It’s Monday, you’re staring down another week of work and need some convincing that there’s reason to feel anything but dread. Enter: the work joke. Having an arsenal of funny but clean, work-appropriate jokes at your disposal can be handy for lightening the mood and boosting morale when the stress of work (and childcare, and the pandemic, and and…) sets in. Work jokes are even handier in the era of Zoom, where social awkwardness reigns and a corny joke can take the edge off. Even, and especially, in a pandemic, creating brief, good moments in your day can help everyone’s mood. Here are some of the best.
1. A conference call is the best way to get a dozen people to say bye 300 times.
2. To err is human. To blame it on someone else shows management potential.
3. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was out standing in his field!
4. All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.4.
5. Why do I drink coffee? It always me to do stupid things faster and with more energy.
6. You know what they say about a clean desk. It’s a sure sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
7. Why did she quit her job at the helium factory? She refused to be talked to in that voice.
8. What did the employee do when the boss said to have a good day? Went home.
9. What does a mathematician say when something goes wrong? Figures!
10. What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved.
11. The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.
12. I get plenty of exercise at work: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck and dodging deadlines.
13. Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.
14. Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you! You have my word!
15. I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.
16. My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”
17. Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me 20 minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.
18. When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?” I said, “No, not particularly.”
19. Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? Fo drizzle.
20. Why are chemists great at solving problems? Because they have all of the solutions!
21. Why did the developer go broke? Because he used up all his cache.
22. Have you heard about the guy who stole the calendar? He got 12 months!
23. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything.
24. What does the world’s top dentist get? A little plaque.
25. How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
26. Why did the taxi driver get fired? Passengers didn’t like it when she went the extra mile.