7 ways you know you're an officer - We Are The Mighty
Military Life

7 ways you know you’re an officer

Look. We all had a choice to make when we signed up for the military: we could defend freedom and democracy in high-pressure missions with global ramifications using elite skillsets… or we could be officers.


I’m joking, except… not really.

In a loose summary, officers are there to lead units and oversee the (enlisted) personnel that execute the mission. There are, of course, many careers fields that require officers to get their hands dirty, but overall, the officer force is trained to ensure the mission is complete and the enlisted force is trained to get the work done.

Related: How to not be a dirtbag officer

As a result, there are a few ways that officers are set apart from the rest of the military (and I’m not just talking about the bachelor’s degree required for commissioning):

1. You’re kind of a snob

I commissioned through Air Force ROTC at a liberal arts university in Southern California, so the only officers who are even bigger snobs than I were Ivy League graduates, and that’s saying something. I spent four years being taught to lead men and women toward a noble purpose. I was set up for success and given tests that I passed with aplomb and then I was praised spectacularly, increasing my confidence and morale to holy levels.

7 ways you know you’re an officer
You probably don’t even know what ‘aplomb’ means.

Then I went to MEPS and I saw a glimpse of what enlisted endure throughout their training. Holy sh*t, you guys. I’m sorry that happened to you.

But you were trained to follow orders. We were trained to give them.

2. You drink liquor or craft beer

I mean, we had enough disposable income to afford the good stuff, so why wouldn’t we? You can keep your PBR and hangover — I’ll be over here sipping whatever the mixologist alchemized during happy hour.

7 ways you know you’re an officer
Pretty normal night at the O-club.

3. You know what “crud” is

I don’t care what you heathens do at your barracks parties or whatever. Crud is for dignified folk and it’s effing fun and you’ll never change my mind about that.

I’m willing to acknowledge that playing with hot pilots may have influenced my opinion about this matter.

7 ways you know you’re an officer
Is anyone else equal parts mesmerized and aroused?

Anyway, crud is a sophisticated game involving the corner pockets of the pool table and a lot of body-checking. The details are complicated — but trust me, they’re worth it.

4. You know all your enlisted people’s darkest secrets

The trick is to not let your chain of command know them. Now go be a good little sh*t shield.

7 ways you know you’re an officer
Your DUI? I know about it.

5. Everyone stops laughing and talking when you approach

It’s lonely at the top, and, as we’ve established, you’re a snob and probably also a nerd, and there are fewer of your kind, so, yeah, they’re all talking about you. But if you’ve done your job right, they’re doing it in a good-natured way?

7 ways you know you’re an officer
Whatever you gotta tell yourself to get through the day, Captain.

6. You utilize an exorbitant passel of buzzwords

Phrases like “force multiplier” and “interoperability” belong in your powerpoint presentation for the 2-star. Stop using them around your friends, or you won’t have anyone left to love.

7 ways you know you’re an officer
Actually I like this one. I’m gonna start using it.

7. When you’re the first to arrive and the last to leave but still accused of doing nothing

When I signed up for the military, I did it because I wanted to kick down doors and be a super hero. I had no idea that’s not what the Air Force an officer does. Then on active duty I found out that I basically put in four years of training to become a souped-up babysitter responsible for a sh*t ton of paperwork who everyone makes fun of in perpetuity.

Also read: Officers and enlistees confess the best and worst about each other

But here’s the thing: someone had to do that job. I did my best to make my troops’ lives easier, to take care of them, and to empower them so they could carry out critical missions.

It meant long hours, a lot of powerpoint presentations, and, just, so much paperwork.

The military is a machine and we’re all parts that keep the machine running.

7 ways you know you’re an officer
I can write EPRs in my sleep, b****.

MIGHTY HISTORY

This plane carried out the mission that inspired the ‘Star Wars’ trench run

In 1977, Star Wars took the country — and the world — by storm. One of its most iconic scenes was the trench run, during which X-Wing and Y-Wing fighters defy the odds to put proton torpedoes down a thermal exhaust port, running a gauntlet of Imperial fighters and gun emplacements to do so. Well, that scene wasn’t exactly original.

That’s right, folks. George Lucas lifted that scene from a 1954 movie, The Dam Busters — and if you’ve seen them both, it’s painfully obvious. Some dialogue from the classic film was lifted nearly word-for-word and put directly into Star Wars.


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But the 1954 film that Lucas cribbed from portrayed an actual mission flown by real bombers.

That bomber was the Avro Lancaster. The Lancaster was RAF Bomber Command’s primary bomber in the latter part of World War II. The Lancaster entered service in 1942, had a crew of seven, packed a total of eight .303-caliber machine guns for self-defense, and could haul a lot of bombs — up to 22,000 pounds of high-explosive candygrams. These included special bombs, including the anti-dam bomb developed by Barnes Wallis, and earthquake bombs.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

An Avro Lancaster during the filming of ‘The Dam Busters’

(Photo by RuthAS)

Outside of the 1943 “Dam Busters” mission that inspired the 1954 film that later inspired George Lucas, the Lancaster takes credit for sinking the German Bismarck-class battleship Tirpitz and for hitting a number of heavy fortifications. But it wasn’t all gloom and doom — the plane was also used to drop food to civilians in German-occupied territory.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

22,000 pounds of fun on its way to the Nazis.

(Imperial War Museum)

The Avro Lancaster had a top speed of 275 miles per hour and a maximum range of 2,529 miles. Almost 7,400 of these planes were produced. They saw action over Nazi Germany but, in 1948, the Lancaster also took part in the Berlin Airlift, turning back Josef Stalin’s effort to get the Western Allies to abandon West Berlin.

Learn more about this British bombing workhorse in the video below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1n7i9edQiM

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MIGHTY TACTICAL

The new Leatherman multi-tool at SHOT Show is KILLER

Leatherman’s new magnetic architecture is changing the game for multi-tools. Sure, they’ve had one-handed technology for a few years now, but it’s insane how easy it is to access everything in the tool with just one hand.

And their new P4 model is accessible for left- or right-hand dominate use.


NEW Leatherman MultiTools | SHOT Show 2019

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Watch: Blade HQ checks out the Leatherman booth

“What makes these tools really special is how you don’t have to use your fingernails to access anything,” said Jeremy, the rep at the Leatherman booth at SHOT Show 2019. This year they are releasing six of best multi-tools they’ve ever had — which is saying something. Leatherman has been the lead in multi-tool technology for 25 years.

They’re calling it their new FREE line, and if you can’t get your hands on one yet, check out the video above to see how effortlessly each implement is accessed. They’ve got new locks, non-metallic springs, and magnet technology that, according to Blade HQ, “just changed the game bigtime, buddy.”

Also read: Our 7 most favorite issued items ever

“FREE is absolutely the future of multipurpose. It’s something totally different.”

In April, the FREE line will be available, and in June their new T-series pocket tools will launch. They’ll run on the same magnetic architecture but will be very light weight.

Check out the video above for some very satisfying tool porn (pun intended, I guess — it just felt inevitable).

MIGHTY MOVIES

New combat medic show ’68 Whiskey’ might be playing too safe

Ron Howard and Brian Grazer have teamed up to create 68 Whiskey, a new series about combat medics in Afghanistan, premiering on Jan. 15, 2020. In a hopeful twist, it’s going to be a comedic drama, which is what serving in the military actually feels like.

It’s Ron Howard, the man who gave us Willow, so I don’t think we’re going to see gallows humor, but the scale of the production looks cinematic.

Here’s the first look:


Here’s your first look at 68 Whiskey, a new series from Executive Producers @RealRonHoward and @BrianGrazer, premiering Jan 15 on @paramountnet. #68WhiskeyTVpic.twitter.com/LMyhuYpiwi

twitter.com

Behind the Scenes

Roberto Benabib (Weeds, The Brink), the Emmy-nominated series writer and showrunner, designed 68 Whiskey to be an “honest and realistic look” at deployed troops. It’s hopeful that there is a military consultant on-board. Greg Bishop, a retired U.S. Army Lt. Colonel, served for 21 years before joining Musa Entertainment as a military consultant.

“We’re always striving for authenticity and the set design of the show — interiors and exteriors — are just fantastic,” he said in the first look featurette.

Related: 3 major reasons you should hire vets in Hollywood

It does look visually great but I can’t help but wonder how many veterans were involved in the writing process. I know firsthand how challenging it is to navigate the line between authenticity and entertainment, but it can be frustrating when Hollywood gets it wrong.

Check out the first official trailer right here and let us know what you think:

’68 Whiskey’ Official Trailer | Paramount Network

www.youtube.com

7 ways you know you’re an officer
MIGHTY TACTICAL

This armored vehicle sports an anti-aircraft cannon

The M113 armored personnel carrier is one of the most versatile — and long-lasting — armored vehicles in the American inventory. The Army has just now, after 50 years of service, begun the process of replacing the M113 with the Armored Multi-Purpose Vehicle. Even then, the M113 will stick around in some capacity — over 80,000 have been produced.


One particularly notable variant of this APC is the M163. This is an M113 refitted with a turret-mounted M61 Vulcan 20mm Gatling gun. In one sense, this was a simple approach – the Army took the M61 Vulcan that has been a mainstay on fighters like the F-105 Thunderchief, F-104 Starfighter, and the F-4 Phantom and simply attached it to the M113. This gun proved to be quite a MiG-killer in air-to-air combat, and the assumption was it would be effective from the ground, too.

7 ways you know you’re an officer
A close look at the heart of the M163: The M61 Gatling gun, which was a proven MiG-killer in air-to-air combat. (US Army photo)

The M163 saw some combat trials during the Vietnam War, but the radar systems weren’t quite ready to take on targets in the sky. Like the M45 “Meat Chopper,” however, the M163 proved that ground targets were no problem for this anti-aircraft vehicle, especially when it carried over 2,000 rounds of ammo for the gun. The M163 soon found itself exported to South Korea, Thailand, Israel, and a number of other countries.

The M163 eventually received upgrades, giving it a better radar and making things simpler for the gunner. It also got more powerful rounds for the M61 gun. Yet, in American service, the M163 would be more known for its use as a ground-support asset. However, the Israelis did score three kills with the vehicle, one of them a MiG-21, during the 1982 Lebanon War.

7 ways you know you’re an officer
A M163 at Fort Bliss during the Cold War. Like the M45, it proved to be an awesome ground-support weapon. (US Army photo)

After Desert Storm, the Army retired the M163, replacing it and the M72 Chaparral with the 1-2 combination of the M1097 Avenger and the M6 Bradley Linebacker air-defense vehicle.

Learn more about this adapted M113 in the video below.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENsVvYgMh6s
MIGHTY TACTICAL

4 US weapons that have been declared illegal by enemies

The U.S. has a legitimate claim as one of the more honorable warfighting nations on Earth. Sure, we get involved in a lot more wars than some others, but we also follow lots of rules about how to fight them and have even pushed for greater regulation of war and prevention of conflict from the League of Nations to the U.N. and dozens of treaties besides. But, oddly enough, we still use a few weapons that other nations have banned, like these four:


7 ways you know you’re an officer

A B-1B Lancer drops cluster munitions during a test.

(U.S. Air Force)

Cluster munitions

Cluster munitions are weapons with a lot more weapons inside of them, usually bombs, rockets, or artillery shells filled with bomblets. They’re super effective, allowing a single bomb drop to disperse hundreds of what are essentially grenades. Each one releases shrapnel and shreds light vehicles, aircraft, and personnel.

But many of those grenades fail to detonate when dropped, meaning that dozens or even hundreds of pieces of unexploded ordnance can be left behind. These have an unfortunate tendency to explode when civilians stumble across them, so most countries banned them by ratifying the 2008 Convention on Cluster Munitions. America has not ratified that treaty and, in 2017, relaxed rules that limited the ability of the Department of Defense to buy cluster munitions.

But the military is trying to find new weapons that wouldn’t violate the treaty but would be effective.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

A Marine Corps gunnery sergeant shows how to load the M1014 shotgun.

(U.S. Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Daniel A. Wulz)

Shotguns

Yeah, it may sound crazy, but Germany tried to argue in World War I that shotguns were an illegal weapon. Don’t worry; you’re not a war criminal. Everyone else in the world agreed that Germany, who had rolled out chemical weapons during the same war, was full of crap.

But yes, America’s enemy Germany tried to get the shotgun banned on the basis that they were unnecessarily painful, but the U.S. used them to quickly clear German trenches. America had a suspicion that Germany was declaring them illegal because they were effective, not because they were cruel. So we just kept using them and won the war.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

U.S. Airman 1st Class Samuel Garr practices attacking an enemy with pepper spray in his eyes.

(U.S. Air Force Airman Nicole Sikorski)

Pepper spray and similar non-lethal gasses

Yeah, this one is actually illegal. Like, right now, it’s illegal to take pepper spray into combat and use it. America, of course, has plenty of pepper spray and other non-lethal weapons, but the military and police can only use it on their own citizens.

These weapons are illegal under Article I.5 of the Chemical Weapons Convention. Rifle fire is fine. Pepper spray is not. Yeah, it’s a weird rule.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

U.S. Army Reserve engineers conduct mine clearance during training in 2014.

(U.S. Army Sgt. 1st Class Michael Sauret)

Landmines

Like cluster munitions, landmines are one of the weapons that were declared illegal for good reason (unlike shotguns and pepper spray because, I mean, come on). The Mine Ban Treaty of 1997 has 164 countries as members, over 80 percent of the world. But the U.S. is not a signatory.

But the U.S. does enforce its own limitations on mine use. While Claymore mines are used around the world, most of America’s mine stockpiles are restricted. America has actually banned the use of most mines everywhere except the Korean Peninsula, the place where the U.S. and its ally hold a 150-mile barrier against an angry communist regime with artillery and infantry positioned just 20 miles from Seoul, South Korea’s capital.

Weird that the U.S. wants to keep all of its options on the table for that fight. Weird.

MIGHTY HISTORY

This is the American who left to claim the throne of Afghanistan

The first American to visit Afghanistan decided he was going to take the wild land by force. That’s just what Americans did back then, I suppose. The young man was born into a privileged life for the time, and lived a life of globetrotting adventure as a young man. When the love of his life decided to marry another man, Josiah Harlan decided to make his world a little more interesting.


7 ways you know you’re an officer

But so were the Afghan rulers and warlords.

Having grown up learning Greek and Latin and reading medical books and journals for fun, Harlan decided to join the British East India Company’s expedition to Burma as a surgeon, even though he had never attended medical school. But he didn’t stay for all of the company’s wars. He left the company in 1826 to live in an Indian border town called Ludhiana. That’s where he met Shuja Shah Abdali Durrani, the deposed ruler of Afghanistan that would shape Josiah Harlan’s future.

The two men hatched a plan to oust the leader who deposed the Shah, Dost Mohammed Khan using a coalition of Sikh, Hindu, and Muslim fighters, then foment a full-scale rebellion in Afghanistan. Once the Shah was back on the throne, he would make Harlan his vizier. Things did not go according to plan. Khan defeated Shah at Kandahar and was forced to flee once more.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

Dost Mohammed Khan can sleep soundly knowing the British got what was coming to them.

Harlan next fell in with Maharajah Ranjeet Singh, a great warrior king who had conquered most of what is today Northwest India and Pakistan. Singh, it turns out, knew how to party unlike anyone since the good ol’ days of insane Roman emperors. He was also a hypochondriac, one that “Doctor” Josiah Harlan could treat. Harlan did treat the Maharajah, earning his trust and the governorship of Nurpur, Jasota, and later, Gujerat. But he eventually fell out of Singh’s favor and turned to Dost Mohammed Khan – the man he tried to usurp in the first place.

Acting as a special military advisor to Khan, Harlan took to the battlefield against armies allied to the Maharajah, having taught the Afghans the “Western way of war,” which basically meant using numerical superiority to your supreme advantage. With Khan, he was made royalty and led armies against the Sikhs in India, against Uzbek slavers, and even led punitive expeditions in the Hindu Kush. But upon returning from those raids, he found Khan was deposed, and the British occupied Kabul and had replaced Khan with ol’ Shuja Shah.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

The Maharajah’s life was so great it gave him Forest Whitaker Eye before that was even a thing.

Even though Harlan was the Commander-In-Chief among all Afghans by Khan’s decree, Khan was out and Shah was in. All the tribes and their warlords were now allied with Shah – that was just the Afghan way. Khan already fled, so it was time for Harlan to return to America and to his life in Pennsylvania.

Unsurprisingly, Pennsylvania had a marked lack of exotic spices, royal orgies, and international intrigue, so Harlan found himself trying to drum up American support to challenge Russia and Britain for supremacy in Afghanistan. America, however, had enough problems back home around the time the man returned in 1841, and there was little interest in it. Josiah Harlan moved to San Francisco where he spent the rest of his days practicing medicine.

Articles

21 of the US military’s most-overused clichés

There are certain phrases military service members hear on the regular, and by regular, we mean they are over-used like crazy.


While every workplace has its own cliche buzzwords — we’re talking about you there, “corporate synergy” — the military has plenty to choose from. The WATM team put its collective heads together and came up with this list of the cliche phrases we’ve heard way too many times in the military.

1. “All this and a paycheck too!”

Usually uttered by a staff NCO at the moment of a 20-mile hike where you wish you could just pass out on the side of the road.

2. “If you’re on time, you’re late.”

Military members are well aware of the unwritten rule of arriving 15 minutes prior to the time they are supposed to be somewhere. Of course, if there’s a senior officer involved, that might even mean 15 minutes prior to 15 minutes prior.

3. “We get more done before 6 a.m. than most people do all day.”

The time can always be changed, but the phrase remains the same. Military members across the world are usually waking up way earlier than most, and as the saying goes, it probably means they have done personal hygiene, conducted an insane workout, ate breakfast, and started training before average Joe hit the snooze button on the alarm clock.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

4. “Don’t call me sir. I work for a living.”

Among the enlisted ranks, it’s a common cliche that officers don’t do any real work. “There’s a reason why they have office in their name” is a popular saying. So when an enlisted service-member is incorrectly addressed as “sir,” this is one of the most popular responses.

5. “If it ain’t raining, we ain’t training.”

No matter what the weather, the U.S. military is guaranteed to be training or conducting some sort of exercise. But this cliche phrase is guaranteed to come out when a torrential downpour hits your unit.

6. “This ain’t my first rodeo there, cowboy.”

Let’s not ask the sergeant any stupid questions. He knows what he’s doing, because he’s done this a million times before. Cowboy.

7. “Best job in the world!”

Calling your particular field in the military “the best job in the world” usually happens during the times when you would never think it’s the best time in the world. These times include freezing cold on patrol in Afghanistan, running out of water while training in Thailand, and/or not showering for a month-and-a-half.

8. “Complacency kills.”

You’ll find this phrase spray-painted to every other Hesco barrier on the forward operating base, on a sign outside the chow hall, and on the lips of every sergeant major in a half-mile radius. Troops need to stay alert while they are out in combat, and this one gets drilled into the dirt.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

9. “Keep your head on a swivel.”

This one is similar to “complacency kills” but is often said to troops about to go into dangerous situations. Before heading out on patrol, a squad leader might tell his troops to “keep their head on swivel,” meaning: keep alert and look everywhere for potential threats.

10. “Got any saved rounds?” or “Any alibis?”

At the end of a briefing, you’ll usually hear either of these phrases. “Any questions?” just doesn’t pack the same punch as using terminology straight off the rifle range.

11. “Another glorious day in the Corps!”

It could be the Corps, the Army, the Navy, or the Air Force, but it’s always a glorious day there, according to whoever utters this phrase. This is meant to motivate but it’s usually met with eye-rolls.

12. “This is just for your SA.”

This is another way of saying FYI, but with a military spin. SA, or situational awareness, is all about being aware of what’s happening around you, so this is often said by a subordinate to a leader so they know what’s going on.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

13. “We’re putting on another dog and pony show.”

We’ve never actually been to a real dog and pony show, but we have put on plenty of them in the military. A military “dog and pony show” is usually some sort of ceremony or traditional event for troops to show off their weaponry and other stuff. For example, Marines may put one on by standing around and answering questions about their machine-guns, rocket launchers, and other gear for civilians who are visiting the base for an event.

14. “Roger that.”

This is a phrase that should be uttered only over the radio (it’s actually just “roger, over” and “roger, out,” respectively), but troops often say this instead of saying “I understand.”

15. “Bravo Zulu.”

Bravo Zulu is a naval signal that can be conveyed via flag or over the radio, and it means “well done.” But plenty of troops will use this as a way of saying good job or congratulations.

16. “Like a monkey f–king a football.”

A favorite of NCOs and staff NCOs, this comes out when junior troops have screwed something up pretty bad. As you can probably guess, a football is not a good object for a monkey’s sexual relations.

17. “Let’s pop smoke.”

Smoke grenades are used for signaling and/or screening movements. When under fire, troops may want to pop smoke so the enemy can’t really see where they are headed. On the flip side, troops at a lame bar may want to “pop smoke” and go somewhere else.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

18. “Let’s break it down, Barney style.”

Barney the dinosaur loves you, and some military members like to invoke his name to explain things. When a task is complicated, a leader may explain it “Barney style,” or so simply that a child could understand it.

19. “Look at this soup sandwich.”

This refers to someone who has usually screwed up the wear of their uniform in some way.

20. “Ok, gents, we need to be heads down on this.”

A favorite of WATM’s own ex-naval aviator Ward, this is actually a twofer. First, the use of “gents” (oh Lord please make it stop), and then referring to working hard as heads down. Apparently we’ll be more productive as long as our heads are not up or to the side.

21. “You are lost in the sauce.”

This will often be said of someone who has no idea what the hell is going on. In order to rectify, a leader will probably break things down “Barney Style.”

Got any to add to the list? Leave a comment.

NOW: 11 Vets with some of the coolest jobs in Hollywood

MIGHTY TRENDING

Why the Air Force rejected Boeing’s KC-46 Pegasus delivery – again

The United States Air Force has once again rejected taking delivery of new Boeing KC-46 Pegasus tanker jets after discovering foreign object debris (FOD) left inside the aircraft by Boeing workers. This is the second time the USAF has stopped accepting deliveries of new KC-46s this year for the same exact reason, Reuters reported.

The Air Force initially halted deliveries of the Boeing 767 airliner-based tanker planes for two weeks in early March 2019. At the time, assistant secretary of the Air Force for Acquisition, Will Roper, told reporters that debris such as tools was left in parts of the plane that could be a potential safety hazard, Defense News reported.

According to Reuters, the Air Force decided to halt deliveries again on March 23, 2019.


“The Air Force again halted acceptance of new KC-46 tanker aircraft as we continue to work with Boeing to ensure that every aircraft delivered meets the highest quality and safety standards,” a USAF spokesperson told the Air Force Times in an emailed statement. “This week our inspectors identified additional foreign object debris and areas where Boeing did not meet quality standards.”

7 ways you know you’re an officer

A KC-46 Pegasus flies over the flightline of the 97th Air Mobility Wing.

(U.S. Air Force photo by Airman 1st Class Jeremy Wentworth)

“Resolving this issue is a company and program priority — Boeing is committed to delivering FOD-free aircraft to the Air Force,” Boeing told Business Insider in a statement. “Although we’ve made improvements to date, we can do better.”

“We are currently conducting additional company and customer inspections of the jets and have implemented preventative action plans,” the Boeing statement went on to say. “We have also incorporated additional training, more rigorous clean-as-you-go practices and FOD awareness days across the company to stress the importance and urgency of this issue. Safety and quality are our highest priority.”

Boeing commenced deliveries of the KC-46 tanker in January 2019. The plane was originally slated for delivery to the Air Force in 2017. However, development delays pushed the plane’s entry into service back.

The KC-46 is expected to replace the USAF’s aging fleet of Boeing 707-based KC-135 tankers.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

MIGHTY FIT

Do this every morning to relieve back pain

There are a lot of reasons for back pain. Many of them are real, and nearly all of them are 100% treatable without a doctor.

What I’m giving you here is the exact protocol you need to be doing in order to relieve your low back pain once and for all.

Whether it’s your disc, your muscles, your tendons, your actual spine, or some combination of them all, there is still plenty you can do to treat your pain yourself.


This is about taking control and responsibility of your body. You’re a Grown Ass Human who shouldn’t be dependent on someone else to treat your issues.

I’m gonna give you exactly what you need in 5 simple steps that you can do every morning with nothing but your body weight and those little eye crusties still hanging out on the corner of your ocular cavity.

“Low Back” Pain Morning Routine | 30 DAYS TO PAIN FREE

youtu.be

Step 1: Awareness: Move your pelvis

How are you living in your pelvis?

Are you anteriorly tilted?

Are you posteriorly tilted?

Are you neutral?

Are you already confused?

When you walk around, you have a tendency to ‘hang out’ in one of these positions.

If you’re overly anteriorly tilted, your pelvis is “facing forward.” This usually means you have weak glutes, weak abs, and tight hip flexors.

If you’re posteriorly tilted, your pelvis is “facing backward” or level (slight forward/anterior tilt is considered normal). This can mean that you have tight glutes, tight abs, kyphotic posture (a rounded upper back), or all three. I’ll get into kyphosis in another article. For now, this article on posture should satisfy your kyphotic curiosity.

BUT, for most people, these words mean nothing. Maybe you’re one of those people. That’s what this first ‘exercise’ is all about: building awareness between your mind and your hips.

It’s especially easy because you can just crawl out of your bed on your hands and knees and never have to actually stand up. This is a great bonus for those of you who are especially lazy in the morning.

A cat/cow sequence is how we are going to achieve that awareness. Check out the video for exactly how to flow through cat/cow.

Perform the sequence for 1-2 minutes or until you feel aware, and your hips are “awake” daily.

How to Fix “Low Back” Pain (INSTANTLY!)

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Step 2: Pain relief: The JC low back sequence

JC is a savior for many of us in the fitness industry. I’m talking about Jeff Cavalier over at Athlean X, of course. He has consistently put out amazing high-quality fitness information for years now. He is one of the few Fitness Youtubers that is truly above reproach. I aspire to be like him.

Down to low back pain business…

JC has provided us with an exercise that is going to provide you with some immediate relief. By starting each morning with the JC Low Back Relief Sequence (JCLBRS for you military nerds that love acronyms), you’re going to get pain free and gain more awareness.

Specifically awareness of how to use your glute medius, which is the weak glute causing your low back to take the brunt of your weight and in turn, causing pain.

Check out the full video above of me walking you through it and the video attached to this section to see JC walk you through it a second time.

Perform the sequence one time on each side daily. The sequence includes a set of 5-10 reps and then the burnout hold.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

Strong glutes useful in: force production, fighting, the bedroom, and pain relief

(https://www.grapplearts.com/develop-powerful-bridge-bjj/)

Step 3: Butt strength: Bridges

Time to take that newfound glute, hip, and low back awareness and apply it to some movement.

Elevated bridges are the perfect way to do just that. You’re going to be teaching your glute medius how to operate under a horizontal load (like what happens when you walk, run, or hike). You’re also going to learn to properly concentrically contract your spinal erectors, without hyper extending them. Lastly, you’re going to train how to posteriorly tilt your pelvis to get a maximum contraction in your posterior chain.

That’s a lot for one exercise.

Perform 2-3 sets of 10-20 reps daily.

Here’s some more on how to train your low back in a smart and safe manner.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

Flutter Kicks rely heavily on engagement from the hip flexors. AVOID them and other exercises like crunches and sit-ups if you have tight hip flexors and/or low back pain.

(U.S. Air Force photo by Machiko Arita)

Step 4; Core strength: Side plank

Time to work your abs. Why? Because that’s how you attract a mate. Everyone knows that core definition is the singular way that most people choose a life partner, so of course, we need to do them every morning.

The real trick here is to choose an exercise that’s great for your core stability and building a shredded six-pack without working your already overactive hip flexors and potentially neutralizing the effect of the previous three steps. So don’t do the crunches from your PT test.

You’re going to do that with the side plank. But a real side plank, not that shit I see checked-out field grade officers doing during PT (looks like they’re just hanging out waiting for retirement.)

Watch the video for exact form cues. You’re going to:

  • keep your hips stacked,
  • keep your abs actively flexed by shortening the distance between your lowest rib and the top of your hips, this will also keep your spine in a neutral position
  • Keep your hips neutral/slightly posteriorly tilted by keeping your glutes engaged.
  • BONUS: abduct your top leg AKA lift your leg for additional core stress and some more glute medius work.

Perform 1-2 sets of 75% effort on both sides each morning. This is about training proper movement and muscular engagement, by staying at the 75% effort threshold you won’t push so hard that your form breaks down and potentially makes your low back issues worse.)

7 ways you know you’re an officer

(Courtesy photo by the Indian Army)

Step 5: Spinal decompression: Hanging out

Time for some relief. Hang from your pull up bar or a door frame and decompress your spine.

This is something you should do whenever you have a chance. We spend all day with gravity compressing our spine together. Your low back ends up taking most of that pressure. By decompressing at the end, you are taking an opportunity to “reset” your spine each day into the proper posture and form that you just spent the last 5 minutes training.

Perform this for 1-2 sets of a max hold. (You’ll get some bonus grip strength work here as well.)

Here are some more great ways to relieve physical stress that you carry around all day.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

You need to train in what you want to be good at… that includes not being in pain.

(U.S. Air Force photo by Senior Airman Nathaniel Stout)

When the results roll in.

You’ll start to feel relief almost immediately, but it’s going to take some time for all your pain to dissipate. That’s why this routine should be part of your life for the rest of your life. Consistency is key here.

We use our bodies every day, so we also need to treat/correct our bodies every day. That’s all this is.

If you want to feel something you’ve never felt before (like pain relief), you need to do something you’ve never done before.

Send me a message anytime to let me know how this morning routine is working to help relieve your low back pain at michael@composurefitness.com.

Don’t forget to join the Mighty Fit FB Group to surround yourself around like-minded people who also want to get strong, lean, and pain-free.
7 ways you know you’re an officer

More at www.composurefitness.com

7 ways you know you’re an officer
MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

4 life-saving tips for traveling with young kids

Hitting the road with young kids can seem like a daunting task — especially when the destination is hours away. But with some planning and smart preparations, you can make the trip much easier on all involved, and yes, that includes you!


Whether you’re headed home to visit family or are packing up and getting ready for your next PCS, follow these proven tactics to keep the kids happy and occupied throughout the entire journey.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

Pack smarter, not harder

Whether you’re driving, flying, or a combination of the two, you can make travel sessions easier by packing smart. Keep an extra outfit or two within easy reach (especially for littles). The same goes for toiletries (if you’re planning an overnight on the road), and any items you’ll need in a pinch. If you’re doing an overnight en route, pack a “hotel bag” and keep the giant suitcases in the car.

Baby wipes are a necessity for travelers of any age, and blankets, drinks, and medications always come in handy for comfortable travel sessions.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

media.defense.gov

Bring more snacks than you think you need

Bottles, juice, pre-packaged snacks — pile them on in. (Liquids are allowed for babies and toddlers on planes, just be prepared to have it tested.) Trust us, traveling kids can eat. It might be more out of boredom than actual hunger, but whatever works, right? If snacking keeps them occupied, it’s best to have more on hand than you’ll need.

If you prefer healthy options, just plan ahead so you can have all of their favorites within quick reach.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

Leave on their schedule, not yours

If kids will sleep on the road, it’s best to bite the bullet and leave as early as possible. Sure, it’s not ideal for mom and dad, but think about the possibility of having complete control of the radio and zero complaining from the back seat. (We’re hearing angels sing!)

If they’ll sleep, create an environment in which they’ll actually sleep!

When planning around naps, you might have to wait until later in the day to get on the move. This isn’t always great for making good time, but it can help make for some happier travelers (parents included). While older kids will be a wild card — who knows if they’ll sleep, let alone when, younger kiddos can be encouraged to rest on the move. Consider kids’ schedules and look to leave around their sleep times for easier transitions.
7 ways you know you’re an officer

Make a list of activities

Depending on your kids’ ages, create a list of activities and compile them into a single bin (ideally that they can get to easily). Sure this can contain a phone or tablet, but battery life only lasts so long. (Plus consider the negative effects it can have on their moods when used long term while traveling.)

Gather tiny board games, toys, homemade activities that help them learn while keeping them busy. Art projects are great, too. (Bonus if it’s water-based markers or something like a magnet board so there’s no mess.) Meanwhile, you can host participation games like I Spy or other road trip classics.

Help plan a smooth trip for all involved with a little planning ahead. And with any luck, full bellies and distracted kids will help make the trip a breeze.

MIGHTY MOVIES

‘The Mandalorian’ episode 7 recap: Things get dark

The penultimate episode of season one brings us Chapter 7: The Reckoning, wherein director Deborah Chow returns — and brings along some familiar faces.

Here’s your spoiler warning:


7 ways you know you’re an officer

Yeah girl.

The Mandalorian, Disney+

Our Mandalorian-of-honor receives a transmission from Greef Carga, who has a proposition that is clearly a trap. Navarro is now overrun with Imperial troopers and Carga wants them off his back, so he’s willing to team up with Mando to kill The Client.

Our Mandalorian seems to decide that this is the best deal he can get so he decides to take Carga up on his deal — but not without reinforcement. He returns to Sorgan to recruit Cara Dune, who’s brawling for credits in a bar (fun to see Gina Carano showing off some of her moves).

To my surprise, they leave Omera behind (I’m still waiting to find out why she’s such a good marksman) and head off to Arvala-7 to grab Kuiil instead.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

RIP.

The Mandalorian, Disney+

Here we learn that the Ugnaught has spent the time since we last saw him repairing and reprogramming IG-11. For some reason that hasn’t yet paid off, this episode spends a lot of time on the montage of IG-11’s journey back to functioning droid. I feel like I got the gist the first time Kuiil said he reprogrammed the killing out of IG-11?

Kuill finally agrees to accompany Mando but insists on bringing IG-11 and three blurrg with him.

(Side note: I basically just ignore space and time in Star Wars otherwise I’ll get too distracted wondering how those blurrg fit in the ship? And how much time has actually passed? It only feels like a few days or weeks but I guess it’s longer?)

7 ways you know you’re an officer

Silly billy! No Force-choking friends without their consent!

The Mandalorian, Disney+

During their flight back to Navarro, Mando and Cara arm-wrestle. Seeing this, the Yoda Baby misinterprets Cara’s actions as an attack against Mando so he decides to Force-choke her.

“That’s not cool!” Haha but it is hilarious. Little baby Force-choke! That’s impressive!

What’s most interesting is the reaction — no one in the ship talks about the Force after the incident. Kuiil is theoretically old enough to remember the time of the Jedi Order (he mentions to Cara that he’s lived three human lifespans), but none of the group seem to know firsthand about the Force.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

Beware the intelligent adversary.

The Mandalorian, Disney+

On Navarro, the group meets up with Carga and his back-up. They decide to walk until sundown, camp for the night, then head into the city at first light. Unfortunately, they are attacked by some sort of pack of flying dragons or mynocks or wyverns. The creatures carry off two blurrgs (which was deeply unsettling — why do the innocents always have to die?) and rake Carga’s arm with poisonous claws.

Here we get to learn a pretty fun new fact about the Force — it can be used for healing. The Yoda Baby walks up to Carga, places his tiny little hand on Carga’s wounded arm, and closes the wound and eliminates the poison. Cool!

Carga thought so, too, because the next day he shoots his men and confesses that they were just going to turn on Mando. Now Carga is committed to saving the baby and killing The Client.

He suggests there will only be about four Stormtroopers guarding The Client and not to worry…

Only now, Kuiil will take the baby back to the Razor Crest and they’ll pull the ol’ fake-prisoner bit, bringing in Mando in handcuffs, and just pretend the baby is in the carrier.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

Insert a “we’ve got company” quote here.

The Mandalorian, Disney+

Of course, the plan goes awry. Though The Client apparently believes the baby is “sleeping,” his boss doesn’t. Moff Gideon (played by Breaking Bad’s Giancarlo Esposito) calls via hologram right before ordering an attack on everyone in the room. He shows up in a fancy TIE fighter to join his Death Troopers and trap Mando and Cara behind enemy lines.

Mando then decides to, for some reason, communicate with Kuiil over comms that are easily intercepted by Scout Troopers, who take off to capture Kuiil.

A very stressful race begins, with Kuiil and the Yoda Baby on a fleeing blurrg, racing toward the ship while the Scout Troopers speed off toward them. (I mean, how did the Scout Troopers know which way to go? Why didn’t Mando use clean comms — or at least some code?? Questions for another day…)

Honestly, I was waiting for IG-11 to burst out of the ship and save the day…but instead we cut abruptly to the Yoda Baby on the ground, scooped up by a Scout Trooper, leaving the dead blurrg and Kuiil in their wake.

With that, we’re left on an Empire-like cliffhanger waiting for the finale on Dec. 27.

You’ve heard of Elf On The Shelf but are you ready forpic.twitter.com/0dyFHkbkCR

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Happy Holidays, everyone.

MIGHTY TRENDING

This vet honors her grandfather’s legacy with his secret sauce recipe

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, right? Well, in the case of Charlynda Scales, when life gives you a secret sauce recipe, you make sauce and build a company.

While serving in the Air Force, Charlynda’s grandfather invented a sauce that he’d use on every meal, but he never got to see it bottled and sold in stores. To honor her grandfather’s legacy, Charlynda built a business using his secret recipe — and she’s helping a lot of people in the process.


7 ways you know you’re an officer

Above, Charlynda Scales in her Air Force dress blues.

(Charlynda Scales)

Born in 1981 in Cookeville, Tennessee, Charlynda lived with her family in a small home in the countryside. Her family ignited her passion for serving others and propelled her into pursuing a higher education. She holds a degree in Aerospace Science and Business Management from Clemson University, along with an MBA in Strategic Leadership. You could say that her family is the beacon that guided her down the path to the eventual creation of Mutt’s Sauce, LLC.

Charlynda joined the Air Force in 2004 as a 63A, Program Manager. She obtained the rank of Captain and switched over to the Reserves in 2015, presently still serving as an Individual Mobilization Augmentee. When she got out of active duty, she focused on growing her business.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

Charlynda’s grandfather is on the label of every bottle of Mutt’s Sauce.

(Mutt’s Sauce, LLC)

Mutt’s Sauce was born out of the memory of Charlynda’s grandfather, Charlie “Mutt” Ferrell, Jr. who was also an Air Force veteran that served in Vietnam and the Korean War as a crew chief. Charlie earned the name “Mutt” because of his ability to fit in anywhere he went. Considering that Mutt’s Sauce has been dubbed “the sauce for every meal,” it’s safe to say Charlie’s reputation lives on as part of the company.

To the surprise of Charlynda, after her grandfather’s passing, she was the one in her family entrusted with the knowledge of the secret recipe. Her mother revealed the recipe to her in 2013, and Charlynda was inspired to bottle it and share his legacy with the world.

7 ways you know you’re an officer

Charlynda Scales poses with Bob Evan’s after winning the 2017 Heroes to CEOs Contest.

(Bob Evans Farms)

Mutt’s Sauce has already started to carve out a name for itself by winning the Bob Evan’s Farms’ 2017 Heroes to CEOs Contest. Not only has Scales successfully bottled her Grandfather’s secret recipe, but she has memorialized his values of serving others and continues to propel forward in the business world.

In addition to building Mutt’s Sauce, LLC, from the ground up, Charlynda has also been featured on inMadameNoire.com, CBS News, Black Enterprise Magazine, Military.com, Army.mil, and Air Force Association Magazine. If that isn’t impressive enough, she was 2nd runner up for Ms. Veteran America 2016. With such a list of accomplishments, we can expect even greater things from her in the future.

To check out more about Mutt’s Sauce, LLC, or to buy a bottle visit, www.muttssauce.com.