9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious - We Are The Mighty
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9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

Meals, Ready to Eat make field life significantly more comfortable for today’s troops than grandpa had it, but they’re still not exactly good. And, since there are only 24 recipes per year, even the good ones can get old fast. Luckily, Pvt. Snuffy has enough ingenuity to take MRE components and turn them into good food. Here are 9 of the best recipes we’ve found. (We’ve limited the recipes to those which can be made with only current MRE components.)


9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: U.S. Army

Entrees

1. Tex-Mex stew

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: David L. Nye

 

Ingredients:

  • Jalapeño pepper jack beef patty (can substitute beef stew)
  • Cheese spread
  • Hot sauce
  • Toasted corn kernels or crackers (optional)

Instructions:

Cut patty into small squares and add cheese. Add 3-4 oz. of water (reduce water if using beef stew) and mix. Works best if heated in metal container (canteen cup) over an open flame. Adding ingredients to hot beverage bag and heating with chemical pad will work in a pinch. Serve with toasted corn kernels or crackers. 

2. Pot luck pie

 

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: David L. Nye

Ingredients:

  • Beef stew
  • Cheese spread
  • Crackers
  • Hot Sauce

Instructions:

Mix all ingredients but crackers. Crumble crackers over top. Mixes and tastes best if warmed before mixing.

3. Asian Beef Bowl

Ingredients:

  • Asian beef strips
  • Garlic mashed potatoes
  • Cheese spread
  • Hot sauce

Instructions:

Mix well. Mixes and tastes best if warmed before mixing.

4. Loaded Baked Potato

Ingredients:

  • Garlic mashed potatoes
  • Bacon cheese spread
  • Hot sauce
  • Crackers (or vegetable crackers)
  • Salt (optional)

Instructions:

Mix everything but the crackers. Crumble crackers and sprinkle over the top. Mixes more easily and tastes better if heated.

Deserts

5. Apple/Pear crumble

Ingredients:

  • Spiced apples (or pears)
  • Crushed oatmeal cookie (or patriotic sugar cookies)
  • Creamer

Instructions:

Add creamer to the spiced fruit. Crush the cookie to a powder and sprinkle over the mixture. Best when served hot.

6. Ranger pudding

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: David L. Nye

Ingredients:

  • Cocoa Beverage Powder
  • Creamer
  • Water
  • Additional flavoring (PB, electrolyte powder, coffee)

Instructions:

Combine creamer, cocoa powder, and your additional flavoring in a pouch. Add a small amount of water and mix. Continue adding small amounts of water until the mix takes on desired consistency. For more sustenance, add throughly crumbled crackers.

7. Momma’s pudding

Ingredients:

  • Vanilla dairyshake powder
  • Beverage powder of desired flavor (coffee, orange, etc.)
  • Creamer
  • Sugar (optional)

Instructions:

Mix dairyshake, sugar, and beverage powder. Add water until mix achieves desired consistency.

8. General Patton’s Parfait

Ingredients:

  • Momma’s pudding/Ranger pudding
  • Crackers/Patriotic sugar cookies
  • Spiced apples (or pears)
  • Nuts

Instructions:

Make either pudding as described above. Layer pudding with crumbled crackers/cookies, nuts, and spiced fruit. To make other diners jealous, do so in a hot beverage bag so they can see how awesome your dinner is.

9. Frosting/Ranger cake

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: David L. Nye

 

Ingredients:

  • Vanilla dairyshake
  • Additional flavoring (PB, electrolyte powder, coffee)
  • Sugar

Instructions:

Mix powder and flavoring with sparse amounts of water. Add water slowly until the mixture achieves the desired consistency. Spread on pound cake to create Ranger cake.

See? MREs can be amazing!

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Articles

6 of the wildest top secret spy missions of World War II

Spy novels are filled with over-the-top missions and unlikely operations, but some of the wildest spy stories are the real ones.


1. A Polish spy bluffs her way into a Gestapo prison while surrounded by her own wanted posters.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: Wikipedia.com

Christine Granville was known for a bunch of exploits in World War II, but her ballsiest was a rescue mission. She walked into a Gestapo-controlled prison in France and secured the release of three other spies scheduled for execution. At the time, her face was on wanted posters spread across the country.

She convinced the guards that she was a British spy and the niece of a British general and that Allied Forces were bearing down on the city. She suggested that they should release the prisoners in return for future payment and clemency. The Germans bought it and she walked her colleagues out.

2. Operation Mincemeat fooled the Nazis with a corpse.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

When the Allies needed to invade Sicily in 1943, they knew the Germans would be rapidly reinforcing it. So, they procured the body of a dead vagrant, dressed him up in a uniform, chained a briefcase of fake invasion plans for Greece to his wrist, and floated him on ocean currents to “neutral” Spain.

As the British expected, the documents were handed over to the Nazis and assumed to be genuine. The Germans prepared for an invasion in the wrong place, saving thousands of Allied lives during the invasion of Sicily.

READ MORE: This top-secret operation was the World War II version of ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’

3. A famed jazz singer smuggled information through sheet music and her underwear.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: Wikipedia

Josephine Baker was a famous singer and dancer born in America. She became a French citizen in 1937 and, when France fell to the Germans, she convinced the Axis she was on their side. Baker spent the next few years spying for the Allies in high-culture parties with senior Axis leaders.

To smuggle intelligence out, she would plan performances in neutral countries and hand over her sheet music, covered in invisible ink, to Allied handlers. When she needed to smuggle out photos, she’d pin them to her underwear.

4. A Navy commando ran weapons, spies, and explosives through Greece and the Balkan Peninsula.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

Lt. j.g. Jack Taylor — sometimes called America’s first SEAL because he was the first American commando to infiltrate by sea, air, and land in his career — served in the OSS in the Balkan Peninsula behind enemy lines from Sep. 1943 to March 1944.

During this time, he and his men reconnoitered enemy troop and supply positions, resupplied friendly forces, and conducted night time raids. They were nearly caught in three different incidents but escaped each time. The famed Maj. Gen. William “Wild Bill” Donovan recommended Taylor for a service cross for the mission.

5. Agent Fifi tested new British agents by being hot and charming.

“Agent Fifi” was Marie Chilver, an English-born woman who was raised throughout Europe. She was jailed in an internment camp in 1940 but escaped to England in 1941.

She tried to get sent back to France as a spy, but wasn’t allowed. Instead, she became the beautiful, seductive final exam for British spy trainees. British agents would be approached by Chilvers during their mission and she tried and get secrets out of them. Any who divulged information were dropped from the program.

6. Virginia Hall led a resistance group despite having only one foot.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Virginia Hall lost her foot prior to World War II, an injury that ended her hopes for a career in the foreign service. So, instead she became a spy.

Her largest contributions to the war probably came when she slipped into France via a British torpedo boat, trained three battalions of French resistance, and led sabotage and intelligence-gathering missions. Her team killed 150 Germans and captured 500 more. They also destroyed four bridges and multiple trains and rail lines.

NOW: The 4 female spies who shaped the American revolution

OR: The 6 most secret units in military history

Articles

The 7 most bizarre foreign military uniforms

Sure, each nation has its own style. But some militaries have introduced dress uniforms so surprising, they’d stop you in your tracks if you saw them in person.


1. French Foreign Legion Pioneers

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: Wikimedia Commons, Davric

This engineering unit works like America’s sappers, clearing the way through enemy obstacles so other forces can attack behind them. In their dress uniforms, the pioneers carry ceremonial axes and wear large, leather aprons.

2. Greek Evzones

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: Wikimedia Commons, Robin

These light infantry soldiers are a primarily ceremonial unit whose members are pulled from the standard army’s infantry, artillery, and armored corps. The uniform they wear harkens back to the klephts, anti-Ottoman insurgents who fought for Greek independence from the 1400s to 1800s.

3. India Border Security Force

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: Wikimedia Commons, Daniel Haupstein

Formed in response to a failure by the State Armed Police to prevent incursions by Pakistan during the Indo-Pakistani War of 1965, this young force has grown from a few battalions to over 186 battalions in its 50 years. The headdress is surprising to many visitors to the country, but it’s a common uniform item in the Indian military. Like the U.S. military’s berets, different colors and patterns of headdress indicate different units.

4. India Border Security Force, Camel Contingent

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: Wikimedia Commons, Jared Wiltshire

India’s BSF is tasked with guarding a desert border with Pakistan, and so they have camel units which operate in sensitive areas. The camel contingent wears a separate uniform from the rest of the BSF and bedecks its camels in colorful harnesses.

4. Fiji’s Presidential Guard

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: Wikimedia Commons, Jared Wiltshire

The sulu is a skirt that is part of Fiji’s national dress, but it can still be surprising for tourists the first time they see ceremonial guards wearing it.

5. Mongolian Army

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: Wikimedia Commons, Dr Victor von Doom

The uniforms are meant to harken back to the days of the Mongol Empire, as is the white staff with yak hair. The staffs are called tug banners and are white during times of peace, black during times of war. Large processions like this are typically done before Nadaam, the Mongolian independence celebration.

6. South Korean Royal Guard

In 1996, the guards at the main palace of South Korea, Gyeongbokgung, reenacted the changing of the guard conducted during ancient times. The display was popular, so the guard unit protecting the palace has conducted the ceremony for tourists ever since, continuing to wear traditional clothing and carrying traditional weapons throughout the ceremony and their guard shift.

7. The Vatican Swiss Guard

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: Wikimedia Commons, Paul Ronga

The famed guards of the Vatican are partially known for their bright uniforms. Each uniform weighs 8 pounds and consists of 154 pieces before you count both the traditional and modern weaponry they carry. The uniform was redesigned in 1914, but it was created to match the uniforms the unit wore in the 1500s when they were formed.

NOW: The 7 best ways to prove your ‘sham shield’

OR: 5 signs you’ve been in the barracks way too long

Articles

79 cringeworthy errors in ‘Top Gun’

‘Top Gun’ is a classic and arguably one of the most visually stunning aviation movies ever made. Few movies in cinematic history have been as prolific in contributing to the pop culture lexicon, as well. (Who among us hasn’t said, “I feel the need for speed” in random social situations?) And if you ask military aviators who signed up for flight school after 1986 why they did it chances are they’ll list ‘Top Gun’ as one of the reasons.


Paramount had a huge challenge when they decided to make ‘Top Gun.’ Real-life air-to-air combat doesn’t lend itself to the silver screen in that it’s super technical, very chaotic, and generally takes place at ranges that would prevent two jets from being in the frame at the same time. So, of course, writers Jim Cash and Jack Epps, Jr. and the late-great director Tony Scott had to take some liberties to make the dynamic world of fighter aviation into something that might entertain movie-goers.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

But, even allowing for that, ‘Top Gun’ has a bunch of cringe-worthy technical errors that cause it to be as much cartoon as tribute. Here’s WATM’s list of the big ones (annotated by the exact time they occur). After reading them we guarantee you’ll never look at the movie the same way again.

(4:23) CATCC controller is sweating. Those spaces on the ship are usually freezing cold to protect the electronics.

(4:26) Bald-headed guy (played by actor James Tolkan) walks in wearing cover, something the crew doesn’t do on Navy ships unless they’re on watch on the bridge. What is this guy’s billet anyway? CAG? Carrier CO? Tomcat squadron skipper? (He’s an 0-5, so that would make him too junior for the first two, but he acts like he’s in charge of everything.)

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

(4:33) (Not an error but a technical note): MiGs-28s are actually F-5Fs painted black. (Top Gun still uses F-5s as aggressor aircraft.)

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

(4:45) GCI controller refers to crews by their callsigns: “Cougar and Merlin and Maverick and Goose.” A controller would refer to jets by aircraft side numbers.

(4:56) Maverick and Goose are sweating in the cockpit, which they’d only do if the pilot had the environment control system (ECS) jacked up uncomfortably high and the RIO didn’t bitch at him to turn it down.

(5:00) RIO’s radar presentation shows a 360-degree PPI presentation. Tomcat’s radar only sweeps 65 degrees either side of the nose. (Wouldn’t want a radar that pointed back at the crews. That would be a huge radiation hazard, to put it mildly.)

(6:00) Tomcat’s wings are swept fully aft, which means — at that altitude — that the aircraft is going supersonic or the pilot commanded them into that position, which he wouldn’t do because the airplane doesn’t turn that well in that configuration.

(7:21) Standby gyro is un-caged as Maverick “goes for missile lock” by twisting a nob on the mid-compression by-pass selector — a system that has nothing to do with the Tomcat’s weapons suite.

(8:00) Cougar transmits: “This bogey’s all over me. He’s got missile lock. Do I have permission to fire?” Well, whatever the ROE, the question is moot until you do some pilot shit and actually maneuver your jet into a position to commit a weapon.

(9:01) As far as Maverick’s “4-G inverted dive” (as Charlie later labels it) goes, if the two airplanes were that close the Tomcat’s vertical stabs would be jammed into the MiG-28.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

(9:03) The RIO wouldn’t be carrying a Polaroid camera. He’d have a regular “intel” camera, and if he didn’t get good photos of an airplane that nobody had ever been that close to before (as Goose says) then he would have failed in his part of the mission, big time.

(9:59) Merlin taps on a fuel gauge that doesn’t exist in the rear cockpit of the F-14, only in the front cockpit. (The RIO only has a fuel totalizer.)

(10:06) Cougar rips his oxygen mask off to breathe more oxygen, which would be in short supply at high altitude.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

(10:12) Cougar has a photo of his wife and baby taped over the airspeed gauge to the left of the altimeter. Meanwhile the vertical speed indicator shows he’s descending at 6,000 feet per minute, which would be an aggressive dive. At the same time the altimeter, which shows he’s at 31, 500 feet, is set to standby with the barometric pressure dialed to 28.32 when it should be at 29.92.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
F-14 A Tomcat cockpit. (Photo: U.S. Navy)

(10:26) ICS comms (intra-cockpit chatter) can be heard in air ops.

(10:48) A ball call (the transmission indicating the pilot sees the Fresnel lens that gives him glide slope information for landing) would not include the pilot’s call sign.

(10:57) Goose has the same non-existent rear cockpit fuel gauge as Merlin.

(10:58) Maverick crosses the ramp with his hook down and then a second later he has the hook up. (It takes several seconds to cycle between fully up and fully down.) Then he pulls the throttles aft to go around, which would reduce engine power, as somebody screams “Cougar!” over the radio.

(11:06) Maverick instantly bolters — in full burner, no less — with the hook down again.

(12:25) Cougar never calls the ball when instructed but gets a “roger, ball” from the LSO.

(12:27) There’s no way Cougar wouldn’t have been waved off based on that wild approach. He gets at least five “power” calls and no “wave off” call. The Air Boss would have had Paddle’s ass after that.

(12:51) Cougar traps, leaves lights on (Case I or Case III approach? Unclear here), and immediately shuts the jet down instead of taxiing out of the landing area. Maverick is still airborne, low on gas, and needs to land but can’t now because Cougar has fouled the landing area and has to be towed out of the wires.

(13:00) Nice stateroom for a squadron CO. (He’s an 0-5, fer crissakes.) Again, what’s this guys’ billet?

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

(13:58) First glimpse of random patch assortments on flight suits as Maverick and Goose get chewed out by skipper in his really nice stateroom. (And everybody’s sweating.)

(14:19) Ship’s captain/CAG/squadron skipper says, “With a history of high-speed passes over five air-controlled towers.” Not sure what those are but they must be different than ground- or water-controlled towers.

(15:36) Ship’s captain/CAG/squadron skipper says, “You can tell me about the MiG some other time” and dismisses the crew to head for Top Gun, thereby committing professional suicide by not getting the only information that anyone above him in the chain of command would care about that particular day.

(16:06) “Um, tower, there’s some dork riding a motorcycle down one of the taxiways shaking his fist at us.”

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

(16:59) There is no Santa Claus. And there’s no such thing as the Top Gun Trophy.

(17:46) Slider is a lieutenant (junior grade). That’s too junior for a Top Gun slot.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

(18:32) Navy leaders would be reprimanded for encouraging arrogance because the Navy spent money on posters that read “excellence without arrogance.”

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

(20:02) Goose quips, “Slider, thought you wanted to be a pilot, man; what happened?” So he’s a RIO slamming a fellow RIO for being a RIO? Not likely. And the “RIOs as second class citizens” vibe left the community with the F-4.

(25:52) A hangar isn’t the most conducive place for detailed flight briefs.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

(26:29) Charlie briefs, “The F-5 doesn’t have the thrust-to-weight ratio that the MiG-28 has.” Must be because black paint is lighter than other colors.

(26:37) Charlie briefs, “The MiG-28 does have a problem with its inverted flight tanks.” Those must be different than upright flight tanks.

(26:54) Anybody who showed up to a flight brief wearing a cowboy hat would have his or her wings pulled on the spot.

(27:36) Maverick makes a big deal about how the information regarding his MiG encounter is classified and then proceeds to reveal it in front of the entire group with no idea of whether they have clearance or not. Again, they’re briefing in a hangar. Not exactly a SCIF.

(28:42) Jester says, “All right, gentlemen, we have a hop to take. The hard deck on this hop will be 10,000 feet. There will be no engagements below that.” Of course we haven’t briefed any of the other details of this event — including ACM rules of engagement — because Charlie has wasted our time hitting on Maverick, but whatever . . .

(29:53) Smoke effect is actually the Tomcat dumping fuel . . . a stupid idea when you’re about to enter a dogfight.

(30:01) First merge happens very low to the ground over the desert, not exactly a hard deck of 10,000 feet.

(30:51) Goose says “Watch the mountains!,” words never spoken during an air combat maneuvering event with a hard deck of 10,000 feet.

(31:31) Maverick “hits the brakes” by pushing the throttles forward, which would increase power, not decrease it.

(31:49) Jester’s evasive maneuver in the A-4 is an aileron roll – not exactly an effective move in terms of creating the sort of lateral displacement that might defeat an enemy’s weapons solution.

(32:08) Goose says, “We’re going ballistic, Mav. Go get him,” which makes no sense because a pilot has no control over a ballistic airplane.

(33:34) Maverick does a barrel roll after the tower fly-by in full afterburner, a violation of Federal Aviation Regulations to the extreme without an FAA waiver, which he certainly didn’t get at the spur of the moment. That would have cost him more than an ass chewing by Viper. He would have lost his wings.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

(35:52) Maverick explains, “We weren’t below the hard deck for more than a few seconds. I had the shot. There was no danger. So I took it.” The hard deck simulates the ground, so basically Maverick is saying, “We didn’t hit the ground for more than a few seconds . . .”

(37:10) Any lieutenant whose fitness report reads “He’s a wildcard. Completely unpredictable. Flies by the seat of his pants” would be done flying, not to mention unqualified for a Top Gun slot.

(38:26) Goose says to Maverick, “They wouldn’t let you into the Academy ’cause you’re Duke Mitchell’s kid.” There are lots of reasons not to get admitted into a service academy — low SAT scores, for instance. Being the dependent of a veteran isn’t one of them; in fact, that status qualifies the candidate for a Presidential nomination.

(39:26) Maverick explains to Charlie during a TACTS debrief, “If I reversed on a hard cross I could immediately go to guns on him.” She replies, “But at that speed it’s too fast.” Um, what are you guys talking about, and what language are you even speaking?

(51:43) Charlie says, “That’s a big gamble with a $30 million plane.” Tomcat unit cost (cost per jet) circa ’86 was $42 million. Maybe she wasn’t including the cost of the two engines, which could have been a subtle dig on his energy management skills.

(55:31) Why is Hollywood eating an orange on the flight line?

(55:45) More dumping of gas going into a dogfight.

(56:30) Crews are surprised that Viper is one of the bandits. They would have briefed with him (in accordance with safely of flight rules).

(57:26) Logic of the engagement is ridiculous. Maverick lets Jester go and then flies in parade formation behind Hollywood who’s saddled in super-close behind the other bandit. Hollywood whines at Maverick not to leave him when he should just shoot the bandit right in front of him, and then Maverick leaves to go after Viper and ultimately winds up getting shot because Goose does a shitty job of keeping their six clear (at 59:23).

(57:49) More fuel dumping.

(58:42) HUD display looks nothing like the real thing.

(59:04) Maverick switches to guns but HUD symbology stays the same.

(1:06:16) Iceman transmits, “I need another 20 seconds then I’ve got him” while flying so close that if he took a gun shot he’d probably FOD his own engines with the debris from the airplane in front of him. What does he need 20 seconds for?

(1:06:56) Goose says “Shit, we got a flameout. Engine 1 is out.” The RIO has no engine instruments in the rear cockpit of the F-14.

(1:07:13) Iceman transmits, “Mav’s in trouble. He’s in a flat spin and headed out to sea.” When an airplane is in a flat spin it is not heading anywhere except straight down.

(1:07:22) Goose reports, “Altitude 8,000. 7,000. Six, we’re at six.” They should have ejected already. NATOPS boldface (immediate action steps committed to memory) procedures read like this: “If flat spin verified by flat attitude, increasing yaw rate, increasing eyeball−out G, and lack of pitch and roll rates: 8. Canopy – Jettison. 9. EJECT – RIO Command Eject.”

(1:07:23) Goose says “We’re at six [thousand feet]” while the altimeter shows 2,200 feet.

(1:07:48) See step 8 above. If Goose had followed procedures he wouldn’t have died.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

(1:14:20) A Field Naval Aviator’s Evaluation Board (FNAEB — pronounced “fee-nab”) would not look like a judicial proceeding held in a courtroom.

(1:23:08) Viper tells Maverick about the day his dad died like this: “His F-4 was hit. He was wounded but he could have made it back. He stayed in it. Saved three planes before he bought it.” And Maverick doesn’t respond by saying, “That makes no sense, sir. How does a pilot save three planes after his jet is hit? Why are you bullshitting me?”

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

(1:23:20) Viper explains, “It’s not something the State Department tells dependents when the battle occurred over the wrong lines on some map,” which ignores the fact that the Pentagon would be pissed if some random State Department dude spoke to surviving family members at all.

(1:26:50) Aviators wouldn’t get orders at the Top Gun graduation. They’d get them via a frustrating process of arguing with their detailers on the phone over the period of a few months.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

(1:27:24) Again: What. Is. This. Guy’s. Billet?

(1:28:56) Pilots salute cat officers for launch with oxygen masks off.

(1:29:08) Maverick walks on the flight deck during flight ops without his helmet on.

(1:32:10) Tomcat does an aileron roll right off the cat, which it wouldn’t have the speed to do — not to mention that maneuver would be a gross violation of Case I departure procedures.

(1:33:08) Random lieutenant reports, “Both catapults are broken. We can’t launch any aircraft right now,” which ignores the fact that modern aircraft carriers have four catapults.

(1:34:47) Controller says, “Maverick’s re-engaging, sir.” There’s no way his radar displays would give him any indication of that.

(1:36:41) Ice says, “I’m going for the shot” while at close range behind a bandit, but he switches from ‘Guns’ to ‘Sparrow/Phoenix’ — the long range, forward-quarter weapons.

(1:36:54) Missile magically transforms from an AIM-7 Sparrow into a AIM-9 Sidewinder in flight.

(1:37:48) Maverick shoots a Sparrow in the rear quarter at short range, which wouldn’t work because the AIM-7 needs a lot of closure to guide.

(1:38:02) Again the missile magically transforms from a Sparrow into a Sidewinder in flight.

(1:38:54) Once again Maverick ‘hits the brakes’ by advancing the throttles, which would make the airplane speed up.

(1:39:47) Maverick leads a two-plane fly-by next to the carrier with a wingman that’s been riddled with bullets and most likely has sustained major damage to the hydraulic system that powers the flight controls.

(1:41:14) Iceman says, “You can be my wingman any time,” which ignores the fact that unless he’s the ops officer or schedule officer or squadron CO who signs the flight schedule then he just needs to shut up and fly with whomever he’s assigned to fly with.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

(All photos courtesy of Paramount Pictures except as otherwise indicated.)

Lists

9 WTF? questions Navy recruits have at boot camp

Navy RDCs (Recruit Division Commanders) turn young men and women into trained sailors through the use of strict discipline, naval tradition, alien language, and psychological mind games. The transformation is difficult by design, but Navy recruits who pass are inducted into the mysteries of the deep.


But before any of that happens, the civilian recruit is hit by culture shock, and some wtf questions usually follow shortly thereafter. Here are a few.

Also read: 13 lessons every new sailor learns the hard way

1. “Are you crazy? I have to jump from how high and swim how far?”

 

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Meme: S–t My LPO Says

The Navy is the branch of the military that spends their deployments at sea, which why sailors need to know how to swim. However, you’d be surprised to learn the number of recruits designated to the kiddy pool on swim day. Recruits who fail the swim test take mandatory classes in addition to the unit’s drill schedule until they pass.

2. “What do you mean unf–k myself?”

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Richard J. Brunson/USN

Don’t bother explaining yourself to the RDC, just fix it.

3. “I didn’t call you a sorry Petty Officer. I said, ‘Sorry, Petty Officer.'”

“Sorry” would be the polite thing to say in the civilian world, but not at boot camp. Many recruits are shocked at the RDC’s reply to “sorry.” Recruits are better off saying, “Aye aye Petty Officer.”

4. “WTF is Freedom Hall? Is that where we take a break from all this training?”

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Freedom Hall Physical Fitness Facility at RTC Great Lakes. (Photo: Scott A. Thornbloom/USN)

Freedom Hall is the Physical Fitness Facility at Recruit Training Command. Basically, it’s just a big indoor track. Don’t expect to see weights or obstacle courses, since Navy recruits run and do calisthenics for exercise.

5. “I can’t keep my eyes open. When do we get to sleep?”

Sailors get little to no sleep upon arriving at boot camp. Sleep is regularly interrupted by RDC inspections, roving watchstanders, head counts, and the occasional group punishment caused by talking shipmates.

6. “Why am I being punished? I wasn’t the one who messed up.”

This is the beginning of team building. If someone messes up, everyone suffers.

7. “WTF do you mean these uniforms are deducted from my paycheck?”

 

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Photo: Scott A. Thornbloom/USN

Terrible haircuts, tighty whities, and hygiene products are deducted from recruits’ below-minimum-wage salaries.

8. “WTF is this Monopoly Money? I thought I was going to get paid in bills, not chits.”

During boot camp sailors are given chits – paper notes used as money – to purchase their toiletries and other products from Ricky Heaven (the only store and recreation center at boot camp). This “Monopoly money” is deducted from their pay, but the surprise usually causes a wtf moment.

9. “Wait, why do I have to remove my gas mask? Isn’t the point of wearing the mask to protect me from the gas?”


navy recruits
Photo: Wikimedia Commons

The gas chamber teaches recruits to trust their equipment and focus on the task at hand. This exercise starts with the RDC explaining the logistics of the evolution followed by the effect of CS (Chlorobenzylidene-malononitrile) gas: crying, sneezing, breathing difficulty, temporary blindness, drooling, runny nose, itching, and skin irritation. These recruits in this picture are cupping their mouths because they’re prohibited from vomiting or drooling in the chamber. Violating this rule results in staying behind to clean up after themselves.

NOW: 5 brilliant military hacks that are useless everywhere else

OR: 7 lies sailors tell their parents while deployed

popular

13 old school war movies every young trooper needs to watch

“American Sniper,” “Dunkirk,” and “Fury” are just a few the great war films that have hit theaters with in the last few years. These films help inspire today’s youngsters to consider joining the military.


In the next few decades, they will be remembered as among “The Classics” when it comes to ranking war movies.

But as we move forward, the classic war movies that inspired our past generations are the ones that helped get the modern day war films greenlit. Because of this, we should always recognize and never forget them — ever.

Grab your popcorn and check out our list of classic war films every young trooper should watch.

1. The Great Escape

Steve McQueen stars in this epic WWII film about a group of POWs trying to escape from a German prison camp.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Source: United Artist/Screenshot)

2. Kelly’s Heroes

Directed by Brian G. Hutton, the film follows a group of American troops who travel deep behind enemy lines to retrieve some Nazi treasure.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

3. Paths of glory

This classic stars Kurt Douglas as Col. Dax, an officer who attempts to defend his troops who are accused of cowardice while fighting in the dangerous trenches of WWI.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Source: United Artists)

4. Hamburger Hill

Directed by John Irvin, this story depicts one of the bloodiest American battles to take place during the hectic Vietnam War.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Source: Paramount)

5. Apocalypse Now!

This film is considered one of the greatest movies ever produced. The story follows Capt. Willard’s journey to locate and assassinate a renegade Army colonel during the Vietnam War.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Source: MGM)

6. The Green Berets

John Wayne plays Col. Mike Kirby, an Army Special Forces officer tasked with two vital missions consisting of building a camp and kidnapping a North Vietnamese General.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Source: WB)

7. Sands of Iwo Jima

This time John Wayne plays Sgt. John Stryker, a Marine who puts his men through his rough style of training to prepare them to fight in one of the Corps’ most historic battles.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Source: Paramount)

8. Midway

Directed by Jack Smight, this classic tale re-enacts the American victory at the Battle of Midway — considered one of the most critical turning points in the Pacific during World War II.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Source: Iniversal)

9. Patton

This 1970 film focuses on the incredible career of Gen. George S. Patton during WWII.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Source: Fox)

10. To Hell and Back

In this 1955 release, real life war hero Audie Murphy plays himself in the story of how he became one of the most decorated soldiers in U.S. history.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Source: Universal)

11. The Dirty Dozen

This epic motion picture follows Maj. Reisman, a rebellious soldier assigned to train a dozen convicted murders to carry out a deadly mission to kill multiple German officers.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Source: MGM/Screenshot)

12. The Fighting Seabees

John Wayne plays Lt. Cmdr. Wedge Donovon, a construction worker building military bases in the Pacific. After they come under fierce attack from Japanese forces, the Seabees have to defend themselves at all costs.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Source: Republic)

13. The D.I.

Directed and starring Jack Webb, this film follows one of the toughest Marine drill instructors to ever serve on Parris Island as he pushes a recruit platoon through basic training.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Source: Mark VII)

Can you think of any other? Comment below.

Lists

6 of the most outrageous WWIII video games, ranked

Predicting the future through popular fiction is always a headache. One specific (and inevitable) war, however, has been the setting for many works of exploratory fiction. Everyone has come up with their own unique twist on how the World War Trilogy is going to end because global audiences demand an over-the-top-ending to their trilogies.


Video games set in a fictional World War III span the range of plausibility and, accordingly, audience reception. Early games, like 1981’s Missile Command, were simple enough as to not raise eyebrows and breathtaking, modern games, like Battlefield 4 and Arma 3take a more down-to-earth approach.

But then there are the absolutely ridiculous games that hinge on insane premises, like that the next World War will involve us fighting our would-be robot overlords by the distant year 2010.

6. Terminator: Salvation (2009)

Yes, we were not-so-subtly pointing at this game. To the Terminator franchise’s credit, they were pretty optimistic about how advanced future technology would be back when the series kicked off in 1984.

But when this game references its own timeline as being “13 years after Judgement Day,” which, according to the films, was on Aug. 29, 1997, they effectively put all of one year between the game’s release and the over-the-top, dystopian futurescape… there’s just no excuse for that silliness.

We could forgive the game’s plot if it wasn’t so bad… even by 2009 standards.

5. Chromehounds (2006)

Like some of the other games on this list, alternate history is used to explain away inconsistencies. Chromehounds is a giant robot simulator that pits three fictional nations against each other that are totally not based on America, the USSR, and the Middle East.

You could customize your mech and choose a nation to fight under in real time against other players. The game was enjoyable while it lasted, but the servers shut down in 2010.

The world needs more customizable mech simulators.

4. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 (2011)

Compared to many of the other first-person shooters set in WWIII, Call of Duty: MW3 upped the ante. Sure, the story follows many of the standard tropes for WWIII — some Russian guy is evil, Europe gets invaded again, and *gasp* nuclear war is threatened.

What made 2011’s installment of Call of Duty so spectacular was that, during the single-player campaign, you got to live out all the action in various roles throughout the world. You play as several characters, all with unique backstories, while you hunt down the big bad.

The ending is just so, so satisfying.

3. Homefront: The Revolution (2016)

Based off the premise that North Korea takes over the world, this game is set in an alternate history where the hermit kingdom’s tech industry isn’t as laughable as it is in our timeline. The game places you in a Red Dawn-esque world where you need to start an underground resistance against Communist invaders.

The game wasn’t without faults — mainly in the narrative and character-development departments — but immersive open-world gameplay, complete weapon customization, and a level of difficulty that made you think through every action made the game stand out.

Wolverines!!!

2. Raid Over Moscow (1984)

Cold War-era games about the Cold War were the best. Originally released on the Commodore 64, Raid Over Moscow‘s story begins when three Soviet nukes launch and you’re the only space-pilot able to stop it. You fight your way through to the Kremlin (which, apparently, was the missile silo for all of the USSR’s nukes) before blowing it up. The most unbelievable thing about this game is that it goes out of its way to explain that America can’t just nuke them back because all US nukes were dismantled.

At the time, the game was fairly controversial. European nations were uneasy about selling a game that directly portrayed the destruction of the Kremlin. Unfortunately for them, the controversy only made European citizens want the game more.

Ahh, the good ol’ days when people feared 8-bit graphics could start an international incident.

1. Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2 (2001)

No WWIII game comes close to offering the same level of enjoyment and ridiculousness as Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2. To cut a very long and very confusing story short, Albert Einstein creates a time machine to kill a young Hitler. This leads the Soviets to grow unchecked and, in their liberty, research mind-control technology. And that’s just the first game.

This time around, you need to fight a psychic Rasputin stand-in — or you could choose to play as the Soviets. This game and its expansion pack, Yuri’s Revenge, are considered classics. You’ll need to play through it to understand, really.

The silly live-action cutscenes just make the game that much more hilarious.

Articles

8 brutally honest depictions of vets and troops in fiction

We sometimes overlook the accurate and fantastic portrayals of veterans and troops in fiction, instead criticizing Hollywood’s typical depiction of us as hyper-macho, high-speed ass-kicking machines or broken and fragile husks of human beings.


For a good portion of the armed services, this is far from the truth. This isn’t a grunt versus POG (Person Other than Grunt) thing. It’s a symptom of the civilian-military divide.

There seems to be a perpetual cycle of fiction blowing real military service out of proportion. Civilians who never interacted with service members often believe that fictional portrayal.

Let’s be honest. Veterans are combating the stigma, but it’s an uphill battle.

Hell, most of the stories we tell at bars aren’t helping.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
No judging. I will totally back up your claim as a Space Shuttle Door Gunner.

This one goes out to the creators, writers, directors, and actors that gave the world a veteran and stayed away from the stigma. Either intentionally or not, these characters either embody what it was truly like in the service or have exceptional moments that can overlook some of the more silly moments.

If you can think of any others left out, leave them in the comment section.

1. Sgt. Bill Dauterive – “King of the Hill”

Though the 022 MOS doesn’t exist anymore, Bill from “King of the Hill” was a U.S. Army Barber. There are several episodes dedicated to his military service. The 2007 episode “Bill, Bulk and the Body Buddies” even revolved around him trying to get in shape to pass his APFT.

How he manages to go on all the adventures in the show and not be considered AWOL is also a plot point.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Character by Mike Judge and Fox Studios)

2. Capt. Frank Castle, aka “The Punisher” – Marvel Comics

Not every superhero gets their powers from a science experiment, being an alien, or just being super rich.

Frank Castle, The Punisher, learned his skills in the Marine Corps. Sure. He’s an extreme representation of a veteran. But The Punisher earns his spot on this list because of Jon Bernthal’s monologue in Season 2 of “Daredevil.” His performance and his story about his return from a deployment hits close to home for many people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdMQk2fL_qA

(YouTube, Rastifan)

3. King Robert Baratheon – A Song of Fire and Ice, “Game of Thrones”

Let’s take away medieval fantasy elements of “Game of Thrones” and recognize that Robert Baratheon used to be a proud, respected, and feared soldier on the front lines.

Ever since putting his service behind him, he got fat, grew a glorious beard, spent his time drinking, hunting, and talking about his glory days. Sound like anyone you know from your old unit?

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Character by George RR Martin and HBO)

4. Pfc. Donny Novitski and his band — “Bandstand”

A Tony Award winning musical may seem an unlikely place to find a true to life depiction of a WWII veteran, but it’s the only Broadway musical with an official “Got Your 6” certification.

The musical is about a group of young vets returning home who form a band to try to reach stardom (the same half thought out plan we all had while we were downrange).

The lead character, Donny, spends most of the story showing his bandmates and the world their sacrifice and talents.

Veterans who’ve seen the show praise it. At the end of every show, they thank the troops around the world and dedicate each performance to a different veteran.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Characters by Richard Oberacker)

5. Capt. Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce – “M*A*S*H”

The Capt. Hawkeye character is beloved by many for its accuracy. He was drafted right after his medical residency to deploy to the Korean War. Everything about his character was a fresh change to the ordinary war hero cliche.

He resented the Army for drafting him. Each loss of life affected him as the series progressed. He used humor to help cope with the daily stress of combat.

In the 1978 episode “Commander Pierce,” Hawkeye is temporarily in charge of the 4077th. For one episode, he drastically made the very real change to become the leader that his soldiers needed before reverting back to fit the semi-episodic formula.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Character by Richard Hooker and CBS)

6. Capt. Kathryn Janeway – “Star Trek: Voyager”

While on the topic of the burdens of leadership, the character that best exemplifies this is the commander of the USS Voyager. Many of the ongoing struggles in the series revolve around how Capt. Kathryn Janeway deals with the safety of the crew, the dream of returning home, and hiding her internal doubt.

Oh, and she always drinks coffee, and she always drinks it black.

via GIPHY

 7. Master Sgt. Abraham Simpson – “The Simpsons”

The senile grandpa of the Simpson family is often the butt of many jokes. His long term memory is hazy and his short term memory isn’t any better.

But then there’s the 1996 “Flying Hellfish” episode. Art and story-wise, this episode is vastly different from most, and is regarded as one of the best in the series.

Grandpa Abe and Bart go on an adventure to reclaim the treasure Abe found back in World War II. Back in the day, Grandpa was a very competent and tactful leader.

When his unit, which also included series antagonist Mr. Burns, discover a fortune in stolen Nazi paintings, they place a life bet on who keeps them.

While Mr. Burns is willing to kill for the prize, Abe still holds onto his honor and loyalty to his unit after all those years. At the end, when the paintings are confiscated by police, Abe tells his grandson why he went after the paintings. “It was to show you that I wasn’t always a pathetic old kook,” he said.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Character by Matt Groening and Fox Studios)

8. Sgt. Donald Duck – Disney

The sailor suit he always wears isn’t just for show or stolen valor, Donald Duck legitimately was in the Navy and Army Air Force (hence why, in 1984, he was officially given the rank of sergeant and discharge by the real world Army on his 50th anniversary).

Hear me out on this.

In World War I, Walt Disney attempted to join the U.S. Army but was rejected for being too young. He then forged documents to join the Red Cross.

In France, the cartoons he sketched grabbed the attention of Stars and Stripes, later becoming the icon we all know today. In WWII, his love of country and understanding of how propaganda worked lead Disney to use Donald Duck to help the troops.

The “Buck Sergeant Duck” was used in counter-propoganda cartoons and recruitment shorts, even winning an Oscar for “Der Feuhrer’s Face.”

His time in both the Army and Navy is well depicted in many forms — from cartoons to comics. In “DuckTales,” Donald leaves his nephews because he’s being shipped out, which starts the series. The cartoon “Donald Gets Drafted” shows Donald learning (in an exaggerated manner) that recruiters sometimes tell fibs to get bodies in the door.

Even his short temper, aggression, loud voice, cynical attitude, and unprovoked tantrums aren’t a concept lost on veterans.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
(Character by Walt Disney and Disney)

Articles

9 Military Categories The Oscars Forgot

Sure, the Academy Awards have categories like “Best Actor” and “Best Adapted Screenplay,’ and, yes, military movies like “American Sniper” and “The Imitation Game” are in the mix this year. But all of that falls somewhat short of capturing the true military cinematic essence that this year’s crop of films produced. Here are nine categories that the Oscars forgot and the winners in each:


1. Best Misuse Of Government Property By A Leading Man: Bradley Cooper, “American Sniper”

Because Bradley Cooper’s Chris Kyle was a super badass sniper, he had a phone so that generals and even the president could call him to tell him who he should put the crosshairs on next. What did Cooper’s Kyle use the phone for?  To call his wife, usually right before a firefight was about to break out.  And once it did he wouldn’t hang up (in order not to alarm her or anything).

2. Best Use of Kristen Stewart’s Bitch Face By An Actress In A Leading Role: Kristen Stewart, “Camp X-Ray”

Kristen Stewart plays a U.S. Army guard at Gitmo who develops a sympathetic relationship – through a prison door – with one of the detainees.  But her sympathy is buried under the same expression she’s used in every movie she’s ever been in, that signature bitchy pouty girl face, so it’s hard to tell when she’s sympathetic and when she’s bored or pissed off. But, hey, like B.B. King said, “You can play just one note if it’s the right one.” We say bravo, Ms. Stewart.

3. Best Supporting Actor In A Role About The Fact All Vets Are Doomed: Brad Hawkins, “Boyhood”

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

Brilliantly filmed over a 12-year period, director Richard Linklater’s gem focuses on the life of a sometimes single mom and her two kids.  The mom’s third love interest is a returning vet who’s just back from Iraq. He seems like a nice, well-adjusted guy, but after a while he’s holding down a job as a prison guard and sitting on the front porch guzzling beer and yelling at the son about being a good-for-nothing, which is to say they got it exactly right because that’s what always happens to returning vets.

4. Best Portrayal Of The Perils Of Having Sex In Combat: “Fury”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uAKbSLsXxg

Brad Pitt’s Sherman tank crew stumble across the home of a war-weary German family with a hot daughter, and they enjoy a bit of normalcy. One of the crew hooks up with the daughter, and once they’re done the crew leaves and minutes later the family’s house gets blown to smithereens by an air strike.

5. Best WTFO? Moment: “300 – Rise of Empires”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb6w6Qz55jc

In the middle of a kick ass war-at-sea between ancient sailing ships, General Themistocles suddenly produces a horse that he rides all over the deck while slashing and stabbing his foe.  But it really gets good when the horse – without any hesitation – gallops through flaming wreckage, leaps into the water, and then jumps onto an enemy ship where Themistocles continues his savaging of the enemy – truly the year’s best WTFO? military movie moment.

6. Most Dramatic Flame-out Of A Military Movie Franchise: “Jarhead 2”

Three words: Straight. To. DVD.

7. Best Actress In A Role About The Joys Of Being A Military Mom: Michelle Monaghan “Ft. Bliss”

Michelle Monaghan plays a single mom soldier who returns home after 15 months in Iraq only to find that her 6-year-old son has forgotten who she is.  (What, did the rest of family hide all the pictures of her? And no Skype?) About the point her son starts to warm to her she’s sent back to Iraq because that’s how the Army rolls.  If the military wanted you to have a kid they would have issued you one.

8. Most Groundbreaking Guerrilla Warfare Sequence: “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes”

One of the conniving chimps uses cute chimp moves to mollify two humans just long enough to get one of their automatic weapons and blow them away with it.

9. Best Actor In A Role About The Tortured Souls Of Those In The Intelligence Community: Benedict Cumberbatch, “The Imitation Game”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5CjKEFb-sM

Cumberbatch plays Alan Turing, the intel genius who knows a thing or two about code breaking.  Cumberbatch’s Turing is at odds with his sexual orientation and anti-social and basically pained by everything in his life – in other words, he’s a lot like most of those in the intel community.

Humor

5 awful hand salutes that don’t even come close

From greeting a superior officer, showing homage to the American flag, or paying respect to a fallen comrade — saluting is a powerful non-verbal communication gesture for showing proper respect.


With no real written record of how or where the tradition began, the salute dates back far in history when troops would raise their right hand (or their weapon hand) as a signal of friendship.

Back in the days, the subordinate person hand-gestured first in the presence of a superior who would then respond accordingly, which is the same practice used today — lower-ranking personnel salute higher ranking first.

Recruits learn how to hand salute in boot camp and demonstrate it hundreds of times before heading out to active duty. The gesture becomes instant as muscle memory takes over.

But many civilians nowadays salute as a form of celebration — and they get it so so wrong.

Related: 35 technical errors in ‘Rules of Engagement’

So check out our list of awful hand salutes that weren’t even close.

(Seriously — where are the military consultants?)

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

The over-the-top salute. (Image via Giphy)

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

He needs lessons…badly. (Image via Giphy)

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

Chris Evans (some talk show)

Also Read: 5 epic military movie mistakes

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

He made this list freakin’ twice. (Image via Giphy)

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

You know we couldn’t leave this one out. (Source: WB/ YouTube/ Screenshot)

Steven Seagal (Under Siege)

Can you think of any others?

Humor

5 nuggets of wisdom in ‘Three Kings’ you may have missed

Greed, redemption, and ultimately doing the right thing are just some of the themes stated in David O. Russell’s 1999 classic hit “Three Kings.”


Set in the days after the end of Operation Desert Storm, four American soldiers head out on a quest to locate a sh*t ton of gold Saddam Hussein stole so they can steal it for themselves. But they end up on a crazy journey that causes them to help the local population and divert them far from their original selfish plan.

Related: 5 nuggets of wisdom in ‘Black Hawk Down’ you may have missed

Peel back the layers of the film and check out a few nuggets of wisdom you may have missed in the story.

1. The reasoning of modern day warfare

It’s big business for the media covering a war — maybe a little too much business that pulls the decision makers away from the real issues.

They’ll always be media wars. (Images via Giphy)

2. Everyone’s perception varies

When sh*t goes down, and bullets go flying, some people see things that didn’t happen.

That would have been pretty cool to see. (Images via Giphy)What really happened.Why didn’t he have the daylight sight already up? (Images via Giphy)

3. America always changes the plan at the last second

When we head into a battle, we always seem to have a great insertion plan.

See what we mean. Most military plans go to sh*t quickly. (Images via Giphy)But our extraction strategies seems to always go to sh*t, and someone always gets shot.Then all hell breaks lose. (Images via Giphy)

4. News reporters need to stay away

Although this is a movie, sometimes news reporters will get themselves into trouble by going too deep into a story, which can potentially get good people killed.

You may want to think about taking cover, lady. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: 6 pearls of wisdom we learned from War Daddy in ‘Fury’

5. Finishing something you didn’t start

With the original intention of stealing gold, the “Three Kings” ended up giving away nearly everything to get their refugee friends to safety and fulfilling a soldier’s promise and honor.

The end. (Images via Giphy)

Articles

3 reasons why Airwolf is more badass than the F-35

Okay, you’ve heard all the complaints about the F-35. It’s super-expensive. It’s got problems getting ready for combat. But in the real world, there’s no other option. And as WATM has already explained, the Marine Corps desperately needs to replace its F/A-18 Hornets.


9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Airwolf about to blow through two bandits. (Youtube Screenshot)

But suppose, instead of blowing their RD money on the F-35, the Air Force, Navy, and Marines had decided to pull out File A56-7W and instead replicate Airwolf? They’d have gotten a much better deal – and it might even have helped the Army, too.

Airwolf’s specs (click here for another source) reveal this helicopter already took advantage of some stealth technology, had modern ECM systems and sensors, and very heavy armament (four 30mm cannon, two 40mm cannon, and various air-to-air and air-to-ground missiles). All in all, it’s very powerful, even if it was the brainchild of one of the big TV showrunners of the 1980s and 1990s.

So, why does it beat the F-35? Here are some of the reasons.

1. It can operate off any ship

With a top speed of over Mach 2, Airwolf may have the performance of a fighter jet, but it takes off and lands like a helicopter – without the need for the complex mechanisms used on the V-22 Osprey.

Think of it this way; with Airwolf in its hanger deck every surface combatant and amphibious ship could carry what amounts to a Generation 4.5 fighter. Even the Littoral Combat Ships could handle Airwolf, giving them a lot more punch in a fight than they currently have.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Airwolf can land anywhere this MH-60R can land. (U.S. Navy Photo by Petty Officer 3rd Class Sean M. Castellano)

2. It would replace more airframes than the F-35 would

The F-35 is replacing the AV-8B Harrier, F/A-18 Hornet, F-16 Fighting Falcon, and A-10 Thunderbolt II in U.S. service. Airwolf not only would replace all four of those airframes, but it would also replace all of the AH-1 and AH-64 helicopters in Marine Corps and Army service. The promise of the TFX program as originally envisioned in the 1960s could be fulfilled at last!

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
A look at Airwolf’s ADF pod and chain guns. (Youtube Screenshot)

3. Better performance

According to an Air Force fact sheet, the F-35 has a top speed of Mach 1.6, a ceiling of 50,000 feet, and a range of 1,350 miles without refueling. Airwolf hits a top speed of Mach 2, a ceiling of 100,000 feet, and a range of 1,450 miles.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious
Full-size replica of the Airwolf at the Tennessee Museum of Aviation, Sevierville, Tennessee. (Photo from Wikimedia Commons)

In other words, Airwolf would have the F-35 beat in some crucial areas. Now, the F-35 might have an advantage in terms of payload (fixed-wing planes usually have that edge), but the fact remains, Airwolf would have been a very viable candidate for that competition – and might have had the edge, given that the Army would have bought airframes to replace the Apache.

Oh, and here’s the Season 1 opener, just for kicks:

Lists

4 ways nicknames in the military are nothing like in pop culture

Movies would have you believe that every unit has a guy nicknamed “Hawkeye” or “Snake” or some other generic, tough name. As fun as films and video games make those monikers seem, it just doesn’t work that way in real life.

In actuality, nicknames fall into one of four categories: Either the troop is a freakin’ legend, it’s the unit’s name plus a number or letter, it’s just a shortened version of their last name, or it’s an insult in disguise.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://assets.rbl.ms/17941332/980x.jpg image-library=”0″ pin_description=”” caption=”Unless you’re a BAMF, don’t expect an awesome one.” crop_info=”%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//assets.rbl.ms/17941332/980x.jpg%22%7D” alt=”saint mattis of quantico” expand=1 photo_credit=”(OAF Nation)”] (OAF Nation)


9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

Even with all of The Punisher swag that Chris Kyle wore, he never insisted that anyone call him “The Punisher” — even if he was one of the few people on Earth worthy of that title.

The legends

Let’s kick this list off with the freakin’ legends. Take Secretary of Defense James “Warrior Monk” Mattis for example. He’s a highly revered military mind within the U.S. Armed Forces and his nickname reflects that.

As is the case with most nicknames, they’re typically invented and popularized by others — not by the legends themselves. These nicknames are even more intimidating when they’re created by the enemy. Chris “the Legend” Kyle, for example, was known as “Al-Shaitan Ramad,” which translates into “the Devil of Ramadi.”

The reason why both Kyle and Mattis have such badass nicknames is because they earned them.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

Why, yes. They do call me “Romeo” for a reason…

(Photo by Cpl. Charles Santamaria)

Call signs

People often confuse nicknames with call signs, so let’s hash the difference right now. Call signs are official unit designations given to members of the chain of command. Sometimes, a call sign will become more familiar than your own name.

If you’re, let’s say, the company commander of the alpha company “Spartans,” you’ll get the designation of “Spartan 6.” The XO gets “Spartan 5,” Senior Enlisted gets “Spartan 7,” and so on. Drivers, gunners, and radio operators can swap out the number designation for D, G, and R, respectively.

9 Recipes to make your MREs actually taste delicious

“Hey, Ski!” “…which one?”

(Photo by Sgt. Lauren Harrah)

Butchered last name

The next nickname variation is especially terrible if your last name is anything outside of the standard, common English name. Unless you’re a “Smith” or a “Brown” or a “Johnson,” no one is going to try to pronounce what’s on your name tape — no matter how phonetically simple it may seem.

A whole nine letters broken into three syllables — you know, something simple like Milzarski (pronounced Mil-zar-ski) is too complicated. So, most will just shorten it to “Ski.” Good luck if there’s more than one Polish troop in the squad. Not that I’m ranting or anything…

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If it’s dumb and it sounds like an insult, don’t take it personally. It’s meant with brotherly love.

(U.S. Army)

Remember when you screwed up?

The most common way to get yourself a nickname of your very own is to f*ck up. Don’t worry if it’s not a record-shattering mistake — people will constantly remind you of what you did. It’s not pleasant and it’s usually a way to rib one another, but you don’t want to be known as “Fumbles” by everyone.

Don’t worry if you get one of these dumb names. It’ll pass as soon as you PCS or ETS.