If you're considering joining the Army or you're sick of your current MOS and thinking of reclassing, there are so many options to chose from that it's a headache to decide.
Maybe you're picking your MOS based entirely off what you can get, maybe you're picking it off what would be best suited for your eventual transition back to the civilian world, or maybe you're following in the footsteps of someone you admire. For those that choose their MOS by counting "cool points," there's one MOS that towers them all: (13F) Fire Support Specialist, or 'Fister.'
These are the 5 reasons why you should enlist as a Fister:
1. The name is perfectly acceptable for use in polite company.
Derived from "Fire Support Team" or FiST, this MOS's name is the source of innumerable low-brow jokes in field artillery.
While everyone else watches their tongue, taking care not to offend, you get a free pass to say something that could be confused for a violent sex act every time you talk about work.
2. It's actually like Call of Duty, except you constantly get kill streak bonuses.
It happens at every recruitment station. There's always that one kid who comes in thinking he'll be living his favorite video game before he's struck with the harsh reality that life isn't a video game.
While other MOSs are less fun in real life — you can't just to wait behind a rock to heal and stealing enemy weapons is generally frowned upon — fisters have it better. They don't get told "sorry, you need to kill a few more bad guys before you can rain hell on your enemies." They just do it. It's their job.
3. You get paid to watch things go boom from a good, safe distance.
Speaking of raining hell on your enemies, that's what you'll be doing.
You'll be attached to whatever unit needs a guy to say, "that thing right there? I don't like it. Let's get rid of it with enough firepower to remove an entire grid-square off the map!" This means you'll be working with damn near everyone from Armor to Aviation to Infantry to Cavalry, all while being left alone to do your badassery.
4. All the benefits of being a grunt with less of the downsides.
There's a constant rivalry within the Army between grunt MOSs and the soft ones. Grunts mock others for being weak and POGs mock grunts for being idiots with relatively low promotion point standards.
Some MOSs are just handed the title of "grunt" and no one will ever question it, like infantry. Some have to earn the respect of other grunts to get it, like a hard-ass commo or medic. Then there's the fister. No one ever questions the balls it takes to be a fister.
They're out there kicking it with the infantry, while also having the brains to do advanced math on the fly to get the birds blowing up the right spot. Oh — and their promotion points are a lot lower, so you'll pick up rank faster than a POG.
5. SFC Jared C. Monti and SSG Ryan M. Pitts are some Bad. Mother. F*ckers.
In Afghanistan alone, two fisters have made their brothers proud by being awarded the Medal of Honor: Sergeant First Class Monti and Staff Sergeant Pitts.
Sergeant First Class Jared C. Monti received his Medal of Honor posthumously on Sept. 17, 2009 after his patrol was ambushed by around 60 Taliban fighters. He radioed in for artillery and close air support on their position, but it would take time for the heat to arrive. In the ensuing firefight, several of his men were struck by enemy fire. He was successful in getting recovering one of his men, but was gravely wounded in the process. When the artillery finally arrived, it took out 22 insurgents and dispersed the rest.
Staff Sergeant Ryan M. Pitts received his Medal of Honor when well over 200 Taliban forces swarmed his base at the Battle of Wanat in July, 2008. Though critically wounded by shrapnel, he continued to lay down suppressive fire until a two-man reinforcement team arrived. This bought him the time he needed to crawl to a radio, with no regard for his own life, so he could describe the attack to Command and call for indirect fire.
Featured image via Health.mil