9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops - We Are The Mighty
Humor

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops

Whenever a military film comes on and the fictional non-commissioned officer gets heated, it’s always the same routine. “Drop and give me twenty.”


The truth is, that exact phrase isn’t actually used much in the military. Not because push-ups aren’t a thing in the military — they are — but NCOs tend to have more unique and clever punishments in mind — especially if you’ve really pissed them off.

Here are a few examples of “character development” that have been used on us:

#1. Flip the rocks ‘so they can get a sun tan.’

The pain of one Joe who messed up royally can sting far after they ETS.

In front of some company, battalion, or brigade headquarters are a bunch of rocks. Each is painted with a color on one side, and another color on the other. Whoever gets the unfortunate task of painting the rocks gives future disobedient soldiers a lighter punishment: to flip the rocks from one color to the other. The next guy who acts up flips ’em back.

Sound boring and tedious? That’s because it is.

 

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
We don’t have all day! Flip that rock!

#2. Mop the rain off the motorpool.

The idea behind creative corrective actions is to be give them a nearly impossible task to emphasize how badly they screwed up with a dash of hilarity to maximize the point.

Both can be achieved by making their dumb ass mop up the rain or sweep the grass.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Image via Imgur)

#3. Carry around an oversized version of what they lost.

Whenever you see some poor schmuck toting a giant pice of cardboard drawn to look like a CAC, you know they left their ID card one day.

Why stop there?

If they lose their weapon, make them carry a stupidly large cardboard “rifle” that they must refer to as their “wife-le”. They lost track of time? Give them one of Flava Flav’s old clocks. The sky is the limit!

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Image via Rallypoint)

#4. Carry around a potted plant ‘to replace the oxygen they’re wasting.’

Do you have one of those “just can’t get anything right” soldiers? Are they a waste of space and oxygen?

Make them replace all of that beautiful oxygen they’re hogging with their very own plant to put something back in the air.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Your soldier’s newest battle buddy! (Image via Amazon)

#5. Making the troop on a ‘dead-man’s profile’ blink in cadence.

There’s always that one cocky junior guy that is quick to pull out the “Nuh-uh Sergent! You can’t make me do sh*t!”

Get ’em. Anything done a thousand times in cadence can become a living hell.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Blink faster Private Colbert!(Image via Comedy Central)

#6. Fill sandbags with nothing but a white towel that you expect to come back clean.

This one always catches the smart asses if you leave them unsupervised. Take the typical deployment punishment to the next level by giving them only a white towel to clean off the sandbags when they finish. The bags must stay at one point and the dirt is a yard or so away.

A good Joe will fill the sandbags by hand and save the towel for the end and leave just trace amount of dirt on them. The smart ass will get lazy and use the towel to carry more sand into the bag and try to finish earlier. If they towel is dirty or if the task is done too soon. You caught them.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Filling sandbags has been a time honored tradition going back since Joes started screwing up. (Image via FirstWorldWar)

#7. Cutting Sgt. Major’s grass with sewing-kit scissors.

An oldie, but a goodie.

There’s a perfectly good sidewalk to use. There’s no need to step on the Sgt. Major’s grass. Give them the most useless tool at AAFES to do the most tedious task for the most amount of time.

The grass will grow back to what it was by the time they finish the field.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
This guy got his grass sent in mail to have it on deployment. Step on his and you’re screwed. (Image via Rallypoint)

#8. Greeting of the day is repeating whatever they screwed up on to everyone.

Make them the example to remind others not to follow.

“Good morning, Sergeant. Be sure not to leave your helmet at the range!” over and over again should hopefully embarrass them enough to never do that again.

Extra points if it’s for a dirty barracks room and you have them use their dirty socks as sock puppets. “Good afternoon, specialist… Be sure to clean your barracks room…”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Extra Extra points if they do it to a General officer. (Image via Defense.gov)

#9. Take away their birthday.

Hands down the most diabolical disciplinary action comes from Redditor Forewarned-Forearmed in a post back in 2014.

“What are they going to do? Bend my dog tags? Take my birthday away? chuckle chuckle”

Yep — apparently a Navy Captain did just that once by deliberately sailing parallel to the International Dateline then slipping across it right at midnight.

Tomorrow suddenly becomes yesterday and no birthday for you this year ya chuckle head.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
No one ever said the Navy wasn’t salty as hell.

Articles

6 times enlisted troops can rip on officers and get away with it (maybe)

It’s no secret in the military that everyone guns to rip on each other for one reason or another. Rank plays a huge part on how and when you can talk smack and get away with. Sergeants verbally disciplining their juniors in the wide open commonly happens on military bases regardless of who’s watching.


Outside of boot camp, getting ripped on happens with fellow service members you don’t even know — and lower enlisted personnel are prime targets.

So now let’s turn the tables for a change. Getting a chance to rip on an officer and get away with it is an extremely rare. So take notes and keep an eye out for one of these juicy opportunities for a little payback.

1. During PT

The military is highly competitive, so when you manage to beat your commanding officer in a push-up contest — it’s time to gloat.

“Can you do this, sir?” (image via Giphy)

2. Shooting Range

Being an excellent shot is one thing, having a tighter grouping than your commanding officer — priceless.

span class=”mce_SELRES_start” data-mce-type=”bookmark” style=”display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;”/span(images via GIPHY)

3. At Medical

In the field, Army medics and Navy Corpsmen have the power to call the shots when it comes to taking care of their patients. Regardless of the rank the”Doc” has on their sleeve or collar, it’s their time to shine and order how things go down (but you need to earn that power).

(images via Giphy)

4. Infantry Tactics

Most infantry line officers are just starting out and are going to make mistakes — and that’s when the experienced enlisted troops can step forward and publicly correct an officer on how the mission should go.

Be slightly more professional when you address them, though. (images via Giphy)

5. Crypto

Many officers like to believe they know everything about everything — they don’t.

Crypto rollover is when the codes on your communication system are adjusted so the bad guys can’t hack them. Although it’s easy for the E-4 and below comm guys to handle the task, many officers don’t know the first thing about it even though some try very hard.

It’s okay sir, maybe you’ll get it next time. (images via Giphy)

6. Buying dumb sh*t after deployment

After months and months of saving up their money, officers — like enlisted — spend their earnings on things that don’t make sense either. They’re only human.

When you blow your money on something you don’t need, stand by for some sh*t talking.

Until the money runs low. (images via Giphy)

Humor

6 practical jokes you played on the FNGs

In the military, practical jokes help pass time, generate camaraderie, and send a message of where you rank socially. The truth is, practical jokes are the reason for some of a troop’s most ingenious uses of time.


If you think about it, it can take a considerable amount of time to come up with various ways to prank somebody when they least expect it and get them to laugh about it afterward.

So, what kind of practical jokes do service members play on one another? Well, the list is long, but here are a few common ones that are easy to pull off.

www.youtube.com

Go find the blinker fluid

You know, the fluid that keeps your blinker lights shining bright? It’s an essential fluid that powers the electrical current of the blinker. So, when your sergeant or corporal tells you to go locate a bottle of blinker fluid and top off the Humvee — you better do it most ricky-freakin’-tick.

Below is a tutorial video on how to accomplish such an easy task.

Getting your mattress stamped at the quarterdeck

When you check in to your first training school or unit, it’s written in some rule book somewhere that you must get your mattress stamped at the quarterdeck before you sleep on it. This means you’ll have to haul the bed to the quarterdeck, locate the Watch, and have them whip out their “mattress stamp.”

Note: The Watch may give you a dirty look when you ask for the stamp, but that’s normal.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2FZ5eFxoKjf218c.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Fi.giphy.com&s=96&h=4728fc547bfe707911292f3f7b1cb92386b455a59086e855a9243a21b07656c2&size=980x&c=3877285127 crop_info=”%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252FZ5eFxoKjf218c.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fi.giphy.com%26s%3D96%26h%3D4728fc547bfe707911292f3f7b1cb92386b455a59086e855a9243a21b07656c2%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3877285127%22%7D” expand=1]Giphy

Getting your ID10T form signed

This is one of the most critical forms that every FNG is required to get signed by everyone in their chain of command. First, head to the personnel office and ask for it. They may give you a hard time, but it’s all apart of their SOP.

Keep demanding the paperwork until they cave.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops

Giphy

Pouring Tabasco sauce in a sleeping troop’s mouth

Like they say, “you’ll have time to sleep when you’re dead.” As a newbie in the field, falling asleep with your mouth open just isn’t a good idea — like ever.

Tossing a training grenade into the berthing areas

It’s only funny to the guy tossing the training grenade inside. And usually nobody ever gets hurt… for the most part. Although the act seems dangerous and childish, it’s a solid way to train your troops never to let their guard down.

Service members love to spin their shenanigan bullsh*t and make it sound like legit training. It’s our unique talent.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops

Giphy

Yell out, “attention on deck!” when you catch a troop dozing off

You never know when a superior officer is going to make their way over, so you need to be prepared at all times.
Don’t let them catch you slippin’.

Articles

6 myths civilians believe about Marines

Since Nov. 10th, 1775, the Marine Corps’ rich history of kicking ass and taking names has charmed Americans and earned their respect all across the United States. Because of that, civilians see Marines in a different perspective than the Navy, Air Force, or even Army.


Since every branch of the military has a particular image that the general population associates them with, we asked several civilians, “What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about the Marines?”

Related: 5 military myths that Hollywood has taught us to believe are true

Here’s what they said:

1. They have to be super patriotic to join

Most of them are, but others just couldn’t see themselves serving in another branch.

Now I’m joining the Corps! (Images via Giphy)

2. All Marines have to go war and fight

Not true. The Marines Corps is made of several different elements other than the infantry, like aircraft maintenance, logistics, and duties that cause your Marine to sit in an office and analyze intel all day — so breathe easy, momma bear.

Dammit, Carl! (Images via Giphy)

3. They’re all excellent shots with a rifle

Most are, but a low number of recruits score just high enough to earn the “rifle marksman” medal, a.k.a. the “pizza box.” All Marines must rifle qual before they can graduate from basic training, but it takes extra training and skill to earn higher levels of marksmanship.

Ask a Marine to explain this joke. (Images via Giphy)

4. They’re buff and strong

Most are pretty jacked, but many are just normal size — they make it up by having tons of heart.

Oh, Master Sergeant! (Images via Giphy)

5. They are mean and scary as hell

Marines can get pretty intense, but that just shows their passion. While a Marine can get super scary (especially when they gain rank or come in contact with people they just don’t like), some get by with just a quiet intensity.

But most of the time they’re fun loving. (Images via Giphy)

6. They’re brainwashed in boot camp

Negative, Ghost Rider.

They are just influenced to love their country and branch of service at an exceptionally high level through various mental and physical activities.

They have to be, to carry out the missions they’re are asked to do.

Sometimes this involves screaming while brushing their teeth — which may happen. (Images via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Humor

We decided to make the best fictional fighter squadron ever

The fighter squadron has long been a staple of the military in the real world – as well as in fiction. When you think “Star Wars,” you think Red Squadron making the trench run. “Robotech” had Skull Squadron. “Baa Baa Black Sheep” had a very fictionalized version of VMF-214, the “Black Sheep.”


There are real squadrons with legendary track records as well. VMF-211 is the famous “Wake Island Avengers,” there are the “Jolly Rogers” from the U.S. Navy, as well as the “Black Aces” of VF-41. The Air Force has the 555th Fighter Squadron (the “Triple Nickel”), as well as the “Juvats” from the 80th Fighter Squadron.

Fighter squadrons can have anywhere from 12 to 24 planes. In this case, we will go with four flights of four planes each. We’ll also add the CO, XO, and Ops Officer slots as well in what we will call All-Star Squadron.

Commanding Officer – Greg “Pappy” Boyington from “Baa Baa Black Sheep”

 

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

The real Pappy Boyington was the top Marine Corps ace – and he had a good run as the commander of VMF-214. The fictionalized version played by Robert Conrad was a superb tactician – cooking up a version of “Operation Bolo” in the pilot of the series, then pulling off several other operations. Also, his experience riding herd on the motley crew of VMF-214 will help with this unit as well.

Executive Officer Wilma Deering from “Buck Rogers in the 25th Century”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Youtube Screenshot)

A good pilot in her own right, Wilma also can backstop Boyington’s weaknesses. Notably the paperwork and all the other mundane details that Boyington either got bored with, or may be too hung over to deal with.

Operations Officer – Chappy Sinclair from “Iron Eagle”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Youtube Screenshot)

Chappy Sinclair is here as a superb operational planner. In all four “Iron Eagle” movies, he is a mover and shaker — often able to accomplish missions despite long odds and being outnumbered and outgunned. Who else could you pick as the Ops O?

First Flight

All-Star One-One – Jeffrey Sinclair from “Babylon 5”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Youtube Screenshot)

With a long family tradition of fighter pilots, Sinclair was no slouch himself, being one of the few survivors from the Battle of the Line. However, in more even fights, he held his own.

All-Star One-Two – Luke Skywalker from “Star Wars”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Youtube Screenshot)

This farm kid has been lucky and has a few kills, but he is clearly a raw talent who could learn from being on the wing of a more experienced fighter pilot. This kid will get his own squadron – someday.

All-Star One-Three – David Campbell from “The Longest Day”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

One of “The Few” who had fought off the Nazis in the Battle of Britain, he can be an excellent element lead. Tends to be up for a sortie – unless he’s drinking a beer.

All Star One-Four – Christopher Blair from “Wing Commander”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Youtube Screenshot)

He is fresh out of flight training but clearly has some natural ability. Like Skywalker, he is best suited as a wingman for now, but has the ability to rise through the ranks.

Second Flight

All-Star Two-One – Roy Fokker from “Robotech”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Youtube Screenshot)

He has seen a lot of combat, and has been a father figure to younger pilots. Given his extensive combat experience, he can lead a flight, no problem.

All-Star Two-Two – Lieutenant Starbuck from the original “Battlestar Galactica”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

A sharp pilot who can sometimes get himself in too deep (he’s crashed his fighter a number of times), Starbuck is not quite yet flight or element lead material.

All-Star Two-Three – Wedge Antilles from “Star Wars”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

This guy has plenty of experience, and he has managed to survive two Death Star runs. That said, his units have taken heavy casualties in the past. Good enough to command an element, but flight lead may be a stretch for now.

All-Star Two-Four – Doug Masters from “Iron Eagle”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Youtube Screenshot)

Another natural stick with a high kill count. Still, there is a distinct need for more seasoning. Though Masters does seem to enjoy playing tunes while flying.

Third Flight

All-Star Three-One – Tyrus Cassius McQueen from “Space: Above and Beyond”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Youtube Screenshot)

He’s taken on an enemy ace and lived, plus he has a track record of being a mentor to younger pilots. McQueen’ll be able to handle the other pilots in this flight.

All-Star Three-Two – Steven Hiller from “Independence Day”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Youtube Screenshot)

He’s a good pilot – scoring a maneuver kill against an enemy that had a means to neutralize other weapons. Then he readily adapted to flying an alien craft. While he may get his own squadron some day, right now, he needs someone more experienced to get him to settle down and get over his obsession with the Fat Lady.

All-Star Three-Three – Cameron Mitchell from “Stargate: SG-1”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Youtube Screenshot)

He’s had combat experience on Earth and against the Gou’ald, as well as some small-unit leadership experience. Mitchell also received the Medal of Honor for heroism.

All-Star Three-Four – Pete Mitchell from “Top Gun”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(WATM photo archive)

No relation to Cameron Mitchell, Pete is a very good pilot with three kills in one engagement over the Indian Ocean. That said, some view his unorthodox style as “dangerous,” and he has made high-speed passes on various towers.

Fourth Flight

All-Star Four-One – Brad Little from “Fire Birds”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Youtube Screenshot)

Okay, he mostly flew rotary-wing aircraft, but he has extensive experience as an instructor, and did score a kill on a fighter with an Apache.

All-Star Four-Two – Harmon Rabb, Jr. from “JAG”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Youtube Screenshot)

Rabb’s shown some skill, but had a lengthy layoff due to his assignment to the Judge Advocate General corps for an extended period. He’ll catch on quick, but let’s season him under Little.

All-Star Four-Three – Blaine Rawlings from “Flyboys”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Youtube Screenshot)

The combat experience Rawlings has is substantial, and he did down a pair of German aces. He was also awarded the Croix de Guerre for a daring rescue.

All-Star Four-Four – Tom Kazanski from “Top Gun”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Youtube Screenshot)

The man flies by the book, and has very rarely made a mistake (over the Indian Ocean, he got target-fixated and a MiG-28 damaged his bird). We figure he’s best suited to flying as someone’s wingman until he can loosen up a little.

Who do you think we should add? Let us know in the comments below.

Humor

5 veteran comedians you should look out for

Service members have some of the best humor around; it comes with the job. Our comedy is pretty freakin’ dark when comparing it to the civilian sectors.


They say laughter is the best medicine. In that case, these hilarious veteran comedians should all be damn doctors by now.

Related: 5 military movies you should look out for in 2018

Check out these five military veteran comedians you should look out for in 2018.

5. Mitch Burrow

This Marine veteran served in Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2003. Afterward, he started a career in manufacturing, but quickly realized that it sucked. He began his stand-up comedy career after driving down to the Comedy Store in La Jolla, drinking three shots of tequila and a couple of Budweisers, and getting on stage. Later, Mitch was told it went pretty well.

To follow Mitch or check out one of his shows visit his website: MitchBurrow.com.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Mitch Burrow sporting his serious face while doing his monthly workout. (Source: Mitch Burrow)

4. Thom Tran

After enlisting in the Army at 18, Thom spent most of his career as a Communications Sergeant and Civil Affairs Sergeant. Thom decided to become a comedian after sustaining an injury during combat operations.

In 2008, he moved to Los Angeles and soon created The GIs of Comedy tour — a show that travels the world performing for both military and civilian audiences.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
The always-hilarious Thom Tran (Source: Thom Tran / IMDB)

3. Isaura Ramirez

After serving 13 years in the Army, this former captain deployed to Iraq for 15 months. When she returned home, Isaura enrolled herself in a comedy class as a form of expression.

Now, this funny girl performs for various venues and has been featured on her very own TED Talk.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Former Army captain and funny girl, Isaura Ramirez.

2. Rocco Stowe

This Philadelphia native joined the Marine Corps at 18, serving as an infantry rifleman (0311) with 3rd Battalion 6th Marines. After leaving the Corps in the mid-90s, Rocco moved to Los Angeles where he’s had luck landing gigs, including headlining his act at several comedy stores throughout the U.S.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
This comedian and Marine veteran also serves the community as a knowledgeable yoga instructor

Also Read: 6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

1. James P. Connolly

Before James was cracking up audiences with his flawless stand-up routine, he was giving orders while stationed at Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton. This former captain served in both Operation Desert Shield and Storm before exiting from the Corps.

Now, he performs wherever he can find work, but you follow him on his website JamesPConnolly.com.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
The evolution of James P. Connolly, from boy to man. (Banner art by Michelle Connolly Photography)

They will be here all week and don’t forget to tip your waiter.

Got any vets you think will make us laugh? Leave a comment.

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of June 16

Military memes are like digital morale, and we have collected the most potent 13 from this week for your pleasure.


1. Definitely going to get made fun of on the ship for that one (via Sh-t my LPO says).

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Gonna be especially tough when you get sent to different ships.

2. The Army does not know how to party (via ASMDSS).

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Soldiers do, but not the Army.

ALSO SEE: The US Navy might pull these old combat ships out of mothballs

3. In the end, only the DD-214 remains.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
At least you get to cover your truck in Eagles, Globes, and Anchors.

4. This is why socialized pay in the military is so weird:

(via Coast Guard Memes)

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Remember, future enlistees, E3 pay is E3 pay is E3 pay.

5. All this for a Camaro (via Team Non-Rec).

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
A Camaro you can’t even drive when you’re stuck out at sea.

6. Double points when they want to talk about morale (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops

7. “Keep on firing, buddy. I’m behind cover and my guardian angel is 3… 2… 1…” (via Weapons of Meme Destruction)

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
BOOM!

8. Peace. Out. (Via Lost in the Sauce)

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Find someone else to fight your war. I’m headed to college and stuff.

9. Turns out, the camouflage works better than anyone predicted (via Sh-t my LPO says).

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
This guy won the dirtbag, shammer, and hide and seek championships for this year. Triple crown!

10. All about the Benjamins, baby (via The Salty Soldier).

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
The answer is no. Thanks for the money.

11. Chiefs will avoid it at all costs (via Decelerate Your Life).

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
They’ll go so far as swim PT just to avoid it.

12. Just remember to bring something to use in exchange (via Decelerate Your Life).

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
The supply bubbas know how to get what’s theirs.

13. He can’t help you now, staff sergeant (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
College and the civilian job market don’t look so scary right before another NTC rotation.

Humor

6 reasons why troops hate going to supply

Heading to supply — also known as Central Issue Facility — is one of the worst experiences troops go through during their career.


The experience is like a bad a roller coaster ride of emotions all while getting treated like sh*t. Since most service members can’t do their jobs without the proper gear supporting their mission, they must go to supply to get those necessary materials.

There are countless stories out there about the hell many of us have gone through during a visit to supply.

Most of which aren’t positive.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Jonny Arsu-Afari inspects equipment from Capt. Bobb Rousseau. (Source: Army.mil)

Related: 14 images that humorously recall your first firefight

Check out our list of why troops hate going to supply.

1. Dealing with grumpy civilians

For the most part, heading to Central Issue Facility means you’re going to encounter a few civilians who may not be in the best of moods when you walk up to their counter. We’re not sure if they’re instructed to be d*cks or not, but it’s nearly impossible to put a smile on any one of their faces.


2. Long a** lines

Typically, from the moment you walked into the supply building, tensions are high. It’s not your fault. It’s just the way the military prefers it. Although you may have an appointment and you’re there on time — you can’t cut in front of anybody if there’s a long line (that’s not cool).

The long line might not be the civilian employee’s fault — for once. It could be because of a few new troops who are just freaking slow and holding everybody up.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. (Image via Giphy)

3. Getting used crap

Canteens and warming layers are just some of the items you’re going to be issued that someone else either drank from or wore — probably naked.

Enjoy. (Image via Giphy)

4. Out of pocket costs

In some cases, troops have to pay out-of-pocket costs to replace broken gear. CIF doesn’t care where or how the item was broken, they just want it back so they can re-issue it to someone else. You may have to pay for the item or locate a replacement.

Damn. (Image via Giphy)

5. Neither rank nor reputation matters here

Things commonly go wrong at supply for various reasons. Having a high rank on your collar or telling the supply worker a story of why an item isn’t up to standard won’t get you anywhere.

That’s why the majority of all CIF workers are civilians. Military rank has virtually no power once you enter the building.

It’s because they don’t care. (Image via Giphy)

6. Rejection

All you want to do is check in your gear so you can move on with your life, but you need supply’s signature to do so.

But guess what?

You have a small dirty spot on your canteen pouch, and they won’t let you complete your check-in until you clean it. Which means, no civilian life for you until they get everything back.

No one wants to see this. (Image via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.
Humor

7 of the top superpowers every Airman possesses

Look! It’s a bird! It’s a plane!


No, it’s just your local veteran Airman. Undoubtedly, this Airman can pull off some amazing feats, like going days and days without sleep, surviving endless attempts at Enlisted Performance Report sabotage, and pulling a reflective belt out of seemingly nowhere.

It’s true, every Airman leaves service with a certain set of special abilities. Below are 7 of the top superpowers that every Airman possesses.

Related: 7 of the top surprises veterans face going to school

7. Sleep? What is that?

Careers across all the branches require us to stretch our body’s limitations. Depending on the circumstance and specific requirements, different aspects of our selves are tested. One of the most common sacrifices, though, is sleep. Airmen quickly learn to operate on minimal sleep.

8 hours per night? Right.

In some cases, you’ll be lucky to get 4.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
12 hour shift, followed by PT… then an appointment… and another… then another 12 hour shift. (Image from How Stuff Works)

6. Turbo dieting

Physical fitness is definitely a part of military culture. In this regard, the Air Force is a bit later to the party than some of our older, more steeled brethren.

On any given morning on the posts of our older brothers, you’ll likely find a squad or two doing some type of PT. This is true on Air Force bases, too. Well, kinda.

You’re just as likely to see a squadron doing regular PT as you are to see a cardio room full of crash-dieting Airmen trying to prepare for their Air Force Physical Training test… which is next week.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Fat boy, fat boy, where you been? (Image from Warner Bros.’ Full Metal Jacket).

5. Built Ford tough

We are good and strong, for the most part. At least for a while.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Right? Right. (Image from New Line Cinema’s Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery)

4. “Grin and bear it” champions

There is a common misconception that Airmen are akin to teenagers: quick to talk back and rebel. There are kernels of truth in this, as there are in most myths.

In today’s Air Force, it is much easier to have your career cut off by a simple mistake. It really is a one-mistake Air Force.

You are constantly on edge, so if you value your time in uniform and want it to continue, you might have to eat a bit of humble pie.

Well, actually, a lot of humble pie.

Like, the whole pie.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Wanna stick around? Eat up, Airman!

3. Acronym deciphering specialty

The U.S. Air Force, like the rest of the military, has fallen in unabashed love with acronyms.

Living in this environment turns your mind into an acronym making and breaking beast.

It is totally possible to get an email with the title, “USAF USN TRNG CQB SF Amn in AETC.”

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Actual footage of higher up thinking up more acronyms. (Image from Warner Bros. Pictures’ Hangover Part III)

2. Adaptability

The only constant is change.

Every Airmen, Marine, Sailor, and Soldier know this. It is embedded into us, if not through instruction, then certainly through the swift and immediate changes of course we experience without much notice.

It really is sink or swim. Adapt or die.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Pff! Who’s afraid of a little change? (Image from Bold Films’ Nightcrawler)

Also related: 5 of the top excuses MPs hear during traffic stops

1. Selflessness

One of the USAF core values is “service before self.” That mentality will stay with you if it ever got through to you. Airmen will always put others and the big picture before self.

This is sometimes a detriment, but it’s a wonderful ability nonetheless.

popular

That time pirates mistook a Navy warship for a target

Remember when Somali pirates made headlines for seizing an oil tanker? That batch of Somali pirates was pretty smart. Others have managed to be very dumb. How dumb were they? Well, some pirates tried to hijack a pair of U.S. Navy warships.


 

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
An armed suspected pirate looks over the edge of a skiff, in international waters off the coast of Somalia. (U.S. Navy photo.)

According to a United States Navy release, on March 18, 2006, the Ticonderoga-class guided missile cruiser USS Cape St. George (CG 71) and the Arleigh Burke-class guided missile destroyer USS Gonzalez (DDG 66) were patrolling off the coast of Somalia as part of Task Force 150 to deter piracy. During their patrol, they were approached by a vessel towing a number of skiffs.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Confiscated weapons lay on the deck of guided missile cruiser USS Cape St. George (CG 71) following an early-morning engagement with suspected pirates. (U.S. Navy photo.)

A boarding party from the Gonzalez was sent to investigate, but noticed a number of people were brandishing rocket-propelled grenade launchers. The pirates on board the skiffs then opened fire on the Cape St. George, inflicting minor damage.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Evidence of small arms fire impact is visible on USS Cape St. George’s (CG 71) hull after suspected pirates opened fire on USS Gonzalez (DDG 66) and Cape St. George. (U.S. Navy photo.)

The Cape St. George and the Gonzalez, as well as the boarding party, proceeded to return fire, using what a contemporary CNN.com report described as “small arms.” The main pirate vessel was set afire and sank. Two smaller skiffs were captured, along with 12 pirates and one body. A Somali pirate group would claim that 27 “coast guardsmen” had been sent out.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
A suspected pirate vessel ignites in flames before burning to the waterline. (U.S. Navy photo)

The Virginian-Pilot reported that the wounded were first taken to the amphibious assault ship USS Nassau (LHA 4) for treatment. The pirates who survived this near-catastrophic failure in their victim-selection process were eventually released and repatriated back to Somalia.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Rocket propelled grenades (RPGs) and other armaments lay on the deck of USS Cape St. George (CG 71) after being confiscated during an early-morning engagement with suspected pirates. (U.S. Navy photo.)

Four years later, the guided-missile frigate USS Nicholas (FFG 47) also came under attack, according to a CBS News report. The BBC reported that five captured pirates were given life sentences for piracy.

Humor

5 of the best tips for surviving graveyard shifts

The sun is just about to set, the weather is cooling, and most of the base is either winding down or gearing up to let off steam following that long day of duty.


It’s 1700 and you’re prepping for your twelve-hour graveyard shift that starts in two hours. For some night owls, this shift and these hours are nearly perfect. For most, however, the graveyard presents the ultimate test of willpower: You vs. the Sandman.

Here are five of the very best tips for surviving a graveyard shift.

Related: 5 of the sneakiest ways people try to fool the front gate MPs

5. Caffeine

For as much caffeine as the average graveyard shift worker consumes, it is really a wonder that there hasn’t been some kind of corporate sponsorship put in place — or a blanket discount at the very least.

There’s a reason that so many Monster, Red Bull, Rockstar, etc. are found in gate shacks and patrol cars everywhere… they do what they’re supposed to do!

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
The base is protected by caffeine and defenders. (Image from Wikimedia Commons)

4. Push-ups (calisthenics)

Feeling a little sluggish after that mid-shift meal? Facing a sugar crash after pounding three Monsters before making it through a third of your shift? Taking heavy damage as the Sandman rains down haymakers from every angle?

Do some push-ups.

Getting the blood pumping is a surefire way to keep sleep at bay. Excitement can be hard to come by in the wee hours of the morning and you’re happily serving your country. A few sets of push-ups will give you a boost and help you make it to your second wind.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
For a bonus, grab a few of your also-tired comrades and have a party. (USMC photo by Cpl. Jacqueline Sanderfer)

3. Games

It’s not all doom and gloom at work, we can have fun… when appropriate. You’d be surprised how a couple of simple games, especially done in conjunction with duty, can make the night fly right on by.

Just make sure you’re taking care of your responsibilities and not doing anything that could remotely result in NJP and you’re golden.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Doing anything from this movie will get you NJP. (Image from Fox Searchlight’s Super Troopers)

2. Hide and seek

Unlike the previous point, this isn’t actually a game. This is all about taking advantage of how slow and quiet the base can be during a graveyard shift.

Do you job and stay out of the way.

Also Read: 5 of the top excuses MPs hear during traffic stops

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Just trying to make it through the night. (Image from Columbia Pictures’ Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2)

1. Read WATM

I mean, you’re already here. Check out some of our other content, maybe a few Mighty Minutes can help get you over the hump.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Might as well take a look around, right? (Pictured: WATM host, Shannon Corbeil)

Humor

7 female TV detectives who’d make badass drill instructors

Marine drill instructors go through some intense training to earn the military occupational specialty of 0911. With various tasks they have to complete on a daily basis, DIs have to be mentally and physically stronger than of those they train — consistently being on top of their game at all times and never letting anyone spot their flaws or weaknesses.


Despite what is typically a male-dominated world, no doubt these powerful female television characters could make badass drill instructors if they wanted to.

Related: 5 epic military movie mistakes

1. Olivia Benson (Law and Order – SVU)

Played by Mariska Hargitay, this strong female lead has the ability to look deep into your soul and break you down from the inside out — a natural talent that can’t be taught.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Source: Wikimedia Commons)

2. Catherine Willows (C.S.I)

Played by Marg Helgenberger, this super smart detective takes pride in her ability to take down the bad guys with her attention to detail and exceptional investigative skills. Her focus on the most minute details would be perfect for finding flaws in someone’s uniform on inspection day.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
(Source: CBS / Screenshot)

3. Brenda Leigh Johnson (The Closer)

Played by Kyra Sedgwick, this determined leader of the major crimes division of the LAPD has no issue offending her peers to get the job done — a perfect trait for a DI.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Always leading from the front. (Source TNT / Screenshot)

4. Jane Tennison (Prime Suspect)

Played by Helen Mirren, this brilliant sleuth is one the first female chief inspectors of London’s Metro Police Service who looks to drive herself up in the rank structure. She’s highly moto!

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
She means business and is in regs (Source: ITV)

5. Lydia Adams (Southland)

Played by Regina King, after years of working in some intense police situations, Adams’ passion for justice and her strong personality would have landed her in the right spot to scream at recruits to cover down and get in-line.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Armed and ready for action (Source: TNT)

6. Jane Rizzoli (Rizzoli Isles)

Played by Angie Harmon, a homicide detective who is known for her raspy voice and quick decision-making skills, Rizzoli would be perfect for playing f*ck-f*ck games with future Marines.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
She even knows proper trigger-finger placement before she’s prepared to fire. Outstanding! (Source: TNT )

7. Rosa Diaz (Brooklyn 9-9)

Played by Stephanie Beatriz, this detective is known for her stoic attitude and hard-hitting nature. Her strong physical stature allows her to bring down the hardened criminals in the rough streets of Brooklyn, making her a perfect candidate to shape up those recruits that will stand on the famous yellow footprints of MCRD.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Diaz takes no sh*t from anyone. (Source: FOX / Screenshot)

Also Read: 7 ways to prove your spouse is really a spy

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Humor

5 of the most challenging things you’ll face on deployment, outside of combat

Anyone about to deploy to a war zone needs to prepare for a number of things. Combat is fraught with danger and a scenario can go to sh*t at a moment’s notice. You genuinely don’t know what lurks around any corner while out on patrol.


Unfortunately, combat is just one of the many problems that service members face when deployed. Thankfully, the following aren’t quite as dangerous as a firefight.

Related: 7 things troops do on deployments that they won’t admit to

1. Mail drops

Receiving mail can be the life or death of a deployed troop. Not every package comes in perfect condition and, sometimes, what you get from back home can be upsetting.

No one wants to get a Dear John letter.

 

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Poor guy… Jody just stole his girl. (Screen Gems’ Dear John)

2. Language barriers

Typically, the countries we go to war with and work alongside don’t speak the best English. This creates conflict because American service members like to say curse words — and some of the foul language we use figuratively on a daily basis, they take literally.  Take the term “motherf*cker,” for instance. When our Afghan counterparts hear those words, they think we’re referring to actually nailing their mothers.

As you can imagine, that message isn’t well received.

3. Local food

When someone invites you to eat with them, it’s only polite that you do so. If you’re in a foreign country and you someone extends this gracious offer, you’d better accept.

However, good luck digesting all the spices and foreign methods of food prep.

4. Cultural misunderstandings

Americans have a unique way of living and so does the rest of the world. Some of the cultures we work with don’t want us looking at, or even talking to their women, no matter how benign the intent — and we have to respect that.

Despite the best intentions, there have been some cases in which various nations’ troops don’t comply with social rules. That’s when unnecessary conflict pops up.

Also Read: 9 things we miss from our Afghanistan deployments

5. Getting freakin’ sick

Allied troops get all kinds of vaccines to prevent local illnesses that may lurk. However, we don’t vaccinate for every type of viral infections and insect bite. No one wants to get sick while they’re back home, let alone while they’re deployed to a war zone.

9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops

Do Not Sell My Personal Information