7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life - We Are The Mighty
Humor

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

Alcohol and parties are commonplace in the military. Only troops can throw a raging party on a Thursday that destroys the barracks, instigate a platoon versus platoon fist fight, and involve the Colonel’s hot 22-year-old daughter all while avoiding MPs being called and everyone making it to the 12-mile ruck in the morning. When those same troops get out and use their GI Bill, not a single one of them will be impressed when a classmate says, “Dude! This party is gonna be just like the film, Project X!”


Spoiler alert: It won’t. Not until a college kid rips down a door just to use it as a beer pong table will it even come close. Only a veteran with a DD-214 still warm from the printer can get that party going.

Here are 7 ways barracks parties get you ready for college life.

7. You can actually get the party started!

Veteran students are often seen as the most charismatic bunch. It’s not because we’re the most social people, we just don’t give a damn what people think of us.

This can lead others to follow us — especially to parties. Veterans won’t ever let those college kids down.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
How every veteran shows up to the party. (Image from Columbia Pictures’ 22 Jump Street)

6. You can entertain everyone, from every walk of life

Part of military life is meeting everyone from every corner of the country (in some cases, the world) and getting them drunk. If you want to see a beautiful photo of every race, ethnicity, religion, gender, economic status, and overall place in life, just check out the barracks on any given payday weekend. They’ll all be wasted and probably a few will have their shirts off.

College campuses usually have that same makeup, but veterans can bridge that gap… with copious amounts of alcohol.



Well, Wayne Gretzky did say, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” (Image via GIPHY)

5. You’ll actually know how to talk to the person you’re interested in

On or around military installations, to put it frankly, there aren’t that many beautiful women. If there is one, troops will literally fight each other for the chance to talk to her.

Take that same veteran, who needed to perfect the art of talking to the other sex, give them a strong personality and a good looking body, and let them loose.



We don’t even need to use BAH as a pick-up line anymore! (Image via GIPHY)

4. You’ll know how to hold your liquor

It takes a lot to get troops drunk. The general rule of thumb is to bring as much as you plan on drinking and then some extra. This results in troops coming to parties with bottles upons bottle of booze. All that, and they’ll still probably be just at the upper limit of tipsy or at least can pretend well enough that they aren’t sh*tfaced.

Don’t be surprised when a veteran downs an entire bottle of whiskey, straight, no chaser, and then asks who’s down for shots.



Civilians think they can drink. That’s cute. (Image via GIPHY)

 

3. You’ll know how to babysit

Troops always look after one another at barracks parties. We needed to make sure that no one got in trouble and that no one chokes on their own puke. When a situation arises, troops can snap back to sobriety well enough to handle it.

Being the only ones who can hold their liquor also means they’ll be sober enough to deal with everyone else’s problems when they’re drunk. And it’s never a fun problem like, “we need to hide the colonel’s hot 22-year old daughter! Dad’s on his way!” It’s always boring, civilian problems.



Vets will always carry you home. Mostly to flex for the ladies. (Image via GIPHY)

2. You’ll know how to make the next one even bigger

Troops have astounding drunken memory. They probably couldn’t tell you why they did what they did, but they can remember doing it.

Veterans will take mental notes as if they were a staff officer. They’ll check off what alcohol people actually drank, which music worked best, and who to invite (and not invite) next time.



A vet probably wouldn’t be joking though… (Image via GIPHY)

1. You can still make it to class the next day

Hangovers still exist. That’s just the way it is when you start adding more birthdays to your life. Troops just keep their mouths shut about it because they know they probably shouldn’t have drank an entire handle the night before an 0530 PT test.

When the only stressor is being able to make it to a 9 a.m. class to listen to a math lecture, veterans will probably still make it there fifteen minutes early.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
We worked too damn hard to throw away an opportunity at college. (Image via Reddit)

Humor

10 craptastic Halloween costumes completely out of regulations

It’s that time of year again!


Halloween parties are being planned and folks who couldn’t hack it in the real military pick up cheap ass costumes to make believe they did. Problem is, they don’t even have the common courtesy to swing by a military surplus store and give the veteran community a laugh at their sh*tty attempt at Stolen Valor.

Related: These civilians get pretty creative with their terms for ‘stolen valor’

Certainly this isn’t a comprehensive list. God knows how many variations you can make from camo patterns and a bit of fabric. The kids are also being cut some slack on this one. It’s not like they can enlist to get actual versions of what they’re trying to be.

1. Special Ops Ninja Costume

Whenever you’re at the bar and someone says they “can’t talk about what they did in the military,” this is what they thought the military does.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

2. ‘In the Green’ American cosplay spy

Ahhh, she’s supposed to be a spy. That explains the Soviet navy cadet rank.

She could probably get whatever information she wanted with that corset/half-jacket combo.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

3. Skull Military Man

The coolness of having an Army issued Punisher mask is immediately undone by actually wearing the Army issued elbow pads.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

4. Super Sexy Cross Front

It might get a little, uh, cold, if she needed to reload her machine gun.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

5. Men’s Sexy Sailor Navy

Every sailor in the U.S. Navy constantly fights the inter-service jokes against the rest of the Armed Forces. This costume just gives us ammunition.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

6. Diva Dictator

Her regime is about to get toppled.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

7. High quality military man

“I remember my times in the Army well. Second tour to Douic 66, me and the rest of my Rolling Stones buddies saw some sh*t.”

 

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

8. Sexy Marine

Still one of the better ones to make the list. Too bad this is still the exact stereotype military guys have about women in combat.

 

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

9. Mile High Captain

Someone finally wanted to pretend to be an airman! … Oh, wait. Nevermind.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

10. Military couples costume

Just everything wrong about this. Except the stock models got the feeling of being a dual-military couple right. She’s dead inside, and he’s constantly pissed at everything.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

 

 

Humor

11 hilarious Navy memes that are freaking spot on

In the military, we love to crack jokes at every branch’s expense — even our own. The comedic rivalry is real as it gets, but it’s always in good fun.


So, let’s use these memes to create as many humorous wounds as possible.

Related: 11 memes that perfectly capture life as a commo guy

1. When your level of saltiness is off the f*cking charts

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
We bet he’s got stories for days.

2. Old-school sailors have the best freaking stories about fist fights, drinking, and women — not necessarily in that order.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

3. Just when you thought Navy ships couldn’t get any more hardcore, they go and do this.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
If you think this is impressive, wait until you see what gun they fire on Sunday.

4. The level of his “boot” has officially gone overboard.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
$10 says he’ll get out after his first enlistment.

Also Read: 11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

5. This is what your recruiter conveniently left out of their pitch

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
You can’t win a war without a clean weatherdeck.

6. Every sailor’s career has a different origin story

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
At this rate, he’ll be a Rear Admiral (Upper Half) in no time.

7. You might want to head the restroom afterward and check your trousers for brown eggs

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
Boot stress level: over 9000. (via navymemes.com)

8. The only thing that a hardworking sailor wants is to get off work on time and drink a beer.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

More: 11 Air Force memes that will make you laugh for hours

9. You can piss off a lot of people without repercussions, but a chief is not one of them.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
Hide for as long as you can.

10. Lies, lies, and more lies… Okay, it’s kind of true.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
Experiences may vary.

11. No one can ever outdo this dick joke. This aircrew won.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
(Image via Pop smoke)

Articles

That time the Australian Air Force squared off against missile-shooting kangaroos

A strange story about the Aussies facing off against Stinger missile-wielding kangaroos started circulating around the internet in 1999. The most interesting development was that the story proved to be true. Mostly.


7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
Their great-grandfathers proudly served in WWI.

The original story was about the Defence Science and Technology Organization’s Land Operations/Simulations division in Australia developing the realism of their exercise scenarios. As the story tells it, the programmers were supposed to add mobs of kangaroos to the simulation, making sure to program how they might scatter from low-flying helicopters.

Supposedly, the Australian programmers reused object code from a simulated infantry unit on the marsupials. The new kangaroos scattered from the helicopter, as programmed. Then, they reappeared behind a hill, armed to the teeth with Stinger missiles. The programmers apparently forgot to deprogram their infantry training.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
Private Joey does not operate with his coffee for the day.

Snopes, the website dedicated to investigating internet rumors, picked up this story in 2007. They found that the internet actually had the basic story right.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
Unfortunately, the Pop Rocks and Coke myth is still a myth.

Dr. Anne-Marie Grisogono, head of the Simulation Land Operations Division at the Australian DSTO, told Snopes that programmers knew what they were doing. Heavily armed kangaroos became part of the simulation, weapons and all.

The Aussies thought it was hilarious, and not at all embarrassing.

“Since we were not at that stage interested in weapons,” Dr. Grisogono told Snopes, “we had not set any weapon or projectile types, so what the kangaroos fired at us was, in fact, the default object for the simulation, which happened to be large multicolored beachballs.”

Humor

5 messed-up ways troops welcome the new guy

The military is a close-knit family, built upon multiple generations of camaraderie and inside jokes. Whenever a new person is introduced into that family, they have decades of knowledge to catch up on.

Troops will always rib the new guy — it’s their way of welcoming a new brother and sister.


Of course, just because it’s time to share a life lesson or two doesn’t mean troops will pass up the opportunity to have some fun at someone else’s expense. The following techniques apply to anyone new to a unit — not just the boots.

For maximum effect, mess with the butterbars.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

“Hurrying up and waiting” is the most valuable skill in the military

(Meme via /r/military)

Teach them the unit’s pace

The moment you meet a new guy is the perfect time to show them how things are done — first impressions and whatnot. Chances are, they’ve still got a lot of in-processing that needs to get done and they’ll need a sponsor.

Now’s your chance. You can make this go one of two ways: Move things along at a blistering pace and watch as the new guy tries to keep up or grind things down to a screeching, maddening halt. Choose whichever way more accurately describes your unit.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

Everyone will find it funny. Totally.

(Meme via The Salty Soldier)

Introduce them to their new unit

Your unit has been strengthened by years of bonding. Any dumb fights or petty squabbles have been lost to time. The new guy, however, is fresh meat. You get to relive all of those old jokes without letting them know you’re joking.

For example, let the new guy know that the dude in supply isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed — so they’ll talk extremely slowly to them. Or inform them that the hard-ass First Sergeant really enjoys hugs if you go for one. The sky’s the limit.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

Great way to get them up to speed on how PT is done in the unit as well.

(Meme via /r/military)

Introduce them to the unit after hours

Troops wear their hardcore alcoholism on their sleeve. If the new kid just graduated high school, the most they have to brag about is, likely, that one party where someone’s dad gave them a beer. What better way to give them a more interesting story than subjecting them to possible liver failure?

This is the point where I should throw out there that, legally speaking, consumption of alcohol under the age of 21 is against the law, UCMJ action could be taken, and the MPs will bring the hammer down on those who provide alcohol.

But, you know… Not all military traditions are technically “legal.”

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

If they’re a lieutenant, everyone will just believe your story that they just “wandered” around post.

(Meme via /r/military)

Show them the local landscape

You’d be amazed at how quickly someone learns geographical landmarks when they’re lost. Even more so if they’re on foot. It’s like an impromptu land-nav lesson. Show them the company area and then swing by the Exchange for lunch. Then, out of the blue, you’ll just happen to get an important call the moment they’re out of sight.

It’s a win-win scenario. They learn the area like the back of their hand and you get a break from babysitting.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

Either way, the FNG probably won’t get that you’re messing with them, so have at it.

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

Scavenger hunts!

There is no time-honored tradition tradition quite sending the new guy to retrieve one of the many items in the endless treasure trove of “completely real” things. Recruiters and older vets may try and take away the fun by letting the younger kids know that “blinker fluid” isn’t real, but there are plenty more in the cache.

Get creative and reach for the obscure. Ask the radio guys for a “can of squelch” or the not-blatantly-obvious ID-10-T form. It may sound cruel at first, but on the “search,” they’ll be run around the company area, getting familiar with who does what and where things are kept.

Humor

Navy just dropped its new 2017 smack talk video

In the tradition of “We Give a Ship,” one of the Naval Academy’s most prolific viral video purveyors presents “Helm Yeah!” – as in, “Helm Yeah Navy is going to beat Army this year.”


Naval Academy graduate Rylan Tuohy and a host of fellow graduated Midshipmen rally together every year to produce a high-quality video that, not only burns the Army and its cadets at West Point, but reminds Navy grads of their outstanding fellow alums.

This year’s video includes Annapolis alums Senator John McCain, Roger Staubach, Admiral John Richardson, the Chief of Naval Operations, and even Secretary of the Navy Richard Spencer. Beyond that, it looks like video was sent in from around the Navy, showing the Blue Angels, the USS George H.W. Bush, the USS Kearsarge, and more.

A previous spirit video featured similar wordplay-rich smack talk before the big game. In 2014, Tuohy and crew uploaded “We Give a Ship” to YouTube.

Tuohy’s video burn prompted a response from the West Pointers the next year. Army even included some clever wordplay of their own. Army don’t give a Ship, they give a truck.
The 2017 Army-Navy Game will be played on Dec. 9 in Philadelphia. Last year, the Black Knights won in an upset over the Midshipmen for the first time since 2001. This year, Navy will not only be looking for redemption, but there’s even more on the line: Both teams bested the Air Force Academy Falcons this season.

That means the winner of the game takes home the coveted Commander-In-Chief Trophy.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

It’s a trophy presented to the service academy football team with the best record against the other two schools. Air Force currently has the most wins at 20. Navy has 15. Army only has six wins. Despite Army’s win in last year’s Army-Navy Game, the Midshipmen were still presented the trophy last year by President Obama.

The last time the Army received the Commander-In-Chief Trophy, it was presented by President Bill Clinton.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
1996 Army Football team visiting the White House and President Clinton. (White House Photo)

Articles

5 things every boot should know before dating a local

All motivated newbie boots — fresh out of months of rigorous training — have one agenda: excel at work, drink some beer, and find a local.


Since most lower enlisted troops lack transportation, straying too far away from base isn’t ideal — taxis and Ubers can get expensive.

So showing up at the closest watering hole from your barracks room is probably going to be your best bet.

Related: 7 tips for getting away with fraternization

Once you step off base and meet that potentially special someone, here’s a few pointers before you go full steam ahead:

1. Wrap it up

You may have built up pounds and pounds of muscle these last few months in training, but it only takes a microscopic bacterium to bring all that strength crashing down.

Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool. (Image via Giphy)If you do hook up with someone soon after meeting them, don’t expect to be their first (even if that’s what they told you).

2. Cultural

As a newbie, you might get stationed overseas in a foreign country where the lifestyles and customs can be very different. Make sure you do a little reconnaissance on the do’s and don’t’s or you might send the wrong message at the dinner table.

We told you so. (Images via Giphy)

3. Background check

We’re not suggesting you conduct a full scale credit and background check on your date, but it couldn’t hurt.

We’re saying to casually ask what mommy and daddy do for a living because many young guys and gals who you’ll meet near the base have parents who served.

You don’t want to hit on someone and find out later you broke the heart of the general’s son or daughter.

Congrats, you’re going to be an E-3 for the rest of your career. (Images via Giphy)

4. Putting ring on it

No offense to all the average looking service members out there, but if you are stationed in a foreign country and you hook up with a “10,” they might be trying to find a way to the states and gain citizenship.

Let’s face it, life would be pretty sweet…until she swears in then takes off. (Images via Giphy)

5. Financial security

Dating and then marrying a service member has some pretty good financial benefits; be careful of who you let into that world.

It happens more than you think. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: 5 things you should know before diving into a ‘contract marriage’

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Articles

5 crazy games you played while in the military

As kids growing up, we played games to pass the time, entertain ourselves, and meet other youngsters our age. It was an innocent time.


In the military, it’s sort of the same — except the games are much darker.

Spending the majority of your day either stuck on a ship, humping a pack in the field, or just bored as hell in the barracks, tends to give service members ampul time to come up with simple, low-cost games to play.

Warning: these do not necessarily reflect the most noble moments of our military heritage — but they sure are entertaining!

1. Don’t Fall Asleep

You could consider this a prank or a game.

The military grants you at least 8 hours of rest per night, supposedly. Don’t be so sure that when you manage to sneak a cat nap here or there that someone isn’t out to get you, even if they’re on your side.

These service members found out the hard way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbDoBBTHZtA
 

2. F*ck, Marry, Kill

This one is probably self-explanatory, but Dale Doback from 2008’s Step Brothers (played by John C. Reilly) is going to explain.

 3. No Balls

This game is almost like truth or dare, minus the truth option.

It’s no secret that men and women sometimes talk themselves up in front of their comrades to boost their image to gain respect. We’ve all experienced it at some point or another and maybe even done it ourselves.

The best time to call out “no balls” is after a tough talker makes a strong arm claim and no one else expects it. Seeing everyone’s shocked reaction of “will they do it?” could be priceless.

4. Nut Tap/ The Gator/ Nut Check

The various names of this game are endless.

Out of all the games, this is probably the most dangerous and most painful one. It can leave your fellow gamers fuming at you for extended periods of time, but who cares. It’s hilarious!

This game is typically controlled under false pretenses as getting you mark into proper position can be challenging.

5. Playing Picasso

You’re the last man in the office, as you secure the spaces you notice John Doe has left his CAC inserted (so to speak) into a government computer and he’s gone for the day. Game on!

A Common Access Card (or CAC — please don’t call it a CAC card) is just as important for civilians and active duty members to have in their possession while on base as a driver’s license while operating a motor vehicle. Once you’ve retrieved the CAC, its time to teach the forgetful service member a small, but useful lesson.

Time to create your masterpiece!

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life

These games are meant to be conducted out of good wholesome fun. So don’t be that guy who goes overboard.

What military games did you play? Asking for a friend…

Articles

7 things you should know before joining the infantry

There’s no shortage of heroic war stories — truth or fiction — with heavy amounts of glory and honor in them, which can cause young adults to crave certain adventures. Although serving in the infantry does bring a level of individual satisfaction, many facts tend to get left out regarding what it’s really  like to be a ground pounder.


So before you run to your local recruiting office to sign on the dotted line and become a hero or whatever, here are a few things you might need to know:

1. It’s a dangerous job

Movies do a great job depicting how dangerous war can be as directors add in cinematic kills and awesome camera work.

In real life, there’s no pulse-pounding theme music or slow motion effects — the sh*t is real.

Yes, we’re serious. (Image via Giphy)

2. You will make unbreakable relationships

Once you make a friend in the infantry, you always have that special bond no matter what.

Hopefully, you’re the “Maverick” in the relationship. (Image via Giphy)

3.  It can be really, really boring

You’ve probably heard the phrase “hurry up and wait.” In a grunt unit, everything takes more time than it should and you’re going to have plenty of down time. So make sure you have games downloaded on your smartphone to play and help you stay awake while you wait for the higher-ups to “pass the word.”

Stay awake brain. (Image via Giphy)

4. You will get to blow sh*t up

This is the best part. That is all.

3/5 Get Some! (Image via Giphy)

5. You will be made to do stupid tasks

It’s called a “working party.” This sounds way more fun than it actually is. Instead of plenty of beer and drunken coeds, you’ll be outside in the heat “police calling” cigarette butts or mopping your boss’s office.

If this looks fun, being a boot in the infantry may be your calling(Image via Giphy)

Also Read: 5 differences between Army and Marine Corps infantry

6. You will go on a lot of mandatory hikes

Whether it’s 5 miles or 25 miles, an infantryman will put on all his gear and equipment and walk the base to help get him in shape for deployment — it’s called a conditioning hike and it’s the worst.

Here’s a fun little trick, wear pantyhose under your socks to keep from ripping up your heels up. You’re welcome.

It might look weird, but it can save your feet and maybe even your life. (Image via Giphy)

7. You’ll earn yourself lifelong pride, you smug bastard.

If you manage to get through all the training, deploy to combat, and make it home safe — you will have unspoken bragging rights forever.

Smile! You’re not serving behind a desk for the next four years. (Image via Giphy)

Articles

This is why officers should just stay in the office

Army Sgt. David Logan Nye just wanted to do his job during his first combat deployment.


But that’s not how the military works.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
Who needs a metal detector when you have hopes and dreams? (Go90 No Sh*t There I Was Screenshot)

Also read: This is why the military shouldn’t completely outlaw hazing

In this episode of No Sh*t There I Was, Nye sets off on a fools-errand with a bunch of high brass and a very stressed out guy charged with detecting IEDs. When they hear a call on the radio that a potential insurgent is fleeing a checkpoint, they take off running to intercept — leaving the metal detector behind.

“Pass the guy protecting us from IEDs…because there are too many probable IEDs on the ground…?” Nye’s inner monologue reflects that of everyone who has ever had to deal with an overly-enthusiastic boss.

Luckily, the rag-tag group of heroes didn’t encounter any IEDs that day, but they did stumble upon something else much more…groovy? Check out the video at the top to see what it was.

Oh, and to my fellow officers out there, let’s try to get in the way of the experts a little less, shall we?

Watch more No Sh*t There I Was:

Why it sucks to report to the ‘Good Idea Fairy’

A Ranger describes what being a ‘towed jumper’ is actually like

Why you should never run through smoke you didn’t throw

Smooth talking your way through gear turn-in is a stinky proposition

Humor

7 unrealistic expectations troops have about their first unit

For months, young troops train, perfecting the skills they need to fulfill the MOS for which they signed up.


During training, troops imagine what life will be like once they’ve gotten their orders and arrive at their first unit.

Chances are, they’ve set their expectations way too high and are in for a huge letdown.

Related: 6 crazy things some troops get away with living in the barracks

1. Everyone is going to be a complete badass

Although the military is full of outstanding service members, most of them are just your “average Joe” trying to make a living. We blame this expectation on all those motivational posters and videos we saw in the recruiter’s office.

2. That the equipment would be brand new

We train with gear that isn’t brand new; don’t expect any of the equipment you get issued at supply to be any different.

3. Troops making decisions based on logic

Believe it or not, most of the decisions made aren’t the result of hours of intense discussion and proper planning. Typically, decisions are made based on time, money, and, most importantly, someone’s schedule.

4. You’ll be treated like an adult

Being legally an adult doesn’t mean you’re going to be treated like one once you arrive at your first unit. The fact is, many newbies aren’t mature enough to follow orders — and that screws it up for everybody else.

5.  You assume you won’t work as a janitor anymore

False. Every lower enlisted troop has to keep their barracks room and workspace super clean. That means you’ll spend plenty of time scrubbing the floors.

6. You’ll have tons of freedom

You’re still going to pull duty and you’ll work seven days a week while you’re deployed.

Also Read: 7 ways ‘Starship Troopers’ is the most outstanding moto film ever

7. You think you’re special for some reason

Troops get chosen for a variety of projects — it’s not because you scored high on a test or because of your out-of-this-world personality. It’s because the military has a job that needs to get done and you just happened to be standing around.

Humor

7 reasons why active duty hate on reservists

The military is divided into two groups: The hardcore, active-duty troops and the weekend warriors we’ve come to know as reservists.


We’re all on the same team, but the rivalry between active duty and reservists can be just as intense as inter-branch rivalries. Working together can be freakin’ tough.

(238DarthNinja | YouTube)The struggle is real, people!

Related: 6 reasons why Marines hate on the Air Force

Check out these seven reasons why active duty hate on reservists

7. They expect the same respect when you run into one of them.

Not every command has a reservist unit attached, so running into one is rare. But when you do, it’s jarring. Since we wear the same uniform, they expect to be treated like any other trooper.

Except they only train drill work show up two days a month and want to be seen as if they’re the tip of the spear.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
Please, don’t let me deploy.

6. Your office always looks like sh*t on Monday mornings.

Reservist use your office space when they finally make it into work. It becomes theirs and there’s nothing you can do about it.

5. It feels like a stranger is living in your house one weekend per month.

They sit at your desk, use your computer, eat at your table, and you’ll never get to know them.

4. Most of them are out of shape.

That is all.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
Well, active duty does.

3. They’re their own storytellers.

Reservists always want you to know they were once on active duty… every single time they see you.

2. Weekend warriors always think they’re tactical.

They buy their own tact gear, but don’t know how to use it — or if they even need it.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
You sure are, pal.

Also Read: 4 things you immediately learn after treating a Taliban fighter

1. You’re not allowed to touch the “reservist stuff” in your own office space. WTF?

They leave their belongings for their next time they train drill work decide show up and you have to sit with it all month long.

Bonus: Some even try to give you notes on how they think you should run your unit.

7 ways barracks parties prepare you for college life
#thestruggleisreal

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Humor

6 funny things most infantrymen lie about

Serving in the infantry is, basically, one huge d*ck-measuring contest. Everybody, man or woman, wants to be the best at every aspect of their job.


Every day at work, infantry try to impress everyone in the squad. Day-in, and day-out, for some reason — as veterans, we’re still not sure why we tried so hard to do that.

Anyway, we lie about little things we don’t think anyone will be able to prove. However, once someone manages to call out the bullsh*t, the excuses come rolling in.

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1. The reason why they expended 200 rounds during a firefight when they clearly couldn’t see the enemy.

Grunts can be trigger happy. They enjoy firing their weapons at the bad guys, hoping to score a solid kill shot, even if it means expending 90% of their ammo. Half the time, the ground pounders don’t get a clear line of sight on enemy movement from ground level.

But they still pull the trigger.

2. Why they shot so poorly at the range.

Not every infantryman is a crack shot. When you’re competing for bragging rights throughout the platoon and you don’t win, excuses are made.

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3. How many girls they’ve been with prior to joining the military.

All grunts were ladies men before they signed on the dotted line. It’s incredible how joining takes all their mojo away.

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This guy is the real Ladies Man, and he’s not joining the infantry anytime soon. (Paramount)

4. How muscularly toned they once were before joining the infantry.

The average grunt is around 19-ish. So, it’s pretty hard to believe that your body’s metabolism has changed so quickly that you lost your muscle density.

5. About all of their outstanding achievements before shipping off to boot camp.

It’s okay, not everyone can be a high school football or wrestling star.

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These guys are football stars and they aren’t in the infantry — yet.

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6. How many MOS options they had, but they chose the infantry.

Boy-oh-boy can young infantrymen dream.

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