11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds - We Are The Mighty
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11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

Army and Marine first sergeants have to talk a lot, considering their duties as company-level senior enlisted leaders. While they primarily act as advisors to company commanders and deal with administrative issues, they sometimes say things that drive troops crazy.


1. “It would behoove you … “

Often used by first sergeants to tell troops that it would be a good idea to do something — “it would behoove you to wear your eye-pro on the range” — it’s often overused and mispronounced as “bee-who-of-you.”

 

2. “Hey there, gents”

Short for gentlemen, first sergeants sometimes refer to their troops as gents. Of course, this is totally fine and not a big deal, except when you are called a gent all of the time.

3. “Utilize”

According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, “utilize” means to use. So stop making a word choice so complicated and just freaking say use.

4. “All this and a paycheck too!”

In the Army and Marine Corps, you get to work out, shoot stuff, and blow things up, and you get paid for it. It’s often pretty fun — who doesn’t love explosives?! — but the “all this and a paycheck too!” comment from the first sergeant doesn’t usually come at these moments. It comes at halfway point of a 20-mile hike when you are sucking wind and hoping for death.

Also, you make way more than everyone else here. And is that a pillow in your rucksack?

5. “If you’re gonna drive, don’t drink. If you’re gonna drink, don’t drive.”

Just one of the many things first sergeant mentions in his lengthy talk before allowing the company to leave for the weekend, “if you’re gonna drive, don’t drink” is solid advice that should be followed. But it’s also part of a boring brief that he repeats word-for-word EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK.

Other phrases troops may hear during the libo brief include, “If you’re gonna tap it, wrap it,” and “take care of each other out there.” In first sergeant’s defense, he’s required to give this brief to cover his own butt, in addition to it being a hopeless attempt at avoiding the inevitable 3am phone call to come on Saturday.

 

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Photo Credit: Sgt. Jennifer Pirante/US Marine Corps

6. “The first sergeant”

When you pick up staff non-commissioned officer in the Army or Marine Corps, they must take you in a room and tell you that you can start talking in the third-person, because it happens a lot. Hearing about what “the first sergeant” would do, as opposed to what “I” would do is eye-roll worthy.

“The first sergeant would make sure to let his battle buddy know.”

7. “Good to go? / Hooah?”

First sergeants like to use common catchphrases to make sure their troops understand. While a “good to go?” makes sense to gauge whether troops are listening, when it comes after every sentence in the liberty brief, it can get old very quick. For Army first sergeants and others, it’s pretty common to use the motivational “hooah” in a questioning manner. Hooah?

8. “We got a lot of moving parts here.”

Let’s not get wrapped around the axle here, gents. We’ve got battalion formation in the A.M., the general is coming in, so we need to be there at 0400, good to go? We got a lot of moving parts here, so let’s try to all stay on the same page, good to go?

9. “Give me three bodies!”

If you ever need a great example of language that makes you feel like you are just a number in the military, look no further than someone asking “for bodies.” What first sergeant means here is that he needs three motivated U.S. Marines to carry out a working party.

“Just get my goddamn bodies, turd.”

“Roger, first sergeant.”

10. “You trackin’?”

Often used just like “good to go?” or “Hooah?” the phrase “you trackin’?” is first sergeant’s other way of making sure we all understand. We’re all looking in your direction, listening to the words you are saying, tracking along just fine.

11. “Got any saved rounds?”

Last but certainly not least is the phrase “got any saved rounds?” which is a way of asking if anyone has anything to add. This one usually comes at the end of long meetings and should be followed by complete silence, so we can get out of this godforsaken room.

Inevitably, Carl over there is going to say something.

So, got any saved rounds? Any phrases we missed? Let us know in the comments.

SEE ALSO: Legendary Gen. James Mattis has an inspiring message for all Post-9/11 veterans

Lists

6 of the best ways to set up a challenging urban defense as OPFOR

When a commander designates you and your squad to be OPFOR (Opposing Force), what they’re doing is giving you an opportunity at the most fun you can have in training — playing bad guy.


This is a way for you to use all the knowledge and dirty tricks you’ve ever learned to put other troops in your unit through the ringer.

The purpose of this is to give realistic training to test the unit’s knowledge and metal so your commanders can figure out where the faults are and how to fix them. While being OPFOR is still training to a degree, it’s a great way to skate in the field and get the hell away from your platoon for a couple hours.

Related: How unconventional tactics won the battle for Ramadi

1. Be aggressive

Your goal as OPFOR is to ultimately “die.” The unit you’re fighting against will have a mission and a plan, which typically end in their victory. Don’t let that get you down — you still need to put up a good fight. Don’t just hand them an easy victory. The point is to give them some good training; so put them through hell so they can learn something.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Match their aggression. (U.S. Air Force photo by Tech. Sgt. Sam Weaver)

2. Be deceptive

Deception is key in any form of a defense. Your goal is to fake out the enemy to make it easier for you to wipe them out. If you’re unpredictable, the enemy’s life will be much harder when they come after you. In the case of OPFOR, you’ll already know what you’re defending so make sure to lead your “enemy” through a big maze.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Use cardboard cut-outs and robots! (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Ashlee Conover)

3. Use their tactics against them

They’re your unit, so you understand their tactics and standard operating procedures, which gives you an edge that a real enemy won’t have. You know what they’re going to do in any given situation so you can provide a perfect countermeasure. When evaluating your unit’s SOPs, be sadistic in your planning to give the ultimate defense.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
If you know they’re going to climb over walls, booby trap the walls. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Eric Tso)

4. Use your environment

Urban areas are filled with tons and tons of props. Training sites will likely imitate this and place old furniture all over the place, and if you’re training in an abandoned housing area, the chances of this will be much higher. If there are doors around, set up barriers or obstacles. Make your enemy work for their victory.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
See that car? There’s a lot for you to do with that. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Sarah N. Petrock, 2d MARDIV Combat Camera)

5.  Use every weapon or tool you have

If you’ve got para-cord/550 cord with you, use it. Set-up as many booby traps and trip-wires as you possibly can to increase the level of difficulty for the guys trying to get to their objectives and accomplish their mission. If you have smoke grenades, oil, and/or trip flares, use those to the most frustrating extent possible.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Don’t be afraid to use one of these bad boys if you got one. (United States Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl Samuel Brusseau.)

Also read: 4 interesting things a rifleman can get away with

6. Employ unconventional tactics

The use of unconventional tactics dominates on the modern battlefield; when you’re OPFOR, it’s a great opportunity to toss out the rule book and mix your conventional knowledge with unconventional tactics to kick some serious ass.

Fight aggressive, fight dirty, and be deceptive. Fight to win and give the guys in your unit a real challenge to test their steel. If you manage to beat the hell out of them, it only increases the amount of fun you’re already bound to have playing bad guy.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
A well-planned, well-executed ambush will inflict devastating casualties. (U.S. Army photo by Lt. Benjamin Haulenbeek)

Lists

The 4 US Presidents with the craziest war stories

Also known as “Washington’s Birthday,” Feb. 16 is now known as a federal holiday to honor all U.S. presidents. Military service is not a prerequisite to be President of the United States, but plenty had it on their resume when they took the oath of office.


We took a look back at four ex-commanders-in-chief throughout history and found the ones with the craziest war stories. Here they are.

President George Washington secretly planned an icy river crossing on Christmas day before surprise attacking enemy forces.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

It was the winter of 1776 and then-Gen. George Washington and his Continental Army — low on morale after a series of defeats at the hands of the British — desperately needed a victory to prove their revolution would not be short-lived.

On Dec. 26, 1776, they got it. After secretly crossing the Delaware River the previous night with approximately 2,400 troops, Washington pulled off a daring raid on Hessian mercenaries in Trenton, N.J.

From MountVernon.org:

The freezing and tired Continental Army assembled on the Jersey shore without any major debacles. Once ready, Washington led his army on the road to Trenton. It was there that he secured the Continental Army’s first major military victory of the war. Without the determination, resiliency, and leadership exhibited by Washington while crossing the Delaware River the victory at Trenton would not have been possible.

He kept the operation completely secret — even from his own men — and eventually captured nearly 1,000 Hessian fighters, at the cost of just four of his own men, according to The History Channel.

With just four or five men, Teddy Roosevelt led a daring charge up a heavily-defended hillside.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

Teddy Roosevelt was serving as the assistant secretary of the Navy at the outbreak of the Spanish-American War, but he resigned his position to get himself out from behind a desk and into the fight. He organized and led a diverse mix of western cowboys, Native Americans, blacks, and easterners into the 1st U.S. Volunteer Cavalry — better known as the “Rough Riders” — that later took Cuba’s San Juan Hill on July 1, 1898 from 500 Spanish defenders who had held off previous attacks throughout the day, according to The History Channel.

From The New York Times:

Mr. Roosevelt later said that the “charge itself was great fun” and “we had a bully fight.” He was nominated for a Medal of Honor, though he did not receive it during his lifetime. The battle buoyed his political career, as he won the governorship of New York in 1899, was elected vice president in 1900 and became president in 1901 following the assassination of President William McKinley.

Although his nomination for the Medal of Honor was rejected at the time (The American Legion’s Burn Pit has an interesting look at the reasons why), Roosevelt finally received his recognition on Jan. 16, 2001 from President Bill Clinton. Roosevelt remains the only president to receive the nation’s highest award.

“Facing the enemy’s heavy fire, he displayed extraordinary bravery throughout the charge, and was the first to reach the enemy trenches, where he quickly killed one of the enemy with his pistol, allowing his men to continue the assault,” his citation reads. “His leadership and valor turned the tide in the Battle for San Juan Hill.”

After his small patrol boat was sliced in half by a Japanese destroyer, John F. Kennedy saved the lives of his men and survived in enemy territory.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

As a Navy lieutenant in charge of a patrol torpedo boat in the Solomon Islands, John F. Kennedy and his men were tasked with engaging and (hopefully) damaging Japanese destroyers that were supplying enemy troops. On the moonless night of Aug. 1, 1943 however, it was Kennedy’s PT-109 that was damaged — or more specifically — it was sliced in half.

The JFK Library writes:

The destroyer, later identified as the Amagiri, struck PT-109 just forward of the forward starboard torpedo tube, ripping away the starboard aft side of the boat. The impact tossed Kennedy around the cockpit. Most of the crew were knocked into the water. The one man below decks, engineer Patrick McMahon, miraculously escaped, although he was badly burned by exploding fuel.

After he personally recovered some of his men and helped them to a nearby island — including towing a wounded sailor using a life-vest strap clenched in his teeth — Kennedy would later swim out from shore and to other nearby islands to look for food, fresh water, and American patrols.

They finally reached Cross Island (which was thought to be Nauru Island) and met up with some natives who agreed to pass a message along for them. On a coconut shell, Kennedy carved out: “Nauro Isl. Commander. Native knows posit. He can pilot. 11 alive need small boat. Kennedy.”

Kennedy received the Navy and Marine Corps Medal for the incident, along with the Purple Heart for the injuries he sustained, according to the JFK Library. He later tried to downplay his role in the incident, as his chance for heroism “was involuntary,” he quipped, according to The Smithsonian. “They sank my boat.”

After getting hit by anti-aircraft fire that set his plane’s engine on fire, George H.W. Bush still finished his bombing mission and then bailed out in the Pacific.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

On Sep. 2, 1944, then-Lt. George H.W. Bush and his squadron was conducting a bombing mission on a Japanese installation on the island of Chichi Jima when they were attacked by anti-aircraft fire. The 20-year-old Bush, piloting a Grumman TBM Avenger, continued with the mission despite the damage to his aircraft.

Brian Jones at Task Purpose writes:

With him on the mission were two men — Radioman 2nd Class John Delaney and Lt. Junior Grade William White. Their aircraft was struck by intense anti-aircraft fire on the mission. With the cockpit filling with smoke and with Bush expecting the plane to explode at any minute, he completed his bombing run, flew as far as he could over the water, instructed the two men to bail out, and then parachuted out of the aircraft.

After ditching his aircraft, Bush survived for roughly four hours in a life raft before he was picked up by a Navy submarine, according to The History Channel. The only one rescued on that day, the future president would later receive the Distinguished Flying Cross for his bravery. The rest of his squadron however, suffered a gruesome fate at the hands of the Japanese, as James Bradley uncovered in his book “Flyboys.”

NOW: Ronald Reagan got a Marine recruiting letter while he was president — His response was classic

Articles

27 unsung WWII heroes most people have never heard of

Sadly, the heroes of World War 2 are leaving us every day. With the vast majority of war veterans past the age of 90, it won’t be long before only a few WW2 heroes and veterans are left to tell their stories of courage and triumph in the face of murderous odds. While some soldiers and important figures of the time are well known to the culture in general, most aren’t. Some didn’t survive, and many others simply never spoke about what they did. This list of World War 2 heroes will show the courage, bravery, and selflessness of many men you may not have heard of, but who made important contributions to the war nonetheless.


World War Two made heroes out of countless soldiers, scientists, officials, and even cooks and the World War 2 timeline is dotted with remarkable and heroic individuals. Whether fighting the Nazis on the European front or making a difference against the Japanese in the Pacific, these real life heroes helped the Allies win the war and helped make the world what it is today. Their sacrifices for their fellow fighters and even strangers they’d never feet were truly heroic.

This list features many World War 2 soldiers, pilots, and fighters who you should know something about. Some were officers and aces, others peasants and ordinary foot soldiers. They hailed from around the world, and some never even wore a uniform. But all of them took actions that saved lives, inflicted damage on the enemy, and collectively won World War II, the worst war in human history.

27 Unsung WWII Heroes You May Not Know About

 

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This article originally appeared at Ranker. Copyright 2015. Like Ranker on Facebook.

Humor

5 military myths that Hollywood has taught us to believe

We love movies! That’s why producers spend millions of dollars making them. Sometimes the films we watch are so compelling, audience members believe every moment that is spoon fed to them is the truth.


We’re all guilty of falling for it. Many movie goers get sold on the narrative as the story unfolds across the big screen — even to the point where the performances feel true to life — and the delicate line between truth and fiction becomes too thin.

Related: 7 life lessons we learned from watching ‘Full Metal Jacket’

So check out these military myths that Hollywood puts in their movies and want us to think actually happen — but don’t fall for it.

1. Vietnam veterans are crazy

Movies and TV shows love to feature characters that had tough military careers and reverted to drinking to suppress the memories. This does happen in real life from time-to-time, but not to everyone.

Most who served during that era use their military experience to propel themselves and inspire others.

2. You throw your clean cover after a military graduation

It’s a lot of work to not only find the cover you just flung into the air but clean the grass stains off too.

Does anyone have a tide pen? (Paramount)

3. Cinematic deaths

They just don’t exist — but we tip our hats to filmmaker Oliver Stone (an Army veteran) for capturing this epic movie moment in 1986s Platoon.

How many rounds do you think he took? (Orion Pictures)

4. That one guy who can save the day

In the military, you train as a team and you fight as one, as well.

The debate isn’t if one single person can save another’s ass during battle — that frequently happens.

What we call bullsh*t on is when that single motivator springs into action and becomes the final denominator and leads them to victory as the rest of his team remains pinned down and losing the fight.

They have the need for speed (Paramount)

5. No one gets concussions…ever

We’ve seen countless movies where people get blown up by various sources of explosive ordnance and seem to recover right away (just watch any 80s movie). Since we want to believe the good guys are as tough as nails, they will just brush off the injury and carry on.

It rarely happens like that.

In fact, the traumatic brain injury has been called the signature wound of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.

Hearing a phone or bells ringing is one of the first signs of concussion (Sony)

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Lists

5 questions you can use to challenge stolen valor dirtbags

Service members come from every walk of life. Just because someone doesn’t walk around looking like Mat Best, doesn’t mean they’re not a veteran. Even if someone walks around in a perfectly squared away uniform, it doesn’t mean they’re a veteran. Stolen Valor dirtbags have probably figured out how to use Google.


If you’re uncertain whether someone is really in the military or faking it, talk to them. Google will only help them out so far. Pull them aside and ask them a few questions, calm and collected, so they’re off-guard. Bear in mind, if they fail a question, they may still have served. Traumatic brain injury and dementia are common among veterans. If you’re giving hell to the guy who can barely remember his daughter’s name because of an IED in Iraq – you are the dirtbag.

The trick is to catch them playing along with a lie you made up. Praise something that doesn’t exist and if they latch on hoping to get your approval, they’re full of sh*t. Add in minute details that should set off red flags if they don’t look at you’re crazy. From there, it’s up to you. I, personally, recommend just shaming them into going back home and changing out of the uniform of good men and women. You do whatever you see fit.

“That’s impressive, I heard about the serious fighting in Atropia, Iraq. Were you there?”

For some reason, no one ever pretends to be a part of the 97% of the military that are POGs. Stolen valor dirtbags always go big. If you make up some random place that sounds vaguely foreign in Iraq or Afghanistan, they won’t know that the place doesn’t exist.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
The people of Krasnovia didn’t deserve the hell brought to their homes —mostly because the people of Krasnovia don’t exist.

“How long did it take you to make insert a rank not indicated by their uniform?”

Memorizing very important details is hard for dirtbags. Specifically, details like believing you can make E-7 in three years. Added bonus if they don’t correct you on saying the rank incorrectly.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Must have sucked making Command Sgt. Maj. after 90 years. (Image via Quora)

“Did you ever serve with my buddy Wagner? Man, I can’t remember what that dude kept going on about loving…”

If there’s one thing you can always count on is civilians not truly understanding the real size and scope of the military. With over 2.2 million troops in the United States Armed Forces, there’s no possible way to know every single person serving.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Stay woke. (Image via Imgur)

“Oh nice! What was basic training/boot camp like? Were the Drill Sergeants/Instructors mean?”

Soldiers do not go through boot camp. Marines do not go through basic training. To civilians, they’re used interchangeably.

If you intentionally mix them up, and they don’t politely correct you or immediately look at you like you’re an idiot, you got ’em.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

If they’re in a dress uniform: “That ribbon is nice. Did you get it for -whatever-?”

According to basic human psychology, liars always elaborate their stories to try and make their story seem more believable. If you point higher up on the ribbon rack, those can be awarded for some insane things. But it’s the lesser awards that are basically handed out for not messing up anything. When you point to, say, the Global War on Terrorism Service Medal and they say it’s for saving their platoon: laugh.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
It’d be believable if this dude said he won it from a pie-eating contest.

Lists

17 Laws Every Taliban Militant Needs To Follow

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds


During my embed in Afghanistan with the 101st Airborne’s Task Force Rakkasan a few years ago I saw this tacked to one of the plywood walls of the tactical operations center at Forward Operating Base Rushmore in the heart of Paktika Province. These are actual la’iha (laws) put out by (the late) Mullah Mohammed Omar for his fellow Taliban to follow:

  1. MMO is the supreme leader of the Taliban, or “Emir al Mu’manin” (“Leader of the Faithful”).
  2. Taliban will constructively engage tribal leaders and seek to offer support to the local population.
  3. Commanders should, when possible, be reassigned to their ancestral tribal areas.
  4. Captured enemy personnel will be taken to provincial commanders immediately.
  5. Spies cannot be executed without due process, which is also clearly defined.
  6. No Taliban will take bribes.
  7. No Taliban will steal.
  8. No Taliban will kidnap for ransom inside Afghanistan.
  9. No Taliban will use torture on captured persons.
  10. No mutilation, even of corpses.
  11. There will be no more beheadings, only firing squads.
  12. No executions will be videotaped.
  13. No suicide attack will be conducted unless approved by a higher authority.
  14. Any former government official seeking to join the Taliban must kill or capture a high-ranking enemy to prove himself loyal.
  15. Captured enemy money and items must be distributed fairly, not kept for personal gain.
  16. Provincial authorities will be established, creating standardized legal, political, and military structures.
  17. No smoking.
Lists

6 ‘Toys for Tots’ commercials we swear didn’t make us cry

Founded in 1947 by U.S. Marine Corps Reservist Maj. Bill Hendricks, the charitable legacy of Toys for Tots has endured throughout the decades. The gift-giving program was such as huge success initially that the Corps adopted the practice and has spread the program nationwide.


The program was so well-liked that famous animator Walt Disney got involved, personally inking the Toys for Tots logo we all know today.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
(Image from Toys for Tots)

For the past several years, the foundation has produced many emotionally driven ads, run during the holidays to help spread awareness for kids in need.

Some of the Toys for Tots commercials are real tear-jerkers. Good luck getting through all these with a dry eye.

Related: 5 awesome ways the military collects toys for kids

6. Every year, a Marine will stand and collect for our nation’s children-in-need.

(MarineToysForTots | YouTube)

5. An early morning Christmas surprise.

(MarineToysForTots | YouTube)

4. “Are you Santa Claus? He is Santa Claus!”

(MarineToysForTots | YouTube)

3. A child’s Christmas wish.

(MarineToysForTots | YouTube)

2. The Marines have always been known for saving the day. Now, they’re spreading Christmas cheer — one gift at a time.

(MarineToysForTots | YouTube)

Also Read: This is how POWs got playing cards with secret escape maps for Christmas

1. The many faces that the Marine Corps Reserves’ Toys for Tots has helped.

(MarineToysForTots | YouTube)To request toys or donate to Toys for Tots, visit their website.

Bonus: Remember when Sopranos star Joe Pantoliano played a Marine DI for Toys for Tots?

(MarineToysForTots | YouTube)
Articles

America’s most beloved military veterans

While all of our veterans should be beloved and respected, many have stuck in the public consciousness. Some became famous veterans because of their incredible accomplishments in war, and others because of their accomplishments in entertainment or business after their service. While some of the names on this list of famous US veterans are decorated heroes, and others were malcontents who couldn’t stay out of military prison (looking at you, George Carlin), all are veterans that are now loved and respected by the public.


Veterans like bomber pilot and movie star Jimmy Stewart, are obviously iconic. Others, like former Marine Corps driver turned icon Bea Arthur, might be people you had no idea served in the military. Their accomplishments in uniform run the gamut, from the heroism of Audie Murphy to personally having a bounty put on them by Hitler (Clark Gable) to undistinguished stints that ended quickly. A few fought in World War II and became highly anti-authoritarian. There are even some baseball players who gave up years of their careers to put themselves in harms way in combat in both World Wars.

Vote up the American veterans you respect and revere the most, and vote down the ones who don’t deserve the admiration they get from the public. From US Army veterans to World War 2 veterans, any famous and beloved veteran of the US armed forcesdeserves a spot on this list!

Vote up the famous veterans that you love and respect the most.

The Most Beloved US Veterans

 

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The Coolest US Presidential Firsts

These Fantastic Films Just Feel Like Summer

The Best U.S. Presidents in the Past 50 Years

This article originally appeared at Ranker. Copyright 2015. Like Ranker on Facebook.

Articles

5 TV characters from the 90s who should’ve joined the military

One of the habits we develop as veterans is to watch military-themed movies and TV shows and point out everything that is wrong with them, from jacked-up uniforms to what appears to be “STOLEN VALOR!”


But something I have caught myself doing is watching shows that have absolutely nothing to do with the military and point out characters I believe would benefit from heading down to the local recruiting office.

Here are five television characters from the 90s who probably should’ve served in the military.

1. Cody Lambert  from “Step by Step” 

Cody Lambert

This guy, it’s the Code man! Of course we all loved him. He was the adorable nephew who lived in a van behind his Uncle’s house. You have to respect his Uncle Frank for allowing his grown nephew to stay there while he was working on a new marriage with 3 new step kids who really didn’t appreciate him.

But Cody, of all people, needs to realize he’s intruding and the lifestyle he’s leading is not a good influence on the six kids in the house. What are you trying to teach them Cody? That it’s perfectly acceptable to live in a van and that somebody will bail you out when you’re older? No, Cody, that’s not what you teach them!

How about you be a better influence? Cody should have signed up for the military and shown them that there are other options in life than what he has been living. I mean, come on, how many “Codys” did we have in the barracks? He would have fit in just fine. Then maybe after his time in the service was done, ol’ Code man could have used that sweet, sweet VA loan to buy himself a little two-bedroom ranch with a little white picket fence.

I’m happy the show stopped when it did because after the influence he was putting on the Lambert family, I would hate to see how those kids turned out. This mainly applies to J.T., of course.

2. Dylan McKay from “Beverly Hills 90210” 

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

Time to trim up those side burns and turn those sexy locks into a high and tight, Dylan McKay. This guy’s life was a mess to start with but I think he had all the tools to make a decent soldier. Dylan was the loner out of those seven featured students from West Beverly High. No I don’t mean loner when he got to school, but in life.

His parents divorced and left McKay by himself to live. After receiving that nice inheritance, Dylan took off to Beverly Hills and lived by himself WHILE IN HIGH SCHOOL! Dylan was winning the war on life. He showed all the Army values before he even graduated high school, but then he became arrogant in life.

This guy, when he should have joined the service, decided to hit the bottle and lose his girlfriend. He then turned into a Blue Falcon and started sleeping with all of his friend’s girlfriends. Not a good move, Dylan, not a good move! I have a feeling that if he would have joined, Brenda would respect his decision and turn into a great military wife and would have ran Bingo games at the local NCO Club.

3. Jazz  from “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” 

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

This guy, more than anything, needed guidance. If you ask me, Jazz was that neighbor that Will just kept around to feel better about himself. Pretty selfish move, Will. In a few episodes, Jazz showed off some serious basketball skills which might have led him to a community college for two years of college hoops but probably not much after that.

Here’s what should have happened: Uncle Phil needed to stop being a bully. As we all know, Uncle Phil felt big and bad throwing poor Jazz out of the house all the time. This isn’t an Olympic sport, Uncle Phil, this is a HUMAN BEING!

Uncle Phil should have taken Jazz to a military career office and perhaps put those basketball skills to use for a military academy. He would have gotten to shine while gaining a military work ethic. He would have then become the man that Hilary needed. I’m putting this one on you, Uncle Phil. Oh yeah, and don’t think we weren’t dumb enough to notice that you switched out wives in the middle of the show. I guess that’s a privilege of being a judge. Shame on you, Your Honor.

4. Six Dorothy Lemeure from “Blossom” 

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Blossom and Six (right)

She arguably had a much harder life than everyone else on this list. Six once said that she got her name from the amount of beers that her dad fed her mom to get her pregnant. But that’s not even the worst thing: During the show, Six battled alcoholism, dated a much older man, and even had a pregnancy scare. Sounds like she’s already lived the life of an Army private.

Six had an undying passion for Blossom’s brother, Joey. WOAH! Here’s the thing though, Six. You’re putting your family and friends through stress because of these poor decisions. If you were as passionate about bettering yourself as you are about Joey, you would do just fine in the service and realize that it would be a great decision for you.

5. A.C. Slater from “Saved By The Bell” 

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

So many of you are probably saying it should be Zach Morris and not A.C. Slater. But let me remind you, Zach scored a 1502 on his SAT test (the highest of all of the gang) and he had something special with Kelly. If Zach would have went to boot camp he wouldn’t have been able to keep his head in the game with that beautiful woman back home.

Slater, on the other hand, already lived the experience. He was an Army brat so he was familiar with the lifestyle. He also showed signs of weakness when he decided to attend Cal U. and not attend Iowa (a national powerhouse in wrestling) on a wrestling scholarship. He was a proven leader in a group environment but still needed a little more discipline. The biggest fear, for me, with Slater being in the service is his pride in being a “male chauvinist pig.” He better not call any female service member “mama.”

That stuff won’t fly, A.C.

NOW: The top 5 military-themed songs that aren’t written by Toby Keith

 

Lists

What soldiers really want in their care packages

How do you know what a soldier really wants in a care package? If you’re not in the position to ask the recipient what they need, use this list of care package ideas for soldiers to help you figure it out. You should ask yourself a few questions before putting the box together: Where is the soldier stationed? How long will she/he be there? What would you want to receive if you were trapped in a remote space without access to all your favorite things? And most importantly, what can you send a soldier that will boost their morale?


Being in the military is a tough job, so the best care packages for soldiers include items that are absolutely necessary, like toiletries, personal hygiene items, and medical products (mostly foot repair items), as well as entertaining and/or personal items like comic books, a deck of cards, or memorabilia from home (letters, drawings, mixtapes, etc.). You want the recipient to be able to take care of their physical needs and discomforts by sending products they can’t buy when they’re away from commissary, and you want to promote some light-hearted interaction by sending games or puzzles.

You don’t need to have a friend or a family member in the military to send some care packages for troops – there are plenty of groups and websites that will guide you through the process of how to properly pack and ship care packages to soldiers. Vote up the items you consider the most important, and add any items you don’t already see listed here. If you’ve been on the receiving end of one of these packages, please add items, and leave any relative comments in the comments section below!

What Soldiers Really Want in Their Care Packages

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9 WTF? questions Navy recruits have at boot camp

Navy RDCs (Recruit Division Commanders) turn young men and women into trained sailors through the use of strict discipline, naval tradition, alien language, and psychological mind games. The transformation is difficult by design, but Navy recruits who pass are inducted into the mysteries of the deep.


But before any of that happens, the civilian recruit is hit by culture shock, and some wtf questions usually follow shortly thereafter. Here are a few.

Also read: 13 lessons every new sailor learns the hard way

1. “Are you crazy? I have to jump from how high and swim how far?”

 

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Meme: S–t My LPO Says

The Navy is the branch of the military that spends their deployments at sea, which why sailors need to know how to swim. However, you’d be surprised to learn the number of recruits designated to the kiddy pool on swim day. Recruits who fail the swim test take mandatory classes in addition to the unit’s drill schedule until they pass.

2. “What do you mean unf–k myself?”

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Photo: Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Richard J. Brunson/USN

Don’t bother explaining yourself to the RDC, just fix it.

3. “I didn’t call you a sorry Petty Officer. I said, ‘Sorry, Petty Officer.'”

“Sorry” would be the polite thing to say in the civilian world, but not at boot camp. Many recruits are shocked at the RDC’s reply to “sorry.” Recruits are better off saying, “Aye aye Petty Officer.”

4. “WTF is Freedom Hall? Is that where we take a break from all this training?”

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Freedom Hall Physical Fitness Facility at RTC Great Lakes. (Photo: Scott A. Thornbloom/USN)

Freedom Hall is the Physical Fitness Facility at Recruit Training Command. Basically, it’s just a big indoor track. Don’t expect to see weights or obstacle courses, since Navy recruits run and do calisthenics for exercise.

5. “I can’t keep my eyes open. When do we get to sleep?”

Sailors get little to no sleep upon arriving at boot camp. Sleep is regularly interrupted by RDC inspections, roving watchstanders, head counts, and the occasional group punishment caused by talking shipmates.

6. “Why am I being punished? I wasn’t the one who messed up.”

This is the beginning of team building. If someone messes up, everyone suffers.

7. “WTF do you mean these uniforms are deducted from my paycheck?”

 

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
Photo: Scott A. Thornbloom/USN

Terrible haircuts, tighty whities, and hygiene products are deducted from recruits’ below-minimum-wage salaries.

8. “WTF is this Monopoly Money? I thought I was going to get paid in bills, not chits.”

During boot camp sailors are given chits – paper notes used as money – to purchase their toiletries and other products from Ricky Heaven (the only store and recreation center at boot camp). This “Monopoly money” is deducted from their pay, but the surprise usually causes a wtf moment.

9. “Wait, why do I have to remove my gas mask? Isn’t the point of wearing the mask to protect me from the gas?”


navy recruits
Photo: Wikimedia Commons

The gas chamber teaches recruits to trust their equipment and focus on the task at hand. This exercise starts with the RDC explaining the logistics of the evolution followed by the effect of CS (Chlorobenzylidene-malononitrile) gas: crying, sneezing, breathing difficulty, temporary blindness, drooling, runny nose, itching, and skin irritation. These recruits in this picture are cupping their mouths because they’re prohibited from vomiting or drooling in the chamber. Violating this rule results in staying behind to clean up after themselves.

NOW: 5 brilliant military hacks that are useless everywhere else

OR: 7 lies sailors tell their parents while deployed

Lists

8 of the top federal agencies ranked by Americans

A survey released earlier this month shows just how approving Americans are of each branch of their federal government.


Between Dec. 18 and 19, 2017, Gallup gathered information from well over a thousand Americans.

Related: 6 of the funniest comedic military sketches ranked

According to that data, these are the eight most-loved federal agencies, as ranked by Americans in 2017. We added a bonus one just for sh*ts and giggles.

8. FEMA — 55%

In 1979, former President Jimmy Carter signed the executive order that created the Federal Emergency Management Agency as a way to help support citizens prepare for, prevent, and recover from disasters.

In 2014, FEMA was at a 47% approval rating and has since climbed the charts.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds
FEMA booth in a hardware store in Puerto Rico. (Source: Wikipedia Commons)

7. NASA — 56%

2017 was a good year for the National Aeronautics and Space Administration as astronaut Peggy Whitson set a record for spaceflight and the Cassini spacecraft completed its groundbreaking mission to Saturn.

In 2014, NASA was at a paltry 50% approval rating. Clearly, they’re doing something right.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

6. CIA — 57%

In 2014, the Central Intelligence Agency sported an approval rating of 49%, but it’s a complete secret as to why they climbed higher in 2017.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

5. FBI — 58%

The Federal Bureau of Investigation had a busy year investigating famous political figures and cracking down on fraud and money laundering cases.

In the eyes of the public, the Bureau had a “so-so” year, as their approval rating seems to have plateaued at 58% since 2014.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

4. DHS — 59%

The Department of Homeland Security’s mission is to provide a secure environment for our nation. They dabble in various areas, including border security and cybersecurity.

It was reportedly an intense year for them in the eyes of the public, as their numbers have climbed a strong 11% since 2014.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

3. Secret Service — 63%

The brave men and women who consistently stand guard protecting our president increased their approval rating by 20% since three years ago.

That’s impressive.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

2. CDC — 66%

The Centers for Disease Control work with some of the most dangerous bacteria and germs on earth to provide their clients (the world) with the most efficient ways to maintain public health.

Their 16% approval increase doesn’t come as a surprise as they continue to fight against the spread of illness.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

Also Read: 6 of the best Marine recruiting commercials ranked

1. USPS — 74%

The U.S. Postal Service earned the highest rating in this survey. They came in with a remarkable 72% rating in 2014, which means they’re still improving on a job well done.

Bravo Zulu to the U.S. Postal Service.

11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

Bonus: Department of Veterans Affair

Interestingly, but not surprising to veterans, the VA was ranked very last, coming in at only 38%. However, the percentage is a 9% increase from 2014.

But, the growth just wasn’t good enough.

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