6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked - We Are The Mighty
Humor

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked

In the military, we’re notorious for having a really dark sense of humor. We laugh at crazy sh*t ranging from getting shot at to being awoken by having hot sauce poured into our wide-open mouths.


We told you it was dark.

We also think it’s funny when professional comedians attempt to spoof us and our unique culture. Veterans are a tough crowd to please, but we typically forgive comedy sketches that try to portray what it’s like serving.

Let’s face it, we never expect any civilian comedian to get it right, but it’s funny as hell to watch them try.

Related: 6 of the best Navy recruiting commercials ranked

So, check out six of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked.

6. “The retired military specialist” — Key & Peele

Just when you think you’re out, the military attempts to pull you back in.

Well, that’s what one military specialist (Peele) thought when he’s unexpectedly approached by an Army General (Key). However, the general is there just to ask for a simple recommendation for another operative. When the military specialist learns of that fact, the real comedy begins.

(Comedy Central | YouTube)

5. “The sensitive drill sergeant” — SNL

A drill sergeant (Ferrell) with a sensitive side orders his troops to give him advice about his love life and relationships.

(Saturday Night Live | YouTube)

4. “The worst catfish ever” — College Humor

When troops deploy, they leave their spouses and loved ones behind. When you’re thousands of miles from home, it’s not uncommon for service members to claim to have long distance relationships to look cool in front of their peers.

College Humor nails this military sketch as one man poses as two different girls and catfishes two separate service members just to learn they’ve both fallen in combat.

(College Humor | YouTube)

3. Awesome Hitler Story — Key & Peele

The comedy duo does it again as they portray World War II soldiers hearing a story about one of history’s worst humans.

(Comedy Central | YouTube)

2. “My father is my colonel” — SNL

As tough as military training can be, imagine being in a command where your father is in charge — and all you want is to look cool in front of your boys.

(Saturday Night Live, YouTube)

Also Read: US Army recruitment campaigns, ranked from worst to best

1. “Would rather be elsewhere” — Monty Python

We’re not setting this clip up. Just watch it and you’ll see why we put it number one.

(Movieclips | YouTube)
Humor

5 reasons why Pennywise would make the best recruiter ever

If you’ve ever spoken to a recruiter, you know that they tend to say impressive things to get young men and women interested in joining their branch of service.


Many people call recruiters “used car salesmen,” but in all fairness, they’re just trying to make a living and fill their quotas. Experienced recruiters have unique ways of conveying information to make everything sound positive and exciting — it’s a freakin’ gift.

Related: 11 things your platoon medic would never say

But, we think fictional character “Pennywise the Dancing Clown” from Stephen King’s It could take the crown as the best recruiter if he wanted to. Here’s why:

5. He makes some insane recruiting videos

If he can use video to kill someone through a kids’ show, he can get you to enlist.

Enlist today! Enlist today! Enlist today! (Image via GIPHY)

4. Pennywise can pop up at virtually any location

Just when you think you’ve gotten away from him, the f*cker crawls out of the refrigerator!

Oh, he’s good. (Image via GIPHY)

3. You can find his picture in any history book he wants.

You’ll find him when you’re flipping through one of your American history textbooks. Talk about subliminal advertising.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
He’s been around for a while… (Image from New Line Cinema’s It)

2. He can lead you to his office with a simple red balloon

Recruiters bust their asses trying to get young teens into their office just to pitch the idea of joining their branch. Once they’ve gotten your attention, they have no problem of secretly leading you off to their office.

Plus, they might have candy.

Follow the pretty balloon and enlist. (Image via GIPHY)

Also Read: 6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

1. He makes amazing promises

Recruiters are notorious for making military life seem freakin’ awesome and leave out certain terms, like “working parties.” Pennywise makes traveling through nasty sewers seem like the cool thing to do.

Let’s face it, Pennywise did say he has popcorn — and we like popcorn!

 

(Movieclips Trailers | YouTube) 

This is all in good humor. We love our recruiters.

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of Aug. 25th

Admit it. Which one of you knuckle-dragging, crayon-eating, ASVAB waivers looked at the sun on Monday? Good luck trying to get the VA to cover that…


Hopefully these memes are a reward for everyone else with common f*cking sense.

#13: “But, Sarge. I look at the moon all the time and never go blind!”

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
(Meme via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting)

#12: This explains why they’re either Salty but wise, Salty but command respect, or just plain Salty.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
(Meme via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting)

#11: It’s the same story every time and the punchline is almost always that you got smoked.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
(Meme via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting)

#10: When your car has no airbags but you’ve got a POV inspection

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
(Meme via US Army WTF Moments)

#9: Who let the LT survey the TOC build area?

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
(Meme via US Army WTF Moments)

#8: You want 5.56? She doesn’t want 5.56… 7.62 AND 5.56? No..

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
(Meme via Terminal Lance)

#7: I’d still take this over an “egg and cheese omelette” any day.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
(Meme via Sh*t My LPO Says)

#6: No one will take care of you like your buddies!

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

#5: “Yeah, sure dude. I got you” only goes so far when you’ve given them six already.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
(Meme via Army as F*ck)

#4: Retention would probably sky rocket if they told people their alcohol tolerance will drop significantly when they ETS.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
(Meme via Army as F*ck)

#3: No need to rush for a promotion. Enjoy your time in the E-4 Mafia.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
(Meme via Air Force amn/nco/snco)

#2: “But Sarge, I need to be ready. The eclipse could come out at any moment!”

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
(Meme via Air Force amn/nco/snco)

#1: “Existence is pain to a lower enlisted!”

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
(Made by yours truly)

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of May 5

Memes call! Find your favorites, share them with your buddies, or don’t. We’re not your supervisor.


1. A training video on “Abdominal Circumference” may actually help some units (via Air Force Memes Humor).

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
And Troy McClure videos would be a huge upgrade from all these Powerpoints.

2. Being outside a firefight without your rifle is worse than being in a firefight with it (Weapons of Meme Destruction).

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Feels like death, and might be worse.

3. Allow the E4 to teach you a little about the military (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Starting with: Never go back to the unit right away.

4. Back blast area clear!

(via Team Non-Rec)

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Gonna be hard to explain this to the homeowner’s association the next morning.

5. It’s always embarrassing to remember that next generation’s history books will include this generation’s actions (via Decelerate Your Life).

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
At least you can write some of the histories ahead of time.

6. Will pay to see “You’re Welcome” parody with Coast Guard swimmers (via Coast Guard Memes).

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
The Coast Guard used this exact same pun two years ago while talking about teaching rescue swimmers to swim.

7. Senior enlisted problems:

(via Terminal Lance)

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Decisions, decisions. Sorry, junior Marines.

8. Some NCO better fix that little guy’s gig line (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Can’t tell if the label in the top right corner is from the past or future …

9. Last guy to switch from BDUs is definitely the first guy to crack a beer (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Love the shades.

10. Your recruiter lied to you (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Better volunteer for some cool-guy schools and get into some high-speed units.

11. Kinda hard to take the new guy on a welcome-to-the-unit bender if someone has to make him a fake ID first (via Military World).

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Highly recommend ordering the apple juice so at least no one else in the bar can tell.

12. It’s all about composite risk management (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Dirt raking is dangerous.

13. Remember all those grinning, proud faces when all the boots got their new uniforms?

(via Decelerate Your Life)

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Of course, those uniforms get pretty salty before the end of the contract.

Humor

11 hilarious Navy memes that are freaking spot on

In the military, we love to crack jokes at every branch’s expense — even our own. The comedic rivalry is real as it gets, but it’s always in good fun.


So, let’s use these memes to create as many humorous wounds as possible.

Related: 11 memes that perfectly capture life as a commo guy

1. When your level of saltiness is off the f*cking charts

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
We bet he’s got stories for days.

2. Old-school sailors have the best freaking stories about fist fights, drinking, and women — not necessarily in that order.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked

3. Just when you thought Navy ships couldn’t get any more hardcore, they go and do this.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
If you think this is impressive, wait until you see what gun they fire on Sunday.

4. The level of his “boot” has officially gone overboard.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
$10 says he’ll get out after his first enlistment.

Also Read: 11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

5. This is what your recruiter conveniently left out of their pitch

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
You can’t win a war without a clean weatherdeck.

6. Every sailor’s career has a different origin story

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
At this rate, he’ll be a Rear Admiral (Upper Half) in no time.

7. You might want to head the restroom afterward and check your trousers for brown eggs

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Boot stress level: over 9000. (via navymemes.com)

8. The only thing that a hardworking sailor wants is to get off work on time and drink a beer.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked

More: 11 Air Force memes that will make you laugh for hours

9. You can piss off a lot of people without repercussions, but a chief is not one of them.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Hide for as long as you can.

10. Lies, lies, and more lies… Okay, it’s kind of true.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Experiences may vary.

11. No one can ever outdo this dick joke. This aircrew won.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
(Image via Pop smoke)

Articles

This is why every British armored vehicle has tea-making gear

Tea has been an essential element of British culture for centuries, so it makes total sense that the British feature a tea kettle in the designs for their armored vehicles.


6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Americans are still on the fence about tea. Old grudges die hard.

Since developing the 1950s-era Centurion Tank, UK-designed armored vehicles have featured a boiling-cooking apparatus, nominally designed for tea.

Also Read: The Centurion Tank was tough enough to survive an atomic blast

The reason for this nod to British tradition is actually much more pragmatic than just making teatime. Tommy tankers fighting in WWII France would leave their armored vehicles to brew tea by the side of the road.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
And trust me. That takes some time. (Author’s photo)

It might be a little hard to make a proper thrust through the enemy-held hedgerows when most of your tankers stop to have a spot of proper British tea by the roadside at certain times of day. Not to mention the fact that the area was full of Nazis, bent on throwing English tankers back in their Channel.

This all came to a head on D-Day+6, when the British 22d Armored Brigade stopped outside Caen for morning tea, all the time being eyed by four hastily-assembled German Tigers.

War Is Boring’s pathos-filled account describes the tea party that ended with the British losing 14 tanks, nine half-tracks, four gun carriers and two anti-tank guns in 15 minutes.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked

A study done after the war found that 37 percent of all armor unit casualties occurred when the crew member was outside of the vehicle.

They won’t make that mistake again. The water boiler and ration heater in modern British tanks is a pretty nifty innovation. It guarantees access to hot food and water and keeps troops safely inside their armor.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Unfortunately, they still have to eat British food, like the boiled pizza featured here.

A good idea, is a good idea, is a good idea — and the boiling vessel is a good idea. Whatever keeps tank crews inside their tanks is probably for the best.

Articles

6 myths civilians believe about Marines

Since Nov. 10th, 1775, the Marine Corps’ rich history of kicking ass and taking names has charmed Americans and earned their respect all across the United States. Because of that, civilians see Marines in a different perspective than the Navy, Air Force, or even Army.


Since every branch of the military has a particular image that the general population associates them with, we asked several civilians, “What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about the Marines?”

Related: 5 military myths that Hollywood has taught us to believe are true

Here’s what they said:

1. They have to be super patriotic to join

Most of them are, but others just couldn’t see themselves serving in another branch.

Now I’m joining the Corps! (Images via Giphy)

2. All Marines have to go war and fight

Not true. The Marines Corps is made of several different elements other than the infantry, like aircraft maintenance, logistics, and duties that cause your Marine to sit in an office and analyze intel all day — so breathe easy, momma bear.

Dammit, Carl! (Images via Giphy)

3. They’re all excellent shots with a rifle

Most are, but a low number of recruits score just high enough to earn the “rifle marksman” medal, a.k.a. the “pizza box.” All Marines must rifle qual before they can graduate from basic training, but it takes extra training and skill to earn higher levels of marksmanship.

Ask a Marine to explain this joke. (Images via Giphy)

4. They’re buff and strong

Most are pretty jacked, but many are just normal size — they make it up by having tons of heart.

Oh, Master Sergeant! (Images via Giphy)

5. They are mean and scary as hell

Marines can get pretty intense, but that just shows their passion. While a Marine can get super scary (especially when they gain rank or come in contact with people they just don’t like), some get by with just a quiet intensity.

But most of the time they’re fun loving. (Images via Giphy)

6. They’re brainwashed in boot camp

Negative, Ghost Rider.

They are just influenced to love their country and branch of service at an exceptionally high level through various mental and physical activities.

They have to be, to carry out the missions they’re are asked to do.

Sometimes this involves screaming while brushing their teeth — which may happen. (Images via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Humor

6 crazy things MPs have found during vehicle inspections

Anyone who drives up to a military base’s front gates trying to gain access can expect some kind of inspection. The process can be as simple as getting your ID checked, but other times you’ll be instructed to drive into the vehicle examination lane, where MPs, or military police, bust out the undercarriage mirror and drug-sniffing dogs.


Most people don’t care because they have nothing to hide, but on some occasions, MPs make some interesting discoveries.

Related: 9 examples of the military’s dark humor

We asked a few our of MP friends about the craziest things they’ve found during their vehicle inspections. Here’s what they said:

6. Male-enhancement pumps

We’re told this is the most embarrassing one to be caught with… Strangely, nobody ever claims ownership.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked

5. Steroids

Yup. Those are illegal no matter how much they improve your bench press. Unsurprisingly, this product is commonly found among servicemembers who carry the infantry MOS.

4. Marijuana

Even if the plant is legal in your state, it’s still illegal on military bases. The amounts vary from a few grams to several ounces. Often, the substance is hidden in shoe boxes and gas tanks.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
This smuggler decided to hide their stash in a shoe box. (Photo from Wikipedia Commons)

3. Inflated blow-up dolls

Nope! You’re not getting a visual, but you can use your brilliant imagination… failing that, there’s always Google.

2. Ninja weapons

You never know when you need to fight evil forces.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked

Also Read: 6 crazy things actually found in boot camp amnesty boxes

1. Urine bottles

Some servicemembers have to work as duty drivers, and they log several hours in government vehicles. They, too, are subject to inspections. If the servicemember is under time constraints and making a pit stop isn’t on the schedule, an empty bottle of Gatorade works just as well.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Maybe it’s Gatorade?

Humor

10 epic weapons fails you’ll have to see to believe

Shooting a weapon for the first time is an experience you’ll never forget. Squeezing off those first epic rounds can make any gun owner smile from ear-to-ear.


On the flipside, many gun owners have no freakin’ clue how to hold the weapon, chamber a round and accurately fire it at a target without getting hurt.

It’s not that hard, and safety is key. But for some reason lots of people just don’t get it.

There are several safety rules put in place for a reason, but countless people throughout the globe treat their weapons as if they were toys — and many end up having accidents in the process.

Related: 17 images that show why going to the armory sucks

So check out these epic weapon fails from people who hopefully learned a lesson.

1. Trying out the elephant gun. Take #1

Remember, keep that buttstock pressed HARD to the shoulder, or this will happen.

This is what happens when the rifle weights more than the shooter. (Images via Giphy)

2. The single-handed, teenage rifle slinger

This teenager needs to use 2-points of positive control and build some muscle.

He meant to do that. (Images via Giphy)

3. Trying out the elephant gun. Take #2

Maybe put it on a bipod and go prone bro.

People never seem to learn. (Images via Giphy)

4. Quickdraw McGraw over here just shot himself.

Even the seasoned pros make mistakes, but g*ddamn this is bad. Remember, finger off the trigger until your sights are on target.

This is why we can’t have nice things. (Images via Giphy)

5. He’s so good, he shot his own cover right off his head.

This would have been a cool trick if it were a magic trick. Rule #1 and #3: treat all guns as if they’re loaded and never let the muzzle cover anything you aren’t willing to destroy (unless he really, really didn’t like that hat).

Worst weapons inspection ever. (Images via Giphy)

6.Trying out the elephant gun. Take #3

I guess he won the “who could fire this big ass rifle contest?”

At least this guy held on this time. (Images via Giphy)

7. What happens when someone gets super high and attempts to operate a heavy machine gun.

Where were these guys at when my unit was deployed?

How long have we been at war with these guys again? (Images via Giphy)

8.This is proof that ghosts can and will shoot you if you’re not being careful.

His Uncle Tanner just got his payback from beyond the grave.

We bet he bought a gun rack as soon as he was released from the hospital. (Images via Giphy)

9. The shirtless gangster.

We’re going to leave this alone.

That’s what we call “gangsta.” Thug life b*tches. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: 6 reasons why troops hate going to supply

10. The exploding revolver.

Who here thought it was going to be a ricochet?

Maybe let’s not load the .44 in the .357 next time? (Images via Giphy)

Humor

5 reasons why the AT-AT from Star Wars would be terrible in the real world

The Star Wars franchise is all about placing fantastical elements within in a sci-fi setting. In order to truly enjoy the films, you have to suspend your disbelief a little bit — otherwise it’ll look a lot like cosmic samurai fighting a faceless evil empire across a galaxy filled with people who magically speak the same language and function just fine without a space suit wherever they end up.


Putting a bit more thought into it, the Imperial Stormtroopers seem to get the short end of the stick nearly every single time. With the soon-to-be-released Solo: A Star Wars Story on the horizon, it’s fun to remember why they probably wouldn’t make the most intimidating enemy — especially not with highly-overused AT-AT walkers.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
But they probably sold a lot of toys, so anyu00a0argument against them is void.
(Photo by Tim Moreillon)

To all seven of you out there who haven’t seen Star Wars, the AT-AT is a gigantic, robotic troop transport used by the antagonists that’s sort-of a futuristic callback to Hannibal’s elephants. They’re fairly intimidating in the films until you realize just how dumb of a design they really are.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked

At least they acknowledged that painting its weak spot bright orange was an objectively bad idea.

(Lucasfilm)

Its weaknesses are extremely obvious

The most glaring mistake of the AT-AT is that they’re so easy to destroy. In The Empire Strikes Back, our heroes turn the tide during a battle on the icy planet of Hoth when they decide to trip the lumbering armor. Really? Why did it take some rural moisture farmer to make that mental breakthrough?

Not only that, but Luke Skywalker also destroyed one by throwing a single grenade, which, somehow, blows up the head. They’re even more easily destroyed in Rogue One, when a single rocket to the walker’s “neck” is enough to take it down.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked

This is about the field of fire of an AT-AT. Avoid this and you’re fine.

(LucasArts)

Its only weapons are front-facing

If you’re facing the front of an AT-AT, you’re probably screwed. If you’re literally anywhere outside of its 30-degree field of facing, you’re completely safe.

Without any kind of air support, like what happened to them in The Empire Strikes Back, the opportunity to flank them is wide open. If you’re thinking that it could just turn around, that brings us to our next point.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked

This is it TRYING to turn.

(LucasArts Ltd.)

It can barely turn

To be fair, the AT-AT can turn a little bit in Episode V and some of the obscure novels (which are no longer canon) say that they have an additional joint under the plating to help it turn. But, even if we’re generous, they can turn maybe fifteen degrees with each slow, lumbering step.

This is happens in a time when, according to the logic that has been established by the franchise, intergalactic travel and troop transport is done with spaceships. But, instead of carrying troops via something that fly, they chose something that can barely change course.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked

It can’t really leave this small clearing so, for any reason other than creating drama, this makes no sense.

(Lucasfilm Ltd.)

It wouldn’t be able to maneuver anywhere

Let’s bring things back to the real world for a moment and discuss why tank treads work in almost every environment while horses don’t: Legs get caught in things. They get tangled in snares and sink into sand, snow, and mud. Tank treads, conversely, just roll through it all.

Now magnify that four-legged beast to the size of an AT-AT. All of those same problems still exist, but now you can cross cities and forests off that list, too.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked

Poor little AT-AT… At least you tried.

(Lucasfilm Ltd.)

It’s a terrible design for a troop transport

Let’s bring it back to the fact that they rely on what are essentially robot camels when they have countless other options at their disposal. A spaceship can warp in and push out every Stormtrooper in a blink of an eye. The AT-AT, on the other hand, needs to bend down, load troops into the vehicle, carry them all somewhere, bend back down, and, finally, unload them.

All of that just to get some troops forward in an easily destructible, undefended deathtrap that can barely get around. Sure, they’re intimidating, but don’t you have Death Stars and Star Destroyers for that?

Articles

17 images that perfectly show the misery of returning your gear

Over the past few days, you’ve been collecting exit signatures for your check-out sheet, and low and behold, you’re almost home. The process has been relatively straightforward up until this point.


The last item you need to get signed off is from the Central Issue Facility, or supply, where you need to check in all of your gear. Supply is one of the last stops a service member makes before obtaining their official DD-214.

Sounds easy enough, right?

Wrong. If one aspect of your gear is not check-in ready, integrating back into civilian population will be delayed.

Related: 17 images that show why going to the armory sucks

So check out our list of what it typically takes to check in your gear and move on with your life.

(This is based on many true stories)

1. What it looks like when you’re on your way to the central issue on a Friday afternoon.

Oh, come on. (Images via Giphy)

2.When you walk inside and all you see are other troops waiting in a long a** line.

There’s too many to count. (Images via Giphy)

3. To add insult to injury, everyone who works there looks slow and grumpy.

Why do I hate life? (Images via Giphy)

4. After waiting what felt like an eternity, you finally haul your heavy gear over to the counter and begin the checkout process.

So heavy. (Images via Giphy)

5. You make it to the counter, and just as your morale has been boosted, you realized you’re at the slowest worker’s section.

Please, hurry the f*ck up! (Images via Giphy)

6. The clerk starts to review all your gear, pulling everything out piece-by-piece — most of which you never used.

And we mean most things. (Images via Giphy)

7. After completing the inventory, the clerk finds an issue with your almost squared away paperwork. All of your gear is clean enough to pass, but there’s a missing signature.

No way freakin’ way. (Images via Giphy)

8. Your superior officer’s signature is missing for an expensive piece of gear which got destroyed while you were deployed. The clerk informs you that you can either pay for it yourself or get the signature before you can get out of the military.

You can’t believe what you’re hearing.

I ain’t paying for sh*t. (Images via Giphy)

9. You speed back to your company HQ to find your CO.

Pedal to the metal. (Images via Giphy)

10. You dash into the HQ in search of the man or woman who can set you free.

Where are they? (Images via Giphy)

11. You find your superior, he or she signs the paperwork and then your emotions take over.

This may be wrong but it feels right. (Images via Giphy)

12. Now that you got your signature, it’s time to head back to central issue.

Almost to the finish line. (Images via Giphy)

13. You get back the central issue building and attempt to eyeball the person who helped you earlier to avoid waiting in line again.

Look at me. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: 33 images that perfectly portray your first 96-hour liberty

15. It worked. The clerk spots you and waves you over. You hand her the signed paperwork, she looks it over and now you wait.

The anticipation grows. (Images via Giphy)

16. The clerk slowly stamps your paperwork. You’re clear.

You want to get mad, but you can’t at this point. (Images via Giphy)

17. You did it! Now go get your DD-214 and move on with your life.

Five years of college here I come. (Images via Giphy)

Humor

These old Navy training videos on how to flirt are hilariously bad

The National Archives hosts countless educational films that have come from the military throughout the ages. If you want to learn about declassified nuclear testing, they’ve got it. If you want to learn how to properly resist communist propaganda, they’ve got that, too. If you want to learn the 1960’s way of wooing women, you better believe the U.S. Military has wasted money on making those videos, too.


First, in the filmmaker’s defense, videos that covered overall health and general well-being weren’t uncommon at the time. It should also go without saying that the advice the narrator gives — likely with the best of intentions — is a product of its time. There are a few gems in there that, by modern standards, are cringe-inducing, like, “treat her as an equal. Women love that!”

The first film in the series, Blondes Prefer Gentlemen, is a play on the Marilyn Monroe film, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. The 15-minute instructional movie follows two different midshipmen as they go on a date with a blonde (the narrator clarifies that the advice works for all women, regardless of hair color. Good to know). One midshipman, Charlie, shows all the “Don’ts.” Jack showcases all the “Dos.”

There’s actually plenty of legitimate advice in this film for fine dinning etiquette, including which fork to use during fancy dinners, how to start a proper conversation that engages everyone at the table, how to place unused silverware during the meal, and how to not be an arrogant prick during a three-course meal.

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The second video is a bit more, uh, of the times. If you only watch the first three minutes of How to Succeed with Brunettes, you could get the wrong impression. It joking plays off the “don’t” list before explaining all the ways things went wrong. Instead of spending the rest of the film on ways to actually “succeed” with your date, it instead tells you how to properly present her to your superior officer.

Of course, they sprinkle in nice, gentlemanly advice, like walking on the curbside of the sidewalk, opening doors for your date, and letting her pick a place to sit in the movie theater — you know, actual advice. Then, things take a nosedive directly back into, “here’s how you present your date to the Admiral.”

Give these videos a watch and appreciate how far we’ve come.

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Humor

4 stereotypes platoon ‘Docs’ get stuck with

Corpsmen and medics have to be the jacks-of-all-trades when they’re taking care of business. Under the watchful eye of their senior medical officers, “docs” have to execute their insane responsibilities at an efficient rate.


They’re asked to perform some impressive, life-saving interventions that would make a third-year medical student cringe.

They also get blamed for a variety of things they have no control over if they’re the lower man or woman on the totem pole.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked

It’s funny, considering all the good they’ve done throughout America’s history, that their fellow brothers-in-arms like to f*ck with them every so often by creating and perpetuating stereotypes.

Some of those stereotypes stick and get carried on forever!

Related: Why ‘Devil Doc’ is the unofficial name of elite Navy Corpsmen

So, check out four stereotypes platoon medics get freakin’ stuck with.

4. They joined just to look at other service members’ d*cks.

For the most part, that statement is inaccurate. However, there may have been a few medics, throughout the course history, who probably joined to catch a peek every now and again.

3. Navy Corpsmen are just Marine rejects.

As much as we dislike this one, Corpsman can’t help it if their Marines freakin’ love them and see them as equals. That being said, there are a few “docs” who joined because they couldn’t get into the Corps due to stupid tattoo policies — including yours truly.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Stupid, right? (Image from U.S. Marine Corps)

2. They love issuing out the “silver bullet.”

Nope! We can’t think of a single human being who explicitly enjoys taking another’s temperature via their butthole. Yuck! But they’ll do it if they have to.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Terminal Lance #258 (Source: Terminal Lance)

Also Read: 4 most annoying assumptions female veterans absolutely hate

1. The only medical treatment they know is to tell patients to take Motrin, change their socks, and hydrate.

“Docs” can obviously do a lot more than that, but stateside, their hands are tied when it comes to rendering treatment. In combat, however, the rules and regulations dramatically change.

6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked
Yes, the meme makers of the world are so funny, we can’t stop laughing.

Can you think of any others? Let us know below.

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