military works.

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H
Who needs a metal detector when you have hopes and dreams? (Go90 No Sh*t There I Was Screenshot)

Also read: This is why the military shouldn’t completely outlaw hazing

In this episode of No Sh*t There I Was, Nye sets off on a fools-errand with a bunch of high brass and a very stressed out guy charged with detecting IEDs. When they hear a call on the radio that a potential insurgent is fleeing a checkpoint, they take off running to intercept — leaving the metal detector behind.

“Pass the guy protecting us from IEDs…because there are too many probable IEDs on the ground…?” Nye’s inner monologue reflects that of everyone who has ever had to deal with an overly-enthusiastic boss.

Luckily, the rag-tag group of heroes didn’t encounter any IEDs that day, but they did stumble upon something else much more…groovy? Check out the video at the top to see what it was.

Oh, and to my fellow officers out there, let’s try to get in the way of the experts a little less, shall we?

Watch more No Sh*t There I Was:

Why it sucks to report to the ‘Good Idea Fairy’

A Ranger describes what being a ‘towed jumper’ is actually like

Why you should never run through smoke you didn’t throw

Smooth talking your way through gear turn-in is a stinky proposition

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Exclusive: Watch Danny Trejo talk about playing Zombie Machete in ‘Range 15’

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H
Danny Trejo on the ‘Range 15’ set with Tim Kennedy, MMA fighter and Army vet. (Photo: Tim Kennedy’s Instagram page)


Movie-goers know Danny Trejo as one of Hollywood’s toughest dudes, mostly because of his role in “Machete” where he plays a badass who knows his way around a blade.

Trejo is about to hit the screen again in “Range 15,” a collaborative project between the veterans of the Ranger Up! and Article 15 apparel companies.

“It was an honor to be with these guys,” Trejo says of the veterans who he worked with on the ‘Range 15’ set — guys like Mat Best and Nick Palmisciano. “It’s one of the most exciting movies I’ve ever been in.”

The veterans behind the making of “Range 15” are well known to the military community as a result of their popular YouTube videos and killer t-shirt designs. This is their first major motion picture.

Watch Danny Trejo talk about his role as Zombie Machete in ‘Range 15’ (a WATM exclusive):

https://player.vimeo.com/video/164661588

Get more information about the GI Film Festival coming up in the Washington DC area in a few weeks here. (“Range 15” will be screened there and the stars will be in attendance.  Don’t miss it.)

MIGHTY MOVIES

How YouTube’s obsession with Marvel Easter eggs creates global events

It’s hard to pinpoint the moment the algorithm picked you. Maybe it was after a casual viewing of “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2,” when you decided to search how many post-credit scenes you had to sit through. A YouTube video says there are five.

Who is Howard the Duck? You don’t know, but he makes a cameo, so you watch another video explaining his significance. This will be the last Marvel movie for two months, but each video helps extend the dopamine rush that comes with watching Iron Man and the guy from “Parks and Recreation” work out their issues through CGI explosions. Instead of mukbangs and ASMR, you start getting videos titled “The Ending Of Spider-Man: Homecoming Explained” and “BLACK WIDOW Trailer Breakdown” in your recommended section.


After only a few videos, YouTube’s algorithm has siphoned you into the Marvel Theory-Industrial Complex, an ecosystem of video creators, fueled mostly by “details you might have missed” and secondhand information surrounding the Marvel Cinematic Universe. An MCU movie’s release is only part of the spectacle, with speculation coming before and explanation after. Everything including the set, cast, and plot is up for deliberation. Trailers are dissected. Actors get interviewed. Leaked scripts are faked.

20 Avengers: Endgame Theories That Could Be True

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In July, Marvel Studios announced its “Phase Four” timeline for the Marvel Cinematic Universe, laying out 10 movies and shows from now until 2021. The details in the timeline are limited, giving only titles, release dates, and logos for each film. The Phase Four timeline, like the three before it, lays the groundwork for all of the predictions in the Marvel Theory-Industrial Complex: what characters will appear, which comic book will be used as inspiration, and the overarching plot of the phase. Any theory video has to work with this timeline.

To make it into a video, a theory doesn’t have to be right; it just has to make enough sense to be plausible. One video, covering “Avengers: Endgame” just two months before release, listed 20 predictions. The description says that Screen Rant “gathered together some of the top Avengers: Endgame theories and check this out: a majority of them could be true!” Only six turned out to be correct.

Easter egg videos give viewers the payoff without the work

In 2019, Disney made up almost 40% of the US box office, with “Avengers: Endgame” becoming the highest-grossing movie of all time. The theory videos within the Marvel Theory-Industrial Complex are essentially free advertising for Disney, as channels often upload multiple videos a day with view counts in the hundreds of thousands or more.

New Rockstars, a single channel with over 2 million subscribers, has published almost 100 videos about the MCU since the most recent movie was released. Some of them are as short as five minutes, like one discussing deleted scenes from “Spider-Man: Far From Home.” Others cover a range of topics and can be almost an hour long, about half the time of a Marvel movie.

Spiderman Far From Home EXTENDED Cut Deleted Scenes!

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The second cycle of a comic book movie, explanation, begins after the movie hits theaters. Channels will rush to get their video out as soon as possible, while simultaneously attempting to catch every detail. Marvel purposefully adds “Easter eggs” for fans to discover upon rewatches. Kevin Feige, the president of Marvel Studios, said that some Easter eggs “tie back to 10 movies ago” and can be noticed only “if you’ve been tracking them very closely.”

Watching an Easter egg explanation video acts as a shortcut to that process, making the movie feel rewarding without having to find all the hidden moments yourself. A video from ScreenCrush with almost 12 million views, released the same day as “Avengers: Endgame,” showcased 209 Easter eggs.

The Marvel Theory-Industrial Complex will frequently overcompensate during this process, “finding” Easter eggs in places where there are none. For years, there have been rumors surrounding Nova, a fan favorite from the comics who has yet to appear on the screen. The rumors consistently say he will make his appearance in the next movie, from “Guardians of the Galaxy,” to “Captain Marvel,” to “Endgame,” yet he never does. After the release of “Endgame,” the directors joked that you could see Nova if you looked closely at the background of the final battle scene. Hundreds of videos were made about his secret cameo, with many claiming to find him. When the directors later clarified that no such cameo existed, more videos were made to explain why.

31 Details You Might Have Missed In ‘Avengers: Endgame’ (Spoilers!)

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YouTube videos hyping and dissecting Marvel movies turn them into events

The constant obsession over the minutiae of the franchise echoes recent criticisms from Martin Scorsese, who called Marvel movies “worldwide audiovisual entertainment” to be seen as events, rather than cinema. In addition to the regular prediction and explanation videos about the MCU, channels started posting videos explaining Scorsese’s criticism. Most of them, for obvious reasons, thought he was wrong.

But within the Marvel Theory-Industrial Complex, viewing a movie as an event is a plus. The wait time until the next movie is usually the first thing a video will discuss, counting down the days until everyone finally gets to know what happens. If a Marvel movie is a ride at a theme park, as Scorsese has compared them, the theory videos are chatter from other people standing in line. You talk about what you have heard, get excited for how great the ride will be, and all finally get on together. The difference is, the Marvel line takes months to get through, and once you reach the end you start standing in a new one.

That feeling is part of the reason critics thought “superhero-movie fatigue” was on the horizon for years, but the pendulum has failed to swing in the opposite direction. Instead, the videos keep fans invested even when there is nothing to discuss, and some fans are prepared to wait in lines for the rest of their lives.

Every Marvel Studios MCU Film in Development From 2020 to 2028

www.youtube.com

A video titled “Every Marvel Studios MCU Film in Development From 2020 to 2028” shows the host sitting in a gaming chair, with the screens for both his PC and PlayStation glowing behind him. The channel has almost half a million subscribers and talks exclusively about comic book movies. “Let’s go over everything we know is coming, what I think is going to happen, and how much bigger the MCU is going to get in the next decade,” he says.

This is the logical endpoint of the Marvel theory phenomenon, stretching the prediction timeline so far into the future that the year itself seems like science fiction. To put these predictions into perspective, a baby born tomorrow would be in the second grade in 2028, just in time to see the Silver Surfer reboot the video envisions. After two more presidential terms, fans expect to see the Marvel machine still running as it always has.

This article originally appeared on Insider. Follow @thisisinsider on Twitter.

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7 features that would make military games more realistic

Look, video games are awesome and military video games are doubly so. But video game companies are not even trying to capture real deployed life. As they continue bragging about their realistic sound effects and HD graphics, here are 9 features that would actually help gamers get a real combat experience.


1. Make players rehearse a mission four times and then send them on a different one.

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H
Photo: US Army Sgt. Joseph Guenther

The player is briefed on a mission to capture or kill a high-value target. They have to watch a rehearsal on a sand table, then practice in an open field, and finally they assault some fake buildings with their squad to be sure everyone is on the same page.

They climb onto the birds but halfway to the target are diverted to capture an undefended dam before terrorists can blow it up. The player’s squad defends it for three days against nothing before returning to base. A friendly engineer squad then blows up the dam.

2. All calls for fire take at least 10 minutes and miss the first three times.

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H
Rockets aim at objective B, hit objective B on the first try. I’m calling B-S. Photo: Youtube

Artillery units rarely hit their target on the first try in the real world and even airstrikes have trouble getting it right a lot of times. Yet video games which allow a player to call in an airstrike always show rounds cascading down on the exact spot the player asks for.

Instead, the player should have to adjust fire over three or four iterations before actually killing anything. They should also have to wait at least 10 minutes from the first call until the fire mission is fired and rounds begin falling on the target.

3. Random mistakes by other members of your team.

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H
Characters should fall over stuff like this guy did. But because they tripped, not because they died like this guy. Photo: Youtube

Every once in a while, a squad mate should get their gear stuck on a door handle, trip on their own rucksack strap, or slip on a wet spot in the ground and fall. The player has to decide whether to help their buddy or continue firing at the enemy while attempting to stifle their laughter.

4. Include a 40-lb haptic bodysuit that punches you when you’re shot.

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H
Photo: US Army Maj. Penny Zamora

When the player is going into battle, they’re usually wearing a hoodie, some boxers, and a fine layer of chip crumbs. But soldiers wear 40 pounds of armor plus whatever other gear they’re carrying at that moment. So, players should be given a vest that weighs as much as the armor.

As an added bonus, motors and weights could be used to punch the player where their character was just shot. And they could carry an 8-pound controller.

5. Your inventory always includes at least 3 items you’ll never use.

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H
Photo: YouTube

The player should have a limited inventory space, some of which is taken up with “just-in-case” items that never get used. It could be gas masks, backup batteries, whatever. If the player tries to throw them away, the items show up on later patrols as booby traps.

6. Weapon misfires

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H
Photo: US Army Spc. Marcus Floyd

Anytime the player crawls through mud or sand, it should increase the chance that their weapon misfires. Every 100 rounds without a cleaning should increase the chance of a misfire as well.

7. Can only level up after passing a PT test and reciting random facts from memory

10 things you never knew about M*A*S*H

After the player completes a few missions while exhausted from the countless rehearsals in the heavy bodysuit, overcomes misfires at critical moments, and has proven their ability to carry around useless equipment, they should be given the opportunity to level up.

To get selected for the higher level, they just have to score in at least the 80th percentile on a physical training test and recite the muzzle velocities of at least three weapons. Otherwise, the player is sent back to the tent to study. It doesn’t matter what their kill-to-death ratio is. Side note: KTD ratios are not a thing either.