12 ways to tell if you’re an infantry spouse

Military spouses are a growing group of individuals. With so much to relate to with one another, they can easily become fast friends and trusted companions. With unique life changes -- multiple moves, the jargon (so much jargon), waiting on hold for an insurance related question, and more -- so. much. more, milspos just “get” each other in ways that the rest of the population never could. 

Beyond that, there are further niche groups that bring people even closer together, or at the very least, lets them understand where the other is coming from over a cup of coffee. Maybe there’s the spouse who was stationed at your former favorite base. The spouse you grew up near, but never met until your spouses got placed in the same unit. Spouses whose partners have a similar school, or kids with the same therapy programs. 

Then, there are infantry spouses -- the corner of the military that seems to be its own breed: combat professionals and a reputation to go with it. In the infantry, the humor is different, the hours are IN-SANE (yes that’s insane with two syllables) and the gear is infinite. Only those with large attics might survive. 

You see a certain shade of blue and your brain auto-corrects to “infantry blue” when naming it as a hue. The last time you asked the nail tech for “infantry blue” you got some side eye and had to backtrack and explain. 

You’ve hosed off muddy uniforms before they were ever allowed to cross the threshold of your at-the-time home. Maybe you even got smart and left an outdoor bucket for clothes that aren’t quite kosher for the indoors. 

The sound of exploding bombs or close overhead birds doesn’t cause a blink. Another day, another wall-shaking event. 

You see everyday military workers and their un-infantryness and think to yourself, “What a POG” … even though you, yourself are the POGiest of POGs … in the civilian equivalent. 

You’ve been woken at 3 am by your frantic partner who can’t find the correct PT gear. Then, without moving from bed, you name where it is and the state of general cleanliness (or lack thereof). 

Your normal week includes jump-starting the car, changing a flat tire, taking out the trash, work, cooking and cleaning, and booking the plumber -- all while solo parenting. Busy? Nah, you’ve had worse. 

Sudden and dramatic plan changes are the norm. You only write plans in pencil these days anyway.

You have zero idea what anyone’s first names are. All your partner’s coworkers = last names only. When a fellow spouse refers to their own partner as, “Steve” or “Rebecca” you have to auto-correct and remember who they’re speaking about. 

You know that four-days, sick days, etc., don’t usually apply. Those are for the rest of the military … not the infantry. Sigh. 

You know better than to drink from the Grog. Smells terrible, tastes worse -- at least, you are assuming. Even pre-COVID you wouldn’t touch that stuff! 

You know they want to be home as much as you want them to be home. And when that day comes, you try your hardest to make the most out of family time together. 

You keep pushing forward. Canceled leave? Promised orders nowhere in sight? Carrying your family and putting the kids first with zero energy left on your plate. Yet you know the show goes on, and even if it takes some time, you will muster up that energy to be positive and impactful on those around you, one caffeinated beverage at a time.