Today's special offer is guaranteed to keep women's hands off of you, or your money back.
This guarantee not guaranteed, please don't contact our legal department for more information.
Here at the Mighty Value Center, we provide only the best quality, top-of-the-line products developed from extensive research on the front lines and delivered right to your door.
Military scientists have spent more than a modest amount of brain power trying to figure out why they repel women so effectively when they realized that the answer was literally staring them in the face.
Veteran salesman J.P. Connolly brings you Birth Control Glasses. Watch the women stampede in the opposite direction from your face when you wear this specially designed cranial birth control.
Never touch a woman again with these Birth Control Glasses!
Act now! Supplies are limited.