MIGHTY CULTURE

Here are the internet's best takes on raiding Area 51

The internet has been aflutter with memes about a million-person strong raiding party headed for the U.S. government's top secret military installation commonly referred to as Area 51 for weeks now. Sure, the whole thing started as a joke, and some portions of the media lack the cultural fluency to appreciate that… but the internet hasn't, and if there's one thing the internet is good for, it's running with a joke that confuses and befuddles the older generation.


It seems like a sure thing that some poor fools that clicked "attend" on the Facebook page devoted to the Area 51 raid will actually make their way out to the extremely remote Rachel, Nevada (the closest town to Area 51) in September. It's just about certain that the media will be present as well, eager to capture shots of the turnout (or lack thereof). Whether or not anybody actually tries to make a break for the remote airstrip is yet to be seen, but it's a safe bet that no one that does will actually make it anywhere near the isolated structures. Instead, they'll likely find themselves in jail.

The reality of this fad, then, may be a bit of a bummer -- but we're still months away from the gloomy truth killing off lonesome teenager's dreams of alien girlfriends just waiting to be liberated from Uncle Sam's clutches. So let's just appreciate the memes in the meantime.

The timestamp checks out.

I'll be honest, this one wouldn't have been a contender if it weren't for the generic "College Student" account name associated with this meme. This whole Area 51 Raid fad started somewhere in the internet's nether regions (most of us call it Reddit), and this meme perfectly represents the demographic that brought this concept to the forefront of America's attention.

Put simply, this meme perfectly represents the entire subject… a bunch of college students that would much rather plan a hypothetical raid on a secret military installation than study for whatever their next exam is. Maybe this is telling about us writers too… a bunch of internet journalists that would rather write about college students planning a raid on Area 51 than focus on ongoing conflicts in the… eh, never mind.

Just don't cheat and look at my screen.

This one may just be a generational thing, but I can't be the only guy that remembers playing Halo on the original Xbox in both the dorms as a college student and in barracks as a junior Marine. The Halo franchise is legendary for a number of reasons, including how much fun it used to be to stay up all night murdering your friends with weird weapons like the Needler shown here.

All I'm saying is… if I went through all the trouble to invade Area 51, I'd hope to get a plasma cannon or two out of the deal.

Didn't we all, man.

No meme more accurately conveys the ironic humor of the entire Area 51 story than this one, starring Twitter comedian Rob Delaney in his super-ordinary looking Deadpool 2 garb. An unassuming and ordinary dude that chuckled under his breath as he came across a Facebook post about raiding Area 51 is really what this whole thing is all about… until the media came along and tried its best to turn this whole thing into a real news story.

Brrrrrrrrrrrt

This one is my absolute favorite, because, despite my allegiance to the internet's tomfoolery (it is, after all, how I make a living), I'm still every bit the salty old platoon sergeant I once was, deep beneath my softening midsection. As I've seen this meme fad develop into a news story, and that story mobilize people into thinking an actual raid is possible, part of me sort of wants to see a mob of entitled young adults storming across the dry sands of Groom Lake.

Why? Not because they'd accomplish anything, but because half of them would go down from dehydration a half mile into the march and the rest would succumb to fear after an organized force of security officers began threatening them with non-lethal weapons.

Watching a few hundred millennials get a spanking in the desert? That's worth the memes any day.