Standing a 24-hour duty is filled with painfully boring moments and time never seems to pass by as you’d want it to. No matter where you are in your career, chances are you still have very fresh memories of your last run-in with Staff Duty. So you might know the best way to kill time is with humor. Even lower enlisted troops start to develop military humor very early on in their careers. It’s a talent that helps all of us mentally balance not just Staff Duty, but also every other time someone says to Embrace the Suck.
Don’t worry, we’ve got a few ideas to help pass the time.
1. Film a YouTube video
Everyone watches YouTube at one time or another. Get your story out there during your 24-hour shift. Just don’t forget about OPSEC.
2. Come up with new jokes for the back of the green logbook
At some military commands, if you open to the very back of the famous green logbook, there just might be a collection of jokes handwritten in there. Legions of previous service members have passed time on Staff Duty finding funny ways to talk about military life. If you’re bored, think of some new ones and add them in. It’s a fun way to keep your mind off the fact you’re standing a boring-ass duty.
3. F*ck with rovers
If you’re a “DNCO,” or duty non-commissioned officer, you’re going to have an A-Duty to order around. Use that to your advantage and let your imagination run wild as you send them out on dumb missions. Not only will it make your Staff Duty pass more quickly, but their’s will too!
4. Then, f*ck with the pizza guy
You’re going to get hungry. 99.9% of the time, you’re going to order a large pizza — maybe some wings. If the delivery guy is a civilian, then f*ck with them after you get your pizza. If you do it too soon, your pie might get sabotaged.
5. Practice your knife-hand in the mirror
It sounds dumb when you say it out loud, but it’s still kind of fun.
6. Watch the boots get hazed
After your unit gets a “boot drop,” the seasoned guys will want to leave a fresh mark on the newbies that show up. It’s entertaining to watch the new guys get “trained” after normal working hours.
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7. Edit your YouTube video
Remember that video you filmed way back at the start of your Staff Duty? Well, it’s going to need some edits. So you might as well use your 24-hour shift and make sure it’s as clever as ever. You filmed an epic video, now it’s time to edit and add voiceover to it.
8. Play video games on your phone until the Officer of the Day comes around
You’re on for a whole 24 hours of duty. Why not try to make the most of it? Try and get that high score and earn your place atop the leaderboards. You’ll have plenty of time until the OOD shows up. And maybe the OOD is cool and you two can shoot the sh*t while you’re both on Staff Duty … or maybe not.
9. Continuously call your relief to remind them to show up on time
The last thing you want is to get off duty a second later than you have to.
10. After your relief shows up, post your new YouTube video online
Tell your story of courage to the whole world! Everyone needs to know how you made the most of your 24-hour duty. Make sure to use lots of annoying hashtags when you post your video too. Like they always say, pics or it didn’t happen.