5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant - We Are The Mighty
Humor

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Platoon sergeants aren’t there to be liked by the platoon, they’re there to make sure the platoon is prepared for every mission.


But, when a platoon sergeant gets along with their troops, it’s great for morale.

Personally, we think there’d no better person for the job than Wade Wilson, a.k.a Deadpool. Why?

Related: 6 DC comic heroes who served in the Army

1. He’s freaking hilarious

Platoon sergeants have a special talent for humor, almost as if they teach it at Infantry Unit Leaders Course. Deadpool has mastered the art like it’s his job.

 

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
He also has a dirty sense of humor.

 

2. Deadpool isn’t the “aye, sir” type

Deadpool bows to no one. Like any good platoon sergeant, if he disagrees with a higher-up, he says something about it — which means he would always fight for his guys.

The lower enlisted members of the platoon love platoon sergeants who are willing to fight on their behalf at the company office.

3. He’s always willing to joke around

Deadpool earned the title, “Merc with a mouth” by always finding the time to crack wise, using the previously-mentioned, professional-level sarcasm. This is a quality shared by the best platoon sergeants and adored by the lower enlisted members of their platoons.

 

4. He has no filter

When explaining to a higher-up that he disagrees with something, you know Deadpool won’t veil his point in metaphor — he’s going to be blunt and honest. And he’ll probably be absolutely hilarious in the process.

Also read: 6 differences between machine gunners and riflemen

5. Deadpool is nearly impossible to kill

Most platoon sergeants are seemingly bulletproof, but Deadpool actually bulletproof. If wounded, he can simply regenerate, making him an extremely hard target.

 

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
He can survive anything you throw or shoot at him… or stab or blow him up with. (Image from 20th Century Fox’s Deadpool)

Humor

10 of the funniest ‘Top Gun’ memes ever created

When Tony Scott’s Top Gun landed in cinemas, it was an instant blockbuster, pulling in over $350 million worldwide.


Filled with adrenaline-packed scenes, Top Gun made audience members of all ages want to be the next woman-chasing, hotshot pilot.

Little did everyone know, years down the line, the iconic movie would give rise to some pretty hilarious memes.

Related: 11 memes that will make any infantryman laugh for hours

1. Just when you thought you couldn’t find anyone to go to the bar and pick up chicks with, Maverick saves the day!

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
However, if she turns out to be a flight instructor, you better help him sing her a song.

2. As writers, we just want to entertain our audience the best we can.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
Well, we’ll try better on the next meme.

3. When a shirtless game of volleyball gets too real

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
Please, no more missiles or guns.

4. “Sky dick” jokes will never get old… at least we hope not.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Also Read: The 13 funniest military memes for the week of March 16th

5. It’s okay when Maverick does it, but for everyone else, it’s considered a bad thing.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

6. We hope every boring training instructor reads this before heading into a class.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
Nope. The powerpoint will still be boring. F*ck… we failed at getting the word out.

7. Top Gun 2 will come out… one day.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
Tom Cruise will still want to do his own stunts.

8. See! We told you Sky Dick jokes will never die!

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
It literally won’t ever get old. Our careers at WATM are counting on it.

Don’t Forget: 11 hilarious Marine memes that are freaking spot on

9. Proof Brian Williams was a veteran.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
We were way off!

10. Write this down in case you forget.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
Did you write it down? Because we don’t think you did.

Humor

Turns out, Osama bin Laden was a big fan of ‘Charlie Bit My Finger’

On Nov. 1, the CIA released a trove of files that former Al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden had on his computer at the time of his death, and among them are children’s programs like “Tom and Jerry,” crocheting instructions, and the 2007 viral YouTube video “Charlie Bit My Finger.”


Also read: The 5 weirdest books on Osama Bin Laden’s bookshelf

Although the majority of the documents, videos, images, and audio clips released by the CIA are related to bin Laden’s terror operations, some of the files are of a more benign nature. “Charlie Bit My Finger” appears under the file name “Tootin__Bathtub_Baby_Cousins.flv,” alongside numerous clips of the cartoon “Tom and Jerry” and Jackie Chan films. There are also instructions for crocheting butterflies, socks, and baskets.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
Osama (left) and his son, Hamza bin Laden. Screengrab from YouTube.

The presence of so much children’s content can be explained by the fact that bin Laden was living with his family in the secret compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, where he was killed by US Navy Seal Team 6 in May 2011. Some of the videos in the files released by the CIA — like songs designed for children learning English — raise the possibility that bin Laden was schooling his children from the compound while he was in hiding.

Notably, the CIA decided not to release bin Laden’s large pornography stash in the Nov. 1 file dump.

Articles

9 things you should know before becoming a Marine infantry officer

We’ve all seen Marine officer recruiting videos either on TV, on our mobile devices, or posted on a billboard next to the highway. For many, the video’s imagery, music, and testimonials cause young minds to consider joining the Corps — for one reason or another.


The video states what you’re going to learn and what awesome prospects lay ahead. Those who attend and complete the training can move on and serve in the Marine Infantry if that’s the path the individual has set for himself.

But what the training book doesn’t teach you is the role outside of the technical. Life in the Marines as an officer is a proud one, but it’s also stressful.

We sat down with our resident Marine infantry officer Chase Millsap and discussed what you should know before taking on the vital leadership role.

1. Your primary weapon is the field radio

It’s your job as a leader to organize your Marines while taking contact. Knowing how to use your radio to instruct your Marines and coordinate supporting arms is paramount.

Not that type of radio Jean-Claude. (Image via Giphy)

2. You will always eat last

In the Marines, enlisted Leathernecks get to eat their chow before anyone else, which means officers are always at the end of the line.

It’s tradition. (Images via Giphy)

3. You will almost always be the least experienced person starting day one

Everyone has to start out somewhere (unless you’re prior enlisted). Listen and learn as quickly as you can.

No doubt you’ll be motivated the first day though. (Images via Giphy)

4. Physical fitness isn’t optional

The minimum PT score is 300 — just saying. And you’d better never, ever let that squad leader beat you on a unit run.

None of those count, sir. (Images via Giphy)

5. Pony up the big bucks to take care of your grunts

We’re not suggesting you buy everyone in your platoon houses — that’s crazy talk. We mean forking out cash for cigarettes, rip its and dip. It will boost your unit’s morale.

Goodbye hard earned cash. (Images via Giphy)

6. You don’t have to be nice.

But you do need to be fair.

That’s hilarious but it’s so mean. (Images via Giphy)

7. You better know why you’re giving those orders

Having the power to give a Marine an order is a big deal. So you need to be sure that it’s well thought out ahead of time.

Sounds serious. (Images via Giphy)

8. Read these three books

Attacks” by Erwin Rommel, “Fields of fire” by Jim Webb, and “One Bullet Away” by Nate Fick. That is all.

Highlight everything. (Images via Giphy)

9. Most importantly: it’s not about you

It’s about taking care of your Marines.

That look you give when you’re told something you don’t want to hear. (Images via Giphy)

Humor

This video answers the question of the casualty radius of Mattis’ knife hand

General James “Mad Dog” Mattis is known for many things, including outstanding leadership, delivering motivational quotes and demonstrating perfectly executed knife hands.


Mattis entered in the Marine Corps in 1969 and attended Central Washington University as part of the ROTC program.

Working his way up the ranks, Mattis oversaw a Marine recruiting station in Portland, led the historic 1st Marine Division into Iraq in 2003, held the position of commander of the United States Central Command since 2010, and served under the Trump administration as the 26th Secretary of Defense until 2019.

Having served nearly his entire 41-year military journey in a position of leadership, he’s had to answer all sorts of tough questions.

Check out the Marine Corps‘ video as the legend himself answers the most important question of his career. What’s the kill radius of his knife-hand?

(United States Marine Corps, YouTube)
Humor

11 sniper memes that will make you laugh for hours

Trained snipers are some of the most dangerous warfighters ever to hit the battlefield. The history books have been inked with the legends of the most talented, deadliest snipers. Their methodical, near-surgical approach is the stuff of nightmares for the enemy and many live in constant fear of being placed in their crosshairs.

Snipers will lay still for hours as they stalk their target, waiting for that perfect shot. When you look through a scope for hours at a time, it’s hard not to entertain your brain by coming up with some dark humor. So, we’re here to show the world the humorous side of snipers.


5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

(Navymemes.com)

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
Humor

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of Dec. 15

It’s been only seven days since our last meme call, and…where do we even begin?


Army beats Navy. Trans troops get the green light. We have a new NDAA for 2018 — no one cares about any of that. The real Star Wars Day is today.

Celebrate with memes. These memes.

1. He can’t name drop PJs and JTACs like the rest of the Air Force does when Marines make fun.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
Let’s be honest, he looks Air Force.

2. But suffering leads to a lobbying job. (via Coast Guard Memes)

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
This is how icebreakers get made.

3. “Look at how shiny those floors are.”

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
Also, how do you pee in that armor?

4. I didn’t know Meth came from fabric softener.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
Ewoks should use Snuggle on their fur instead of drinking it.

5. New Yorkers aren’t like the rest of us.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
Terrorism fail.

6. Basic training is the hydroelectric dam.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
Who needs fusion when you have every day life?

7. “Things you’ll never actually say to an E-7” for $100.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
There’s a reason dude got choked out.

8. It’s not the worst grouping. (via Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said)

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
But you’d still be dead. Or unqualified.

9. No passes in the Army-Navy Game, just like in real life. (via Decelerate Your Life)

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
To be fair it’s usually the Coast Guard chasing little white lines.

10. I was more of a Han Solo fan until this.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
Majestic reveal.

11. Your girl knows.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
You know he has one.

12. It doesn’t show the NCO school on Dagobah.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
Life is pain.

13. Who’s in the Christmas spirit?

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Humor

11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman

Every day, Hospital Corpsman encounter challenges and surprises they just can’t predict. Whether they’re stationed with the Marines, working sick call in a hospital, or sitting behind a desk handling necessary paperwork — it can get hard out there for a Doc.


But one thing that never changes is their comedic outlook and perspective on how they see the world around them.

Related: 6 things Corpsmen should know before going to the ‘Greenside’

So check out these 11 memes that are way too real for every Corpsman.

1. Directions are hard

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

2. Because that’s the only military story they have

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

3. We don’t like that

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

4. Because a Doc takes care of his Marines

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

5. So true!

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

6. Since there’s no time to study because you’re always in the field, just passing the advancement test is a blessing

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

7. The silver bullet also has a healing ability

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Also read: 4 unusual tasks Corpsmen do that their recruiters left out

8. They will totally laugh in your face

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

9. It’s called “patient poaching” and it’s not cool

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

10. We have a big job to do and not a lot to do it with

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

11. Fun fact: Marines love their Corpsmen … if they’re not sh*t bags

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Humor

6 ways to make the most of your urinalysis

One of the most uncomfortable things for everyone involved is a urinalysis. Unfortunately, it’s an integral part of how the military tracks the health and welfare of its troops and ensures that no illicit substances damage unit integrity.

Take it from us, the only way to make peeing in a cup while your NCO watches less uncomfortable for you is to actively make them more uncomfortable. Now, this shouldn’t be too hard because nobody wants to be there in the first place, but we’ve got some pro-tips for you.


Some advice, though: If you’re a guy, don’t make size jokes. You’re just setting yourself for a slam like the one in Jarhead.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

This one only works if you have time to prepare.

(Courtesy Photo)

Eat nothing but beets and asparagus

Fun fact: Eating a bunch of beets turns your pee a bright red color. You’ll probably fool someone into thinking you’ve got medical issues with this trick. Also, asparagus makes your piss smell nasty and unpleasant if you’re looking to make things that much worse.

If you know a urinalysis test in in your future, like after block leave, try it.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Ask for some soothing music

Seriously, the observer doesn’t have any desire to be there either, so they’ll do whatever is necessary to speed up the process. Usually, they’ll turn on a faucet to help get you going. Soothing music wouldn’t seem like an unreasonable request.

That’s when you say, “now I’m in the mood! Let’s do this!”

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

If they aren’t paying attention, mess with them.

The observer’s job is to ensure that the urine leaves the body. If they’re giving you privacy, they’re doing it wrong.

Keep them on their toes and say, “You wanted a stool sample, right?” Or the classic, “I can’t do this without any magazines…”

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Don’t break eye contact

A steady stream of eye contact is sure to make everyone involved very uncomfortable.

Get butt-naked to pee

Technically, the observer is supposed to make sure you’re not using a prosthetic. Yep, that’s right, because that’s a thing that dumb-f*cks have tried to get away with.

So, be extra helpful and make sure there’s no possibility that you’re using a fake by stripping all the way down.

“Stumble” while holding the filled cup in your hand

Just because you’ve finished the act doesn’t mean you have to stop messing with others.

If you pretend like you’re about to trip, everyone’s eyes will jolt open out of fear. You should be clumsier than infomercial people.

Humor

Our 10 favorite April Fools’ memes

It’s a holiday that dates back hundreds of years. As France switched to the modern Gregorian calendar in 1563, not everyone got the memo. Those who didn’t change systems in a timely manner celebrated the New Year, as they didn’t know it’d been changed to January 1. These people were called “April fools,” who were often marked with placing a paper fish on their back. This symbolized “an easily caught fish” and were also called “April fish.” The former stuck and turned into an entire day for pranks and jokes. 

At least, that’s how one set of historical records tell us about the holiday’s past. 

Love or hate this controversial holiday, it’s happening all-the-same. Be sure to put your thinking cap on before leaving the house this upcoming Wednesday and question all who cross your path. Or better yet, just work from home if at all possible. 

In the meantime, here are some of our favorite April Fools memes:  

  1. First off, get the date straight
5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Keep your game face on all day long. 

2. Or better yet, this face

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

We’ll call this “skeptical face.” 

3. And this line of thinking

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Even logical statements are not to be trusted.

4. Have pity for those whose jokes just don’t land

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Bless their hearts.

5. Mean jokes are the worst

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

But that won’t stop anyone from thinking they are funny.

6. And good luck to those joke haters out there

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Just smile and nod.

7. Remember it’s also a real day with real celebrations

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

HBD?

8. Don’t forget to laugh at yourself

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Hopefully others are laughing with you, not at you.

9. Don’t forget to take a chance

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

It’s an easy out.

10. Finally, when it’s over

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Good luck out there. 

Humor

6 things every boot should know before going to supply

Heading to supply, also known as Central Issue Facility, is one of the worst experiences troops go through during their career.


It’s a lot like riding a bad rollercoaster ride of emotions — all while getting treated like sh*t. Since most service members can’t do their jobs without the proper gear to support their mission, they must go to supply to get those necessary materials.

There are countless stories out there about the hell many of us endure during a visit to supply — most of which aren’t positive.

Related: 12 images that perfectly recall checking into your unit for the first time

Check out the six things every boot should know before heading to supply

6. The gear won’t be as clean or new as you’d expect

When you show up, a civilian worker will quickly maneuver you around the massive aisles while tossing various items into your cart. Typically, you don’t know the names of all the stuff that gets thrown in, but just know that somebody before you probably drank out of that canteen or slept in your woobie.

It almost feels like wearing used underwear.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
You’re going to get issued this woobie next. We guarantee it.

5. It’s going to take a long time

Supply is a busy place, which makes sense considering that all troops need support. So, once you show up there, don’t expect them to be waiting for you with a red carpet rolled out.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
You’ll do exactly as the size suggests.

4. You’ll feel like you’re back in boot camp all over again

You’re going to be treated like sh*t. The workers at supply want to get you in and out as fast as possible. The first time you have a brain fart — as you did in boot camp — standby for them to start treating you like the boot you are to get you out faster.

We’ve seen staff NCOs get spoken to as if it were their first day on the job.

3. They run on civilian time

Many supply and CIF offices open a little past their scheduled hours and they’ll often cut off services just shy of when they’re supposed to close to ensure they get home on time.

You’re not supposed to close for another fifteen minutes! (Image via GIPHY)

2. Keep your all paperwork/receipts

Guess what? The supply office usually keeps pretty good records of everything that goes out since they barcode the majority of their inventory. If their paperwork says you received a piece of gear, but you claim that’s not true, you better have the hard evidence to back it up.

Unless you can prove it via your paperwork, you’re liable for everything.

Also Read: 6 ways to avoid being ‘that guy’ in your unit

1. You don’t own anything you’re issued

Supply gives out this gear temporarily. Once your mission is over, you’ll need it return it in nearly the same condition as you received it. If you don’t, you’re looking at having to replace the item or paying for it out of pocket.

So, don’t grow too attached to anything.

Get a room you two. (Image via GIPHY)
Humor

8 reasons why everyone knows you were in the military

It’s more than a Grunt Style t-shirt, those awful Oakleys, or an American flag ball cap — you know, the one with the IR patch on the front? People don’t need to hear you ask if there’s a veteran’s discount or relate everything back to how your old unit did things.

People can tell you were in the military — just by looking at you.


5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Zulu foxtrot.

8. The way you stand.

Some call it “command presence” while others call it “closed body language.” No matter what you call it, you stand there with your arms crossed, feet planted beneath your shoulders, and shoulders slightly hunched – you’re in a power stance: a military power stance. How better to show someone you’re frosty, collected, and listening to them than looking like you’re leaning on a pole without actually doing it.

You may have started the conversation with his hands on his hips, thumbs through belt loops.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

“Your party called ahead. What now, POG?”

7. You are always 15 minutes early to everything.

People will figure out that if you aren’t 15 minutes early, you consider yourself late. Especially since you’ll call them to let them know… meanwhile, they haven’t even left their house yet.

For civilians, this works out because you’ll always be at a restaurant to put the group on the waiting list for a table. They will use this to their full advantage.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

When you find out Yogurtland has froyo in Sea Salt Caramel.

6. You move fast.

It doesn’t matter if you actually have to be anywhere at a certain time, you move with a sense of urgency, a sense of purpose. You know that Pinkberry will still be there no matter when you arrive, but you still approach the cinnamon churro froyo like T-1000 chasing John Connor.

5. Your haircut.

This is a dead giveaway. Why would anyone on Earth willingly subject their head to the high and tight (or worse, the flattop) unless they were forced to keep it that way at some point? I’m pretty sure the coiffure equivalent of Stockholm Syndrome takes hold in TAPS class.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Like standing at parade rest for pizza.

4. You stand at parade rest for bizarre reasons.

Ever catch yourself staring out into the distance, perhaps over a lake at sunset, only to have an older guy tell you to “stop standing at parade rest for the goddamned lake, boot.” It’s a sign of respect for those above you and, after spending so long as an E-3, just a comfortable position to put yourself in.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

Stand like you’re wearing a cavalry hat while meeting a foreign head of state.

3. Your ramrod-straight posture.

You stand tall. We all do. That’s not going to stop just because we stopped wearing a uniform.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

It’s like they drilled it into you or something.

2. You walk with coordinated arm swings.

Have you ever noticed yourself walking down the street with your right arm perfectly in sync with your left leg and vice versa? That’s not an accident. You had all those military marches and facing movements drilled into you. They’re going to hang around for a while.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant

1. You eat so fast, people wonder if you ever taste food.

Appetizers, dinners, desserts — all gone in the blink of an eye. Wouldn’t it be great if you could slow down and enjoy the flavors of life? Well, you can’t. This is because you’re probably worried that, if you do, your stripper ex-wife will take that, too.

popular

4 insane things service members can do to stay awake

Not all deployments are created equal. Some troops primarily work at a desk performing critical operational tasks, while others are out and about undertaking various missions in the bush. Regardless, both schedules usually consist of long hours and a heavy workload which can run anybody down.


No matter the nature of the mission, staying in the fight and being alert is the key for any personnel deployed.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
Cpl Daniel, a fire team leader, 1st Squad, 2nd Platoon, Alpha Company, 1st Battalion, 8th Marines, posts security while members of the Afghan Narcotics Interdiction Unit search a compound during Operation Speargun in Urmuz, Afghanistan (USMC photo)

So if you’re worried about falling asleep when you need to be at your best, check out these simple tricks of the trade to stay awake whole on deployment.


 

1. Bangin energy drinks

May seem obvious to the average population that drinking a Redbull or pounding a Monster will get their minds firing on all cylinders. But in most cases, deployed troops just don’t sip a single energy drink — they take it to a whole new level by chugging multiple cans of the all mighty Rip-it.

Splashing water on your face works well too — but that’s no fun.

US Army photo

2. Coffee lip

One ration the military never seems to ever run off of is coffee.

When you’re occupying a patrol base or sitting in a fighting hole, coffee machines will be scarce. So instead of filtering water through the grounds, pack a solid pinch of instant coffee from the ole handy dandy MREs into your lip. It tastes like sh*t, but it can help you keep shuteye at bay.

stay awake
US Army photo

3. “Spicy eyes”

This doesn’t refer to “the look” that civilian reporter who came by the FOB to interview the colonel gave everyone. It means sprinkling a small amount of Tabasco sauce onto your finger and rubbing the contents under your eyes. Spicy!

If it burns a little and wakes you back up, you’re doing it right.

5 reasons Deadpool would make an amazing platoon sergeant
US Army photo

4. Pain

There’s nothing worse than drifting off while on post.

In fact, if you get caught sleeping, that’s a crucial offense. The human body has a natural way of rejuvenating itself by excreting adrenaline into the blood stream. You can accomplish this by pinching yourself, or if that doesn’t work, delivering a light love tap across your cheek.

It might seem a bit extreme, but it could also save your life and the lives of your comrades.

Can you think of any others? Comment below.


Feature image: U.S. Air Force Photo/Airman 1st Class Charles Dickens

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