The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th - We Are The Mighty
MIGHTY MEMES

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

It’s not that I have anything against the good-natured jokes of April Fool’s Day, it’s just that I don’t believe anything for an entire day. Sure, you have your ridiculous ads from companies, like the McPickle burger from McDonald’s, but then there’s the ones that sound plausible until you stop and think about it for more than a second.

Tom Brady saying he’s going to retire? The dude still has four more fingers to go. Lockheed Martin saying they now have the technology to smell Space? That’s not how Space works. The Army announces that it’ll take the well-being of the troops into consideration and allow them to wear protective masks, under AR 670-1, in areas of with hazardous air quality? Good one.


At least there was a solid selection of memes to choose from this week! Enjoy!

(In all seriousness, the protective mask one is real — and it’s about freakin’ time.)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

(Meme via Coast Guard Memes)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

(Meme via Broken and Unreadable)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

(Meme via I Am An American Soldier)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

(Meme via Valhalla Wear)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

(Meme via Sh*t My LPO Says)

It took me longer than I’m willing to admit to get that the left side was port and right was starboard.

And the only way I still remember it is because ‘left’ has four letters, and so does ‘port.’ Don’t judge me.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

(Meme via 1st Civ Division)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

(Meme via Private News Network)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

(Screengrab via The Salty Soldier, Credit to Reddit user u/patientbearr)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

(Meme via Air Force amn/nco/snco)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

(Meme by Ranger Up)

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

(Meme via US Army WTF Moments)

MIGHTY TRENDING

Almost every NFL player stood for the national anthem on Veterans Day

The NFL take-a-knee protests dropped off dramatically Sunday, with all but a handful of players standing for the national anthem as teams pulled out the stops to honor the military for Veterans Day.


As of Sunday afternoon, only three players — the San Francisco 49ers’ Eric Reid and Marquise Goodwin and the New York Giants’ Olivier Vernon — had refused to stand for “The Star-Spangled Banner.” That was down from 15 players the week before, according to the ESPN tally.

The three represented the lowest number of kneelers since Week One of the NFL season, when three players sat or took a knee during the national anthem.

Seattle Seahawks defensive end Michael Bennett, who has refused to stand all season in a protest against racial and social injustice, told reporters that he made an exception for Veterans Day.

“It was to signify that we are all with the military and that we love them,” Bennett told the Tacoma [Washington] News Tribune after Thursday’s game. “There’s been this narrative that we don’t care about the military. Today we were honoring the military.”

The pro-military celebrations came amid calls to boycott the NFL for Veterans Day over the take-a-knee protests.

In a joint statement, the NFL and NFLPA said Saturday that there was “no change” in its national-anthem policy, which says players “should” stand but does not require them to do so.

Still, there was plenty of patriotic feeling at the Week 10 games, which were marked by ceremonies to commemorate the military as part of the NFL’s Salute to Service month.

At least two teams, the Jacksonville Jaguars and Washington Redskins, invited hundreds of new military recruits to take their oath of enlistment on the field.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th
Service members, firemen and police officers participate in a ceremony commemorating the 10th anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks before a Jacksonville Jaguars NFL game. More than 300 Sailors from Naval Air Station Jacksonville, Naval Station Mayport and Naval Submarine Base Kings Bay participated in a pre-game and halftime performance. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Gary Granger Jr./Released)

Players were joined by military personnel as they ran out of their tunnels before the games; coaches and cheerleaders wore camouflage gear, and camouflage Salute to Service ribbons decorated items including footballs, helmets, pylons and goal-post wraps.

Players wore helmet decals honoring military branches. Each player on the Atlanta Falcons wore a helmet decal with the initials of a fallen hero.

Some celebrations were more spontaneous. After a touchdown, Detroit Lions wide receiver Golden Tate gave a four-way salute from the end zone to the fans.

The NFL said it would donate $5 to its military non-profit partners, including the Pat Tillman Foundation, the USO, Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, and the Wounded Warrior Project, for every #SalutetoService tweet.

“Honoring the military is part of the fabric of the NFL,” said the league in a statement. “This support takes place both at home and abroad, with NFL players and coaches traveling overseas to salute the troops, as well as with team recognition of our servicemen and women through the NFL’s Salute to Service.”

Also Read: This NFL star trying to eat an MRE will crack you up

Since 2011, the NFL said it has raised more than $17 million for charity through its Salute to Service program.

The ESPN count on those kneeling came before the Sunday night game between the New England Patriots and Denver Broncos, all of whose players have stood for the anthem in recent weeks.

The Monday night game could bring up the total: Playing the Carolina Panthers are the Miami Dolphins, whose team includes three players who have frequently taken a knee during the anthem.

MIGHTY TRENDING

The Pentagon is unsure what will happen to these ‘dreamer’ troops

Less than 900 Deferred Action for Childhood Arrival recipients are serving in the military, and the Pentagon has no idea what will happen to them.


President Donald Trump officially declared an end Sept. 5 to the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrival program initiated by the Obama administration to allow illegals to remain and work in the country without fear of deportation, but what that rollback means for the military is still up in the air. The program’s protections will begin being phased out in six months, but DACA recipients whose permits expire before March 2018 can renew for another two-year period.

For now, the Pentagon is working closely with the Department of Homeland Security to find out what this policy change will mean for DACA recipients currently in the military. Out of 800,000 DACA recipients, the Pentagon said that less than 900 are currently serving in the military.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th
Employees from various Department of Homeland Security agencies gather together. US Coast Guard photo by Petty Officer 2nd Class Patrick Kelley.

“There are less than 900 individuals currently serving in the military, or have signed contracts to serve, who are recipients of Deferred Action for Childhood Arrival authorization,” Pentagon spokesman Lt. Col. Paul Haverstick told The Daily Caller News Foundation in a statement. “These individuals are part of the Military Accessions Vital to the National Interest Pilot Program. The Department of Defense is coordinating with the Departments of Justice and Homeland Security regarding any impact a change in policy may have for DACA recipients. The Department defers to our colleagues at DHS on questions related to immigration, naturalization, or citizenship.”

Those with DACA status have been allowed to enlist in the military since 2014 through the MAVNI program.

A total of 10,400 immigrants who have made it through MAVNI have received US citizenship, but MAVNI has been put on hold as of last year.

In an op-ed for The Washington Post published Sept. 4, former Obama administration Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta said that if DACA ends, soldiers who are part of the program could be deported immediately. Panetta argued that GOP Sen. John McCain should allow the bipartisan Dream Act to be added to the annual defense bill, which would give illegal aliens a pathway to citizenship.

MIGHTY TRENDING

In an unprecedented year, the Army continues to help its own

Later this month, our nation will mark a full calendar year since the COVID-19 pandemic upended the lives of millions of our fellow citizens and people around the world. The U.S. Armed Forces, being a cross-section of America, have not been spared from the effects of the coronavirus. Across the military, COVID-19 has left a deep mark: PCS moves were delayed, school and childcare has been disrupted, promotion ceremonies and weddings have been put off – and, tragically, many lives have been lost.

In addition to the impact of the pandemic, the U.S. has also dealt with domestic unrest, social change, economic struggles not seen in generations, and the start of a new administration. To say that the last 52 weeks have been challenging and historic would be an understatement. However, March 2021 also marks another milestone, and a fresh opportunity to showcase the best of the ideals of selfless service and teamwork that is the foundation of America’s military: the launch of the Army’s Annual Campaign on behalf of Army Emergency Relief (AER).

AER 79th annual campaign

Most soldiers and their families are familiar with AER, the Army’s own financial assistance organization. Since 1942, AER has been 100% focused on helping soldiers and their families when they face financial challenges. Each year, we support over 40,000 Soldiers with nearly $70 million in grants, zero-interest loans, and educational grants for Army spouses and children. All told, that comes to more than $2 billion in support since our founding, with more than $1 billion of that since 9/11. Chances are, whether you are a single soldier or part of an Army family, you’ve either contacted AER for help yourself or personally know someone that has.

How can AER help? In 2019, we provided $9 million to more than 5,000 soldiers who were impacted by hurricanes, fires, floods, and other natural disasters. Last year, as the COVID-19 pandemic hit our nation hard, we established new relief programs to help Soldiers and their loved ones navigate childcare, remote education, PCS moves, and other critical financial needs caused by the pandemic, including expanded eligibility for U.S. Army Reserve & National Guard Soldiers. Overall, we have more than 30 categories of assistance; whether it’s personal vehicle repair, emergency travel, damage to your house from natural disasters, or funeral expenses caused by the loss of a loved one, we help soldiers deal with life’s unexpected costs. What’s more, all of our financial assistance is provided either as a grant or a zero-interest loan – unlike the payday lenders near Army installations that prey on soldiers, charging up to 36% interest (and sometimes higher) on short-term loans.

Even though our mission supports the global Army team, AER receives no funding from taxpayer dollars. Every dollar we provide to those in need is from donations by soldiers (active duty and retired), the American public, and industry partners. That’s where the Annual Campaign comes in— the main goal of the campaign is to raise awareness across the Army Team of AER’s benefits, while offering soldiers the opportunity to support their fellow brothers and sisters in arms by making a donation.

The many difficulties we’ve faced as a nation over the past year has re-emphasized the importance of supporting those who practice selfless sacrifice on behalf of others. That’s why the theme of this year’s Annual Campaign is “A Hand-Up for Soldiers”. Details on the campaign, which kicked off March 1 and runs through May 15, can be found at https://www.armyemergencyrelief.org/campaign. Donations can be made online, through an installation’s AER Officer, or your Unit Campaign Representative.

AER isn’t a giveaway program; it’s a hand-up for soldiers and Army families experiencing temporary financial need. We help soldiers get back on their feet and back in the fight; as the Chief of Staff of the Army, General James C. McConville says, “People First – Winning Matters”.  Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength! Let’s work together these next two months and make the 2021 Annual Campaign a success.


Retired Lt. Gen Raymond V. Mason is the Director of Army Emergency Relief. The Army’s Annual Campaign runs from March 1st through May 15th across all installations.

MIGHTY TRENDING

Watch a Chinese ship try to block US navigation

A Chinese warship threatened a US Navy destroyer during a tense showdown in the South China Sea in late September 2018, according to new details of the encounter.

A Chinese People’s Liberation Army Navy Type 052C Luyang II-class destroyer challenged the US Navy Arleigh Burke-class guided-missile destroyer USS Decatur during a routine freedom-of-navigation operation near the disputed Spratly Islands. The Chinese warship sailed within 45 yards of the American vessel, nearly colliding with the US destroyer.

The Chinese vessel “approached USS Decatur in an unsafe and unprofessional maneuver in the vicinity of Gaven Reef in the South China Sea,” where it engaged in “a series of increasingly aggressive maneuvers accompanied by warnings for Decatur to depart,” a spokesman for the US Pacific Fleet said in a statement. The Decatur was forced to change course to avoid a collision.


A transcript of the radio exchange between the two naval vessels obtained by the South China Morning Post from the British Ministry of Defense shows that the Chinese ship threatened the Decatur, warning that it would “suffer consequences” if it did not move.

“You are on [a] dangerous course,” the Chinese destroyer warned over the radio. “If you don’t change course, [you] will suffer consequences.”

“We are conducting innocent passage,” the Decatur reportedly replied.

In a video of the incident, an unidentified Navy sailor can be heard saying that the Chinese ship is “trying to push us out of the way.”

The video is a little unclear, but there appear to be ship fenders deployed off deck, Collin Koh, a research fellow at the S. Rajaratnam School of International Studies, noted on Twitter. He explained that “fenders are designed to mitigate the kinetic impact of a collision,” adding that the deployment is “clearly an indication of preparedness for such an eventuality.”

Ankit Panda, a foreign-policy expert who is a senior editor at The Diplomat, called the incident “the PLAN’s most direct and dangerous attempt to interfere with lawful US Navy navigation in the South China Sea to date.”

Unsafe or unprofessional encounters between the US Navy and the Chinese military are, however, not particularly uncommon. “We have found records of 19 unsafe and/or unprofessional interactions with China and Russia since 2016 (18 with China and one with Russia),” Cmdr. Nate Christensen, a spokesman for the US Pacific Fleet, recently told CNN.

A number of these incidents involved dangerous Chinese intercepts of US Navy aircraft. In August 2018, the Chinese military sent a total of six warnings to a US Navy P-8A Poseidon reconnaissance plane, warning it to “leave immediately and keep out.”

It is potentially noteworthy that the details of the showdown between the US and Chinese warships in the South China Sea came from the British Ministry of Defense, as a British naval vessel also found itself in a standoff with the Chinese military in the South China Sea not too long ago.

In early September 2018, China dispatched a frigate to to take on the UK Royal Navy amphibious assault ship HMS Albion when it sailed too close to Chinese outposts in the Paracel Islands. China called the incident a provocation and warned that it would “take all necessary measures to defend its sovereignty and security.”

The US Navy is apparently expecting incidents like this to occur more frequently going foward. The US and China “will meet each other more and more on the high seas,” Chief of US Naval Operations Adm. John Richardson said Oct. 30, 2018.

This article originally appeared on Business Insider. Follow @BusinessInsider on Twitter.

Featured

A top German doctor recommends whiskey to protect against COVID-19 (he’s joking…but still)

Updated: In keeping with Facebook’s efforts to report fake news, we have updated this article to include the doctor’s full statement.

While the World Health Organization vehemently disagrees, Dr. Juergen Rissland, a lead doctor at the Institute for Virology at Saarland University Hospital in Germany, went on the record to say: Drinking whiskey can protect against COVID-19.

And that is definitely one report we can all get behind.


While appearing on “The Morning Show,” Dr. Rissland was asked about whether or not drinking could kill any viruses a person may have ingested. “Yes, of course, that’s true,” Dr. Rissland responded. “And the higher the percentage of alcohol, the better it is. For example, if you are a whisky lover, then that certainly isn’t a bad idea,” he continued, while offering this bit of sage advice to pace yourself: “But of course you need to bear in mind that you can’t do that every 15 minutes, that is something else to consider.”

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5thVirologist Jurgen Rissland, who says alcohol can protect against COVID-19. Credit: Newsflash/Newsflash

After being prodded a little further by the show’s co-hosts who asked him if he was really suggesting folks drink high-proof alcohol, Dr. Rissland laughed. “I would like to say it can’t hurt, but in the end, it is definitely not a panacea. For God’s sake, you shouldn’t get me wrong here. I just wanted to make the point that the virus is vulnerable to high-proof alcohol, because it has an outer layer made of fat, and high proof alcohol destroys the virus. And one would need to drink quite a lot to get any sort of protection from infection.”

So we’ll take his advice with a good sense of humor… and probably a shot of whiskey.

Prost!

MIGHTY CULTURE

5 coffee brands to buy for when you’re stuck on duty

The two most welcomed smells in the military are coffee and gunpowder, and if you’re in the field, you may get both. There are few things that are as satisfying as your favorite cup of Joe when you’re on duty in garrison, training, or forward deployed. Nobody wants to be that guy who falls asleep on post — legal consequences aside, it’s just downright embarrassing.

Staying alert begins with preparation and tactical knowledge of the endless options vying for our patronage. The brands of coffee we enjoy say a lot about ourselves and what’s important to us. When we stand post, looking out into the abyss, reflecting on our lives and why we fight, a warm cup in our hands is a welcomed friend.


Black Rifle Coffee Company – It’s Who We Are: Edwin Parnell

www.youtube.com

Black Rifle Coffee Company

Black Rifle Coffee Company is a veteran owned and operated brand that brings a level of professionalism and attention to detail that can only be expected from veterans. While massive corporations will sacrifice quality for profit, this company’s quality assurance team will not. Not only do they make a mean brew, but they are also a positive reflection of veterans, successfully assimilating and thriving in the private sector.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

Me gusta.

(Cafe Bustelo)

Cafe Bustelo

Café Bustelo is like a Marine infantry sergeant: aggressive, strong, and possibly foreign. It has a balanced taste, but it will definitely give you the intense energy boost that one needs at zero-wtf. It’s small, lightweight, and you can toss it in with the gear. The officers and Staff NCOs aren’t going to deny free coffee, either.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

Enough coffee will allow you to smell colors, too.

(Folgers)

Folgers, classic roast

Folgers is the brand people love to rag on, but let’s be honest here: it’s pretty good. Their marketing is even better. There is a 100% chance that when you saw the name, you sang the jingle in your head. “The best part of wakin’ up is Folgers in your cup.

Folgers seals its product in airtight plastic containers, ensuring that when you need it, it’s still fresh. Plastic containers bring their own benefit to the field because they’re water resistant, which is particularly important when it’s raining sideways.

The crucial part of the equation, no matter which brand you select, is the water-to-grounds ratio. For every six fluid oz of water, add one tablespoon of coffee — two tablespoons for a strong cup, and three or more if you want to see sound.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

It’s okay to like sugary things, even if First Sergeant makes fun of you.

(Luke Air Force Base)

Starbucks

There’s a stigma against drinking Starbucks in the military because, in 2004, an email circulated around the internet stating that the company did not support the war or the troops. This rumor has been proven false, but the truth somehow doesn’t usually have the same reach of the rumor mill.

Bringing Starbucks to the office or field is a Bootenant move, albeit a delicious one. If you’re a staff NCO, you know your role as an advisor to the brass, guide him to more rugged-fix-bayonets coffee when your little booter is ready. Until then, enjoy the Caramel Frappuccinos and other embarrassingly named treats they’re willing to share.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

US Marine Corps Private First Class Faris M. Tuohy drinking a cup of coffee aboard a ship off Eniwetok after two days of fighting, Marshall Islands, Feb. 1944

(United States National Archives)

Good ol’ standardized, rust-bucket, gut-rot coffee from Uncle Sam

We live in a society where we can have whatever we want, whenever we want it. We’ve come a long way, but sometimes that rust-bucket coffee from the mess hall is exactly what the doctor ordered. There were times in Afghanistan when a hot cup of mud after a patrol would hit the spot. Warriors do more with less, they’re a hardened breed, and that’s why they never take life — or coffee — for granted.

Articles

Pentagon denies it tried to quash report on $125 billion in waste

The Defense Department on Tuesday denied it tried to quash a 2015 study that found it could save $125 billion in noncombat administrative programs but admitted it has so far only found a small fraction of those savings.


The department hopes to save $7.9 billion during the next five years through recommendations in the study of back-office waste, which itself cost about $9 million to complete, the Defense Departments acting deputy chief management officer told a House panel.

The study’s original findings as well as a perceived lack of action from the Defense Department riled members of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, which held the hearing on the fate of the report as President Donald Trumps administration plans a $54 billion boost in defense spending by cutting other federal programs such as foreign aid.

Read More: 85,551 things the Pentagon could have bought with that wasted $125 Billion

“I think the one thing I would take unequivocal issue with is that the report was in any way suppressed,” said David Tillotson III, who is acting as the Defense Department deputy chief management officer. “It was actively discussed within the department at the time and it has formed the basis of discussion since that time.”

The study found more than one million Defense Department employees perform noncombat related work, such as human resources, finances, health care management and property management, and $125 billion could be saved by making those operations more efficient. The study was conducted by the Defense Business Board, an advisory body to the Pentagon, and included work by two contracted groups.

The saved money could be enough to fund 50 additional Army brigades or 10 Navy carrier strike group deployments, the Defense Business Board found.

So far, most of the projected $7.9 billion in savings will come from information technology purchases and services contracts, according to Tillotson.

He said finding more savings might be difficult due to the Pentagons long-running resistance to efficiency and audit efforts, and that lawmakers could help with legislation such as a new round of base realignments and closures to help the department shed excess and costly real estate.

“There is an internal challenge, that is our job, we will go fight those battles and in some instances we are assisted by actions on The Hill,” he said.

The Washington Post reported in December that the Pentagon tried to shelve the findings because it feared Congress might use them to slash its budget.

At the time, the chairmen of the Senate and House armed services committees, Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., and Rep. Mac Thornberry, R-Texas, said the report of $125 billion in potential waste was not surprising and both had been working for years to trim back the growth in headquarters staff, civilian workers and contractors.

Lawmakers on Tuesday wanted to know why the department has not used the report to find more savings.

“Did we waste $8-9 million dollars of the taxpayers money on a report on identifying waste in the Pentagon and if we didnt waste it, what have been the savings that came out of this report,” said Rep. Jamie Raskin, D-Md.

MIGHTY TRENDING

Russia may now be meddling in America’s next election

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said that Russia is already meddling in America’s 2018 midterm elections, and that the U.S. is not necessarily better prepared to deal with the Moscow’s influence than it was in 2016.


The U.S. intelligence community unanimously says that the Kremlin hacked, distributed leaked information, and waged a considerable media campaign to influence the 2016 presidential election in favor of President Donald Trump, and Tillerson told Fox News there’s not much the U.S. can do to stop them the next time around.

“I don’t know that I would say we are better prepared, because the Russians will adapt as well,” Tillerson told Fox.

The point is, if it’s their intention to interfere, they are going to find ways to do that,” he continued. “We can take steps we can take but this is something that, once they decide they are going to do it, it’s very difficult to preempt it.

Though Russia likely broke the law by having state-backed hackers steal information from the Democratic National Committee, cybercrime remains highly unattributable and below the threshold of crimes that the U.S. would respond to with military action.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th
Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis speak to members of the press following a U.S. – China diplomatic and security dialogue at the U.S. State Department in Washington, D.C., June 21, 2017. The dialogue will help the United States narrow its differences with China while expanding cooperation in areas where possible. (DOD photo by U.S. Army Sgt. Amber I. Smith)

Also, much of Russia’s most visible attempts to influence the election were perfectly legal. Russian media outlets bought and paid for advertising and exposure on U.S. social media platforms, like Twitter and Facebook, just like everyone else does.

“There’s a lot of ways that the Russians can meddle in the elections, a lot of different tools they can use,” Tillerson said.

Tillerson told Fox that he suspects Russia’s exercise of its influence has already begun and indicated that the U.S. doesn’t really have a solid plan to block it.

Also Read: Tillerson tackled these major issues in his South Asia trip

“I think it’s important we just continue to say to Russia, ‘Look, you think we don’t see what you’re doing. We do see it and you need to stop. If you don’t, you’re going to just continue to invite consequences for yourself,'” Tillerson said.

Tillerson’s comment about consequences comes after Trump declined to impose sanctions on those with ties to Russia’s defense and intelligence apparatuses in response to the election meddling in 2016.

Experts have suggested to Business Insider that the U.S. also meddles in other countries’ elections, and that the U.S. could potentially take covert steps to disrupt Russia’s 2018 election, but that those efforts would be classified.

Overall, however, Trump has taken a decidedly harder, more militaristic line against Russia than his predecessor, who reset relations with the Kremlin.

MIGHTY FIT

Max your next PT test with this proven nutrition strategy

Contrary to popular belief, nutrition timing isn’t a huge deal. Your human body is smart, assuming you’re a human and not a robot or lizard alien wearing a human skin suit. Your body knows how to use the fuel you give it. It doesn’t rely on you feeding it the exactly correct proportion of nutrients at the exactly perfect time each day.

That being said, there are some things you can do to ensure that you crush your next PT test. Couple this advice with a comprehensive training plan like the Mighty Fit Plan with the Endurance Boost Plug-In, and you’re basically guaranteed a meritorious promotion.

Here’s exactly what you need to do…


[instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/BjZpCj2n3Kr/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link expand=1]Michael Gregory on Instagram: “Everyone wants to know how to eat to boost their athletic performance. Here’s the answer. . Eat the proper amounts of micronutrients and…”

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Step 1: Pre-test nutrition

Consume a normal high protein meal with a solid source of starch or carbs, some good fat, and plenty of micronutrient-containing veggies 2-3 hours before your workout.

Protein before a workout, even hours before a workout, can help maintain and increase muscle size, reduce and prevent chronic muscle damage, and put plenty of amino acids in your bloodstream when your body is most apt to use them.

Carbs before your workout will fuel your training by putting glucose readily in your bloodstream and by topping off your muscle and liver glycogen stores. In addition, carbs stimulate insulin, which is good if you are consuming protein. Insulin prevents muscle protein breakdown and promotes muscle protein synthesis to help your muscles grow.

Fats, although they don’t seem to directly impact performance, do slow down digestion. This means you will have more energy longer because your body is slowly burning the fuel from the rest of your meal.

Bottom line: No need for fancy sports gels or drinks here! Just eat smart.

Have a real whole food meal 2-3 hours before. You could also opt for an easier-to-digest shake with all the needed essentials.

CAFFEINE: The most effective and affordable pre-workout in existence is caffeine. Taken either as a cup of coffee or in a pill, have the equivalent of 200-400mg about an hour before your test, and your system will be primed. Don’t waste your money on any powders in the exchange that come in a plastic tub or energy drinks.

[instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/BjgHXn8HV-K/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link expand=1]Michael Gregory on Instagram: “90% of the time you can get by on drinking water during a workout. The other 10% it depends on what you are doing! . If you are a more…”

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Step 2: During the test nutrition

This portion is only if your PT test is going to take more than 90 minutes!

On average, a PT test lasts an hour with long breaks, You don’t need to eat during it. Consuming anything during a test should be reserved for long sessions like the USMC Combat Endurance Test or pretty much every day at BUD/S.

That being said, you want to focus on protein and fast carbs.

Protein during a workout prevents muscles from breaking down and aids in quicker recovery. For people grinding out multiple hour runs or multiple workouts a day, this is imperative.

Carbs keep your energy substrate elevated during a workout. Once you deplete your glycogen stores, you need to refuel them to stay at a high level of performance for anaerobic activity. This is key if performance is a high priority for you.

Fats aren’t really necessary during training. Plus, they could hit your stomach like a ton of bricks. Stick to protein and carbs. Ensure you are getting your fats in your other meals of the day, like in the meals provided in The Ultimate Composure Nutrition Guide.

You’ll notice a sports drink here. The ONLY time you need one of these sugar bombs is when you are training like a maniac. Otherwise, it’s just destroying your teeth and body.

[instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/Bji4iHnHkMn/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link expand=1]Michael Gregory on Instagram: “The anabolic window is dead. All hail the wide open anabolic garage door! . What do you need to eat after a workout in order to ensure your…”

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Step 3: Post-workout nutrition

In order to recover (speaking of recovery, here’s how you recover from an injury) so that you can hit it hard tomorrow focus on meals consisting of whole food.

A meal that looks pretty much just like your pre-workout meal is spot-on for post-workout nutrition, consumed within 2 hours after your workout.

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to throw a protein shake down your throat the minute you stop working out. Relax, go home, have a shower, cook a nice meal, and enjoy it.

You easily have up to 90 minutes, maybe even more, after a workout to get the nutrition your body requires.

Besides, the protein you ate before your workout is still peaking in your system. Having a full meal rather than a pure protein shake also helps slow down muscle protein synthesis, which is a good thing. It means your body will have more of a chance to get those amino acids from the protein to where they are needed most in your body.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

Keep things simple and finish strong.

(U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Joel Soriano)

Pretty simple, right?

The major assumption I’m making is that you don’t generally eat like an asshat in your everyday life. As a military professional, you should be fueling your body with high protein whole food meals. Like the kind you can get from the chow hall. Don’t hate, the highest quality nutrition on military bases is in the dining facility. It’s definitely not at Pizza Hut or Xtreme Frank’s Franks.

No carb loading necessary.

No magic amino drink needed.

Just real foods eaten regularly.

Send me any questions, comments, or concerns you have about your specific nutrition needs in regards to your training at michael@composurefitness.com. If you just want my FREE nutrition guide that covers everything you need to successfully cut, bulk, or maintain your current composition, grab it here!

Don’t forget to drop a comment in the comments section of this article’s FB post to let others know what to expect. There’s usually 73 dumb comments by people who didn’t actually read the article. Pipe up and let others know there’s high-quality info in here!

I’m also making a push to keep the conversation going over at the Mighty Fit Facebook Group. If you haven’t yet joined the group, do so. It’s where I spend the most time answering questions and helping people get the most out of their training.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

Send me any questions, comments, or concerns you have about your specific nutrition needs in regards to your training at michael@composurefitness.com. If you just want my FREE nutrition guide that covers everything you need to successfully cut, bulk, or maintain your current composition, grab it here!

Don’t forget to drop a comment in the comments section of this article’s FB post to let others know what to expect. There’s usually 73 dumb comments by people who didn’t actually read the article. Pipe up and let others know there’s high-quality info in here!

I’m also making a push to keep the conversation going over at the Mighty Fit Facebook Group. If you haven’t yet joined the group, do so. It’s where I spend the most time answering questions and helping people get the most out of their training.

MIGHTY TRENDING

Iranian plane full of meat goes down, killing at least 7

A cargo plane coming from Kyrgyzstan has crashed near the Iranian capital, with the country’s military saying only one person of the 16 on board survived.

The Boeing 707 exited the runway and hit a wall while trying to land in bad weather at Fath airport near the city of Karaj, 40 kilometers west of Tehran, reports said on Jan. 14, 2019.


Only one person, a flight engineer, of the 16 people who were onboard was found alive and taken to hospital for treatment, the military said in a statement carried by the semiofficial Fars news agency.

The head of Iran’s emergency department, Pirhossein Kolivand, told state TV that seven bodies were recovered from the wreckage of the plane and that the search continued for others on board.

State television showed pictures of a plume of smoke rising from the crash site.

One survivor, 15 dead in Boeing 707 cargo plane crash in northern Iran

www.youtube.com

“A Boeing cargo 707 place carrying meat from Bishkek in Kyrgyzstan had an emergency landing at Fath airport today…the flight engineer has been dispatched to the hospital,” the military said.

The aircraft “exited the runway during the landing and caught fire after hitting the wall at the end of the runway,” it added.

There was some confusion about who owned the plane.

A spokesman for Iran’s civil aviation said the aircraft belonged to Kyrgyzstan, but a spokeswoman for Manas airport near the Kyrgyz capital, Bishkek, said the plane belonged to Iran’s Payam Air.

The spokeswoman also said that the Boeing crashed in Iran after departing Manas airport.

General Shahin Taghikhani, a spokesman for Iran’s army, told state TV that the plane and its crew were Iranian.

This article originally appeared on Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty. Follow @RFERL on Twitter.

MIGHTY HISTORY

Why Germany insisted that France surrender in this train car

When France asked Germany to open negotiations for an armistice and peace treaty during the Battle of France, Germany was quick to agree — but Hitler had one petty and symbolic gesture that he demanded be part of any negotiations.


The rail car that had belonged to French Marshal Ferdinand Foch on display in the 1920s. It would later be dragged back into the forest on Hitler’s demand as a final insult to the conquered French army.

(Library of Congress)


He wanted the rail car of French Marshal Ferdinand Foch to be returned to Compiegne Forest and for all negotiations to be held there. The rail car and the forest were the site of Germany’s capitulation to France in 1918, ending World War I. For Hitler, this was a chance to wreak symbolic revenge for Germany’s losses, adding insult to injury of the country he had largely conquered.

Foch was a French hero in World War I. Despite setbacks in some offensives, like the Battle of the Somme for which he lost prestige, he was credited as one of the primary contributors to the plans that won the first and second battles of the Marne. By the end of the war, he was the Supreme Allied Commander and the Marshal of France.

It was in this role that he went with his train car to the Compiegne Forest in 1918 to oversee the start of the armistice negotiations. After the reading of the preamble, Fochs stepped outside in what was seen as a direct insult to the German officers within.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

French Marshal Ferdinand Foch, second from right, and other officers from the French and German forces stand outside Foch’s rail car following the end of armistice negotiations ending hostilities in World War I. The armistice went into effect six hours later.

Some of the Treaty of Versailles most restrictive clauses were drawn from the armistice negotiated in the train car. Foch asked for the farm and got everything. Well, except for the exact number of submarines and locomotives he had demanded. Germany simply had less equipment than Foch desired, but they did sign over what they had.

When it was signed, Foch reportedly refused to shake the German officers’ hands. Instead, he said in French, “Well, gentlemen, it’s finished. Go.”

And it didn’t end there. While some of the worst items from the armistice were left out of the Treaty of Versailles, Foch took a public stance on wanting the most restrictive terms possible on Germany, calling for territory to be remitted to France and decades of occupation. Other negotiators and Allied government leaders refused, largely due to worries that strengthening France too much at the expense of Germany could lead to conquest by France.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

French and German soldiers, mostly German, look at the Ferdinand Foch Railway Car in June 1940 as the officers prepare to sign the armistice that will withdraw most French forces from World War II.

For his part, Foch thought the final terms of the treaty were too lenient and declared that the final deal was, “not peace. It is an armistice for 20 years.”

Hitler and other German leaders, apparently still seething from their drubbing and Foch’s treatment at the end of World War I, invaded France less than 21 years after the Treaty of Versailles was signed.

During the invasion, France, gambling heavily that the Ardennes Forest was impassable for panzers and that the Maginot Line was nearly unassailable, sent its best units north. But while the Maginot Line would largely hold for a few weeks, panzers actually found fairly easy passage through the Ardennes, allowing the blitzkrieg to grab large sections of French territory.

The top tier units sent north, meanwhile, were unable to quickly turn and face the new threat and were largely enveloped, forcing the surrender of most of France’s strongest and most modern units. The blitzkrieg marched towards Paris, which was then declared an “Open City,” a city that has given up resisting so that it won’t be destroyed in the war.

The invasion had begun May 10, 1940. Largely because of the Ardennes gamble and the overwhelming force of the blitzkrieg, the negotiations for the armistice began less than six weeks later.

The Compiegne Forest, which Germany demanded be the site of negotiations, meanwhile had grown into a sort of park celebrating France’s World War I victory. A statue of Foch overlooked the rail car, monuments to French dead, and a large statue celebrating the defeat of Germany.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th

Hitler looks at the statue of Ferdinand Foch in the Compiegne Forest before going into Foch’s former railway car to negotiate France’s surrender to Germany.

(U.S. War Department)

Germany destroyed it all, except for the statue of Foch. Where it had once overlooked a forest filled with monuments to France’s victory, it now looked over only a wasteland. For the rest of the war and the first few months of peace, Foch’s statue sat largely alone in an empty forest, all other symbols of triumph stripped away.

But with the end of the war, money was gradually allocated to rebuild the monuments. The train car was burnt and destroyed by Germany in Berlin in 1945, but another car from the same train was found and rebuilt to appear exactly like the Ferdinand Foch Railway Car. It sits like its predecessor in the Compiegne Forest.

Articles

Here’s how Mattis reacted to Flynn’s resignation

When asked about the recent resignation of President Donald Trump’s national security adviser, Michael Flynn, Defense Secretary James Mattis sounded unmoved about Flynn’s departure.


“Here’s the bottom line, ladies and gentlemen. I’m brought in to be the secretary of defense. I give the president advice on the use of military force,” he said, according to Yahoo News Washington correspondent Olivier Knox.

Related: 5 possible replacements for Michael Flynn as national security adviser

“I maintain good relations, strong relations … and so military-to-military relations with other ministries of defense around the world,” he added.

“And frankly, this has no impact. Obviously, I haven’t changed what I’m heading there for. It doesn’t change my message at all. And who’s on the president’s staff is who I will work with.”

Mattis spoke after arriving in Brussels for a NATO meeting. Speaking with the press upon his arrival, he was reluctant to take many questions about Flynn resignation, according to Washington Post correspondent Dan Lamothe.

Flynn and Mattis have a history.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th
Former US National Security Advisor Michael Flynn. | via Flickr

From August 2010 to March 2013, Mattis, then a Marine general, led an investigation into unauthorized disclosures of classified information allegedly made by Flynn, who was then a lieutenant general in the US Army.

The investigation found Flynn shared “classified information with various foreign military officers and/or officials in Afghanistan without proper authorization,” according to a Washington Post report late last year. Sources told The Post the secrets were about CIA operations in Afghanistan.

Flynn was not disciplined for the incident, however, since the disclosures were not “done knowingly” and not damaging to national security.

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of April 5th
The 26th Secretary of Defense, James Mattis, is greeted on his first full day in the position by Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen. Joseph F. Dunford Jr., in Arlington, VA, Jan. 21, 2017. DoD photo by D. Myles Cullen (released)

After the investigation, Flynn was assigned to lead the Defense Intelligence Agency in September 2011. However, he was forced out of that role in early 2014, reportedly due to mismanagement.

In November, NBC News reported that Flynn personally crossed Mattis’ name off a list of candidates for national-security positions in the Trump administration.