MILITARY CULTURE

5 things to have in your home when you live off base

When a newlywed troop moves off base and bids a bittersweet farewell to the debauchery of barracks life, there are changes to the day-to-day routine. While one must still fulfill the responsibilities of their rank, there are other challenges a married troop will have to tackle.


The more obvious ones are waking up earlier to fight traffic, no more access to a meal card, and administrating bills that didn't exist before. To make your transition to a quasi-civilian life easier, there are a few essential items to have in your home that will help you focus more on mission accomplishment, enjoy quality time with your sweetheart, and maintain peace of mind while in the field or deployed.

1. A pull-up bar and dumbbells

There are plenty of pull-up bars on base and you'll more than likely have an opportunity to hit the gym because you're two hours early to formation to avoid a UA or AWOL charge because of bad traffic. However, you may not have the opportunity to work out in the mornings because of a hot-ticket task that requires the use of your otherwise-scheduled workout time. It'll devolve into a vicious cycle, resulting in no PT and the consequences that come with it.

You'll most likely be cut from work when rush hour hits and you'll have to make a decision: work out or work on your marriage. Luckily, if you have a pull-up bar at home, you can PT when you get there and do both. Dumbbells are another staple to have at home for a complete workout.

'Rah

2. Security cameras with network capabilities 

Although the majority of troops have a properly calibrated moral compass, it doesn't mean your civilian neighbors share your altruistic ideals. Security cameras are a good investment because you can check on your home from your mobile device at work or, if you have internet access, in the field. Peace of mind is expensive, but your odds of bringing a thief to justice increase exponentially with video footage.

3. Smart lightbulbs 

Imagine you're sitting there on your pack waiting for the trucks to pick you up on base when you suddenly have a realization: I left the lights on. If you have smart lightbulbs installed, you can turn them off using your phone remotely. I highly advise doing your brand research before you buy these bulbs because not all brands are safe to connect to your network at home. To put it simply, some companies do not want to invest in cybersecurity software for their products, and this can leave your network vulnerable to attack.

4. Robot vacuum cleaners

Replacing good, old-fashioned cleaning with technology is not immediately viable, but it's getting closer by the day. A robot vacuum cleaner can be set on a schedule to sweep up dust and light debris and will buy you some more precious time to prioritize on another task. You'll be able to give your home a thorough cleaning when you deem necessary. They work best on floors without carpet, but they can also operate well on short-length, fiber carpets.

5. A formal civilian wardrobe

We warriors love our comfortable clothing when we don't have to wear the uniform of the day. Your favorite shirt and jeans may cut it for most occasions because who cares what other people think? You're paying for the price of freedom and, dammit, you want to enjoy some of it from time to time.

While this line of thinking is admirable in most circles, there is a time and a place for everything. You don't necessarily have to have a closet full of suits, but a few slacks, button-up shirts, a sports coat, and a pair of dress shoes will go a long way for when you have to be somewhere important. Your wife will appreciate you taking the time to look nice when you have to be at an event that's important to her. Think about it, at your formal events, she always does her best to look her best — return the sentiment.

Jody doesn't have sh*t on this.

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6. Honorable mention: Stockpiled alcohol

The last time I made an article like this, I received some constructive criticism. I am a man who believes in giving the people what they want. So, here ya go.

The people have spoken