9 entertaining ways to discipline your troops
Whenever a military film comes on and the fictional non-commissioned officer gets heated, it’s always the same routine. “Drop and give me twenty.”
The truth is, that exact phrase isn’t actually used much in the military. Not because push-ups aren’t a thing in the military — they are — but NCOs tend to have more unique and clever punishments in mind — especially if you’ve really pissed them off.
Here are a few examples of “character development” that have been used on us:
#1. Flip the rocks ‘so they can get a sun tan.’
The pain of one Joe who messed up royally can sting far after they ETS.
In front of some company, battalion, or brigade headquarters are a bunch of rocks. Each is painted with a color on one side, and another color on the other. Whoever gets the unfortunate task of painting the rocks gives future disobedient soldiers a lighter punishment: to flip the rocks from one color to the other. The next guy who acts up flips ’em back.
Sound boring and tedious? That’s because it is.
#2. Mop the rain off the motorpool.
The idea behind creative corrective actions is to be give them a nearly impossible task to emphasize how badly they screwed up with a dash of hilarity to maximize the point.
Both can be achieved by making their dumb ass mop up the rain or sweep the grass.
#3. Carry around an oversized version of what they lost.
Whenever you see some poor schmuck toting a giant pice of cardboard drawn to look like a CAC, you know they left their ID card one day.
Why stop there?
If they lose their weapon, make them carry a stupidly large cardboard “rifle” that they must refer to as their “wife-le”. They lost track of time? Give them one of Flava Flav’s old clocks. The sky is the limit!
#4. Carry around a potted plant ‘to replace the oxygen they’re wasting.’
Do you have one of those “just can’t get anything right” soldiers? Are they a waste of space and oxygen?
Make them replace all of that beautiful oxygen they’re hogging with their very own plant to put something back in the air.
#5. Making the troop on a ‘dead-man’s profile’ blink in cadence.
There’s always that one cocky junior guy that is quick to pull out the “Nuh-uh Sergent! You can’t make me do sh*t!”
Get ’em. Anything done a thousand times in cadence can become a living hell.
#6. Fill sandbags with nothing but a white towel that you expect to come back clean.
This one always catches the smart asses if you leave them unsupervised. Take the typical deployment punishment to the next level by giving them only a white towel to clean off the sandbags when they finish. The bags must stay at one point and the dirt is a yard or so away.
A good Joe will fill the sandbags by hand and save the towel for the end and leave just trace amount of dirt on them. The smart ass will get lazy and use the towel to carry more sand into the bag and try to finish earlier. If they towel is dirty or if the task is done too soon. You caught them.
#7. Cutting Sgt. Major’s grass with sewing-kit scissors.
An oldie, but a goodie.
There’s a perfectly good sidewalk to use. There’s no need to step on the Sgt. Major’s grass. Give them the most useless tool at AAFES to do the most tedious task for the most amount of time.
The grass will grow back to what it was by the time they finish the field.
#8. Greeting of the day is repeating whatever they screwed up on to everyone.
Make them the example to remind others not to follow.
“Good morning, Sergeant. Be sure not to leave your helmet at the range!” over and over again should hopefully embarrass them enough to never do that again.
Extra points if it’s for a dirty barracks room and you have them use their dirty socks as sock puppets. “Good afternoon, specialist… Be sure to clean your barracks room…”
#9. Take away their birthday.
“What are they going to do? Bend my dog tags? Take my birthday away? chuckle chuckle”
Yep — apparently a Navy Captain did just that once by deliberately sailing parallel to the International Dateline then slipping across it right at midnight.
Tomorrow suddenly becomes yesterday and no birthday for you this year ya chuckle head.
7 more phrases old school veterans can't stop saying — and we love it
We love our old-school veterans that don't have a problem speaking their minds. They have some humorous sayings that we still use to this day.
This Army nurse's epic fight for a memorial for women Vietnam veterans
Some 11,000 women served in Vietnam, many as nurses and many under hostile fire. They had to fight to have their memorial built on the National Mall.
5 tips to prepare potential boots to join the military
No matter which branch you're thinking of joining, these mental and physical tips will help you be ready for when you're staring at a smoky bear hat.
6 reasons the Air Force wants to get its hands on Russian DNA
Ankle bone connected to the shin bone, shin bone connected to the knee bone, knee bone connected to a Russian, Air Force wants to get his genome.
US Navy searches for 3 missing sailors after plane crashes en route to USS Ronald Reagan
The US Navy is conducting a search for the 3 missing sailors after a plane carrying 11 passengers crashed into the sea southeast of Okinawa.
If you don't know about Sword & Plough, you are wrong
The Holidays, like a hyped-up drill sergeant, are upon you. Don't you wish you had a 12-day guide to the best vet-made gifts around? Ho! Ho! Hoo-rah!
Why the 'Butcher of Bosnia' faces a life sentence for war crimes
Ratko Mladic, a former Serbian general, will receive a verdict from the International Criminal Tribunal for war crimes he committed, to include genocide.
Russia swears a cloud of radioactive pollution is not a nuclear accident
A radioactive cloud is moving over parts of Europe, seemingly coming from Russia, reminiscent of the Chernobyl nuclear-power-plant disaster in 1986.
Taliban drug labs targeted by B-52 strikes overnight
American aircraft have targeted drug producing facilities in Afghanistan for the first time under a new strategy aimed at cutting off Taliban funding.