12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse - We Are The Mighty
MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Military spouses are a growing group of individuals. With so much to relate to with one another, they can easily become fast friends and trusted companions. With unique life changes — multiple moves, the jargon (so much jargon), waiting on hold for an insurance related question, and more — so. much. more, milspos just “get” each other in ways that the rest of the population never could. 

Beyond that, there are further niche groups that bring people even closer together, or at the very least, lets them understand where the other is coming from over a cup of coffee. Maybe there’s the spouse who was stationed at your former favorite base. The spouse you grew up near, but never met until your spouses got placed in the same unit. Spouses whose partners have a similar school, or kids with the same therapy programs. 

Then, there are infantry spouses — the corner of the military that seems to be its own breed: combat professionals and a reputation to go with it. In the infantry, the humor is different, the hours are IN-SANE (yes that’s insane with two syllables) and the gear is infinite. Only those with large attics might survive. 

Here are 12 ways to tell you’re an infantry spouse: 

  1. You might be an infantry spouse if:

You see a certain shade of blue and your brain auto-corrects to “infantry blue” when naming it as a hue. The last time you asked the nail tech for “infantry blue” you got some side eye and had to backtrack and explain. 

  1. You might be an infantry spouse if:

You’ve hosed off muddy uniforms before they were ever allowed to cross the threshold of your at-the-time home. Maybe you even got smart and left an outdoor bucket for clothes that aren’t quite kosher for the indoors. 

  1. You might be an infantry spouse if:

The sound of exploding bombs or close overhead birds doesn’t cause a blink. Another day, another wall-shaking event. 

  1. You might be an infantry spouse if:

You see everyday military workers and their un-infantryness and think to yourself, “What a POG” … even though you, yourself are the POGiest of POGs … in the civilian equivalent. 

  1. You might be an infantry spouse if:

You’ve been woken at 3 am by your frantic partner who can’t find the correct PT gear. Then, without moving from bed, you name where it is and the state of general cleanliness (or lack thereof). 

  1. You might be an infantry spouse if:

Your normal week includes jump-starting the car, changing a flat tire, taking out the trash, work, cooking and cleaning, and booking the plumber — all while solo parenting. Busy? Nah, you’ve had worse. 

  1. You might be an infantry spouse if:

Sudden and dramatic plan changes are the norm. You only write plans in pencil these days anyway.

  1. You might be an infantry spouse if:

You have zero idea what anyone’s first names are. All your partner’s coworkers = last names only. When a fellow spouse refers to their own partner as, “Steve” or “Rebecca” you have to auto-correct and remember who they’re speaking about. 

  1. You might be an infantry spouse if:

You know that four-days, sick days, etc., don’t usually apply. Those are for the rest of the military … not the infantry. Sigh. 

  1. You might be an infantry spouse if:

You know better than to drink from the Grog. Smells terrible, tastes worse — at least, you are assuming. Even pre-COVID you wouldn’t touch that stuff! 

  1. You might be an infantry spouse if:

You know they want to be home as much as you want them to be home. And when that day comes, you try your hardest to make the most out of family time together. 

  1. You might be an infantry spouse if:

You keep pushing forward. Canceled leave? Promised orders nowhere in sight? Carrying your family and putting the kids first with zero energy left on your plate. Yet you know the show goes on, and even if it takes some time, you will muster up that energy to be positive and impactful on those around you, one caffeinated beverage at a time.

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

Living (and loving) in a soberly-divided marriage

Marriage can feel like a roller coaster, full of unforeseen ups and downs. But a marriage that becomes divided by sobriety levels up the ride, adding sharp turns, twists and loops that will make any head spin.

From the moment my husband and I met in 2007 — at a bar on a Monday night — alcohol has played a significant role between us. We bonded and drank our way through every phase: courting, engagement and newlywed. We drank through good times and bad, for good reasons and not.


When we entered the new-parent phase, there was a shift. My husband, whose sole goal in life was to be a dad, started to slow down his drinking. I boldly amped it up, increasing with each of the three children we brought into the world.

When my heavy weekend drinking trickled into weekdays, my husband expressed concern. When I drank excessively while he was on missions, he gave me ultimatums to not drink.

When my few solo travels resulted in reckless drinking, we both agreed I should stop altogether. Twice I attempted to break up with alcohol for my kids and marriage — once for 100 days, the other for eight months.

Yet, I knew I’d drink again because that’s what my husband and I did. We drank. A lot. Together.

By the beginning of 2017, my drinking was at an all-time high, and I was at an all-time low. My soul felt beyond broken. I was living life on alcohol’s terms rather than my own.

I was in single-mom-mode with our kids and on day four of an uncontrollable bender. I heard a very distant voice. It was my own, deep inside, and it said, enough. In that moment I knew I was ready to get sober — not for my kids, not for my marriage, but for me.

Fast forward to today, more than three years later, and I’m still gratefully sober.

The years have gifted me heaps of self-growth, such as how to honor my feelings, to stay present and to live authentically. I’ve found my voice and my calling in a new career. I’ve also done a complete 180 on how I perceive alcohol and the alcohol industry.

When people ask about the hardest part of recovery my answer has been and remains my marriage.

At first, it was not only the elephant in the room, but an elephant between us. To remove the elephant, we’ve attempted a dry house, which resulted in resentment from both parties.

We’ve tried a normal routine of my husband drinking as he pleases, which has also resulted in resentment and rejection from both parties.

We’ve talked. We’ve fought. We’ve cried, and we’ve loved each other so hard through it all.

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

(Military Families Magazine)

So how then do you live in a soberly divided marriage?

For us, there is no black-and-white answer, but I can attest to what we’ve learned over the years.

Honest communication is a must.

If I’m triggered or having an off day, it’s best to own it and say it aloud. Otherwise, my husband may have no understanding as to my bitterness or emotional distance. Plus, he’s able to better support me in the future, and vice versa if he struggles on his side of the journey.

Establish and honor boundaries.

Being around my husband when he drinks usually doesn’t bother me because, oddly enough, I like his tipsy, talkative lighter side. But my boundary is set at two nights in a row of his drinking. Beyond that and he knows he’ll find me elsewhere, doing my own thing. He honors my choice and space, but more times than not, he’ll not risk losing my company for a drink.

Respect the differences.

He’s a science guy. I’m a believer in Jesus. In all our time, we’ve respected our differences in faith. Similar respect is now applied to our opposing relationships with alcohol. We agree to disagree, and we do so respectfully.

Time and patience do wonders.

Despite the infinite ups and downs outside that come with being soberly divided, it’s clear with every passing sober day, we grow stronger in our marriage. We also grow stronger as individuals. But we must practice patience when the sober journey feels tough.

Practice empathy daily.

Lastly, without empathy, we may have fallen apart years ago. With empathy, we see through each other’s eyes more clearly. We’re better equipped to practice the “Golden Rule.” We’re forever reminded that at the end of the day, we’re two imperfect people doing our best to love each other through the sober journey’s good, bad and in-betweens.

Visit https://www.instagram.com/teetotallyfit/ to follow Alison Evans’ journey with sobriety and fitness.

This article originally appeared on Military Families Magazine. Follow @MilFamiliesMag on Twitter.

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

How to connect grandparents and family through story time

As we settle into the new normal of our kids distance learning and all of us staying home as much as possible, it’s important to stay connected to our family members and friends around the world. One great way to stay connected is through the power of shared storytime.

For 30 years, United Through Reading has helped military families stay connected through deployments, drill weekends, TDYs, and irregular work hours. Now with shelter in place orders across the country, their app is a great way to stay connected to extended family members in the military.


With the free United Through Reading App military families are able to record and enjoy storytime on demand and also receive complimentary books!

The app launched in May 2019 and uses TroopID to verify military affiliation.

“By using TroopID, retirees, veterans, service members, and their immediate family members have a United Through Reading story station in their pocket – opening up endless possibilities to connect with their families over storytime,” said Dr. Sally Ann Zoll, CEO of United Through Reading.

CMSgt (Ret) Denise M. Jelinski-Hall reads everyday to her one year old grandchildren Dakota and Hunter, but last year when she found herself traveling away from their home in Colorado, she turned to United Through Reading.

“Reading their favorite stories provides consistency in their little lives. When Grandma can’t physically be there – the recordings are the next best thing. They get to hear Grandma’s voice, see my face and all the silly things they love. The recordings also are available on ‘their time’ as I’m not always available at the right time to read a story but the recordings are always there.”

The babies loved it, crawling right up to the laptop their mom Ashley set up for them to have storytime with Grandma, giggling and following along.

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Photo courtesy of CMSgt (Ret) Denise M. Jelinski-Hall

For Caitlin Sommer, United Through Reading helps her kids connect with her brother Jesse who is in the Army. Jesse sent a number of books and recordings to his sisters ahead of a deployment and Caitlin’s two sons watch them two to three times a week.

“The sappy side of me – I want them to know Jesse, their brain spans are goldfish, for me when he comes back they can pick up where they left off,” she said. “As video chat becomes more common, even today with social distancing, it’s a wonderful way to stay in touch with people. Reading is really important to kids; it’s wonderful they have a personalized video from their uncle.”

Whether you want to connect with your niece or nephew, grandchild, or godchild, United Through Reading is a way to stay connected no matter the distance. To learn how to use the app check out this video:


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And the best part about the app? You can send a book to the child for free! So start reading along with all of the kids in your life today – for now and future times away from home. Download it today at utr.org/app.

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

Force Recon legend, Major James Capers, receives hero’s welcome in his hometown

Major James Capers Jr. is a living legend.

If you do not know who “The Major” is, it is highly recommended that you read here to learn more about this great American and highly decorated war hero. Capers was born in Bishopville, South Carolina in the Jim Crow south. During the Vietnam War, just three generations removed from slavery, he became the first African American to receive a battlefield commission as part of Marine Force Recon. Capers’s team, which called themselves “Team Broadminded” conducted more than 50 classified missions in 1966 alone.


During his 22-years of service, Major Capers has been awarded the Silver Star; two Bronze Stars; and Combat V; four Purple Hearts; Vietnam Cross of Gallantry; a Joint Service Commendation Medal; Combat Action Ribbon; three Good Conduct Ribbons; Battle Stars; Navy Commendation Medal; Navy Achievement Medal; CG Certificate of Merit; and multiple letters of Merit, Appreciation, and Commendation. There is a new push for him to be awarded the Medal of Honor, but it remains to be seen whether or not it will ever happen during the Major’s lifetime; he turned 83 years old on August 25.

On Friday, August 28, Capers’s hometown of Bishopville, South Carolina held a ceremony in honor of his service and dedication to this great country.

After several high profile guests bestowed deserved recognition and honors upon Capers, he began his speech with a tribute to his dear wife, Dottie Capers, and son, Gary Capers. They have sadly both passed away, several years ago, but clearly still have a special place in his heart and mind. Capers began his speech by saying: “I’m a little bit overwhelmed because my precious Dottie is not here, and my wonderful baby [Gary] is not here. They are in heaven and God has promised me that I will see them again.”

The event included a parade through Bishopville accompanied by USMC veteran Danny Garcia from Honor Walk 2020 and a color guard comprised of Marine Raiders.

The Mayor of Bishopville presented “Capers Boulevard and intersection,” a bronze wall sculpture with his likeness. Additionally, Major Capers was recognized by Congressman Ralph Norman and other elected officials. He was also given South Carolina’s “Order of the Palmetto.” This is the state’s highest civilian honor. It is awarded to citizens for extraordinary lifetime service and achievements of national or statewide significance. The award was presented by Senator Gerald Malloy.

In addition to a large crowd of civilians, Marines from several generations were also present to honor Major Capers and witness the public outpouring of gratitude and respect for his service.

Since retiring from the Marine Corps, Capers has continued to mentor countless young Marines who look to him for natural and spiritual guidance as they navigate life. Major Capers’s legacy is not only long-lasting because he was a warrior and leader, but also because he was a devoted husband to his late-wife Dottie and a loving father to his late-son Gary. As he neared the conclusion of his speech, Major Capers stated, “All of these accolades today mean a lot to me, and it means a lot to Dottie because she’s up there watching.”

A humble and soft-spoken man, Capers said, “I don’t deserve all of this.” To which the captivated crowd strongly disagreed. The reality is that no one deserves this honor and respect more than he does. He is a true patriot, great American, and hero to the highest degree.

For those interested in learning more about this legendary man by purchasing a copy, you can read Major Capers’ incredible memoirs which are titled Faith Through the Storm: Memoirs of James Capers, Jr. All proceeds are donated to charity.

This article originally appeared on SOFREP. Follow @sofrepofficial on Twitter.

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

Navy child with leukemia inspires others to be the match

Ailani Myers wasn’t even three years old when she was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL), an aggressive cancer of the blood. Although her battle is far from over, she and her family are focusing on something else too: saving other children.

Giggett Johnson is the sister of Ailani’s mom, Princecine Johnson, a 23-year veteran of the Navy.


“Ailani was born without complications and was healthy up until her second year, when they came to visit the family in Texas. We noticed she was acting different. She had a rash and an odd spot on her head so we rushed her to the hospital,” Johnson said.

It wasn’t long after that first hospital visit that Ailani received her diagnosis of ALL. The family quickly dove into treating her cancer and tried desperately to find a blood stem cell donor. But there wasn’t one on the registry. One barrier to finding a match that Ailani and many children like her face is being of mixed race. Her mother is black and her father white, which greatly reduced her chances of finding a transplant match.

Without a readily-available match, the family made the decision to bring Ailani to Johns Hopkins. It is one of the world’s leading experts in treating pediatric cancer and specifically doing haploidentical bone marrow transplants — a half-match transplant usually from a mother or father.In part because of her ethnicity, it was her greatest chance at a cure.

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Ailani with her dad.

Ailani’s father, Kurt Myers, is an active-duty chief warrant officer in the Navy. The Navy gave the family orders to Fort Meade, Maryland, to allow the family to be close to the hospital. Ailani received a haploidentical transplant from her father in 2019 which was successful. But three days before her one-year transplant anniversary, a scheduled bone marrow biopsy indicated her leukemia had relapsed. Despite the devastating setback, she and her family remain committed to a cure.

Beth Carrion is the family’s Be The Match representative and she is imploring the public to register to be a possible donor, especially those with diverse ethnic backgrounds.

“We have to end the healthcare disparity and bridge that gap. We need help to do that,” Carrion said.

According to the Be The Match website, for over 30 years it has managed the largest and most-diverse marrow registry in the world. In the years since its founding, the nonprofit has helped lead the way for innovative advancements in transplants — and in the process, saved countless lives. But they need more people to register to donate, as there are thousands of children waiting.

Learn more about joining the bone marrow registry

Only 20% of patients will actually require a marrow transplant, with most of them being children under 10 years old. The rest desperately need parts of your blood for treatment. Unfortunately, medical television shows have dramatized the process and led potential donors away in fear. The donation is not as painful as it is portrayed in television and you are asleep while they do the procedure.

“I think when people hear the word ‘registry’ they think organ donation and that isn’t what it is. This is just a blood product and your body will replenish it,” Carrion explained.

The giving of blood and blood products is lifesaving. Ailani recently underwent a new treatment called CAR-T cell therapy where her own T-cells were filtered from her blood and re-engineered in a laboratory to target her leukemia. She then had to receive extensive chemotherapy to prepare her body to receive those re-engineered T-cells. Through it all, Ailani has remained positive – even as she continued to lose her hair yet again, something that broke her heart the first time she went through it.

If this treatment is unsuccessful, they will be going with another half-match transplant with her mother.

Although all seemed poised to be heading in the right direction, the family had another setback.

“She fell and scraped her knee and because she was immunocompromised from chemotherapy, she ended up with a fungal infection in the scrape. The fungus disseminated throughout her whole body resulting in several major complications. They had to give her white blood cell transfusions, extensive antifungals, and do surgery to clear the infection,” Carrion shared.

According to Ailani’s aunt, she was terrified when she got up from falling.

“When she fell, she said ‘Uh oh, uh oh. I fell I fell.’ She knew that something devastating could come out of a fall,” she said.

But even with the additional challenges Ailani is facing on top of battling her cancer, she hasn’t lost her happy disposition and sweet personality.

“Sometimes when my sister calls me to tell me how Ailani is, I’m at a loss for words. I don’t know what to say other than we’re praying and trying to be strong for her,” Johnson said through tears.

Her family describes Ailani as a fighter, a beacon of light and good. It is their hope that by sharing their story more people will raise their hands and register for Be The Match. Registration is simple, easy and painless. For the potential children matched with prospective donors it’s a scientific miracle. It will also save their lives.

To learn more about how you can register for Be The Match and get your cheek swab, please click here or text “saveailani” to 61474.

This article originally appeared on Military Families Magazine. Follow @MilFamiliesMag on Twitter.

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

A retired airman met her sister for the first time at the Warrior Games

She’s competing in track and field and indoor rowing, but medically retired Air Force Senior Airman Karah Behrend couldn’t concentrate on training for the 2018 Department of Defense Warrior Games at the U.S. Air Force Academy.

For the first time, Behrend was going to meet her 19-year-old biological sister, Crystal Boyd, who lives in Puyallup, Washington.

After training, Behrend anxiously waited until she was whisked off to the hotel for the meeting, which she said was surreal.

“I have been picturing this moment for a long time and for it to finally happen, I couldn’t be happier,” Behrend said. “We keep in touch through social media but we’re trying to make plans for me to meet our dad and have them meet my family.”


“I’ve been extremely excited but I knew it would happen sometime. I just didn’t know when,” Boyd said. “Throughout the time I’ve known her, she’s gone through so much and watching her overcome everything right in front of my eyes, in person here at the DoD Warrior Games, is an honor. She’s always had the strength and now she’s going out and doing what we all knew she could do. I couldn’t be more proud of her.”

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse
Medically retired Air Force Senior Airman Karah Behrend prepares to throw discus during the 2018 DoD Warrior Games at the U.S. Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, Colo., June 2, 2018. The sisters met for the first time in person at the games.
(DoD photo by EJ Hersom)

Boyd said she also can’t wait to meet Behrend’s family. “We’ve already talked about me visiting her and her family in Texas,” she said. “I’m excited to meet my nieces.”

Call to Service

Claiming Gilford, Connecticut, and Bradenton, Florida, as her hometowns, Behrend, 24, said she grew up moving around as a kid. She was adopted when she was four years old by an Army Ranger.


“My brother and I were adopted because when my biological dad got back from Desert Shield/Desert Storm, he wasn’t really the same person. So my mom spilt with him pretty rapidly to get us out of the situation,” she said. “As my mom told me about him, I was like, ‘I need to meet him. This is half of me. I don’t know who he is.’ We somehow got in contact with him. I think through his sister randomly. I talked to him for two hours that night and found out I had a sister.”

“Our dad told me about her and our brother while growing up, so I always knew about her. I just didn’t know her. She actually got in contact with me. I never knew how to find her so I just waited,” Boyd said.

Behrend said she’s tried to meet up with her sister a few times throughout the years, but it’s been difficult since she has been in the Air Force for the past six years.

Shared Service

Behrend said she joined the Air Force as a communications signals analyst because of her family’s military legacy. “It’s something I’ve always wanted to do,” she said. “My grandfather served during the Vietnam era. My biological father was in Desert Shield and Desert Storm. My adopted dad was a Ranger down in Panama for the Panama crisis. It’s just something our family does.”

When Behrend reconnected with her biological dad, she said they had that military bond. “It was an immediate, talk about everything bond,” she said. “I can call him and say, ‘This is going on; what do I do?’ He tries; we’ve been working on rebuilding that relationship. He said he will always be thankful that someone was able to come in and step into our lives to make sure we’re OK.”

In 2015, Behrend had a surgical complication that resulted in reflex sympathetic dystrophy. She said the neurological disorder impacts her involuntary functions such as temperature control, blood pressure, heart rate, pain, inflammation, swelling and other functions that a person doesn’t actively control. When she runs, she said she feels like her leg will go out from under her.

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse
Medically retired Air Force Senior Airman Karah Behrend, right, and her sister Crystal Boyd pose for a photo at the 2018 Defense Department Warrior Games at the U.S. Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, Colo., June 2, 2018.
(DoD photo by EJ Hersom)

“It causes a lot of pain, instability and weakness in my right leg,” she said. “I also had a spinal injury from a car accident so it messes with my left one too.”

Her sister has epilepsy. Behrend said her disability is rare but since both of their disabilities are neurological, it’s an extra bond they can share and talk about.

Behrend has two little children as well as her sister to keep her motivated. “I don’t want my kids growing up thinking that if something happens, you just stop your entire life,” she said. “It’s not what life it about. Life it experiences. I don’t even see them as positive or negative anymore. Just experience it. It pushes me in one way or another but I grow.”

She encourages others to push themselves as well. “It doesn’t matter how early or late something happens or what he magnitude is. As long as you do it with all of your heart and you put everything you have into it, no matter what, it’s going to work,” she said passionately.

“Just because you have some kind of disability doesn’t mean you can’t overcome it,” Boyd said. “You can’t allow it to stop you from doing the things you want to do and the things you want to do. Even with obstacles, you can overcome whatever you truly put your mind to. Neither Karah nor I let our disorders define us. It’s a part of us, but it is not us.”

DoD Warrior Games

So far at these Warrior Games, Behrend has earned gold medals in her disability category in the women’s discus and shot put competitions. She broke a record in shot put in her category.

Boyd said she’s inspired not only by her sister but by the athletes at her first games.

“Watching everyone here inspires me,” she said. “These athletes decided to serve our nation, and even after they’ve been injured in some way they still continue to serve by inspiring everyone around them.”

Boyd added, “Even though you have a disability, it doesn’t define you. With a good support system, anything is possible. As long as you put your mind to it, give some effort and trust those around you, things will start moving. Don’t forget things take time. Don’t stress if things don’t happen as fast as you want them to.”

This article originally appeared on the United States Department of Defense. Follow @DeptofDefense on Twitter.

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

WATCH: MilSpouse in quarantine performs hilarious coronavirus balcony concert

Emily Krieger Cabana is the military spouse hero we need right now and don’t deserve. Her impromptu balcony performance of Andrew Lloyd Weber’s ‘Think of Me’ from Phantom of the Opera is quite simply put: magical. Oh, and also, incredible. Emily has a musical theater degree and was working professionally in New York City before she met her husband, a Marine pilot, during Fleet Week.

Emily rewrote many of the lyrics to reflect her family’s mandatory quarantine and how they’re handling it: “Remember me, once in a while, please promise me you’ll try. When you find that once again you long to share your wine or booze with me, if you ever find a moment, to share a glass with me.”


We saw this video and knew we needed to talk to this woman. When we reached out to Emily to talk about her incredible performance, Emily laughed and said she couldn’t believe that this many people were interested. She gave us the scoop on how it all transpired from base housing stairwell apartments at Patch Barracks in Stuttgart, Germany, where their family has been stationed for almost three years.

WATM: What prompted this?

Emily: My family is actually in quarantine because we came in direct contact with someone who tested positive for the virus. So we can’t leave our apartment until next Friday at 2:00, not that I’m counting!

I was informing my moms on the street in our group message [that we were quarantined] and one of them happens to know I am a singer and she said they now expected balcony performances, after seeing all the posts from other countries.

Well, with lots of moms agreeing and a bit of pressure put on, I said ‘why not!’ So, I couldn’t do just any song … I had to make it humorous and relatable to our situation.

One of my mom friends on the street was so excited to go and see Phantom of the Opera in London. She was so excited. And since everything is cancelled, I kind of got the idea of using one of those songs and making it humorous to lift our spirits. I believe laughter and music are incredible healing tools!

So I got on a ball gown, gave my moms message thread a 15 minute warning, and never ever expected it to be appreciated as much as it was.

And better yet, I got beer and booze delivered and placed outside our door!

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Photo courtesy of Emily Krieger Cabana

WATM: You have an incredible voice. Tell us about your background in music.

Emily: I have a Musical Theatre degree and was working professionally in New York when Fleet Week happened. That’s how I met my Marine pilot. Yes, an actual Fleet Week success story!

So I put my career on hold and focused on family life and Marine Corps spouse life. I still teach voice lessons and help direct shows whenever the time allowed in whatever duty station we were at.

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Photo courtesy of Emily Krieger Cabana

WATM: You are amazing! How is quarantine going?

Emily: Hearing we were in direct contact actually wasn’t super surprising to us. This is such a small community and we figured it was going to happen to quite a lot of people we knew. No need for us to worry as nobody has any underlying conditions. We are just trying to stick with the guidelines of sanitizing and also trying to be as healthy as can be. We tend to live our lives more in the moment and try not to stress about what could be. Stress doesn’t help anyone!

Our neighbors and friends have completely gone out of their ways to help with shopping or just dropping off meals or treats for us. The military community takes care of each other and they are coming out in full force during this time. It’s really humbling. And makes us proud to be a military family in such a supportive community.

WATM: Any advice for other military spouses facing quarantine life?

Emily: Well, I think the booze and wine requests speak for themselves.

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Photo courtesy of Emily Krieger Cabana

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

These military spouses ran for political office in 2020, and won

Three military spouses recently ran for political office in their local communities and won their campaigns in the most recent November election.

Kalish Morrow, a Navy spouse currently stationed at Naval Air Station Lemoore, was elected as the City Councilperson for Hanford, California. Although Morrow was not always involved in politics, her work as a small business owner in Hanford motivated her.

“As a business owner, I got involved with our Main Street program and quickly started seeing the issues our small businesses faced with onerous red tape and high fees,” she said.

“In 2016, when a seat opened up on our city council, I threw my hat into the race.”

However, Morrow didn’t win that election. She ran again in 2020, with support from the Libertarian Party.

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse
Kalish Morrow, Hanford City Councilperson (elect). Photo courtesy of Kalish Morrow

“My campaign had a huge focus on the voice of the people … and rallied community involvement through leading by example,” Morrow said.

She spent her campaign doing things like organizing park cleanups, building with Habitat for Humanity, and driving donated items out to Fresno for victims of the recent wildfires over the summer.

Although her background as a military spouse did not have a direct effect on her decision to run for political office, Morrow does believe her experience with the military lifestyle will impact the way she leads her constituents.

“Over the years I’ve had to learn how to compartmentalize and keep moving forward when things get difficult,” Morrow said. “I’ll be stepping into a big role right in the middle of COVID and when the effects of the shutdowns begin to take its toll on the economy. My biggest job … will be to make sure the city keeps providing important services to its people while not placing any additional financial burden [on the people].”

Morrow learned a lot during her two campaigns in 2016 and 2020, but her biggest takeaway is that votes are about the people.

“Votes are earned one person at a time,” she said. “People do not like their votes are taken for granted so they appreciate you taking the time and putting in the painstaking effort of going and meeting with them to show you truly care about your community.”

For military spouses who are also interested in getting involved in politics, Morrow has a few pieces of advice.

“Above all else, you must knock on doors. It sounds tedious … but … people appreciate your willingness to take the time and meet with them personally,” she said. “[Also], having an organized campaign with a great campaign manager. … Your team is precious and vital to a successful campaign.”

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse
Kalish Morrow, Hanford City Councilperson (elect) and some of her volunteers. Photo courtesy of Kalish Morrow.

Morrow also suggests military spouses get involved in their city councils if they are interested in making a change in the community, even if you will only be there for a short time. She recommends going to the city council and county supervisor’s meetings, or join a citizen’s advisory board. You can also attend local meetings.

She also notes that getting involved in the local community helps military spouses meet other like-minded people they might not otherwise have the chance to meet if they stay in their little military bubble. Those connections can become valuable tools if you’re interested in getting more involved in politics in the future as an elected official.

Allison Russo and Erin Pare, both military spouses, also won elections in their local communities on opposite sides of the political aisle.

Russo, a military spouse of a combat veteran, was re-elected as the state representative for the 24th District in Ohio. She first ran for the position in 2018 and flipped the seat from Republican to Democrat in that election.

“My plan was never politics, but as a combat veteran’s wife I have seen firsthand what a call to duty looks like. I know that to make a difference in your community, you have to know when to stand strong for what you believe and when you must put aside your differences to work together,” a statement on Russo’s campaign website said.

Erin Pare, a former Army spouse of 12 years, recently won the North Carolina State Representative seat for District 37 running as a Republican. She and her husband have strong ties to the small community of Holly Springs, North Carolina, where they live and own a sporting goods store. As a small business owner, Pare found herself wanting to make changes in policies regarding small businesses in their area. Her platforms include a pro-growth economy, education, public safety and more.

This article originally appeared on Military Families Magazine. Follow @MilFamiliesMag on Twitter.

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

2020 shopping ideas for the military spouse in your life

Military spouses work hard all year long to keep the family running on the home front, so they deserve a little something special this holiday season. Here are some of our favorite ideas for pampering the military spouse in your life.

Gifts for Military Spouses

Fairwinds Candle Company

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Fairwinds Candle Company is a veteran- and military-spouse owned candle company. All of their scents are Navy-inspired like Commitment, Gig Line and Topside, these are a perfect gift to give your Navy military spouse or military spouse friend. 

Beth R. Martin Designs

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Hand-painted by a military spouse in Charleston, S.C. these gorgeous leather napkin rings make for a great addition to your next holiday party or social gathering with your military spouse friends. 

Altruist Wine by Markham Vineyards

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

The Altruist Wine was developed by Markham Vineyards to honor those serving in the military and as first responders. The deep Merlot is a great gift idea for your fellow military spouse or for yourself — because we all need a little wine to get through this military life. 

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Soap Cauldron

Owned by a Navy Reservist who served in Desert Storm and her sisters, Soap Cauldron is now creating beautiful artisanal soaps and skincare products. The small-batch products are made with pure plant oils, gourmet butters and natural botanicals. You can get a gorgeous gift set to make gift-giving easier or pick out the perfect scent for your military spouse. 

Brave Crate

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

If you are looking for the perfect gift for a military spouse going through a deployment, look no further than Brave Crate. Brave Crate offers a monthly subscription box that helps military spouses count down the months during deployments with self-care items and even resources through their private Facebook group. 

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Charliemadison Originals

Charliemadison Originals is a military-spouse owned bracelet company that offers gorgeous beaded bracelets and necklaces that are military-inspired, first-responder-inspired and more. This set of Milspo Strong bracelets is a perfect gift for your military spouse- although you can find others that are branch-specific, too. 

Life and Apples Wellness Planners

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

We know that military life can be…well, chaotic to say the least. A Life and Apples Wellness Planner is a great gift to help your military spouse start the new year off organized, as well as track her own self-care and wellness. They have pages for your to-do list as well as meal planning, fitness tracking and gratitude journaling.

MilSo Box

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Looking for the perfect subscription box for your military spouse? MilSo Box is a military-spouse owned and inspired monthly subscription box full of self-care items like beauty, treats and even jewelry. Each month has a theme, and the monthly box will help you get through this crazy military life one day at a time. 

Modern Rosie

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Modern Rosie offers prints, canvases and accessories that mostly focus on the Navy military spouse life of those on cruisers, destroyers and submarines. But this “Do Not Pack” tumbler is something that all of us military spouses can get behind. And need for our next PCS filled with coffee (or something a little stronger). 

Jane & Cope

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Military-spouse owned shop, Jane & Cope offers gorgeous handmade leather earrings in a variety of colors, styles, designs and prints. We love these leopard white ones that are perfect for a night out with your service member, but they have ones that are elegant enough to wear to your next ball, too. These make a great gift for your fashionable military spouse!

The Admiral’s Daughters

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

The Admiral’s Daughters is a former military-child owned shop that offers apparel and prints. We are loving their naval station prints like this one of Jacksonville, although they offer several others like Norfolk and San Diego, too. 

microMAHALO

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Stationed in Hawaii or just missing it? This military spouse owned shop creates sea glass art straight from the beaches of Hawaii. If your military spouse’s or military spouse friend’s favorite duty station was on the beautiful Hawaiian islands, then a gift of Aloha or a set of pineapple magnets made from their favorite beaches is a perfect gift this holiday season. 

Portable phone charger

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

One thing military spouses always have on them is their phones. We don’t dare miss a text, phone call or WhatsApp message when our service members are gone! This portable charger will make sure that your spouse’s phone is always charged so they never miss those all-important calls. 

Raquel Riley Thomas Cosmetics

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

This veteran-owned cosmetics line offers lip color, eye shadow, lashes and mascara. If you have a beauty-buff military sposue, shopping from Raquel Riley Thomas Cosmetics is a perfect gift for her as well as a great way to support the military community.

Looking for more holiday gift ideas? Download the Military Families Magazine 2020 Holiday Gift Guide!

MIGHTY CULTURE

11 valuable tax tips and benefits for military families

The holidays are over, and we are now in the year 2020. It’s a good time to start working on our 2019 taxes, because April 15 will be here before we know it. Taxes are overwhelming and complex, but there are numerous tax benefits for military families, so it is important to understand the basics.


12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Income

Servicemembers receive different types of pay and allowances. It is important to know which are considered as income and which are not. For servicemembers, income typically includes basic pay, special pay, bonus pay, and incentive pay.

Exclusions

Items normally excluded from income include combat pay, living allowances, moving allowances, travel allowances, and family allowances, such as family separation pay.

Combat pay exclusions are a substantial benefit to servicemembers and spouses. Combat pay is that compensation for active military service for any month while serving in a designated combat zone. This may also include a reenlistment bonus if the voluntary reenlistment occurs in a month while the servicemember is serving in the combat zone. Note that for commissioned officers, there is a limit to the amount of combat pay you may exclude.

The most common living allowances are Basic Allowance for Housing and Basic Allowance for Subsistence. Moving allowances are those reasonable, unreimbursed expenses beyond what the military pays for a permanent change of station.

Sale of Homes

Servicemembers and spouses often decide to purchase homes when moving to new duty stations. Often, we then turnaround and sell the homes a few years later before moving again.

What happens if you make a profit from the sale of this home? If you are fortunate enough to profit, you may qualify to exclude up to 0,000 of the gain from your income, or up to 0,000 if you file a joint return with your spouse. This is referred to as the Sale of Primary Home Capital Gain exclusion. Normally, this exclusion requires that you owned the home for at least two years and lived in it for at least two of the last five years. There is an exception, however, for servicemembers. If you were required to move as the result of a permanent change of station before meeting these requirements, you still may qualify for a reduced exclusion.

Claim for Tax Forgiveness

If a servicemember dies while on active duty, there are circumstances where the taxes owed will be forgiven by the IRS. Contact your closest Legal Assistance Office immediately for assistance using the website provided later in the article.

Extensions

If April 15 is quickly approaching and you are running out of time, remember, there are several different extension requests that military families may make. If the servicemember is in a combat zone, an automatic extension covers the time period the servicemember is in the combat zone plus 180 days after the last day in the combat zone.

Avoid Tax Scams

In November 2019, I wrote an article on common scams during the holidays. Unfortunately, scams are not limited to the holidays. There are numerous tax scams that have stolen personal information and millions of dollars. Scammers use the mail, telephone and email to initiate contact. Please remember that the IRS never initiates contact by email, text messages or on social media pages to request personal or financial information. The IRS initiates most contact through the regular U. S. Postal Service mail. Finally, the IRS never uses threats or bullying to demand payments.

If you have any questions, contact the IRS with a telephone number you find on its website (www.irs.gov) and verify what you received is legitimate before doing anything. To protect yourself, only use an IRS telephone number from its website. Do not use a telephone number you received that you suspect may be part of a tax scam from an email, text message or social media page.

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Signing Tax Returns

Normally, both the servicemember and spouse must sign jointly filed tax returns. If one spouse will be absent during tax season, it is advisable to have an IRS special power of attorney, IRS Form 2848 (Power of Attorney and Declaration of Representative). You may access this form on the IRS website.

Military Tax Centers

Annually, many Legal Assistance Offices worldwide help servicemembers and spouses file their federal and state income tax returns starting in early February. Last year, for example, Army Legal Assistance personnel and volunteers prepared and filed over one hundred thousand Federal and over sixty-four thousand State income tax returns saving servicemembers and their families more than million in tax preparation and filing fees.

If you don’t live near a military installation, visit the Department of Defense Military One Source website at https://www.militaryonesource.mil for additional information on accessing free online tax assistance.

Legal Assistance Offices

If you have specific tax questions or receive correspondence from the IRS, contact the closest legal assistance office to schedule an appointment. Use the Armed Forces Legal Assistance website (https://legalassistance.law.af.mil) that I provided in the October 2019 blog to locate your nearest legal assistance office. The quicker you address your issues, the better likelihood that you will successfully resolve them.

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Valuable Tax Tip for 2020

Finally, here is a valuable tip for next year’s taxes. Does it seem like every year you are scrambling to find tax documents and receipts from throughout the tax year? Relieve this stress by getting a folder and writing “Tax Year 2020” on the front of it. Keep it in an easy-to-find place, and every time you receive a document or receipt that may impact your taxes place it in the folder. That way, at the end of this year, you will have most of the supporting documents you need already together.

Future Blogs

Be on the lookout for future blogs that will continue to discuss specific legal issues often encountered by servicemembers and military spouses. As always, this blog series will help to protect your family and you!

This article originally appeared on Military Spouse. Follow @MilSpouseMag on Twitter.

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

How vet-owned Sword & Plough is repurposing military gear for a mission of peace

‘Tis the season for the giving of gifts. ‘Tis also the season of FOMUG (Fear Of Messed Up Gifting). We get it. It’s hard out there for an elf. Team WATM would like to offer you some guidance.


For the Bright-eyed Hope Machine in your squadron:

~ a bag from the brand that’s turning military surplus into vet success 
12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Emily and Betsy Nuñez — sisters and co-founders of Sword Plough — represent the kind of entrepreneurial venn diagram that a truly bipartisan American government would engineer in a lab to ensure a Better Tomorrow.

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse
Sisters, on a bit of a mission…

Growing up at West Point with their father, a 30-year Army veteran, Emily and Betsy were inculcated from an early age with the military life. Emily was one of only three students at Middlebury College in ROTC and would go on to serve on active duty as an intelligence officer with 10th Special Forces Group.

She would also be one of the first women to attend Ranger School.

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

At the same time, she and Betsy were laying the groundwork for a classic millennial start-up, a sustainable bags and accessories company dedicated to repurposing materials and people for the betterment of all. Since 2013, they’ve been operating at the energetic epicenter of 21st century feminism, social entrepreneurship, sustainable business modelling and post-9/11 veteran affairs.

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

But if there’s one anecdote from the early days of Sword Plough that, above all others, may have foretold the relentless success the company has enjoyed since its founding, it’s this one, from Emily:

Well, just before launching on Kickstarter, we did another business plan competition…at the Harvard Business School, their Pitch for Change Competition. And I got leave from the Army to attend the contest. It was just an amazing experience. We pitched to the audience and the judges and we won first place and the Audience Choice Award, which was just incredible. [But] we almost actually didn’t even have the chance to do the pitch because there was a blizzard that weekend [in Boston] and we were having a really hard time finding a cab…so we ended up hitching a ride with a snow plow…

Uh…hold please. I grew up in New England. Snow plows stop for no one. How did you pull that off?

I sprinted up to him. I was wearing high heels and a dress and I just told him…”We only have 20 minutes to get to Harvard Business School to pitch our idea to repurpose military surplus into bags and to work with veteran American manufacturers and donate part of our profits to veteran organizations!” [H]e waved us in and gave us a ride. It was a pretty lucky moment…

Was luck really the deciding factor? I doubt it. Faced with such a hyper-specific onslaught of enthusiasm, purpose, brains, and brass, what snow plow man — no matter how grizzled — could say no? Who among us would be so gripped with frozen-hearted pessimism that he’d turn such a pitch aside? It’s unimaginable.

The Nuñez sisters have created a recipe that is impossible to deny. Their products are excellent, unique, and sustainable. Their company is staffed by veterans at every level. Their profits are charitably apportioned. Their eyes are on the horizon and their mission is to serve.

**Now till midnight on Tuesday, November 28th, Sword Plough is offering 20% off sitewide with the discount code BLACKFRIDAY**

The 2017 We Are The Mighty Holiday Gift Guide is sponsored by Propper, a tactical apparel and gear company  dedicated to equipping those who commit their lives to serving others. All views are our own.

Speaking of Propper, they’re giving away twelve tactical packs filled with gear from our Holiday Gift Guide. Click this link to enter.

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

MIGHTY MILSPOUSE

How to invest in your community and the veterans that will rebuild it this Christmas

‘Tis the season for the giving of gifts. ‘Tis also the season of FOMUG (Fear Of Messed Up Gifting). We get it. It’s hard out there for an elf. Team WATM would like to offer you some guidance.


For yourself and everybody else:

~ the gift of renewed purpose and civil service deployed where it’s needed ~

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

 

The promotional media that The Mission Continues posts on its website and social media repeatedly puts the full weight of modern digital video production behind an idea that strikes us as so self-evident, so perfect and air tight, we’re left wondering who it is rattling around out there who needs convincing?

In the words of Army vet and Mission Continues volunteer, Bradford Parker:

“Every veteran, no matter who you are, everyone gets that moment when they get out when they’re like, oh man, I should re-enlist. This is what you’re missing from the military and this is where you’re gonna get it.”

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse
The Mission Continues in Orlando.

Vets come home from service and are struck by the demands of a civilian life that seems both isolating and bereft of greater purpose.

Meanwhile, communities all over the country are sorely in need of highly skilled volunteers with honed leadership experience to spearhead the betterment of their living situations.

This is a match made in heaven, an easy pairing. But as these things tend to go, it required someone to come along, recognize the potential, and make a dancefloor introduction. Spencer Kympton, former Army Captain and founder of the organization, would probably step in here and assure us that it took a little more than that to get the whole thing humming. We’d certainly believe him, but it wouldn’t quash our enthusiasm for The Mission Continues one sand flea-sized bit.

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse
See? In this context, the log carry is…fun.

An organization whose mission positively serves both sides of the equation, veterans and community members, creates a very rare thing indeed, a common ground, a space in the middle where truly constructive work can be done. What other opportunities does civilian life present in which your hard won skills are so readily valued, in which the experience you bled for can be put to such grateful use?

Says Army vet Matt Landis:

“One of the things that I think the military does better than anyone else is get people to work together. From all different cultures, from all different walks of life–[if] you sweat and bleed together, you’re brothers.”

This Holiday Season, give yourself the gift of renewed purpose and give the gift of your time and effort wherever The Mission Continues would see you deployed.

The 2017 We Are The Mighty Holiday Gift Guide is sponsored by Propper, a tactical apparel and gear company dedicated to equipping those who commit their lives to serving others. All views are our own.

Speaking of Propper, they’re giving away twelve tactical packs filled with gear from our Holiday Gift Guide. Click this link to enter.

12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

MIGHTY CULTURE

This epic music video from Mat Best is everything you miss about active duty

Quick: Name all the things you miss about active duty. (If you still are active duty, then list all the things that make your life bearable as well as all the things you most hate.) Well, Mat Best and Jarred Taylor want to take you on a quick nostalgia trip through those memories of PT belts, buddies marrying strippers, and policing brass at the range.


You might remember Mat Best from his T-shirt company. Or the coffee company. Or that epic rap battle. Now, he’s dropped a new, soulful music video about how much veterans find themselves missing even the crappy parts of active duty, from the hot portajohn sessions to the mortar attacks to the PT belts. Turn it up loud in whatever cubicle you’re in.

Military Ballad – Can’t Believe We Miss This

www.youtube.com

Military Ballad – Can’t Believe We Miss This

Their new single Can’t Believe We Miss This is all about, well, the things you can’t believe you miss after getting that coveted DD-214. A quick note before you hit play: It’s not safe for younger viewers and only safe for work if your boss is super cool. There’s not nudity or anything, but they both use some words picked up in the barracks.

Oh, and there are a few direct references to how crappy civilian jobs with suit and ties can be, so your boss might not like that either.

But, yeah, the song is like sitting in an ’80s bar sipping drinks with buddies from your old unit, swapping stories about funny stuff like getting stuck on base after someone lost their NVGs and the serious, painful stuff like dudes who got blown up by mortars and IEDs.

And if you think Mat Best and Jarred Taylor skimped on production, then you’ve never seen their epic rap battle. So, yes, there are plenty of drone shots, weapons, and big military hardware like the HMMWV, aka humveee. It’s got more lens flare than a J.J. Abrams marathon and more explosions than Michael Bay’s house on Fourth of July.

And speaking of Independence Day, they dropped the video just in time for you to annoy the crap out of your family and friends with it wherever you’re partying. If you really want to do that but might not have good YouTube access, you can also watch the video on Facebook or buy it on iTunes.