The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th - We Are The Mighty
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The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

Well, there’s no two ways about it, ladies and gents: this has been a hell of a week. The situation in Syria escalated and the one in Korea calmed. We came together to pay our respects to the most beloved figure in the veteran community only to have a t-rex puppet come and fracture us in two again.


Can’t we all just get along again and remember how much we miss being deployed because the tax-free income was beautiful? Probably not.

Just don’t do anything stupid today if you’re still on active duty. Five bucks says that there will be a 100-percent-accountability urinalysis on Monday.

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

(Terminal Lance)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

(WATM)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

(Decelerate Your Life)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

(/r/Military)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

(Untied Status Marin Crops)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

(WATM)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

(PNN)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

(Untied Status Marin Crops)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

(Military Memes)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

(Army as F*ck)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

(The Salty Soldier)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

(Disgruntled Vets)

Soon, this won’t be a joke.

When that moment comes, you know my ass will be first in line at the prior service recruiter’s office.

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

(Pop Smoke)

Articles

Russia just scrambled fighters to intercept an American bomber

Russia has recently been in the news for its aggressive bomber patrols. Well, the United States has apparently flipped the script with the Russians and done a little bomber patrolling of its own.


According to a report by Reuters, at least one Sukhoi Su-27 Flanker was scrambled to intercept a Air Force B-52H Stratofortress that was flying in international airspace over the Baltic Sea along Russia’s border.

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
An underside view of a Soviet Su-27 Flanker aircraft carrying air-to-air missiles. (DOD photo)

Russia Today reported that the B-52 intercept was followed by Moscow scrambling a MiG-31 Foxhound to intercept a Norwegian P-3 Orion maritime patrol aircraft. The Norwegian plane was operating in international airspace over the Barents Sea, a location where Russia deploys its force of nuclear-powered ballistic missile submarines. The Russian media outlet also noted that NATO is conducting exercises in Romania.

Russia has carried out a number of similar operations against the United States, Japan, and Europe, prompting their own fighter alerts and intercepts. Russia has usually used the Tu-95 “Bear” bomber capable of firing cruise missiles, like the AS-15, in these missions.

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
Photo: US Air Force Senior Airman Brittany Y. Bateman

Russia has also intercepted a U.S. Navy aircraft in recent weeks, with the Russian fighter coming to within 20 feet of the P-8 Poseidon maritime patrol aircraft. That encounter was reportedly considered “safe” and “professional” by the Navy. Other incidents, including the buzzing of the Arleigh Burke-class guided-missile destroyer USS Porter (DDG 78), have drawn protests from the Navy.

The B-52H has been part of America’s arsenal since 1961. According to an Air Force fact sheet, 58 B-52s are in the active inventory, with another 18 in reserve. The B-52 has a top speed of 650 miles per hour, an unrefueled range of 8,800 miles, and can carry up to 70,000 pounds of nuclear or conventional ordnance, including long-range cruise missiles like the AGM-86. It is expected to remain in service until 2040.

Articles

US sends carrier strike group to mix it up in the South China Sea

The US Navy’s Carrier Strike Group 1 recently arrived in the South China Sea to promote freedom of travel on the high seas, as China tightens its grip on the region with its increasingly potent navy.


The strike group includes the aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson, an entire destroyer squadron, and an additional Arleigh Burke class destroyer.

A US Navy carrier strike group represents one of the most powerful naval units in the world, and China has taken notice.

Related: What it might look like if an American and Chinese carrier went toe-to-toe

“China respects and upholds the freedom of navigation and overflight in the South China Sea, which countries enjoy under international law, but firmly opposes any country’s attempt to undermine China’s sovereignty and security in the name of the freedom of navigation and overflight,” said Geng Shuang, a spokesman China’s Foreign Ministry, according to CNN.

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
An SH-60F Sea Hawk helicopter assigned to Helicopter Anti-Submarine Squadron 15 flies past the Nimitz-class aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson during an air power demonstration. | US Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class James R. Evans

Indeed, China’s military doctrine even goes as far as permitting a first strike against threats to China’s sovereignty, but the USS Carl Vinson has been operating in the South China Sea for decades.

But the move to promote freedom of navigation in the South China Sea comes as China has all but nailed down the region as firmly within its control. China owns a series of artificial islands, which satellite images show it has militarized with missile launchers and radar outposts.

The US takes no side in the dispute between China and six other nations over who owns what in the region but has repeatedly expressed interest in preserving freedom of navigation in an area with vast oil reserves and about $5 trillion in annual shipping.

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
USS Ronald Reagan steams in formation with ships from Carrier Strike Group Five and the Republic of Korea Navy during exercise Invincible Spirit, October 2016. | US Navy photo by Petty Officer 3rd Class Nathan Burke

At an Association of Southeast Asian Nations summit on Sunday, leaders from the region tried to develop a framework for a code of conduct in the heavily contested South China Sea, but found the process “has become virtually moot and academic,” former Philippines National Security Adviser Roilo Golez told ABS-CBN news

“I expect China to still resist the finalization and approval (of a code of conduct) so that China can further militarize the artificial islands with the placement of offensive medium-range and long-range missiles,” said Golez.

The US deployment to the South China Sea comes just days after Chinese warships withdrew from military drills in the region.

MIGHTY HISTORY

This MoH recipient led one of the most successful hand-to-hand assaults in WWII

Inspired by a WWI veteran, Robert Nett joined the Connecticut National Guard in 1941. Soon after, his unit was activated, and Nett found himself fighting in the South Pacific.


By the winter of 1944, Nett had led several attacks on Japanese forces in the Philippine islands and was already considered a seasoned combat veteran.

But one battle that took place on the island of Leyte proved to be one of Nett’s most significant accomplishments and one of the bloodiest.

Related: This is the only living African-American from WW2 to earn MoH

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
(Source: Medal of Honor Book/ Screenshot)

Two platoons were ordered to engage the enemy at once; the first stormed toward the Japanese at full force as the second gave “support-by-fire” position in the rear.

As Nett and the first platoon advanced, they slid Bangalore charges through the enemies’ barb wired defense system, clearing their path. The flamethrowers operators then crawled through the detonated gaps and incinerated the enemy forces, allowing allied troops to create a stable foothold for themselves.

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
A flamethrower operator doing what they do best.

Nett’s objective was to clear a sizeable fortified enemy building just up ahead. He called to the forward observer to light the area up with 105mm shells to break the structure’s exterior security.

Just as the shells struck the building, Nett took a surprising neck wound — his jugular vein had been nicked.

Ignoring the pulsating wound, Nett crawled from squad-to-squad while engaging enemy that appeared nearby. Nett decided that it was time for him and his men to fix their bayonets.

With adrenaline pumping through their veins, Nett and his fellow soldiers carefully dashed toward their objective. Nett moved his machine gun teams to their new fighting positions while dangerously engaging the enemy in close quarter combat along the way. At that time, he took another enemy round, this time to his chest — collapsing a lung.

Also Read: This Vietnam War vet will receive MoH for saving 10 soldiers

Continuing to advance, Nett’s men made it to the fortified structure and burnt that sucker to the ground — mission complete.

Nett then noticed his feet were getting heavy as his internal blood loss appeared to be collecting there. He was wounded three times before returning to the rear for treatment.

He was awarded the Medal of Honor for his bravery in battle on Feb. 8, 1946, in his birthplace of New Haven, Connecticut.

Check out Medal of Honor Book’s video below to hear this incredible story from the legend himself.

Medal of Honor Book, YouTube
Articles

DoD reveals Operation Inherent Resolve Medal for campaign against ISIS

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
Operation Inherent Resolve Medal | Image courtesy Defense Department


Thousands of U.S. troops who have deployed in support of the mission against the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria, or ISIS, are now eligible for a new medal, officials announced.

Defense Secretary Ashton Carter made announced the creation of the Operation Inherent Resolve medal during a change of command ceremony on Wednesday at U.S. Central Command at MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa, Florida.

Carter segued into the announcement while noting that CentCom’s outgoing leader, ArmyGen. Lloyd Austin, and his successor, Army Gen. Joe Votel, have both “across their careers … demonstrated what can be described as inherent resolve.

“It is fitting then, that as we mark the change of command between these two leaders, that we introduce today the Inherent Resolve Campaign Medal,” the secretary said.

“I am pleased to announce today, by the president’s order and upon [Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Gen.  Joseph Dunford Jr.] and my recommendation, that our sailors, soldiers,airmen, and Marines serving in Iraq and Syria as part of Operation Inherent Resolve are eligible for this medal and distinction,” he added.

“As we continue to accelerate our counter-ISIL campaign, we will continue to depend upon the men and women of CentCom,” Carter said. “It is you who provide us the flexibility to respond to any threat across a critical region.”

President Barack Obama on Wednesday issued an executive order establishing the medal to service members who “serve or have served in Iraq, Syria, or contiguous waters or airspace on or after June 15, 2014.”

With the operation still going on, an end-date for medal eligibility has yet to be established.

To qualify for the new medal, a service member must have been present in Iraq, Syria or the contiguous waters or airspace of either country on or after June 15, 2014, for at least 30 consecutive or 60 non-consecutive days, according to the Defense Department.

Service members who were killed or were medically evacuated from the campaign theater due to wounds or injuries immediately qualify for award, as do members who engaged in combat.

Troops awarded the Global War on Terrorism Expeditionary Medal for their service in Iraq and Syria after the start of Operation Inherent Resolve remain qualified for the older medal. They can apply to their military branch to be awarded the new medal, but may not receive both medals for the same act, achievement or period of service, officials said.

Service members serving deployed outside of Iraq and Syria for Operation Inherent Resolve will continue to be awarded the expeditionary medal.

MIGHTY TRENDING

The Navy will now fly Super Hornets until the 2040s

The Navy budget gives the service its long-sought-after F/A-18 Super Hornet increase by adding 14 fighters and more than $1 billion in procurement funds — all as part of a sweeping effort to increase the F-18 fleet size, meet mission requirements, accommodate new technologies, and ultimately fly alongside the F-35C through the 2040s.


Given the recent war-driven op-tempo involving global deployments and air strikes on ISIS, most of the F/A-18 E/F fleet, on average, has already consumed more half of its 6,000-flight hour expected service life. As a result, there has been a long-standing, multi-year Navy effort to acquire new F/A-18s in larger numbers to address urgent needs from combatant commanders.

Also read: This is the inside story behind the F-18 Super Hornet’s first enemy jet kill

When the F/A-18A and F/A-18C reach 8,000 flight hours, they are sent to the depot for service life extension upgrades with the hope of getting the airframes to 10,000 hours. However, many of the older aircraft are in need of substantial repairs and, in recent years, a large percentage of the Navy’s fleet of older Hornets have not been in service.

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
Two U.S. Navy F/A-18 Super Hornets of Strike Fighter Squadron 31 fly a combat patrol over Afghanistan, Dec. 15, 2008. (Staff Sgt. Aaron Allmon, U.S. Air Force)

“Extension of legacy Hornet life requires additional inspections and deep maintenance that were not originally envisioned for the aircraft. Average repair time has significantly increased because of required engineering of unanticipated repairs, material lead times, and increased corrosion of airframes,” the Navy budget document writes.

As part of a specific effort to address this scenario, the Navy’s new budget request increases fund for civilian maintenance personnel hiring, depot-level maintenance work, and sustainment initiatives. The goal of this, according to Navy budget documents, is to “decrease the time to complete depot level maintenance caused by the number of high flight hours.”

Related: Watch this crazy video of a Navy F-18 intercepting a UFO

Navy officials have told Warrior Maven that modifications include replacing the center barrel (section) and ensuring the airframe structures achieve 100% service life. Additional modifications increase the total landing limit and modifications to catapult attachment components can be incorporated to extend total catapults, service developers have described.

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
A US Navy F/A-18F Super Hornet, Strike Fighter Squadron 41. (TSGT Rob Tabor, U.S. Air Force)

A carrier air wing consists of about 44 strike aircraft made up of two 10-aircraft squadrons and two 12-plane squadrons complemented by several electrical jamming aircraft.

More: Coming to a highway near you: Finnish F-18s

The current composition of most carrier-based air wings includes 24 Super Hornets and 20 Hornets, however the Navy plans to replace some of its existing Hornets with F-35Cs. Although the budget does increase F-35C acquisition as well, the emergence of the carrier-launched stealth fighter will not remove combatant commanders need for the F-18.

The Navy had been planning for the Super Hornets to serve well into the 2030s, but now service leaders say that timeline will need to extend into the 2040s.

The Navy plans to acquire as many as 60 new F-35C aircraft over the next five years, according to the service budget request.

Articles

The most damaging spy in US history just walked free

Jonathan Pollard, the most damaging spy in U.S. history, was sentenced to life in prison in 1987 for passing documents to Israel. After thirty years in jail, he was released on parole to great fanfare from his wife, the government in Israel, and the American pro-Israel lobby. According to Pollard’s lawyers, he will be required to wear an electronic bracelet so his movements can be monitored at all times and his computers and those of any employer who hires him will be subjected to “unfettered monitoring and inspection.”


Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu called the release “a dream come true” and that “the people of Israel welcome his release.” The PM’s office restricted celebrations of his release in hopes the American government will allow him to travel to Israel sooner.

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
Pollard released this photo with his wife, Esther.

While Israel is an American ally and has access to a lot of American intelligence, the information provided by Pollard to Israel is said to have caused grave damage to the national security of the United States.  The information was so damaging, when President Ronald Reagan’s Secretary of Defense, Caspar Weinberger, presented an assessment of Pollard’s spying to the presiding judge in his trial, the judge threw out Pollard’s plea deal and threw the book at him and his wife.

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

Weinberger said he sought to “dispel any presumption that disclosures to an ally are insignificant; to the contrary, substantial and irrevocable damage has been done to this nation.”

The most damaging release included the 10-volume Radio and Signal Intelligence [RASIN] manual, aka “the Bible,” detailing the entire U.S. global listening profile, “frequency by frequency, source by source, geographic slice by geographic slice. RASIN was in effect, a complete roadmap to American signal intelligence.” The manual revealed which communications channels of which powers, in which regions, the NSA was intercepting and in what order of priority, providing insight on where and what actions the U.S. military might take next.

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
Pollard caught stealing documents on camera.

The memo said many documents the spy gave the Israelis included details on sourcing and the identifications of U.S. agents abroad. Among other information Pollard admits giving to Israel:

  • Detailed information about a Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO) HQ in Tunisia
  • Iraqi and Syrian chemical warfare factory locations and production capabilities
  • Regular PLO operations plans
  • Soviet arms shipments to Arab states unfriendly to Israel
  • Soviet fighter jet information
  • Information about Pakistani nuclear weapons programs

“Unauthorized disclosures to friendly powers may cause as great a harm to the national security as to hostile powers because, once the information is removed from secure control systems, there is no enforceable requirement nor any incentive to provide effective controls for its safekeeping,” the memo read.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itIwrWPQ00E

The CIA believes the information Pollard gave them might have been traded to the Soviet Union in exchange for looser travel restrictions of Russian Jews trying to emigrate to Israel.

Pollard claimed he was acting in a sense of altruism and loyalty toward Israel. Yet, In an exhaustive 1987 report, NCIS investigator Ron Olive alleged Pollard passed material on to South Africa and tried to pass it on to Pakistan as well. He took intelligence documents about China which his wife used to advance her business interests. He passed No Foreign Access (NOFORN) information on to an Australian Navy officer.The government’s case against Pollard included unsuccessful attempts to broker arms deals with South Africa, Argentina, Taiwan, Pakistan, and Iran. And for all of Pollard’s altruism, he accepted more than $30,000 in cash and luxury items from Israel in exchange for information.

Many former Department of Defense officials are against his release. Some prominent Jewish-American figures are against it. Even once-ardent supporters of Pollard disagree with the timing. Ron Olive, the NCIS investigator who caught Pollard after he handed more than a million documents to Israeli agents over 18 months, believes the spy should stay in jail. So does Vice-President Joe Biden. Then-CIA director George Tenet threatened his resignation if President Clinton released Pollard in the late 1990s.

Articles

Oldest American WWII veteran dies at 110

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
(Photo: USA Today)


Frank Levingston, the oldest living World War II veteran, died on May 3 in Bossier Parish, Louisiana. He was 110 years old, which also made him the oldest living man in the United States.

According to his wikipedia page, he was born on November 13, 1905 in North Carolina, one of seven children. Levingston enlisted in the US Army in 1942. He served as private during the war in the Allied invasion of Italy which lasted from September 1943 to January 1944. After receiving an honorable discharge in 1945, he became a union worked specializing in cement finishing. He never married.

On August 16, 2015, he became the oldest recognized living military veteran in the United States, following the death of Emma Didlake.

“I’ve been through so many dangerous things and I’m still here. I’m thankful to the almighty God for it,” Levingston said in an interview with WTVR marking his 110th birthday. “I think I’m one of the blessed ones.”

Pamela Gobert, one of Levingston’s good friends, said in that interview: “He’s always got a kind word and he lets me know that sometimes it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish,” said Gobert. “One time we were at Memorial and a young lady asked him ‘Mr. Frank how old are you going to live?’ and he said ‘110.’”  He was right.

In December of 2015, he went on an honor flight to Washington, D.C. – it was his first time to ever visit the nation’s capital and war monuments. He helped to mark Pearl Harbor Day by taking part in a wreath-laying ceremony at the World War II Monument.  He was unable to meet the President but did meet representatives of his state.

(Watch footage of his visit here.)

Levingston, a member of the Greatest Generation who had little formal education, gave his most valuable lesson in life: “Be honest. That’s about all I can tell you.”

Articles

The 13 funniest military memes of the week

Memes, safety briefs, and release formation. It’s Friday!


1. Got stuck on staff duty this weekend?

(via Ranger Up)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
Print out this meme and tape it over the sergeant major’s photo.

2. Air Force sick call:

(via Military Memes)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

SEE ALSO: 5 real-world covert operations in FX’s ‘Archer’

3. Sorry about getting this song stuck in your head (via MARS Special Operations Group).

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

4. Someone doesn’t know the power of the knifehand (via Sh-t my LPO says).

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
Pretty sure he could part the waves if he would line up his thumb properly.

5. It’s not the size of the closet, it’s the work clothes inside.

(via Military Memes)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
Keep your Rolexes and Armani. It’s time for IR chemlights and Skilcraft.

6. The Army finally named combat gear in honor of noncombat soldiers.

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
Probably not the POGs’ first choice of honors, but they’ll get over it.

7. “Sweet, I only have to hold it for five more miles.”

(via Marine Corps Memes)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

8. Apparently, the uniform is a fashion statement.

(via Sh-t my LPO says)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
A really, really dumb fashion statement.

9. Not the most covert operation, but then you only have to trick the Coast Guard (via Coast Guard Memes).

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

10. The Air Force is where “glamping” started (via Marine Corps Memes).

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
Day one of every operation is making sure the couches don’t clash with the drapes.

11. Not the most convincing acting, but maybe chief won’t look closely (via Air Force Nation).

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
He’ll probably just be mad you’re on his grass.

12. Good luck, buddy (via Air Force Memes Humor).

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
This will be especially fun when dress uniforms are involved.

13. This is why people join the Air Force:

(via Air Force Nation)

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
Sure, you get made fun of, but you also get to be happy sometimes.

MIGHTY TRENDING

The Air Force is offering a huge bonus to their ‘bomb squad’

The Air Force has been granted an exception to policy enabling it to offer Selective Retention Bonuses to a wider population of Explosive Ordnance Disposal senior noncommissioned officers, if they agree to continue serving in EOD for a minimum of three years.

The Air Force is offering this SRB instead of a Critical Skills Retention Bonus to SNCOs who have completed more than 20 but less than 25 years of active duty and who serve as EOD specialists in Air Force Specialty Code 3E8X1. The bonus amount for a three-year service agreement is $30,000. The amount for four years is $50,000 and a five-year service agreement is $75,000.


“The SRB program is a monetary incentive paid to airmen serving in certain selected critical military skills who reenlist for additional obligated service,” said Edgar Holt, Reenlistments Program Manager at the Air Force’s Personnel Center. “The bonus is intended to encourage qualified enlisted personnel to reenlist in areas where we have retention shortfalls or high training costs.”

U.S. Air Force: Explosive Ordnance Disposal

youtu.be

Under this new authority, master sergeants who accept an SRB at 20 years of Total Active Federal Military Service or more may have their high year of tenure adjusted up to 25 years. Senior master sergeants who accept an SRB at 20 years TAFMS or more may have their HYT adjusted up to 28 years.

“In order to extend and receive this SRB, airmen must have a service-directed retainability requirement such as Post 9/11 GI Bill transfer, (date estimated return from overseas) extension or permanent change of station, for example,” Holt said.

This bonus is effective Jan. 29, 2019, and retroactive payments are not authorized. For more information regarding the SRB program, visit the myPers website or contact your local Military Personnel Flight Career Development section.

This article originally appeared on the United States Air Force. Follow @usairforce on Twitter.

MIGHTY TRENDING

Another US Marine helicopter just made emergency landing

A U.S. military helicopter made an emergency landing Jan. 8 in Japan’s Okinawa islands, the second such incident in three days.


A Marine Corps AH-1 attack helicopter with two people aboard landed in a field at a waste disposal site in the town of Yomitan on Okinawa’s main island, according to Japanese media reports. No injuries were reported.

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
An AH-1Z Viper helicopter. (U.S. Marine Corps Photo by Sgt. Alex Kouns)

Photos showed an apparently intact helicopter parked in a grassy area.

The U.S. side told police that a warning light had indicated a problem with the aircraft, public broadcaster NHK said.

The Marines said in a statement that the helicopter had been repaired and would return to base as quickly as possible.

“We remain committed to both the safety of our neighbors in the communities in which we live and the safety of the Marines who fly on our aircraft,” it said.

Also Read: So, parts of our helicopters are falling on children now

A Marines Corps UH-1Y helicopter made an emergency landing on a beach in Okinawa on Jan. 6 because its rotor appeared to be spinning too fast. No one was injured, but military personnel could be seen removing a large part of the rotor the next day and carting it away.

The incidents are the latest in a series that have inflamed Okinawan opposition to the large U.S. military presence on the southern Japan island chain.

In separate incidents in December 2017, parts fell from U.S. military helicopters onto schools in Okinawa. One boy had minor injuries after an emergency escape window fell from a CH-53 transport helicopter into a school playground in Ginowan city. The school is next to Marine Corps Air Station Futenma.

MIGHTY TRENDING

This Army officer changed her focus from nuclear warfare to comedy

Marine veteran James P. Connolly (Sirius/XM Radio, Comics Unleashed) hosted the 6th Annual Veteran’s Day Benefit Comedy Show “Cocktails Camouflage” at Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank, California in early November.


All funds raised were donated to Veterans in Film Television (VFT), a non-profit networking organization that unites current and former members of the military working in film and television and offers the entertainment industry the opportunity to connect with and hire veterans.
In this episode, US Army vet Katie Robinson riffs on her experience as a theater major serving in Iraq.
Articles

Bombs away! Here are the 13 worst military movies in Hollywood history

Not all war movies are created equal. While box office returns don’t necessarily mean the movie was good or bad (for example, Iron Man 3 is the 10th highest grossing movie ever), they are an indication of what does or doesn’t pique people’s interest – although you might personally find a correlation between the two in this list.


The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
You can blame Colin Farrell for both. (Warner Bros.)

Here are 13 military movies Hollywood probably wishes it could take back in order of the least to the worst offenders. (Loss estimates include marketing costs and adjustments for inflation.)

13. Battleship (2012)

Box Office Loss: $60 million

How could Director Peter Berg have known casting Rihanna was not the best idea? When the audience and critics think the movie is “not fun,” “crushingly stupid,” and would prefer to spend the time actually playing the game instead. And word of mouth didn’t save it at the box office.

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
Somebody thought this was a good idea. (Photo: Universal)

Peter Berg told The Hollywood Reporter that his 2013 film “Lone Survivor” would allow him to “buy back his reputation.”

12. Gods and Generals (2003)

Loss $61 million

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
These are actually Civil War reenactors… and probably the only people who paid to see the movie. (Photo: Warner Bros.)

Roger Ebert called “Gods and Generals” a film “Trent Lott would enjoy,” referring to the Senator’s praise of segregationist Strom Thurmond. Noted author Jeff Shaara, whose Civil War-based books are highly praised and widely read, said the movie is nothing like his book and he has no idea how he could “let them butcher the book like that.” (But that didn’t keep him from holding onto the money he was paid for the film rights to the book).

11. Revolution (1985)

Loss: $62 million

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
Pacino is seen here being escorted off of the ship and out of movies altogether. (Photo: Warner Bros.)

This movie is so bad, Al Pacino quit acting for four years.

10. Aloha (2015)

Loss: $65 million

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
Which is worse: Chris Kyle at the Democratic Convention or Chris Kyle in an Air Force uniform? (Columbia Pictures/20th Century Fox)

Air Force movies don’t do well at the box office. No one has expressed a desire to see an Air Force movie since Gene Hackman and Danny Glover in “BAT*21,” and that was 1988. Someone should have told Cameron Crowe to make this movie about Marines … and not to cast Emma Stone as an Asian woman.

9. The Finest Hours (2016)

Loss: $75 million

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
If everyone in the Coast Guard bought a ticket, then bought the DVD twice, they might make another Coast Guard movie. (U.S. Coast Guard photo)

This movie was a true story, so just making the Coast Guard into Marines wouldn’t work. But traditionally, Coast Guard movies aren’t a box office draw either. Ask Ashton Kutcher.

8. K-19: The Widowmaker (2002)

Loss: $88 million

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
They really don’t belong on this list. (Paramount)

This might be the exception on this list. “K-19” was actually well-received, even by Russian submariners who were part of K-19’s crew. The only thing the Russian Navy veterans didn’t like was being portrayed as a bunch of drunken, incompetent Russian stereotypes.

7. Alexander (2004)

Loss: $89 million

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
Awkward family photo. (Photo: Warner Bros.)

Like the great general himself, “Alexander” enraged people from Greece all the way to India. Historians and critics both agree that this movie is both way too long and needs more fighting — unless those critics and moviegoers are American, in which case, the biggest concern seems to be that Alexander the Great might have been gay.

6. The Great Raid (2005)

Loss: $91 million

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
You know, this movie is also too good to be on this list. (Miramax)

This is the story of the Raid at Cabanatuan on the island of Luzon in the Philippines during WWII. General Roger Ebert praised the film, saying “Here is a war movie that understands how wars are actually fought.”

Of course, Ebert was never a general, he’s just referring to the realistic depiction of combat in the film. He also said, “it is good to have a film that is not about entertainment for action fans, but about how wars are won with great difficulty, risk, and cost.”

5. Inchon (1982)

Loss: $100 million

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
And the movie poster looks like a bad Choose Your Own Adventure book or a good Atari game.

There’s no movie magic like a Korean War epic funded by a cult. The film’s star told the world he did it for the money, the actress portraying the love interest decided to quit being a movie star after shooting wrapped, and the movie’s Washington, D.C. premiere was picketed by anti-cult activists.

“Inchon” was never released on video or DVD. When Ronald Reagan screened it at the White House, all he could say was “For once we’re the good guys and the Communists are the villains.” It’s the little things.

4. Windtalkers (2002)

Loss: $107 million

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
This is how you feel watching this movie. (Photo: MGM)

Called one of the most inaccurate war movies ever made, “Windtalkers” also tries to tell the story of WWII Navajo code talkers through the eyes of a white guy. (Come to think of it, it’s actually surprising that here’s only one Nicolas Cage movie on this list).

3. Stealth (2005)

Loss: $116 million

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th

A robot plane (stop laughing) is based in downtown Rangoon (which hasn’t been called that since 1989). After it’s hit by lighting, it becomes more alive (stop laughing, this is serious) and one of the pilots trying to stop it gets shot down over North Korea. Some more stuff happens, and then they discover the plane has feelings.

2. The Alamo (2004)

Loss: $118 million

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
Donald Trump’s vision (Photo: Touchstone Pictures)

The marketing for this movie used the line “you will never forget.” And you won’t. You’ll remember how great this movie could have been if every character had been played by Billy Bob Thornton. “The Alamo” is number 2 on this list, but number 1 in terms of epic disappointment.

1. Hart’s War (2002)

Loss: $125 million

The 13 funniest memes for the week of April 20th
He the one behind the fence, but the viewer is the one who feels trapped during this movie. (MGM/Fox)

Colin Farrell strikes again. Even Bruce Willis couldn’t create any interest in this WWII movie. Basically, a captured American officer is punished in the POW camp by having to bunk with the enlisted. The prisoners use a trial to distract the guards from a coming attack on an ammo factory.

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