5 of the biggest gripes about night vision goggles

The military loves to boast that we "own the night." That's mostly because we don't sleep, but it's also because we have night vision goggles. If you weren't a grunt, then your night vision was probably halfway decent. If you were a grunt, then your night vision was probably as effective as putting a green piece of plastic on the end of an empty paper towel roll.

So, if you ask one of us what it's like to use NVGs, you'll likely get an unexpected response: It sucks.

You might be asking yourself, "but aren't you guys supposed to get awesome gear?" Yeah, sure. But no one wants to pay for it.

So, they give us what they are willing to pay for, and that's why we get a set of AN/PVS-14s. A monocular (for the ASVAB waivers out there, that means it has one lens) device that, for one reason or another, doesn't want to work how or when you'd like it to.

Marines will talk sh*t about them all day, but these complaints surface most often:

Not the sun, though. The moon is the best.

(U.S. Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Gabino Perez)

They work best with natural light

This may not seem like a big deal — until you realize that a triple canopy jungle or a cloudy night sky are going to ruin any chance at having functional night vision. If you're a grunt, the night sky is always cloudy and if you have to break the tree line, which you probably should, your NVGs are going to lose most of their ability.

Un-even weight distribution

Strapping that bad boy to your helmet is like taking a big rock and taping it to the side. It feels awkward and can throw you slightly off balance, which can be especially sh*tty as you're trying to leap over ditches in the middle of the night.

They flood the hell out of your eye.

(U.S. Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Gabino Perez)

Unnatural light sources suck

If you have both eyes open (which you should) while you're wearing these bad boys and you come across a glow stick or flashlight, your eyes' sensitivity to light will be vastly different.

Your field of vision is severely reduced

If you're peering into the night with both eyes open, you'll see (hopefully) clearly with one eye, while the other is basically blind. Like we said before, it's like looking through an empty paper towel tube — which doesn't afford the best field of view.

Also, your command will give you 0 batteries.

(U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Anne K. Henry)

They eat batteries

Not literally — not like that guy in your platoon from Nebraska (you know the one). But when you go out with the NVGs, you are required to carry spare batteries, which just means tacking on a few more, precious ounces to your load.