6 of the worst times to salute officers - We Are The Mighty
Humor

6 of the worst times to salute officers

Saluting is a powerful, non-verbal communication that shows proper respect to a military officer. Although there’s no real written record of how or where the tradition began, precursors to the salute date far back in history when warriors would raise their right hand (traditionally the weapon hand) as a signal of friendship.


The practice of saluting has gone fairly unchanged throughout history. The subordinate hand-gestures first when in the presence of a superior who, in turn, responds accordingly — lower-ranking personnel salute higher-ranking service members first.

Recruits learn how to hand salute in boot camp and demonstrate it hundreds of times before heading out to active duty. The gesture becomes instant as muscle memory takes over.

Although the gesture is meant to pay respect, there are times when an officer doesn’t want to see that salute — and here are just a few.

Related: 5 things enlisted troops love but officers hate

1. Before Monday-morning, boots-and-utes PT when they’re still hungover from the weekend.

Officers like to drink, too.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
“Major? This is the general. Send over that boot lieutenant, will you? I’m too hungover for this ‘boots and utes’ run.”

2. When they’re trying to have a legit conversation and it keeps getting interrupted by incoming and outgoing hand salutes.

Officers have a unit to run and that requires them to chat it up. Their concentration doesn’t need to be broken every time a boot walks through the area.

3. When there are a few dozen enlisted troops headed their way and they must return the salute over, and over, and over again.

The struggle is real, folks.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

4. When an officer is in a rush to go home.

Just like any enlisted troop out there, officers want their liberty time, too.

Also Read: 6 things officers love but enlisted troops can’t stand

5. In a war zone.

You might as well put a bullseye on the officer’s forehead. It’s just not a good idea — don’t do it.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Joker meets Mr. Touchdown, a Marine officer, and salutes him in Vietnam. It’s not a good idea. (Screenshot from Warner Brother’s Full Metal Jacket)

6. When they’re just sore as f*ck from arm day at the gym.

Officers have to keep up physically with all those motivated enlistees. Hitting the gym on the regular helps them compete.

Humor

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Pfc. Harley Dennis, of Anderson, who serves with the Missouri National Guard’s 276th Engineer Company in Pierce City, assists Sgt. 1st Class Eric Corcoran to deliver more than 300 Valentine’s Day balloons to area school kids in the southwest Missouri town. (Photo by Staff Sgt. Dennis Chambers/Missouri National Guard)


In our house, Valentine’s Day isn’t really a thing. As a general rule, the Marine isn’t home for the “holiday,” and since there are a lot of holiday’s he spends away, courtesy of the USMC, this is one day we just don’t really concern ourselves with.

But this year we ran into a snag. Their names are Bethany, Zachary, and Christopher — also known as the three youngest members of the Foley Fire Team.

On the edge of the dreaded teenage years, Bethany came home a few days ago armed with a love note from her “boyfriend” (that asshole), and sat down with her younger brothers to plot out “The Best Valentine’s Gift Ever;” it apparently consists of a lot of bacon (they DO take after their mother, after-all), and a seven-hour nap time while they’re at school. Because adulting is hard.

They presented their plan to the Marine, and then waited with bated breath for him to tell them his grand scheme for the Day Of Love.

“I just bought Mom curtains and a new curtain rod. I suppose I could hang them up before she wakes up?”

The two youngest of the fire team promptly ran off to tattle on Daddy. Not buy Mom a “love” gift? He’s practically an abomination to them right now.

While the boys were relaying the horrifying ordeal to me, I wondered how the Marine was going to get out of this one. It’s perfectly fine to explain to the 12-year-old that sometimes Dad just doesn’t really subscribe to romantic things. As a girl she’s going to have to come to terms with the fact that dudes like him really do exist.

But try explaining that to two 8-and 9-year-old boys who are currently at the dining room table gluing pink and red hearts all over their camouflage Valentine boxes because they know that, while they like camo and guns, girls sometimes like hearts. How Daddy doesn’t understand this is totally beyond their capacity.

“Maybe Daddy is planning a surprise and he doesn’t want to ruin it,” I whispered conspiratorially. The boys nodded and agreed that that’s exactly what was happening. It was the only thing that made sense to them.

“You’re going to want to brain storm some last minute ideas, dude,” I told the Marine later.

“Can you do that crowd-sourcing thing you do on your Facebook and I’ll pick something from that?” he asked.

So that’s exactly what I did, and let me say, I was surprised. Not one girl said she wanted flowers, chocolate, jewelry, or even anything expensive or time consuming, and a lot of their gift suggestions included food.

In fact, because I know the Marine isn’t the only one out there who is finding himself in a gift pickle at the last minute, here’s what actual military spouses said they really want for Valentine’s Day, word for word and complete with all their annoying little emoji things:

1. Bacon roses

Because Valentine’s Day just screams “pork,” right?

2. Not celebrating Valentine’s Day at all.

Jeesh, more “romance” in our marriage/dating? We already have enough of that already…

3. Homemade vouchers for cool stuff

How about a movie night, a kiss and makeup session no matter how upset I am, free kisses anytime all day, etc.

4. Stay at home “date”

My husband is hitting up the USO tomorrow during lunch for flowers and cheap chocolate. ?. Yes he told me he wants to do that. He’s ridiculous. Lol. But in seriousness, even a nice walk or living room picnic on the floor. Super cheap, corny, and fun

5. Waffle House

Hands down. If you sneak them like $10, they’ll let you smuggle in wine sometimes (not that I’m speaking from experience or anything).

6. Beach stroll

This year we are going to take a few hours during the day to run to the beach and just put our toes in the sand before kids get home from school.

7. Mom time

Netflix movie, homemade desert, and pjs. 🙂

8. Cheap sushi

We went to Hamazushi last night because it’s very inexpensive (most items are ¥100 a plate), all you can eat, good quality sushi. Plus it’s all served on conveyor belts and ya can’t beat the novelty of that. 😉 Also, [He] started college again and has a lab tonight, so he won’t be home for “actual” Valentine’s date stuff.

9. A cuddle

After being apart—just being together is enough. I know that may sound cheesy, but it’s so the truth. Being preggo and sick, I’m hoping our date will include pj’s and our couch and the latest “this is us” episode.

10. Couch time

We spend all our budget on the kids. We will stay home with popcorn and a movie to celebrate it.

11. Old School necking

In the car…in the driveway!! ??

12. A load of beef … with love

I’ll make him his fave meal at home… meat loaf!

13. Learn something new

We are taking a couples cooking class tomorrow ❤️

14. A full-on pizza and bubbly extravaganza

[He] & I have done the same thing every year since we’ve been together: Heart-shaped homemade pizza (with mini heart pizzas for the puppies) + our favorite prosecco (the same brand from our wedding) and chocolate covered strawberries (sometimes homemade, sometimes from HEB)… and then turning on a cheesy movie or tv show on Netflix.

It started out the first year or two as our “thing” because we really couldn’t afford too much else. But now it’s a special, almost sacred ritual for us. I wouldn’t trade our little cozy tradition for a world-class meal. It’s just too important to me. I should clarify and say “every year he was actually HERE to celebrate.”

15. Some shootin’

Well, we got married Valentine’s day. We celebrate by hanging out and we go to dinner either the day before or the day after (since payday is always afterwards)because it’s always less crowded. This year is our 20th and we both took the day off. We’re having a range and lunch date. Since it’s a work day, lunch isn’t as crowded and definitely cheaper.

So what are you doing for Valentine’s Day?

And if the Marine is reading this, bacon roses are totally appropriate.

Humor

The 13 funniest memes for the week of Feb. 16th

I really want to hear the safety brief from the Seabees this week. Any time any lower enlisted screws up, they single that dude out and crucify him in front of the unit to make sure it never happens again. When officers screw up, they play it off as a thing that everyone does wrong and remind everyone that they’re the real victim here. Especially if it’s the same officer who screwed up.


“Alright, guys. I know you might have heard about this streaking epidemic, but that stops today!”

Anyways, here’re some memes.

13. He’ll be fine. That drone flying overhead has a sweet Valentine’s Day gift for him.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

    (Meme via PNN)

12. Always trying to look for that last f*ck to give.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
(Meme via Untied Status Marine Crops)

11. Throwing up doesn’t make you less of an alcoholic. It just means you’re making room for more!

6 of the worst times to salute officers
(Meme via Veteran Humor)

10. F*ck Jodie; you can always find a new wife. But what about your dog?

6 of the worst times to salute officers
(Meme via Sh*t my LPO says)

9. Feels like you’re wearing nothing at all… nothing at all… nothing at all…

6 of the worst times to salute officers
(Meme via Military Memes)

8. Come on, Seabees. There’s a time and place for running around naked.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
(Meme via Sh*t My LPO Says)

7. As long as they only think the party is “just loud,” you’re doing it right.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
(Meme via Salty Soldier)

6. It’s not like they had the balls to try sh*t during the Cold War…

6 of the worst times to salute officers
(Meme via Untied Status Marin Crops)

5. Ever wonder why so many Marine brats are born 9 months after the Marine Corps Ball?

6 of the worst times to salute officers
(Meme via Pop Smoke)

4. Just enough motivation to check off the box.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
(Meme via Pop Smoke)

3. Marines will also yell back if they even think you say, “Marine” without capitalizing it.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

2. About to leave and you heard the words, “Hey there, hero! Where do you think you’re going?” And Retention wonders why no one speaks to them…

6 of the worst times to salute officers
(Meme via Army as F*ck)

1. Supposedly, you only get Good Conducts for not screwing up for 3 years. Even if you do, you’ll probably still get one anyways…

6 of the worst times to salute officers
(Meme by WATM)

Humor

5 bizarre times troops answered the call of nature on duty

When you gotta go, you gotta go. It doesn’t matter what you might be doing or who might be shooting at you for doing it. This, of course, includes the military personnel who get put in a lot of situations that would test anyone’s nerves. And bladders.


 

6 of the worst times to salute officers
And sometimes stomachs.

There are the times when having to go came in handy. There were times when it was absolutely necessary. There were times when there was no other way. They answered the call of duty while answering the call of nature.

1. Cooling down a Vicker’s machine gun.

During WWI, British-made Vicker’s machine guns needed a waterjacket to keep the weapon cool as it fired hundreds of rounds of flaming death at oncoming enemy troops who fail to understand the meaning of “No Man’s Land.”

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Someone didn’t get that memo. Or didn’t think it applied to her.

 

As long as you kept the barrel cool by replacing the water jackets when they heated, the guns would shoot for hours and hours, totally reliably. But if troops didn’t have a cool water handy to replenish the water, they would instead pee into the gun’s waterjacket. One gunner said it “made the war a bit more personal.”

 

2. Hosing down an aircraft fire.

Being in a bomber over Europe was incredibly dangerous in World War II. It doesn’t matter what job you’re doing in the crew. American bomber crews had a 40% chance of making their sortie quota. The 8th Air Force alone lost 26,000 men. If you want to know how crazy that is, the Marine Corps total killed for all of WWII is around 19,000.

 

6 of the worst times to salute officers

 

One of the guys who made it back to England was Airman Maynard “Snuffy” Smith, a gunner over St. Nazaire, France – a place called “Flak City.” It was here Snuffy’s plane was torn to shreds by fighters. The fuel tanks started pouring gas into the plane, which of course caught fire. As Snuffy fired his guns at oncoming Nazi fighters, he forcefully pissed the fires out, tended to his crewmates’ wounds, and chucked the flammable items out the window.

 

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Not pictured: Fire, Bullet holes, blood, pee, etc.

Six more men made it back to England with Snuffy, who was awarded the Medal of Honor. The plane broke in half upon landing, though.

3. Forcing NASA to answer the pressing questions.

In 1961, NASA was still testing the things they would have to be prepared for during space missions – namely, answering President Kennedy’s challenge to put a man on the moon within ten years. Anyone who’s ever been on a long road trip can probably guess what one of the first issues they encountered was.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
I don’t think they thought of jugs.

Except Mercury Redstone 3 wasn’t a long road trip. At 15 minutes, it wasn’t even a long space trip. So what do you do with an astronaut who has to pee at an inopportune time? Simple. Pee in the suit.

Even though it meant short-circuiting the equipment designed to measure his vital signs, Alan Shepard did as instructed by NASA and went in the suit. For better or for worse. His colleagues couldn’t believe Houston told him to do it. (If you’re wondering, Buzz Aldrin was the first to pee on the moon).

4. General Relief.

It would take a psychologist of some specialty to detail what is about peeing on your enemy’s territory and fortifications that makes world leaders and generals want to do it. In fact, it’s the first thing they think of. When Winston Churchill visited Hitler’s Siegfried Line in 1945, he wore a “grin of intense satisfaction.”

6 of the worst times to salute officers

 

Churchill wasn’t the only one having a Victory Whiz in Western Europe. General George S. Patton peed in the River Seine as he crossed it, and because he famously announced that he would pee in the Rhine, he made sure someone was there to take a photo.

 

6 of the worst times to salute officers

 

5. The wind pisses back.

In 1950, American troops under Gen. Douglas MacArthur led a complete rout of North Korean forces. After almost pushing the Americans and South Koreans into the sea at Pusan, the entire Communist force fell apart after the Inchon Landing. They were driven all the way to the Chinese border at the Yalu River.

President Truman ordered that only South Korean troops be allowed in the Yalu zone, to keep from provoking China. As every military history buff knows, that’s not what happened. MacArthur pushed Gen. Edward Almond’s X Corps to the Yalu as fast as possible. When he got there, he took the ritual pee in the river.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

Unfortunately, his race to the river dispersed his forces and allowed the sneak attack by the Chinese (who weren’t thrilled with the pee in their river) to succeed.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

Articles

This special ops sniper challenge is the most ridiculous video you’ll see all day

Snipers are considered one of the most dangerous warfighters in the battlefield, taking out targets from concealed and undisclosed locations while homing in on prey that has no clue that they’re even in the crosshairs.


So who in their right mind would challenge a highly-trained sniper to a duel without having a weapon?

Answer: This freaking guy.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Comedian and BuzzFeed Blue host Mike Carrier. (Source: Buzz Feed Blue/ Screenshot)

Related: WWI’s deadliest sniper was from Canada

You may have seen Mike on the popular show “Outsmarted” currently on the BuzzFeed Blue channel on YouTube as he attempts to outsmart some of the toughest minds and computer software out there.

In the episode “I Tried Escaping A Special Operation Sniper,” Mike challenges a retired Marine Corps sniper, claiming that he can evade the devil dog’s crosshairs in a wide open space for 10 minutes.

If Mike wins, he’ll eat his favorite candy — Reese’s peanut cup. But if he loses the duel, he’ll be forced to eat wet cat food.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Yum. (Source: Buzz Feed Blue/ Screenshot)

Let the games begin!

Step 1: Mike stands out in the open and strips down a layer of his clothing. Underneath, he is wearing a Zentai suit which he finishes putting on.

What a nice beach bod? (Images via Giphy)

Step 2: A car pulls up next to Mike, and four other men with matching body types also wearing Zentai suits pop out. A decoy perhaps?

Yeah, it’s a decoy. (Images via Giphy)

Step 3: Mike and his team ignite colored smoke grenades which confused the sh*t out of our trained sniper.

The confusion draws out the sniper. (Images via Giphy)

Step 4: The decoys dance in a circle, bringing the sniper in for a closer look.

Ring around the rosy. (Images via Giphy)

Step 5: After showing off their incredible dance skills, the decoys pair off and hide under blankets.

Team work. (Images via Giphy)

Step 5: Time is up! The sniper shoots one of the decoys in the a**.

Shot directly on the right cheek. (Images via Giphy)

Step 6: The winner is! Mike.

It’s time to celebrate. (Images via Giphy)

Step 7: Claim your prize.

Looks delicious. (Images via Giphy)Check out Buzz Feed Blue’s video to watch this intelligent dude attempt to outsmart a retired Marine sniper.
(YouTube, BuzzFeedBlue)
Humor

7 ways to tell if the new guy is obviously a CID agent

Within the Army’s military police is the Criminal Investigation Command. They’re like NCIS for the Army (the real one — not the TV show). They conduct investigations, collect criminal intelligence, provide forensic laboratory support, and, occasionally, they’re assigned to a unit if they suspect something is wrong.


If CID catches wind of serious misconduct, they’ll insert an agent into a unit through which they’ll observe what’s really going on. The chain of command might know what’s going on, but no one in said unit is aware.

Now, we’re not telling you this to put you on guard at all times — that’d be crazy. You should only suspect someone is secretly a CID agent if they show any or all of these signs.

Then you should absolutely be suspicious.

1. They’re optimistic about the unit.

It’s impossible to show up to morning PT both sober and ready for the day to begin. Anyone upbeat and cheery is not an organic piece of your unit.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Only warrant officers are authorized to smile — mostly because no one can find them and tell them they can’t. (Photo by Senior Airman Kaylee Dubois)

2. They claim they don’t know how to print out their ERB (or don’t want to).

Their ERB is a dead giveaway. Every soldier loves bragging about themselves. At every possible moment, we love to remind people that, “actually, I have four certificates of achievement, not three.”

Anyone who’s not willing to engage in a proverbial pissing contest is clearly a 31D and not an 11B.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
If they show off their challenge coin collection, it’s not their ERB — thus proving they’re an agent. (Photo by Spc. Tracy McKithern)

3. They don’t brag about their previous unit (or claim they didn’t have one).

Speaking of bragging, everyone also sh*t talks their current unit because the last one is always better.

Beware if you ever hear the phrase, “well, I mean, my last unit was okay. Nothing bad, but nothing special.” Obviously, their previous, nondescript unit was CID.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Everyone’s last unit was better — but their next unit will definitely be best. (Photo by Sgt. Thomas Crough)

4. They’re unwilling to do dumb sh*t with you — but want to watch.

What kind of grunt isn’t willing to throw their entire career away at a moment’s notice because their buddy said, “hey, bro. Watch this”? CID agents, that’s who!

Chances are, they’ll be sitting there with their beer, taking mental notes to use against you in court.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Don’t worry, it’s not the soldier taking “notes” on a clipboard — they’re just trying to get out of work. (Photo by Sgt. Jon Heinrich)

5. They’re always asking how your weekends were.

Immediately after a four-day weekend, normal people will make small talk by saying, “how was your weekend?” We’re not here to burst your bubble, but this isn’t because they actually care about what you did. It’s a hollow gesture. Nobody actually cares that you just stayed drunk in the barracks, playing video games.

If there’s even the slightest note of sincerity in their voice, it’s a CID Agent trying to get you to spill the beans about what you did.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
All the CID agent did over the break was prepare his sworn statements against you. (Photo by Sgt. Avery Cunningham)

6. They’re a lower enlisted who actually knows regulations (other than the loopholes).

If pressed on the spot, every response to any regulation should be, “Ah, crap. It’s, uh… AR-6… One sec…” followed by an immediate Googling of the answer. The only time a troop should be able to spout off regulations off the top of their head is if they’re an NCO.

If they know the regulation, they’re trying to pinch you on that law.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
It’s the little things, like showing up on Mondays with a fresh haircut. That’s something CID agents do. (Photo by Sgt. 1st Class Alejandro Licea)

7. They actually pay attention to safety briefs.

No one cares about what is being said at the safety brief before the weekend starts — not even the person giving the safety brief. That’s why it’s the same stuff repeated week in, week out.

The typical CID agent probably just wants to get home to watch their copy of Jack Reacher for the 7th time this week, but they’re still trying to blend in with the unit and pretend like they’re not breaking any rules themselves.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
You never know who’s secretly a CID agent and who’s just a nice person. Stay woke. (Photo by Staff Sgt. Steven Colvin)

Humor

9 photos that show how to execute perfect knife-hands

The knife-hand is a staple gesture in the military. It conveys a sense of power from those who use it wisely and temporarily cripples those who get one stuck in their face.


Delivering the proper knife-hand takes skill, and each one is special in its own subtle way.

Related: This video answers the question of the casualty radius of Mattis’ knife hand

9. The “re-adjusting” knife-hand

This knife-hand is being perfectly deployed to let this boot know his hand salute wasn’t up to freakin’ par. There, that’s better.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

8. The famous “get ready for freakin’ boot camp” knife-hand

These knife-hands are meant to be up-close and personal with the “poolee,” as this is the first of many to come.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

7. The “double-hand” knife-hand

This type of knife-hand is becoming an endangered species, as it takes a mighty human to deliver such a gesture. This double-handed gesture can be specially deployed when talking to a group of screw-ups.

It’s beautiful.

#MattisForPresident

6 of the worst times to salute officers

6. The “interview” knife-hand

This particular knife-hand is also meant to display power and convey a clear message of, “you better f*cking listen.” Notice how the general’s thumb is raised, not laid flat alongside his other fingers. Like Mattis, that’s a legit sign of a warrior.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

Also Related: This is where drill instructors come from

5. The “drive-by” knife-hand

This fine display sends the message of, “stop being a f*ck-up” as you walk by someone who is probably going to f*ck up.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
(Photo by U.S. Marine Cpl. Octavia Davis)

4. The “I can’t believe you’re eyeballin’ me” knife-hand

Sometimes, recruits and other boots eyeball the instructors and they need a quick attitude adjustment. That is all.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

3. The “are you freakin’ serious?” knife-hand

This excellent display of aggressiveness toward another soldier is remarkable. Some say there are no stupid questions. Well, in the military, there are — and this is how they’re met.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

Don’t Forget: 6 times Gunny Hartman was guilty of hazing

2. The “officer and a gentleman” knife-hand

This distinctive hand gesture is formulated especially for men who want to become Naval officers one day.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
(Photo by Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Andre N. McIntyre)

1. The “don’t question me” knife-hand

Self-explanatory.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

Bonus: What it looks like to receive a knife-hand

They fun as hell to hand out, but they suck to receive.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

 

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of June 2

It’s June, in case you’re wondering. But military memes don’t take summer vacations, and these memes will be here with you all through the fighting season.


1. The is why the military has ridiculous names for things, to prevent miscommunication (via Weapons of Meme Destruction).

6 of the worst times to salute officers

2. Never trust junior enlisted with anything but a rifle and a woobie (via Shit my LPO says).

6 of the worst times to salute officers
And only trust them with the rifle if they’re in the Army or Marine Corps.

3. Again, don’t trust junior enlisted with anything but a rifle and a woobie (via Pop smoke).

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Though, to be fair, this game looks awesome.

ALSO SEE: Once upon a time, this ‘little kid’ was a lethal Vietnam War fighter

4. That’s a true friend right there (via Military World).

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Try to line up with this guy on the physical fitness test.

5. While falling in a parachute is the second worst time to learn to fall in a parachute (via Do You Even Jump?).

6 of the worst times to salute officers
The only time that is worse is learning to do a parachute landing fall right after you break both of your legs and some vertebrae.

6. Just dangling under the helicopter waiting to get hit by a stick (via Coast Guard Memes).

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Or, you know, eaten by a shark. Pretty sure this is how Coast Guard admirals fish.

7. There’s always a 70 percent chance it’s a penis (via Decelerate Your Life).

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Even when there is a serious message, there’s at least an eggplant on the end of it.

8. Brad Pitt really moved up in the world (via The Salty Soldier).

6 of the worst times to salute officers
But if you’ve seen the movies, he seems to be happiest as a lieutenant.

9. It’s really romantic until one of you has to spend another two hours melting polish (via Shit my LPO says).

6 of the worst times to salute officers
But, you know, cool profile photo or whatever.

10. Come on, the lieutenant is as likely to eat the dirt as anyone (via Coast Guard Memes).

6 of the worst times to salute officers
At least the enlisted guys will only do it on a dare.

11. Dude didn’t even get a good reenlistment bonus (via Decelerate Your Life).

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Everyone knows you wait for the new fiscal year.

12. Everyone wants to get super fit until they remember how sore your muscles get (via Decelerate Your Life).

6 of the worst times to salute officers

13. Turns out we owe apologies to all those medics and corpsmen.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Does it fix broken bones, yet?

Articles

Officers and enlistees confess the best and worst about each other


Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Play | Stitcher

Historically, the military has relied on clearly defined boundaries of acceptable interaction between the officer and enlisted ranks to maintain good order and discipline.

It is a long-standing custom that dates back hundreds of years and has proven itself effective time after time. But not everyone feels it’s a custom worth holding on to.

“I think there should not be a difference between officer and enlisted ranks,” said former Air Force officer Shannon Corbeil. “I believe we should all reach rank based on experience and accomplishment.”

On the other hand, Chase Millsap — another former officer — believes the military should maintain its course because officers bring leadership experience accomplished through higher learning and training.

Also read: 7 tips for getting away with fraternization

However, Blake Stilwell and Tim Kirkpatrick — two former enlistees — argue that the stupid partying and immatureness is what officers experienced during college.

In this episode of the Mandatory Fun podcast, two former officers and enlistees confess the best and worst about dealing with each other while in active service.

Hosted By:

Blake Stilwell: Air Force veteran and managing editor

Tim Kirkpatrick: Navy veteran and Editorial Coordinator

Orvelin Valle (AKA O.V.): Navy veteran and Podcast Producer

Guests:

Chase Millsap: Army and Marine Corps infantry veteran turned Director of Impact Strategy at We Are The Mighty

Shannon Corbeil: Former Air Force intelligence officer and We Are The Mighty editor

Music licensing by Jingle Punks:

  • Goal Line
  • Heavy Drivers
Humor

5 military myths that Hollywood has taught us to believe

We love movies! That’s why producers spend millions of dollars making them. Sometimes the films we watch are so compelling, audience members believe every moment that is spoon fed to them is the truth.


We’re all guilty of falling for it. Many movie goers get sold on the narrative as the story unfolds across the big screen — even to the point where the performances feel true to life — and the delicate line between truth and fiction becomes too thin.

Related: 7 life lessons we learned from watching ‘Full Metal Jacket’

So check out these military myths that Hollywood puts in their movies and want us to think actually happen — but don’t fall for it.

1. Vietnam veterans are crazy

Movies and TV shows love to feature characters that had tough military careers and reverted to drinking to suppress the memories. This does happen in real life from time-to-time, but not to everyone.

Most who served during that era use their military experience to propel themselves and inspire others.

2. You throw your clean cover after a military graduation

It’s a lot of work to not only find the cover you just flung into the air but clean the grass stains off too.

Does anyone have a tide pen? (Paramount)

3. Cinematic deaths

They just don’t exist — but we tip our hats to filmmaker Oliver Stone (an Army veteran) for capturing this epic movie moment in 1986s Platoon.

How many rounds do you think he took? (Orion Pictures)

4. That one guy who can save the day

In the military, you train as a team and you fight as one, as well.

The debate isn’t if one single person can save another’s ass during battle — that frequently happens.

What we call bullsh*t on is when that single motivator springs into action and becomes the final denominator and leads them to victory as the rest of his team remains pinned down and losing the fight.

They have the need for speed (Paramount)

5. No one gets concussions…ever

We’ve seen countless movies where people get blown up by various sources of explosive ordnance and seem to recover right away (just watch any 80s movie). Since we want to believe the good guys are as tough as nails, they will just brush off the injury and carry on.

It rarely happens like that.

In fact, the traumatic brain injury has been called the signature wound of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.

Hearing a phone or bells ringing is one of the first signs of concussion (Sony)

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Humor

8 reasons Marines hate on the Navy

The Navy and Marines spend a lot of time together for obvious reasons. Like anyone you spend too much time with, they start to get on each others’ nerves.


How, you might ask?

Related: 6 reasons why Marines hate on the Air Force

1. Discipline.

When it comes to discipline, Marines are top tier. The Navy can learn a lot from Marines and have plenty of opportunities to do so while on a ship. Unfortunately for sailors, the kind of discipline Marines have is learned during their boot camp, which is actually hard.

2. Navy “camouflage” uniforms.

We get it, you’re sailors. Your camouflage blends in with water – but that’s the problem. I’ve seen those coveralls you wear on a ship, so I understand you don’t wear the blue digitals when you’re underway, but those coveralls are blue, too. What are you going to do when someone falls off the ship at night?

Navy seamen in uniform
All Navy uniforms are arguably the best, much to the annoyance of Marines. 

3. Funding.

It’s no secret the Marines get the scraps from the Department of Navy’s funds (don’t get me started on that). The Navy likely needs it for those big-ass boats. But how many of those mugs in the wardroom were purchased with government money?

Come on, now.

4. Marines are a department of the Navy.

Yeah, I’m getting started on that. Everyone already knows we’re the men’s department. We use your boats to get around on deployments, but beyond that, our relationship isn’t all that special.

You’re like that weird relative that always brings up unnecessary politics at Thanksgiving dinner.

5. “Ship tax.”

We understand that everyone living on a ship is subject to the “ship tax.” For anyone who doesn’t know, it’s basically where everyone pays a toll to the captain. A sailor or Marine must perform a special duty on the ship.

This usually devolves into Marines working in the trash room with the Navy’s “special” sailors.

6. Ranks and rates.

When I first joined the Marine Corps, I thought I had a grasp of the Navy’s ranks. I knew it would hold some importance during my time, but I was sadly mistaken.

When I got to the Fleet Marine Force, I learned that the Navy also had rates which are specific to their job. Long story short, it’s just too confusing for Marines.

7. Navy deployments vs Marine deployments

Navy deployments are frequent — just like that annoying ex — and more frequent than Marine deployments. Sure, Marines have to do all that pre-deployment combat training, but this Infantry Marine would have enjoyed more deployments.

Spread the love, guys.

8. The Navy is our closest sibling

The relationship between the branches of the armed forces is unique, but the relationship between the Navy and Marine Corps is one of a kind.

As long as both have existed, they’ve been working symbiotically with each other. Marines are amphibious, so they need the Navy’s ships to get around. But at the end of the day, it’s a sibling rivalry.

Just like brothers, we give each other crap for everything.

Articles

5 real life games you can play to get ready for war

Most service members played Army when they were kids. And throughout our childhood educational years, we were presented with a host of games that stretch our minds and hone our analytical skills.


In the military, the goal isn’t much different — though the information is just delivered through alternative means like “death by PowerPoint.” And isn’t nearly as much fun

Related: 5 crazy games you played while in the military

So to avoid the boredom of paper and screens, we compiled a list of real life games you can play stateside that will increase your unit’s communication, physical stamina, and mental toughness.

1. Laser Tag

Running into a low-lit terrorist cell with weapons at the ready with your adrenaline pumping and still being ready to “expect the unexpected” while you clear the room can be incredibly stressful.

Dial back the dangerous nature of the mission and you could have a friendly game of laser tag.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

2. Treasure hunt

In grade school, we used to bury or hide objects at the playground, draw a detailed map where we left them and dare our friends to hunt down the prize — sounds easy.

Pretty much what land navigation is today minus the prize, it’s now your objective.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

3. Flag football

It was in the late 1860s that the football game kicked off between Princeton and Rutgers — and at the time, players typically played both offense and defense. This game requires plenty of communication and sets each player into different jobs and rolls.

While on patrol or in a convoy, if allied forces take contact from the bad guys, it’s up to the leader to “quarterback” the defensive strategy and instruct men how to bring the fight to the enemy.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
The Company Grade Officers Council goes for another touchdown during their flag football game at Eglin Air Force Base, (U.S. Air Force photo/Samuel King Jr.)

4. 52 cards

You can pull many different infantry games from a deck of playing cards. The main focus is to develop a game to build muscle memory. Assign an exercise or action drill for every suit in the deck and use the cards’ face value for the number of repetitions.

First one through the deck is the winner.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

Also Read: 5 things I wish I knew before deployment

5. Blindfolded tag

We conduct military operations at night, attacking the enemy once the sun goes down when they least expect it. There’s no better way to learn to fight if your night vision goes down while you’re stateside than blindfolded tag.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

 

Humor

The 13 funniest memes for the week of Nov. 17

Justice League comes out this weekend but you don’t care because you’ve been waiting for your Real-Life Justice League enlistment to end for the last four years.


These memes are for those sick of saving the world.

1. With all the sex scandals happening, its good that we can still count on something. (via Decelerate Your Life)

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Oh baby yes.

2. Try putting a dominoes pizza hotkey on an AR-15 though.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

Somewhat related: 6 reasons why Marines hate on the Air Force 

3. Tonight: The story of literally every day in the military. (via Team Non-Rec)

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Update: You’re not going home anytime soon.

4. Guess how I know it’s not Fort Bragg. (via US Army WTF Moments)

6 of the worst times to salute officers
A paratrooper would have done a parachute landing fall out the window.

5. There isn’t enough Motrin in the world to fix that foundation.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Also, it smells weird and no one wants to go there.

6. Because what we call a “deployment” is relative.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Bums.

Now: This is why Fallujah is one of the Marine Corps’ most legendary battles

7. “Follow me on my adventure through this office.”

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Now back to the quiet safe room.

8. Call me when woobies become fashionable wear.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Urban Outfitters will never sell this color.

9. Welcome to BX barber shop.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Or the MPF. Definitely the MPF.

The guy who wrote this is cool: That time an entire battle stopped to watch two soldiers in a fistfight

10. Anything with snowflake, cuck, safe place, trigger warning.  (via Decelerate Your Life)

6 of the worst times to salute officers

11. Congress is about to pass a new defense bill.

6 of the worst times to salute officers
Those babies are illegal under the Geneva Convention.

12. This one’s for the good cops out there.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

13. Why the Coast Guard’s job is harder than you think.

6 of the worst times to salute officers

This post is so Fresh it moved to Bel-Air: Watch Gordon Ramsey live a day in the life of a Royal Marine

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