Checking out your weapon from the armory is like standing in line at the DMV — it’s the worst game of hurry up and wait ever.
When you do get it, you spend your day dry firing your weapon at the range and then check it right back in at the close of business.
It happens every day, and the repetition can be very annoying.
Meanwhile back at the barracks, you’re sitting in front of your TV watching your favorite movies or playing your favorite video game, and you begin to think that the futuristic laser gun might be a lot of fun to use against actual bad guys.
Check our list of fictional weapons we wish we could check out of the armory:
1. That super sonic shotgun thingy (Minority Report)
When killing the bad guys isn’t the mission, but knocking the crap out of them is.They got knocked the f*ck out. (Images via Giphy)I actually just want to have this around for my daily commute.
2. The Noisy Cricket (Men in Black)
It would be that perfect weapon to conceal around your ankle holster if you can withstand the recoil of firing it.His back has to be sore. (Images via Giphy)Maybe do some squats and work on your stance before a live-fire exercise.
3. The Auto 9 (RoboCop)
Because having a .357 Desert Eagle look-a-like you can fire on full auto is badass.No big deal. (Images via Giphy) If shooting paper targets isn’t your thing, Detroit still needs cops. No word on the Auto 9 being standard issue though.
4. M41A Pulse Rifle (Alien)
With the outstanding rate of fire of 900 rounds per minute, we’d take this sucker anywhere.
Also, kudos to the guys who actually made an M41A. Please bring some by Twentynine Palms for immediate testing.
5. Lightsaber (Star Wars)
This would be a better weapon to have than the standard issue bayonet we’re used too.Look at his perfect freakin’ form. (Images via Giphy)
6. The Lawgiver (Judge Dredd)
It fires grenades, armor-piercing rounds, and it’s voice activated. This would be the perfect weapon if you find yourself in a jam.They’ve all been judged. (robert cowley, Youtube)
Plus, yelling “I AM THE LAW” every time you fire it would be therapeutic.
7. The Needler (Halo)
A weapon that shoots energy bursts is a must-have in our armory.(CryGateEntertainment, YouTube)
8. Mark 2 Lancer (Gears of War)
It’s the perfect weapon if you just feel like cleaving your enemy in two.Cut that sucker. (Images via Giphy)
9. EM-1 (Eraser)
This rail gun comes fully equipped with a green x-ray scope and we like that.A little overkill maybe, but it’s still badass. (Images via Giphy)
10. Gatling Gun Jet Pack (Kickass)
Who wouldn’t want this epic flying weapon in their armory?Although, cleaning it would be a pain in the a**. (Images via Giphy)
11. The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device (Portal)
With the ability to create portals and teleport through space, this gun could send troops into any battle in a matter of moments.Perfect for snatch and grab missions. (Images via Giphy) Can you think of any others? Comment below.