Entertainment Humor

6 activities in the infantry that are more common than combat

People often associate the military with fighting wars, which makes complete sense. The infantry, which is the spearhead of the military, is the primary combat job. So, one might would think infantrymen are in every country upon which the United Sta…
David Grove Avatar

People often associate the military with fighting wars, which makes complete sense. The infantry, which is the spearhead of the military, is the primary combat job. So, one might would think infantrymen are in every country upon which the United States is dropping bombs. The truth is: they’re not. In fact, chances are, they’re stuck on a boat, an island, or in a porta-john waiting for the next war to pop off so they can play in the big leagues.

Being in the infantry between wars is a lot like being on a professional sports team that only ever goes to practice. Realistically, the United States has been at war for quite some time, but what people don’t know is that infantry probably aren’t involved in that war.

Here are activities in the infantry that are more common than combat

Waiting

waiting around in the military
It might be accurate to assess military life as 80% waiting. Hell, most of the time you spend in boot camp is in lines. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. A. J. Van Fredenberg)

Whether it’s in a line, in the field, or in a barracks room, the infantry is stuck waiting. Always. Waiting. Anthony Swafford, author of Jarhead, truthfully wrote, “…we wait, this is our labor.” If that doesn’t define “peacetime” military life, what does? The fact of the matter is that you’ll spend most of your time waiting for something and no one knows what that something is, not even your command.

Cleaning

cleaning squad bay
You’ll probably spend more time holding a broom than a rifle, honestly. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Sgt. Caitlin Brink)

Everyone knows veterans are extremely organized and are good at keeping things clean. That’s because we spend so much of our time cleaning everything that it becomes habit. In the military, you even clean things that can’t be cleaned. In fact, most of what you do is polish turds, considering military barracks (specifically those of the Marine Corps) haven’t been renovated since the day they were built.

Smoking

what does infantry do other than smoking
You’ll get used to smoking in your free time. (Rally Point)

This isn’t for everyone, but quite a few people pick up the habit because it’s a great time killer. Remember how we said you spend 80% of your career waiting? Well, if you pick up smoking, you’ll bring that down to 70% and use that other 10% to smoke as you combat the boredom of waiting.

In a safety stand-down

what does infantry do? a lot of waiting
This will probably be what kills you first. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by LCpl Andre Heath)

Whether it’s a three-hour lecture on sexual assault, the importance of wearing a seat belt, or why the desert tortoise is sacred at the Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center (a.k.a. Twentynine Palms), you’re going to sit in the base theater for an entire day listening to one commander “piggy back” off another.

‘Appreciating’ adult films

what does infantry do on deployment
Don’t worry, there will be porta-johns in-country.

If you don’t pick up smoking, you might instead find yourself killing time in a porta-john doing this. If you’re at Twentynine Palms during the summer (or in general), you might even challenge yourself to see if you can complete your “mission” before you pass out in the porta-john.

Just to be clear, this will probably be in addition to killing your lungs.

Video games

what does infantry do? Play video games
You’ll probably play a video game where you portray someone doing your job, too. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Ash Severe)

Remember what we said about waiting in a barracks room? This is what you’ll probably do during that time. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a leadership position or if you’re a boot rifleman (if you’re a boot, you should study instead), you’ll be killing time by playing video games. When you’re taking a break from that, you’ll probably be doing #3 or #5 instead.

Just make sure one of the first things you do in your unit is buy a small T.V. and game system or a highly efficient laptop. Even if you go on a combat deployment, you might be able to take it with you to kill time between patrols or other duties.

Read more on WATM:

The best military history books of 2022

Ukraine is getting these 3 armored fighting vehicles from the US, France and Germany

3 up-and-coming outdoor therapy nonprofits for veterans

Interview with Glen Powell, ‘Devotion’ actor and producer