Entertainment

5 reasons why being a super soldier would actually suck

In comic books and superhero movies, there's a constant trope about average troops being given superpowers to match their immense bravery and honest heart. From a story perspective, it makes sense. And according to the bumper stickers on most military spouses' mini-vans, not all heroes wear capes after all.


But in real life, if you manage to survive a super-soldier project, you won't be doing much superhero work. Take a look at Captain America for instance.

1. Uncle Sam would get his money's worth

There isn't an exact number put to how much it would cost to become a super soldier, but Forbes estimates the cost of Captain America at $54.6 Million. There's no way you'd get away with having that much money spent on you without constantly having to do military stuff.

You probably won't be doing Special Ops stuff, either. Your name and face would be everywhere and that's simply too much money to put on the line. Plus, if the Army learned you could clean an entire Connex in one minute, guess what you'll be doing...

That, or selling war bonds... (Paramount Pictures)

2. Everyone expects the best from you

Good luck trying to take it easy for a single moment.

You're going to be constantly working. You'll be on the move non-stop, saving everyone and doing the right thing. Even if the pressure weighs you down, you'll have to keep saving everyone.

God forbid you take a nap for 70 years... (Paramount Pictures)

3. No more private life

A common theme in comic books and movies is the protagonist trying to balance their public, superhero life and a personal life. That balance wouldn't be a thing for super soldiers.

They just don't get the opportunity to BE civilians. If they do have a personal life, it'll still just be doing regular military stuff.

You're still never going to watch all those films you told people you'd eventually get around to seeing. (Walt Disney Studios)

4. No more getting drunk

Captain America doesn't have a real weakness — except one. His superpowers and accelerated metabolism work too hard for him to get drunk.

No matter how much he drinks, he'll never get the pleasure of stumbling home after the bars close.

At least you can hold your own with a Norse god. (Walt Disney Studios)

5. You're never getting promoted... ever...

Once you've been given your superhero name, you can't really change it. It's your new identity. That's fine for every other superhero, but it's terrible for Captain America.

The 'Captain' in Captain America isn't some clever name. It was Captain Steve Rogers' actual rank in the U.S. Army. In The Ultimates, at least Colonel Nick Fury gets promoted to General.

Over 80 years of service and never promoted to Major. (Sony Pictures)

Bonus: At least chicks dig superheroes in uniform

It could be all the badass things he's done in WWII, it could also be the CIB he rocks, or it could even be the Pinks and Greens he's wearing. Either way...

It's totally the P&G's. (Paramount Pictures)