11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds - We Are The Mighty
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11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

Army and Marine first sergeants have to talk a lot, considering their duties as company-level senior enlisted leaders. While they primarily act as advisors to company commanders and deal with administrative issues, they sometimes say things that drive troops crazy.


1. “It would behoove you … “

Often used by first sergeants to tell troops that it would be a good idea to do something — “it would behoove you to wear your eye-pro on the range” — it’s often overused and mispronounced as “bee-who-of-you.”

 

2. “Hey there, gents”

Short for gentlemen, first sergeants sometimes refer to their troops as gents. Of course, this is totally fine and not a big deal, except when you are called a gent all of the time.

3. “Utilize”

According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, “utilize” means to use. So stop making a word choice so complicated and just freaking say use.

4. “All this and a paycheck too!”

In the Army and Marine Corps, you get to work out, shoot stuff, and blow things up, and you get paid for it. It’s often pretty fun — who doesn’t love explosives?! — but the “all this and a paycheck too!” comment from the first sergeant doesn’t usually come at these moments. It comes at halfway point of a 20-mile hike when you are sucking wind and hoping for death.

Also, you make way more than everyone else here. And is that a pillow in your rucksack?

5. “If you’re gonna drive, don’t drink. If you’re gonna drink, don’t drive.”

Just one of the many things first sergeant mentions in his lengthy talk before allowing the company to leave for the weekend, “if you’re gonna drive, don’t drink” is solid advice that should be followed. But it’s also part of a boring brief that he repeats word-for-word EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK.

Other phrases troops may hear during the libo brief include, “If you’re gonna tap it, wrap it,” and “take care of each other out there.” In first sergeant’s defense, he’s required to give this brief to cover his own butt, in addition to it being a hopeless attempt at avoiding the inevitable 3am phone call to come on Saturday.

 

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Photo Credit: Sgt. Jennifer Pirante/US Marine Corps

6. “The first sergeant”

When you pick up staff non-commissioned officer in the Army or Marine Corps, they must take you in a room and tell you that you can start talking in the third-person, because it happens a lot. Hearing about what “the first sergeant” would do, as opposed to what “I” would do is eye-roll worthy.

“The first sergeant would make sure to let his battle buddy know.”

7. “Good to go? / Hooah?”

First sergeants like to use common catchphrases to make sure their troops understand. While a “good to go?” makes sense to gauge whether troops are listening, when it comes after every sentence in the liberty brief, it can get old very quick. For Army first sergeants and others, it’s pretty common to use the motivational “hooah” in a questioning manner. Hooah?

8. “We got a lot of moving parts here.”

Let’s not get wrapped around the axle here, gents. We’ve got battalion formation in the A.M., the general is coming in, so we need to be there at 0400, good to go? We got a lot of moving parts here, so let’s try to all stay on the same page, good to go?

9. “Give me three bodies!”

If you ever need a great example of language that makes you feel like you are just a number in the military, look no further than someone asking “for bodies.” What first sergeant means here is that he needs three motivated U.S. Marines to carry out a working party.

“Just get my goddamn bodies, turd.”

“Roger, first sergeant.”

10. “You trackin’?”

Often used just like “good to go?” or “Hooah?” the phrase “you trackin’?” is first sergeant’s other way of making sure we all understand. We’re all looking in your direction, listening to the words you are saying, tracking along just fine.

11. “Got any saved rounds?”

Last but certainly not least is the phrase “got any saved rounds?” which is a way of asking if anyone has anything to add. This one usually comes at the end of long meetings and should be followed by complete silence, so we can get out of this godforsaken room.

Inevitably, Carl over there is going to say something.

So, got any saved rounds? Any phrases we missed? Let us know in the comments.

SEE ALSO: Legendary Gen. James Mattis has an inspiring message for all Post-9/11 veterans

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of Nov. 4

Well, if you’re reading this, you survived Halloween. Good job. Now get ready to get your leave forms kicked back because it’s time for the holidays!


1. You figure the first General of the Air Force since Hap Arnold would like his job a little (via Air Force Nation).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Most believable part of his password? No special characters were used.

2. It’s too late to take those life decisions back (via The Salty Soldier).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
But it’s not too late to dodge the retention NCO.

3. The Coast Guard is happy with even the minimal amount of love (via Coast Guard Memes).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
We see you, Coast Guard. We see you.

4. Take this seriously. Your ability to spot them could determine your survival (via Military Memes).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Notice how their dinosaur pattern blends in with the desolate wasteland of Best Korea.

5. The maintainers I met were more of the swamp-thing-with-a-mustache type (via Air Force Memes Humor).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
But maybe that was just at Pope AFB.

6. The nice thing about Navy surgeons is that you don’t have to pay either way!

(via Military Memes)

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Plus, they can identify most of the bones. Like, way more than half of them.

7. When the weekend warriors win so hard that you can’t even mock them:

(via Military Memes)

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Good job, nasty girls. Good job.

8. “Crossing into the blue” is when you’re done with the bleach and move on to the window cleaner (via Air Force Nation).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
The starter packs for all military E1s to E3s are surprisingly similar.

9. Accurate (via Military Nations).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Say a prayer for the poor NCOs who have to fix this.

10. Go anywhere. Park anywhere (via Coast Guard Memes).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
But watch out for power lines and tree branches.

11. Don’t get between the general and his chow (via Military Memes).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

12. “The night air is so clear! You can see all the stars and tangos!”

(via Military Memes)

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

13. Hey, as long as he gets the cavities out (via Navy Memes).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
He’ll probably get every single bad tooth out in one try.

Lists

6 respectful facts about the Sentinels who guard Arlington’s Tomb of the Unknowns

It doesn’t matter if the sun is shining, if a hurricane is passing through Washington, DC or if a Tomb Guard accidentally gets stabbed in the foot. There will always be an American soldier of the highest caliber “walking the mat” at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. For 24 hours a day, seven days a week since 1937 there has always been a guard on watch.

tomb sentinel at arlington national cemetary
Photo by Elizabeth Fraser, Arlington National Cemetery

Stationed at Arlington National Cemetery’s most popular tourist attraction, the Tomb Sentinels have the hardest and most coveted job in the entire U.S. Army. No other special assignment has such strict standards, and for good reason. 

But there is a lot that goes into being the most visible symbol of America’s dedication and honor for its fallen heroes that the public may not know about. 

1. They don’t wear rank insignia for a reason

Unlike every American soldier, sailor, airman or Marine, the guards at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier do not wear rank insignia on their coats when guarding the tomb. Since the fallen inside the tomb are unknown, and no one knows what rank they actually were, Tomb Guards don’t wear visible rank so they don’t outrank who they might be guarding. 

Only when the relief commanders come out to change the guard, do they wear an NCO’s rank. Their actual rank is separate from the uniform they wear while on duty at the tomb.

2. The Tomb Guard Badge is the 3rd least awarded badge in the Army

In third place behind the Military Horseman Identification Badge and the Astronaut Badge, acquiring the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier Guard Identification Badge is not just rare, it’s incredibly difficult. Only 20% of applicants are accepted for training and the washout rate is astronomical. 

3. It’s not a job, it’s a lifestyle. 

This is not just a lifestyle in the way that the Army life is a different way of life. When serving as a Tomb Guard, the job becomes your life for 18 months. The average sentinel take 8 hours to prepare everything required to go on duty for his next and that shift is a 24-hour shift. 

4. Being on duty means the world’s strictest schedule

Tomb Sentinels stand two-hour watches in 24 hour shifts. In that time, they will repeatedly count to 21, which is representative of the 21-gun salute, the highest military honor given. The guard’s motions are a seven step process.

tomb sentinel
  • A 21 step march down the 63-foot-long black mat.
  • A turn toward the Tomb for 21 seconds.
  • A turn and face the opposite direction of the mat, weapon change to outside shoulder, and wait 21 seconds.
  • March 21 steps down the mat.
  • Turn and face the tomb for 21 seconds.
  • Turn and face the opposite direction, weapon shifted to outside shoulder, and wait 21 seconds.
  • Repeats the routine until the soldier is relieved at the Changing of the Guard.

5. The weapons and the gloves used to handle them are special

The gloves worn by Tomb Sentinels are usually wet to give them better control of the rifle in their hand as they switch it from shoulder to shoulder. Their weapons are special versions of whatever infantry rifle is standard issue at the time they’re posted, with ceremonial stocks. Currently, they use a fully functional but unloaded and well-cleaned M-14. 

Non-commissioned officers wear a special sidearm during the Changing of the guard ceremony. The pistol is also whatever is standard-issue for the Army, but Sig-Sauer, the company that makes the Army’s standard-issue sidearm, created four special pistols just for the Old Guard, which includes wood from a ship that served in the Spanish-American War.

Read: These pistols are carried by NCOs at the Tomb of the Unknowns

6. The guards aren’t there for show

The Army originally placed guards at the Tomb of the Unknown to deter picnickers from having lunch on top of the hallowed gravesite. In the years that followed, the threat to the tomb became greater than having a good view during lunch and guards are posted to keep people from defacing or touching the monument. or even failing to show proper respect. 

These are not the Buckingham Palace guards, and they will take steps to deter any encroachment on the tomb, by any means necessary.

Humor

4 types of recruiters you’ll meet at the mall

Recruiters are well-practiced in convincing young adults that military service is the best option to propel them into a happy, successful future. We’ve all seen the recruiting posters that show off a mighty lookin’ Marine or a tough soldier and we’ve all seen the highly polished ads on TV, but nothing beats the personal touch of a skilled recruiter.

Some recruiters will travel miles to find young prospects and get them interested in military service. However, there’s one place where you’ll find almost always youngsters in nearly any town — the freakin’ mall.

Shopping malls are the ultimate grounds for recruiters to swoop in and scoop up their next contract. Every recruiter is different, but we’re willing to bet that if you enlisted at a mall, you ran into one of these four archetypes:


11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

That’s right, you better stand at modified parade rest.

(Photo by Andrea Stone)

The one who expects you to have some military bearing

Some recruiters are laid back, but others take a more aggressive approach and instruct potential recruits on the proper way to speak as an active service member.

You might think that being stern and strict would turn the younger crowd away, but, to our surprise, that rigid military bearing is exactly what some want.

He’s good at his

The one who is good with parents

Joining the military is a big decision. The fact is that many youngsters aren’t accustomed to making such important choices.

A smart recruiter knows that nothing is more reassuring than a parent’s good word. So, you’ll likely find a recruiter whose best work is done schmoozing with mom and dad.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

If you join today, you might get to drive a government car, just like me.

The parking lot patroller

Mall recruiters aren’t just on the hunt for window shoppers. Nope! They’re out searching for you before you even step foot inside the shopping center. They pretend like they’ve met you before to strike up a conversation. It’s all a tactic to get you into their office.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

Sure you could join the Air Force, but you won’t look as cool in their uniform.

The reverse psychologist

Recruiters are up against monthly quotas. In order to make their numbers, they need to use every tool in their kit. This means finding a way to beat out the other branches in the event that two are scoping the same potential recruit. Some recruiters will use reverse psychology on you, making sly like, “you probably couldn’t handle the Marines anyway.”

Some will see right through it, but others feel compelled to prove people wrong.

Articles

13 funniest memes for the week of Nov. 18

Another week down, another list of the 13 best military memes from around the web:


1. They’ve got you there, Army (via Air Force Nation).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Some people polish floors, some people polish the battlefield.

2. It’s just so hard to choose (via Pop smoke).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
That mammoth skull looks pretty cool, though ….

3. These budget cuts are ridiculous (via Pop smoke).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
I hope they have a cable for my phone onboard.

4. Your animal stuck with you through that nasty breakup? That’s cool (via Military Memes).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Army Sgt. Paulie here has stuck through two Purple Hearts.

5. “Where does it even plug into the computer?”

(via Military Memes)

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

6. This meme gets recycled every year without getting any less true (via Military Memes).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
It’s getting pretty awkward.

7. The blue disc is always good for a few warm hugs and a cup of cocoa (via Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Sorry, I misspelled that. Blue discs are good for a few “living nightmares” and “an explosion of fury.”

8. The only reason to wake up is if someone is yelling “corpsman.”

(via The Salty Soldier)

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Or sometimes if you feel a sharp pain at the same moment that you hear a boom.

9. There seems to be some sort of feed error with your weapon (via Coast Guard Memes).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Check the weapon’s ID-10-T to identify the problem.

10. “He’s like, really spooky and stuff.”

(viaAir Force amn/nco/snco)

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Maybe you should call the MPs for help.

11. Basically spraying filtered water over here (via Military Nations).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Forced hydration is life.

12. Hey, if it works in Atropia, then it must work in theater (via U.S Army W.T.F! moments).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Of course, if these guys had actually learned their lessons in Atropia, then they’d probably have the muscle memory and discipline to keep their weapons at the low ready.

13. Some people call it crazy. Some people call it disciplined (via Team Non-Rec).

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Just headbutt the wall until the wall breaks.

Lists

9 text messages from First Sergeant you never want to read

While pretty much all of the veterans here at WATM served in the military fairly recently, we weren’t on first sergeant’s speed dial. If he or she wanted something, he’d send a “runner,” but with technology going the way it has been, it’s probably only a matter of time before troops start getting texts instead.


This is probably not a good thing. Here are nine messages you probably never want to see coming from the phone number of “The Diamond.”

1. Get your ass outside my office. Time: RIGHT F–KING NOW.

He doesn’t need to give you details, because he’s the frigging First Sergeant. But what you can be very sure of just from this very short text: He’s pissed. He’s really pissed… AT YOU.

 

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

 

2. We’re going out to the field this weekend. Gear inspection Friday at 1730.

There goes your plans for the weekend. After you read this one, you’ll have to call off your plans to support your local strip club and tattoo parlor. But look on the bright side: At least you’ll be saving money.

3. Gas mask PT tomorrow. Company office at 0500.

Do you hate breathing? Do you like to run? Why not combine both of these things into something your leaders call “Gas Mask PT.”

4. Why was a member of your squad caught drunk and naked at the front gate?

This is a question that really has no good answer. In the first sergeant’s mind, that drunken naked idiot is a direct reflection of your leadership, and anything you say is going to be bad. Prepare to have your butt completely chewed off.

5. Just got call from MPs. Report to my office in dress uniform in 15.

This is more upsetting than a scary movie. A call from military police, and now you have to report in to “the diamond.” What the hell did I do now? Did I not check her ID card?

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

 

6. ALL HANDS PISS TEST. Company office in 10.

It’s not necessarily that you did drugs or are worried about popping on the piss test (although that could be a concern). But pissing into a cup as some dude checks out your junk can make anyone nervous. Back off, dude.

7. Too many DUIs in company. Recall formations this weekend at 0600, 1200, and 1800 daily.

Mass punishment. It’s First Sergeant’s favorite pastime. In his mind, you may not have driven drunk, but you could have done something to stop those other guys. Somehow.

8. I’m inspecting the barracks in two hours.

You have a few options: You can try hard to clean your room because first sergeant will probably break out the white gloves to look for dust. Or you can run to the 7-day store and pick up Maxim magazine, Playboy, and a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, and place them where he’s guaranteed to look. This distraction may just save your life.

9. What are you wearing?

If you get this text from your first sergeant, you should probably be worried. DON’T RESPOND. Let’s just pretend this one never happened.

 

NOW: 8 reasons why ‘Aliens’ perfectly captures Marine infantry life

popular

8 over-the-top ways troops had fun with their reenlistment

Troops rarely get a say in anything. As a lower-enlisted, your opinion is often discounted and–not to burst any bubbles–as you climb higher, you’ll likely find more of the same. One of the rare exceptions, however, is in determining the conditions of your reenlistment.


Nine times out of ten, a reenlisting troop will say, “screw it, just give me the paperwork” without testing the limits of exactly how far a commander is willing to go to keep them in. Commanders can shoot down the silly requests, sure, but on rare, beautiful occasions, a troop will get exactly what they want.

These are a few of those moments:

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
(Photo by Petty Officer 2nd Class Laurie Dexter)

 

While putting out a fire

It makes perfect sense if you’re a firefighter to have your reenlistment in the middle of a simulated fire. The key word here is ‘simulated.’ If it wasn’t, you probably should focus on, you know, the task at hand.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

 

On an anchor

This one seems fitting as you’re tying your career down for a few more years.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
(U.S. Navy photo by James Woods)

 

While freefalling

Why reenlist before your jump or after you land when you can save time and take the Oath right in the middle?

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
(Meme via USAWTFM)

 

At a Gamestop

Deep down, we all know that dude’s reenlistment bonus is going towards video games. Let’s just cut out the middleman and hand the check directly to the guy behind the counter.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
(U.S. Army Photo)

 

At a football game

You and your buddies might as well get free tickets to a football game while you give Uncle Sam a few more years of your life.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
(Photo by Sgt. 1st Class Caleb Barrieau)

 

In the gas chamber

This may seem like a terrible idea, but with all that CS gas, you can try and pull the “I didn’t make the oath. I was coughing too much!” line if you change your mind.

Pro tip: It won’t work.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
(U.S. Army)

 

At the South Pole

On the bright side, they got an Antarctica Service Medal in exchange for giving a few additional years to Uncle Sam.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
(U.S. Navy photo by Bruce Howard)

 

By Jon motherf*cking Bon Jovi at the One World Trade Center

I’m not even mad. This is just impressive. She forever has a one-up on anyone trying to outdo her reenlistment.

“You just want a reenlistment on the bow of the ship? Oh, that’s neat…”

Lists

5 things you didn’t know about Sgt. Elias’s death scene in ‘Platoon’

There are so many war movies out there to choose from, yet not many come from the perspective of a man who personally lived through the hell that was the Vietnam War.


Critically acclaimed writer-director Oliver Stone (an Army veteran) took audiences into that politically charged time in American history, where the war efforts of our service members were either overlooked or disdained upon returning home, with Platoon.

Related: 5 nuggets of wisdom in ‘Black Hawk Down’ you may have missed

With his unique perspective, Stone filmed one of the most iconic death scenes in cinema history — the dramatic end of Sgt. Elias.

But there are a few interesting things you probably didn’t know about Sgt. Elias’s onscreen death.

5. Dafoe was “self-contained” during the scene

The acclaimed actor was given a walkie-talkie and was instructed by Stone to run from point A to point B while avoiding all the explosions.

Besides that, he had no further communication with cast or crew during the scene.

4. It only took 3-4 takes

For anyone who understands the process of filmmaking, 3-4 “takes” is extremely few, especially for such a dynamic scene that turned out so strong. Oliver Stone set up several cameras to capture the drama of the moment that gives you chills.

3. Not all of the bombs exploded

As Dafoe dashed through the uneven terrain, he knew the locations of the squibs and the controlled detonations — some of which failed to explode, but the audience can’t tell.

2. Dafoe had the squib detonator in his hand — which he threw

If look closely at Dafoe’s left hand, you can see him carrying the squib detonator, which he used to set off the devices attached to his wardrobe. Since not all the squibs exploded as planned, Dafoe ended up throwing the detonator to the side during the take that made the final cut.

Also Read: 6 reasons ‘Full Metal Jacket’ should have been about Animal Mother

1. They shot the scene in the Philippines

While there, the cast also trained to be soldiers with Marine veteran and friend of WATM, Capt. Dale Dye.

Marine veteran Capt. Dye stands with actors Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe, and Mark Moses on the set of Platoon, deep in the jungle in the Philippines (Image from Orion Pictures)

Check out Larry King‘s YouTube video below to hear Willem Dafoe retell the story of filming the epic scene.

(Larry King | YouTube)

Lists

The 12 Funniest Military Memes Of The Week

What’s up, military fam? Did you get a weekend or not? Either way, get ready for Monday with these 13 military memes.


Did you have fun on Winter block leave?

 

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Not as much fun as this guy has when you get back.

If being on a ship 90% of the time won’t stop them, these pants will.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
It does reduce the number of sailors visiting the corpsman after port call.

Poor Coast Guard, homeland security just doesn’t have that DoD budget.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

 

Failure now comes with 40% more boom. Meme lessons at their finest.

 

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

Aircraft maintenance keeps getting more complicated.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

 

This is the only action you get on deployment.

 

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

 

The sound of freedom… is annoying. One of the most accurate memes around.

 

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
It’s ok, I prefer to jolt awake amid a deafening roar.

Turns out, Bradley Cooper has been making military movies for a while now.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
He’s still playing enlisted, and he’s shown doing most of the work, too.

Spotters are like battle buddies, but not so touchy-feely.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
They’re also good for keeping score.

These things always sneak up on me…

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Time to stock up on energy shots and protein powder.

You think your girlfriend nags a lot? Wait till you meet the petty officers.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
A man in pajamas at a liquor store is to a recruiter what blood in the water is to sharks.

Finally!

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Except, if the gunny sees this, guaranteed your libo is canceled.

NOW: 15 Modern Photos Of Pin-Up Girls Taken In Support Of US Troops

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Articles

7 Celebrities Who Didn’t Last At West Point

Being a West Point cadet isn’t for everyone, and that’s not a bad thing if you’re a poet or an LSD pioneer.


Not everyone can make it through the famed U.S. Military Academy that has been training Army leaders for more than 200 years. The academy has had its fair share of famous graduates, of course, but we looked back at a few who didn’t make it all the way through.

 

Edgar Allen Poe

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

Edgar Allen Poe, the poet best known for “The Raven,” served as a non-commissioned officer in the U.S. Army 1827-1829. He was a member of West Point’s Class of 1834 and excelled in language studies, but he was ultimately expelled for conduct reasons. (Wikipedia)

Chris Cagle

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

Before he played in the NFL, Chris Cagle was part of West Point’s Class of 1930. He played for the Black Knights during the 1926–1929 seasons. Right before his commissioning, he was forced to resign in May 1930 after it was discovered he had married — a breach of the rules for cadets — in August 1928. (Wikipedia; Photo: Amazon.com)

Timothy Leary

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

Timothy Leary, counterculture icon and LSD proponent, was part of West Point’s Class of 1943 before dropping out to “drop out, tune in, and turn on” – his motto during the ’60s.

Richard Hatch

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

Richard Hatch was part of West Point’s Class of 1986 before he dropped out to eventually become the original reality show bad boy and winner of the first season of Survivor. (Photo: People.com)

Maynard James Keenan

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

Maynard James Keenan is well known in rock music circles as the front man of art metal bands Tool and A Perfect Circle. Keenan would have been part of the Class of 1988 but instead of accepting his appointment to West Point in 1984 (while he was attending United States Military Academy Preparatory School) he decided to skip cadet life and instead complete his term of active duty enlistment. (Photo: Karen Mason Blair/Corbis)

Adam Vinatieri

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

Adam Vinatieri is well-known to NFL fans as a placekicker for the New England Patriots and Indianapolis Colts. His stint as a cadet didn’t last very long. He left the Academy after two weeks of plebe life. (Photo: Colts.com)

Dan Hinote

 

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

Dan Hinote dropped out of West Point in 1996 – his plebe year – when he was picked up by the Colorado Avalanche, which made him the first NHL player ever drafted from a service academy. He is currently an assistant coach for the Columbus Blue Jackets. (Photo: NHL.com)

Lists

7 holiday gift ideas for the Army

Let’s continue our holiday shopping. We’ve already designed the U.S. Navy’s gift basket, so now let’s put one together for their rival, the Army. What do they want to find under the tree this year?


7. An extra brigade per division

The Army recently beefed up its brigades by adding a third infantry battalion, but decreased the number of brigade combat teams, or BCTs, per division from four to three. With Russia developing new tanks and infantry fighting vehicles, there’s a chance the United States Army may need more forces to hold the line. Going back to four BCTs per division wouldn’t be a bad idea. Maybe get some separate brigades, as well.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Capt. Lou Cascino, commander of Easy Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), pulls security while Staff Sgt. Eric Stephens and 1st Lt. James Kromhout verify their position during a partnered patrol in Madi Khel, Khowst Province, Afghanistan, Oct. 20, 2013. (U.S. Army Photo by Maj. Kamil Sztalkoper, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division)

6. More divisions

In 1989, the United States Army had 18 active divisions, plus 10 more in the National Guard. Today, there are 10 active Army divisions and only eight divisions in the National Guard. Even as the U.S. entered the War on Terror, that total did not increase. Now, ISIS has been beaten down, but the Russian threat is resurging. Let’s go back to 1989’s division totals and get even more troops on the line.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Shoulder patch of the 3rd Armored Division, one of the divisions deactivated after the Cold War. (US Army graphic)

5. More combat aviation units

The AH-64 Apache is one heck of an equalizer on the battlefield. With 16 Longbow-equipped Hellfires, one Apache could wipe out half a battalion of Russian tanks. But the Army only has 11 combat aviation brigades, according to a Heritage Foundation assessment of American military power. We’re sure the U.S. Army would be happy to have one combat aviation brigade per division.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Apache helicopters have successfully taken out advanced air defenses before, but it would still be better to use F-22s when possible. (Army photo by Capt. Brian Harris)

4. More M1128 “Stryker” Mobile Gun Systems

The M1128 is very mobile and carries a 105mm main gun. While it’s not able to stand up to an Armata, or arguably even a piece-of-junk T-72, it can still knock out armored personnel carriers, infantry fighting vehicles, trucks, anti-aircraft guns, surface-to-air missile launchers, and buildings. Plus, it could give the 82nd Airborne the firepower it’s lacked since the M551 was retired decades ago.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Armor Soldiers assigned to 3rd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, fire the Stryker’s 105mm main gun during a live fire range 28 March 2011, at Yakima Training Center, Wash. (US Army photo)

3. New tanks and IFVs

While the Abrams and Bradley are great, they’re old designs. Everyone loves to get the newest, high-tech gadget for Christmas — we think the U.S. Army would appreciate it, too. A new tank and IFV makes for a great gift. Plus, Russia’s been making great strides on their tanks; America needs to modernize.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
M1A2 Abrams Main Battle Tanks move to engage targets during a joint combined arms live-fire exercise near Camp Buehring, Kuwait Dec. 6-7, 2016.  (U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Aaron Ellerman)

2. A new scout helicopter

One consequence of the budget cuts enacted under the Obama Administration was that the OH-58 Kiowa Warrior was retired without an immediate replacement. Yes, UAVs can handle some reconnaissance, but not all. A new version of the Lakota could be had relatively cheap, in federal budget terms.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Airbus H145M, showing a gun pod on the left and a 12-round rocket pod on the right. (Photo from Airbus Helicopters)

1. Re-start A-10 production

Yes, the A-10 is technically an Air Force system, but the need for close-air support is always there. We’re told the F-35 or the OA-X program will replace the A-10, but somehow, that doesn’t seem to add up.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Two U.S. Air Force A-10 Thunderbolt IIs fly in a wingtip formation after refueling from a 340th Expeditionary Air Refueling Squadron KC-135 Stratotanker in support of Operation Inherent Resolve, Feb. 15, 2017. (U.S. Air Force photo by Senior Airman Jordan Castelan)

What do you think the U.S. Army should get for Christmas? Let us know in the comments.

Articles

The 9 most-ridiculous North Korean propaganda claims

It’s no secret that North Korea controls its people through fear and propaganda. Here are some of the craziest propaganda claims we’ve ever heard from the Hermit Kingdom:


1. North Korea made a video depicting 150,000 US citizens taken hostage during their invasion of the South Korean capital, Seoul.

2. Kim Jong-Un climbed North Korea’s highest mountain wearing a long top coat and dress shoes.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Kim Jong-Un on the summit of Mt. Paektu. Photo released by North Korea’s Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) on April 19, 2015

3. Kim Jong-Il phoned the North Korean soccer coach during their World Cup match against Brazil with an invisible phone he invented himself.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Photo: Dollar Photo Club

4. That time Kim Jong-Il tried golf for the first time and finished with 11 holes-in-one to achieve a 38-under-par game on a championship 18-hole golf course.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Photo: Wikimedia

5. Then there was the time Kim Jong-Il’s track suits set the fashion world on fire, turning him into a fashion icon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6HwsmtzM1k

6. According to North Korea, Americans are imperialists that enjoy killing babies.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Do not forget the U.S. imperialist wolves!

7. Kim Jong-Il has never urinated or defecated.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

8. North Korea is the second happiest country behind China, according to North Korean researchers. The United States is dead last.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

9. Perhaps the cruelest North Korean propaganda poster ever. The country often suffering from famine claims it has lots of food.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

NOW: North Korea now has a nuclear-capable missile that can hit the US

OR: North Korea may have equipped two submarines with ballistic missile launch tubes

Lists

6 ‘first-world problem’ complaints about military life

Quality of life has come a long way since soldiers fought to avoid trench foot in World War I. But that doesn’t mean the 21st Century military isn’t without significant issues. Here are a few of them:


1. ‘Why can’t we get the proper proteins!?’

 

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Photo: Reddit.com/Ryanbuddy04

This writer sacrifices his breakfast meats for a measly extra egg, but the DFAC is too stingy to give it to him. And he’s not the only one having issues. Other redditors jumped in as well.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Photo: reddit screenshot
11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Photo: reddit screenshot

 

2. ‘Brown underwear and green socks are lame, free immunizations suck.’

This post is too long to share here, but a reddit user wanted to let the world know what he hated about the Army as he got out and included, among 80 other items, the free underwear and socks the Army issued him. Granted, they’re ugly, but no one wears the brown underwear after basic and the green socks are only worn in garrison. Other targets of Ballsteintheimpailer‘s wrath include cadences, anyone who outranks him, and free medical.

3. ‘Barracks soldiers should be able to drink like married soldiers.’

A male soldier,roman_fyseek, hadn’t been at Fort Drum long when he was caught passed out drunk in a bed with a female soldier. Word of his infractions climbed the chain, and he found himself in front of the battalion commander. The intrepid soldier told the commander that it’s crap that he can’t get blackout drunk with another soldier but married soldiers can pass out with their wives.

Shockingly, this supposedly worked. The battalion commander elevated it to the base commander. The base commander talked to the soldier, increased the alcohol limits in the barracks, and allowed troops to decorate their own rooms.

4. ‘Buying magazines and paying into charity are for suckers.’

No, the unit isn’t supposed to force members to order magazines; and yes, troops can refuse to pay into charitable funds. Unit commands usually “highly encourage” charitable contributions, unit t-shirt purchases, and purchase of a reading list. IG_complaint (actual username) was having none of it and took to reddit to request help.

Other users recommended he lodge a complaint with the inspector general, though it seems like he probably knew that was an option already.

5. ‘The Oath of Enlistment is offensive and unconstitutional so Congress is a domestic enemy.’

Publius1775 really, really wants religion struck from the face of the earth, starting with the words, “So help me God,” in the Oath of Enlistment. He’s so passionate about it that he declared Congress a domestic enemy of the state.

His complaint comes a little late since the Air Force was the only service that still required the words, “So help me God,” and they dropped the requirement ten days after this man mailed his letter to the president, the service secretaries, and the Department of Defense inspector general. (The two events were probably not connected.)

6. ‘Military bases suck, mostly because of mosquitoes.’

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Photo: reddit screenshot

When these service members got together to complain about bases, the mosquitoes came up a surprising number of times. Fort Polk got the worst complaints despite the fact that they have a Waffle House. Cannon Air Force Base, New Mexico; Twentynine Palms, California; and Fort Knox, Kentucky were all drug through the mud as well.

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