Humor

5 reasons MPs hate on firefighters

Posted On April 02, 2021 01:00:00

Many, many years ago, before social media, a quiet intra-branch war raged. Perhaps more fiercely fought than any of the sibling rivalries between branches, this war was once the ultimate pissing contest.

Respective chiefs would urge their troops to destroy their counterparts whenever possible. Fundraiser? If we didn’t beat anyone else, we had to beat them. Intramural sports? The same general rule applied: Beat Fire!

There is a friendly fight that has lasted generations, but many of its participants don’t know why. Here are 5 pretty good reasons why MPs hate on firefighters:

Related: 7 reasons the Air Force hates on the Army

1. Better toys

MP vehicles, when in service, typically run for the majority of the day. They’re handed over from one shift to the next, racking up the miles and the dings.

Also, it doesn’t help that many MP vehicles seem to mysteriously gather “unexplainable” tears and marks in the interior while aging in dog years on the exterior.

Conversely, firefighter vehicles typically look ready for a magazine shoot at all times.

5 reasons MPs hate on firefighters — Show-ready.

2. Better quality of life

Physical training is just a part of life for all military members. In that regard, MPs and firefighters are no different.

Actually, there is a relatively big difference: Firefighters get to enjoy a workout while on duty.

Many of their stations are equipped with actual gyms. They also get to play various sports while, technically, on duty. They also have a full kitchen, usually stocked with wonderfully delicious options, and they get to sleep… while on duty.

3. More pay

Way back, in my earliest days in uniform, I recall having to eat at the base dining facility. It wasn’t bad food, per se, but it was hard to access given the long hours.

Often, we’d have to settle for a boxed lunch, aka box nasty, from the flight kitchen or spend out of pocket to get something else. None of this would have bothered me had it not been common knowledge that every firefighter gets a subsistence allowance.

My fellow young Airmen and I felt like unclaimed stepchildren. Do we not have comparable hours? Are we not also first responders, unable to regularly make it to the DFAC? Are we not equal? According to mama Air Force, f*ck no.

4. Nobody else hates firefighters

Seriously. Have you ever heard anyone say, “f*ck firemen”?

Something about not having that same “untouchable” social status just makes it easy to hate them.

Also Read: 5 things we wish we knew before joining the Air Force

5. More camaraderie

There is a well-known stigma that MPs, Security Forces in particular, eat their own. It’s a tough environment to live and thrive in.

This isn’t to say that firefighters don’t have their own mess, but, from the outside, it seems that they cover for each other as much as possible.

That same camaraderie can be found in many corners of the MP life, but seemingly not on the same level as our firefighting brethren.

Humor

10 times Russian troll-bots fooled the West

Business Insider

Posted On March 31, 2018 02:58:30

During the 2016 election, Russian-linked bots and trolls on social media attempted to inflame relations among Americans by spreading fake news and highlighting vulnerable racial and political divisions. They bought ads on Twitter and shared posts on Facebook, concealing their identities while pretending to be real Americans.

But the Kremlin has another, more conspicuous way of spreading propaganda and trolling the West that doesn’t normally get as much attention.

In the last few years, Russia has used official government Twitter accounts to undermine the West and hit back against criticism, often with tantalizing and meme-filled rhetoric. The Twitter accounts of Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MFA) and its Embassy in the UK, both of which tweet in English, have been particularly active.

On Nov. 14 for example, after UK Prime Minister Theresa May slammed Russia for planting fake stories and photo-shopping images on social media “in an attempt to sow discord in the West,” Russia’s MFA tweeted a satirical response.

#UK Prime Minister @theresa_may on @Russia: “We know what you are doing”. We know what YOU are doing as well. Dear Theresa, we hope, one day you will try Crimean #Massandra red wine? pic.twitter.com/XmqT9ghSef

— MFA Russia ?? (@mfa_russia) November 14, 2017

This was just the latest in a string of official Russian government tweets aimed at sparking controversy among Moscow’s adversaries.

Also Read: 9 epic ways you can troll your radio guy

In a report published Nov. 13, the watchdog group Freedom House noted that in few places is “the hypocritical link between state propaganda and legal restrictions on the media stronger than in Russia.” This gives Russia monopoly over the flow of information within its borders. Increasingly, the report says, Russia has used similar information manipulation tactics abroad.

Here are 9 other times Russia has used its official Twitter accounts to troll Western leaders and the media:

The Russian Embassy in the UK reacted to former President Barack Obama expelling diplomats and closing Russian compounds in December 2016 in retaliation for meddling in the US election.

President Obama expels 35 ?? diplomats in Cold War deja vu. As everybody, incl ?? people, will be glad to see the last of this hapless Adm. pic.twitter.com/mleqA16H8D

— Russian Embassy, UK (@RussianEmbassy) December 29, 2016

Stories of Russian hacking and election interference became more widespread in the US, and the Russian Embassy was at it again.

It’s like epidemic, or fashion? in the West with everybody claiming being hacked by Russia. pic.twitter.com/95R0CW1FdL

— Russian Embassy, UK (@RussianEmbassy) February 12, 2017

Theresa May said Belgium was meddling in its general election — and Russia was happy they weren’t being accused this time.

Praise God it’s not Russia this time pic.twitter.com/irebYz8aKE

— Russian Embassy, UK (@RussianEmbassy) May 4, 2017

The CIA tweeted it was looking for Americans who can speak Russian and who are interested in national security issues. Of course, Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs had a response.

.@CIA, thanks for support promotion of Russian language. Why have U been hiding it? We are ready to assist with experts recommendations pic.twitter.com/YeQQiGWIJ7

— MFA Russia ?? (@mfa_russia) October 2, 2017

Hillary Clinton visited the UK to promote her new book about the 2016 election in October 2017, and the embassy drew a parallel between what she was condemning.

What a mix! pic.twitter.com/efizkSor4k

— Russian Embassy, UK (@RussianEmbassy) October 16, 2017

Newspapers reported that pundits are trying to prevent the Trump administration from smoothing US-Russia relations, and the Russian Embassy responded with a Pepe the Frog meme the alt-right uses.

In today’s papers: pundits call on @Theresa_May to disrupt possible Russia-US thaw. No trust in Britain’s best friend and ally? pic.twitter.com/4TNf9x8PCh

— Russian Embassy, UK (@RussianEmbassy) January 9, 2017

Amid fears of spying, England said its football team would travel in Russia with a surveillance team. The Russian Embassy shot back with a zinger about England’s football team.

A football team would be a better option pic.twitter.com/4Psj4ZkGy5

— Russian Embassy, UK (@RussianEmbassy) October 10, 2017

Critics alleged that President Donald Trump is a Russian pawn, and the Russian Embassy shared a meme from “The Great Gatsby.”

To really special people like @LouiseMensch and @funder who keep telling the world that @POTUS is a Russian puppet. pic.twitter.com/eURm0zhjKP

— Russian Embassy, UK (@RussianEmbassy) April 10, 2017

The British member of parliament leading the UK investigation into Russian election meddling talked about fake news, and the Russian Embassy egged him on with some #ThursdayThoughts.

Don’t be shy, @DamianCollins! When one lies, it should be a big lie, and one should stick to it (Goebbels) #ThursdayThoughts pic.twitter.com/w4lImLRcwo

— Russian Embassy, UK (@RussianEmbassy) November 9, 2017

Keep Reading

Humor

The 13 funniest memes for the week of Jan. 19th

Eric Milzarski

Posted On February 05, 2020 18:59:53

What a week — just a little bit of snow hits the ground and suddenly everyone starts eating Tide Pods.

Well, whatever your reason for not being at work (or if you’re looking at these from the office latrine — we don’t judge), enjoy these fresh memes!

13. We should probably cut the Hawaiian Missile Defense dude a little bit of slack…

12. They’re on a mission from DoD.

11. …but who will play with all the cool sh*t now?

10. I mean, he’s not wrong…

9. Still only getting 10% from the VA.

8. Grunts eat MREs for 12 months and expect an Oscar or something.

7. Who needs a chaplain when you have an NCO?

6. Don’t follow the LT. He can’t show you dah way.

5. I bet his recruiter also told him he’d travel the world and get f*cked every day. Technically not a lie.

4. The more the merrier, right?

3. There’s the “Good Idea Fairy” and then there’s the “Actual Idea Fairy.”

2. We’re also ready to send them a bunch of Vikings Super Bowl LII Champion shirts as well. (Too soon?)

1. I guess you could say his enlistment was, Gone with the Wind.

Keep Reading

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of Aug. 4

Logan Nye

Posted On February 05, 2020 18:59:09

Congrats to everyone who ETSed this week. For the rest of you, here’s a little soul-balm to get you through any weekend duties you got assigned.

13. It’s fine. All that yelling is just part of your life now (via ASMDSS).

12. Boots are gonna boot (via Coast Guard Memes).

ALSO SEE: This is a perfect example of how ridiculous boot camp is

11. For instance, he could be giving into his newfound alcoholism (via Decelerate Your Life).

10. It’s really the only proper way to greet a career counselor (via Decelerate Your Life).

9. Junior enlisted have lots of idea (via Decelerate Your Life).

8. The Marine Corps pays you to drive, not to think (via Military World).

7. Why are Marines so cranky? They got all them nice sketches and no crayons to color them with (via Sh-t my LPO says).

6. To be honest, you only think she looks that good at homecoming (via Sh-t my LPO says).

5. “Driver” and “passenger” sides aren’t good enough for you Navy? (via Sh-t my LPO says)

4. Any unit that lets you wear that to work is worth a second chance (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

3. This isn’t going to end well for anyone (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

2. With that haircut and those tan lines, the ID is pretty superfluous anyway (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

1. So, this one’s not technically a joke (via Air Force Nation).

Keep Reading

Humor

8 things a boot lieutenant should never say

Tim Kirkpatrick

Posted On April 24, 2018 16:08:17

We love our military officers. Let’s put that out there right now before the light, verbal hazing commences.

Once an officer is fresh out of training, we call them a ‘boot,’ which is military for being a brand new guy or gal in the service. Depending on what branch or unit you’re in, the timeline for being a boot can last a year — or until you complete a combat deployment.

In any case, the training officer candidates undergo can be quite difficult, but it can be even harder to earn the respect of the men and women who will serve under them. Earning a college degree and getting commissioned is easy compared to earning the respect of your entire unit through service.

Earning respect starts with choosing your words and how you carry yourself carefully. Here are a few words boot officers should not say for a long, long time — if ever.

Related: 4 things you should never say to a military spouse

1. “From all my experience, I think we should…”

Most enlisted troops respect all the training officers have gone through, but until they prove themselves, butterbars’ so-called experiences don’t hold much weight.

2. “With all due respect, sergeant major, my leadership skills far exceed anyone else’s in the regiment.”

Take it back, sir! Please, take back that statement, lock it up in a safe, and forget the combination — for a while.

3. “I bet you I’ll be great in a firefight.”

No one can predict that until that sh*t situation occurs.

4. “Being a commissioned officer should get me the same respect as any who have seen combat.”

We’ve met a lot of commissioned officers in our time, but it doesn’t matter how much training you’ve been through — respect is earned through distinguished service.

Most infantry officers will earn that respect soon enough.

5. “I guarantee you that I’ll be just as badass as Chesty Puller one day.”

Boot officers can dream, can’t they?

6. “I deserved to be saluted by every enlisted troop, no matter what.”

They will be, but an officer can sound like a d*ck for saying it that way.

Also Read: 7 things you’ll never hear a Marine drill instructor say

7. “Well, sergeant, in OCS we learned to attack the enemy this way.”

Who would you trust? A boot officer or an experienced enlisted troop?

8. “I wonder how similar real combat is compared to Call of Duty? Because I’m badass at that game.”

Answer: Not at all. The graphics look cool, though.

Keep Reading

Humor

6 practical jokes you played on the FNGs

Tim Kirkpatrick

Posted On June 17, 2020 20:29:33

In the military, practical jokes help pass time, generate camaraderie, and send a message of where you rank socially. The truth is, practical jokes are the reason for some of a troop’s most ingenious uses of time.

If you think about it, it can take a considerable amount of time to come up with various ways to prank somebody when they least expect it and get them to laugh about it afterward.

So, what kind of practical jokes do service members play on one another? Well, the list is long, but here are a few common ones that are easy to pull off.

www.youtube.com

Go find the blinker fluid

You know, the fluid that keeps your blinker lights shining bright? It’s an essential fluid that powers the electrical current of the blinker. So, when your sergeant or corporal tells you to go locate a bottle of blinker fluid and top off the Humvee — you better do it most ricky-freakin’-tick.

Below is a tutorial video on how to accomplish such an easy task.

Getting your mattress stamped at the quarterdeck

When you check in to your first training school or unit, it’s written in some rule book somewhere that you must get your mattress stamped at the quarterdeck before you sleep on it. This means you’ll have to haul the bed to the quarterdeck, locate the Watch, and have them whip out their “mattress stamp.”

Note: The Watch may give you a dirty look when you ask for the stamp, but that’s normal.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2FZ5eFxoKjf218c.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Fi.giphy.com&s=96&h=4728fc547bfe707911292f3f7b1cb92386b455a59086e855a9243a21b07656c2&size=980x&c=3877285127 crop_info=”%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252FZ5eFxoKjf218c.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fi.giphy.com%26s%3D96%26h%3D4728fc547bfe707911292f3f7b1cb92386b455a59086e855a9243a21b07656c2%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3877285127%22%7D” expand=1]Giphy

Getting your ID10T form signed

This is one of the most critical forms that every FNG is required to get signed by everyone in their chain of command. First, head to the personnel office and ask for it. They may give you a hard time, but it’s all apart of their SOP.

Keep demanding the paperwork until they cave.

Giphy

Pouring Tabasco sauce in a sleeping troop’s mouth

Like they say, “you’ll have time to sleep when you’re dead.” As a newbie in the field, falling asleep with your mouth open just isn’t a good idea — like ever.

Tossing a training grenade into the berthing areas

It’s only funny to the guy tossing the training grenade inside. And usually nobody ever gets hurt… for the most part. Although the act seems dangerous and childish, it’s a solid way to train your troops never to let their guard down.

Service members love to spin their shenanigan bullsh*t and make it sound like legit training. It’s our unique talent.

Giphy

Yell out, “attention on deck!” when you catch a troop dozing off

You never know when a superior officer is going to make their way over, so you need to be prepared at all times.
Don’t let them catch you slippin’.

Keep Reading

Humor

5 reasons why ‘POG’ is not a slur

Sean Dodds

Posted On April 02, 2018 17:08:26

Personnel other than grunts, or POGs, are an essential part of the fight. POGs make up the majority of the military and they perform every job that is not specifically reserved for infantry.

Any non-03 or 11B (Marine and Army infantry MOSs) that gets butthurt when someone reminds them that they do not hold a very specific MOS may need to look in the mirror and do some soul-searching. The offended are, essentially, upset that someone said they aren’t a security guard.

Infantry soldiers and Marines enjoy ribbing non-infantry personnel with the term, but when examined further, there is really nothing condescending about it.

Related: 7 things you didn’t know about the Marine Jungle Warfare Training Center

1. It doesn’t mean you won’t see combat.

Talk to any motor transport operator serving in Iraq between 2003 and 2008 and they will tell you that there is no guarantee of safety provided by your occupational specialty.

2. Infantry is ineffective without them.

This one might cause some friction, but any unit that thinks they can sustain themselves without food, water, supplies, and munitions is kidding themselves.

There are zero infantry leaders that aren’t appreciative of their logistician peers.

3. It’s a fact, not a state of being.

Whether you hold an administrative position behind a desk at the headquarters building on mainside or you’re an explosives ordinance disposal specialist clearing enemy IEDs, you are a POG. The only people who are not have an 03 or an 11B on their occupational specialty.

4. POGs learn useful skills for future employment.

Unless you want to be a security guard or security contractor, the skills mastered by infantry are not very relevant on the outside.

Of course, leadership and ability to operate under extreme pressure are handy, but these skills are not exclusive to the infantry.

Also Read: 5 things you need to know to become a Marine HRST master

5. Your job doesn’t make you hard.

Every grunt has stories of the guy who shouldn’t have been infantry and those same grunts will have POG friends they consider brothers. Your job doesn’t make you hard — you do.

So, knock that chip off your shoulder and embrace what you are, whether that’s a grunt or water purification specialist, we are all necessary cogs in the machine.

Keep Reading

Humor

8 reasons you want Commander Riker to be your CO

Blake Stilwell

Posted On March 31, 2018 03:02:13

We all have that officer we served with (or under) that we absolutely adore. We would follow them to the gates of hell or go there ourselves if they so ordered us. But, look: No one gives orders like Commander William T. Riker.

This is why you should want Picard’s “number one” to be your number one.

8. He’s genuinely a nice dude.

He doesn’t bitch when his officers call him by his first name. He remembers all his crews’ names. He’s best friends with his ex-girlfriend. He goes to his friends’ poetry readings. He even plays the trombone for people.

I mean, for a guy with so much to do as the first officer of a flagship, you wonder where he gets the energy.

7. He had a beard when it wasn’t even in regs.

How many beards do you see on Star Trek? Any show in the series. Go ahead and look – it’s not many. When you do see them, most of the time, they’re only for flag officers. Meanwhile, Riker grew his out almost immediately. He sure as hell wasn’t going to wait ’til he had a DD-214.

6. Will Riker will not be tempted by a Fat Leonard.

All the officers who were seduced by the real Fat Leonard are getting off relatively light (especially considering how the enlisted people are getting the book thrown at them), and it’s the U.S. Navy who suffers. Commander William T. Riker has no use for hookers and champagne.

Related: 5 of the most ridiculous things naval officers did with ‘Fat Leonard’

When the omnipotent alien called ‘Q’ tried to give Riker the powers of a god, Riker told him to f*ck off. Will Riker will make Captain on his own, dammit.

5. Everything bad happens to him and he’s somehow okay.

Riker had to kick his estranged father’s ass to be okay with his childhood. He was abducted by aliens who cut off his arm. Actually, he was abducted a few times. His first posting was a mutiny that resulted in the loss of the ship, he was in a transporter accident that basically duplicated him, he was infected with a parasite that turned him into a spy… The list goes on.

But Will Riker always shows up for work the next day with a clean slate. And he owns it.

4. He’s just like any other sailor.

Make no bones about it, Riker likes to drink, dance, and get down (you know what I mean). He’s a man’s man — so much so that his only real relationship had to be with a female who could read his emotions because he’s not giving anything but a wink and a smile.

He has 20 years in service and he still goes on shore leave to a place literally known as a “pleasure planet.”

3. Riker is 100 percent about equal opportunity.

He loves all beings, regardless of gender, race, and even androgyny. Even a robot or two.

I’m pretty sure he’s fine with women in combat and openly transgender Starfleet officers. He may have some trouble with the Military Equal Opportunity office, though.

2. His goddamned awesome command presence.

Nothing says, “I am confident in my ability to lead” like swinging your leg over the back of any given chair to sit down.

You know why it looks so f*cking awesome? Because he looks like a cowboy mounting up on a horse for some adventure.

1. He’s going to bring his sailors home.

There’s a reason this redshirt leads away missions and still lives. Over the seven seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation, only 57 Enterprise crew members were killed and only 14 of those died on Riker-led away missions — and they usually got the bad guy in the end.

Keep Reading

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of May 26

Logan Nye

Posted On February 05, 2020 18:59:02

The week is over, but this memes list is just getting started. Here are 13 of the best times that words were paired with a picture on the internet this week:

1. 50 feet after they step off, the airmen are dropping like flies (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).

2. The groin protectors help a little, but you’re still boned (via Military World).

3. To be fair, this is pretty exciting (via Team Non-Rec).

Also see: That time CBS captured an intense firefight in Vietnam

4. If you get it, you get it (via The Salty Soldier).

5. You seem to have a leak that has covered 70 percent of the Earth’s surface (via Decelerate Your Life).

6. It just can’t wait to get some more lifting in, make those gains (via Air Force Nation).

7. That’s one shiny bag of trash you got there (via Coast Guard Memes).

8. Might be wishing for too much (via Decelerate Your Life).

9. To all the people who still aren’t master chiefs, sorry (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).

10. Ummmm… can I opt for the cash instead? (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting)

11. They were as-holes, but jumping in with machine guns and bicycles is still pretty cool (via Military World).

12. You were supposed to do the survey long before the intranet existed (via Shit my LPO says).

13. Army tuition assistance didn’t make it into the new budget proposals (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

But you can buy a Little Golden Book for like, three bucks.

Keep Reading

Articles

A Ranger describes what being a ‘towed jumper’ is actually like

Logan Nye

Posted On February 05, 2020 18:59:08

Airborne soldiers have some particular fears that most other troops don’t have to worry about. Total malfunctions of the parachute like a “cigarette roll” can cause them to hurtle into the earth at terminal velocity while mid-air entanglements can leave them with broken bones or worse.

One of their most unique fears is that of becoming a “towed jumper,” something that happens when their chute fails to separate from their static line and they are literally towed behind the plane like the pet dog from “National Lampoon’s Vacation.”

(Younger readers should not Google that reference. Instead, just imagine the worst possible version of parasailing.)

For Army Ranger Spc. Brian Hanson, the nightmare became a reality during a training jump under the stars of Fort Benning, Georgia. He and the rest of his company were under strict orders to conduct the perfect nighttime jump, to include not losing any gear.

But Hanson’s chute failed to separate and he became a towed jumper.

This left Hanson flying through the night sky as he fervently tried to keep all of his gear as close as possible despite the wind rushing over him while he dangled 1,200 feet above the surface of Benning. Watch the video above to learn how he made peace with these developments as well as the moment when he realized he was truly screwed.

Watch more No Sht There I Was:*

Why it sucks to report to the ‘Good Idea Fairy’

This is why the military shouldn’t completely outlaw hazing

That time Linda Hamilton asked a Marine to the ball

This is a perfect example of how ridiculous boot camp is

Keep Reading

Humor

6 ways you can tell a troop isn’t an infantryman

Tim Kirkpatrick

Posted On May 15, 2018 02:08:21

Walk onto any American military base in the world, and you’re going to encounter some pretty disciplined men and women. Continue walking and you’ll also notice all the hard work each troop puts into their day.

But you may also wonder which one of them deploys and fights in combat versus those who ship off to support the war effort.

Well, we’ve got you covered.

Related: 3 key differences between Recon Marines and Marine Raiders

Here are six simple ways you can tell a troop isn’t an infantryman:

6. There are no dog tag in their boot laces.

Infantrymen wear a dog tag around their necks and another looped in their left boot — it’s tradition (and practical for identification in the worst case scenario).

A dog tag inserted into the left boot — your motivated left boot.

5. When a troop can count how many MREs they’ve eaten.

MREs — or Meals Ready to Eat — are a staple food for any grunt. The classic meal plan is the troop’s breakfast, lunch, and dinner for as long as you’re in the field or outside the wire. If a troop only had a few during boot camp…they’re probably not a grunt.

4. They remember and brag about their ASVAB score.

It doesn’t take a high ASVAB to become an infantryman. Grunts mostly brag about their shooting scores and how big their egos are versus what they got on their ASVAB.

3. They actually have morale — and you can see it in their eyes.

Read the photo caption — it’s epic.

2. When you sport a “serious face” for a photo, but you’re stationed on a beautiful military installation.

Look how happy they are!

Also Read: 6 questions you asked yourself after your first firefight

1. When they say the words “Well, I’m basically an infantryman.”

No, you’re not — but good job convincing yourself.

Unless your MOS starts or used to start with “11” (Army) or “03” (Marines), you’re not an infantryman.

Two Army infantrymen keep their eyes on a wadi in Andar, Afghanistan. The area is known as a Taliban stronghold and commonly receives small arms fire from the location.

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Keep Reading

Humor

9 stupid mistakes boots immediately regret

Tim Kirkpatrick

Posted On March 31, 2018 02:55:15

In life, making mistakes is inevitable — happens to everyone. While some screw-ups in the civilian sector aren’t considered a big deal, making them in the military can include a heavy punishment.

For many new service members, shedding that civilian mentality of “I can do whatever I want,” is a challenge — especially when you have to wait for permission to do something like go home for the day.

Too late now. (Images via Giphy)

Related: 7 military regs service members violate every day

So check out our list of stupid mistakes boots immediately regret during that special adjustment-to-active-duty period:

1. Talking back to a superior

Sometimes you feel the need to tell off someone higher ranking than you just to show your bros how tough you are. In many cases, the punishment given for that action can be worse than the crime committed.

Someone’s getting extra duty (Images via Giphy)

2. Marrying just for the benefits

Sure, the extra pay to buy beer for your friends sounds good now, but there are so many things that can go wrong right after saying the words, “I do.”

3. Sleeping with a grenade for your friend

We do a lot for our military brothers and sisters; this can include sleeping with someone’s friend as a personal favor.

This one is rarely a repeat mistake…

4. Over-sleeping and missing formation

It happens quite frequently, especially after a long night of drinking. I hope that sleep was worth it, because you’re gonna get reamed.

Being super cute won’t get you out of trouble every time. (Images via Giphy)

5. Getting caught with someone hiding in your trunk

After a set time, most military bases won’t allow people to enter the front gate without proper ID. So there’s only one way to sneak that special someone through security — stow them in the trunk.

Hopefully, your date will fit. (Images via Giphy)

6. Negligent discharge

Everybody wants to look cool while carrying a weapon around. But don’t be the one who accidentally fires the damn thing.

Keep your finger off the trigger until you’re prepared to fire. (Images via Giphy)

7. When you break something expensive because you don’t know how to work it

It happens, but now you either have to man up and face the situation or cover the mistake up somehow.

Yes, you did. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: 7 important life skills you learned in the military and didn’t even realize it

8. When you try and complete a stunt but…

…it turns out to be an epic fail.

Now you’ve damaged government property. Go get your Motrin and then get ready to fill out paperwork.

His take off was good, but he failed to stick the landing. (Images via Giphy)

9. Getting a DUI

Showing your boys you can drive drunk is a dumb way to show off.

At least he didn’t spill his beer. (Images via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Keep Reading

Humor

6 Christmas gift ideas for the Navy

Harold C. Hutchison

Posted On March 31, 2018 02:59:15

Christmas time is here and that means spending a lot of time on Amazon.com looking for the best gift ideas for your friends, family, and other loved ones. This year, the armed forces could use a few gifts that you can’t buy online. These are a few things the U.S. Navy would like to find under the tree this holiday season:

6. Two repaired destroyers

2017 saw the Arleigh Burke-class guided-missile destroyers USS Fitzgerald (DDG 62) and USS John S. McCain (DDG 56) damaged badly in collisions. While nothing can undo the tragic loss of the 17 sailors killed in the collisions, undoing the hundreds of millions of dollars’ worth of hull damage would make a nice gift.

5. More hulls in the water

As of today, the Navy has 279 deployable ships. This is the lowest total since 1916. While these ships are very capable, they are not capable of being in two places at once.

4. Beefed-up carrier air wings

Thirty years ago, the cutting-edge air wing was composed of 24 F-14 Tomcats, 24 F/A-18 Hornets, and 15 A-6 Intruders. Today, it’s 48 F/A-18C Hornets and F/A-18E/F Super Hornets. The Navy no longer has a carrier-borne, anti-submarine warfare aircraft – the S-3 Viking has been retired. A good replacement would be a second squadron of F-35C Lightnings per carrier.

3. More submarines

Russia is becoming a resurgent threat in the Arctic and the only warships that can be sent to counter it are nuclear-powered attack submarines. The United States currently commissions one or two Virginia-class submarines per year. Another sub or two per year would be a welcome Christmas present.

2. Real guided-missile frigates

The fact is, the Littoral Combat Ship is a nice pickup – for the Coast Guard. The Navy would have done a lot better to replace the Oliver Hazard Perry-class guided-missile frigates with something like Spain’s Alvaro de Bazan-class Aegis frigates.

1. No more buzzing

Russia, China, and Iran have all been buzzing Navy ships and aircraft this year. Some brand-new rules of engagement to discourage such dangerous stunts would look good under the tree.

Keep Reading