The best and worst Air Force uniforms, ranked

The Air Force had a number of various uniforms even before its independent inception in 1947. The evolution was a long and sometimes painful (on the eyes) one. Wear of Air Force uniforms is pretty important to airmen, and is governed by Air Force Instruction (AFI) 36-2903, the only AFI most airmen know offhand. It also contains uniform requirements for the Civil Air Patrol as if the Civil Air Patrol counts as the military… I mean, its nice that perfect attendance is required for your “basic training” but call us when the UCMJ applies to you.

Seriously, look at this mess. Let's play a game: "Civil Air Patrol or Stolen Valor?"

Seriously, look at this mess. Let’s play a game: “Civil Air Patrol or Stolen Valor?”

The Air Force officially ended wear of olive green dress uniforms in 1952, switching over to distinct blue uniforms to stand out from the other services. In the years since, those “blues” (as they came to be called) evolved as times changed and as the Air Force itself changed.

This served for most airmen, but for those who still required a utility uniform, green would be (and still is) the mainstay for those uniforms. But Air Force utility uniforms always incorporated a distinctive blue, in some way, over the years to ensure its separation from the Army and little else.

The Air Force, like the Navy, appeared to be struggling with a uniform identity crisis in recent years, but it looks like they’ve got a handle on things.

USAF Blues

This was almost you, Air Force.

The USAF came a long way, and so it’s good to take a look back at the best and worst of what the Air Force thought was a good idea, lest history repeat itself.

The Best

1. Flight Suits – (1917- Present)

The coolest looking and most comfortable uniform, the flight suit is easily the number one in the Air Force wardrobe. Early flight suits had the same needs as today’s flight suits. Aircrews need warm clothing with pockets to keep things from falling out. Early flight suits required jackets, usually leather, to keep the pilots warm. The need for pressurized cockpits allowed the flight suit to become what it is today: flame resistant, comfortable, practical and still cool-looking.

USAF Flight Suit Robin Olds

Seriously. Awesome.

2. Battle Dress Uniform (1981-2011)

Maybe it’s because i’m partial to the uniform I wore every day, maybe it’s because the BDU is both comfortable and utilitarian, maybe because it’s a uniform which was worn across all branches of the U.S. military. In my mind, the only bad thing about this uniform was the M-65 BDU field jacket, which worked against the cold every bit as well as any crocheted blanket, which is to say, not at all. There’s a reason it was the longest-serving uniform.

Promotion

3. Blue Shade 1084 & 1549 Service Dress Uniform (1962-1969)

This is the one which became the iconic Air Force blues uniform after appearing in Stanley Kubrick’s 1964 film Dr. Strangelove. An Air Force officer in the film, cigar-chomping Brig. Gen. Jack D. Ripper, acted and looked a lot like real life Air Force Gen. Curtis LeMay, who is famous for his hardline thinking. He was once quoted as saying:

“If I see that the Russians are amassing their planes for an attack, I’m going to knock the sh-t out of them before they take off the ground.”

"I will f*cking kill you and everything you love."

“I will kill you and everything you love.”

4. Cotton Sateen Utility Uniform OG-107 (1952-1982)

Army and Air Force personnel wore this both stateside and deployed to the Southeast Asia theater. It was replaced by the Tropical Combat Uniform in Southeast Asia but outside it continued to be the work uniform of choice through the 1970s when it was replaced by the woodland BDU.

OG-107 Etchberger

Medal of Honor Recipient Chief Master Sgt. Richard L. Etchberger

5. SR-71 Pressure Suits (1966-1999)

Its almost not even fair. They get to crew the greatest airframe ever designed AND look like an awesome alt-metal band in the process.

Blackbird pilots 'bout to drop the most fire album of 1969

Blackbird pilots ’bout to drop the most fire album of 1969

The Worst

6. Air Force PT Uniforms (2006- Present)

Have you ever gone to the gym and wondered how much greater your workout could be if you did it while wearing swim trunks? The Air Force physical training uniform combines all the internal mesh of swim trunks to keep yourself in place with all the length of 1970s tennis player shorts to ensure you’re not only uncomfortable working out but so is everyone who has to look at you.

"Don't look me in the eye, Sergeant."

“Don’t look me in the eye, Sergeant.”

7. Air Force Band Drum Major

I understand military tradition requires bands, but do we still have to make them dress like they should be guarding Queen Elizabeth? I wonder what possible purpose that giant hat served, even when it was a real part of a military uniform. Did the scepter ever serve a real purpose? And that sash looks makes him look less like an Air Force Chief and more like he’s the WWE Intercontinental Champion.

USAF Air Force Band Drum Major

Everything about him says “oom-pah-pah” and that’s not complimentary.

8. Air Force Command Staff Ceremonial Uniforms (2012)

In 2012, Gen. Mark Welsh III rolled out a new set of ceremonial uniforms for the Air Force Command Staff. Commenters from Air Force magazine were quick to crack jokes about the special uniforms:

“General Welsh looks like a Russian crown prince at an embassy ball. What is it? Come on, General LeMay would never wear that!!”

“It appears the general is or was a member of the Air Force Band.”

“Exactly when did the AF adopt John Phillip Sousa’s uniform as its own?”

Air Force Times offered Welsh an opportunity to talk about the uniform, but he declined.

bilde

Chief Roy looks like he has something to say about it, though.

9. Air Force Summer Service Uniform (1956)

shorts

“Look at the legs on those airmen, amirite?”

This one is so bad, it’s hard to find evidence of it. It looked like your mailman earned rank and started maintaining aircraft. Yes, in the photo above even other airmen can’t believe these guys are actually wearing Khaki shorts and a safari hat. Ladies usually love a man in uniform, but these guys will be single until they ditch those ugly things.

SummerUniformItems

aka mailman starter kit.

10. Merrill McPeak Dress Blues

The uniform was criticized for looking too much like the Navy’s uniforms, like an airline pilot’s uniform, or “a business suit with medals,” it featured a white shirt and the signature clouds and lightning bolts (aka “Farts and Darts”) on the sleeves of the jacket. McPeak’s uniform was popular with absolutely no one but McPeak. These uniforms went away as soon as he did.

"Everybody hates me and I don't know why!"

“Everybody hates me and I don’t know why.”

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