5 reasons why troops should never mention they're an artist - We Are The Mighty
Humor

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

Drawing is the creative pastime of choice for many. It’s something fun you can do almost anywhere to relieve stress — unless someone looks over your shoulder at your art collection and realizes you’ve got talent.


The moment you become known as that guy, your fun hobby will quickly be reduced to, “hey, guy! You’re pretty good at that art sh*t, huh? Come here.”

…and it’s all downhill from there.

1. You become the go-to guy for everything artistic.

Drawing is apparently a rare skill that no one bothered to keep at after they set down their coloring books.

If you’re identified as a skilled sketcher, that’s it — there’s no more looking for another talented guy in the unit.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
And you’ll be the guy everyone asks to draw their next tattoo. (Photo by Sgt. Edward Garibay)

2. You’ll work with senior enlisted and officers who don’t know what they want.

Draw a thing — but make it cool. Okay, great… but that wasn’t what they had in mind. You should make it less like that, but more… you know?

Confused? You should be. 90% of the time, when the first sergeant asks for something drawn, you’ll get the ambiguity above as feedback.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

3. Your talents will amount to logo design.

“Oh, you’ve got a keen eye for landscapes and geometry? Perfect! Draw a grim reaper with, like, two M-4s in his hands. Oh, cartooning is more your thing? Great! Add some fire behind his skull because we’re badasses.”

If you’re going to end up designing logos, you’ll want to make something unique and your own. After all, it’s going on every single company wall, t-shirt, challenge coin, sticker, letterhead, and so on. It’s a shame they really just want you to stencil over the other company’s logo…

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
And it’s never anything cool like a pin-up girl… (Courtesy Photo)

4. You’ll end up using your own supplies.

Need paint to redo the company logo? Here’s a bucket from supply. Not the right color or even the right paint for the job? Too bad.

The only way to make sure the job is done right is to spend your own money on stuff from that obscure art store off-base.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Just take a guess at how much a single, good marker costs… Now multiply that number by ten. (Photo by Staff Sgt. Pablo Piedra)

5. You’ll get blamed whenever anyone draws in the porta-johns.

You’re the only one who has artistic talent in the unit, so that makes you the immediate scapegoat whenever anyone draws a d*ck on the walls of the porta-john.

But seriously, if your skills are good enough that the Colonel dragged you into Brigade to redesign the challenge coin (which you won’t get, just sayin’) and you drew a penis on the wall, it would be the damn Mona Lisa of dong doodles. But no one will ever understand the pride you take in your art.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Except for Navy aviators. They understand. (Photo by a true American patriot)

*Bonus* On the bright side, it’s pretty good for skating.

“Motor pool? I apologize, but I can’t, Sergeant. The sergeant major has me tasked out at the Battalion building right now.”

…and then you swing by the gas station for energy drinks while you’re out buying another $70 pen.

Humor

6 of the least effective ‘training’ exercises that soldiers will love

Coming up with a training exercise that is engaging is required of every junior NCO on a weekly basis. If a leader trusts their Joes, this should be a time to reward his or her troops with something that is less useful and more enjoyable.

You can cut your troops some slack and tell the higher-ups that you’re focusing on team building and squad integrity through less intensive tasks if you re-title the exercises carefully. Hell, if it works for NCOER bullets, why can’t it work for training?


If all goes according to plan, the Joes should be out of there faster than first sergeant can say, “zonk.”

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

Translation: “Send them back to the barracks and have them clean until whenever.”

(Photo by Sgt. 1st Class Jason E. Epperson)

Proper cleaning of living spaces

“Hygiene is important to the health and wellbeing of the soldiers. They are tasked with ensuring their personal living accommodations are kept in good order to mitigate the risk of illness. They will continue until satisfactory.”

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

Translation: “Let them play video games.”

(Photo by Sgt. 1st Class Randall Pike)

Cost-effective combat simulations

“Combat readiness is a must. In the interim between field exercises and live-fire ranges, we must also test troops’ skills in a simulated battle zone. To do this, we will forgo any expenses from the unit’s budget and rely on the tools available.”

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

Translation: “Send them on a PX run.”

(Photo by Spc. Taryn Hagerman)

Procuring supplies in an urban environment

“Soldiers must always know how to gather necessary supplies in any location. This includes securing means of hydration, food, and whatever else may be mission-critical. An ability to come by these in a densely populated region is as vital as any other.”

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

Translation: “Have them just go on a computer and hope they do their SSD1.”

(Photo by Staff Sgt. James Kennedy Benjamin)

Discovering knowledge of the world around them

“We live in an ever-changing and interconnected world. To keep troops informed, each troop has their own means of communication. They are also encouraged to conduct correspondence courses while there.”

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

Translation: “Grab a bite to eat with your troops.”

(Photo by Maj. Ramona Bellard)

Proper dieting practices

“A sign of a true leader is knowing how their troops eat when not in the field. Keeping troops at peak performance is mission-critical and great dieting practices are a force multiplier.”

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

Translation: “Just send them home and hope they don’t do anything stupid along the way.”

(Photo by Staff Sgt. Mark Burrell)

Land navigation in a familiar setting

“Given two points that a troop is very familiar with, plot a point and execute a maneuver between the company area and the location of their barracks. Given that most transportation in-country is done via vehicles, it would behoove them to get to their destination with whatever vehicle necessary. Expedience is key.”

Humor

That time a US hacker hijacked North Korean propaganda to play ‘the Final Countdown’

A socially conscious hacker known as “The Jester” put one over on the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea recently. To add to his long list of hilarious practical jokes with a social-conscious message, the hacktivist hijacked a propaganda-laden North Korean shortwave radio station.


His request? “The Final Countdown” by the 80s one-hit-wonder Swedish rock band, Europe.

(EuropeVEVO | YouTube)

He announced the feat through his Twitter account. In the past, The Jester has taken on jihadist websites, notably ISIS. He even retaliated against the Russian Foreign Ministry for attacking American targets, defacing their website with the message:

Comrades! We interrupt regular scheduled Russian Foreign Affairs Website programming to bring you the following important message,” he wrote. “Knock it off. You may be able to push around nations around you, but this is America. Nobody is impressed.

While no one knows who he is, The Jester is a self-proclaimed patriot hacker, who thinks Anonymous is a bunch of “blowhards” whose work amounts to a “hill of beans.” Evidence in The Jester’s work makes people believe he is either a military veteran or former military contractor — he even leaves a calling card for his work: “Tango Down.”

Either way, he’s on our side.

 

The North Korean radio station hit by The Jester is used to broadcast coded messages and often used as a warning post for outside media before the regime does something provocative. It also re-broadcasts programming from the appropriately-named Pyongyang Broadcasting Station… aka “Pyongyang BS.”

Humor

6 unnecessary (but awesome) things you’ll find in the barracks

Life in the barracks blows. You’re crammed into as tight of a space as possible so your superiors can keep an eye on you. There’s always something going on so you never get sleep. And you often have to share a tiny room with someone.


But never underestimate the power of a bored private. If you can think of it, it’s probably going down in the barracks at this moment. While most of the shenanigans aren’t against any rules, they definitely make the lack of BAH worth it.

TVs as big as the wall

There are plenty of terrible purchases made by boots when they get their first paycheck. And it’s no different when the boot comes back from deployment with plenty of spending money.

The average barracks room is barely large enough to have a massive 90-inch widescreen 3D TV but that won’t stop most troops who just got back stateside.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

Technically, some do allow you to have fish or lizards. All depends on the specific command.

(Photo by Tech Sgt. Michael Holzworth)

Pets

The barracks is usually a pretty disgusting place as it is. The moment the NCOs leave, it goes back to the same filthy condition that it was in the day before.

Pets are already unclean creatures that require constant maintenance…but troops don’t care!

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

If you’re cool with them, they’ll share.

(Photo by Cpl. Bobby J. Yarbrough)

Nearly an entire kitchen

There’s always one person in every barracks that knows how to and will cook for everyone. Sometimes they’re not even an actual chef — doesn’t matter.

Being the barracks chef takes a lot more appliances than just a hot pad and coffee pot. These guys do it all in style.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

If they’re drinking in the barracks, it means they’re not driving back home. No DUIs! Everyone wins!

(Photo by Cpl. Jonah Lovy)

Enough alcohol to cause liver failure in a lesser man

There’s nothing wrong with someone over the age of 21 drinking alcohol on their time off, as long as they do it responsibly.

On average, a single barracks has more alcohol in it than any bar off-installation.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

And we all know how well that usually goes.

(U.S. Army Photo)

Firearms

It’s your god-given right as an American to keep and bear arms. Only problem is that many units have a “no firearms in the barracks” policy.

That’s not to say that troops living in the barracks can’t own firearms. They just need to store them in the arms room.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

Good luck not getting caught during a “random” inspection.

(Photo by Senior Airman Christian Thomas)

Unauthorized guests

The barracks room isn’t exactly prime real estate for a single person, let alone multiple troops living in a room similar to a studio sized apartment.

And yet, troops will occasionally keep a local they got a thing for in there with them.

Humor

Top 7 things veterans should never do at their new job

You’ve got your DD-214 in hand, you’ve taken off the uniform for the last time, and you’ve likely set fire to the road as you head off to a new life beyond service.


School is probably the most pressing thing on your radar but, eventually, you’re going back to work. You’ve been through some pretty gnarly stuff and you’ll be an incredible asset wherever you land. There are, however, some habits you may have picked up during your time in uniform that will not translate into the civilian workforce. Some of it is because, yes, “snowflakes” abound, but some of it just doesn’t quite fit in your new world.

Below are seven things you should never do at your new, post-service job.

Related: 7 of the top surprises veterans face going to school

7. Eat that leftover food in the fridge

Depending on what you did in service, this may not be a thing for you. If you were a shift worker, however, you know that leaving things in the fridge (marked or not) is a roll of the dice.

The bigger the fridge, the lower your odds. I, personally, hated that, but it is definitely a thing. Your new job likely won’t care that you thought Etta Mae’s meatloaf smelled too delicious to pass up.

Also, people do this kind of stuff:

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
No doubt in my mind, the response was written by the other veteran in the office. (Image via Reddit).

6. Be sarcastic

Yes, sarcasm is a tool. It is the release of the slow-burning rage that builds within the often misunderstood. It’s also a great way to be viewed as an asshole at your new gig.

Sure, in the military, when you’re outranked by someone much younger than you, you’re instinctually trained to react sarcastically. In the civilian world, that same kind of disconnect can be jarring for the already-adjusting veteran. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but even if your manager looks like a pimple-nosed teen, keep that sarcasm pent up.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Pictured: Veteran’s involuntary response when asked if they’ve ever shot a gun (Image from Hemdale Film Corporation’s Vampire’s Kiss).

5. Respond with aggression… to anything

Aggression is a great thing to have in a lot of military settings. Being aggressive and swift to act is what’s expected from pretty much the whole military.

At your new job? Not so much.

Sure, aggression is still useful and can get you through a lot of doors, but it can also rub a lot of people the wrong way. Try to dial it back a few levels whenever possible — and call it, ‘assertiveness.’

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
This is not the correct way to deal with the office dumb*ss. (Image from Universal Pictures’ Wanted).

4. Begin any email with, “per my last email”

We all know that whatever follows is intended to politely tell the recipient to go f*ck or unf*ck themselves. That’s probably not going to go over very well here.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
This is just the beginning of a line of pettiness that you should avoid. (Image by Reddit).

3. Initiate a “smoke session”

In the civilian world, this is literally abuse. It isn’t only a fireable offense, but depending on where you are and how they want to play it, you could end up having to talk to the other boys in blue. You’re definitely going to have a find a new way to motivate whatever subordinates you have.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
These days are definitely in your rearview mirror. (Image via Rally Point).

2. Tell any jokes you heard while serving

They just won’t get it. At all. They’ll laugh, uncomfortably, and then you’ll slowly stop receiving invites for post-work drinks from everyone but that other veteran in the office.

He’s more f*cked up than you.

Also read: 7 military things that somehow get you fired in the civilian world

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
He’s the only work friend you have left. (Image from 20th Century Fox’s Office Space).

1. Talk about the times you almost died

You don’t realize it, but you’ve got the 1000-yard stare going so hard when you try to paint the picture of your near-death experiences. It freaks the civilians out.

Save it for group — or drinks with that other veteran.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
We all have, Jack. (Image from Cartoon Networks’ Samurai Jack).

Humor

9 ways not to get treated like a complete boot in the infantry

We’ve all heard the term “boot” blurted out at one point or another during our military career. It means that guy who graduated boot camp, completed all their courses in their speciality school, and is now headed off to their very first unit.


In the naïve mind of a boot, the majority think they know everything, what with all that intense training and all.

Wrong!

The truth is, you probably don’t know your elbow from your a-hole, and you’re going to make plenty of dumb mistakes between now and forever.

Related: 7 things you should know before joining the infantry

So check out these tips on how not to be treated like a complete boot while serving in the infantry:

1. Don’t be the biggest smart ass ever

Grunts have some of the darkest humor around, but most times a smart ass boot hasn’t found his place in the squad and can go overboard with their personality real quick.

No one likes a smart ass. (Images via Giphy)

2. Don’t be the biggest “know it all” either

It’s an excellent trait to have a brain sitting in between your ears — just be mindful of when you correct someone in a position of power because you think they may be wrong. It’s all in the approach.

Think it through. (Images via Giphy)

3. Show up to formations on time

If you show up late, someone has to go looking for you, and you could be keeping your platoon from going home on a Friday afternoon. Don’t be that guy sitting in your barracks room playing COD.

Oh, look you’re only an hour late. (Images via Giphy)

4. Take on some extra responsibility

You don’t have to volunteer for everything, just something simple. Oh, and get it right the first time — then every time after that.

 A smart choice now can save you from a terrible voluntold assignment later. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: 6 newbie boots you wouldn’t want in your infantry squad

5. Kill it at the range

Grunts love to see their boots hit that target center mass with a well-placed round.

Nailed it! (Images via Giphy)

6. Pay attention to details

It’s the little details that matter. Write that down.

True story. (Images via Giphy)

7. Don’t get a D.U.I.

Don’t do it. Just don’t effing do it.

“I’m not that drunk.” (Images via Giphy)

8. Watch your spending

Don’t go spending all your money on a car with a high-interest rate. The financial creditors will contact your chain of command and dock your check if you fail to make your payments.

Enjoy it while it lasts. (Images via Giphy)

9. Have your uniform squared away

That is all.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Meet you future platoon Corpsman.

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Humor

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of Nov. 24

There’s a lot happening this week.


But everything is on hold til we all come out of our leftovers food coma.

In the mean time, let these military memes brighten up your Black Friday.

1. We aren’t above a little “sky dick.”

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
No one is.

2. The Navy proves it’s the master of multi-tasking.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
For the record, no one should be texting pics of their genitals.

3. Okay, last one. Promise. (via Decelerate Your Life)

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
The Army one actually kinda stings. I mean, maybe. I dunno, I was in the Air Force.

Read Now: 6 reasons the Air Force wants to buy Russian DNA

4. “What does Azimuth stand for again?” (via Pop Smoke)

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Are those regulation sunglasses, person who is clearly a Lieutenant?

5. I didn’t know the Navy wanted to go to a PX. (via People of the PX)

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Shiver me timbers.

6. Not all heroes wear capes. (via Why I’m Not Re-Enlisting)

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

Unrelated: Vietnam vet returns base library book after 52 years

7. The Air Force PT belt equivalent. (via Maintainer Nation)

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
All that protective gear weighs at least 50 pounds.

8. Remember when I said no more sky dick memes?

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
The lie detector says that was a lie.

9. “Too bad Spongebob isn’t here to enjoy Spongebob not being here.” (via Maintainer Humor)

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Squidward is the walking definition of swing shift.

Now: 7 more phrases old school veterans can’t stop saying — and we love it

10. “4 minutes to First Sergeant. Gotta see First Sergeant.”

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

11. No one does this much on leave for Thanksgiving. (via Why I’m Not Re-Enlisting)

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

12. Must go faster. Must go faster. (via Decelerate Your Life)

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Life found a way.

13. “POOF! Whaddya need?” (via Pop Smoke)

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
I never had a friend like my 214.

Read This: 6 memes that immortalize the now-grounded ‘sky dick’ aircrew

Humor

5 types of platoon sergeants you’ll face in the infantry

Platoon sergeants have to be jacks-of-all-trades to handle their many roles. They must balance the welfare of their troops and supervise training evolutions all while keeping up with the platoon’s administrative tasks — it’s a lot of work.


When you first enter the unit as a newbie boot, it’s rare that you’ll ever get to know much about your platoon sergeant outside of their name, rank, and how many countries they’ve deployed to. However, there are others who pride themselves on getting to know a few things about each one of their troops. Every platoon sergeant has their own style of leading that works best for them.

But, if you’re in the infantry, you’ll come in contact with at least five different types of platoon sergeants in a grunt unit.

Related: 11 things your platoon medic would never say

1. The tactical, hands-on one

Some platoon sergeants take a back seat to their other NCOs when it comes training their troops. Others want to spearhead the training and break everything down themselves, “Barney style” — which isn’t a bad thing.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

2. The organized pointer

This type of platoon sergeant has practically seen it all and done it all. He shows up prepared and ready to kick ass. They know what they need and how to get the job done.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

3. The one who wants to get in the fight

This motivated leader helps plan out missions and even lends a hand when they aren’t in battalion-level meetings.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Locked and loaded. (Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

4. The one who loves themselves some training

These are one of our favorite types. They’re the ones who will strap on a heavy pack and go on a ruck march to prove they can lead, and that they’ve still “got it.”

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
After a 12-mile hike, this platoon sergeant is still smiling — no big deal. (NCO Journal photo by Clifford Kyle Jones)

Also Read: 7 different types of MPs you’ll face at the gate

5. The seasoned badass

This is the type that when he speaks, everyone in the platoon listens like the words are spoken from scripture. He’s earned the right to be heard by everyone. Other up-and-coming grunts hope they’ll be like him someday.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Staff Sgt. Tom Painter, a section leader with Amphibious Assault Vehicle Platoon debriefs his Marines after conducting a field exercise. (Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

Articles

8 Pvt. Karl hijinks that will get you killed

There’s news out of Russia that two were people tragically were killed and another injured after a Russian S-200 anti-aircraft missile accidentally exploded at a recycling center that was sold there, almost certainly after being stolen.


And while we can’t prove this whole ridiculous and tragic event was thanks to Pvt. Karl of the Russian Federation, I mean, come on, it obviously was.

Alongside “selling armed missiles to civilian scrapyards,” here are eight other deadly shenanigans Karl will try to get his comrades wrapped up in as well as how any rational person should respond:

8. Setting up an illegal gambling ring with the Russian mafia

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
(Photo: PIRO4D, Creative Commons CC0)

Sure, games of chance are always rigged in the house’s favor, but setting up an underground franchise purchased from the Russian Mafia is a really good way of ending up underground, courtesy of the Russian Mafia, KARL!

7. Taunting paratroopers on their holiday

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
This guy got punched just for talking about paratroopers in Russia on their special day. (GIF: YouTube/Euronews (in English))

The Soviet airborne corps had an official holiday on August 2 every year, and the Russian Federation has seen fit to unofficially continue the tradition. But engaging with drunken paratroopers celebrating their own importance is a good way to get turned into a lawn dart, KARL! (As a TV reporter learned in 2017.)

6. Trying to distill liquor in a lead-lined still

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
No, Karl, I don’t think we should buyout this moonshine operation. I actually don’t think we should touch anything here, and I think we should wash our hands. (Photo: An-d, CC BY-SA 3.0)

Yup, bootlegging is a profitable business. But since no one here has metallurgy or distillery experience, and since lead poisoning will make you go blind, maybe we should stick to just buying vodka, KARL!

5. Selling your winter uniforms every summer

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
(Photo: Office of the President of Russia)

Winter coats are valuable and selling them is an easy way to get some quick cash. But since we’re enlisted soldiers in a country that stretches into the Arctic Circle, maybe we should hold onto them, KARL!

4. Selling weapons and food that “fell off the books” to preppers

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
(Photo: Russian Ministry of Defence)

So many people are preparing for the apocalypse, and old Soviet stockpiles are popular with them. The modern Russian stuff has to be even better, right? Sure, but getting into the international arms black market probably has some downsides, KARL!

3. Modifying your issued weapons for “enhanced lethality”

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
(Photo: Russian Ministry of Defence)

Maybe, maybe, maybe if anyone around here had armorer experience, this could be a good idea. But since you can’t even open a soda without cutting your hand open, packing more powder into the ammo casings or adjusting the mechanism for faster full-auto capability sounds like a good way for our boom sticks to actually go boom, KARL!

2. Going in halvsies for a Soviet-made car (only 25% interest!)

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
(Photo: Erdenebayar, Creative Commons CC0)

Seriously, Karl. This would be a bad deal for a decent, almost new, imported-from-Germany car. And since you can barely drive for more than five minutes after a bar or footlocker of liquor is opened, we could get the same result faster if we just doused you in gasoline and gave you a lighter, KARL!.

1. Hitting on the wife of that pro-military Russian oligarch who came on a morale tour

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
(Photo: Russian Ministry of Defence)

Yeah, she’s at least a 10. And yes, she’s way closer to our ages than she is to her husband’s. But that does not make this a good idea. She made her choice, and she chose a man who could kill the both of us in a courthouse while surrounded by police and never get arrested, KARL!

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of May 19

Another week down, another flurry of military memes from the comedy blizzard that is the internet.


Here are 13 of the funniest we found:

1. Huh. Didn’t know “Queen of the Bees” was a new MOS (via Pop smoke).

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
A couple of stings will remind you that you’re alive pretty quickly.

2. Guess someone is rucking home (via Team Non-Rec).

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
And that’s not how you carry a helmet.

ALSO SEE: 7 things you should know before joining the infantry

3. Sure, you’ll look fabulous until that first splash of hot coolant or grease (via Sh-t my LPO says).

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Oh, and you don’t look fabulous. You look like an idiot.

4. Pretty unfortunate fortune cookie (via Sh-t my LPO says).

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Especially if the cruise gets extended.

5. It’s a rough gig. Ages you fast (via Sh-t My Recruiter Said).

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Not sure how he lost that eye, though.

6. Seriously, every briefing can be done without Powerpoint (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
And if you choose to use Powerpoint, at least punch up the briefing with some anecdotes and keep the slide number low.

7. Think the platoon sergeant will notice? (via Team Non-Rec)

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Just keep your eyes forward and only the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th ranks will see it.

8. God, Romphims took over the military pretty fast (via Weapons of Meme Destruction)

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Photoshoppers must have been working overtime.

9. We’re all the same. Except for these as-holes (via Weapons of Meme Destruction).

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

10. It’s all fun and games until someone has to clean up (via Valhalla Wear).

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Did anyone else notice the uniform change in this meme? You’re Marines while you’re shooting, but you’re Army when you’re cleaning up.

11. Oh yeah? You completed selection and training but decided against the green beret? (via Decelerate Your Life)

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
You can’t refuse Special Forces until they offer you the tab, and no one turns it down right after earning it.

12. “Headhunter 6? Never heard of her.” (via The Salty Soldier)

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

13. You poor, stupid bastard (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
They’re all equally bad.

Humor

14 movies that made you want to join the military

Every so often Hollywood makes a military movie that’s so compelling in the eyes of the audience that it helps shape how they view the world. War stories in general display how dangerous life can be for those serving on active duty — mostly in the infantry.


But from time-to-time, some minor aspect of these films call out to movie-goers and motivate them to serve.

So we asked several veterans what movies made them want to join the armed forces and here’s what they told us.

Related: 7 awesome weapon arsenals in the movies

Here’s the breakdown:

1. Black Hawk Down

The brotherhood the men had with one another was outstanding. Leave no man behind.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Sgt. Eversman listens in on the radio. (Source: Colombia/Screenshot)

2. Full Metal Jacket

Maybe veterans became curious if they could make it through Marine boot camp after watching the film.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Gunny Hartman instructing his recruits. (Source: WB/Screenshot)

3. Mulan

She sacrificed herself for her father and her country.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
(Source: Buena Vista/ YouTube/ Screenshot)

4. Top Gun

Most men wanted to join the Navy and become fighter pilots after watching Maverick work his tactical magic.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Jesters dead! (Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

5. The Dirty Dozen

They were badass and didn’t take sh*t. Many veterans joined to have that image of being badass.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
They all look so freakin’ awesome. (Source: MGM/Screenshot)

6. Hunt for Red October

The film made being stationed on a sub look intense and exciting.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Captain Marko Ramius welcomes a boarding party from the USS Dallas aboard the Red October (Source: Paramount/YouTube/Screenshot)

7. A Few Good Men

The discipline the two Marines had on trial was outstanding.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
He wants the truth! (Source: /Screenshot)

8. Schindler’s List

The film showed terrible brutality, and many Americans joined the service to fight for those who can’t fight for themselves.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Oskar Schindler speaks with corrupt Nazi soldier Amon Goeth (Source: Universal/Screenshot)

9. Enemy at the Gates

In order to be the best, you have to go up against the best. Which is what Russian sniper Vasily Zaytsev had to do during the Battle of Stalingrad.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Source: Paramount)

10. The Delta Force

Chuck Norris made being an operator look even more freaking cool — if that’s even possible.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Chuck Norris always gets his man. (Source: Cannon /Screenshot)

11. We Were Soldiers

The film inspired countless people because of the bravery of the men and leadership of Lt. Col. Moore.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

12. Pvt. Benjamin

Many veterans watched the film as kids and respected her fight after no one believed in her — but her.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
(Source: WB/Screenshot)

13. Saving Private Ryan

Some saw the Rangers who searched for Pvt. Ryan as the ultimate team and showed a cohesive military unit with a normal leader.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Heading in to storm the beach. (Source: DreamWorks/Screenshot)

14. Deer Hunter

The filmed showed brotherly love. Many civilians respect that and want that in their lives.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Playing Russian roulette with a loaded revolver. (Source: /Screenshot)

What movies made you want to join the military? Comment below.

Articles

13 of the funniest military memes for the week of July 14

It’s a long week back after that July 4th hangover. And then some of us have to pick up the other guy’s slack when he goes off to drill.


Good thing military memes always have the watch.

1. We’re still the best. (via ASMDSS)

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Don’t worry, America is the best in any universe, no matter which spelling you see.

2. There are a lot of new ideas floating around DoD.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
The Air Force doesn’t like those kinds of shenanigans.

3. But some things never change.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
What happens on the bus stays on the bus.

Read Now: Here’s how aerial gunners were trained to fight their way past the Luftwaffe

4. The CS has been watching a lot of Food Network.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Midrats: It’s what’s for dinner. And lunch. Probably breakfast. From yesterday. Combined.

5. Because Navy PT standards might be taking a beating (via The Salty Sailor)

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
For use only with corpsman supervision.

6. Airmen have a special diet while away from their duty station.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
It’s just an excuse. We’d do it anyway. Wubba lubba dub dub.

7. Because special duties can be stressful.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
He got used to the taste of crayons after a while.

Also: Gene Hackman’s response on why he joined the Marines is TV gold

8. Even the Army has trouble helping out Marine Corps NCOs.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

9. But all NCOs run on the same operating system.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
Somewhere in there, paperwork gets done.

10. At least this weekend we can even look forward to Sunday night.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
We drink and we know things.

Check Out: 7 mysteriously missing body parts of military leaders

11. And maybe forget about that upcoming deployment.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
It’s adorable that you think the bucket list actually means something. Now get out.

12. The ghosts of cadence past can come back to haunt us.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
The little yellow bird is sick of your sh*t.

13. Who’s got the best callsign in the Air Force?

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist
His Follow Me Car is legendary.

Humor

7 different types of POGs you’ll meet on mainside

If it weren’t for every man and woman competently doing their jobs, our country’s military wouldn’t be as badass as it is today. However, the military is unofficially divided into two distinct sections: those who serve in the infantry (grunts) and people other than grunts (POGs).


Although everyone works hard at the same mission — eliminating the bad guys — their roles are distinctly different.

On most military bases, the infantry and the other guys are usually separated by distance or by commands. For instance, if you’re at Marine Corps Base, Camp Pendleton, the division side (infantry) is separated from the “mainside” (POGs and pilots) by a 25-minute drive down Basilone Road.

Once a grunt leaves the division side of the base, they’ll encounter Marines from another distinct culture on mainside. Sure, they’re “good-to-go,” but they’re not grunts.

Related: 6 of the most common infantry training injuries

1. The former infantryman

Infantry life is tough, and many grunts who proudly served decide their time is over and make a lateral move to a different job. It’s all good. Just be sure to take the knowledge you learned in the infantry and keep it to yourself.

We wouldn’t want anyone knowing our secrets.

2. The “buster”

There’s a guy or gal like this everywhere you go, to be honest. This person is looking to bust other service members for random reasons, like uniform issues or a lack of military bearing.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

3. The one who should have been a grunt

There’s always someone that you run into on the mainside who looks, talks, and walks like they should have earned the infantry MOS. Some say it’s because “the job wasn’t available during recruitment.” *cough* Sure, buddy.

Regardless, every hard charger who thinks they can handle the pressure of being a grunt should at least look into it.

4. The bodybuilder

Some military occupations have more time to go to the gym since they don’t spend five days a week eating MREs in the field — just sayin’.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist

Also Read: 6 different types of machine-gunners you’ll meet in the infantry

5. The NCO with three ribbons

In most branches, you have to do some incredible things to earn a ribbon. Some troops just don’t do enough to earn a few rows.

6. The storytellers

You’ll find them talking about combat-related events while they were deployed on a ship that they never left — or a large FOB where they couldn’t see the outside world from behind Hesco barriers.

5 reasons why troops should never mention they’re an artist