It’s the second week of January and the gym seems to be about back to normal.
The weather is getting there, so take advantage of drawing d*cks in the snow while you can. Looking at you, Navy.
13. “But the Marines took a lot of little islands!” — “We took a lot of little countries.”
12. Pick something that has a weak enough scent that whatever you mix it in will over power it (like rum in a coke) and sip from it all day.
11. “I keep paying $20 towards it a month. Why does it keep going up?”
10. The PX barbershop only ever gives, like, four or five different haircuts. And yet they f*ck them all up.
9. If a girl in a bikini can get 10,000+ likes, how many can we get for our homeless veterans?
8. Since it’s the same four HDDs floating around, that means you probably re-downloaded the same videos at least twice by now…
7. “But Sergeant! I need you to-“
6. “Hearts and minds,” right? Two in the heart. One in the mind.
5. If the Coast Guard goes to the range more than you do, you’re a super POG.
4. Whatever you say, Staff Sergeant. Your neckline can only help you out so much.
3. It’s even worse if you’re drunk.
2. Can’t tell which one gave the least amount of f*cks: the NCO who signed off on the original DA 5988-E or the mechanic that typed it up.
1. Looks like an ingenious plan but if he got locked in there that CBRN gear will be Hell.