All the best military memes, distilled down to these 13 funniest.
1. Hey, a lightning strike would probably get you a decent profile for a few days, as well (via The Salty Soldier).
Just try not to get a real "dead man's profile" while you're getting struck.
2. Spraying each other with the hose isn't funny when the pressure could tear a hole in the MOPP gear (via Military Memes).
No horseplay during chemical attacks.
3. Why no American allies like American MREs:
(via Australian Warfighters)
Sorry, Australia. That stuff really messes up your down unders.
4. $15 isn't bad for custom food in the field (via Military Memes).
And you could label all your crayons, so no other Marines eat them.
5. "Sir, we're definitely walking in circles. That guy who keeps turning around ahead of us? That's our rear security."
(via Military Memes)
"Maybe if you let the fister give directions for a little bit ...."
6. Gotta keep those buoys Semper Paratus:
(via Coast Guard Memes)
Buoy tending isn't glamorous, but someone has to do it.
7. You'll never escape. There aren't even any discharge papers in that maze (via Military Memes).
Aint no discharge in the maze, ain't no discharge on the ground, ain't no discharge all around.
8. "Wouldn't it be great if there were an animal patrolling with us whose primary skill is puking hairballs and showing off its butt?"
(via Military Memes)
"No? Guess we'll stick with the one that finds bombs and kills terrorists."
9. Everyone's greatest hope during firewatch is that the drill instructor would talk to the other guard (via Team Non-Rec).
That's why the blue falcons spend the entire shift "cleaning" the head.
10. He's going to spend hours pointing out everything you did wrong (via The Salty Soldier).
Wouldn't it be great to see this dog discussing an incident with an MP military working dog? Like, I would watch a TV show of an all-dog military just dealing with random, garrison shenanigans.
11. Soldiers will make fun of you for being weak and coddled ...
(via The Salty Soldier)
... while being secretly jealous of how much you are coddled.
12. The best part is that first formation isn't until 0500 (via The Salty Soldier).
And SP is at 0900.
13. Just. Make. It. Stop. (via The Salty Soldier)
No more questions. No more "one more things."