7 tips for getting away with fraternization - We Are The Mighty
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7 tips for getting away with fraternization

So, you’ve got a fever and the only cure is a consensual adult relationship that violates the Uniform Code of Military Justice? It happens.


And by the way, it can happen among friends, but for this article, we’re going to talk about sexual or romantic relationships.

Related video:

Paraphrasing here from the Manual for Courts Martial: Fraternization in the military is a personal relationship between an officer and an enlisted member that violates the customary bounds of acceptable behavior and jeopardizes good order and discipline.

7 tips for getting away with fraternization

That’s a mouthful, but it boils down to the intent of guidelines for any relationship among professionals: The appearance of favoritism hurts the group, and, with the military in particular, could actually get someone killed.

Also read: 13 Hilarious Meme Replies To Our Article About Dating On Navy Ships

But we’re only human, right? It’s natural to fall for someone you work with, so here are a couple of tips that can help keep you out of Leavenworth:

1. Don’t do it

7 tips for getting away with fraternization

Seriously. Cut it off when you first start to feel the butterflies-slash-burning-in-your-loins. Flirting is a rush and it’s fun and NO.

Hit the gym. Take a break. Swipe right on Tinder. Do whatever you have to do to nip it in the bud before it gets out of control.

2. Be discreet

7 tips for getting away with fraternization

Okay, fine, you’re going for it anyway. We’ve all been there (nervous laughter…).

People are more intuitive than you think. Don’t give them any reason to suspect you and your illicit goings-on. Be completely professional at work. Don’t flirt in the office. Don’t send sweet nothings over government e-mail (yes, it is being monitored).

3. Keep it off-base

7 tips for getting away with fraternization

Don’t be stupid, okay? Get away from the watchful eyes all the people around you who live and breathe military regulations.

4. Square away

7 tips for getting away with fraternization

The thing about military punishment is that you are usually judged by your commander first. If you do get caught, you want people to really regret the idea of punishing you.

Be amazing at your job — better yet, be the best at your job. Be irreplaceable. Be a leader and a team player and a bad ass. Set the example with your physical fitness and your marksmanship and your ability to destroy terrorism.

Be beloved by all and you just might get away with a slap on the wrist…

5. Plausible deniability

7 tips for getting away with fraternization

I would never tell you to lie because integrity and honor are all totes important and stuff, but…

If lawyers can’t prove beyond reasonable doubt that you were actually engaged in criminal activity, you could be spared from a conviction.

Maybe it was just a coincidence that you both happened to be volunteering at the same time. It was for the orphans…

How could you have known that you both like to spend Christmas in Hawaii?

It’s not your fault Sgt. Hottie wanted to attend a concert in the same town where your parents live, right?

6. Talk it out

7 tips for getting away with fraternization

If you can’t have a mature conversation with this person about how to conduct yourselves in the workplace or how you’d each face the consequences of being discovered, you really shouldn’t be getting it on.

You are both risking your careers and livelihoods because of this relationship — don’t take it lightly.

And whatever you do, treat each other with honesty and respect — you’re all you have right now.

7. Don’t go to the danger zone

7 tips for getting away with fraternization

I know you know this, but here’s the thing: REALLY DON’T DO IT (PUN INTENDED) WHILE IN A COMBAT ZONE.

This is life and death. Remind yourself why you chose to serve your country. Pay attention to the men and women around you who trust you and rely on you to protect them.

LOCK IT UP. You’re a warrior and you have discipline.

Did we leave anything out? Leave a comment and let us know.

Articles

Congress just made it a crime to post nude photos of troops without permission

The House has unanimously approved legislation that makes it a crime for U.S. service members to distribute intimate photos or videos of people without first getting their consent.


The measure is a direct response to a nude-photo sharing scandal that has rocked the Marine Corps. Lawmakers voted 418-0 to pass the bill Wednesday.

The scandal came to light after it was discovered that sexually explicit photos of female and male Marines were being shared on a secret Facebook page.

Rep. Martha McSally of Arizona, the bill’s sponsor, says the “Neanderthals” who posted the photos aren’t emblematic of the vast majority of U.S. troops. But she says the idea that any one in uniform thinks it’s acceptable to upload and comment on nude photos is a problem that must be fixed.

Articles

13 Funniest military memes for the week of April 28

We found these awesome military memes and thought you guys might like ’em. Here are 13 of the funniest we found:


1. When it’s the perfect new house until you see the address (via The Salty Soldier).

7 tips for getting away with fraternization
Seems like some bases have a Jody Avenue, Street, Parkway, Broadway, and Highway.

2. Dang. Can’t even rollerblade?

(via Sh-t my LPO says)

7 tips for getting away with fraternization
About all you could do there is masturbate.

ALSO SEE: Here is what a war with North Korea could look like

3. I would not be entirely surprised to learn that Mattis is a Jedi (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

7 tips for getting away with fraternization
Also wouldn’t be surprised to watch Mattis cut 100 enemies down with a lightsaber.

4. At least he warned everyone (via Pop smoke).

7 tips for getting away with fraternization

5. Dangit, Air Force. If you would wear helmet bands, you could do it right (via Military World).

7 tips for getting away with fraternization
It’s almost like the ground forces know how to do this job.

6. This Snapple fact is completely true (via Coast Guard Memes).

7 tips for getting away with fraternization
And the pigeons were better than all humans, not just the non-rates. (But they only looked for red, orange, and yellow.)

7. See, my DD-214 won’t let me wake up before 8 a.m. (via CONUS Battle Drills).

7 tips for getting away with fraternization
And yeah, it’s 8. Not 0800. ‘Cause of my DD-214 and all.

8. Better ratf-ck another MRE. No one is making it back for dinner chow (via Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said).

7 tips for getting away with fraternization
I highly recommend the brisket. Or getting better coaches on the firing line. Either or.

9. Everyone in their reenlistment window, remember that rapidly expanding the military requires lots of people and that means it’s a re-enlistee’s market (via Coast Guard Memes).

7 tips for getting away with fraternization
You at least got station of choice or something, right?

10. Huh. Guess I should change out of my Converse before I smoke this dude (via Decelerate Your Life).

7 tips for getting away with fraternization
Meh. Not really worth it.

11. This gets dark quickly (via Military Memes).

7 tips for getting away with fraternization
Also, it’s not spying if you’re using a crew-served weapon on full auto.

12. Seriously, guys, it’s not that bad out here (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

7 tips for getting away with fraternization
Come use your GI Bill. There’s booze. And degrees. And jobs.

13. These missiles got attitude with altitude and they don’t need a plane to complete them.

7 tips for getting away with fraternization
And thanks to someone’s royal screwup, it’s going to get a chance to prove it.

MIGHTY HISTORY

How this squeegee handle saved 6 people on 9/11

Necessity is the mother of invention. Sometimes, the military translates this axiom as “if it’s stupid and it works, it isn’t stupid.” So while the idea of this simple window washing tool saving lives sounds silly, there are six people who sure are glad to be window washers that day.


As if being a window washer on a New York City skyscraper wasn’t harrowing enough, the sheer terror didn’t stop for these six men that day, even though they were in the building. Polish immigrant Jan Demczur and five others were in an elevator in the North Tower on Sept. 11, 2001, when the building was struck by American Airline Flight 11.

The cleaners were on their way up to work when the elevator suddenly started plummeting down to earth.

Victoria Dawson, in her July 2002 article in Smithsonian magazine “Handed Down to History,” wrote that Demczur or one of the other men managed to press the emergency stop button on the elevator. But stopping their sudden descent was only half of the problem – they still needed to get out.

“We felt a muted thud,” said Shivam Iyer, one of the other workers. “The building shook. The elevator swung from side to side, like a pendulum.”

7 tips for getting away with fraternization
The North Tower was hit between the 93rd and 99th Floors.
(Reuters)

When they finally forced open the elevator’s doors, they were faced with walls of sheetrock and smoke started to fill the elevator shaft. A voice warned them of an explosion in the building. They were on the 50th floor and the express elevator they were on didn’t stop there. It was lucky that someone had a pocketknife and the men were able to start cutting through the wall. Then, Demczur dropped the knife down the elevator shaft.

“I was very upset with myself,” he told Smithsonian. “We had a problem and now a bigger problem.”

There was no time to think. One of his coworkers simply grabbed up the squeegee from their work bucket and resumed working on that wall. The men took turns going to town on the wall with the squeegee handle. Eventually, they punched through four layers of sheetrock, finally punching into a tile wall under the sink of a men’s room. They escaped from the building – via a stairwell – as soon as they could. It took them 90 minutes.

Moments after leaving the building, it collapsed.

Demczur donated the squeegee handle to the National September 11 Memorial and Museum, where it was on display until loaned to the Smithsonian. A coat of the white debris is still on the handle.

Articles

The ghastly attack in Kenya proves an important point about terrorist groups

7 tips for getting away with fraternization


The April 2 attack in Garissa, Kenya, was the deadliest and most heinous atrocity the Somali terrorist group Al Shabaab has ever committed.

Gunmen from Al Qaeda’s affiliate in the Horn of Africa stormed a university campus in the city, killing 147 people after an hours-long siege. It’s the deadliest terrorist attack in Kenya since the 1998 Al Qaeda bombing of the US embassy in Nairobi in which 224 people were killed.

The terrorist attack demonstrates an ongoing security threat in one of the most stable and prosperous countries in sub-Saharan Africa — and it shows how jihadist groups can remain dangerous even as they lose territory and leadership.

Garissa is a mid-sized city 230 miles from Nairobi and a little over 60 miles from Dadaab, the former desert rest stop that’s now home to the world’s largest refugee camp.

On Twitter, Colby College political science professor Laura Seay noted the extraordinary sacrifice it requires for a family to even send someone to college in a place so much closer to Kenya’s arid and impoverished eastern desert frontier than it is to just about any of its major cities.

“Today’s loss is immeasurable,” she tweeted.

Al Shabaab didn’t just choose the softest of targets; it attacked a place where it could wipe out as many young, promising, and educated people as it possibly could.

In the Westgate Mall attack in September of 2013, Shabaab struck at the heart of Kenyan business and trade, attacking Nairobi’s famed status as east Africa’s cosmopolitan crossroads. The Garissa attack was even deadlier and perhaps even grimmer in its messaging. Shabaab struck Kenyan society where they knew it would hurt the most.

The Garissa attack is shocking for yet another reason. Al Shabaab has repeatedly struck outside of its safe haven in southern Somalia over the past year, carrying out a series of gun attacks around the coastal town of Mpeketoni, Kenya, that killed over 60 people during the summer of 2014.

It’s retained its external attack capabilities and command structure despite suffering what would seem to be a series of debilitating setbacks. In January, the former head of Shabaab internal intelligence, who had earlier surrendered himself to Somali authorities, publicly denounced terrorism and urged his former colleagues to lay down their arms.

A September 2014 drone strike killed Ahmed Godane, Shabaab’s domineering leader and one of the most-wanted terrorists in Africa. Another drone strike on March 18 killed Adnan Garaar, the head of Shabaab’s external operations and the mastermind of the Westgate attack.

But Shabaab has forged a new model for how declining terrorist groups can remain dangerous, as analyst Clint Watts argued in a World Politics Review article published just before the Garissa massacre.

Shabaab has done nothing but splinter, vacate territory, and lose top leadership since ruling over most of Somalia and nearly all of its capital, Mogadishu, in 2010. Even so, Watts observes that “a sizeable military coalition is still fighting in the Horn of Africa more than four years after the group’s zenith,” a reference to an ongoing African Union military mission in Somalia in which Kenya is a longtime participant.

Shabaab has kept itself intact by retreating into the southern Somali wilderness and refocusing its efforts around large-scale attacks rather than holding or governing massive swaths of territory. Just a week before the Garissa attack, Shabaab killed over 20 people during a raid on a hotel in Mogadishu, including a Somali diplomat.

Even after years of decline, Shabaab has a remote safe haven that’s preserved its ability to pull off large-scale attacks in multiple countries in consecutive weeks.

More worrying is Shabaab’s deep network in neighboring Kenya, which is home to a sizable Somali minority as well as refugees from Somalia’s devastating famine, which had killed over a quarter-million people by 2013 and was greatly exacerbated by Shabaab’s refusal to allow aid groups into areas it controlled.

As Caroline Hellyer wrote for Al Jazeera two weeks before the Garissa attack, Shabaab’s relationship with a “hardline underground group” called al-Hijra gives it a ready-made network in Kenya and Tanzania, allowing it to recruit extremist elements well beyond Somalia.

One grim upshot of the Garissa attack is that it demonstrates Shabaab’s broad operational capabilities in Kenya, East Africa’s cultural, economic, and political leader and a US strategic ally. The region doesn’t have to deal with a Shabaab-ruled Somalia — but it may have swapped that problem for a Shabaab that has even greater ambitions to strike outside of its diminished Somali safe haven.

More from Business Insider:

This article originally appeared at Business Insider Defense Copyright 2015. Follow BI Defense on Twitter.

Articles

This is how the Navy’s last ace went from heroic fighter pilot to criminal congressman

7 tips for getting away with fraternization


“If you’re not cheating you’re not trying.” — every fighter pilot ever including “Duke” Cunningham, U.S. Navy fighter ace

Lt. Randy “Duke” Cunningham woke up aboard the USS Constellation on the morning of May 10, 1972 with two MiG kills under his belt. He’d used Sidewinder heat seeking missiles to shoot down North Vietnamese opponents on January 19 and May 8 of that year. A recent increase in enemy sorties made Cunningham and the other carrier air wing fighter pilots sure they’d have more chances to bag bandits. Cunningham just needed three more kills to attain “ace” status. The aircraft carrier had plenty of time left on station, so he allowed himself to believe it could happen. He had no idea he’d earn the balance in one flight.

Cunningham and his radar intercept officer Lt. Willie Driscoll launched in a VF-96 F-4J — tactical callsign “Showtime 100” — from the Constellation as part of a strike package against the Hai Dong rail yards in North Vietnam. After dropping its bombs, Showtime 100 took up a combat air patrol position to cover other airplanes on bomb runs.

The American strike package was jumped by a group of MiG-17s. Cunningham downed one of them with a Sidewinder after the MiG pilot overshot him. He climbed up to 15,000 feet and looked down and saw eight MiGs tangled with Navy Phantoms. He rolled in on one that was threatening to shoot his squadron XO, transmitting, “If you don’t break now you are going to die,” after the XO didn’t respond to two previous calls to turn hard. Once his squadronmate complied and was clear, Cunningham loosed another Sidewinder and killed his fourth MiG.

On the way back to the carrier, Cunningham spotted another MiG, which — in spite of his low fuel state — he decided to engage. He wound up flying in front of the enemy airplane, which allowed the MiG to shoot at him with the nose cannon. Cunningham made a hard pull into the vertical, and the bullets missed. To his surprise the MiG followed him up, something MiGs tended not to do because the airplane’s climb performance lagged that of the Phantom.

What followed was one of the legendary dogfights of the jet era. Cunningham and his opponent mixed it up for several minutes, going from a high-speed vertical fight to a low-speed horizontal “rolling scissors” fight. The MiG had more maneuverability in the low-speed regime, and as the enemy pilot pulled his nose up for a shot, Cunningham — in spite of his low fuel state — selected full afterburner and put enough distance between his F-4 and the MiG to avoid getting shot by an ATOLL missile.

Driscoll was in the backseat strongly suggesting they keep heading east to the carrier, which would have been the prudent thing to do, but Cunningham didn’t want to wait any longer to be an ace. He turned back toward the MiG and another rolling scissors ensued. The advantage went back and forth, and finally the MiG — probably low on gas as well — made a move to exit the fight, which allowed Cunningham to make one last-ditch move to fire his last Sidewinder.

7 tips for getting away with fraternization
(Painting by Philip West)

It worked. At first Cunningham thought the missile missed, but a few seconds later the MiG started to come apart. Cunningham was an ace, the first of the Vietnam War.

But his problems weren’t over. Before Showtime 100 got “feet wet” it was hit by a North Vietnamese surface-to-air missile. He managed to coax the crippled fighter far enough over the Gulf of Tonkin to avoid falling into enemy hands and winding up a POW. After successfully ejecting, both Driscoll and he were picked up by an Air Force SAR helicopter.

For his efforts on that day, Cunningham received the Navy Cross.

Cunningham left the Navy at the 20-year mark, retiring at the rank of commander after serving as a Top Gun instructor and the commander officer of VF-126, the aggressor squadron based at Miramar. He became the dean of the National School of Aviation and started his own marketing company, Top Gun Enterprises.

Cunningham became one of CNN’s go-to military experts in the late ’80s and early ’90s — especially on the eve of Desert Storm, and that visibility brought him to the attention of Republican power brokers around San Diego, Cunningham’s hometown. The Democratic incumbent of the 44th District, Jim Bates, was vulnerable in the upcoming election because of an ongoing sexual harassment scandal.

He wound up breezing to victory and took office in January of 1991. In short order he established himself as an outspoken conservative champion and in many cases just plain outspoken. He brought the same intemperate disposition that served him as a fighter pilot to the Washington arena, flipping off reporters and calling gay service members “homos” on the floor of the House while arguing with backers of a conservation amendment. That act played well with a majority of his constituents — he was reelected with ease six times — but it also earned him some enemies and the attention of the press.

In 1996 Cunningham criticized the Clinton Administration for being “soft on crime.”

“We must get tough on drug dealers,” he said, adding that “those who peddle destruction on our children must pay dearly.” He voted for the death penalty for major drug dealers. Four months later his son Todd was arrested for helping to transport 400 pounds of marijuana from Texas to Indiana. Todd Cunningham pleaded guilty to possession and conspiracy to sell marijuana. Representative Cunningham broke down in court and pleaded with the judge for leniency in his son’s case, which his critics found very hypocritical.

Then in June of 2005 the San Diego Union Tribune reported that a defense contractor named Mitchell Wade had purchased Cunningham’s house in Del Mar in 2003 for $1,675,000 and put it back on the market a month later. (Cunningham was a member of the Defense Appropriations Subcommittee at the time.) Wade’s company, MZM Inc., started receiving tens of millions of dollars of defense and intelligence contracts.

The Union Tribune later reported that Cunningham was living rent-free aboard one of Wade’s yachts docked in a harbor in Washington DC and that he was throwing parties for young women aboard the yacht on a regular basis.

The FBI raided his home, Wade’s home, and the MZM corporate offices on July 1, 2005. A few months later, Cunningham pleaded guilty to tax evasion, conspiracy to commit bribery, mail fraud and wire fraud. Among the many bribes Cunningham admitted receiving were the house sale at an inflated price, the free use of the yacht, a used Rolls-Royce, antique furniture, Persian rugs, jewelry, and a $2,000 contribution for his daughter’s college graduation party.

Cunningham read the following statement at the press conference where he announced he was resigning from Congress:

When I announced several months ago that I would not seek re-election, I publicly declared my innocence because I was not strong enough to face the truth. So, I misled my family, staff, friends, colleagues, the public – even myself. For all of this, I am deeply sorry.

The truth is – I broke the law, concealed my conduct, and disgraced my high office. I know that I will forfeit my freedom, my reputation, my worldly possessions, and most importantly, the trust of my friends and family. … In my life, I have known great joy and great sorrow. And now I know great shame. I learned in Vietnam that the true measure of a man is how he responds to adversity.

I cannot undo what I have done. But I can atone. I am now almost 65 years old and, as I enter the twilight of my life, I intend to use the remaining time that God grants me to make amends.

Cunningham wound up serving seven years in a minimum security satellite camp near Tucson, Arizona. He was released to a halfway house in New Orleans in February of 2013. He now lives in Arkansas and still receives his Navy retirement pay as well as a pension for 14-plus years as a Congressman. (Legislation introduced to prevent convicted lawmakers from receiving their pensions died in committee.)

The San Diego Union Tribune received the Pulitzer Prize for the reporting surrounding the takedown of Congressman Cunningham.

MIGHTY HISTORY

Nope, ‘God & The 3 Mistakes’ is not what happened after Pearl Harbor

I’m known among my friends as a bit of a heartless cynic (#NotPopularAtParties #PleaseStopInvitingMe #HowManyOfTheseDoIHaveToRuinToBeLeftAlone). Maybe that’s why We Are The Mighty’s president and CMO, U.S. Air Force veteran Mark Harper, sent me this heartwarming story about Admiral Nimitz arriving at Pearl Harbor after the attack.

But then, I ruined it.


7 tips for getting away with fraternization

Adm. Chester W. Nimitz, a bold and brave man too busy being optimistic for your “history facts” or his own notes.

(San Diego Air and Space Museum Archive)

The story is entitled God and the 3 Mistakes, and it makes the rounds on the internet every once in a while. Here’s a version of it from armchairgeneral.com:

Tour boats ferry people out to the USS Arizona Memorial in Hawaii every thirty minutes. We just missed a ferry and had to wait thirty minutes. I went into a small gift shop to kill time. In the gift shop, I purchased a small book entitled, “Reflections on Pearl Harbor” by Admiral Chester Nimitz.

Sunday, December 7th, 1941 — Admiral Chester Nimitz was attending a concert in Washington D.C. He was paged and told there was a phone call for him. When he answered the phone, it was President Franklin Delano Roosevelt on the phone. He told Admiral Nimitz that he (Nimitz) would now be the Commander of the Pacific Fleet.

Admiral Nimitz flew to Hawaii to assume command of the Pacific Fleet. He landed at Pearl Harbor on Christmas Eve, 1941. There was such a spirit of despair, dejection and defeat–you would have thought the Japanese had already won the war. On Christmas Day, 1941, Adm. Nimitz was given a boat tour of the destruction wrought on Pearl Harbor by the Japanese. Big sunken battleships and navy vessels cluttered the waters every where you looked.

As the tour boat returned to dock, the young helmsman of the boat asked, “Well Admiral, what do you think after seeing all this destruction?” Admiral Nimitz’s reply shocked everyone within the sound of his voice. Admiral Nimitz said, “The Japanese made three of the biggest mistakes an attack force could ever make, or God was taking care of America. Which do you think it was?”

Shocked and surprised, the young helmsman asked, “What do mean by saying the Japanese made the three biggest mistakes an attack force ever made?” Nimitz explained:

Mistake number one: the Japanese attacked on Sunday morning. Nine out of every ten crewmen of those ships were ashore on leave. If those same ships had been lured to sea and been sunk–we would have lost 38,000 men instead of 3,800.

Mistake number two: when the Japanese saw all those battleships lined in a row, they got so carried away sinking those battleships, they never once bombed our dry docks opposite those ships. If they had destroyed our dry docks, we would have had to tow every one of those ships to America to be repaired. As it is now, the ships are in shallow water and can be raised. One tug can pull them over to the dry docks, and we can have them repaired and at sea by the time we could have towed them to America. And I already have crews ashore anxious to man those ships.

Mistake number three: every drop of fuel in the Pacific theater of war is in top of the ground storage tanks five miles away over that hill. One attack plane could have strafed those tanks and destroyed our fuel supply. That’s why I say the Japanese made three of the biggest mistakes an attack force could make or God was taking care of America.

I’ve never forgotten what I read in that little book. It is still an inspiration as I reflect upon it. In jest, I might suggest that because Admiral Nimitz was a Texan, born and raised in Fredricksburg, Texas –he was a born optimist. But anyway you look at it–Admiral Nimitz was able to see a silver lining in a situation and circumstance where everyone else saw only despair and defeatism.

President Roosevelt had chosen the right man for the right job. We desperately needed a leader that could see silver linings in the midst of the clouds of dejection, despair and defeat.

There is a reason that our national motto is, IN GOD WE TRUST.
7 tips for getting away with fraternization

Look, an optimistic photo of a re-floated battleship. Let’s all go get coffee and not read the rest of this.

(San Diego Air and Space Museum Archive)

Stop here to remain happy. No? Alrighty, then.

Was that heartwarming and satisfying for you? Good. Stop reading. Go away. Be happy. Don’t let my factual poison into your soul. Ignore the holes and historical discrepancies and return to the world as a satisfied human being.

Or, let’s go through this together and destroy joy.

(Author’s note: For some of the debunking done here, we’re turning directly to Adm. Nimitz’ notes from December, 1941, compiled in his “gray book,” which the Navy put on the internet in 2014. Citations to that document will be made with a parenthetical hyperlink that will give the PDF page, not the printed page number. So, “(p. 71)” refers to his December 17 “Running Summary of Situation” that is page 71 of the PDF, but has the page numbers 9 and 67 printed on the bottom.)

7 tips for getting away with fraternization

Army Gen. Douglas MacArthur, President Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Navy Adm. Chester W. Nimitz.

(U.S. National Archives and Records Administration)

That phone call on December 7 didn’t happen

First: “Sunday, December 7th, 1941 — Admiral Chester Nimitz was … told there was a phone call for him. When he answered the phone, it was President Franklin Delano Roosevelt. He told Admiral Nimitz that he (Nimitz) would now be the Commander of the Pacific Fleet.

Nope. At the time, no one knew exactly what had happened or who to blame, and Adm. Husband E. Kimmel was still very much in charge. How screwed up would it have been if Roosevelt’s first action, while the fuel dumps were still burning and sailors were still choking to death on oil, was to fire the guy in command on the ground rather than shifting supplies and men to the problem or, you know, investigating what happened?

The bulk of the losses at Pearl weren’t even announced until December 15 (p. 51) because no one, even at Pearl, could be sure of the extent of the damage while the attack was ongoing.

In reality, Nimitz wasn’t ordered to Hawaii until December 17, the same day that Kimmel was told he would be relieved (p. 71).

7 tips for getting away with fraternization

National ensign flies from the USS West Virginia during the Pearl Harbor attack.

(U.S. Navy)

No, it wouldn’t have been worse if the Japanese had lured the ships to sea

The single most non-sensical claim in this story is that Nimitz was glad Pearl Harbor was a surprise attack.

Mistake number one: the Japanese attacked on Sunday morning. Nine out of every ten crewmen of those ships were ashore on leave. If those same ships had been lured to sea and been sunk–we would have lost 38,000 men instead of 3,800.

What? Nimitz thought he would’ve lost more men if the Japanese had lured them into a fight near the island? Does anyone believe that he had that little belief in the skills of his men?

If the Japanese had tried to lure the American ships to sea, we would’ve only sent the ones ready to fight, with full ammo loads and readied guns with crews. We would’ve tried to recall the carriers conducting exercises at sea. Yes, losing 38,000 sailors is worse than 3,800, but we’ve never lost 3,800 in a fair fight.

At the battles of the Coral Sea and Midway, the U.S. took combined losses of about 1,000 killed while inflicting losses against Japan of about 4,000. At the Battle of Savo Island, “the worst defeat ever inflicted on the United States Navy in a fair fight,” according to Samuel Morison, the U.S. lost 1,100 sailors.

Meanwhile, at Pearl, the U.S. lost over 2,000 killed while inflicting less than 100 enemy deaths. Who the hell would be glad it was a surprise attack?

In his notes on Samoa dated December 17, Nimitz specifically cites Japan’s use of surprise as to why it had been so successful (p. 64).

7 tips for getting away with fraternization

The largest fuel dumps at Pearl Harbor did survive the attack, but they weren’t enough.

(U.S. Navy)

Yes, Japan did ravage America’s fuel dumps and hit drydocks

Nimitz, when he got the actual call on December 17, quickly tied up his duties in Washington, D.C., and reported to Pearl Harbor. (He arrived Christmas Day, not Christmas Eve.)

There, he found an island still burning and heavily damaged. The Japanese planes absolutely did hit fuel dumps at Pearl Harbor. They hit drydocks as well, heavily damaging three destroyers that were in the docks at the time.

Luckily, Pearl Harbor didn’t have “every drop of fuel in the Pacific theater of war” in December 1941 as the story says, but the other dumps were under attack as Nimitz was supposedly giving this pep talk. Fuel dumps on the Philippines and Wake Island were destroyed or isolated by the Japanese attack in the days and weeks following December 7.

(Seriously, how would you even run a Pacific fleet if your only gas station was in Hawaii? That would mean ships patrolling around the Philippines and Australia would need to travel 10,000 miles and over three weeks out of their way every time they needed to refuel.)

It is true, though, that Japan failed to hit the largest and most important fuel tank farms on Pearl and didn’t destroy the doors to the drydocks. That was a major strategic error on the part of the Japanese.

But, what damage was done to these facilities was important, changing the strategic calculation for America at every turn.

On December 17, Nimitz wrote a plan to reinforce Samoa that specifically cited the lack of appropriate fuel dumps being ready or filled at Pearl or Samoa (p. 63 and 70). It even mentioned how bad it was to shift a single oiler from replenishing Pearl to getting ships to Samoa. The fuel situation was dire, and Nimitz knew it.

7 tips for getting away with fraternization

Two heavily damaged U.S. destroyers sit in a flooded drydock. Both destroyers were scrapped and the drydock was damaged, but it did return to service by February 1942.

(U.S. Navy)

The ship repair situation was worse

If the fuel situation was bad, the repair situation was worse. Drydocks were attacked during the battle. Two ships were destroyed in Drydock number one, and Floating Drydock number 2 was sunk after sustaining damage. Both were back in operation by February 1942.

Other drydocks were safe or only lightly damaged and were up and running by the time Nimitz arrived at Pearl. Yes, that’s a big deal logistically. But that still left too few drydocks for the sheer number of ships heavily damaged in the attack.

But the number of drydocks wasn’t the biggest factor in whether a ship could be repaired at Pearl, because there weren’t nearly enough supplies and skilled laborers in and around the harbor, anyways. Capt. Homer N. Wallin, the head of the salvage effort from January 1942 onward, lamented shortages of firefighting equipment, lumber, fastenings, welders, carpenters, mechanics, engineers, and pumps for the duration of salvage.

That’s why three battleships left Pearl Harbor for repairs on the West Coast on December 20, and ships were heading back to the continent for repairs as late as the end of 1942, nearly a year after the attack, because drydocks had insufficient space or supplies to repair them on site.

In fact, in his history written in 1968, Wallin specifically remembers Nimitz touring the wrecks on Dec. 31, 1941, and being pessimistic about repairs, especially the viability of the USS Nevada. The Nevada was back in combat less than a year later, despite Nimitz’ pessimism.

But the worst problem facing Pearl Harbor was invasion

But the most naive claim of this entire story is that Nimitz was optimistic as to the situation in December 1941. His actual notes from the period paint a much grimmer picture of his mind.

In the wee hours of December 17, hours before Nimitz was ordered to replace Kimmel, Nimitz sent Kimmel a message on behalf of himself and Secretary of the Navy Frank Knox. Kimmel was ordered to “reconsider” his beliefs that Pearl Harbor was safe from further attack (p. 74).

Knox and Nimitz wanted Kimmel to keep ships out of the harbor as much as possible, to reinforce defensive positions. Most importantly:

Every possible means should be devised and executed which will contribute to security against aircraft or torpedo or gun attack of ships, aircraft and shore facilities [on Hawaii];

Given that Nimitz was actively cautioning about how vulnerable Pearl Harbor was on December 17, it would be odd for him to feel cocky and optimistic on December 25 (the earliest he could have actually taken this supposed boat tour).

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Adm. Chester W. Nimitz pins the Navy Cross on Doris Miller at Pearl Harbor on May 27, 1942.

(Library of Congress)

But he was still a great leader

The fact is, Nimitz was not some famed optimist. He was a realist. And he was in command of a fleet crippled by a sneak attack but backed by the most industrialized nation in the world in the 1940s. American industrial might was so strong that, by the end of the war, the U.S. was producing half of all industrial goods and weapons in the world. And the Japanese had failed to hit the submarines, something that did give Nimitz hope.

While it took most of 1942 and 1943 to fully ramp up America’s wartime production, the seeds were all in place in 1941 thanks to Roosevelt’s Cash-and-Carry and Lend-Lease policies. Nimitz was no fool. He knew he could win, even though the challenge facing him on Christmas 1941 was still daunting.

We can honor him, the sailors lost at Pearl Harbor, and the stunning achievements of the greatest generation without sharing suspect anecdotes about a Christmas Eve boat ride.

(As an added side note: The book this story supposedly came from wasn’t actually by Nimitz, it’s an “oral history” by William H. Ewing. And it was published five years after Nimitz died. Maybe it is a faithful account of Nimitz’ words at some point, but it doesn’t match his notes or the tactical situation in 1941.)

MIGHTY HISTORY

How Richard Nixon predicted a Trump Presidency

His wife, Pat, actually thought of it first, while watching Donald Trump on the Phil Donahue Show. The former President Nixon agreed with her enough to write Trump and let him know.


Daytime television talk shows weren’t always about who was the father of whose baby or giving a makeover to teen girls who used to be strippers. In the late 1980s, the shows weren’t always sensationalizing scandal. Shows like Phil Donahue’s actually talked in-depth about news and cultural phenomena that were worthy of the attention. One such phenomenon was the popularity of a real estate mogul in New York who was attracting headlines everywhere: Donald Trump.

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He once debated mosh pits with Marilyn Manson.

In December, 1987, Donahue interviewed Trump on his show. Phil Donahue didn’t pull punches. From the get-go, he grilled Trump on his real estate management practices and the rumors associated with his “empire.” In the middle of the interview, Trump tells Donahue he’s able to be honest because he’s “not running for office,” after defending his policies – to the applause of a middle-class audience.

The look of surprise on Donahue’s face was clear, as he shouted “let’s hear it for the rich folks.” The debate over rent control continued for another ten minutes and the studio audience weren’t the only viewers impressed with the Donald’s performance, one viewer at home was also suitably impressed: Pat Nixon.

The former First Lady of the United States was so impressed with Trump’s responses to Donahue’s grilling that she told her husband, 37th President of the United States Richard Nixon. Nixon might have agreed with his wife, as he took the time to write to Trump:

Dear Donald,

I did not see the program, but Mrs. Nixon told me you were great on the Donahue show.
As you can imagine, she is an expert on politics and she predicts that whenever you decide to run for office, you will be a winner!

RMN

The letter was stored away in the Nixon Presidential Library Archives until the author of a 2015 biography of Trump, called “Never Enough,” included it in the memoir of then-soon-to-be Presidential candidate Trump.

Trump’s interview on Donahue covered much more than rent control in New York City. His rhetoric was similar to the arguments he would come to use as a presidential candidate, including the idea of making American allies pay for the “services we are rendering” in providing for their defense.

MIGHTY GAMING

The biggest awards show in gaming just revealed this year’s nominees

The Game Awards 2019 has announced this years list of nominees, which includes 107 different games spread across more than 20 categories.

Established in 2014, The Game Awards is an annual ceremony featuring live performances, celebrity presenters, major industry announcements, and world premiere trailers. More than 26 million people streamed the awards last year.

This year’s nominees are led by games like “Death Stranding,” “Fortnite,” “Control,” “Apex Legends,” and “Super Smash Bros. Ultimate,” all of which received three or more nominations. The Game Awards also includes special categories for unique genres, independent releases, virtual reality, and esports.


The Game Awards advisory board includes executives from more than a dozen major gaming companies, including Xbox, Nintendo, Sony Interactive Entertainment, Valve, and Tencent.

Fans can help choose the winners in every category on the event’s website or by searching “TGA vote” on Google. You can vote for a winner in each category once per day through December 11 — your vote will be authenticated with an existing social media or Google account. (Chinese viewers can use Bilibili to vote.)

The Game Awards ceremony will be held on December 12 at the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles at 5:30 p.m. PT. The awards will be streamed live on more than 60 different international platforms — including YouTube, Twitch, Twitter, Facebook, and Mixer — but tickets to attend the event in person are also on sale now.

Cinemark Theatres across the United States will host a special event in 53 of its theaters where it’ll pair a live simulcast of the awards with the world premiere screenings of “Jumanji: The Next Level.”

Here’s the full list of The Game Awards 2019 nominees:

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“Death Stranding”

(Kojima Productions)

Game of the Year

  • “Control” (Remedy/505 Games)
  • “Death Stranding” (Kojima Productions/Sony Interactive Entertainment)
  • “Super Smash Bros. Ultimate” (Bandai-Namco/Sora/Nintendo)
  • “Resident Evil 2” (Capcom/Capcom)
  • “Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice “(From Software/Activision)
  • “The Outer Worlds” (Obsidian/Private Division)
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“Resident Evil 2”

(Capcom)

Best Game Direction

  • “Control” (Remedy/505 Games)
  • “Death Stranding” (Kojima Productions/SIE)
  • “Resident Evil 2” (Capcom/Capcom)
  • “Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice” (From Software/Activision)
  • “Outer Wilds” (Mobius Digital/Annapurna)
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“Control”

(505 Games)

Best Narrative

  • “A Plague Tale: Innocence” (Asobo/Focus Home)
  • “Control” (Remedy/505)
  • “Death Stranding “(Kojima Productions/SIE)
  • “Disco Elysium” (ZA/UM)
  • “The Outer Worlds” (Obsidian/Private Division)
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“Cadence of Hyrule”

(Nintendo)

Best Score/Music

  • “Cadence of Hyrule” (Brace Yourself Games/Nintendo)
  • “Death Stranding” (Kojima Productions/SIE)
  • “Devil May Cry 5” (Capcom)
  • “Kingdom Hearts III” (Square Enix)
  • “Sayonara Wild Hearts” (Simogo/Annapurna)
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“Call of Duty: Modern Warfare”

(Activision)

Best Audio Design

  • “Call of Duty: Modern Warfare” (Infinity Ward/Activision)
  • “Control” (Remedy/505)
  • “Death Stranding” (Kojima Productions/SIE)
  • “Gears 5” (The Coalition/Xbox Game Studios)
  • “Resident Evil 2” (Capcom)
  • “Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice” (From Software/Activision)
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“Gears 5”

(Xbox Game Studios)

Best Performance

  • Ashly Burch as Parvati Holcomb, “The Outer Worlds”
  • Courtney Hope as Jesse Faden, “Control”
  • Laura Bailey as Kait Diaz, “Gears 5”
  • Mads Mikkelsen as Cliff, “Death Stranding”
  • Matthew Porretta as Dr. Casper Darling, “Control”
  • Norman Reedus as Sam Porter Bridges, “Death Stranding”
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“Concrete Genie”

Games for Impact

  • “Concrete Genie” (Pixelopus/SIE)
  • “Gris” (Nomada Studio/Devolver)
  • “Kind Words” (Popcannibal)
  • “Life is Strange 2” (Dontnod/Square Enix)
  • “Sea of Solitude” (Jo-Mei Games/EA)
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(Apex Legends)

Best Ongoing Game

  • “Apex Legends” (Respawn)
  • “Destiny 2” (Bungie)
  • “Final Fantasy XIV” (Square Enix)
  • “Fortnite” (Epic Games)
  • “Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Siege” (Ubisoft Montreal/Ubisoft)
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“Outer Wilds”

(Annapurna Interactive)

Best Independent Game

  • “Baba Is You” (Hempuli)
  • “Disco Elysium” (ZA/UM)
  • “Katana ZERO” (Askiisoft/Devoler)
  • “Outer Wilds” (Mobius Digital/Annapurna)
  • “Untitled Goose Game” (House House/Panic)
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“Sayonara Wild Hearts”

(Annapurna)

Best Mobile Game

  • “Call of Duty: Mobile” (TiMi Studios/Activision)
  • “GRINDSTONE” (Capybara Games)
  • “Sayonara Wild Hearts” (Simogo/Annapurna)
  • “Sky: Children of Light” (Thatgamecompany)
  • “What the Golf?” (Tribland)
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“Fortnite”

(Epic Games)

Best Community Support

  • “Apex Legends” (Respawn/EA)
  • “Destiny 2” (Bungie)
  • “Final Fantasy XIV” (Square Enix)
  • “Fortnite “(Epic Games)
  • “Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Siege” (Ubisoft Montreal/Ubisoft)
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(Squanch Games)

Best VR/AR Game

  • “Asgard’s Wrath” (Sanzaru Games/Oculus Studios)
  • “Blood Truth” (SIE London Studio/SIE)
  • “Beat Saber” (Beat Games)
  • “No Man’s Sky” (Hello Games)
  • “Trover Saves the Universe” (Squanch Games)
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“Devil May Cry 5”

(Capcom)

Best Action Game

  • “Apex Legends” (Respawn/EA)
  • “Astral Chain” (Platinum Games/Nintendo)
  • “Call of Duty: Modern Warfare” (Infinity Ward/Activision)
  • “Devil May Cry 5” (Capcom/Capcom)
  • “Gears 5” (The Coalition/Xbox Game Studios)
  • “Metro Exodus” (4A Games/Deep Silver)
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“Borderlands 3”

(Gearbox Software)

Best Action/Adventure Game

  • “Borderlands 3” (Gearbox/2K)
  • “Control” (Remedy/505 Games)
  • “Death Stranding” (Kojima Productions/SIE)
  • “Resident Evil 2” (Capcom)
  • “The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening” (Grezzo/Nintendo)
  • “Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice” (From Software/Activision)
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(Disney/Square Enix)

Best Roleplaying Game

  • “Disco Elysium” (ZA/UM)
  • “Final Fantasy XIV” (Square Enix)
  • “Kingdom Hearts III” (Square Enix)
  • “Monster Hunter World: Iceborne” (Capcom)
  • “The Outer Worlds” (Obsidian/Private Division)
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“Mortal Kombat 11”

(NetherRealm Studios)

Best Fighting Game

  • “Dead or Alive 6” (Team Ninja/Koei Tecmo)
  • “Jump Force” (Spike Chunsoft/Bandai Namco)
  • “Mortal Kombat 11” (NetherRealm/WBIE)
  • “Samurai Showdown” (SNK/Athlon)
  • “Super Smash Bros. Ultimate” (Bandai Namco/Sora/Nintendo)
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“Super Smash Bros. Ultimate”

(Nintendo)

Best Family Game

  • “Luigi’s Mansion 3” (Next Level Games/Nintendo)
  • “Ring Fit Adventure” (Nintendo EPD/Nintendo)
  • “Super Mario Maker 2” (Nintendo EPD/Nintendo)
  • “Super Smash Bros. Ultimate” (Bandai Namco/Sora/Nintendo)
  • “Yoshi’s Crafted World” (Good-Feel/Nintendo)
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“Fire Emblem: Three Houses”

(Nintendo)

Best Strategy Game

  • “Age of Wonders: Planetfall” (Triumph Studios/Paradox)
  • “Anno 1800” (Blue Byte/Ubisoft)
  • “Fire Emblem: Three Houses” (Intelligent Systems/Koei Tecmo/Nintendo)
  • “Total War: Three Kingdoms” (Creative Assembly/Sega)
  • “Tropico 6” (Limbic Entertainment/Kalypso Media)
  • “Wargroove” (Chucklefish)
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“Crash Team Racing Nitro-Fueled”

(Activision)

Best Sports/Racing Game

  • Crash Team Racing Nitro-Fueled” (Beenox/Activision)
  • “DiRT Rally 2.0” (Codemasters)
  • “eFootball Pro Evolution Soccer 2020” (PES Productions/Konami)
  • “F1 2019” (Codemasters)
  • “FIFA 20” (EA Sports)
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“Tom Clancy’s The Division 2”

(Ubisoft)

Best Multiplayer Game

  • “Apex Legends” (Respawn/EA)
  • “Borderlands 3” (Gearbox/2K)
  • “Call of Duty: Modern Warfare” (Infinity Ward/Activision)
  • “Tetris 99” (Arika/Nintendo)
  • “Tom Clancy’s The Division 2” (Massive Entertainment/Ubisoft)
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(Blizzard Entertainment)

Best Esports Game

  • “Counter-Strike: Global Offensive” (Valve)
  • “DOTA2” (Valve)
  • “Fortnite” (Epic Games)
  • “League of Legends” (Riot Games)
  • “Overwatch” (Blizzard)

Best Esports Player

  • Kyle “Bugha” Giersdorf (Immortals, Fortnite)
  • Lee “Faker” Sang-hyeok (SK Telecom, League of Legends)
  • Luka “Perkz” Perkovic

Content Creator of the Year

  • Courage — Jack Dunlop
  • Dr. Lupo — Benjamin Lupo
  • Ewok — Soleil Wheeler
  • Grefg — David Martínez
  • Shroud — Michael Grzesiek

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY TACTICAL

Why the US can win a war with Russia without the Air Force

The US military and NATO have been significantly outgunned by Russia in eastern Europe for some time, but US Army generals recently laid out a plan to close the gap.

As it stands, Russia has more tanks, aircraft, better air defenses, and more long-range weapons systems than the US and NATO have in eastern Europe.


The US has known for some time that its air superiority, something the US has held over enemies for 70 years, has come under serious threat, but now they’re working on an answer.

“Because of the power and the range and the lethality of these Russian air defenses, it’s going to make all forms of air support much more difficult, and the ground forces are going to feel the effects,” Gen. Robert Brown, who commands the US Army in the Pacific, recently said, according to Military.com.

He said the answer was to “push the maximum range of all systems under development for close, deep, and strategic” strikes, and that the US has “got to outgun the enemy.”

Instead of risking US planes and pilots in covering US forces as they fight with Russia, the US should pivot to increasing the range of its rockets, artillery, and missiles, according to Brown. Then, using those systems, the US can knock out Russian defenses and keep its troops at bay, potentially fighting without air support for weeks, he said.

Brown was speaking at the Association of the United States Army’s Global Force Symposium in Huntsville, Alabama.

Russia has “got a range advantage over us in a number of different areas, particularly cannons,” John Gordon IV, a senior policy researcher at Rand Corp, said at the event. “Typically, modern Russian cannons have got 50 percent to 100 percent greater range than the current generation of US cannons.”

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The US Army’s Army Tactical Missile System.
(U.S. Army)

Brown also said the US needs to extend the range of its current systems and those in development to meet the threat, specifically by bumping up the range of the Army Tactical Missile System to 499 kilometers, just under the 500 kilometer range limit the US is bound to by an arms-control agreement.

Brig. Gen. Stephen Maranian, commandant of the Army’s Field Artillery School, said the new missiles would have “the ability to hit a ship at sea, the ability to hit moving targets on the land domain, the ability to have sub-munitions that attack heavy armored targets and have effects … and the ability to use sensors to hone in on targets. Those are all aspects of future spirals of this missile that the base Precision Strike Missile will provide,” Military.com noted.

Additionally, the US is working on a new self-propelled howitzer that would increase the range out to 40 kilometers and increase the rate of fire.

Lists

6 crazy things actually found in boot camp amnesty boxes

If you’ve never shipped out to boot camp, then you’ve probably never encountered the “last chance” moment all recruits experience before their training kicks off.


Within hours of arriving, the staff gives every newbie a chance to come clean about something they may have lied about to their recruiter or throw an item or two away they weren’t supposed to bring with them into what’s known as the “amnesty box.”

If a boot does toss something away in the box, it’s confidential and they won’t be penalized. But don’t think for a second that the boxes don’t get opened by the staff for a good laugh.

Related: 6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

So, we asked a few boot camp instructors from across the branches, “what’s the craziest things you’ve found in the legendary amnesty boxes?” What they found might surprise you.

6. Commerical aircraft sized bottles of liquor — mostly empty.

We guess some recruits just want to catch a quick buzz before they walk in the fiery pit of hell known as boot camp. We can’t blame them.

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Who wants shots before our haircuts?

5. Various genres of porn.

You’re not going to get a visual on this one — you’ll just have to use your creative imagination.

4. Live and spent ammo

We’re not sure why someone would bring ammo along with them — there’s a good chance they’ll shoot a weapon soon enough.

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Leave your ammo at home, people.

3. Small drug baggies

FYI, you take a urinalysis test in boot camp, so be clean when you show up or your ass could get kicked out.

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We’re curious — who uses DC comic drug baggies?

2. Various adult toys

Again, use your freakin’ imagination.

Also Read: 7 female TV detectives who’d make badass drill instructors

1. Prepaid cell phones

Boot camp is a good place for young adults to turn their life around. Amnesty boxes are a clever way of getting rid of old, burner cell phones.

7 tips for getting away with fraternization
Burner cell phones, now with unlimited data plans.

Articles

Pentagon reportedly considering sending ground troops into Syria

The Defense Department is considering recommending the US send ground troops into Syria to fight the terrorist group ISIS, according to a source who spoke to CNN.


“It’s possible that you may see conventional forces hit the ground in Syria for some period of time,” a defense official told CNN.

There are currently hundreds of US troops in Syria offering training and assistance to US-backed local forces there. But conventional forces would likely be on the ground in larger numbers, according to CNN.

Related: General claims 60,000 ISIS fighters have been killed

CNN reported last month that Defense Secretary Jim Mattis was taking control of a Pentagon review to determine which options the Defense Department would present to President Donald Trump on the fight against ISIS.

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U.S. Army photo by Staff Sgt. Joel Salgado

The defense official CNN cites in Wednesday’s report stressed that any decision on Syria would ultimately be up to Trump.

Charles Lister, a senior fellow at the Middle East Institute and an expert on Syria, said he’s “not surprised” to see that the US is considering ground troops in Syria to fight ISIS.

“Fits Trump desire for a rapid victory + withdrawal,” he tweeted.

popular

The hilarious reactions to Germany getting knocked out of the World Cup

Despite a visibly less dominant string of qualifying matches and a questionable performance early in the group stage, as the reigning World Cup champions, when it came to the 2018 tournament, Germany could not be written off by any means. When you think about it, after handing Brazil a sound 7-1 whooping in the semi-finals in 2014, how could one even imagine that they wouldn’t even make it out of the group stage this year? Well, after a stunning 2-0 loss to South Korea — of all the teams — Germany is going home and the internet is going nuts.


For starters, Fox Sports Brazil’s reaction is both petty and priceless. Still, that 7-1 L Brazil took in 2014 is by no means better than going out in the first round. It’s better to go out early than be a world-renowned team that chokes and gets smashed in the semi-finals, especially considering the fact that Brazil had beaten Germany when it really really mattered so many times in the past, but I’m digressing here.

The American Outlaws, a band of next-generation US Soccer fans are actually offering Germany a seat on the couch of embarrassingly crippling defeat.

Maybe Americans were just generally elated that someone else besides them blew it when they didn’t have to?

Speaking of couches.

But, South Korea still isn’t even that good!

When you think about it, Germany deserved this, they just didn’t seem to play that hard.

The fans are pissed.

The fans are shocked.

But, it’s been a weird week in general anyway.

Meanwhile, everyone who stood to benefit from their elimination *cough cough* England and Mexico, are turning all the way up right now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiK1whjBOrs

www.youtube.com

Still, it’s not like Germany’s exit is unfounded. This is the third World Cup in which the reigning champs have gone out in the first round. Italy did it in 2010 and Spain did it in 2014. Plus their exit gives less experienced but talented teams like Mexico and South Korea a chance to prove themselves in the round of 16 and that’s something to be excited about.

This article originally appeared on Fatherly. Follow @FatherlyHQ on Twitter.