15 last-minute Valentine's Day gift ideas from actual military spouses - We Are The Mighty
Humor

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Pfc. Harley Dennis, of Anderson, who serves with the Missouri National Guard’s 276th Engineer Company in Pierce City, assists Sgt. 1st Class Eric Corcoran to deliver more than 300 Valentine’s Day balloons to area school kids in the southwest Missouri town. (Photo by Staff Sgt. Dennis Chambers/Missouri National Guard)


In our house, Valentine’s Day isn’t really a thing. As a general rule, the Marine isn’t home for the “holiday,” and since there are a lot of holiday’s he spends away, courtesy of the USMC, this is one day we just don’t really concern ourselves with.

But this year we ran into a snag. Their names are Bethany, Zachary, and Christopher — also known as the three youngest members of the Foley Fire Team.

On the edge of the dreaded teenage years, Bethany came home a few days ago armed with a love note from her “boyfriend” (that asshole), and sat down with her younger brothers to plot out “The Best Valentine’s Gift Ever;” it apparently consists of a lot of bacon (they DO take after their mother, after-all), and a seven-hour nap time while they’re at school. Because adulting is hard.

They presented their plan to the Marine, and then waited with bated breath for him to tell them his grand scheme for the Day Of Love.

“I just bought Mom curtains and a new curtain rod. I suppose I could hang them up before she wakes up?”

The two youngest of the fire team promptly ran off to tattle on Daddy. Not buy Mom a “love” gift? He’s practically an abomination to them right now.

While the boys were relaying the horrifying ordeal to me, I wondered how the Marine was going to get out of this one. It’s perfectly fine to explain to the 12-year-old that sometimes Dad just doesn’t really subscribe to romantic things. As a girl she’s going to have to come to terms with the fact that dudes like him really do exist.

But try explaining that to two 8-and 9-year-old boys who are currently at the dining room table gluing pink and red hearts all over their camouflage Valentine boxes because they know that, while they like camo and guns, girls sometimes like hearts. How Daddy doesn’t understand this is totally beyond their capacity.

“Maybe Daddy is planning a surprise and he doesn’t want to ruin it,” I whispered conspiratorially. The boys nodded and agreed that that’s exactly what was happening. It was the only thing that made sense to them.

“You’re going to want to brain storm some last minute ideas, dude,” I told the Marine later.

“Can you do that crowd-sourcing thing you do on your Facebook and I’ll pick something from that?” he asked.

So that’s exactly what I did, and let me say, I was surprised. Not one girl said she wanted flowers, chocolate, jewelry, or even anything expensive or time consuming, and a lot of their gift suggestions included food.

In fact, because I know the Marine isn’t the only one out there who is finding himself in a gift pickle at the last minute, here’s what actual military spouses said they really want for Valentine’s Day, word for word and complete with all their annoying little emoji things:

1. Bacon roses

Because Valentine’s Day just screams “pork,” right?

2. Not celebrating Valentine’s Day at all.

Jeesh, more “romance” in our marriage/dating? We already have enough of that already…

3. Homemade vouchers for cool stuff

How about a movie night, a kiss and makeup session no matter how upset I am, free kisses anytime all day, etc.

4. Stay at home “date”

My husband is hitting up the USO tomorrow during lunch for flowers and cheap chocolate. ?. Yes he told me he wants to do that. He’s ridiculous. Lol. But in seriousness, even a nice walk or living room picnic on the floor. Super cheap, corny, and fun

5. Waffle House

Hands down. If you sneak them like $10, they’ll let you smuggle in wine sometimes (not that I’m speaking from experience or anything).

6. Beach stroll

This year we are going to take a few hours during the day to run to the beach and just put our toes in the sand before kids get home from school.

7. Mom time

Netflix movie, homemade desert, and pjs. 🙂

8. Cheap sushi

We went to Hamazushi last night because it’s very inexpensive (most items are ¥100 a plate), all you can eat, good quality sushi. Plus it’s all served on conveyor belts and ya can’t beat the novelty of that. 😉 Also, [He] started college again and has a lab tonight, so he won’t be home for “actual” Valentine’s date stuff.

9. A cuddle

After being apart—just being together is enough. I know that may sound cheesy, but it’s so the truth. Being preggo and sick, I’m hoping our date will include pj’s and our couch and the latest “this is us” episode.

10. Couch time

We spend all our budget on the kids. We will stay home with popcorn and a movie to celebrate it.

11. Old School necking

In the car…in the driveway!! ??

12. A load of beef … with love

I’ll make him his fave meal at home… meat loaf!

13. Learn something new

We are taking a couples cooking class tomorrow ❤️

14. A full-on pizza and bubbly extravaganza

[He] & I have done the same thing every year since we’ve been together: Heart-shaped homemade pizza (with mini heart pizzas for the puppies) + our favorite prosecco (the same brand from our wedding) and chocolate covered strawberries (sometimes homemade, sometimes from HEB)… and then turning on a cheesy movie or tv show on Netflix.

It started out the first year or two as our “thing” because we really couldn’t afford too much else. But now it’s a special, almost sacred ritual for us. I wouldn’t trade our little cozy tradition for a world-class meal. It’s just too important to me. I should clarify and say “every year he was actually HERE to celebrate.”

15. Some shootin’

Well, we got married Valentine’s day. We celebrate by hanging out and we go to dinner either the day before or the day after (since payday is always afterwards)because it’s always less crowded. This year is our 20th and we both took the day off. We’re having a range and lunch date. Since it’s a work day, lunch isn’t as crowded and definitely cheaper.

So what are you doing for Valentine’s Day?

And if the Marine is reading this, bacon roses are totally appropriate.

Military Life

How South Korea’s military will be commanded by a US general

General Vincent Brooks has a tough job. As the commander of all American forces in Korea, he is responsible for the lives of some 20,000 U.S. troops. That’s big. But if North Korea attacks South Korea, the four-star general suddenly becomes the leader of up to 4 million joint U.S.-South Korean regulars and reservists.


15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
U.S. Army Pacific Commanding General, Gen. Vincent K. Brooks meets with leaders from the 25th Infantry Division during exercise Garuda Shield 2014. (Photo by U.S. Army Sgt. 1st Class Matthew Veasley, 16th Mobile Public Affairs Detachment)

Since 1981, the general staff on the Korean Peninsula has been organized as a combined staff, led by an American four-star general with a South Korean deputy commander of equal rank. If attacked by North Korea, this Combined Forces Command will command the joint air, sea, and ground defenses of the South.

The national duality of shared command exists throughout the CFC command structure. Anywhere an American officer is in command, the deputy is from the Republic of Korea. Anywhere an ROK officer is in command, the deputy is an American.

Related: South Korean troops on DMZ are ready for anything

This structure exists from the tactical level all the way up to the overall commander.

This is not true for other nations who share a mutual defense treaty with the United States. In Japan, for example, the U.S. will still come aid in defending the nation, but the Japanese would retain their overall command structure.

When the Republic of Korea and American military do their annual, 200,000-man strong joint exercises (you know, the ones that piss off the North Koreans as they quake in their boots),  the Combined Forces Command oversees that exercise.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Lock it up, Kim. (KCNA photo)

For General Vincent Brooks, those exercises must be a necessary deterrent from North Korean aggression, even as the war of words exchanged between the Kim Regime and the Trump White House escalate.

popular

17 brilliant insights from legendary Marine General James Mattis

Retired Marine Gen. James Mattis is a legend in the military. Revered by Marines and non-Marines alike, Mattis has taken on the persona of a modern-day Patton — having the knowledge and insight to lead his Marines through combat, while standing behind them and taking the heat if things go bad. In short, Mattis is a hell of a leader.


In 2013 while serving as commander of Central Command in Tampa, Fla., Mattis retired after four decades of service. Since then, he’s been teaching at Stanford and Dartmouth, as well as speaking across the country on leadership. He’s also working on a book with author Bing West.

We looked back at some of the best insights he offered, through a great collection of quotes. Most apply strictly to military service, but some can be just as useful in the corporate boardroom.

“You cannot allow any of your people to avoid the brutal facts. If they start living in a dream world, it’s going to be bad.”

The “dream world” Mattis is talking about is one of denial and complacency — a mood in combat that can get you killed. And in corporate America, it can get you wiped out by the competition.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

“If in order to kill the enemy you have to kill an innocent, don’t take the shot. Don’t create more enemies than you take out by some immoral act.”

Mattis, who co-wrote the manual for Counterinsurgency with Gen. David Petraeus, knows well that troops cannot win over the population to their side if they are killing the wrong people. His advice here to soldiers and Marines is spot on.

“I don’t lose any sleep at night over the potential for failure. I cannot even spell the word.”

Of course he can spell it but that’s not the point. Mattis wants to impress upon his troops that failure should not be an option.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

“Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.”

Before his Marines deployed to Iraq in 2003, he told them this (along with many other great pieces of advice in a now-famous letter). His point here is to be a professional warfighter who can be polite with civilians, but always remember that if things go south, the dirty work needs to get done.

“The first time you blow someone away is not an insignificant event. That said, there are some sh–heads in the world that just need to be shot. There are hunters and there are victims. By your discipline, you will decide if you are a hunter or a victim.”

Recalling the mentality of the wolf, the sheep, and the sheepdog, Mattis understands that there is evil in the world. It’s important for his men to be prepared for whether they will be the hunter or the victim if they ever face it.

“There are some people who think you have to hate them in order to shoot them. I don’t think you do. It’s just business.”

One of his more controversial quotes, to be sure. But in Mattis’ view, to be a professional, you need to have a professional mindset. It’s not really necessary to get emotional about what you have to do. It just needs to get done.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

“You can overcome wrong technology. Your people have the initiative, they see the problem, no big deal … you can’t overcome bad culture. You’ve gotta change whoever is in charge.”

In a talk at Stanford, Mattis was relating how toxic culture can bring down an organization that has everything else right. The culture of an organization comes from the top, and if that part is screwed up, there are going to be problems.

“The most important six inches on the battlefield is between your ears.”

Mattis doesn’t want robots just mindlessly following his orders. As a leader, he gives broad guidance and lets his men use their own brains to decide how it gets accomplished.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

 

“Find the enemy that wants to end this experiment (in American democracy) and kill every one of them until they’re so sick of the killing that they leave us and our freedoms intact.”

Amen.

“In this age, I don’t care how tactically or operationally brilliant you are, if you cannot create harmony — even vicious harmony — on the battlefield based on trust across service lines, across coalition and national lines, and across civilian/military lines, you need to go home, because your leadership is obsolete. We have got to have officers who can create harmony across all those lines.”

Mattis implores his officers to not get stuck in their own little boxes. Learning how to be brilliant on the battlefield is important, but it’s more important to be able to work with others to get the job done.

 

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

“PowerPoint makes us stupid.”

Military officers endure (and have to create) tons of PowerPoint briefings to inform their chain of command what’s going on. Mattis however, is not one of those officers. He actually banned PowerPoint since he saw it as a waste of time.

“You are part of the world’s most feared and trusted force. Engage your brain before you engage your weapon.”

Mattis wants his Marines to always be thinking before they take the shot. It’s advice that has no doubt saved lives.

“An untrained or uneducated Marine … deployed to the combat zone is a bigger threat to mission accomplishment … than the enemy.”

The biggest detriment to mission accomplishment is not from the competition, but from within. Having the right mindset and skills is what results in getting results.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

“No war is over until the enemy says it’s over. We may think it over, we may declare it over, but in fact, the enemy gets a vote.”

Combat doesn’t happen in a vacuum. All the planning, meetings, and briefings on what potentially can happen in a given situation are good, but the bad guys will always react in uncertain ways. The key is to be prepared for anything.

“Be the hunter, not the hunted: Never allow your unit to be caught with its guard down.”

Just because you are at the top of your game doesn’t mean someone won’t come along to knock you down. Units (and individuals) need to be vigilant and make sure that doesn’t happen.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

 

“Ultimately, a real understanding of history means that we face NOTHING new under the sun.”

Mattis is an avid reader. On all his deployments, the general brought along a ton of books that he thought may help him along the way. In an email that went viral (via Business Insider) on the importance of reading, Mattis wrote that it “doesn’t give me all the answers, but it lights what is often a dark path ahead.”

“You’ve been told that you’re broken. That you’re damaged goods … there is also Post-Traumatic Growth. You come back from war stronger and more sure of who you are.”

While giving a speech to veterans in San Francisco, Mattis tried to dispel the mindset that those leaving the service should be pitied. Instead, he told them, use your experiences as a positive that teaches you to be a better person.

 

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

Humor

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of Oct. 27

It’s nearly Halloween. You know what that means…


Just a few more weeks until the Veteran’s Day free food extravaganza.

Until then, tide yourself over with the best military memes your veteran buddies could muster.

1. American and British vets went to Meme War this week. (via Fill Your Boots)

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Sick burn. No, really…

2. Maybe red uniforms weren’t the best idea. (via The Salty Soldier).

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
When you plow the fields by 6 but have a battle for independence at 8.

3. We were Facebook once… and young. (via Pop Smoke)

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
I don’t like to talk about my time on MySpace.

4. How long can sick call put a superhero on quarters?

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Is that curl in regs?

5. To be fair, Amazonians get better training. (via Decelerate Your Life)

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Americans don’t join the IDF because they’re Jewish.

6. I’d like to see blueberries fool Snoop.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
I’m shook.

7. Marry that girl. (via Disgruntled Decks)

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
#relationshipgoals.

8. The military, where everything is made up and the points don’t matter. (via Why I’m Not Re-Enlisting)

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

9. But I’m not bitter. (via Pop Smoke)

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
I might be a little bitter.

10. Time is a flat circle.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
I’d rather deploy to Mars than go back to Iraq.

11. Why would you buy a can of Army?

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Shoulda bought a bottle of Air Force.

12. Always ready… for your deployment.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Low blow, Coastie.

13. Come at me, fam. (via Disgruntled Decks)

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Except the Coast Guard. That meme was savage.

Lists

6 reasons Charleston might be America’s most gung-ho military city

We’re not just talking about the USS Yorktown at Patriot’s Point (although 11 battles stars and a Presidential Unit Citation is nothing to shake a stick at). The entire history of Charleston, South Carolina, has been full-blown ‘Merica from Day One: independence, freedom, and local pride.


15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Where real food is served on newspaper.

One of the first things the founders of Charleston did was to construct a wooden stockade to defend the colony from the surrounding tribes and Spanish outlaws. Since then, one of the friendliest cities in America has constantly contributed some of its best to the unfriendliest of situations.

1. Charleston saw the first defeat of the British Navy in America.

In June 1776 – yes, before July 4th – a squadron of Royal Navy ships sailed into Charleston Harbor and attempted to land on Sullivan’s Island. Fighting from a patchwork of Palmetto logs filled with sand, William Moultrie led 435 South Carolina militiamen and dozens of cannon against nine ships and more than 2,000 Redcoats.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

They fought off the British squadron after a full day of fighting and the British wouldn’t return to Charleston until 1780.

2. Andrew Jackson’s anger was born in Charleston.

After the Battle of Stono Ferry, Andrew Jackson was held as a POW by the British. The young Jackson was ordered to polish the boots of a British officer. Jackson, a crotchety old man even in his youth, refused. So the officer cut Jackson’s face and hands with his sword.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Disciplining children was a lot different back then.

Jackson never forgot the event and carried his hatred of the British throughout his career. It came in handy at the Battle of New Orleans in the War of 1812, when Jackson and his outnumbered ragtag group of slaves, soldiers, and pirates fought the British in a lopsided victory for 12 straight days.

3. The opening shots of the Civil War were fired there.

With all the controversy surrounding the memories of the Confederacy, it’s a tribute to the people of Charleston that even when their state was in full rebellion against the United States, the opening siege of Fort Sumter managed not to kill anyone.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

The Union troops were allowed to leave the city, with only one death. When they fired a 100-gun salute as the Union troops lowered the American flag, a Union artilleryman was killed when his cannon accidentally misfired.

4. Charlestonians developed the first submarine used in combat.

Fortunately, the mystery surrounding the CSS Hunley’s disappearance was solved after the ship was raised in 2000. The Hunley was the first submarine to sink an enemy ship, but as it rammed a spar tipped with explosives at the USS Housatonic, the blast wave caused the disappearance of the Hunley for more than a century.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

The answer was that the blast wave killed the crew immediately. Though far enough from the explosion that sank the enemy ship, the blast wave – traveling slower through the water – cause three times the damage to their soft tissue. The crew of the Hunley knew the boat sank twice during testing and knew the dangers of the underwater blast, but went on the mission anyway.

5. Charleston has been training military leaders forever.

Ok, not forever, but The Citadel, The Military College of South Carolina, has been in operation since 1846 and in that time has created so many notable officers, heroes, football stars, and other alumni (including one Miss USA and an Oscar nominee), listing them all would be time consuming.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
We Are The Mighty writers don’t get paid by the word.

Its more notable alums include General William Westmoreland, who commanded all U.S. forces in Vietnam as well as and Charleston’s own former Mayor Joe Riley, who led the city for more than 40 years.

6. Charleston is where legends are born and honored.

All five living former American Presidents – Jimmy Carter, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama – agreed to serve as honorary directors for the National Medal of Honor Museum going up in the Mount Pleasant area of greater Charleston.

Patriot’s Point is going to be the home that preserves the stories of America’s bravest (or craziest) fighting men and women.
Humor

5 reasons why ‘Saving Private Ryan’ should have been about Pvt. Ryan

In 1998, Steven Spielberg put forth what’s considered one of the best war movies of all time, Saving Private Ryan. The filmmaker brings audiences inside the life of an infantry squad as they maneuver through the bloody battlefields of World War II.


Saving Private Ryan follows a squad of Army Rangers whose sole mission is to locate one soldier and bring him home after his brothers were discovered to be killed in battle.

Despite the film’s title, the movie doesn’t center around the eponymous Pvt. Ryan, but rather the men who bear the struggles of war to find him.

Related: This is what the pilots from ‘Top Gun’ are doing today

So, check out five reasons why we think Saving Private Ryan should have been about Pvt. Ryan.

5. The Ryan brothers getting separated

After the audience learns that 3 of the 4 Ryan brothers have died in battle, General Marshall is informed that they were all separated due to the Sullivan Act.

Watching the Ryan brothers as they get split up, knowing it might be the last time they would ever see one another, would’ve been an exceptionally powerful scene.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
These Army officers discuss the news of Pvt. Ryan’s dilemma and formulate a plan to get him out. (Image from DreamWorks Studios)

4. The paratrooper’s perspective

At one point in the film, Capt. Miller learns about all of the mis-drops that affected airborne soldiers, including Pvt. Ryan. How awesome would the footage have looked with Spielberg behind the camera, capturing the paratroopers’ perspectives on inaccurate drops?

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Lt. Colonel Anderson informs Capt. Miller of his new and incredibly difficult mission — find one man in the whole damn war. (Image from DreamWorks Studios)

3. The first battle over the bridge

Cpl. Henderson debriefs Capt. Miller on their bloody encounters with the Germans while babysitting the bridge. Some of us would have rather seen that intense footage as opposed to watching one of our favorite medics pass away as a result of an avoidable firefight.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Cpl. Henderson debriefs the Rangers on their bloody encounters with the Germans. (Image from DreamWorks Studios)

2. Humanizing Pvt. Ryan

Let’s face it, Pvt. Ryan isn’t our favorite, but we understand why he didn’t want to leave the only brothers he had left. But, a few minutes before the Germans show up to fight, Pvt. Ryan tells Capt. Miller a funny story of the last night he and his brothers were together.

Actually seeing the Ryan brothers all together, causing a ruckus, would bring some comic relief to an otherwise dark film.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Ryan laughs as he remembers a funny story of the last time he was with his brothers. (Image from DreamWorks Studios)

Also Read: 5 things you didn’t know about Sgt. Elias’s death scene in ‘Platoon’

1. “Earn this”

Toward the end of the film, Capt. Miller brings Ryan in close and tells him to “earn this.” These simple words have a significant impact on Pvt. Ryan’s life moving forward. But, outside of bringing his family to Capt. Miller’s grave, we don’t know how Ryan lived out his days.

Centering the film around Pvt. Ryan and showing a montage his successful, post-war life could help give us closure.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Capt. Miller and Pvt. Ryan watch the P-51s fly through the battlespace right after a hectic firefight. (Image from DreamWorks Studios)

popular

8 over-the-top ways troops had fun with their reenlistment

Troops rarely get a say in anything. As a lower-enlisted, your opinion is often discounted and–not to burst any bubbles–as you climb higher, you’ll likely find more of the same. One of the rare exceptions, however, is in determining the conditions of your reenlistment.


Nine times out of ten, a reenlisting troop will say, “screw it, just give me the paperwork” without testing the limits of exactly how far a commander is willing to go to keep them in. Commanders can shoot down the silly requests, sure, but on rare, beautiful occasions, a troop will get exactly what they want.

These are a few of those moments:

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
(Photo by Petty Officer 2nd Class Laurie Dexter)

 

While putting out a fire

It makes perfect sense if you’re a firefighter to have your reenlistment in the middle of a simulated fire. The key word here is ‘simulated.’ If it wasn’t, you probably should focus on, you know, the task at hand.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

 

On an anchor

This one seems fitting as you’re tying your career down for a few more years.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
(U.S. Navy photo by James Woods)

 

While freefalling

Why reenlist before your jump or after you land when you can save time and take the Oath right in the middle?

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
(Meme via USAWTFM)

 

At a Gamestop

Deep down, we all know that dude’s reenlistment bonus is going towards video games. Let’s just cut out the middleman and hand the check directly to the guy behind the counter.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
(U.S. Army Photo)

 

At a football game

You and your buddies might as well get free tickets to a football game while you give Uncle Sam a few more years of your life.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
(Photo by Sgt. 1st Class Caleb Barrieau)

 

In the gas chamber

This may seem like a terrible idea, but with all that CS gas, you can try and pull the “I didn’t make the oath. I was coughing too much!” line if you change your mind.

Pro tip: It won’t work.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
(U.S. Army)

 

At the South Pole

On the bright side, they got an Antarctica Service Medal in exchange for giving a few additional years to Uncle Sam.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
(U.S. Navy photo by Bruce Howard)

 

By Jon motherf*cking Bon Jovi at the One World Trade Center

I’m not even mad. This is just impressive. She forever has a one-up on anyone trying to outdo her reenlistment.

“You just want a reenlistment on the bow of the ship? Oh, that’s neat…”

Articles

What is SGLI and do you actually need it?

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
The white gloved hands of a member of the U.S. Air Force Honor Guard hold a folded United States flag. The triangular shaped folded flag and accompanying ceremony is an inspiring way to honor the flag and what it represents during solemn ceremonies. (U.S. Air National Guard Photo by Master Sgt. Vincent De Groot 185th ARW Wing PA


In the military’s acronym-packed lingo, SGLI stands for “Service Members Group Life Insurance,” and according to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, it is a “program that provides low-cost term life insurance coverage to eligible service members.”

Troops that are eligible for SGLI are active duty in any of the service branches; commissioned members of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration or the U.S. Public Health Service; cadets, or midshipmen of a U.S. military academy; members, cadets, or midshipmen of an ROTC unit and engaged in authorized training or practice cruises; a member of the reserve or National Guard and are scheduled to attend a minimum of 12 periods of inactive training per year; or a service member who volunteers for mobilization in the Individual Ready Reserve.

Service members who are eligible for SGLI are automatically enrolled at the maximum rate of $400,000, though they may choose to decline or lower their coverage and make changes to it.

Service members retain their SGLI coverage for 120 days after separation from the service, though completely disabled veterans may extend that coverage for a maximum of two years after separation.

Reserve members who do not qualify for coverage are allotted “part-time” coverage.

So why do you need SGLI anyway?

Being a service member is obviously a high risk job. High risk jobs, according to CheatSheet, can cost as much as $2000 extra annually for life insurance companies, which is roughly 500 percent more than you’ll pay through your SGLI.

The bottom line is that SGLI is incredibly inexpensive, at just $29 a month, and it’s worth it for your family to have some peace of mind should something happen to you in the line of duty.

Humor

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of Oct. 13

Another week down. Everything in the news is still terrible.


The White House is imploding. Hollywood is imploding. There’s a Friday the 13th in October.

But you know what you can count on?

Memes. And we have the best military memes around.

1. Nobody wants to work on weekends. Or ever. (via Pop Smoke)

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
You can also apply this to any girlfriend I’ve ever had.

2. If you thought the news from Hollywood was bad…

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
He may not be surprised that we’re still in Afghanistan though.

Read: 6 reasons why it would suck to be a Stormtrooper in Star Wars

3. At least the Army keeps it interesting.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Does this mean they have to bring back DCUs for Iraq and Afghanistan?

4. Blueberries are the new bell bottoms. (via Sh*t My LPO Says)

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
I thought they swabbed decks.

5. Veterans day is coming. You can almost taste the free food.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Vets are getting more aggressive with it every year.

Also: 11 things your platoon medic would never say

6. Grandpa is sick of your bullsh*t. (via Decelerate Your Life)

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Be frightened of old sailors. I am.

7. It’s not just good advice. It’s reality.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

8. It’s the Navy birthday, but the Coast Guard can still ruin the party.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

Now: This Desert Storm gun is a favorite for special ops units

9. For some reason Veterans declared war on JROTC last week.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
They’re all gonna get officer ranks for this. If they, you know, survive.

10. If you know how this started, drop us a line.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
That kid doesn’t even have a single merit badge, I bet.

11. It ain’t about the merit badges, it’s about the freshman next to you.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
At least there’s no hot weapons. Because they’re in high school.

12. JROTC is the calm before the storm.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
That’s true bearing and discipline.

13. JROTC: Send us your best responses.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Veterans only respect strength. They better be good.

Bonus: More of the best JROTC Memes. Enjoy your weekend!

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
via Decelerate Your Life

 

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Zapp Brannigan had 30 Merit Badges as a Freshman.

Also Read: 11 regional American foods we’d like to see in MREs

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Operator AF.

 

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
via Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said.

Lists

23 ridiculously long military acronyms (and what they mean)

The military is notorious for using acronyms and abbreviations, and here are 23 of them that approach YGTBSM status:


 

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

1. AARDACONUS – Army Air Reconnaissance for Damage Assessment in the Continental United States

2. ADCOMSUBORDCOMPHIBSPAC – Administrative Command, Amphibious Forces, Pacific Fleet Subordinate Command (US Navy)

3. ARCCbtWMD – Army Council for Combating Weapons of Mass Destruction

4. ASTAMIDS – Airborne Standoff Minefield Detection System

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Airborne Standoff Minefield Detection System (Photo: L-3)

5. CASTFOREM – Combined Arms and Support Task Force Evaluation Model

6. COMNAVAIRSYSCOM – Commander, Naval Air Systems Command

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Vice Adm. David Dunaway, Commander, Naval Air Systems Command and member of USNA’s great Class of ’82.

 

7. DEFREMANEDCEN – Defense Resources Management Education Center

8. FLEASWTRACENPAC – Fleet Anti-Submarine Warfare Training Center – Pacific

 

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

9. HERCULES – Heavy Equipment Recovery Combat Utility Lift and Evacuation System (pictured below being loaded on to a C-17)

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
HERCULES being loaded onto a C-17 (Photo: Jason Minto/USAF)

10. HELANTISUBRON5 – Helicopter Anti-Submarine Squadron Five

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

 

11. HRCCIOSPB – Human Resources Command Chief Information Office Strategic Planning Branch

12. INCONMOVREP – Intra‐Continental United States Movement Report

13. MARCORSYSCOM – Marine Corps Systems Command

14. MILPERSIMS – Military Personnel Information System

15. MOBAALOCO – Mobilization Active Army locator

16. NAVCOMTELSTA ASCOMM DET WHIDBEY – Naval Computer and Telecommunication Station, Antisubmarine Warfare Communications Center Detachment Whidbey Island

17. NAVEODTECHDIV – Naval Explosive Ordnance Disposal Technology Division

18. POPNAMRAD – Policies, Organizations, and Procedures in Non‐atomic Military Research and Development

19. Prime BEEF – Prime Base Engineer Emergency Force. Pictured below, members of the U.S. Air Force 577th Expeditionary Prime Base Engineer Emergency Force Squadron constructs a dome shelter on Camp Marmal, Afghanistan.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Photo: Senior Airman Sandra Welch/USAF

20. RED HORSE – Rapid Engineers Deployable Heavy Operations Repair Squadron, Engineers

21. SINCGARS – Single-Channel Ground and Airborne Radio System

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Photo: Wikipedia

22. SLAMRAAM – Surface Launched Advanced Medium Range Air to Air Missile.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Photo: Wikipedia

 

23. USAADACENFB – United States Army Air Defense Artillery Center, Fort Bliss

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

NOW: 11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds

OR: The 12 most iconic military recruiting spots of all time

Humor

6 of this year’s April Fools’ pranks around the military

April Fools’ Day has come a long way from the silly pranks we pulled in our youth. These days, pranks are much more sophisticated, landing on our news feeds from official sources who are allowed to let loose for a single day of the year. Everyone gets in on the fun — and the military and veteran community is no exception.


Here are some of the highlights from April Fools’ Day 2018:

Marlow White Uniforms

Marlow White Uniforms has been the official manufacturer of Army, Navy, and First Responder dress uniforms since 1879. That’s right, these are the guys responsible for the Army’s “throwback” to Pinks and Greens.

Chances are the people that got hyped by this video are the same people waiting on the sequel to Star Wars: Rogue One.

Ranger Up Military and MMA Apparel

Ranger Up stuck with an oldie-but-a-goodie.

Plenty of folks in the comment section caught on before it was too late. Others now have one of the catchiest 80s songs stuck in their head.

Terminal Lance

Terminal Lance has been setting up this joke for a while now. Previously, they ran a poll on whether the titular character, LCpl. Abe, should re-enlist. Overwhelmingly, fans didn’t want the comics to turn into a story about being a veteran.

Then, Uriarte published some comics about talking to a prior-service recruiter on Mar. 31 — followed by a few posts that said he was talking to a prior-service recruiter.

The joke actually has multiple layers considering it’s been a yearly tradition to give other ranks, branches, and even British Marines their time in the spotlight. Many expected Max to follow suite this year. Nope. April Fools’ Day doesn’t work like that (sorry to all of you still waiting on Terminal Airman comics).

Disgrunted Vets

There’s always been a healthy dose of confusion between Dysfunctional Veterans and Disgruntled Vets. The same thing happens on Reddit when people mix up Terminal_Lance and TLCplMax (Hint: the term isn’t exclusive to the webcomic).

Disgruntled Vets masterfully added to this confusion.

10th Combat Aviation Brigade

The U.S. Army has command over every realm of fighting — except one: underground.

They thought we wouldn’t notice if they took a still from a ShutterStock animation, but we did. Well played, 10th CAB. Well played.

Official Twitter of the U.S. Marine Corps

And the winner of this year’s April Fools’ Day, hands down, goes to the official Twitter of the United States Marine Corps.

While everyone was busy putting an immense amount of time into their pranks, all the Marine Corps social media team needed to do was say they were going to do just one thing like the Army and everyone lost their collective sh*t. Lucky for us, nobody ever actually reads articles on April Fools’ Day before heading to the comment section.

Whoever made this tweet is a credit to the Corps and everything it stands for. BZ.

Articles

8 resume-writing tips for veterans

I recently spoke with a recruiter from my current company and he mentioned the wide gap in quality of resumes he received from veteran applicants.


Here are eight tips to bolster your transition success. You do not need to take it as gospel, but these tips work:

1) Do not lie, omit, or embellish.

I once read honesty is being truthful with others while integrity is being truthful with yourself. Integrity and honesty are paramount in a resume. Do not say you were the Battalion Operations Officer when you were only the Assistant. The difference is large and will come out in the interview.

Do not omit certain military additional duties either. Unit Movement Officer, for example, is a powerful resume bullet, especially if you’re applying for positions in logistics, supply chain, or purchasing.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
DOD Photo by Cpl. Shawn Valosin

2) Do not de-militarize your resume.

We cannot bridge the military-civilian divide if we diminish what we’ve done during service. People going from Wall Street to manufacturing do not change their previous official positions on a resume, so you should not either.

You were not a “Mid-level Logistics Coordinator” — I “logistics coordinate” every time I do a DITY move. Sheesh. You were a “Battalion Logistics Officer (S-4),” responsible for millions dollars worth of equipment, travel funding, and other logistics needs for a high operational tempo military unit of 500-800 people.

Put quantifiable performance measures (e.g. coordinated redeployment of 800 people and associated equipment without loss; received a commendation for the exceptional performance of my team) and any recruiter will see the worthiness of your work. The interviewer will ask pointed questions so you can showcase your talents and they will learn more about the military rank structure and terminology.

3) Do showcase your talents.

If you briefed the Under Secretary of the Army or a General Officer, put that down. Your yearly efficiency reports are replete with this information. Try this format: Cause (redeployment), Action (coordinated), Effect (no loss), Reward (commendation).

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
DoD photo by John Snyder

4) Do review your resume and have someone else review it.

Bad grammar, misspelled words, or omitted words are resume killers. Use spell check on the computer, then print it out and go to town with a red-ink pen. This is the type of stuff a mentor is more than willing to do for you.

5) Do put your awards down, especially valor awards or awards for long-term meritorious service.

Simply put: Bronze Star with Valor device = Yes

MacArthur Leadership Award = Yes

Army Service Ribbon = No.

Items like a Physical Fitness Award or the Mechanics Badge should be left off unless they are relevant to the job you are seeking.

6) Do not list specific military skills, unless you’re applying for certain contracting, federal, or law enforcement jobs.

Simply put, again: CDL or foreign language proficiency = Yes

HMMWV training or marksmanship badges = No.

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses
Army photo by Sgt. Steve Peterson

7) Do list your references in this way: one superior, one peer, and one subordinate.

Imagine the power of a corporate recruiter finding that your Battalion Commander, the captain you shared a hallway with, and one of your NCOs all speak highly of you.

The combination of their views can speak wonders. Let it work for you. It shows you are a good employee, a team player, and a leader all at once. If you can only list two, list the superior and the subordinate.

8) Do make your resume a living document.

Customize it as needed for various jobs, and highlight different points accordingly. “Leadership in a high-stress environment” creates a stable framework to delve deeper into what you have accomplished. Focus on tangible, specific, quantifiable, and consistent results.

Do not think for a second that your military service will not get you the job you want. Leadership under high-stress situations comes in many forms, in training and in combat. Sell yourself. Win.

Military Life

How certain MRE items become cash money to a service member

M&Ms, cheese spread with jalapeños, and the tasty chili mac are just a few of our favorite items that are included with the famous military meal plan known as the MRE.


At first glance, these items seem to be simple and not worth a whole lot to the average non-military person.

But after servicemen and women have been deployed to a small FOB or patrol base for months, some of the items in an MRE begin to take on a whole new value.

So why are some of the highly preserved and bland tasting snacks worth so much? Well, we’re glad you asked.

Related: This is the research and development that goes into producing MREs

15 last-minute Valentine’s Day gift ideas from actual military spouses

It doesn’t look like much now, but give it a few months — it’ll look like freakin’ gold.

We trade the more popular items for other goods or services — if we don’t scarf them down first.

Like we mentioned above, a few of the items that come in the rations are tasty and sometimes hard to find. Troops have their favorites but they don’t necessarily get to choose which meal they get at chow time.

If you happen to come across a package of M&Ms and cheese spread with jalapeños, you could negotiate with a fellow troop to take one of your assigned duties in exchange for the item — it happens all the time.

 

Also Read: This is what Mongol MREs looked like

You can sometimes use an item or two to gain information.

In last decade, we’ve been in conflict with an enemy who isn’t known for their nutritious eating habits like most Americans are. In many cases, Taliban and ISIS fighters have quit their posts due to hunger.

When allied forces leave the wire for a short amount of time, we tend to bring the tasty snacks that come in the MREs, like the almond seed poppy cake or the First Strike Bar, to enjoy during a security halt.

When we come in contact with a potential bad guy who looks like they haven’t eaten in days, handing over the sweet cake could gain trust and lead to the whereabouts of a nasty IED before it goes off.

We gamble with them

When you’re on a patrol base that barely has any electricity, you have time to come up with some original games based on your environment. One of our favorites is good-natured wagers. Betting the strawberry shake you didn’t drink at lunchtime can make the game much more exciting and kill time.

Let us know what you’d barter your favorite MRE for, and check out the very first episode of Meals Ready to Eat above to see how military cuisine is created and tested in high-tech kitchens then shipped to the troops on the front lines.

Do Not Sell My Personal Information