With everyone hating on some ignorant teacher for sh*t-talking the troops or an Airman for making a horrible rant video, can’t we all just band back together and hate on the real enemy? Tom Brady. So we’ll mock him. Because he can take it.
13. There’s always one in every unit.
12. We’re also experts at drinking until 0500, sneaking guests past the gate in car trunks, and putting bullets in things.
11. You wanna play chicken? I’ll play chicken.
10. “Hey, uh, Sergeant? The blinker fluid exists and is leaking.”
9. Perfect for the troop trying to leave the barracks.
8. For Mattis so loved the Corps that he gave his only begotten f*ck. Mattis 3:16
7. Even with all of his faults, he was at least very professional.
6. Shhh…no one tell the largest amphibious landing force about missing the largest amphibious landing. (D-Day landing at Normandy)
5. Ever hear a duck quack his last quack?
4. Next thing you know you’ll get a tactical drone strike to the face for liking your ex’s selfie.
3. You hear that, guys? Some d*ckhead with a bachelor’s degree and four counts of administrative leave thinks “Uncle Sam’s College Scholarship Program” is full of idiots.
2. Not only is the green grass growing, but we’re also helping lower the Global Eco-Footprint. One terrorist at a time.
1. Apparently they don’t keep every beep at a specific interval. Starts out every 2 seconds but it changes up later.