4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history - We Are The Mighty
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4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

Hollywood depicts the CIA as planning and executing insane assassination schemes of foreign leaders — everything from poisoning a doctor’s stethoscope in “Spy Game” to weaponizing human robots in the Bourne series.


But it turns out that those plotlines aren’t as crazy as you might think since the Agency has tried to poison toothpaste and SCUBA gear. Here are four of its crazier plots:

1. Fidel Castro’s SCUBA dive to hell

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Had no idea this guy was a big diver. (Photo: Alberto Korda, Public Domain)

Cuban President Fidel Castro survived countless plots on his life, including approximately 600 CIA plans. Two of the most outlandish involved Castro’s love of SCUBA diving. The first was for someone to pack a shell with explosives, paint it with bright colors, and then put it in Castro’s path like the world’s most festive IED.

A separate attempt called for an American working with Castro to loan him a wetsuit and breathing mask filled with flesh-eating fungus. The CIA made the suit, but it was never given to Castro. Reports differ on whether the wetsuit even made it out of the CIA lab.

2. Ambushing a couple during sex

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Rafael L. Trujillo, wearing the dark suit, stands with assembled dignitaries in 1951. He was killed during a sexual rendezvous. (Photo: El Caribe, Public Domain)

A group of rebels seeking to overthrow the dictatorship of Rafael Trujillo in the Dominican Republic got together with the CIA to request weapons to form a guerrilla group. The CIA was open to the idea, but the requests from the rebels made it clear that they were planning just an assassination, not a full overthrow.

When the CIA asked for the plan, the rebels mapped out how they would follow Trujillo to the house of his mistress and kill him there. The CIA sent few weapons — three revolvers and three carbines — but it’s not clear whether they were used in the 1961 assassination. Trujillo was killed on the road to his mistress, sparing her life.

3. Toxic toothpaste for a Congolese leader

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
He’s hiding his pearly whites to keep the CIA from getting any ideas. (Photo: Netherland National Archives)

Western governments, including the U.S., were dissatisfied with the first elected president of Congo, Patrice Lumumba, and worried that he would institute communism there. The CIA began plotting to poison his toothpaste or food.

The poison was supposed to cause symptoms and leave forensic evidence similar to that of tropical diseases that already existed in Congo. Luckily for America, local power struggles resulted in Lumumba’s arrest. He was killed by a firing squad after attempting to escape.

4. Repeated kidnapping attempts

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

CIA-backed rebels planning a military coup in Chile were frustrated by Chilean Gen. Rene Schneider, the Commander-in-Chief of the Chilean army. The rebels decided to kidnap him and made a failed attempt on Oct. 19, 1970. Another group — possibly backed by the CIA, but a 1975 Senate investigation wasn’t sure — attempted to kidnap Schneider on Oct. 20. It failed.

And so the CIA went back to the first group on Oct. 22 with a gift of machine guns and ammunition. The general was kidnapped by a third group of rebels — this one definitely not affiliated with the CIA — the same day.

Schneider later died of wounds sustained during the kidnapping.

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The 36 best World War II photos you’ve never seen

World War II was one of America’s defining moments, and there are dozens of well-known photos that still resonate with viewers. But the same pictures get used every time the war is discussed, overshadowing the hundreds of other worthy images. Here are 36 of the best World War II photos that you’re probably not familiar with.


You can vote on your favorite photos, helping them climb the list.

36 Rare Photos From World War II

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5 American generals buried in more than one place

Sure, most people end up in one nice, consolidated grave. But these five generals were not “most people”:


1. Gen. “Mad” Anthony Wayne’s skeleton and flesh were buried 400 miles apart.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

When Isaac Wayne arrived at the Army blockhouse in Erie, Pennsylvania, he expected to exhume his father’s bones and take them the 400 miles back to his hometown of Radnor, Pennsylvania for re-burial. His father was Gen. “Mad” Anthony Wayne, a Revolutionary War and Northwest Indian War hero.

When the remains were exhumed, the body was found to be in good condition despite 12 years having passed since Gen. Wayne’s death in 1796. Isaac’s cart was too small to move a complete body though, and so Isaac had the body dismembered and the flesh boiled off of it. Then, he took the bones the 400 miles back to Radnor. The boiled flesh and the tools used in the “operation” were reburied in Erie.

2. Lt. Gen. Richard S. Ewell was buried 640 miles from his leg.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo: Wikipedia

A Confederate leader in the Civil War, Lt. Gen. Richard S. Ewell was seriously injured at the Second Battle of Manassas. His leg was amputated and buried in a local garden. Ewell returned to combat after a one-year convalescence and was taken prisoner near the end of the war.

He returned to private life before dying of pneumonia in 1872. He was buried in Nashville, Tennessee, 640 miles from his leg.

3. Maj. Gen. Daniel E. Sickles’ leg is in the Smithsonian.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photos: Wikipedia and Wikipedia/Hlj

Maj. Gen. Daniel E. Sickles led his men to their doom at the Battle of Gettysburg when he ignored his orders and marched forward of his designated positions. Exposed, he and his men were brutally attacked and Sickles himself was wounded by a cannonball to the leg.

After his amputation, he decided against having his leg buried and instead sent it to the Army Medical Museum where Sickles visited it every year. It now resides at the Smithsonian Museum while Sickles rests in Arlington National Cemetery.

4. Lt. Gen. John Bell Hood’s leg was buried somewhere by an army private.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Lt. Gen. John Bell Hood lost his right leg after it was struck by a Minie ball during the Battle of Chickamagua in Georgia. His condition after the surgery was so bad that his physician, assuming he would die, ordered Pvt. Arthur H. Collier to take the leg to a nearby town where the general was being treated.

When Hood began to recover, Collier was ordered back to his unit and no one recorded what he did with the leg. Local folklore in Tunnel Hill, Georgia says the leg was buried there, near where Hood spent the first days of his recovery. The rest of Gen. Hood is buried in New Orleans, Louisiana.

5. Stonewall Jackson’s left arm has a famous grave.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photos: US Park Service and Wikimedia Commons

The grave of General Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson’s left arm is well known. Jackson was returning from a reconnaissance of Union positions in 1863 when his own soldiers mistook him for the enemy. Pickets fired on him and injured his left arm which was later amputated.

Stonewall’s chaplain buried the arm near Chancellorsville while Jackson was taken to Fairfield Plantation, Virginia. Jackson was expected to make a recovery, but he died of pneumonia eight days after his injury. He is buried in Lexington, Virginia, 44 miles from his arm.

NOW: 7 POWs who were total badasses after being taken captive

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5 Seldom-told tales about Air Force legends

We’ve all heard about those legendary astronauts and fighter pilots who did those things that live in the annals of history, but here are five lesser-known and seldom-told tales about noteworthy Air Force legends who served around the Wild Blue Yonder:


1. The Tuskegee airman who almost shot Muammar Qaddafi

 

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

Wheelus Air Force Base was located right outside the city of Tripoli in Libya. In 1968, a coup brought then 27-year-old Muammar al-Qaddafi to power. The young dictator demanded the closing of the American bases in what he now considered his country.

Before the base could be formally closed and handed to the Libyans, Qaddafi ordered a column of half-tracks to drive at full speed right through the middle of the base’s housing area. Qaddafi himself waited outside of Wheelus’ main gate for the armored column to return.

Unfortunately for Qaddafi, the commander of Wheelus Air Force Base was already legendary – he was Colonel Daniel “Chappie” James, Jr., one of the original Tuskegee Airmen. “Chappie” was a veteran of World War II and had also flown missions in Korea and Vietnam. And he was not happy with the Libyans. When he found out what was happening, James strapped his .45 onto his belt and went right to the base’s main gate. He immediately shut down the barrier and walked to face off with Qaddafi. The Tuskegee Airman was not impressed with the dictator.

“He had a fancy gun and holster and he kept his hand on it,” James recalled. He ordered Qaddafi to move his hand away from the weapon. The dictator complied with Colonel James. “If he had pulled that gun, he never would have cleared the holster.”

Qaddafi never sent another column.

2. The Original Airman Snuffy

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

By the time airmen leave Joint Base San Antonio, they have come to know the stories of Airman Snuffy; he’s the Every-Airman, the average Airman, sometimes the slacker Airman. Airman Snuffy is the example Air Force instructors use to describe a situation. “Let’s say you’re charge of quarters duty one night and Airman Snuffy reports a fire…” or “Airman Snuffy applies a tourniquet to the injured area. What else should he do?”

Airman Snuffy is not just an example… he’s a real person who did something legendary. During WWII, Sgt. Maynard “Snuffy” Smith was the 306th Bomber Group’s slacker in residence. Before joining the Army Air Corps, Smith was known as “spoiled,” living off an inheritance and was forced to join the Army by a judge as a sentence for failure to pay child support. No one wanted to fly with him. He didn’t like taking orders, especially from younger officers. He chose to be an aerial gunner because it was the fastest way to make rank and thus, pay.

His first mission took him over St. Nazaire, France – aka “Flak City.” On the way back from the mission, the pilot mistook what he thought was Southern England for the heavily fortified city of Brest, France. German fighters suddenly ripped his plane to shreds: the wing tank had been shot off and was pouring fuel into the plane. The fuel caught fire, and then everything else caught fire. The plane became a flying inferno. Soon, the fire on the plane started to burn so hot it set off ammunition and melted a  gun mount, camera, and radio. Airman Snuffy started to throw whatever wasn’t bolted down out of the plane, lest it melt or explode.

When the German fighters returned, he manned the B-17’s machine guns to repel them. Then he had to start putting out the fire. When the extinguisher ran out, he dumped the plane’s water and urine buckets on the fire. He even peed on the fire in the middle of repelling another German fighter attack. When all else failed, he wrapped himself in available clothing and started to put out the fire with his body.

Airman Snuffy administered aid to the six wounded men on the plane. So, he spent 90 minutes alternatively shooting down German fighters, putting out fires, throwing hazardous material out of the plane, and giving first aid to his wingmen. The plane made it back to England and landed with 3,500 bullet and shrapnel holes in the fuselage and nothing but the four main beams holding it together. Ten minutes after landing, the whole thing collapsed. For his actions on board the plane, Airman Snuffy was awarded the Medal of Honor, the first enlisted Airman to receive the award.

When Secretary of War Henry Stimson arrived to give Airman Snuffy the Medal of Honor, he was noticeably absent from his own ceremony, having been put on KP duty for disciplinary reasons.

3. The Combat Cameraman Who Lived the Entire History of the US Air Force

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

Douglas W. Morrell was a US Army Air Corps (and later US Air Force) combat cameraman with a long service record. In World War II, he was assigned to bombers in Europe and North Africa. He flew 33 combat missions over German, Austria, Italy, Hungary, France, Yugoslavia, and Albania. In March 1944, his B-24 was shot down over the Iron Gates of Romania. Evading capture in Romania (an Axis country from the beginning of the war), he walked for 25 days across occupied Yugoslavia and Albania where he bribed fishermen his .45-caliber pistol and $100 in gold certificates for a lift to Italy across the Adriatic Sea.

Two months later, he was documenting bombing raids against the oil fields of Ploesti when his bomber was knocked out of formation. He bailed out right before it exploded, killing half the remaining crew. He was immediately captured by the Germans upon landing and was held as a POW in Bucharest. Morrell made an escape attempt from his POW camp via a trap door in the mess hall.

He walked halfway through Bucharest before a German army truck stopped him. Morrell told the Germans he was Italian pilot, trying to make it back to Bulgaria. He caught a ride with the Germans until he reached a post near the Danube, where he was outed by an Italian kid who spoke to Morrell in Italian.

“I couldn’t understand him, ” Morrell recalls. “He told the Germans I wasn’t Italian and they took me back.”

Morrell was held in the POW camp until Romania capitulated in August of 1944. He stayed in Bucharest for a few days until the Russians, who treated the American POWs as allies, liberated it.

“They found out I was an ‘Americanski’… they got me in there, said ‘we drink!’ and poured glasses of vodka. They’d toast: ‘ Stalin. Roosevelt. Churchill,'” he remembered. “I’ve never been that blasted in all my life.”

He left the US Air Force in 1947. This was not the end of his combat career, however. Morrell was soon right back in, re-enlisting in 1952. He saw service in the Sahara documenting missile tests, the Pacific islands documenting nuclear tests, Iceland documenting Russian movements, and even the Panama Canal Zone.

By the time the Vietnam War started to heat up for the US, Douglas Morrell had become Chief Master Sergeant Morrell. At age 50, he was documenting operations over the Ho Chi Minh Trail in Laos, when his O-2 Skymaster’s wing was shot halfway off by anti-aircraft fire. He and the pilot bailed out at 5,000 feet, taking fire the entire way down. He landed in the jungle, just yards from a truck depot on the Ho Chi Minh Trail itself, guarded by six anti-aircraft gun positions. For nine hours, he called in rescue teams and directed fire on the enemy positions, before finally allowing himself to be rescued.

4. The Racecar Driver Who Taught Himself to Fly, Then Broke all the Records

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

Teaching yourself to fly seems like a terrible idea, especially during World War I when most pilots were college-educated and you’re an enlisted aircraft mechanic. Not so for Eddie Rickenbacker, the racecar driver-turned Airman who learned to be an engineer through a correspondence course.

Rickenbacker enlisted immediately after the US entered The Great War and arrived in France in June of 1917. By May of the next year, he had taught himself to fly, earned an officer’s promotion, and had shot down his fifth enemy craft, earning the title of “Ace.”

By September 1918, Rickenbacker was in command of his entire squadron, the 94th Aero Squadron. By the time of the Armistice on November 11, 1918, he had racked up 26 victories, a record he held until World War II, and had flown 300 combat hours, more than any other US pilot in the war. Captain Rickenbacker was known for flying right at formations of enemy aircraft, no matter how outnumbered he was, and winning every time. Through the course of the War, Rickenbacker was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross with six oak leaf clusters, the Croix de Guerre with two palms, the Legion d’Honneur, and was later awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor.

After the Great War, Rickenbacker went on to found his own car company, his own airline, and wrote a popular comic strip – which became a film and radio program.

5. Charlie Brown and Franz Stigler, Enemies Who Became Friends

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

In 1943, Second Lieutenant Charlie Brown was piloting his B-17 Flying Fortress, Ye Olde Pub, back to England after bombing industrial centers in Bremen. During its run, the nose was torn apart by flak fire, causing the plane to drop out of formation and come under attack from fifteen enemy fighter planes. The plane lost sixty percent of its electric capacity, lost its oxygen, and half its rudder. Of the ten crewmen on board, the tail gunner had been killed, the rest wounded. Brown himself was hit in his right shoulder. He then passed out from oxygen deprivation and woke up to find the bomber in a 4,000-foot dive.  He pulled the plane up and headed home, having been left for dead by the pursuit fighters.

On the way back to England, Germans on the ground spotted the bomber. The Luftwaffe dispatched ace fighter pilot Oberleutnant Franz Stigler to finish it off. He had already shot down two B-17s that day and needed one more kill to earn the Knight’s Cross – the highest Iron Cross award for bravery and leadership. Stigler easily caught up to the Allied plane in his Messerschmitt 109, but wondered why the Flying Fortress hadn’t started shooting at him. From his cockpit, he could see how badly damaged the plane was, how the crew struggled to care for the wounded, and even Brown’s face as he struggled to bring Ye Olde Pub and its crew back home alive with one good engine. He’d never seen a plane so badly damaged and still flying.

“You are fighter pilots first, last, always,” A commander had told Stigler’s unit when he was stationed in North Africa. “If I ever hear of any of you shooting at someone in a parachute, I’ll shoot you myself.” He looked to the man struggling at the bomber controls. Brown looked back. To Stigler, these men were like men in parachutes. Even though getting caught letting the bomber go would mean execution, he just couldn’t shoot them down.

Stigler moved to fly in a formation on Brown’s left, a formation German ground spotters would recognize as friendly. He escorted Brown’s bomber halfway over the North Sea and departed with a salute.

After the war, Stigler moved to Canada. Brown returned to the US. Over forty years later, Stigler responded to an ad Brown placed as he searched newsletters of former Luftwaffe pilots for the German ace who spared his crew. One day, Stigler responded:

“Dear Charles, All these years I wondered what happened to the B-17; did she make it or not?”

The two became close friends after meeting (on the ground) in 1990. The story of Stigler and Brown is told in detail in the 2012 book A Higher Call: An Incredible True Story of Combat and Chivalry in the War-Torn Skies of World War II.

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13 funniest military memes for the week of June 9

It’s a tradition as old as time. From the days of Sun Tzu and George Patton, military leaders have taken a break every Friday to share dank memes.


These are those memes:

1. Can confirm this is the test, can give no guidance on how to complete it (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
D-mned devil ball.

2. No one is out there to bother you, lots of fresh air (via Military Memes).

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Also, bring lots of water. You’ll be out there a while.

3. This is a whole new level (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Can not figure out what this does. Like, at all.

Also see: This incredible rap song perfectly captures life in Marine Corps infantry

4. Why is the sky blue? God loves the infantry (via Military Memes).

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
But he only pours his liquid crayons on the tankers.

5. Better limber up those arms. This is about to get rough (via The Salty Soldier).

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

6. Slowly, the military melts more and more of the happiness off your bones (via Air Force amn/nco/snco).

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
And, apparently, gives you two more legs.

7. “Just send iiiiit!”

(via Keep Calm and Call for Artillery)

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
All good fire missions are initiated while slightly inebriated.

8. Deliveries of donuts are pretty great at raising morale (via Coast Guard Memes).

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Of course, doing them too often also lowers the boat in the waterline.

9. If the students weren’t so worthless, we wouldn’t have these issues (via Decelerate Your Life).

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

10. It’s been a while since I had a class that wasn’t about sexual harassment or suicide prevention (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

11. Oh, if only we were all in Alpha Company …

(via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting)

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
… instead of in Charlie where dudes KEEP LOSING SENSITIVE ITEMS!

12. You ever seen an insurgent go steel-on-steel with their first round?

(via The Salty Soldier)

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Nobody has, so stop running.

13. Oh, you made points or something?

(Via Decelerate Your Life)

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Cool story, bro. Tell it again but, like, over there.

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7 things that need to be in your veteran starter kit

You just got your DD-214! Congrats, you made out alive. You’re officially a veteran.


Now that you’re not under any specific grooming standards or have to wear the same thing every day — how will your fellow veterans know who you are?

You’re in luck. We created a checklist of everything you’ll need to start your new life as a post-service veteran.

Write this down:

1. Oakley sunglasses

Any sunglasses will do, but since this line of eyewear looks freaking tactical — you’ll continue to wear them just to prove you know how to operate.

 

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

Oakley, when you want people to know you used to be tactical AF — without telling them. (Source: Defense Review)

2. A “heroes bracelet” designed for veterans

What better way to remember your fallen brothers than this black or silver engraved piece of gear. They’re durable, inexpensive, and meaningful. Be ready to drop kick any civilian that tries to make fun of you for wearing a bracelet.

 

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

3. An assault pack

You know that awesome camouflage pack you didn’t get to keep when you did your final check out?

Well, guess what? You can buy it online or from the base PX (bring that new green ID) and use it to carry all your school books when you start using your G.I. Bill.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Rip Its not included.

 

4. A veteran separation beard

Guess what? You don’t have to shave every day if you don’t want to — not anymore. So toss away that single blade razor until you f*ckin’ feel like using it. You’re a free man now.

5. A shirt from a veteran owned business

Now that you’re a veteran, it’s time to dress the part. Wearing a kick ass design from Grunt Style, Ranger Up, or Article 15 Clothing will ensure that everyone knows you’re in the club.

 

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
www.gruntstyle.com

6. A ball cap with the American flag on it

Nothing says “I love America” like a tan ball cap with a curled brim.

The curled brim doubles as a great place to rest those Oakley sunglasses when the sun goes down and you don’t feel like holding them in your hands or clipping them to your shirt.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
(Source: Rally point)

7. You still buy 550 cord — because it’s freakin’ great!

You never heard of this outstanding cord before serving — but now that you know about it, you can’t stop tying everything with it.

Just when you think the whole world has let you down, 550 cord won’t.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

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10 military spouses who made a difference

Beside most members of the military is a spouse who keeps life going while a husband or wife serves.

While every military family serves their country with pride, some military spouses go above and beyond to help their communities.

Meet 10 inspiring military spouses are making a difference:


Taya Kyle

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
(U.S. Army National Guard photo by Maj. Scott Hawks)

Taya Kyle, the widow of Navy SEAL and most lethal sniper in US history Chris Kyle, has been an advocate since her husband was killed in 2013.

In 2014, she started the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation with the goal of connecting military families and veterans, and providing interactive experiences to enrich family relationships.

Kyle and her husband’s story became the subject of the Academy Award-nominated film “American Sniper”.

Tiffany Smiley

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
(Scotty Smiley)

Tiffany Smiley’s husband, Army Major Scott Smiley, served in Iraq for six months until a car bomb in Mosul sent shrapnel into his eyes that would leave him blind for the rest of his life.

As an advocate for the power of military spouses, Tiffany speaks around the country to raise awareness about issues surrounding military members and their spouses.

In 2010, Tiffany and her husband published a book, “Hope Unseen,” based on their experiences as a military family. She has met with Ivanka Trump to push for legislation supporting military families and spoke at a bank-run event about how and why companies should recruit veterans.

Krystel Spell

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
(StreetShares)

As the wife of an enlisted member of the Army, Kyrstel Spell had always wanted to share her experiences as a military spouse with others. Now, she has become a popular voice in the military blogging world.

Spell launched three sites: Army Wife 101, to cover military lifestyle, travel, and parenting; Retail Salute, to gather military discounts in one place; and SoFluential, to connect influencers from military families with businesses looking to hire them.

Amanda Crowe

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
(U.S. Chamber of Commerce Foundation)

Amanda Patterson Crowe is a senior manager for the Hiring Our Heroes Military Spouse Programand a director of the Military Spouse Professional Network for Hiring Our Heroes, a program funded by the US Chamber of Commerce Foundation.

Crowe manages more than 40 chapters focused on career development and networking opportunities for military spouses in communities around the world. She also runs AMPLIFY, two-day career events for military spouses.

Stephanie Brown

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
(The Rosie Network)

Stephanie Brown is the wife of retired Navy Admiral R. Thomas L. Brown, who was a SEAL.

Brown, who has spent over 20 years supporting military families, veterans, and wounded warriors, started The Rosie Network when she was trying to find a contractor to repair her family’s home.

Brown wanted to hire a veteran, but was having trouble finding one on existing search sites, so she decided to create a database for the public to access businesses owned by military families. And The Rosie Network doesn’t charge the businesses a fee.

Leigh Searl

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
(NextGen MilSpouse)

In 15 years as a military spouse, Leigh Searl moved 11 times. Each time, she had to reinvent herself and find new jobs along the way.

So she created America’s Career Force, a program to help military spouses find long-term career opportunities that they can work remotely. That way, they can keep their jobs no matter where the location may be — as long as they have access to a phone and internet.

Sue Hoppin

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
(National Military Spouse Network)

Sue Hoppin is the military spouse of an Air Force officer and who has dedicated her career to advocating for military families.

She started the National Military Spouse Network after spending much of her life volunteering in the military community instead of establishing her own career. The site provides military spouses with networking opportunities.

Hoppin’s work has led her to become a consultant on military family issues, and she even authored a “for Dummies” book on “A Family’s Guide to the Military.”

Amy Crispino

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
(StreetShares)

Amy Crispino, a member of an Army family, is the co-owner of Chameleon Kids and managing director of Military Kids’ Life Magazine.

The magazine, which kids write half of the articles for, aims to help military children see past the challenges of growing up in a military family to focus on the bright side.

Elizabeth Boardman

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
(Milspo Project)

As the spouse of a Naval officer, Elizabeth Boardman believed that the best way to further her career was by starting her own business, the Milspo Project.

The organization provides networking resources for military spouse entrepreneurs to help them build their own businesses, and connect with other professionals.

Some of the resources includemonthly member meet-ups and online workshops.

Krista Wells

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
(Wells Consulting Services, LLC)

Marine Corps spouse Krista Wells has put her skills as a life consultant and career coach to work helping out other military families.

She launched Wells Consulting Services to specifically help military spouses who struggle with the challenges of constantly moving and establishing a career.

As a military spouse coach, Wells also created The Military Spouse Show podcast to help fellow spouses overcome the obstacles of being in a military family.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

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The US military took these incredible photos this week

The military has very talented photographers in its ranks, and they constantly attempt to capture what life as a service member is like during training and at war. This is the best of what they shot this week:


NAVY

SURABAYA, Indonesia (Aug. 5, 2015) U.S. Navy Sailors assigned to Coastal Riverine Squadron (CRS) 3 and Indonesian Kopaska naval special forces members practice patrol formations during Cooperation Afloat Readiness and Training (CARAT) Indonesia 2015.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo by: Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Joshua Scott/USN

ATLANTIC OCEAN (Aug. 4, 2015) Sailors prepare for flight operations on the flight deck of the amphibious assault ship USS Kearsarge (LHD 3).

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo by: Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Hunter S. Harwell/USN

Aviation Boatswain’s Mate (Equipment) 3rd Class I. J. Fleming helps stretch out the emergency crash barricade during drills on the flight deck aboard the aircraft carrier USS Harry S. Truman (CVN 75).

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo by: Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class E. T. Miller/USN

MARINE CORPS

Marines and Navy Corpsmen, assigned to various units in the 1st Marine Division, conduct tactical combat casualty care training during the Combat Trauma Management Course, taught by instructors with the 1st Marine Division Navy Education and Training Office, at the Strategic Operations facility, California.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo by: Staff Sgt. Bobbie A. Curtis/USMC

Fire Away!

An M1A1 Abrams Main Battle Tank crew with Company A, 4th Tank Battalion, fires its 120 mm main gun during the company’s pre-qualification tank gunnery at Range 500, Aug. 4, 2015. The live-fire exercise tests tank crews on their ability to work together on target acquisition and accuracy.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo by: Lance Cpl. Julio McGraw/USMC

COAST GUARD

Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael Martin, a maritime enforcement specialist at Coast Guard Port Security Unit 313 in Everett, Wash., along with other security division members, set up security zones on the pier alongside the Coast Guard Cutter Henry Blake, while conducting an exercise at Naval Station Everett.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo by: Petty Officer 1st Class Zac Crawford/USCG

Petty Officer 2nd Class David Burns, a Coast Guard Air Station Kodiak aviation survival technician, walks across the flight deck of the Coast Guard Cutter Alex Haley during practice hoist operations while at sea.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo by: Petty Officer 3rd Class Dale Arnould/USCG

AIR FORCE

A security forces Airman plunges into the combat water survival test at the U.S. Air Force Academy, Colo.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo by: Jason Gutierrez/USAF

Lt. Col. Todd Houchins, the 53rd Test Support Squadron commander, signals before the final takeoff of the last QF-4 Aerial Target on Tyndall Air Force Base, Fla.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo by: Tech. Sgt. Javier Cruz/USAF

Members of the 23rd Component Maintenance Squadron Propulsion Flight perform maintenance on a TF-34 engine July 27, 2015, at Moody Air Force Base, Ga. The 23rd CMS supplies the 74th and 75th Fighter Squadrons with TF-34s in support of Moody AFB’s A-10C Thunderbolt IIs.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo by: Airman Greg Nash/USAF

ARMY

paratroopers, assigned to 82nd Airborne Division, rig their rucksacks during a Basic Airborne Refresher course at the United States Army Advanced Airborne School, Fort Bragg, N.C.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo by: Maj. Craig Arnold/US Army

An Army pilot, assigned to the 185th Theater Aviation Brigade, watches a MV-22 Osprey land during a personnel recovery training exercise in Southwest Asia.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo by: Sgt. Michael Needham/The National Guard

NOW: More awesome military photos

OR: 4 support aircraft you didn’t know had killer combat variants

Lists

5 ways Morse code is better than text messaging

In 1999, the last official Morse code message was sent out from the Globe Wireless master station south of San Francisco. It was the end of an era for a form of communication that lasted well over 163 years. To put this into perspective, early forms of ARPANET email are about 47 years old and SMS text messaging has been around almost 26 years.


Today, only ten Airmen a year learn the craft of reading Morse code and it’s more of a history lesson than a practical one. You can still find the occasional radio enthusiast who picked it up as a party trick or a conversation starter. Once you learn the skill, however, you start realizing how many other Morse code nerds there are out there. Hell, even the original Nokia SMS notification chime was just “SMS” written in Morse code as (…/- -/…).

1. It’s an easy skill to learn that blows people away

You see it in the movies and on television all the time. In some tense action scene, someone blurts out, “oh my god! It’s Morse code!” Suddenly, everyone looks at the guy who figured it out like he’s a genius.

It’s really not rocket science. Once you realize that the letters are organized in a way that the most common letters in the alphabet, like ‘E’ and ‘T,’ have the least amount of dots and dashes (‘E’ is just one dot and ‘T’ is just one dash), it starts to make sense. Conversely, the rarer a letter, the more dots and dashes it requires. Numbers are five dots and dashes and punctuation marks are six. Standard guides are nice, but flowcharts like the one below make things so much easier.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
(Chart by Learn Morse Code)

2. Doesn’t always need electricity

Using an actual telegraph requires electricity. It was called the “electric telegraph” after all. But you can just as easily knock on things or even blink to get your message across.

A famous use of Morse code in military history was in the Vietnam War when Commander Jeremiah Denton was taken as a prisoner of war. He was forced into an NVA propaganda film and made to explain how “well” his captors were treating him. So, he said exactly what his captors wanted him to say while also blinking “torture” (-/- – -/.-./-/..-/.-./.). He got his message across while leaving the NVA completely unaware.

Also read: This Vietnam War POW used a propaganda film to blink ‘TORTURE’ in Morse Code

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8a5175-PXao

(Parker’s Video Portal | YouTube)

3. You can talk about people in front of them

On that note, because learning Morse code isn’t that common, you can also mock people in front of them if you take the time to learn it.

There’s no subtlety in pulling out your cell phone and telling someone that, “this is bullsh*t.”

[dailymotion //www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/x2pduoh expand=1]

4. ‘K’ actually means something

One of the most infuriating text messages you can receive after writing out paragraphs is just, ‘k.’

If you send out the message (.-.), or ‘k,’ in Morse code, you’re also saying in short-hand that you’re ready to receive the message from the other person.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Spend five minutes writing to someone and they don’t even have the time to write more than just one letter? A*sholes… (Meme via Know Your Meme)

5. There are no emojis.

I mean, technically, you can still make old-school emoticons, like “:)” as (- – -…/-.- -.-), but no one will get what you’re saying.

But as emojis get more elaborate, conversations start getting dumber. There isn’t any of that crap in Morse-code conversations.

Articles

The 11 most dangerous jobs in the US military

All jobs in the military carry real risks, but some jobs are much riskier than others. Here are 10 of the most dangerous:


1. Pararescue

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo: US Navy Petty Officer 2nd Class Scott Taylor

Pararescue jumpers are basically the world’s best ambulance service. They fly, climb, and march to battlefields, catastrophic weather areas and disaster zones to save wounded and isolated people during firefights or other emergencies.

2. Special operations

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo: US Navy Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Adam Henderson

While this is lumping a few separate jobs together, troops such as Navy SEALs, Army green berets, Air Force combat controllers and others conduct particularly risky missions. They train allied forces, hunt enemy leaders, and go on direct action missions against the worst of America’s adversaries. They get additional training and better equipment than other units, but the challenging nature of their mission results in a lot of casualties.

3. Explosive ordnance disposal

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo: US Navy Photographers Mate 1st Class Ted Banks

The bomb squad for the military, explosive ordnance disposal technicians used to spend the bulk of their time clearing minefields or dealing with dud munitions that didn’t go off. Those missions were dangerous enough, but the rise of improvised explosive devices changed all that and increased the risk for these service members.

4. Infantry

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Not exactly shocking that infantry is one of the most dangerous jobs on the battlefield. These troops search out and destroy the enemy and respond to calls for help when other units stumble into danger. They are the primary force called on to take and hold territory from enemy forces.

5. Cavalry

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo: US Army Sgt. William Tanner

The cavalry conducts reconnaissance and security missions and, if there is a shortage of infantry soldiers, is often called to take and hold territory against enemy formations. Their recon mission sometimes results in them fighting while vastly outnumbered.

6. Combat Engineers

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo: US Marine Corps Cpl. Bryan Nygaard

Combat engineers do dangerous construction work with the added hazard of combat operations going on all around them. When the infantry is bogged down in enemy obstacles, it’s highly-trained engineers known as Sappers who go forward and clear the way. The engineers also conduct a lot of the route clearance missions to find and destroy enemy IEDs and mines.

7. Artillery

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo: US Army

Artillery soldiers send massive rounds against enemy forces. Because artillery destroys enemy formations and demoralizes the survivors, it’s a target for enemy airstrikes and artillery barrages. Also, the artillery may be called on to assume infantry and cavalry missions that they’ve received little training on.

8. Medical

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo: US Army Sgt. Michael J. MacLeod

Medics go forward with friendly forces to render aid under fire. While medics are protected under the Geneva Convention, this only helps when the enemy honors the conventions. Even then, artillery barrages and bombing runs can’t tell which troops are noncombatants.

9. Vehicle transportation

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo: US Army

Truck driving is another job that became markedly more dangerous in the most recent wars. While driving vehicles in large supply convoys or moving forward with advancing troops was always risky, the rise of the IED threat multiplied the danger for these soldiers. This was complicated by how long it took the military to get up-armored vehicles to all units in Iraq and Afghanistan.

10. Aviation

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo: US Army Chief Warrant Officer 4 Daniel McClinton

Aircraft provide a lot of capabilites on the battlefield, but that makes them, their crews, and their pilots targets of enemy fire.

11. Artillery observers

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo: US Air Force Staff Sgt. DeNoris A. Mickle

Like medics, these soldiers go forward with maneuver forces. They find enemy positions and call down artillery strikes to destroy them. The enemy knows to take them out as quickly as possible since they are usually carrying radios.

Humor

7 phrases old school veterans can’t stop saying

Old school veterans are easy to spot; just look for the guy or gal wearing their retired military ball cap or that dope leather vest covered in customized patches.


If you ever get a chance to speak with one of them, we guarantee you’re in for a pretty good story.

Related: This legendary Navy skipper sank 19 enemy ships

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

With pride streaming from their pores and a sense of realism in their voice, most vets don’t hesitate to speak their mind — and we love them for it.

The next time to get the chance to hear their tales of triumph, count how many times they say a few these phrases:

1. “We had it harder.”

For some, levels of accomplishments of service is a d*ck measuring contest. Don’t be offended, but let’s face it, you probably should be.

2. “Keep your head and your ass wired together.”

If you have a mom or dad that’s a vet, you’ve probably heard this at one time or another when you’ve made an immature mistake. The human ass is considered the body’s anchor point; keep your head wired to it and you’ll have fewer chances of losing it.


3. “Back in my day…”

A lot has changed over the years; we have fast internet, text messaging, and first world problems now. Many older vets are don’t rely on the pleasures of technology to help them with their daily lives. They tend to stick with they know best for them.

You may hear this line when a former service member fumbles with his credit card while paying for an item at the checkout counter or just sitting with one as they recall a moment from the good ole’ days.

4. “It’s a free country. You’re welcome.”

Face it, they can be grumpy old men too.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Clint Eastwood plays Walt Kowalski, a disgruntled Korean War veteran in 2008s Gran Torino and plays him well. (Warner Brothers)

5. “I miss killing Nazis.”

Mostly spoken by WWI and WWII vets — let’s hope anyway.

6. “Baby-wipes? We only had sand paper.”

Being deployed these days, you can still have many of the comforts of home, including a music player, a laptop, and video games. We even receive care packages from home containing candy, snacks, and baby wipes.

Baby wipes are man’s second best friend when fighting in any clime and place. The soft sanitizing sheets can clean just about anything — or at least feel and look clean.

Back in the day, grunts packed a few extra smokes and a photo of their hometown girlfriend, Barbara Jean, and then had to wipe their butts with what came folded and cramped in their MREs, which was a piece of coarse, square paper.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Standard issue toilet paper. One size wipes almost all.

Although wet naps debuted in the late 1950s, it wasn’t until 2005 when wet/baby wipes came on the market as the more bum friendly product we know today.

7. “If it ain’t raining, we ain’t training.”

Probably the most common phrase in a vet era. This phrase is usually spoken in a sarcastic tone to inform others how much of a p**** they are if they want to quit an outdoors activity when the rain starts coming down.

A little rain never hurt anybody.

Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Articles

23 terms only Marines will understand

Marines speak a slightly-different language than the rest of the United States.


While everyone in the Corps speaks and uses English most of the time, there’s another layer of terminology added on top which is uniquely Marine. If you are around Marines long enough, you’ll hear someone being called a “boot” or dozens of them screaming out “yut.”

This is what it all means.

“Rah.” or “Rah!” or “Rah?”

Short for “Oohrah,” a Marine greeting or expression of enthusiasm similar to the Army’s “Hooah” or the Navy’s “Hooyah.” Rah, however, is a bit more versatile. You could be agreeing with someone, by saying “rah.” You could be excited about going on a mission by exclaiming, “Rah!” Or you could be asking the platoon if everyone understands, “rah?”

It’s like the Marine version of the mobster’s “fuggaddaboutit.”

“Errrr.”

This is an even more shortened-down version of “rah.” But it’s most often used as a lazy-man’s version of agreement. Your platoon sergeant may ask if everyone understands the plan of the day, to which everyone will respond with “Errrr.” Translation: Yeah Gunny, we got it.

“Yut.”

Arguably used more often than “Oohrah” by junior Marines to express enthusiasm. Instead of “oohrah,” Marines will often just say “yut” when in the presence of motivational speeches and/or talk of blowing things up.

Semper Gumby

A play on the Marine Corps motto of “Semper Fidelis (Latin for “Always Faithful”), Semper Gumby for Marines means “Always Flexible.” This phrase is often used when you are told to do one thing, then told a different thing, then told to just stand by, then told to go back to doing the original thing. “Semper Gumby, bro.”

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

Boot

A pejorative term for a new Marine fresh out of boot camp. The term’s origin apparently comes from Vietnam, as an acronym meaning “beginning of one’s tour.” New Marines joining a unit are usually referred to as “boots” until they go on a deployment or have at least a year or two in the Corps. Especially among post-9/11 era infantry Marines however, you are pretty much a “boot” until you’ve been to combat.

Fire watch

This is what Marines call guard duty. While sentries may well have been looking for fires in the past, Marines pulling fire watch nowadays can be walking around a barracks aimlessly or standing their shift behind the machine-gun in Afghanistan.

Since this is one of the most important duties of recruits at boot camp, senior Marines will often say boots only have the “fire watch ribbon,” a pejorative for the National Defense Service Medal that everyone gets.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

“SITFU”

Acronym often used in response to someone complaining. “Hey dude, SITFU.” That means suck it the f— up. You can also just ask if they have a straw. Most Marines will understand the reference.

“Improvise, adapt, and overcome.”

An unofficial motto of Marines that means exactly what you think it means. As the smaller service — and with much less funding than the Army — Marines have an attitude of doing more with less. “Improvise, adapt, and overcome” sums it all up.

Grand Old Man of the Marine Corps

The nickname for the fifth Commandant of the Marine Corps, Archibald Henderson, who served in the Marine Corps for 54 years. But most of the time when this phrase is used, it’s in referring to the oldest guy in the unit. Common usage: “Hey grand old man, what was it like serving with Jesus?”

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

“Kill!”

Sure, it can literally mean kill. But in Marine-speak, kill can mean “yes, I understand,” “hell yeah,” or “let’s do this.” Marines will even say “kill” as a half-joking version of hello. Using this one outside of the Corps can get plenty of strange looks, so don’t try this one on your local college campus.

BAMCIS

Acronym for the Marine Corps’ six troop-leading steps. It stands for begin the planning, arrange reconnaissance, make reconnaissance, complete the planning, issue the order, and supervise. But most Marines just say “BAMCIS” when they successfully complete a task. It’s like when Chef Emeril says “Bam!” Just add a “cis.”

Skating

The term Marines use for slacking off. Soldiers call this behavior “shamming,” but Marines can “skate” out of boring tasks by avoiding them somehow, usually by getting a dental appointment. And of course, S-K-A-T-E is even an acronym: S: Stay out of trouble / K: Keep a low profile / A: Avoid higher-ups / T: Take your time / E: Enjoy yourself.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

Direct reflection of leadership

This is often used sarcastically to rib a non-commissioned officer when one of his or her Marines gets in trouble. “So, two guys from your squad got caught drinking in Tijuana then got arrested at the border. Direct reflection of leadership, right corporal?”

Motarded

What some Marines will call an extremely gung-ho coworker. It’s not a compliment.

Ninja Punch

Non-judicial punishment — also known as the Article 15 — is what Marines can face if they break the rules, but a commander doesn’t feel it’s bad enough to warrant a court martial. While the military justice system is the same across branches, the Marines are the only ones who refer to it as an NJP. If you walk out of your commanding officer’s door going down a rank or losing some pay, you probably got “ninja punched.”

Pvt. or Lance Cpl. Schmuckatelli

The John Doe of the Marine Corps. He’s the screw-up and the guy always getting in trouble. The Marine who is lost all the time. The anonymous service-member who stands as the example of what not to do. This term will usually be brought up by a senior leader, like: “Hey gents, you are all doing good things. Be safe out there this weekend, but don’t let me get a phone call about Pvt. Schmuckatelli getting all drunk out at the club and getting into trouble, good to go?”

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

Semper I

Another play on “Semper Fidelis,” which often gets shortened to “Semper Fi.” While the motto means “Always Faithful” and brings up teamwork and esprit de corps, “Semper I” is used when a Marine goes off and does their own thing without thinking of others. Sometimes used as “Semper I, f— the other guy.”

Terminal Lance

Lance Corporal, or E-3, is a Marine rank that comes with more responsibility than a private or private first class, but is not a non-commissioned officer. In order for Marines to pick up the next rank of corporal, they need to have a high-enough “cutting score” to be promoted. If they get out after their four-year enlistment at Lance Corporal, they are a “Terminal Lance,” which can be bad or a point of pride, depending on who you talk to. “Terminal Lance” is also a hugely-popular online comic strip started by Maximilian Uriarte.

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history

Let’s break it down, Barney-style.

Some Marines need some help in understanding how to complete a task. When this happens, a leader may want to break it down into baby steps and explain it very slowly. You know, just like Barney.

BCG’s

These are what Marines call the glasses you get issued at boot camp, or “boot camp glasses.” Most know them by their nickname, which is “birth control glasses,” because well, you probably don’t want to hit the club wearing these things.

The Lance Corporal Underground

The source of most rumors that go around the Corps. Since lance corporals make up a large part of the Corps, the underground is often responsible for passing word of what’s going on, or completely made-up falsehoods.

“Good initiative, bad judgment.”

This phrase comes out when a Marine does something for a good reason, but things turn out awful. A great example would be when your platoon commander says he knows a shortcut through the woods, then he gets the platoon completely lost. “Good initiative, bad judgment, sir.” Next time, let’s stick to the planned route.

Field Day

Traditionally run on Thursday, the one night of the week Marines usually dread. No, it’s not the field day of play and sports like back in school. It’s the term used to describe the weekly ritual of cleaning rooms in the barracks. Field day cleaning involves moving furniture (often completely outside of the room), dusting top-to-bottom, vacuuming, scrubbing, and waxing floors.

“Basically Field day is just another tool used by Marine Corps leadership to piss off and demoralize Marines on a weekly basis,” reads the top definition in Urban Dictionary. If your first sergeant finds a speck of dust anywhere, you’re screwed.

What would you add to the list? Let us know in the comments.

Articles

11 weapons from pop culture we could totally use right now

DARPA does a great job of designing new and exciting weapons for the military. But here are 11 weapons from movies and video games that the U.S. fighting forces would like to see rolling out of a DARPA lab soon.


1. Iron Man’s shoulder-mounted guns

Iron Man’s shoulder-mounted guns each have six barrels filled with rounds that can curve in flight and are linked up to a targeting system that can differentiate between friend, foe, and civilian. Basically, every infantryman in urban combat could walk through a city slaying bad guys and accepting the praise of grateful survivors.

Of course, if the weapons were actually mounted on an Iron Man suit that would be even better.

2. Noisy cricket

Sure, it’s small and causes a lot of collateral damage. But, it packs a huge punch in a tiny fist. It could be used for two purposes. First, troops assigned to public positions like embassy guard could conceal the weapons on their body, allowing them to appear lightly armed while they secretly have direct fire artillery in their pockets. Second, it could be used as a breaching tool.

3. Lawgiver Pistol

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photos: Youtube

Capable of firing everything from normal rounds to grenades to nonlethal munitions, the Lawgiver pistol is part of why Dredd is such a badass. For soldiers in the field, this would provide a wide variety of force options in a very small package. Also, they have a very strong anti-theft mechanism.

In the cons column, it has to be hard to safely run ranges with weapons like this.

4. Sonic Shotgun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8deYjcgVgm8feature=youtu.bet=1m33s

One of the most effective nonlethal weapons on this list, the sonic shotgun can hurl bad guys a dozen feet back, charges quickly, and is apparently easy to aim from the hip.

5. Laser Rifles

Pick your brand (Star Wars, Halo, whatever), laser rifles would provide most of the capabilities of standard rifles, plus they would melt right through enemy armor. Just don’t give us the ones that Stormtroopers use. They are way too inaccurate.

6. Phaser

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo: flickr.com/Ryan Somma

It’s like a laser rifle, but you can choose “stun” and “disintegrate” as firing modes.

7. Cerebral Bore

The cerebral bore is not only a rifle with homing rounds, it also marks enemies in hiding and its rounds make their way through enemy flesh, seeking out the brain and exploding within it.

8. Mjolnir (but a gun)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ou4yoD-9wL8

Thor’s mighty hammer gives the ability to fly, which would be great. More importantly though, it can only be lifted by the worthy. That would mean that when friendly positions are overrun, weapons that are abandoned couldn’t be turned around and used against the original owners.

9. ZF-1

4 of the craziest assassination attempts in U.S. history
Photo: Youtube.com

Like the Lawgiver pistol, the ZF-1 allows its users to select between a wide range of munitions including missiles and nets. The ZF-1 is larger since it’s a rifle/flamethrower, but soldiers will likely find a way to carry the extra weight in exchange for gaining the ability to shoot flames and darts when necessary.

10. Lightsabers

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Not for the purpose you think. It’s unlikely troops could be properly trained to handle lightsabers well enough to fight with them and they definitely couldn’t deflect bullets with them. However, the sabers could be used by anti-tank teams to crack into enemy armor as well as by engineers to cut through absolutely any enemy defenses. The safety training Powerpoint for these would be hell though.

Runner up for these purposes: Wolverine’s claws. They’re even more portable than a lightsaber and would be nearly impossible to lose, but soldiers without genetic healing mutations would bleed just, all the time.

11. Plasmids

From the hit video game Bioshock, plasmids give the user the ability to fire flames from their hands, suck health from enemies, and even mind control enemies.

Of course, the weapon developers would need to solve the whole, “insanity” thing that goes along with most plasmids, but that’s probably do-able.

NOW: The 19 most game-changing weapons of the 21st century

OR: The top 5 weapons the US Navy needs right now

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