In the first few weeks of boot camp, every recruit will get in a line during their medical evaluations to run the gauntlet of getting stuck in the arm with all sorts of needles. They may even have thermometers shoved into some uncomfortable places, despite having the technology to get that information from any number of other holes.
Welcome to the military!
But out of all the medications and vaccinations recruits get injected with throughout their processing week, none of them are as feared as the almighty “peanut butter” shot. This tasty-sounding treat isn’t reserved for any single branch of the military – everyone who joins the armed forces gets one.
While these drinkable peanut butter shots are awesome, the injectable ones we get in boot camp are far from exciting.
How the “Peanut Butter Shot” Works
That peanut butter-like substance is the antibiotic Bicillin, and it’s delivered in the meatiest part of the body: The six o’clock, the fourth point of contact, also known as “that ass.” Since Bicillin kills off a variety of bacterial strains in one shot, it’s given to nearly every recruit.
Once the recruit has assumed their most vulnerable position, the medical staff will attach a long and thick needle to a pre-filled vial of Bicillin. That’s when it’s delivered.
Now, once the medical staff injects the recruits in their butt cheek, the pain hits them like a bolt of electricity. The thick liquid begins to pour into the muscle, but it doesn’t spread as fast as you might think. In fact, it hangs around for a long, long time, serving as a constant reminder of your good health in the worst way.
“Oh, no” is right.
The human body absorbs the thick, peanut-butter looking medication at a slow rate because of the liquid’s density and creates a painful, red lump on the recruit’s ass. You can obtain an allergy exemption if you have a documented allergy, and then they’ll provide you with “peanut butter pills.”
We can confirm those do not taste like peanut butter.
If you’re lucky enough to get a peanut butter shot in the ass, you literally can’t sit right for a few days. Since some boot camps require their recruits to be highly active, the idea of adding intense physical movement to the shot’s excruciating pain just adds to the “peanut butter” shot’s awfulness.
Still, it’s better than meningitis.
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