15 celebrities we'd love to see in boot camp - We Are The Mighty
Humor

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp

Celebrities are celebrities for a variety of reasons but mainly because they draw massive interest from the general population in one way or another. We watch them in the movies and enjoy their TV shows because they do some pretty incredible and entertaining things, and we wonder what it’d be like in their world.


But we also wonder if they could hack it in ours.

There are a few stars who also served, but we took it a step further and imagined what it would be like if different celebs joined the military, including what branch they belong in based on their personality (or our amusement).

Related: 15 awful hand salutes that don’t even come close

Check out the celebrities we’d love to see go through boot camp:

1. Andy Samberg (Coast Guard)

Well, he’s already on a boat.

Take a good hard look at the M***** F****** boat.

2. Gordon Ramsey (Marines)

He’d be perfect as a future drill instructor.

He was born for it.

3. Zac Efron (Navy)

There’s something about him sailing away that just works for us.

Have fun in boot camp Seaman Recruit Efron.

4. Miley Cyrus (Army)

She knows how to party it up in the USA.

You swing those hips girl.

5. 50 Cent (Air Force)

Let’s face it, they rarely get shot at and he could use a break.

Off to the recruiter’s office he goes.

6. Katy Perry (Marines)

Because she already has the uniform and the haircut.

Sing that sh*t girl.

7. John Cena (Marines)

He played one in the movie — he could probably pull it off in real life, right?

See, he’s using his MCMAP skills.

8. Dwayne Johnson (Marines)

He just looks like he’d be a good sergeant major one day.

Introducing Sgt. Maj. Rock.

9. Harry Styles (Army)

Because his time in the British Army didn’t work out too well #Dunkirk.

#RIPOneDirection

10. Jessica Simpson (Army)

She needs redemption for her movie Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous.

Although, she looks great in that uniform.

11. Zach Galifianakis (Navy)

He’d be a funny Top Gun candidate.

12. Kevin Hart (Army)

Who wouldn’t want this guy telling jokes after a drill instructor just went ballistic on a recruit’s unlocked foot locker?

So true.

13. Taylor Swift (Army)

We figured she’d get immediately married then divorced right after.

She knows. That’s why she’s laughing.

14. Kim Kardashian (Air Force)

No one would fail a uniform inspection with her in the squadron. (Might fail everything else, though…)

You gotta hand it to her — the girl knows fashion.

15. Justin Bieber (Coast Guard)

He can swim in ankle deep water.

Or doggy paddle if you have to. Which celebs could you see in the military? Comment below.

Humor

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of Dec. 29

It’s finally the last week of 2017. And good riddance.


Celebrate the end of 2017 in the safest way possible: Avoid Navy ships at all costs.

Play it even safer with these memes.

1. “We might have a little experience in sand.”

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
We can help with target practice too.

2. $20 says they’re Marines.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
$50 says they just cleaned their weapons.

3. What did YOU do to end up here?

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Everyone who brought Bud Light ended up here anyway.

Related: The worst duty assignments for every branch of the military 

4. The only thing worse is having to go through it again.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Nothing ever happens around here… until I’m on CQ.

5. You know the Truth.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Blasphemer.

6. Where’s his Medal of Honor? (via Coast Guard Memes)

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
It’s in the mail.

Now read: 6 crazy things actually found in boot camp amnesty boxes

7. I can feel the liquor flowing through me. (via Pop Smoke)

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
It binds us all together.

8. I also don’t mind ending up at Shoney’s after the night ends.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp

9. When drinking in the Navy isn’t enough on its own. (via Decelerate Your Life)

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
For 2019, I’m considering bath salts.

Check Out: 4 of the most annoying regulations for women in the military

10. Don’t let them see you tearing up.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
And don’t stand at attention for Lee Greenwood.

11. That’s not even all of it.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
I want my Fat Leonard money.

12. Glorious Revolutionary Victorious People’s Christmas Gift.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
That’s silly. No one gets a Christmas in North Korea.

13. Start 2018 with a good attitude.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
… And like that… it was gone.

Now: This is why U.S. troops don’t use ballistic shields

Articles

6 separation beards and what they say about your personality

Being clean shaven every day in the military is an absolute must — unless you’re a special forces operator and are allowed to grow out a manly beard. Every morning, men (and some women) wake up during with a 5 o’clock shadow that is required to disappear before morning muster.


But the day you signed your DD-214 and no longer fall under the rules and regulations of shaving, it’s time to grow out that impressive separation beard — just because you can.

Not every beard is right for the individual. With several types of styles to choose from, it’s necessary to grow one that fits your specific personality. Don’t worry, we’re here to help you pick one out that fits your unique look.

Also Read: The Army may allow all soldiers to sport ‘operator beards’

1. The Mountain Man

Not to be mistaken for the “Homeless Man,” this style says “I work my ass for a living, but it’s usually somewhere outside in the cold.” It’s popular for keeping your face warm and catching food crumbs.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
You may take his life, but you’ll never take his separation beard!

2.  The Chuck Norris

One of our favorites, this traditional style relays to the world that not only can you be rugged, but you take enough time to trim up. This typically looks good enough to step into the boardroom for a presentation, then head right out to the gun range.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Chuck Norris doesn’t shave — he orders his beard to stop growing.

3. The “I’m not too worried about it”

This unique look informs the world you’re just chilling, you’re in no hurry, and whatever happens, happens.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp

Related: This Air Force fighter ace was the inspiration for ‘Mustache March’

4. The Galifianakis

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp

Named after the talent actor-comedian Zack Galifianakis, this ensures your fellow man that you’re a hard worker, but you know how to crack a good joke and don’t take life too seriously.

5. The Fuzz

Not everyone can grow a full separation beard — some of us grow them in thin-to-thick patches.

This doesn’t inform the world you have low testosterone (the male’s dominant hormone) because it isn’t a facial hair growth factor — dihydrotestosterone is the chemical that promotes thick beard growth and unfortunately is linked to hair loss. Bummer!

We still respect your commitment.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
You get points for trying.

6. The Shaggy

A fashionable look for those who received their separation paperwork and ran straight to the bar, leaving their razor or clipper behind in the barracks.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp

Did we leave any out? Comment below.

Humor

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of Oct. 20

How was your week? Anything interesting happen?


NO. Nothing of interest happened in the White House, Congress, or Hollywood. And definitely not on Twitter.

I’m joking. Of course it did, this is 2017 and everyone is mad about something… most of those people are justified, but some of them are outraged to be outraged. You can be outraged at how hilarious these military memes are.

Or you can be outraged at how boss that segue was.

1. It’s almost Halloween, are you prepared? (via Pop Smoke)

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp

2. The Navy won Jeopardy this week. (via Navy Crow)

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
This is who Army loses to every year in November.

3. At least he’s not driving. (via Disgruntled Decks)

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Baby steps.

4. When you absolutely, positively leave all your f*cks on the flightline.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Meet your new L-T!

Now read: This is what it was like fighting alongside Afghan troops

5. Sometimes you wanna show the world you skip leg day. (via Sh*t My LPO Says)

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Thank god they aren’t standard, half the ANG would lose circulation in their feet.

6. Jack O’Lanterns are meant for scaring kids, not troops.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
I bet the pie tastes bitter.

7. The Saltiest Soldiers can be found in Kuwait. (via the Salty Soldier)

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
You know who you are.

8.  Has your new sailor given up yet? (via Sh*t My LPO Says)

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
OOOOOOOOOOH HES TRYIN’

9. Remember the people who make the magic happen. (via Maintainer Nation)

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
They also don’t remember the cooks, sappers, and most of the astromech droids.

Read: This is why people yell ‘Geronimo’ when jumping from heights

10. He didn’t start the fire… (via the Salty Soldier)

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
… just the smoke.

11. This never happens in the Air Force. (via Decelerate Your Life)

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp

12. A Coastie told me this was accurate.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Now tell me what a Yeoman does.

13. This doesn’t mean what you think it does. (via Ranger Up)

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Or maybe it does. This is Ranger Up, after all.

Now: That time a US Navy fighter accidentally shot itself down

Humor

11 memes that will make any infantryman laugh for hours

When you serve in the infantry, you develop a new language with your squad — which then turns into a new type of comedy.


Most service members outside the infantry community don’t truly understand our humor, but who the f*ck cares — we get it!

Related: The 13 funniest military memes for the week of March 9th

1. 99% of all military personnel would be issued this ribbon — just in boot camp.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp

2. Infantrymen hand out love with a single bullet or a full belt of ammo (via Valhalla Wear).

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Machine gunners bring their own party favors.

3. Sir, just a quick peek. Seriously, no one has to know (via Funker 530).

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
We think he’s just coloring.

4. This is the ultimate game of “chicken” (via Sh-t my LPO says).

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp

Also Read: 11 hilarious Navy memes that are freaking spot on

5. Marines love to blow sh*t up. It’s what makes them happy (via Devil Dog Nation).

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
When you need something blown up, they’ll handle it.

6.  When a clown can assemble a rifle better than an airman (via Pop Smoke).

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Maybe one day you’ll get to pistol qual.

7. That moment when you think you forgot your rifle at the FOB, but you’re back stateside (via The Salty Soldier).

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Remember, you checked it back in months ago?

8. “That’s it? All of it? There’s more to this thing, right?”

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Nope. That’s all you get.

Don’t Forget: 11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

9. Why did Carl come along to this firefight?

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
We can’t take him anywhere.

10. When you’re dressed up like a badass, but a real badass walks by you.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp

11. When you’ve been deployed way too freakin’ long (via Pop smoke).

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
This WMD is bound to go off at any time during post-deployment leave.

Humor

9 ISIS weapon fails that you have to see to believe

Take care of your gear and your gear will take care of you. Sounds simple, right?


Apparently not for terrorists. Most of them don’t thoroughly study their weapon systems before employing that power on the battlefield.

There are also the bad guys just want record themselves laying rounds down range for honor?social media purposes.

We’re glad they did because they have some epic weapon fails that we now get to laugh at.

Related: The military is going to put laser attack weapons on fighters

9. The terrorist who just can’t seem to keep his balance.

Can we get this guy a seat belt or something? (Images via Giphy)

8. This isn’t technically a weapons fail, but seeing the bad guys get smashed by a truck — we couldn’t pass that up.

Oopsie. (Images via Giphy)

7. You gotta love a funny ISIS negligent discharge every once in a while.

We guess he’s not used to touching something sensitive. (Images via Giphy)

Also Check Out: 9 weapon fails that will make you shake your head

6. Somebody didn’t properly lube their rifle before the ambush.

This is why terrorists can’t have nice things. (Images via Giphy)

5. There’s never a trained mortarman around when you need one.

Someone call the EOD techs. (Images via Giphy)

4. When you lie on your resume to get the tank driver position…but you get the job anyways.

Your left or my left? (Images via Giphy)

3. Just when you think you found a brilliant new way to fire that rocket you stole.

It looked good on paper. (Images via Giphy)

2. When you’re too focused lining up that perfect shot, but an American sniper ruins it.

Even the camera knew to get down. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: This is who would win a shoot off between a ‘Ma Deuce’ and a Minigun

1. When your rocket just doesn’t have enough juice.

Maybe next time. (Images via Giphy)

Humor

5 Army instructions that are broken down way too stupidly

Sometimes you just got to break it down, “Barney-style,” for some soldiers. You know, instruct them in such an easy-to-follow manner that even a kid watching Barney could understand.


As much as we’d all like to pretend that no one in our unit got into the Army through an ASVAB waiver, the fact remains: There’re friggin’ idiots everywhere who need to be told exactly what to do. There are so many simple instructions in the Army, designed so that even our crayon-eating Marine brothers could easily follow them.

Related: 6 reasons soldiers hate on the Marines

These are our favorite, dumbed-down directions.

5. Claymore Mine

Need to set up a Claymore anti-personnel mine, but you’re not quite sure which direction it’s supposed to be pointed? Just remember: front toward enemy.

Mess that up and everyone who’s left in your unit will f*cking hate you.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
At least it lets the as***le Prius driver behind you know to stop tailgating. (Image via Reddit)

4. Army Combatives

If you’ve never had the opportunity to glance through the old-school Army Combatives Manual, you’re missing out.

You’re skipping out on learning lovely, advanced techniques, like how to uppercut someone, how to palm-strike someone in the chin, and, of course…

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
…the swift kick to the nuts: the great equalizer. (Image via Army)

3. MRE

The much-joked-about, flameless heater in the MRE seems simple enough. Put in water, fold the ends, and lean against a “rock or something.”

It actually was meant as a joke when the designer said, “I don’t know. Let’s make it a rock or something.”

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Instructions unclear; got troops stuck in 15-year war. (Image by WATM)

2. AT-4

Pretend you’ve never touched a rocket launcher before. How would you hold it?

Thankfully, the instructions include a tiny drawing and the words, “fire like this.”

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
How else would you be able to fire it? (Image via IMFDB)

1. Army Combat Boots

It’s so simple. It’s written in black and white. Our boots are not authorized for flight or combat use.

Come on, guys. What kind of idiot would void the warranty like that? Oh…

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Apparently, this is just so they don’t need to replace our boots. Thanks, Army. (Image via Reddit)

Humor

The Navy used the ‘Friday Funnies’ to make the Navy safer

Those who serve in the military always face a certain amount of risk. From the outside, many people think that combat with the enemy is the only danger, but troops face all sorts of peril and uncertainty, both at war and in peacetime training missions. For example, a recent, tragic accident hit the news when a Navy flight surgeon was struck and killed while on-base at Camp Pendleton.


Fatalities like these make headlines, but there are many smaller accidents that happen within the military, too — some of which are preventable with just a little thought. For a while, the Navy Safety Center used humor to drive home the need to think things through while on duty, while off duty, or even while in one’s own kitchen. Every week, from 1992 until the retirement of Derek Nelson in 2015, the Navy Safety Center sent out a brief message to the fleet every Friday.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Sailors assigned to amphibious transport dock ship USS Somerset (LPD 25) respond to an accident scene on the flight deck during an aircraft firefighting drill simulation. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Vladimir Ramos)

“Some people think safety is serious business, and of course it is. People get maimed, blinded, and killed, but in terms of getting the message out, humor has a real role to play,” Nelson said in a 2007 Navy release. The Navy began to call these weekly messages, the “Friday Funnies.”

In one release, Nelson highlighted the folly of taking shortcuts. The release told the cautionary tale of two Marine sergeants who tried to take a shortcut to get some training and ended up flipping the vehicle they were in. Thanks to seatbelts and airbags, they walked away with just scratches and bruises. Another release mentioned how an Army “man overboard” drill using a real Soldier lead to the need to call in a Navy P-3 for assistance — the Soldier was found three hours later.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Seaman Max Norum, a corpsman with Headquarters and Support Company, 1st Supply Battalion, treats Sgt. Brandon Jackson for injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident aboard Camp Pendleton, Calif. (USMC photo)

Sometimes, however, the releases were not so funny. One from May 2008 discussed the death of a Navy petty officer first class in a street luge accident that occurred while he was on leave. In this case, Nelson looked over the deceased sailor’s MySpace page and noted that twice the sailor had posted about “injuries that may have warranted a WESS injury report or at least counseling from his supervisor.”

It’s been two years since Nelson’s retirement and the last of the “Friday Funnies.” Even then, Nelson noted that the “juicy” tales had grown scarcer, writing in his retirement message that “it has been getting harder to find them in the mishap reports. I’ll chalk this fact up as progress, and I’ll be gone before anyone can prove different.”

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Sailors assigned to Helicopter Sea Combat Squadron (HSC) 3 stand in formation to signify that HSC-3 has reached 250,000 consecutive flight hours without a Class A mishap. A Class A mishap is classified as an accident with a destroyed aircraft, damages that exceed $2 million, a loss of life or a permanent total disability. (U.S. Navy photo illustration by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Amanda Huntoon)

The Friday Funnies were effective for over 23 years, though. Nelson said in 2007, “I get emails from people saying they almost did something stupid but stopped at the last minute because they didn’t want to end up in the Friday Funnies.” The best incidents were preserved in a magazine – no word on when the full archives will be available online.

In the meantime, Nelson describes how he made the magic happen in this 2011 video.

 

Articles

Why you should never run through smoke you didn’t throw

When Army basic training soldier Jennifer Campbell was told to run through smoke on the obstacle course, she leaned into it and went for the awesome photo moment of charging through the thickest plume of smoke.


Want more? This is why officers should just stay in the office

Unfortunately for her, it wasn’t white smoke; it was o-chlorobenzylidene malononitrile, a potent form of tear gas used to teach basic trainees to trust their chemical masks and other gear. But Campbell wasn’t wearing chemical gear; she was running full speed and sucking down air on an obstacle course.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Jennifer Campbell, a U.S. Army basic trainee, cries after getting hit in the face with CS gas. (Go90 No Sh*t There I Was screenshot)

So the young soldier got two lungs full of the agitating gas, forcing violent coughs as her drill sergeants got a good laugh and the other trainees scrambled to get their masks on.

But what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and Campbell got her own laughs when the winds shifted and the rest of her platoon got hit unprotected, including the drill sergeant who triggered her episode. See how it all went down in the Go90 video embedded at the top.

Watch more No Sh*t There I Was:

Why it sucks to report to the ‘Good Idea Fairy’

A Ranger describes what being a ‘towed jumper’ is actually like

This is why the military shouldn’t completely outlaw hazing

Smooth talking your way through gear turn-in is a stinky proposition

Humor

The 6 most OFP jobs in the military

For the uninitiated, OFP is a military initialism that means, “own f*cking program.” The term is commonly used by one service member in reference to another that seems to be immune from formations, uniform inspections, working parties, and the general tomf*ckery that goes along with being a part of the world’s most elite fighting forces.


This is not to say these individuals do not work hard or are not important to the fight. In fact, in most situations, the reason they are OFP is because of the vital tasks they perform — sometimes at odd hours.

Let’s explore the duties and responsibilities of the individuals the military allows to be on their own f*cking program.

Related: The origin of the ‘best’ rank in the Marines (Lance Corporal)

1. Military Working Dog Handler – all services

Military Working Dog handlers are responsible for the care and training of his or her service dog, which contributes to combat operations abroad and installation security at home by providing targeted odor detection (explosive/drug).

Service dogs, generally seen as a non-lethal option for neutralizing a threat, also serve as a psychological deterrent during law enforcement operations.

In other words, these badasses are expected to play with their dogs — it’s their job and no one can tell them not to.

2. Ammunition Technicians – all services (various titles)

Ammo techs do everything that needs to be done regarding ammunition, including receipt, storage, issue, and handling of ammunition and toxic chemicals.

They often spend hours driving around to various ranges ensuring compliance with standards regarding ammo. They often have their own office and a parking spot at the S-shops — all as an E-4.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp

 

3. Enlisted Aide for Generals/Admirals – all services

Speaking of OFP, enlisted aides are responsible for… well, I’ll let the official enlisted aide guidebook do the talking:

The good news is your only boss is a general and he/she is usually very busy.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Serving more than the country. (Photo by Tony Lopez)

4. CBRN Defense Specialist – all services (various titles)

These are the sadists adorned in gas masks and HAZMAT suits, making their military brothers and sisters cry with CS gas (commonly called “tear gas” by Eagles fans).

They are tasked with monitoring, detecting, training for, and advising anything that has to do with Chemical, Biological, Radiological, or Nuclear threats.

CBRN personnel are often ridiculed for their abundant “spare time.”

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Yes, YES! It’s perfect! (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Brendan King)

5. Religious Program Specialist/Chaplain Assistant (“Chap-Ass”) – all services except the Marines

These motivators are tasked with supporting chaplains in any area that does not require ordination or pastoral counseling.

The title explains most of the job, however, these guys have one boss and he or she is generally the most understanding, kind, and generally happy person in uniform.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Let us pray. (U.S. Navy photo by Seaman Specialist Sabrina Fine)

Also Read: 7 things you didn’t know about the Marine Jungle Warfare Training Center

6. Marine Corps Infantry Weapons Specialist – aka “GUNNER”

A “Marine Gunner” is qualified to train Marines on the proper employment of all weapons systems organic to the infantry.  That includes, but is not limited to, pistols, rifles, machine-guns, rockets, mortars, missiles, explosives, and their associated accessories.

To qualify for selection as a “Marine Gunner,” you must be a Gunnery Sergeant with 16 years active duty in the infantry and have served as an Infantry Platoon Sergeant. Upon selection, Marines are promoted to the rank of Chief Warrant Officer 2, but a “Marine Gunner” is always referred to as “Gunner,” never CWO.

There are about 102 Gunners total in the Corps.

After a tour with an infantry battalion, they move on to billets as regimental and divisional Gunners, range OICs, and various other positions where Gunners continue to teach infantry skills to Marines.

And nobody… nobody, tells a Gunner to do sh*t.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
The Legendary Gunner Wade. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Alan Adison)

Humor

7 phrases old school veterans can’t stop saying

Old school veterans are easy to spot; just look for the guy or gal wearing their retired military ball cap or that dope leather vest covered in customized patches.


If you ever get a chance to speak with one of them, we guarantee you’re in for a pretty good story.

Related: This legendary Navy skipper sank 19 enemy ships

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp

With pride streaming from their pores and a sense of realism in their voice, most vets don’t hesitate to speak their mind — and we love them for it.

The next time to get the chance to hear their tales of triumph, count how many times they say a few these phrases:

1. “We had it harder.”

For some, levels of accomplishments of service is a d*ck measuring contest. Don’t be offended, but let’s face it, you probably should be.

2. “Keep your head and your ass wired together.”

If you have a mom or dad that’s a vet, you’ve probably heard this at one time or another when you’ve made an immature mistake. The human ass is considered the body’s anchor point; keep your head wired to it and you’ll have fewer chances of losing it.


3. “Back in my day…”

A lot has changed over the years; we have fast internet, text messaging, and first world problems now. Many older vets are don’t rely on the pleasures of technology to help them with their daily lives. They tend to stick with they know best for them.

You may hear this line when a former service member fumbles with his credit card while paying for an item at the checkout counter or just sitting with one as they recall a moment from the good ole’ days.

4. “It’s a free country. You’re welcome.”

Face it, they can be grumpy old men too.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Clint Eastwood plays Walt Kowalski, a disgruntled Korean War veteran in 2008s Gran Torino and plays him well. (Warner Brothers)

5. “I miss killing Nazis.”

Mostly spoken by WWI and WWII vets — let’s hope anyway.

6. “Baby-wipes? We only had sand paper.”

Being deployed these days, you can still have many of the comforts of home, including a music player, a laptop, and video games. We even receive care packages from home containing candy, snacks, and baby wipes.

Baby wipes are man’s second best friend when fighting in any clime and place. The soft sanitizing sheets can clean just about anything — or at least feel and look clean.

Back in the day, grunts packed a few extra smokes and a photo of their hometown girlfriend, Barbara Jean, and then had to wipe their butts with what came folded and cramped in their MREs, which was a piece of coarse, square paper.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Standard issue toilet paper. One size wipes almost all.

Although wet naps debuted in the late 1950s, it wasn’t until 2005 when wet/baby wipes came on the market as the more bum friendly product we know today.

7. “If it ain’t raining, we ain’t training.”

Probably the most common phrase in a vet era. This phrase is usually spoken in a sarcastic tone to inform others how much of a p**** they are if they want to quit an outdoors activity when the rain starts coming down.

A little rain never hurt anybody.

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Articles

4 gross non-battle injuries medics have to look at

Corpsmen and medics who serve in the infantry have their work cut out for them. They wake up at the butt-crack of dawn for patrol, maybe get shot at a few times, then head back to base to eat chow.


They serve as infantrymen until they have to kick into doctor mode and patch up their buddies’ wounds; this involves putting their hands into some weird cavities, but it’s all part of the job.

Every once in a while they may even have to take care of the bad guys for various reasons. Sometimes it’s just for a simple sore throat and other times it’s for something a whole lot nastier.

 Related: 5 key differences between Army medics and Navy corpsmen

War is fought in some dirty places, like the trenches of World War I, the foxholes of World War II, and the jungles of Vietnam. Many of the injuries medics treat on the battlefield don’t come from bullets or bombs — they’re from unsanitary conditions.

So check out these gross things medics have to look at and be able to treat on a day-to-day basis.

1. Ingrown toenails

Ingrown toenails are the result of poor foot care and bad grooming practices.

A well-executed toenail extraction. (Images via Giphy)

2. MRSA

Stands for “Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus” and it’s meaner than your ordinary pimple. On the surface, it doesn’t look too frightening. But below the skin, it’s chewing you up.

See a professional before popping. (Images via Giphy)

3. Mouth ulcers

With a variety of known causes, mouth ulcers are typically related to a viral infection in the body. Pain management is required or everything that touches the sores will hurt.

I told you everything hurt a mouth sore. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: 6 things corpsmen should know before going to the ‘Greenside’

4. Bacterial conjunctivitis

Better known as pink eye, the beginning stage isn’t so bad. But left untreated, the condition could lead to losing an eye. What’s nasty about this ailment is that it’s typically produced by poop particles floating in the air and getting in your eyes.

Anyone can get pink eye so wear your eye protection out there, people.  (Images via Giphy)What gross non-battle things have you seen on deployment? Comment below.

Humor

The 13 funniest memes for the week of Jan. 12th

It’s the second week of January and the gym seems to be about back to normal.


The weather is getting there, so take advantage of drawing d*cks in the snow while you can. Looking at you, Navy.

13. “But the Marines took a lot of little islands!” — “We took a lot of little countries.”

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
(Image via Army as F*ck)

12. Pick something that has a weak enough scent that whatever you mix it in will over power it (like rum in a coke) and sip from it all day.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Everyone below E5, and most LTs. (Image via Army as F*ck)

11. “I keep paying $20 towards it a month. Why does it keep going up?”

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
We told you not to buy that stupid TV. (Image via Army as F*ck)

10. The PX barbershop only ever gives, like, four or five different haircuts. And yet they f*ck them all up.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Now you’re *really* not getting laid this weekend. (Image via Army as F*ck)

9. If a girl in a bikini can get 10,000+ likes, how many can we get for our homeless veterans?

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Make it rain, America. (Image via ASMDSS)

8. Since it’s the same four HDDs floating around, that means you probably re-downloaded the same videos at least twice by now…

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
You’re gross and we’re all judging you. (Image via Decelerate Your Life)

7. “But Sergeant! I need you to-“

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Back away slowly. Don’t make eye contact. (Image via Decelerate Your Life)

6. “Hearts and minds,” right? Two in the heart. One in the mind.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Double-tap so terrorists know you care. (Image via Military Memes)

5. If the Coast Guard goes to the range more than you do, you’re a super POG.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
Semper Paratus. (Image via Military Memes)

4. Whatever you say, Staff Sergeant. Your neckline can only help you out so much.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
January PT hurts. (Image via Pop Smoke)

3. It’s even worse if you’re drunk.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
You’re probably why we even have safety briefs. (Image via Pop Smoke)

2. Can’t tell which one gave the least amount of f*cks: the NCO who signed off on the original DA 5988-E or the mechanic that typed it up.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
It’s next to the adjustable powerband. (Image via USAWTFM

1. Looks like an ingenious plan but if he got locked in there that CBRN gear will be Hell.

15 celebrities we’d love to see in boot camp
I am begging you to shut those doors. (Image via USAWTFM)

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