7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment - We Are The Mighty
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7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment

Spending the better part of a year on a deployment 3,000 miles away from home is hard for anyone and can feel like an eternity.


On the ride home, many vets think about the first thing they’re going to do when they return, like biting into a perfectly-grilled cheeseburger, getting a good night’s sleep in their own bed or taking a long hot shower.

Aside from those iconic ones, here are a few things you could do to welcome back your spouse and make his or her homecoming a glorious affair.

1. Bring unexpected family members

Consider bringing man’s best friend along — the one who walks on four legs and thinks his returning buddy is king. There’s nothing better than the welcoming face of a faithful pup after a long time apart. Returning home is an emotional time for everybody, so why not bring everyone?

2. Bring tobacco

Puffing a fresh cigarette or packing your lip with a fresh pinch of dip can make a world of difference for someone who spent that last 13 hours on a plane and is itching for a hit of nicotine.

Sure, this isn’t the healthiest gift. But it could make your loved one do a celebration dance when they’re packing a freshie.

3. Bring a cold beer (or beers)

General Order #1A prohibits service members from drinking alcohol while deployed — and it’s rarely lifted.

It’s a known fact when you want something bad and can’t have it, you want it even more. Heineken, Corona, or PBR are just some of the popular choices sold at the local base PX.

Letting your spouse toast a few with his or her buddies for a job well done is a great and inexpensive way to close out a stressful deployment.

4. Have an escape plan checklist

Unfortunately, it’s not always a situation where your loved one can just walk off the plane and go straight home — there’s always a list of “to-dos” before he can pull chocks. So make sure your spouse has a get-home-quick plan so those logistics hurdles don’t get in the way of a quick trip to the casa.

  • Find the family, hug it out and take a quick photo.
  • Mark your seabag and other baggage so the kids can spot and retrieve it while you drop off your weapon at the armory.
  • Meet at the car and load up.
  • Find the nearest exit gate with the least outgoing traffic.
  • AND GO!!!

5. Have a clean house

Being cramped into a small bunk on a ship or sleeping on a narrow cot in a dusty tent takes its toll. Entering a cleaned up and tidy house — even a modest one — can feel like you just walked into a newly designed multi-million dollar mansion.

6. Make a home-cooked meal

Some military installations have better chow halls than others. And a lot of deployed personnel had to make due with eating MREs or C-rations three times a day, which are tough to stomach over a long deployment.

So there’s nothing like sitting down at the table with your family over a perfectly cooked steak with all the fixings.

7. Bring a change of clothes

After months of doing laundry in a bucket, having some fresh clean clothes that don’t have a last name stitched above the pocket is a step in the right direction when trying to return to normal.

Can you think of any others? Comment below

Articles

8 weird ‘off-the-books’ traditions in the US military

The U.S. military is awash in regulations, laws, and official traditions. How troops march and salute, what uniform to wear to what event, or what you are supposed to say when greeting a superior are all examples of “on-the-books” behaviors expected of service members.


And then there are the “off-the-books” traditions. They are the unwritten rules: traditions that go back way before the books were printed. These activities — especially the ones involving hazing — are often frowned upon, but still continue to happen, usually without any official recognition.

Here are eight examples.

1. Fighter pilots (or members of flight crew) get hosed down after their final flight.

The “fighter pilot mafia” is definitely a thing in the Air Force and Navy, which is the nickname for the pilot sub-culture within each service. Soon after aviators get to a new unit they will go through an unofficial ceremony of receiving their callsigns, and they usually are not very flattering.

On the flip side is the final flight. Much like a football coach gets a giant cooler of Gatorade dumped over their head at the end of a game, pilots sometimes will get hosed down with water by their comrades. In some cases, they’ll be doused with champagne.

In the case of Maj. Vecchione (shown below), his peers also threw string cheese, flour, and mayonnaise on him. Personally, I would’ve thrown in some ketchup and mustard, but hell, I wasn’t there.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment

2. At a military wedding with a sword detail, the wife gets a sword-tap to her booty to “welcome her” to the family.

Nothing like a little tradition that allows some dude to tap your brand new wife on the butt. When a service member wants to go through the pageantry of having a “military wedding” — wearing their uniform at the altar and bringing along a sword detail — they can expect that at the end of it all, some random dude will be sexually harassing his wife for the sake of tradition.

It goes like this: On the way out right after the ceremony, the couple passes over an arch of swords on both sides. They go through, kiss, go through, kiss, then they get to the last one. Once they reach the final two and pass, one of the detail will lower their sword, tap the bride, and say “welcome to the Army [or Marine Corps, etc]!”

Here’s the Navy version:

3. When a Navy ship crosses the equator, sailors perform the “crossing the line” ceremony, which frankly, involves a lot of really weird stuff.

The Crossing the Line ceremony goes far back to the days of wooden ships. According to this Navy public affairs story, sailors were put through this hazing ritual designed to test whether they could endure their first time out at sea.

These days, sailors crossing the line for the first time — called Pollywogs or Wogs for short — can expect an initiation into the club of those who have done it before, referred to as Shellbacks. During the two-day event, the “Court of Neptune” inducts the Wogs into “the mysteries of the deep” with activities like having men dress up as women, drink stuff like a wonderful mix of hot sauce and aftershave, or make them crawl on their hands and knees in deference to King Neptune. I swear I’m not making any of this up.

In the modern military that is decidedly against hazing rituals, the events have toned down quite a bit. In 1972 a sailor may have expected to be kissing the “Royal Baby’s belly button,” which again, is totally a real thing.

Nowadays however, there’s much less of that sort of thing, and the Navy stresses that it’s all completely voluntary (ask any sailor, however, and they’ll probably tell you it’s “voluntary” with big air quotes).

shellback ceremony Photo: Wikimedia Commons

4. Before going on deployment, Marine infantrymen who have never deployed need to shave their heads.

Don’t ask me where this unwritten rule came from or why — other than to distinguish who the total boots in the platoon were — but Marine grunts who have never done a deployment are often told to shave their heads before they move out.

Again, this is one of those “voluntary” you-don’t-have-to-do-this-if-you-don’t-want-to kind of things, but there were 3 guys in my platoon who decided to keep their hair before deploying to Okinawa in 2003. Interestingly enough, they were put on plenty of cleanup details and other not-so-fun jobs as a result.

5. When achieving the next rank or earning parachute wings or other insignia, a service member may get “blood-pinned,” though it’s rare these days.

Soldiers who get through five successful jumps at Airborne School in the past could expect to get “blood wings,” but that practice has died down in recent years as the public has learned of it. After a superior pinned their wings on, a soldier would get their new badge slammed into their chest, which often draws blood.

This kind of thing is frowned upon — and prohibited under military regulations — but it still sometimes happens. In some cases, it’s considered a rite of passage and kind of an honor. I personally endured pinning ceremonies that I volunteered for when I picked up the ranks of lance corporal and corporal.

Volunteer or not, it’s a ritual which the brass has endured plenty of bad press over, so they tend to discipline anyone involved whenever it happens.

6. Some units have mustache-growing contests in training or on deployment to see who can achieve the most terrible-looking ‘stache.

The military regulations on facial hair offer little in the way of good looking when it comes to shaves. Most men are not allowed to grow beards (except for some special operators) and although they are allowed, mustaches are generally frowned upon. Why they are frowned upon usually comes down to how terrible they often look.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: MCB Hawaii

Don’t expect any mustache greatness ala Rollie Fingers; troops usually have to keep the mustache neatly trimmed within the corners of their mouth. Those regulations give way to the terribleness derived from the “CAX ‘stache,” which is what Marines refer to as the weird-looking Hitler-like mustache they’ll grow out while training at 29 Palms.

These contests sometimes extend overseas, especially when junior troops are away from the watchful eyes of their senior enlisted leaders. But whenever the sergeant major is around, you might want to police that moostache.

7. First-year West Point cadets have a giant pillow fight to blow off steam after the summer is over.

Before they become the gun-toting leaders of men within the United States Army, first year cadets are beating the crap out of each with pillows in the school’s main courtyard. The annual event is organized by the students and has occurred since at least 1897, according to The New York Times.

While it’s supposed to be a light-hearted event featuring fluffy pillows filled with things that are, you know, soft, some [blue falcon] cadets have decided to turn the event bloody in recent years. One first-year cadet told The Times in September: “The goal was to have fun, and it ended up some guys just chose to hurt people.”

That quote came from a story that broke months ago after the “fun” pillow fight ended with at least 30 cadets requiring medical attention, 24 of which were concussions.

8. Naval Academy midshipmen climb a lard-covered monument for a hat.

Around the same time that first-year West Point cadets are beating each other and causing concussions, 1,000 screaming Navy midshipmen are charging toward a 21-foot monument covered in lard with a hat on top. The goal: Retrieve the first-year “plebe” hat and replace it with an upperclassmen hat, a task which signifies their transition to their next year at the Academy.

Beforehand, upperclassmen hook up the plebes with about 200 pounds of greasy lard slapped on the sides of the Herndon Monument, making their task a bit more difficult. They need to use teamwork and dedication to climb their way to the top, which can take anywhere from minutes to over four hours (Class of 1995 has the longest time 4 hours, 5 minutes).

According to the Academy’s website, the tradition is that the first guy to make it to the top will likely rise to the rank of admiral first. That is if he or she doesn’t get themselves fired first.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment

Articles

4 military fails so awful they’re actually hilarious

1. That one time the Australian Army fought a bunch of emus … and lost

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Pretty intimidating, no? Photo: Flickr


Australia’s known for being a pretty badass country — a worthy reputation when your nation is populated by a bunch of outlaws on one of the world’s harshest continents. What Australia doesn’t want you to know, however, is that in between all that crocodile-wrangling and kangaroo-eating, it got its butt kicked once by a bunch of flightless birds.

The year was 1932. Australian farmers were struggling to save their wheat crops from a fierce, egg-laying pack of scavengers that had migrated into the area. And we’re not talking a pesky flock of chickens, either. This was a battalion of 20,000 emus.

Being Australian, the farmers figured they could probably take out these birds themselves. That plan quickly failed, since there were simply too many birds to handle, though one does wonder how they attempted to solve the problem in the first place (maybe some vegemite traps?).

Regardless, the crops were failing and it was decided reinforcements were necessary. Enter the Royal Australian Artillery. Major G.P.W. Meredith led two regiments of machine-gun wielding Australian soldiers against the bird infestation, figuring the issue would be taken care of in a few days.

He was wrong.

The emus proved wilier than expected. They dodged bullets with shocking finesse, weaving in and out of troops and scattering into the brush before they could be herded together. Many of the birds that were hit still got away — whether because of their dense feathers or sheer force of will, they would not not bend to the Aussie military.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
These guys don’t mess around. Photo: unrealfacts.com

Meredith decided to up the ante, organizing a surprise ambush near a dam where 1,000 emus were gathered unawares. This failed as well. Ego bruised, Meredith decided that the only way to destroy an army of demon emus is to do it yourself. In what no doubt would have made a soul-stirring slow-motion montage, Meredith climbed in the back of a truck and manned its machine gun, firing at the birds as he sped beside them.

The emus outran the truck, leading it through terrain so uneven and wild that the vehicle ended up crashing through a fence in its pursuit. As the emus disappeared into the sunset, the AA had no choice but to accept defeat.

According to Scientific American, Dr. Murray Johnson’s entries in Journal of Australian Studies reflect Australia’s humorous response to the skirmish:

“On 8 November, it was reported that Major Meredith’s party had used 2,500 rounds of ammunition – twenty-five per cent of the allotted total – to destroy 200 emus,” says Johnson. “When one New South Wales state Labor politician inquired whether ‘a medal was to be struck for those taking part in this war’, his federal counterpart in Western Australia, responded that they should rightly go to the emus who ‘have won every round so far’.”

In the end, less than 1,000 of the 20,000 emus were killed, and the farmers were left to weep over their wheat and gather an army of wallabies to fight back. Totally kidding — the government decided to cut out the middleman and give the farmers the ammunition they needed to finally fry the birds, taking the lives of 57,034 emus and restoring peace once and for all.

2. The time Japan deployed a new battleship and flooded Nagasaki

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
There’s no flooding, just go about your business… Photo: Getty Images

The saying “bigger is better” is traditionally an American mantra, but the Japanese Navy tried it on for size in 1940, and the results were pretty hilarious.

Not yet at war with the United States, Japan still wanted to assert military dominance. The plan? Build the biggest battleship it had ever commissioned, and call it the Musashi.

Now, Japan understood that an incredibly large battleship would not be impressive unless it was also outfitted with incredibly large weapons. To remedy this, the Japanese Navy decked out the Musashi with the best of the best. Amongst the weapons on board were cannons that could fire 18-inch shells over 26 miles and 9×450 mm guns — stats that were impressive for any military at the time.

What Japan did not take into account, apparently, was how much this thing would weigh. When the Japanese Navy joyously deployed the ship into the sea, the mammoth watercraft displaced so much water (63,000 tons) it caused a four foot high tidal wave, flooding the riverbank homes of Nagasaki and totally killing the mood.

The Musashi‘s wake capsized nearly all of the ships in the surrounding harbor, and did some serious damage to the shops and houses closest to the water’s edge. Frightened citizens rushed into the streets as water poured through their doors, completely bewildered by the source of the flooding.

They were quickly urged back inside their water-sogged homes by the Imperial Navy, which was too embarrassed to tell the people of Nagasaki what had actually gone down. It makes you wonder what they did blame it on…

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: Flickr

3. A pilot ejects from his plane and watches it fly itself

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment

Sometimes in life, things go incredibly wrong. And other times, they just go incredibly weird. 1st Lt. Gary Foust was preparing for the first scenario during a test flight in 1970, when his fighter jet began an uncontrollable flat spin. After struggling to regain control of the F-106 interceptor jet for a few moments, he did the smart thing and pressed the eject button 8,000 feet above the ground.

Or … he thought it was the smart thing. Once his chute deployed and buoyed him up in the air, Foust looked down towards the ground, expecting his plane to light up like the Fourth of July upon impact. What he saw instead was his plane cruising along, as if the spin had never happened and it was being piloted by a very casual, aircraft-savvy ghost.

One of Foust’s wingmen, Maj. Jim Lowe reportedly shouted over the radio “Gary, you better get back in it!” But Gary could not get back in. All he could do was watch with wonder as his plane flew itself in a straight line before landing gently in a snow-covered wheat field.

When police arrived on the scene, the F-106’s engine was still running. Wary of whatever had possessed this thing, the Air Force suggest the cops wait until the plane ran out of fuel, rather than attempt shutting it off. It took a while.

When the plane finally breathed its last it was collected and repaired by the Air Force, and eventually returned to active service. Freaky.

Check out the video below to hear Foust recount the events of that day:

4. Helicopter pilots nosedive into Lake Tahoe for a Facebook pic

Back in 2010, two presumably experienced and level-headed pilots from Helicopter Maritime Strike Squadron 41 (HSM-41) were flying MH-6OR helicopters over Lake Tahoe. Everything appeared to be normal, when suddenly one of the aircrafts took a dip in the water, like a pelican trying to nab a fish.

Civilian witnesses caught the whole thing on video, and everyone wondered what the heck was going on. Had the engine failed? Were they trying to practice a mock search and rescue mission? The women in the video below seem to think its some sort of elaborate training exercise:

The answer is no. The pilots had the $33 million chopper surface-hover incredibly low over the water to try and get a cool profile picture for their squad’s Facebook page. And no, we’re not kidding.

The pilots allegedly took their hands off the controls to snap photos of one another flying the choppers. Then one helicopter began to plummet through the air, quickly losing altitude and skimming the water. The pilot was able to regain control and bring the chopper back up out of the water, but the stunt cost a cool half-a-million dollars worth in damages to the electronic flying antenna and other expensive equipment.

When they returned to base, the unnamed pair immediately lost flight status — shocker. Let it be a lesson to us all to not do it for the Vine, or the Facebook profile picture.

NOW: 4 amazing military stories that should totally be movies

OR: The 6 scariest military vehicles of WWI and WWII

Articles

The Amazing History Of US Navy Battleships In 19 Photos

Naval historians still argue about the legacy of the battleship. Critics call them too vulnerable and too expensive, while supporters laud their sheer offensive capability and awesome firepower.  Whatever the opinions, the battleship will always have an important place in U.S. military history.  Here are 19 pictures that show why:


 

The “Great White Fleet,” sent around the world by President Theodore Roosevelt from 16 December 1907 to 22 February 1909, consisted of sixteen new battleships of the Atlantic Fleet. The fourteen-month long voyage was a grand pageant of American sea power.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment

 

One of the Great White Fleet’s Connecticut-class battleships at Villefranche, France, circa January 1909. This ship is either USS Vermont (Battleship No. 20) or USS Minnesota (Battleship No. 22).

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
(Photo: U.S. Naval Historical Center)

 

“Crossing the line” ceremony as the Great White Fleet crosses the Equator, turning “Pollywogs” into “Shellbacks.”

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
(Photo: U.S. Navy Historical Center)

The bridge of the USS Connecticut circa 1908. Note the ship’s name in lights.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
(Photo: U.S. Navy Historical Center)

 

Officers sporting ceremonial attire about the USS Connecticut.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
(Photo: U.S. Navy Historical Center)

U.S. Army aviation pioneer Billy Mitchell started an inter-service and inter-warfare specialty argument in 1921 when he demonstrated how bombers could take out a battleship. He later testified before Congress that “1,000 bombardment airplanes can be built and operated for about the price of one battleship.”

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
(Photo: National Archives)

 

The USS Arizona was the pride of the fleet through the 1930s and is pictured here at sea with President Hoover aboard.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
(Photo: U.S. Navy Historical Center)

Things went very badly for the U.S. Navy’s battleship fleet, including the USS Arizona, when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

The American war machine kicked into high gear after Pearl Harbor. Here the battleship Iowa is launched from New York Naval Shipyard in 1942.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

 

Battleships were used extensively in the Pacific Theater during World War II, primarily for naval gunfire support during amphibious landings.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment

Here the USS New Jersey launches shells at the beach to soften up the LZ for the Marines as they get ready to take Okinawa.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment

 

Here the USS Missouri offers some gunfire support of her own in 1944.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment

 

Always the master of optics, MacArthur insisted that a battleship be the venue for the Japanese surrender. The ceremony was held aboard the USS Missouri in Tokyo Bay on September 2, 1945.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

Battleships were brought back into service during the Korean War. Here the USS Wisconsin sails between the destroyer Buck and heavy cruiser Saint Paul off Korea, February 22, 1952.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

On May 6, 1956, the USS Wisconsin collided with the USS Eaton, a destroyer, in heavy fog off of Hampton Roads and sustained severe damage to her bow.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

As part of Navy Secretary John F. Lehman’s effort to build a 600-ship Navy in the 1980s, and in response to the commissioning of Kirov by the Soviet Union, the United States recommissioned all four Iowa-class battleships. Here the USS Iowa is seen shelling targets in Lebanon in 1984.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

The Iowa met with disaster on April 19, 1989 when an explosion in the center gun room killed 47 of the turret’s crewmen and severely damaged the gun turret itself. Two major investigations were undertaken into the cause of the explosion, one by the U.S. Navy and then one by the General Accounting Office and Sandia National Laboratories. The investigations produced conflicting conclusions.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

Today guests can visit the USS Arizona memorial where oil still seeps from the wreck resting against the bottom of Pearl Harbor.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
(Photo: U.S. Navy)

And guests can also visit the Iowa-class battleships in various cities around the country, including the USS Wisconsin docked in Norfolk, Virginia.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment

And lets not forget what is perhaps the greatest tribute to the battleship of all: Cher’s video for “If I Could Turn Back Time,” shot aboard the USS Missouri docked in Long Beach on July 1, 1989.  (And Navy officials were not happy with Cher’s outfit.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsKbwR7WXN4

Articles

The inside joke names that soldiers have for different unit patches

For nearly 100 years, U.S. Army soldiers have designed and worn unit patches. And for roughly same amount of time, soldiers have made fun of each other’s patches.


The tradition of Army patches dates back to 1918 when the 81st Infantry Division deployed to Europe wearing a shoulder insignia they had designed for training exercises in South Carolina. Other units complained about the unauthorized unit item to Gen. John Pershing who, rather than punishing the 81st, authorized the patch and recommended other units design their own.

Since then, units have designed and worn patches that motivated soldiers, honored the unit lineage, and encapsulated military history. This is a sampling of some of those patches, along with the alternate names that soldiers remember them by.

1. “Leaning Sh-thouse” — 1st Theater Sustainment Command

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: US Institute of Heraldry

The arrow is supposed to symbolize the ability of the command to fulfill its mission quickly and effectively, but soldiers decided it looked like an outhouse dropped on a hill.

2. “Broken TV” — 3rd Infantry Division

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: US Army Spc. Luke Thornberry

The three lighter stripes symbolize the three major campaigns the division fought in during World War I while the darker stripes symbolize the loyalty of the soldiers who gave their lives. Once TVs were invented, the similarity between a broken set and the patch was undeniable.

3. “Four Lieutenants Pointing North” — 4th Infantry Division

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: US Army Markus Rauchenberger

4th Inf. Div. wants you to see their patch and relate the four ivy leaves to fidelity and tenacity. The Army sees it and just thinks about lieutenants getting lost on the land navigation course.

4. “Crushed Beer Can” — 7th Infantry Division

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: US Institute of Heraldry

This is supposed to be an hourglass formed from two 7s, a normal one and an inverted one. Of course, it really does look more like a can someone crushed in their grip.

5. “Flaming Anus” — 9th Infantry Division

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: US Army Steven Williamson

You see it. You know you do.

6. “Gaggin’ Dragon” — 18th Airborne Corps

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: US Institute of Heraldry

Their mascot is a Sky Dragon so they went with a big scary dragon … that needs someone to administer the heimlich.

7. “Electric Strawberry” — 25th Infantry Division

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: US Air Force Tech. Sgt. Michael Holzworth

Based out of Hawaii, 25th’s patch is a taro leaf, native to Hawaii, with a lightning bolt showing how fast the division completes its missions. Since no one knows what a taro leaf is, most soldiers call it the electric strawberry. They also sometimes get called “Hawaii Power and Light.”

8. “Days Inn” — 41st Infantry Division

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: US Army Steven Williamson

Like 3rd Infantry Division’s, there was nothing odd about this patch when it was adopted in World War I. Still, if you’re only familiar with the hotel chain, this patch feels like copyright infringement. Some soldiers from this unit volunteered for service in Afghanistan in 2008, an experience chronicled in Shepherds of Helmand.

9. “Alcoholics Anonymous” — 82nd Airborne Division

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: US Army D. Myles Cullen

The 82nd Airborne Division was named the All-American Division after a contest held in Atlanta, Ga. The patch’s two A’s are meant to call to mind the “All-American” nickname, but many people are, of course, reminded of the alcoholic support group. This wasn’t helped by the division’s reputation for hard drinking.

10. “Choking Chicken” — 101st Airborne Division

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: Wikimedia Commons

The 101st was originally based out of Wisconsin and they based their unit patch off of “Old Abe,” a bald eagle carried into combat by the 8th Wisconsin Volunteer Infantry Regiment during the Civil War. While Abe was a distinguished bald eagle, the unit patch could easily be seen instead as a chicken with corn stuck in its windpipe.

Humor

7 ways to prove your spouse is a spy

If Hollywood thrillers have taught us anything about relationships it’s that your wife or husband could be a spy.


Countless dramatic storylines throughout cinematic history blast the prospect of living with the enemy and never knowing the truth until it’s too late.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Robert Hanssen, a former FBI agent, pleaded guilty to selling U.S. secrets to the Soviets and Russia in 2001. He’s currently serving 15 life consecutive sentences — his wife claims she knew nothing about it.

If you ever suspect your spouse could in fact be a spy, check out these tips on how to prove your theory.

1. Randomly toss vegetables in the air

Most spies are great with cutlery. In 1996, we were blessed with the film The Long Kiss Goodnight starring Gina Davis who plays Samantha Caine a.k.a. Charly Baltimore a woman who learns about her mysterious past immediately after a stabbing and pinning a defenseless tomato against a custom made cabinet door.

 2. Take them to a carnival

You’ve been happily married for years and you know for fact you’ve never seen your better half ever fire a pistol or a rifle, but lately you’ve been seeing a different side to them. Here’s your chance to get more evidence of her double life.

Make it a date night to the local carnival and challenge her to a shooting game.

A red flag?

3. Get them wasted

People talk more than usual after tossing back a few.

Take it from Harry Tasker played by Arnold Schwarzenegger in James Cameron‘s 1994 action comedy hit True Lies — he wasn’t drunk, but the bad guys gave him some pretty good sh*t to admit his secret to his wife, who apparently never went to work with him, or an office Christmas party.

A long time.

4. Install a secret home surveillance system

We do it to watch nannies take care of our kids. … Just something to think about.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment

5. Learn to curse in a few different languages

Spies are known to be cultured in many global customs after having traveled the world on secret missions.

Knowing an extra language or two helps them blend into those dangerous environments.

So here’s the trick — when they least expect it, blurt out a curse word in a different language. Watch to see if your suspected spook changes his expression. If it doesn’t, try another. Your spouse will ever get the hint you’re catching on or think you’ve got Tourettes.

Nothing?

6. Wardrobe

Movie spies are known for having some pretty bad ass suits and sunglasses. When they’re off saving the world or reporting sensitive information to foreign governments, they’ve got to do it in style.

Take notice how they remove or put on their sunglasses. If it appears they do in a dramatic fashion every time — you probably married a spy.

You’ll look super cool. 

7. Go to work with them

Let’s face it, in real life — unless you know they own their business — faking a job one is the hardest things your spouse could pull off. Think about it: if they’re into espionage and all that, wouldn’t she have to take you to pick up a dead drop or recruit an agent?

Can you think of any other tells that your spouse is a spook? Comment below.

Lists

10 gifts for the man in your life who’s operator AF


7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment

My Marine husband is the worst to shop for.

The worst, I tell you.

The man sees something he wants and he hauls off and buys it. It makes Christmas shopping extremely difficult.

So in an effort to put together a good Christmas list I asked him to consult with me on an article for WATM’s “10 gifts for the man in your life who’s operator AF.”

This is what he sent me:

1. Operator Stocking

This stocking is definitely operator AF.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
High Speed Operator Stocking / Accessory Pouch

Specs:

  • Double Zipper Main Pocket
  • Santa Clause Approved & Compatible.
  • Modular Webbing for Pouch Attachment
  • 3x Polymer D-Rings
  • Integrated Drag / Carry Handle
  • 2x Hanging Hooks
  • External Small Pouch with Elastic Cord Closure
  • 3″x2″ Patch Panel
  • Made from High Durability Nylon Fabric

2. Hidden gun rack

No one will ever catch him by surprise as he’s flexing in this mirror.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
N.J. Concealment Furniture surface mounted wall mirror

Specs:

  • 16″x52″x3.75″ inside 12″ x48″ 2 3/4″
  • Construction:
  • Solid hardwood with hardwood plywood back.
  • Includes:
  • 2 1/4″ Kaizen foam
  • mounting hardware
  • Includes magnetic lock and one magnetic key.

3. Plate carrier

…Because every operator should wear this every time he leaves the house.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Plate Carrier With Cummerbund Molle Style

Specs:

  • tab “panes”
  • External cummerbund that offers a more stable MOLLE platform
  • Cummerbund is fully adjustable and removable
  • Small/Medium has three rows of MOLLE webbing
  • Large/ X-Large has four rows of MOLLE webbing
  • Carrier is not releasable
  • Armor not provided

4. SureFire weapons light

…For seeing under the couch and shit.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Surefire X300U-A 600 Lumen LED WeaponLight Rail Lock

Specs:

  • Virtually indestructible LED regulated to maximize output and runtime
  • Tactical-level output with TIR lens for close- to longer-range applications
  • Quick-detach rail clamp
  • Accepts optional pistol grip and long gun forend switches
  • Weatherproof—O-ring and gasket sealed
  • Construction—High-strength aerospace aluminum with Mil-Spec anodizing; impact-resistant polymer; coated tempered window
  • Includes high-energy 123A batteries with 10-year shelf life

5. A sweet 1911 handgun

Because every SureFire needs a firearm attached (..and because this is MARSOC AF!).

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
M45A1 Close Quarter Battle Pistol

Specs:

  • M1070CQBP SPECIFICATIONS
  • CALIBER .45 ACP
  • WEIGHT 2.8lbs (1.27 kg)
  • CAPACITY 7+1 Wilson Magazine
  • OVERALL LENGTH 8.5in (21.59cm)
  • BARREL LENGTH 5in (12.7cm)
  • FIRING ACTION Single Action
  • FIRING SYSTEM Series 80

6. JetBoil stove

Because even operators need their coffee.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Jetboil Flash Cooking System

Specs:

  • Best Use Backpacking
  • Fuel Type Canister
  • Fuel Isobutane-propane
  • Auto Ignition Yes
  • Integrated Pot Yes
  • Burn Time (Max Flame) 100g canister: 42 minutes
  • Average Boil Time 4 min. 30 sec.
  • Dimensions 7.1 x 4.5 x 4.1 inches
  • Liquid Capacity (L) 1 liter
  • Liquid Capacity (fl. oz.) 33.8 fluid ounces
  • Weight 15.25 ounces

7. Kevlar helmet

Holidays are coming. So are the in-laws. Enough said.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
3M Combat High Cut Helmet with Rails and NVG Shroud

Specs:

  • Meets or exceeds NIJ Level IIIA ballistic standard for penetration
  • Meets a minimum of 650 mps V-50 for 17 grain tested according to STANAG 2920
  • Shell sizes: S-XL
  • Variable thickness, 7 impact absorbing pads can be adjusted or removed for individual comfort
  • Pad thickness sizes: standard size 6 @ 3/4″ or optimal size 8 @ 1″
  • Weight: starting at 2.4 lbs (small)
  • Includes: Wilcox NVG mount and side accessory rails

8. Hammock

Sometimes an operator just needs to hang shit in the back yard and sleep there.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
OneLink Sleep System – JungleNest

Specs:

  • JungleNest Hammock
  • Your Choice of Atlas or Helios Straps
  • Your Choice of Rain Tarp
  • Set of Carabiners Included
  • Set of Stakes Included

9. Combat boots

For stomping on all those battery operated toys his mother-in-law is going to send the kids this year.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Nike Special Field Men’s Boot

Specs:

  • Quick-drying synthetic leather overlays for durability and support
  • Multiple ventilation zones that allow the boot to breathe and drain quickly
  • Genuine leather footbed for durability, flexibility and comfort
  • Nike Free-inspired outsole, designed for traction and natural range of motion
  • Sticky rubber forefoot lugs for exceptional traction on all terrain
  • Weight: 15.9 ounces (men’s size 9)

10. Backpacking stove

For when the holidays get to be too much and he takes his SureFire, JungleNest and JetBoil out to the woods for a few days. He’ll need to cook.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
MSR WhisperLite Universal Backpacking Stove

Specs:

  • Best Use Backpacking
  • Fuel Type Canister, Liquid
  • Fuel Auto, Isobutane-propane, White Gas, Kerosene
  • Burn Time (Max Flame) (20 oz.white gas) 1 hr. 50 min. / (8 oz. isobutane) 1 hr. 15 min.
  • Average Boil Time (White gas) 3 min. 30 sec. / (isobutane) 3 min. 45 sec.
  • Dimensions 6 x 6 x 4.75 inches
  • Weight (Stove, pump & canister mount) 13.7 ounces
Articles

The 9 coolest things militaries have done with the M113

Though one wouldn’t expect much from an armored vehicle developed by the Food Machinery Corporation, the M113 has become ubiquitous on the battlefield. In nearly 60 years of service, the M113 has found its way into the inventories of over 20 different countries and served in war zones across the globe.


As various militaries realized the utility of the platform, they greatly modified them for their own needs. Here are 9 of the coolest examples:

1. Armored Cavalry Assault Vehicle

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
M113 armored cavalry assault vehicle with three machine gun turrets (two M60 / one M2 Browning .50″). (Photo: U.S. Army)

Early in its service in Vietnam, it became apparent that the M113 needed to be more than just a “battle taxi” — it needed to bring some guns to the fight. To remedy this, Vietnamese, and later American, units made field-expedient improvements that led to the development of the Armored Cavalry Assault Vehicle, or ACAV.

Mounting a single .50 caliber machine gun and two M60’s behind armored gun shields, the ACAV became a rolling gun platform that could deliver massive firepower.

2. M132 Armored Flamethrower

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
M132 Armored Flamethrower on display at the War Remnants Museum. (Photo: Wikimedia Commons)

The jungles of Vietnam led to another development of the M113 — the M132 Flamethrower. Replacing the cupola with a flame turret and filling the passenger compartment with 200 gallons of flame fuel, the M132 was the mechanized equivalent of a fire-breathing dragon.

3. Missile Launcher

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Pershing missile launch at Hueco Range, Ft. Bliss, Texas. (U.S. Army Photograph by Warren C. Weaver)

Numerous countries used the M113 platform to launch missiles, particularly anti-aircraft missiles. But, for the United States the M113 would join the nuclear triad when it was modified as a Transporter Erector Launcher (TEL) for the Pershing I nuclear missile system. Other modified 113’s served as support vehicles in these operations.

4. Medium Reconnaissance Vehicle

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
M113 Medium Reconnaissance Vehicle in the Puckapunyal Army Camp, Victoria, Australia. (Photo: Wiki user Bukvoed)

Almost as soon as the Australians received the M113’s, they began splicing them together with other components. First, they took the turrets from their retiring Saladin armored cars and mounted them on the M113 to make the Fire Support Vehicle.

This vehicle was just an interim measure, though, while the Medium Reconnaissance Vehicle was being developed. This vehicle used the newer turret from British FV101 Scorpion tanks along with upgrades to the hull.

5. Air Defense Anti-Tank System

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
The Air Defense Anti-Tank System (ADATS) is a dual-purpose short range surface-to-air and anti-tank missile system based on the M113A2 vehicle. The ADATS missile is a laser-guided supersonic missile with a range of 10 kilometres, with an electro-optical sensor with TV and Forward Looking Infrared (FLIR). The carrying vehicle also has a conventional two-dimensional radar with an effective range of over 25 kilometres. (Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

The Air Defense Anti-Tank System, or ADATS, was a unique dual-purpose system designed to fight low flying aircraft and oncoming tanks. The Canadians mounted it on the ever-versatile M113 for mobility purposes. Armed with eight missiles and a power search radar, this created a formidable piece of defensive equipment.

6. M163 VADS

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Crewmen stand in the hatches of an M163 Vulcan self-propelled anti-aircraft gun of the 24th Infantry Division (Mechanized) during an exercise at the National Training Center. The M163 consists of an M168 Vulcan 20 mm cannon with radar fire control mounted on a modified M113 armored personnel carrier. (U.S. Army photo)

The United States used the M113 for a variety of anti-aircraft platforms, but the coolest was the M163 VADS.

VADS, or Vulcan Air Defense System, was the anti-aircraft platform for the M61 20mm Gatling Gun used in American fighter aircraft. With all systems mounted on the venerable M113, the VADS, in conjunction with short-range missile systems, provided a highly mobile and deadly effective anti-aircraft system.

In Israeli service, the VADS was credited with downing a MiG 21 while under heavy fire and transitioning from ground targets to aerial.  

7. Arisgator

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
An Arisgator on display in Rome. (Photo by Heinz Guderian)

In the late 1990s, the Italian defense firm ARIS SpA made one of the most radical modifications to the M113 by making it fully ship-to-shore capable.

The M113 was always designed to be amphibious but the modifications made by ARIS, known as the Arisgator, put the M113 in league with the USMC’s Amtracs. Buoyancy was improved by adding a long bow section as well as two stern sections that also mounted propellers to move the 113 through the water.  

8. Danish Mk I/Egyptian Infantry Fighting Vehicle

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
The Danish M113A2 MK I DK (Wildcat).

What do you get when you mount a Swiss autocannon and a German machine gun in an Italian turret and marry that to and American APC?

You get Denmark’s version of the M113, known as the Mk I. Mounting a Oerlikon-Contraves 25mm autocannon, a German MG3 coaxial 7.62mm machine gun, and an Italian Oto Melara turret with advanced optics the Danes got an IFV just to their liking.

In the same vein, but uniquely more American, the Egyptians upgraded their large fleet of 113’s with the powerful turret assembly from the M2 Bradley to create the Egyptian Infantry Fighting Vehicle.

9. Armored Infantry Fighting Vehicle

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Soldiers from 2nd platoon, E-company, Battle Group 7, Task Force Uruzgan move toward Mirabad in an YPR765 armored infantry fighting vehicle. (ISAF photo by Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class John Collins, U.S. Navy)

The Armored Infantry Fighting Vehicle, or AIFV, was initially sought by the United States Army for its own Infantry Fighting Vehicle but when the M2 Bradley was chosen instead other governments picked up the idea.

The AIFV uses a modified M113 platform and mounts a one-man turret with a 25mm autocannon and a 7.62mm machine gun set behind the engine on the vehicle’s right side. The crew compartment holds seven troops, facing out, with five firing ports for mounted fighting.

Military Life

The pros and cons of being a military spouse

The title of “Military Spouse” is a descriptor that those married to service members wear proudly — and with good reason. There is a sense of pride in being married to someone who has dedicated their life and career to defending our great nation.


Military life affects the entire family to varying degrees and finding others who can relate to what you are going through is important. So, it makes sense to identify as a “Military Spouse” and be an active part of that community.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
We’re a family and it’s beautiful. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Sgt. Calvin Shamoon)

But is there a downside?

Maybe.

My husband recently retired from the military after 20 years in the Marine Corps. We were ready for this transition. We knew exactly where we wanted to retire, we had friends and family in the area, and, having already lived in the location in the past, we had a few roots already planted.

I was a very active part of the military-spouse community and, over time, I became very well-versed in making friends and adapting to living in certain areas for only a few years at a time. Even today, we still find ourselves gravitating towards military families when it comes to social gatherings.

But 18 months into this “retirement” phase of our lives together, I am feeling a little bit lost.

It’s not that I’m getting the itch to move — I have jokingly told my husband that I just want to be buried in the backyard because I am not moving again. But I do feel a loss of identity when it comes to friendships.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
No one gets the military community like the military-spouse community. (U.S. Army Photo by Staff Sgt. John Healy)

Making friends with folks who have lived in one area their entire lives is a bit challenging. It’s not because they’re not open to being friends with a newcomer, it’s because I find myself so far out of my comfort zone. The zone where, no matter what, another military spouse and I instantly had at least one thing in common upon first meeting. So I struggle to create long-lasting, meaningful friendships (that are so valuable to my mental health) in a community of people who have been around each other their entire adult lives.

Was there something I wish I had done differently while my husband was on active duty? I’m not sure. I don’t regret the many incredible, life-long friends I made, even if they are spread out across the world. I don’t regret being active in the military-spouse community because I learned so much and grew as a person.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Military spouses of Combat Logistics Battalion 31 visit local children at the Life is Beautiful Daycare Center in Ishikawa, Okinawa, Japan. (U.S Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Jonah Baase)

But I do wish that I had spent more time making connections with those outside of the community. I had “civilian family” friends, sure, but it feels like a life skill I could have spent more time honing.

Just like active duty service, transition out of military service impacts the entire family. There are many aspects of the transition to be considered, but one that I really wish I had realized was being careful of putting so much stock in my identity as a military spouse, especially when it comes to the friends I made.

I don’t wish that I had spent less time with military friends, I don’t wish that I had shied away from participating in the community, but I do wish I had spent more time thinking of life after my husband’s military service in regards to my own identity.

Articles

The US military took these incredible photos in just a week

The military has very talented photographers in its ranks, and they constantly attempt to capture what life as a service member is like during training and at war. This is the best of what they shot this week:


AIR FORCE:

Airmen push down on the wing of a U-2 after its landing at Royal Air Force Fairford, England, June 9, 2015. If the aircraft lands slightly off balance, it has the potential to tilt to one side or another.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: Staff Sgt. Jarad A. Denton/USAF

U.S. Air Force Senior Airman Talon Leinbaugh, 66th Rescue Squadron aerial gunner, conducts aerial surveillance in an HH-60G Pave Hawk over the Pacific Ocean during Angel Thunder 2015, June 11, 2015. Angel Thunder is hosted by the 355th Fighter Wing at Davis-Monthan Air Force Base, Ariz., but many flying operations will extend throughout Arizona, New Mexico and California.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: Senior Airman Betty R. Chevalier/USAF

NAVY:

Soldiers from the Japan Ground Self-Defense Force (JGSDF) cast a line from a combat rubber raiding craft to Sailors in the well deck of the amphibious transport dock ship USS Green Bay (LPD 20) during combined training with the 31st Marine Expeditionary Unit (31st MEU).

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Derek A. Harkins/USN

The U.S. Navy flight demonstration squadron, the Blue Angels, perform the Diamond 360 maneuver at the Ocean City Air Show. The Blue Angels are scheduled to perform 68 demonstrations at 35 locations across the U.S. in 2015.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Andrea Perez/USN

ARMY:

Paratroopers, assigned to the 173rd Airborne Brigade, rehearse amphibious landings aboard British Navy landing craft as part of Exercise BALTOPS 2015 in Ravlunda, Sweden.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: 1st Lt. Steven Siberski/US Army

Soldiers, assigned to 1st Armored Division and Fort Bliss, conduct training during a Decisive Action Rotation at the National Training Center, Fort Irwin, California.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: Spc. Ashley Marble/US Army

MARINE CORPS:

Falling in style. Gunnery Sgt. Eddie Myers, parachute safety officer assigned to Detachment 4th Force Reconnaissance Company, parachutes from a UH-1Y Venom helicopter during airborne insertion training at the flight line aboard Marine Corps Air Station Kaneohe Bay.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: Lance Cpl. Aaron S. Patterson/USMC

Mud bath. Marines and Sailors competed in the 2015 Commanding General’s Cup Mud Run at Camp Pendleton, California.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: Lance Cpl. Asia J. Sorenson/USMC

COAST GUARD:

Just a few months ago, the Coast Guard officially stood up its 22nd rating, the dive rating for enlisted members and dive specialty for chief warrant officers.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: USCG

Honoring paying respect to Old Glory.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Photo: USCG

NOW: See more military photos

OR: Watch the top 10 militaries in the world:

Articles

9 things that would be different if Chuck Norris led the Bin Laden raid

In the early hours of May 2nd, 2011, in Abbottabad, Pakistan, SEAL team 6 got the green light to execute a deadly mission to capture or kill the man responsible for the 9/11 terrorist attacks — Osama Bin Laden. After President Obama broke the news to the world that the notorious Al Qaeda leader had been taken out, American and its allies celebrated all across the world.


As additional information poured in, the mission was labeled a success — although it had its share of flaws.

But as WATM has a deep and abiding appreciation for 1980s action movies, we wondered how different it all might have gone down if Chuck Norris had planned and led the famous bin Laden raid. So check out our list.

Related: 9 examples of the military’s dark humor

The SEALs on Norris’ team would be issued dual Uzis — because firepower.

Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun. (images via Giphy)

The SEAL team would have parachuted in instead of inserting on stealth helicopters.

Chuck Norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open,so he took it back the next day for a refund (images via Giphy)

Once Chuck Norris and the SEALs land, awesome black tactical motorcycles would be patiently waiting for them.  Norris would shoot bin Laden’s compound wall so his SEALs could easily breach.

People sell their souls to the devil.The devil sells his soul to Chuck Norris.(images via Giphy)

After locating bin Laden, Chuck would have challenged him to a hand-to-hand showdown after removing his shirt and popping his knuckles.

Global warming will end as soon as Chuck Norrisputs his shirt back on. (images via Giphy)

Then, Chuck would deliver a series of right jabs to bin Laden’s face, breaking every bone in his body.

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed. (images via Giphy)

After beating bin Laden senseless, he’d casually walk away like the fight was over, mount his tactical motorcycle and blow the al Qaeda leader up with a missile like it wasn’t sh*t.

Chuck Norris puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”. (image via Giphy)

Since Chuck usually orders his men to fall back early (for some reason) he now has to make his escape just as Pakistani police show up.

Chuck Norris doesn’t need a ramp because he’s f*cking Chuck Norris. (images via Giphy)

Because Chuck is such a lone wolf, the only plane leaving the terrorist-infested nation is about to take off without him — but that won’t stop him from boarding.

Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper. (images via Giphy)

Related: Here’s how US Marines brought karate back home after World War II

After the mission was labeled a success by the president, Chuck wouldn’t verbally congratulate his team — he’d just give thumbs up.

Chuck Norris never fails, he tells success to come backwhen it’s ready for him. (image via Giphy

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of May 5

Memes call! Find your favorites, share them with your buddies, or don’t. We’re not your supervisor.


1. A training video on “Abdominal Circumference” may actually help some units (via Air Force Memes Humor).

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
And Troy McClure videos would be a huge upgrade from all these Powerpoints.

2. Being outside a firefight without your rifle is worse than being in a firefight with it (Weapons of Meme Destruction).

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Feels like death, and might be worse.

3. Allow the E4 to teach you a little about the military (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Starting with: Never go back to the unit right away.

4. Back blast area clear!

(via Team Non-Rec)

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Gonna be hard to explain this to the homeowner’s association the next morning.

5. It’s always embarrassing to remember that next generation’s history books will include this generation’s actions (via Decelerate Your Life).

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
At least you can write some of the histories ahead of time.

6. Will pay to see “You’re Welcome” parody with Coast Guard swimmers (via Coast Guard Memes).

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
The Coast Guard used this exact same pun two years ago while talking about teaching rescue swimmers to swim.

7. Senior enlisted problems:

(via Terminal Lance)

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Decisions, decisions. Sorry, junior Marines.

8. Some NCO better fix that little guy’s gig line (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Can’t tell if the label in the top right corner is from the past or future …

9. Last guy to switch from BDUs is definitely the first guy to crack a beer (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Love the shades.

10. Your recruiter lied to you (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Better volunteer for some cool-guy schools and get into some high-speed units.

11. Kinda hard to take the new guy on a welcome-to-the-unit bender if someone has to make him a fake ID first (via Military World).

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Highly recommend ordering the apple juice so at least no one else in the bar can tell.

12. It’s all about composite risk management (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Dirt raking is dangerous.

13. Remember all those grinning, proud faces when all the boots got their new uniforms?

(via Decelerate Your Life)

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
Of course, those uniforms get pretty salty before the end of the contract.

Articles

This Air Force crew just spoofed that viral BBC interview

If you somehow are on the internet and haven’t seen the viral BBC interview of an expert on South Korea being interrupted during a BBC interview by his children, then you can see it here.


The dad is impressively collected as his wife rushes in to grab the children and pull them out, but the internet had a field day with the interview.

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment
(Photo: YouTube/Jon Millman)

Now, a U.S. Air Force crew has created a spoof video where a pilot is attempting to read her takeoff clearance back when the crew starts stumbling in. Another airman, probably the chief, has to rush in and grab the other crewmen out of the cabin.

The results are pretty great. You can check the video out below: