These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military - We Are The Mighty
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These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

Over the years Hollywood has shed both positive and negative light on the military experience. While the biographical examples might face severe scrutiny over matters of accuracy, here are 8 fictional military characters who inarguably wouldn’t cut it in the real deal:


1. Ensign Charles Beaumont Parker – “McHale’s Navy”

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

When the military is used as the basis for a sitcom, it’s inevitable that some of the troops won’t exactly be up to snuff. Ensign Parker brings that to another level, actively causing harm to U.S. and Allied Forces. (The show takes place during World War II.) He accidentally fires a depth charge in one episode, and in another accidentally shoots down an Allied aircraft. That’s a level of ineptitude the United States military wouldn’t and frankly couldn’t stand for.

2. Buster Bluth – “Arrested Development”

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

Buster is enlists in “Army,” as he calls it, due to a dare a comedian makes to his mother. And lucky for him, he’s immediately honorably discharged after having his hand bit off by a seal. In season 4, he re-enlists to control drones in Iraq. Buster has a blast – until someone explains to him that what he’s doing is real, and he immediately has a panic attack. Then again, Buster once had a panic attack because a llama was near him. He might tell you he’s in Army, but he isn’t Army Strong.

3. Beetle Bailey – “Beetle Bailey”

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

One thing you certainly can’t be in any branch of the military is lazy, and Beetle Bailey is perhaps the laziest of them all. He’ll do anything to get out of work, including putting his fellow soldiers, and commanding officers, at serious risks. Luckily, the characters at Camp Swampy don’t seem to face any particular risk of war being declared, and therefore will likely avoid any form of actual combat. If they did face an enemy attack, or were sent to fight someplace, chances are Beetle Bailey would be too lazy to even raise his arms.

4. Gareth Keenan – “The Office” (BBC version)

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

There’s no real reason to doubt Gareth Keenan when he claims he was a Lieutenant in the Territorial Army before joining Wernam-Hogg, aside from how utterly clueless he seems to be when Tim and Dawn quiz him about tactical strategy. Gareth talks a big game, always being prepared to take a man from behind, give a man a lethal blow, or even discharge with rapid speed if enemies should uncover and enter his hole — you know, find out where he’s hiding. The fact Gareth never seems to understand the double entendres behind his own boasts kind of makes him look foolish, perhaps too foolish to actually achieve any kind of rank.

5. Zapp Brannigan – “Futurama”

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

Zapp may be a 25-Star General in the Year 3000, buts its impossible to imagine he’d last a single day in any branch of the U.S. military. No part of Brannigan’s success makes sense. Although Brannigan’s Law is named after him, he openly admits he doesn’t understand it in the slightest. In fact, most of Brannigan’s successes are subjugating and annihilating weak and defenseless aliens, which, while smart satire, isn’t something that would actually be tolerated in the military.

6. Don Draper – “Mad Men”

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

Don’s a special case on this list, in that his whole story is that he quite literally couldn’t make it in the military. As fans now know, Draper’s mystery actually began with him as Dick Whitman, but things dramatically changed during the Korean War. Terrible things happen during war, and its hard to say how any individual would react when faced with the horrors Whitman and his Lieutenant, the real Don Draper, faced. But what’s clear is Whitman’s reaction is highly illegal and wouldn’t be tolerated in any military.

7. Homer Simpson – “The Simpsons”

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

Homer Simpson has had over 100 jobs, and he’s been terrible at nearly every one of them. His time in the service still manages to rank among his most inept. Homer actually joined the service twice—first as a member of the Navy Reserve in Season 9, then in Season 18 he enlisted in the Army. As a member of the Navy Reserve, Homer nearly caused a nuclear war with Russia, and in the Army he turned a training exercise into a city-wide explosive event. The military always welcomes recruits, but Homer should probably stick to his hundreds of other jobs.

8. Dave Titus – “Titus”

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

Everyone in the Titus family seems to think it would be a great idea for Dave to join the Army. It could teach him responsibility and get him to stop doing drugs and being lazy. However, his brother Christopher sees it a different way: the Army isn’t going to bring Dave up; Dave’s going to bring the Army down. Fearing “Private Dave” could somehow cause nuclear destruction, Christopher gives Dave some pot to smoke on the way to recruitment, hoping this story will find a less destructive end.

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Video: This is why Germany and Japan are starting to arm up

More than seven decades after the start of World War II, Germany and Japan have begun to rearm.


These days, the countries are two of America’s closest allies. But they can’t singlehandedly project military power outside of their own borders.

In fact, the building of an offensive army is prohibited by the post-WWII constitutions of both Germany and Japan. And when the Cold War ended, it took a lot of the emphasis on building a strong military away from those vanquished nations.

Related: Japan’s aircraft carrier comeback has been quiet and impressive

There just wasn’t an enemy to fight that rivaled the threat posed by the Soviet Union.

Until now.

The rise of transnational terrorism sparked renewed efforts in developing Germany and Japan’s defense capabilities. The two countries’ defensive posture was designed around limited self-defense capabilities.

The U.S.-led invasion of Afghanistan in 2001 after the terror attacks on Sept. 11 was the first time NATO allies rallied and mobilized for mutual offensive action. Now, the threat of ISIS has made the need for an expanded military capacity even more pressing.

Learn more in the video below.

From Seeker Daily

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Army relaxes standards on beards, turbans and dreadlocks

Female Soldiers may now wear dreadlocks and male Soldiers whose religious faith requires beards and turbans may now seek permanent accommodation.


Army directive 2017-03, signed earlier this month, spells out changes to Army Regulation 670-1, the uniform policy, for the turban, worn by male Soldiers, the under-turban; male hair worn under a turban; the hijab, which is a head scarf worn by females; and beards worn by male members.

Sgt. Maj. Anthony J. Moore, the uniform policy branch sergeant major inside the Army’s G-1, said the policy change was made largely as a way to increase diversity inside the service, and to provide opportunity for more Americans to serve in uniform.

“This is so we can expand the pool of people eligible to join the Army,” Moore said. “There was a section of the population who previously were unable to enlist in the Army. This makes the Army better because you’re opening the doors for more talent. You’re allowing people to come in who have skills the Army can use.”

Female Soldiers have been asking for a while for permission to wear “locks,” or dreadlocks, Moore said.

“We understood there was no need to differentiate between locks, corn rows, or twists, as long as they all met the same dimension,” Moore said. “It’s one more option for female hairstyles. Females have been asking for a while, especially females of African-American decent, to be able to wear dreadlocks, and locks, because it’s easier to maintain that hairstyle.”

The Army directive says that each lock or dreadlock “will be of uniform dimension; have a diameter no greater than 1/2 inch; and present a neat, professional, and well-groomed appearance.”

All female Soldiers can opt to wear the dreadlocks, Moore said.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
Spc. Harpal Singh, with Charlie Company, 3rd Battalion, 60th Infantry Regiment, watches as his fellow Soldiers go through the Slide to Victory obstacle at the Fort Jackson Confidence Course. (Photo Credit: Robert Timmons)

The Army has granted waivers to Sikh Soldiers since 2009 to wear a turban in lieu of issued Army headgear, and allowed those same Soldiers to wear the turban indoors when Army headgear would normally be removed. Moore said for those Soldiers, the waivers were permanent, but that it was unclear Army-wide that this was the case. That is no longer true, he said.

The new policy is that religious accommodation for Soldiers wanting to wear the turban needs to be requested only once, and that the accommodation will apply to them for their entire Army career.

In an Army directive dated Jan. 3, then-Secretary of the Army Eric K. Fanning made official the policy regarding the wear of turbans, beards, hijabs, and under-turbans.

“Based on the successful examples of Soldiers currently serving with these accommodations, I have determined that brigade-level commanders may approve requests for these accommodations, and I direct that the wear and appearance standards established in … this directive be incorporated into AR 670-1,” Fanning wrote in the directive.

“With the new directive, which will be incorporated into the Army regulation, religious accommodations are officially permanent for Soldiers,” Moore said.

Also a change: whereas in the past requests for such accommodation rose to the Pentagon before they could be approved, permission can now be granted by brigade-level commanders. Bringing approval down to that level, Moore said, speeds up the approval process dramatically.

That was the intent, Moore said. “They are trying to speed up the process for the Army and for the Soldier.”

Moore said the same religious accommodation rules apply for those Soldiers seeking to wear a beard for religious reasons, and to female Soldiers who want to wear a hijab as well.

If brigade-level commanders feel it inappropriate to approve the accommodation for some reason, he said, then they can recommend disapproval, but it must be channeled to the GCMCA for decision. Under the new policy, requests for religious accommodations that are not approved at the GCMCA-level will come to the secretary of the Army or designee for a final decision.

Still at issue for Soldiers is wear of a beard in conjunction with a gas mask.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
A Marine makes sure his gas mask has a proper seal to keep contaminants away from his face. Beards can inhibit a proper seal. (U.S. Marine Corps photo)

“Study results show that beard growth consistently degrades the protection factor provided by the protective masks currently in the Army inventory to an unacceptable degree,” Fanning wrote in the Army directive. “Although the addition of a powered air-purifying respirator and/or a protective mask with a loose-fitting facepiece has demonstrated potential to provide adequate protection for bearded individuals operating in hazardous environments, further research, development, testing, and evaluation are necessary to identify masks that are capable of operational use and can be adequately maintained in field conditions.”

Moore said that until further testing is completed, and alternatives are found to protect bearded Soldiers in environments that are affected or are projected to be affected by chemical weapons, Soldiers with beards may be told to shave them in advance, with specific and concrete evidence of an expected chemical attack.

If a chemical warfare threat is immediate, Moore said, instructions to shave their beards would come from higher up, at the General Court-Martial Convening Authority-level — typically a division-level commander.

Likewise, Soldiers who seek religious accommodation to wear a beard will not be allowed to attend the Army schools required for entry into chemical warfare-related career fields, Moore said.

For wear of the beard, Moore said, the new directive allows for beards to be as long as the Soldier wants, so long as the beard can be rolled up and compressed to less than two inches from the bottom of the chin. Additionally, for those Soldiers wearing a beard under a religious accommodation, the rules for wearing a mustache are also new. Mustaches may extend past the corners of the mouth, but must be trimmed or groomed to not cover the upper lip.

Maj. Kamaljeet Kalsi, a civil affairs officer in the Army Reserve’s 404th Civil Affairs Battalion at Fort Dix, New Jersey, is a Sikh Soldier who wears both a turban and a beard. He said he welcomes the new policy change as an indication that the Army is now looking to both accolade his faith, and to open its doors to talent in the United States that might have been previously untapped.

“It means a lot to us,” Kalsi said. “And not just to Sikh Americans, but I think Americans that value religious freedom and religious liberty, and value diversity. I think it means a lot to all of us. To me it says the nation is moving in a direction that the founders intended, a pluralistic democracy that represents all. I think we’re a stronger nation when we can draw from the broadest amount of talent, the broadest talent pool. And it makes us a stronger military when the military looks like the people it serves.”

Capt. Simratpal Singh, with the 249th Engineer Battalion prime power section, said the policy is for him about acceptance.

“On a personal level, it means that I can serve freely and without having to worry about any stipulations or constraint,” he said. “That’s all I want: is to serve in the U.S. Army just like any of my peers.”

Because the next edition of AR 670-1 is expected to be published next month, the Army will not be able to include the new rules. But Moore said Soldiers can expect to see these most recent changes in the AR 670-1 that comes out at this time next year.

 

MIGHTY MOVIES

Everything you need to know about all those Marvel announcements

“It was inevitable.” After breaking the internet with a twitter storm of announcements, Disney finally dropped the next projects coming from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Phase Three wrapped itself up with Avengers: Endgame and Spider-Man: Far from Home and now, my friends, it’s time for Phase Four. 

1. WandaVision

Marvel has been teasing its unusual launch into Disney+ streaming series, which will begin with WandaVision on Jan. 15, 2021. On Dec. 10, Marvel Studios released a second trailer for the show, which places Elizabeth Olsen’s Scarlet Witch in some kind of alternate dimension that opens in a 50s sitcom and progresses through the next few decades. The fate of Vision seems sealed after Avengers: Infinity Wars, but Wanda is set to make a showing in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.

Speaking of which…

2. Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness

Set to debut on March 25, 2022, Benedict Cumberbatch’s Doctor Strange will return to the big screen alongside an incredible cast that includes Rachel McAdams, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Xochitl Gomez, who will play America Chavez, a new fan-favorite from the comics.

3. The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson finally have a fun trailer for fans to enjoy. It has some banter, some levity, and its own take on a canyon flight sequence. At the end of Avengers: Endgame, Captain Steve Rogers gave the mantle of Captain America to Sam Wilson, who must now learn how to carry its legacy. Meanwhile, Barnes is fresh out of therapy in Wakanda and ready for adventures with his new buddy.

4. Black Widow

Originally set to premiere in the summer of 2020, Black Widow is now set to be released on May 7, 2021. There are a few MCU pieces that feature heroes who have since died in the timeline, and Black Widow is one of them. When we first met Natasha Romanoff, she had “red in her ledger” and was trying to make her past right. In sacrificing herself for her friend, and for everyone Thanos snapped out of existence, she did just that. 

Now, her feature film will give us a little more insight into that ledger of hers.

5. Loki

Loki is another character who was killed in the Infinity Wars; a trickster demi-god who wormed his way into our hearts…and then stole the Tesseract in an alternate timeline and ended up…well…in his own series coming to Disney+ in May 2021. 

Dead Loki is in a strange dimension. Dead Vision and living Wanda are in a strange dimension. Doctor Strange will be in a Multiverse of Madness. I’m sensing a trend in Phase Four. 

6. What If…?

“Why stop at one world when we can show you all of them?” asks Yondu Udonta, the adoptive father of Peter Quill aka Star-Lord aka Chris Pratt in Guardians of the Galaxy. What If…? Will explore alternate Marvel Cinematic Universes where one tiny thing changed the whole world. “For instance, what if it was Peggy Carter who received the Super Soldier Serum instead of Steve Rogers? What if T’Challa traveled the galaxy as a young boy with space outlaw Yondu and was the man who became Starlord?” poses Polygon.

Of all the trailers and announcements Disney dropped this week, this one has the most amount of Easter Eggs to look for. 

7. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

Shang-Chi is an incredibly advanced martial artist with proficiencies in many different weapon types. In the comics, he also has the ability to duplicate himself, leading him on a path to the Avenger Initiative. Simu Liu (Blood and Water) plays the titular character in the film, which is now set to be released on July 9, 2021.

8. Ms. Marvel

“Ms. Marvel is a new kind of superhero but at the core of it, she’s so universal,” observed Bisha K. Ali, the showrunner and head writer for Ms. Marvel. Played by Iman Vellani, Kamala Khan is a Muslim Pakistani-American teenager from New Jersey with latent Inhuman lineage. The series will follow the young superhero-to-be as she transforms with her powers.

Take another look: 

9. Captain Marvel

Iman Vellani will reprise her role as Kamala Kahn in Captain Marvel 2, directed by Nia DaCosta (Little Woods). Here’s what we know about the film so far: ummmm not much. Brie Larson will return and Teyonah Parris will reprise her upcoming WandaVision role of a grown-up Monica Rambeau, the child of Carol Danvers’ best friend and wingwoman.

10. Eternals

Eternals is going to be a fun one to look out for. Not only is the cast fantastic (an MCU standard at this point — major props to Sarah Finn Casting) but the director Chloé Zhao is fresh off a successful critical run of Nomadland so we can expect great things from her. According to Marvel, this film will “feature an exciting new team of Super Heroes in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, ancient aliens who have been living on Earth in secret for thousands of years. Following the events of Avengers: Endgame, an unexpected tragedy forces them out of the shadows to reunite against mankind’s most ancient enemy, the Deviants.”

11. Hawkeye

Hawkeye is cool but are you familiar with Kate Bishop? Hailee Steinfeld will make her Marvel debut as the fan-favorite superhero. We’ve seen images of Hawkeye in production and we know it’s set to release in late 2021, but other than that, the show is pretty much a mystery.

12. She-Hulk

Tatiana Maslany (Orphan Black) will officially portray Jennifer Walters/She-Hulk and Mark Ruffalo will join her as the Hulk. Directed by Kat Coiro and Anu Valia with Jessica Gao listed as the head-writer, She-Hulk definitely makes it clear that Marvel is getting the message that women want to tell women’s stories. Can’t wait to see this one.

13. Moon Knight

Moon Knight is another grittier Marvel character. Marc Spector struggles with multiple personalities and amoral inclinations — this makes sense given that he’s also a U.S. Marine (wink). In the comics he was also a CIA operative before turning to a mercenary path that would lead him to his dark alias.

TEASERS:

Marvel wasn’t done yet. With not much more information than a title announcement and maybe some cast members, here are some more projects we can see down the line from the MCU: Secrete Invasion, starring Samuel L. Jackson’s Nick Fury and Ben Mendelsohn’s Skrull Talos; Ironheart, a story about the inventor Riri Williams, whose suit of armor might even compete with Iron Man’s; Armor Wars, starring Don Cheadle’s James Rhodes aka War Machine; I Am Groot, an original series of shorts starring Baby Groot and several “new and unusual characters;” Thor: God of Love and Thunder just announced its new villain: Gorr the God Butcher — and don’t forget that Natalie Portman is slated to play Lady Thor; Blade, a new feature film about the daywalking vampire slayer played by Mahershala Ali; Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, starring Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Michael Douglas, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kathryn Newton as Cassie Lang, and Jonathan Majors as Kang the Conqueror; Black Panther 2, which will explore the world of Wakanda without recasting the role of T’Challa, played by the late and remarkable Chadwick Boseman; Fantastic Four — yes, another one.

And last but not least, it’s true: there will be a Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special directed by James Gunn. Because why the hell not?

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How Russia keeps Lenin looking young

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
Lenin’s tomb | Photo via Wikimedia


When a country’s founder dies, they become a lasting national symbol. But rarely has a founder’s actual corpse been the symbol.

That’s because it’s hard to keep a dead body looking good year after year, decade after decade. Just ask the Russians.

Immediately following communist leader Vladimir Lenin’s passing in 1924, scientists and technicians injected the corpse with embalming fluid and squeezed it into a rubber suit containing preservatives. The Russian government built a wooden tomb and put the revolutionary on display in Moscow’s Red Square.

The tomb has changed since then, but Lenin’s body looks as good as ever. But such unearthly beauty comes at a high cost — almost $200,000 a year.

That figure comes from an official notice from Russia’s procurement agency. It cites an annual cost of 13 million rubles for the “biomedical” procedure that keeps Lenin in a “lifelike condition.”

The cost of upkeep has fluctuated since 1924. Russian taxpayers have mostly been on the hook for the bill — except for a brief period following the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991. Private donations kept the body beautiful until Moscow could once again take over the ghastly duty.

Attitudes toward Lenin have also changed over the years. During the Soviet years, Russians viewed Lenin as a kind of communist saint. Millions visited his tomb. But after the ’91 collapses, people were free to express opinions they’d long kept to themselves.

That catharsis culminated in a 1998 art exhibit for which artist Yury Shabelnikov baked a lifesize cake replica of Lenin’s interred body and filmed local school children devouring it. The still extant communist party called for an investigation, but its pleas fell on deaf ears.

The science behind preserving Lenin’s corpse is impressive and bizarre. According to Scientific American, upkeep requires a team of five or six scientists.

Every other year, the scientists re-embalm the corpse, “submerging the body in separate solutions of glycerol solution baths, formaldehyde, potassium acetate, alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, acetic acid solution and acetic sodium.”

“They have to substitute occasional parts of skin and flesh with plastics and other materials,” University of California, Berkeley social anthropology professor Alexei Yurchak told the science magazine.

Lenin’s death-bath takes a month and a half.

Damage happens and science can only do so much. During the height of the Soviet era, more than 200 people worked to keep Lenin looking fresh. Technicians sewed artificial eyelashes on to the leader, swapped decaying chunks of the man’s face and nose with a mix of paraffin, glycerin and carotene and once replaced portions of his foot when it went missing in 1945.

Today, Russians overwhelming favor burying Lenin. But Pres. Vladimir Putin has pushed back against the idea. In 2001, he told the public that interring the corpse would send a signal to the Russian people that they’d lived under false values during the Soviet era.

Questioned about the expensive embalming in 2012, Putin deflected. “We can see holy remains in the Kiev-Pechora Monastery and in other places,” he said, implying that it’s totally normal to keep historical figures’ bodies on display, well, forever.

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These are the top ISIS leaders killed by the coalition (so far)

The life expectancy of a known jihadi fighting the U.S. and its allies is not very long. If they aren’t killed as Iraqis retake towns and cities, then they are likely to be killed or captured in night raids conducted by special forces or in a drone strike.


ISIS leaders are in the crosshairs more than any other bad guy group these days. Here’s a list of leaders that coalition attacks have helped shuffle off this mortal coil:

1. Fadhil Ahmad al-Hayali (aka “Haji al-Mutazz,” aka Ned Price)

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

This righthand man to ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi was killed in August 2015. The IS deputy was the top weapons procurer and logistician for the terror group. His death sparked off a number of internal reprisals against those the terror group suspected of leaking important information to Western intelligence.

2. Omar al-Shishani (aka “Omar the Chechen”)

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

Of all the ISIS leaders killed in action, he’s the most ISIS. He  was widely considered to be the terror group’s minister of war. He was killed as a result of an American airstrike in March 2016, near the Syrian border city of Shadadi. He survived the initial strike, but later died of his wounds. It’s not known why they called him “the Chechen,” because he is from Georgia.

Shishani also headed the terror group’s main prison in Raqqa, Syria. The U.S. State Department once offered $5 million for information leading to the capture of Shishani. Shishani was also called “Abu Meat” by detractors, because he had a reputation of staying in the rear with the gear while ordering others into battle.

Related: US special operators show off the gear used against ISIS

3. Abd al-Rahman Mustafa al-Qaduli (aka “Hajji Imam”)

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

In a March effort to capture this senior IS commander, U.S. special operators originally planned to disable his vehicle from the air, land a helicopter, and then take him into custody. Instead, they lit up the vehicle, killing al-Qaduli. He was the group’s top financier.

4. Fathi ben Awn ben Jildi Murad al-Tunisi (aka “Abu Sayyaf”)

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

British SAS and American Delta Force elements raided the house of Abu Sayyaf, ISIS’ chief oil minister and a high-ranking commander in Deir-ez-Zor, Syria. Abu Sayyaf was shot twice in the chest as he went for a weapon. His wife, called Umm Sayyaf by the Daily Mail, claimed to be a Yazidi sex slave. (Sayyaf and his wife ran ISIS’ sex slave network.) His actual Yazidi sex slave was freed by the operators. His wife was captured.

5. Tariq al-Harzi

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

Also known as the “Emir of Suicide Bombers” he was killed in June 2015 by coalition airstrikes in Syria. He was another logistics expert for ISIS, managing the movement of men and materiel between Iraq and Syria and the support and recruiting for ISIS operations in North Africa.

6. Junaid Hussein

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

A British citizen, Hussein was the critical operative in the Garland, Texas cartoon contest attack in 2015 and an effective ISIS recruiter. He was killed in Raqqa, Syria by a coalition airstrike. Raqqa is supposed to be a safe haven for the fighters. He was hit by a missile fired from a drone. Hussein was central to the plot of attacking the homes of U.S. service members after ISIS hackers posted their home addresses.

7. “Abu Maryam”

Called an ISIS enforcer and senior leader of their extortion network, Maryam was killed in a December 2015 airstrike. Since extortion is one of the top ways ISIS raises money, the death of Maryam was likely a blow to that revenue stream. He was killed in an air strike near the Iraqi city of Tal Afar.

Related: Sex, drugs, and Bitcoin: The 10 ways ISIS pays the bills

8. Muwaffaq Mustafa Mohammed al-Karmoush (aka “Abu Salah”)

As part of the apparent effort to disrupt the group’s fundraising and ability to use those funds, the U.S. also hit ISIS’ chief accountant. Abu Sarah (Abu is not his real first name. “Abu” means “father of” in Arabic, and is often used as a nickname) was responsible for paying fighters’ salaries in Northern Iraq, where they are fighting a mixture of Kurdish Peshmerga, Iraqi Army, and Shia militias backed by Iranian Quds Force operators.

9. Wissam Najm Abd Zayd al-Zubaydi (aka “Abu Nabil”)

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

Abu Nabil was killed in an F-15 strike in the Libyan coastal city of Derna. He was an Iraqi who one fought for al-Qaeda but turned to spearheading ISIS operations in Libya. He was the first ISIS leader killed by Western strikes in Libya. His December 2015 death hampered the terror group’s ability to recruit and establish bases in Libya.

10. Sleiman Daoud al-Afari

Afari is unique on this list because he was the only one captured, interrogated, and handed over to the Iraqi government, instead of being outright killed. Afari was ISIS chief chemical weapons engineers. He learned the trade under the regime of Saddam Hussein in Iraq. He told officials about ISIS efforts to develop everything from mustard gas to Sarin nerve gas.

11. Mohammed Emwazi (aka “Jihadi John”)

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

Emwazi was a significant ISIS operative because of his command of English led him to be the voice of the terror group’s propaganda efforts. Jihadi John was killed in a drone strike in Raqqa, Syria. Starting in August 2014, he appeared in ISIS beheading videos and was a celebrity in the group. He played no important spiritual or military role.

12. Abu Rahman al-Tunisi

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

An IS executive officer who coordinated the movement of arms, money, people, and information. Hitting al-Tunisi likely significantly disrupted ISIS’ command and control capabilities.

13. Charaffe al-Mouadan

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

Central to the ISIS attacks in Paris in November 2015, Moudan was killed in an airstrike in Syria the following December.

14. Fayez al-Shaalaan (aka “Abu Fawz”)

Shaalaan was the ISIS leader in the Arsal region of Syria, near neighboring Lebanon. In the northern areas of Lebanon, fighting between ISIS and the al-Qaeda allied Nusra Front fighter spills into Lebanese territory. The Lebanese Army routinely engages these fighters.

BONUS: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi (maybe)

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

The “Caliph” of ISIS, the overall leader of the terror group was the target of an Iraqi airstrike. It’s unknown whether or not Baghdadi was killed in the October 2015 strike. (CNN reported the leader was taken away in a vehicle to an unknown location.)

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You had to bet your life to graduate from the Vietnam-era Recondo school

When Maj. Gen. William Westmoreland took command of the 101st Airborne in 1958, he noticed a severe lack of proficiency in small-unit tactics and patrolling.


So he immediately created a school to fix the problem.

When he took command of all American forces in the Vietnam War, he once again created a school to teach long-range patrolling and small unit tactics with a Ranger-qualified cadre of instructors from the 5th Special Forces Group. To graduate from this school, you had to bet your life on it.

Dubbed “Recondo” school, Westmoreland claimed it was an amalgamation of Reconnaissance, Commando, and Doughboy. Recondo training emphasized both reconnaissance and standard infantry skills at the small unit level.

In 1960, Army Magazine described the Recondo tactics as “dedicated to the domination of certain areas of the battlefield by small aggressive roving patrols of opportunity which have not been assigned a definite reconnaissance or combat mission.” From these graduates, the 101st developed the Recondo Patrol.

This patrol type was meant to allow a Recondo to create as much havoc as possible in their area of operations. The patrol could be used against a disorganized enemy, as a screen for retrograde operations, to develop a situation or conduct a feint ahead of an advancing force, or to eliminate guerrilla activity.

It was the last ability that Recondos would put to great use in Vietnam.

The Recondo school was set up at Nha Trang and was inspired but the highly successful Long-Range Reconnaissance Patrol training conducted by detachment B-52 from 5th Special Forces. This program, known as Project Delta, was originally intended to train Special Forces and their Vietnamese counterparts in guerrilla-like ambushes.

The course became so popular that within two years over half of the students were from regular Army units. Westmoreland expanded the school to teach Recondo tactics to as many LRRPs as possible.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
Two 1st Cav LRRP teams in July 1968. All team leaders were Recondo grads.

In order to qualify for the MACV Recondo school, participants had to be in-country at least one month and have at least six months remaining on their tour upon completion. Students also had to have a combat arms MOS and an actual or pending assignment to an LRRP unit. Finally, they had to be in excellent physical shape and be proficient in general military knowledge.

The school was open to soldiers and marines of the Free World Military Assistance Forces, including the South Vietnamese, Koreans, Australians, and Filipinos. Many U.S. Marines also attended the training.

The curriculum of the school included improving students’ skills in the areas of map reading, intelligence gathering, weapons training, and communications. Weapons training included a variety of American weapons as well as weapons used by the Viet Cong and North Vietnamese army. Particular attention was also given to mines and booby-traps. Communications covered the use of several different radios, field expedient antennas, and proper message writing techniques.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
Recondo School trainees in the harsh rigors of long-range patrolling.

The school also gave advanced training in medical treatment, including the use of Ringer’s lactate solution and intravenous and intramuscular injections. Schooling also focused on air operations – especially the use of the UH-1 Huey helicopter for insertions and extractions. Forward Air Controller techniques were taught with students calling in live ordnance on a target.

Most importantly, the school taught patrolling.

Students learned different patrolling techniques, preparation, and organization. Proper patrol security was taught along with intelligence-gathering techniques. The students trained heavily in immediate action drills to react to or initiate enemy contact.

After over 300 hours of training, averaging over 12 hours per day, it was time for the students to take the final exam: an actual combat patrol.

In the early days of the program, the area the prospective graduates patrolled was relatively secure and quiet. As the war progressed, however, contact with the enemy became a given. This led to students saying “you bet your life” to graduate from Recondo School.

At least two students died in Recondo training with many others wounded. An unknown number of Viet Cong were also killed in the skirmishes during the “you bet your life” patrol. This led to the school itself receiving a nickname of its own: “the deadliest school on earth”.

In just over four years of operation, over 5,600 students attended Recondo school. Just 3,515 men graduated, not quite two-thirds of all who tried. Each student who graduated was awarded a Recondo patch, worn on the right breast pocket, and an individual Recondo number that was recorded in their 201 personnel file. The Honor Graduate from each class was also given a specially engraved Recondo knife.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
A Recondo graduate is presented with medals ca 1968.

Despite the school and its graduates’ success, Westmoreland’s successor, Gen. Creighton Abrams, officially closed the school on December 19, 1970. The Recondo name and training lived on, as some divisions continued to host their own Recondo schools until they were eventually closed too.

Articles

This poor Abrams tank got stuck in the mud — then got un-stuck

Look, it can happen to just about any vehicle. They get stuck in the mud. Still, it’s not nice to laugh about the situation. SHOW SOME DARN RESPECT!


Here, we can see that an M1A1 Abrams is pretty thoroughly stuck. However, some wise-cracking NCOs got to work to get the tank out.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
An M1 Abrams stuck in the mud. (YouTube screenshot)

The M1A1 is about 70 tons, has a gas turbine engine (turn on the sound if you don’t believe us!) that delivers up to 1,500 horsepower, and is armed with a 120mm main gun as well as a .50-caliber M2 machine gun, along with two M240 7.62mm machine guns, one of which is mounted coaxially.

Surprisingly, it doesn’t take long to get the tank out of the mud. Which begs the question: just how long was this poor Abrams left stuck in the mud? Why was it left sitting there when it could have been out so quickly?

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
The tanks backs out, getting free of the obstacle. (Youtube screenshot)

Here’s the video, and judge for yourself if there is a need for the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Armored Fighting Vehicles.

Articles

Could USS San Antonio be the basis for BMD’s future?

Ballistic missile defense has become a growing concern. Russia has been modernizing not only its strategic forces, but has also deployed the Iskander tactical ballistic system. China has the DF-21 anti-ship ballistic missile. The need clearly exists for new assets to stop these missiles — or at least lessen the virtual attrition they would inflict.


Huntington Ingalls Industries has a solution — but this solution comes from a surprising basis. The company, which builds everything from Arleigh Burke-class destroyers to amphibious assault ships, has proposed using the hull of the San Antonio-class landing platform dock amphibious ship to mount.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
A close look at the radars and the VLS of a model of a proposed ballistic missile defense ship from Huntington Ingalls Industries displayed at the SeaAirSpace 2017 Expo. (Photo by Harold Hutchison)

The design is still a concept — there’s a lot of options in terms of what radars to use, and how the exact weapons fit would work. The model shows at the SeaAirSpace Expo 2017 featured 96 cells in the Mk 41 Vertical Launch System, or the equivalent of a Burke-class destroyer. That’s a low-end version, though. A handout provided says the system can hold as many as 288 cells. This is 225 percent of the capacity of a Ticonderoga-class cruiser, and 300 percent of an Arleigh Burke-class destroyer’s capacity.

Of course, the Mk41 can hold a number of missiles, including the RIM-66 SM-2, the RIM-174 SM-6, the RIM-161 SM-3 — all of which can knock down ballistic missiles. For local defense, a quad-pack RIM-162 Evolved Sea Sparrow Missile is an option. The Mk 41 also can launch the RUM-139 Vertical-Launch ASROC and the BGM-109 Tomahawk. In other words, this ballistic missile defense ship can do more than just play defense — it can provide a hell of an offensive punch as well.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
USS Hopper (DDG 70) fires a RIM-161 SM-3 missile in 2009. (U.S. Navy photo)

The handout also notes other armament options, including a rail gun, two Mk 46 chain guns, advanced radars, launchers for the RIM-116 Rolling Airframe Missile, and .50-caliber machine guns. Yes, even in a super-modern missile-defense vessel, Ma Deuce still has a place in the armament suite. No matter how you look at it, that is a lot of firepower.

The propulsion options include the diesel powerplants used on the San Antonio, providing a top speed of 22 knots. Using an integrated power system similar to that on the destroyer USS Zumwalt (DDG 1000) would get a top speed of about 29 knots, according to a Huntinton Ingals representative at the expo.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
A look at the sern of a model of a proposed ballistic missile defense ship displayed at SeaAirSpace2017 by Huntington Ingalls Industries. The well deck from the San Antonio is converted into a hangar – reminiscent of late World War II surface combatants. (Photo by Harold Hutchison)

The ship is still just a concept, but with President Trump proposing a 350-ship Navy, that concept could be a very awesome reality.

Articles

600 Fort Bliss soldiers prepare to deploy to Afghanistan and Iraq

Fort Bliss soldiers will be going on two major missions in the Middle East later this year, the Army announced March 29.


About 400 soldiers from the 1st Armored Division headquarters, including the Fort Bliss commanding general, will deploy this summer to Iraq. Another 200 soldiers will go to Afghanistan this spring.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
A CH-47 aircrew from Fort Bliss drops off soldiers during an air assault training operation. (U.S. Army photo by Spc. Aura E. Sklenicka)

“America’s tank division is highly trained and ready for this important mission,” said Maj. Gen. Robert “Pat” White, commanding general of the 1st Armored Division and Fort Bliss. He will deploy on the Iraq mission along with division Command Sgt. Maj. Danny Day.

“We are proud to work alongside our Iraqi allies and coalition partners to continue the fight against ISIS,” White added. “I’m extremely impressed by the commitment and sacrifice of our military families. It is their stalwart support and resilience that gives us the strength to serve.”

Soldiers from the division headquarters, the Headquarters and Headquarters Battalion and Division Artillery will take over the role as the Combined Joint Forces Land Component Command in Iraq.

The 1st Armored Division will be responsible for mission command of coalition troops who are training, advising, and assisting Iraqi security forces in their efforts to fight the Islamic State and other threats in an ongoing operation known as Inherent Resolve.

These soldiers will replace the 1st Infantry Division headquarters from Fort Riley, Kan., which has been serving in this role.

The division headquarters recently went through the Warfighter command post exercise at Fort Bliss in preparation for this deployment. The deployment is expected to last about nine months.

Brigadier General Mark H. Landes, a deputy commanding general at Fort Bliss, will serve as the acting senior commander at Fort Bliss during the deployment.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
A U.S. Army M109A6 Paladin conducts a fire mission in support of Operation Inherent Resolve. (U.S. Army photo by Spc. Christopher Brecht)

Also, about 200 soldiers from the 1st Armored Division Sustainment Brigade and its Special Troops Battalion will go to Afghanistan this spring and serve as the logistical headquarters for the entire theater of operation.

The brigade did a similar mission from May 2015 to February 2016, with about the same number of troops.

Colonel Michael Lalor, the commander of the Sustainment Brigade, called it a demanding mission but said his troops have been training for it since last summer.

The Sustainment Brigade will oversee a task force of about 2,000 soldiers, civilians, and contractors who will provide important support for U.S. and coalition troops in Afghanistan. The task force will provide water, food, ammunition, transportation services, and maintenance, Lalor said.

Command Sergeant Major Sean Howard, the brigade’s senior enlisted leader, said his soldiers have been training hard, including at the recent Warfighter exercise.

“We are ready to go; there is no doubt in my mind,” Howard said.

The Sustainment Brigade’s deployment is scheduled to last about six months.

MIGHTY MOVIES

5 military movies that deserve to have a sequel

We all know there’s a special place in Hollywood hell for film producers who make half-assed sequels to films we freakin’ love just to make a few bucks. The majority of the time, these sequels don’t live up to the genius of the original and they crash and burn.


Either the sequels make their debut too soon or the trailer fails to spark interest or they’re just plain bad.

But, when done correctly, sequels deliver more of the goodness of the original.

Related: 13 old school war movies every young trooper needs to watch

So, check out these five military movies that we think deserve a sequel — and why.

5. Fury

Actually, we think this film deserves a prequel.

Remember when War Daddy jumps out of a tank and kills that German soldier riding a white horse? Well, that opening scene takes place in the ruins of what appears to have been an epic battle. We also learn that a member of the crew fell in battle, but we don’t get much more information than that.

We think it’d be cool to see a full-length feature film of Fury’s crew rolling into battle for the first time.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
War Daddy and Norman square-off with the Nazis in Fury. (Source: Sony Pictures)

4. The Hurt Locker

Now, we know this film doesn’t deliver the most authentic military experience, but the film does end with Ssgt. William James walking toward another bomb threat as he begins yet another deployment. A sequel may not win any more Oscars, but it could be good if they aim for a little more realism (for example, this time maybe don’t pull on the command wire of a rigged daisy chain of IEDs).

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
Ssgt. William James pulls on a daisy chain of IEDs as he preps to defuse them. (Source: Summit Entertainment)

3. In The Army Now

In The Army Now features Pauly Shore as Bones, a complete slacker and electronics salesman who gets fired from his job and joins the United States Army Reserve with his buddy, specializing in water purification. Hilarity ensues as they find themselves in combat, eventually save the day, and go home just to open an electronics store.

We’re hoping that one day those reservists from Glendale, Ca. will get called back into action — to filter more water.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
Military comedy at its best. (Source: Hollywood Pictures)

2. A Few Good Men

In A Few Good Men, Nicholson drops perhaps one of the best lines ever delivered,

“You can’t handle the truth!”

This film shocked audiences and introduced us to the notion of “code red.” Now, we’re positive that Lt. Kaffee didn’t get out of the Navy right after getting his two Marine clients off the hook, so having him take on another case could be pretty exciting to watch if done right.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
He wants the freakin’ truth. (Source: Columbia)

Also Read: 5 more military myths that Hollywood swears are true

1. Heartbreak Ridge

Gunny Thomas Highway is the sh*t! Unfortunately, audiences have only caught the tail end of his combat-decorated career. There’s definitely room for more of his story to be told, and we think he deserves a prequel that shows his badass backstory.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

Bonus: Jarhead

Only kidding. They’ve made way too many of these suckers already.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

Have others in mind? Let us know in the comments.

Articles

US troops may take prominent role in attacking ISIS capital

US military forces seem poised to take a prominent role in the long-awaited battle to take down Raqqa, Syria, the capital of the self-proclaimed Islamic State.


Though the Pentagon has long downplayed the role of US ground troops in the fight against the ISIS terror group in Iraq and Syria, recent deployments of many more “boots on the ground” suggest they may be front-and-center in the coming months.

Earlier this week, a convoy of US Army Rangers riding in armored Stryker combat vehicles was seen crossing the border into Syria to support Kurdish military forces in Manbij. The convoy, identified by SOFREP as being from 3rd Ranger Battalion of the 75th Ranger Regiment, was the most overt use of US troops in the region thus far.

Related: Meet the female Peshmerga fighters battling ISIS

Until this most recent Ranger deployment, the Pentagon had adamantly stuck to the line that its “regional partners” — Iraqi security forces and Kurdish Peshmerga for the most part — were bearing the brunt of the battle.

But on Wednesday, another curious deployment seemed to counter that narrative. According to The Washington Post, US Marines from the 1st Battalion, 4th Marine regiment had left their ships to establish a combat outpost inside Syria that is apparently within striking distance of Raqqa.

“For the base in Syria to be useful, it must be within about 20 miles of the operations US-backed forces are carrying out,” the Post wrote.

The unit, part of the 11th Marine Expeditionary Unit, recently finished conducting training exercises in Oman and Djibouti. Its new outpost inside Syria has M777 Howitzers that fire 155mm projectiles, which are likely guarded by additional infantrymen at the site, according to The Post.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
U.S. Marines fire artillery to break up ISIS fighters attacking Kurdish and Peshmerga forces. | US Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Andre Dakis

Lt. Gen. Stephen Townsend, the commander of Operation Inherent Resolve, told the Fayetteville Observer last year that most US troops were in Iraq or Kuwait, though “some” were operating inside Syria.

Meanwhile, US special operations forces, who are said to be taking a training and advisory role with Iraqi and Kurdish forces, were quietly given more latitude to call in precision airstrikes and artillery. As the AP reported in February, advisors are now able to call in airstrikes without seeking approval from an operations center in Baghdad.

Additionally, advisors were embedded at lower echelons of Iraqi security forces at the brigade and battalion level, rather than division — meaning that US forces are increasingly getting closer to direct combat.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
Special Operations Command photo

Though the new directives were lauded by the Pentagon as “adding ‘precision’ to ground operations,” wrote The Institute for the Study of War, “it also underscores that US personnel are increasingly at the frontlines of the operation. Indicators from the new US Administration, including a proposed 10% budget increase for the Department of Defense, suggest that it may expand the level of US involvement in Iraq, beyond the Mosul operation.”

A spokesperson for the 11th Marine Expeditionary Unit did not respond to a request for comment.

Col. John Dorrian, a spokesman for OIR, said the moves into Syria were to pre-position US forces so they can provide logistical and fire support to “Syrian partnered forces” who will eventually assault Raqqa.

Related: ISIS Fighters ordered to flee or blow themselves up

The Marines and Rangers will provide the “commander greater agility to expedite the destruction of ISIS in Raqqah. The exact numbers and locations of these forces are sensitive in order to protect our forces, but there will be approximately an additional 400 enabling forces deployed for a temporary period to enable our Syrian partnered forces to defeat ISIS,” Dorrian told Business Insider.

He added: “The deployment of these additional key enabling capabilities allows the Coalition to provide flexible all weather fire support, training and protection from IEDs, and additional air support to our Syrian partners.”

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
U.S. Special Operations personnel take cover to avoid flying debris as they prepare to board a UH-60 Black Hawk helicopter. | DoD photo by Petty Officer 2nd Class Clayton Weiss, U.S. Navy

The White House is considering whether to send another 1,000 American soldiers to Kuwait to serve as a “reserve force” for the Raqqa offensive, Reuters reported Wednesday. Officials who spoke with Reuters said there were about 6,000 US troops currently deployed in support of Operation Inherent Resolve, up from the 5,000 that was reported in January.

The presence of additional US ground troops inside Syria — even miles from the frontline — would bring with it considerable risk. Combat outposts often draw rocket and mortar fire, in addition to small arms. Last March, a Marine outpost established to support the operation to retake Mosul, Iraq came under rocket attack by ISIS militants, killing Staff Sgt. Louis Cardin.

A total of nine American service members have been killed in OIR combat operations, while 33 have been wounded, according to Pentagon statistics.

Articles

8 US Navy ship names better than ‘The Deplorables’

In December 2016, a petition on the White House’s official petition site, “We The People…” called for naming the next “major U.S. Navy ship” the “USS The Deplorables.


These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
The Navy’s newest Freedom-variant littoral combat ship, USS Detroit (LCS 7) is commissioned. (U.S. Navy photo)

Related: The Navy just commissioned its newest littoral combat ship

The suggestion is a reference to then-presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s remark at a September campaign event about putting “half of Trump’s supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables.”

If the petition gets more than 100,000 signatures in 30 days, the White House will have to give an official statement on the status of the petition. After 10 days, the petition had only 5,070 signatures – a rate that won’t hit the desired goal for a response from the White House.

Maybe the name suggestion is the issue. “The Deplorables” just doesn’t seem to resonate with enough potential petition signers, so we came up with these alternatives, the petitioners – and the U.S. Navy – might want to consider.

1. “USS Rob Ford”

Donald Trump is reminiscent of this oft-misunderstood foreign government executive. The Navy once named a ship after Winston Churchill, so there’s even a precedent for it.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
He also supports Israel. (Photo by Flickr user John Michael McGrath)

2. “USS Seinfeld”

As Patty and Selma Bouvier once noted, it’s easier to be popular by leeching the popularity of others. So we also suggest changing the name of the next ship to “Seinfeld.”

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

3. “Trump Ship”

Why not? Trump names most of his business ventures after himself. Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, Trump Magazine, Trump University, Trump Mortgage… you get it.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military

4. “USS Carlos Danger”

The Navy is overhauling a cargo ship, the Cragside, for a floating special operations base. Why not name it the Carlos Danger, for those times when your real identity needs to be a secret.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
He’s definitely deplorable. Also, he should post this screengrab on a wall as a reminder. (YouTube/Sundance Selects)

5. Ask Mountain Dew Drinkers

When you crowdsource the names of seagoing vessels to the general public, they come back with names like “Boaty McBoatface.” But this is a name for a ship in the U.S. Navy. There’s no room for cute.

So, limit the pool of respondents to people who drink Mountain Dew, by putting a code under the bottle that allows them to make a suggestion.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
Drinkers of Mountain Shoutin, Moutain Lion, Mountain Explosion, and Mountain Frost could also be accepted. But not Surge. (Flickr photo)

The potential responses are guaranteed to not be cute.

6. “USS Bloodsport”

One of President-Elect Trump’s favorite movies is the Jean-Claude Van Damme martial arts classic “Bloodsport.” We think he would love to name a ship after this, and probably thinks it would strike fear into the hearts of the enemy. Frankly, we couldn’t agree more.

7. “USS Steven Seagal”

It’s not a secret that Trump’s win could bring the United States closer to Russia. Why not bestow the honor of naming a ship after one of Russia’s favorite stars and newly-christened citizen, Steven Seagal.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
He also cooks.

8. “USNS Hillary Clinton”

This might anger Trump supporters at first — they were, after all, the target of the “deplorables” comment in the first place. But remember that it’s important to be a gracious winner.

These 8 TV characters would never survive in the real military
Hillary and the Dry Cargo Ship USNS Lewis and Clark have something in common. Neither were ever under sniper fire in Bosnia. (U.S. Navy photo)

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