5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever - We Are The Mighty
Humor

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

Hey, Marines!


It’s that time of year again to take your dress blues to the dry cleaners and get them ready for the Marine Corps ball. Considered the biggest night of the year, the ball is a rare opportunity to get dressed up and get completely sh*t faced with your chain of command.

It’s your time to celebrate because not many people get two legit b-days in one year.

Related: 39 awesome photos of life in the US Marine Corps infantry

But before you mount your medals, ask your date, or book your hotel room, check out our list of ways you can make this birthday the best one ever.

1. Get the hottest date you can muster

Marines are notorious for asking a celebrity to attend the Marine Corps Ball with them. Since it’s considered the biggest event in the Corps, don’t hesitate to jump on social media and ask your celebrity crush to go with you.

Here’s TMR to tell you a few steps how:


2. Challenge a superior to a dance-off

It’s not very often when a lower enlisted Marine can duke-it-out with a superior and get away with it. Think about working on your dance moves now — it’s an epic opportunity for bragging rights.

But if you sergeant major moves like this Marine, you’re probably f*cked!

Get some, Sergeant Major! (Image via Giphy)

3. Split an expensive hotel bill

Many devil dogs celebrate the Marine Corps birthday more than their own birthday. It can get pretty crazy. Since many units celebrate far away from the base, consider getting a few of your buddies to split the cost of a large hotel suite for an epic after party and dance well into the night.

Just remember to invite some girls. (Image via Giphy)

4. Study the “chest candy”

Before you pull on your dress blues, take a few extra minutes to study the Marine Corps’ ribbons and medals. It’s an interesting way of getting some background info on your superiors without asking them.

You can also feel smug if you have more combat decorations than they do…

Also Read: This is how ‘Ripley at the Bridge’ became a Marine Corps legend

5. Take photos/videos — drinking is temporary but random party pics are forever

You are most likely going to get wasted drunk either at the ball or in the hotel (not recommended — aim for that perfect buzz). Take tons of photos and video because chances are you’re not going to remember much the next day.

Having those epic memories of taking a celeb as your date, beating the sergeant major in a dance contest, and making fun of a POG staff sergeant behind their back will be well documented.

I don’t remember doing that. (Image via Giphy)WATM wishes every Marine a happy and safe birthday. SEMPER FI, MARINES!

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of June 16

Military memes are like digital morale, and we have collected the most potent 13 from this week for your pleasure.


1. Definitely going to get made fun of on the ship for that one (via Sh-t my LPO says).

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Gonna be especially tough when you get sent to different ships.

2. The Army does not know how to party (via ASMDSS).

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Soldiers do, but not the Army.

ALSO SEE: The US Navy might pull these old combat ships out of mothballs

3. In the end, only the DD-214 remains.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
At least you get to cover your truck in Eagles, Globes, and Anchors.

4. This is why socialized pay in the military is so weird:

(via Coast Guard Memes)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Remember, future enlistees, E3 pay is E3 pay is E3 pay.

5. All this for a Camaro (via Team Non-Rec).

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
A Camaro you can’t even drive when you’re stuck out at sea.

6. Double points when they want to talk about morale (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

7. “Keep on firing, buddy. I’m behind cover and my guardian angel is 3… 2… 1…” (via Weapons of Meme Destruction)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
BOOM!

8. Peace. Out. (Via Lost in the Sauce)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Find someone else to fight your war. I’m headed to college and stuff.

9. Turns out, the camouflage works better than anyone predicted (via Sh-t my LPO says).

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
This guy won the dirtbag, shammer, and hide and seek championships for this year. Triple crown!

10. All about the Benjamins, baby (via The Salty Soldier).

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
The answer is no. Thanks for the money.

11. Chiefs will avoid it at all costs (via Decelerate Your Life).

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
They’ll go so far as swim PT just to avoid it.

12. Just remember to bring something to use in exchange (via Decelerate Your Life).

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
The supply bubbas know how to get what’s theirs.

13. He can’t help you now, staff sergeant (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
College and the civilian job market don’t look so scary right before another NTC rotation.

Articles

7 things you should know before joining the infantry

There’s no shortage of heroic war stories — truth or fiction — with heavy amounts of glory and honor in them, which can cause young adults to crave certain adventures. Although serving in the infantry does bring a level of individual satisfaction, many facts tend to get left out regarding what it’s really  like to be a ground pounder.


So before you run to your local recruiting office to sign on the dotted line and become a hero or whatever, here are a few things you might need to know:

1. It’s a dangerous job

Movies do a great job depicting how dangerous war can be as directors add in cinematic kills and awesome camera work.

In real life, there’s no pulse-pounding theme music or slow motion effects — the sh*t is real.

Yes, we’re serious. (Image via Giphy)

2. You will make unbreakable relationships

Once you make a friend in the infantry, you always have that special bond no matter what.

Hopefully, you’re the “Maverick” in the relationship. (Image via Giphy)

3.  It can be really, really boring

You’ve probably heard the phrase “hurry up and wait.” In a grunt unit, everything takes more time than it should and you’re going to have plenty of down time. So make sure you have games downloaded on your smartphone to play and help you stay awake while you wait for the higher-ups to “pass the word.”

Stay awake brain. (Image via Giphy)

4. You will get to blow sh*t up

This is the best part. That is all.

3/5 Get Some! (Image via Giphy)

5. You will be made to do stupid tasks

It’s called a “working party.” This sounds way more fun than it actually is. Instead of plenty of beer and drunken coeds, you’ll be outside in the heat “police calling” cigarette butts or mopping your boss’s office.

If this looks fun, being a boot in the infantry may be your calling(Image via Giphy)

Also Read: 5 differences between Army and Marine Corps infantry

6. You will go on a lot of mandatory hikes

Whether it’s 5 miles or 25 miles, an infantryman will put on all his gear and equipment and walk the base to help get him in shape for deployment — it’s called a conditioning hike and it’s the worst.

Here’s a fun little trick, wear pantyhose under your socks to keep from ripping up your heels up. You’re welcome.

It might look weird, but it can save your feet and maybe even your life. (Image via Giphy)

7. You’ll earn yourself lifelong pride, you smug bastard.

If you manage to get through all the training, deploy to combat, and make it home safe — you will have unspoken bragging rights forever.

Smile! You’re not serving behind a desk for the next four years. (Image via Giphy)

Humor

That time JFK promised to save Santa from the Soviets

A young girl in Marine City, Mich. overheard her parents talking about Soviet aggression in the Arctic. She didn’t entirely understand what they were talking about, but her parents saying the Russians might test nuclear bombs at the North Pole was cause for concern.


What could she do, except warn the President of the United States?

It was 1961, the height of the Cold War. The very next year would prove to be the biggest test of then-President John F. Kennedy’s mettle against his Soviet adversaries — the Cuban Missile Crisis, but that was months away.

At that moment, however, 8-year-old Michelle Rochon was worried about Santa Claus and his workshop. And she wanted to make certain President Kennedy would do something about the Soviet aggression toward the world’s jolliest elf.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Even if he had to go handle it personally.

“I knew nuclear bombs were bad. And if they were testing them at the North Pole, what was Santa going to do?” said Michelle in a phone interview with CBC News. “I just automatically thought I have to write [the President] and maybe he can do something about it.”

Her letter read:

Dear Mr. Kennedy,

 

Please stop the Russians from bombing the North Pole because they will kill Santa Claus.

I am 8 years old. I am in the third grade at Holy Cross School.

 

Yours truly,

Michelle Rochon.

She put the letter in the mailbox, addressed only to “President Kennedy, Washington, D.C.”

To her surprise, the President not only received the letter, but published a photo of him reading it. Her letter became nationwide news. And then, a few weeks later, a letter on White House stationery came in the mail for young Michelle.

(JFK Library | YouTube)

In case you don’t want to watch the video, this was the President’s reply:

Dear Michelle,

 

I was glad to get your letter about trying to stop the Russians from bombing the North Pole and risking the life of Santa Claus.

I share your concern about the atmospheric testing of the Soviet Union, not only for the North Pole but for countries throughout the world; not only for Santa Claus but for people throughout the world.

However, you must not worry about Santa Claus. I talked with him yesterday and he is fine. He will be making his rounds again this Christmas.

 

Sincerely,

John Kennedy

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Getting a reply from the President made her national news again.

Little Michelle was elated.

“All I understood was that he talked to Santa Claus and he was fine and he’d be coming around this Christmas,” she said. “President Kennedy said so. So, everything was good.”

Articles

How to make a movie theater with your smartphone on deployment

Being on deployment in a dangerous region means being away from your family. Most service members play soccer, read old magazines and smoke a lot of butts.


It’s not like you’re allowed to leave the FOB to hit the mall and catch a movie.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Here’s the old school way of watching movies. (Source: Out of Regs)

But you’re in luck, we’re going to show to how to craft a home theater out of some native materials and your smartphone.

Related: 7 things every Marine needs before deploying

Here’s the supplies you’ll need:

  • a shoebox or a regular box
  • X-Acto knife or bayonet
  • a pencil or pen
  • scissors
  • a magnifying glass
  • tape and/or glue
  • smartphone

Step 1: Place the magnifying glass in the center outside of the shoebox and trace around it with the pencil making a circular stencil.

Step 2: Use the X-Acto knife to cut out the traced magnifying stencil, then pop out the excess cardboard. Cut the lid or it will hang down over the magnifying glass.

Step 3: Insert a clean magnifying glass into the cut hole and secure it down with tape or glue.

(Note: paint the inside of the box with polish or black paint)

Step 4: Use the excess cardboard to make a smartphone stand.

Step 5: Invert your smartphone screen through the settings app then lock the screen on.

Step 6: Place your smartphone in the box, on the stand and place the lid on as usual.

Step 7: You can adjust focus by sliding the phone while it’s on the stand inside the box.

Step 8: Enjoy your favorite movies.

Also Read: 8 things Marines love to carry other than their weapon

(TechBuilder, YouTube)What other deployment hacks have you heard of? Comment below?
Humor

8 reasons you want Commander Riker to be your CO

We all have that officer we served with (or under) that we absolutely adore. We would follow them to the gates of hell or go there ourselves if they so ordered us. But, look: No one gives orders like Commander William T. Riker.


5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Riker isn’t taking anyone’s sh*t. Least of all, yours.

This is why you should want Picard’s “number one” to be your number one.

8. He’s genuinely a nice dude.

He doesn’t bitch when his officers call him by his first name. He remembers all his crews’ names. He’s best friends with his ex-girlfriend. He goes to his friends’ poetry readings. He even plays the trombone for people.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

I mean, for a guy with so much to do as the first officer of a flagship, you wonder where he gets the energy.

7. He had a beard when it wasn’t even in regs.

How many beards do you see on Star Trek? Any show in the series. Go ahead and look – it’s not many. When you do see them, most of the time, they’re only for flag officers. Meanwhile, Riker grew his out almost immediately. He sure as hell wasn’t going to wait ’til he had a DD-214.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Operator AF.

6. Will Riker will not be tempted by a Fat Leonard.

All the officers who were seduced by the real Fat Leonard are getting off relatively light (especially considering how the enlisted people are getting the book thrown at them), and it’s the U.S. Navy who suffers. Commander William T. Riker has no use for hookers and champagne.

Related: 5 of the most ridiculous things naval officers did with ‘Fat Leonard’

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Damn right. He gets his own.

When the omnipotent alien called ‘Q’ tried to give Riker the powers of a god, Riker told him to f*ck off. Will Riker will make Captain on his own, dammit.

5. Everything bad happens to him and he’s somehow okay.

Riker had to kick his estranged father’s ass to be okay with his childhood. He was abducted by aliens who cut off his arm. Actually, he was abducted a few times. His first posting was a mutiny that resulted in the loss of the ship, he was in a transporter accident that basically duplicated him, he was infected with a parasite that turned him into a spy… The list goes on.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
That wasn’t even the worst injury he had that day.

But Will Riker always shows up for work the next day with a clean slate. And he owns it.

4. He’s just like any other sailor.

Make no bones about it, Riker likes to drink, dance, and get down (you know what I mean). He’s a man’s man — so much so that his only real relationship had to be with a female who could read his emotions because he’s not giving anything but a wink and a smile.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Fine by us.

He has 20 years in service and he still goes on shore leave to a place literally known as a “pleasure planet.”

3. Riker is 100 percent about equal opportunity.

He loves all beings, regardless of gender, race, and even androgyny. Even a robot or two.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Do it boldly.

I’m pretty sure he’s fine with women in combat and openly transgender Starfleet officers. He may have some trouble with the Military Equal Opportunity office, though.

2. His goddamned awesome command presence.

Nothing says, “I am confident in my ability to lead” like swinging your leg over the back of any given chair to sit down.

You know why it looks so f*cking awesome? Because he looks like a cowboy mounting up on a horse for some adventure.

1. He’s going to bring his sailors home.

There’s a reason this redshirt leads away missions and still lives. Over the seven seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation, only 57 Enterprise crew members were killed and only 14 of those died on Riker-led away missions — and they usually got the bad guy in the end.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Light ’em up.

Articles

17 images that perfectly show the misery of returning your gear

Over the past few days, you’ve been collecting exit signatures for your check-out sheet, and low and behold, you’re almost home. The process has been relatively straightforward up until this point.


The last item you need to get signed off is from the Central Issue Facility, or supply, where you need to check in all of your gear. Supply is one of the last stops a service member makes before obtaining their official DD-214.

Sounds easy enough, right?

Wrong. If one aspect of your gear is not check-in ready, integrating back into civilian population will be delayed.

Related: 17 images that show why going to the armory sucks

So check out our list of what it typically takes to check in your gear and move on with your life.

(This is based on many true stories)

1. What it looks like when you’re on your way to the central issue on a Friday afternoon.

Oh, come on. (Images via Giphy)

2.When you walk inside and all you see are other troops waiting in a long a** line.

There’s too many to count. (Images via Giphy)

3. To add insult to injury, everyone who works there looks slow and grumpy.

Why do I hate life? (Images via Giphy)

4. After waiting what felt like an eternity, you finally haul your heavy gear over to the counter and begin the checkout process.

So heavy. (Images via Giphy)

5. You make it to the counter, and just as your morale has been boosted, you realized you’re at the slowest worker’s section.

Please, hurry the f*ck up! (Images via Giphy)

6. The clerk starts to review all your gear, pulling everything out piece-by-piece — most of which you never used.

And we mean most things. (Images via Giphy)

7. After completing the inventory, the clerk finds an issue with your almost squared away paperwork. All of your gear is clean enough to pass, but there’s a missing signature.

No way freakin’ way. (Images via Giphy)

8. Your superior officer’s signature is missing for an expensive piece of gear which got destroyed while you were deployed. The clerk informs you that you can either pay for it yourself or get the signature before you can get out of the military.

You can’t believe what you’re hearing.

I ain’t paying for sh*t. (Images via Giphy)

9. You speed back to your company HQ to find your CO.

Pedal to the metal. (Images via Giphy)

10. You dash into the HQ in search of the man or woman who can set you free.

Where are they? (Images via Giphy)

11. You find your superior, he or she signs the paperwork and then your emotions take over.

This may be wrong but it feels right. (Images via Giphy)

12. Now that you got your signature, it’s time to head back to central issue.

Almost to the finish line. (Images via Giphy)

13. You get back the central issue building and attempt to eyeball the person who helped you earlier to avoid waiting in line again.

Look at me. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: 33 images that perfectly portray your first 96-hour liberty

15. It worked. The clerk spots you and waves you over. You hand her the signed paperwork, she looks it over and now you wait.

The anticipation grows. (Images via Giphy)

16. The clerk slowly stamps your paperwork. You’re clear.

You want to get mad, but you can’t at this point. (Images via Giphy)

17. You did it! Now go get your DD-214 and move on with your life.

Five years of college here I come. (Images via Giphy)

Humor

The 13 funniest memes for the week of June 15th

Looks like troops will stop doing drills in South Korea and actually be pulled out of there. Great. Now every unit is going to get some Joe who was just stationed there that’ll constantly complain about how “South Korea was so much better” than their new unit — despite constantly talking sh*t while there.

It’s always the same lower-enlisted troop. You know the type. They’ll show up just barely in time for First Sergeant to call “fall in,” they’ll be hungover and smell like cigarettes at every formation, and it’s almost a guarantee that they’ll defend their sh*tty actions with a limp, “well, in my last unit…”

Have fun with that, NCOs. No one will blame you for tree-line counseling those fools.


5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Meme via Amuse)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)

Mindless detail where you can joke with your buddies or being stuck in a training meeting, listening to how the good idea fairy will reshape the unit?

Tough call.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

NCOs’ eyes are like the dinosaurs’. They can’t see you unless you move.

I learned it from Jurassic Park, so it has to be true.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Meme via Valhalla Wear)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Meme via ASMDDS)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Meme via Gunner Boy)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Meme via Military Memes)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

There’s a massive difference between being a “five-jump chump” and having your mustard stain.

Which basically cuts out every staff officer who wanted to impress the commander.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Meme via the Salty Soldier)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Meme via Pop Smoke)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Meme via Pop Smoke)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Humor

The 13 funniest memes for the week of Nov. 3

What happened this week in the military? No. Really. What happened??


Bergdahl will walk free. The actual Green Berets are trying stop green berets from being issued to other soldiers. A judge halted the President’s ban on transgender soldiers. These are incredibly polarizing issues for the U.S. military and its veterans.

You know what isn’t polarizing? Memes.

And here are the dankest memes from the veteran world this week.

1. Betsy Ross is playing with fire.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
#triggered

2. Trim those sideburns, soldier. (via People of the PX)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
AAFES: When you need a haircut, a pizza, and a TV in a 20 minutes.

3. But he’s paying 26% interest on that Nissan. (via Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
I suddenly can’t live without something I didn’t know existed.

Now Read: The 7 best military stories from the days of Unsolved Mysteries 

4. Charlie Sheen has a Google Alert for this.  (via Decelerate Your Life)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

5. Gear adrift is a gift.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Filthy little Hobbitses are such geardos.

6. Every one thinks they’re a foreign policy expert.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

Check out: This is the only living African-American from WWII to earn the Medal of Honor

7. Veterans know leadership. (via U.S. Army WTF Moments)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Must promote.

8. In the Army, Forrest Gump is considered a genius.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
My DD-214 and I are like peas and carrots.

9. “Welcome to Fort Bragg”

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
But they threw in the undercoating for free.

10. A good king leads his troops from the front.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
As real as Air Force leadership gets.

11. Crew chiefs get their name on the plane for a reason.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Oh, I understood that reference!

12. Now we both have a machine gun. Ho Ho Ho. (via the Salty Soldier)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

Now Read: 8 useless pieces of gear the military still issues out

13. Getting that first job after separating is tough.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Also, records management.

Humor

14 movies that made you want to join the military

Every so often Hollywood makes a military movie that’s so compelling in the eyes of the audience that it helps shape how they view the world. War stories in general display how dangerous life can be for those serving on active duty — mostly in the infantry.


But from time-to-time, some minor aspect of these films call out to movie-goers and motivate them to serve.

So we asked several veterans what movies made them want to join the armed forces and here’s what they told us.

Related: 7 awesome weapon arsenals in the movies

Here’s the breakdown:

1. Black Hawk Down

The brotherhood the men had with one another was outstanding. Leave no man behind.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Sgt. Eversman listens in on the radio. (Source: Colombia/Screenshot)

2. Full Metal Jacket

Maybe veterans became curious if they could make it through Marine boot camp after watching the film.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Gunny Hartman instructing his recruits. (Source: WB/Screenshot)

3. Mulan

She sacrificed herself for her father and her country.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
(Source: Buena Vista/ YouTube/ Screenshot)

4. Top Gun

Most men wanted to join the Navy and become fighter pilots after watching Maverick work his tactical magic.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Jesters dead! (Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

5. The Dirty Dozen

They were badass and didn’t take sh*t. Many veterans joined to have that image of being badass.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
They all look so freakin’ awesome. (Source: MGM/Screenshot)

6. Hunt for Red October

The film made being stationed on a sub look intense and exciting.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Captain Marko Ramius welcomes a boarding party from the USS Dallas aboard the Red October (Source: Paramount/YouTube/Screenshot)

7. A Few Good Men

The discipline the two Marines had on trial was outstanding.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
He wants the truth! (Source: /Screenshot)

8. Schindler’s List

The film showed terrible brutality, and many Americans joined the service to fight for those who can’t fight for themselves.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Oskar Schindler speaks with corrupt Nazi soldier Amon Goeth (Source: Universal/Screenshot)

9. Enemy at the Gates

In order to be the best, you have to go up against the best. Which is what Russian sniper Vasily Zaytsev had to do during the Battle of Stalingrad.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Source: Paramount)

10. The Delta Force

Chuck Norris made being an operator look even more freaking cool — if that’s even possible.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Chuck Norris always gets his man. (Source: Cannon /Screenshot)

11. We Were Soldiers

The film inspired countless people because of the bravery of the men and leadership of Lt. Col. Moore.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

12. Pvt. Benjamin

Many veterans watched the film as kids and respected her fight after no one believed in her — but her.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
(Source: WB/Screenshot)

13. Saving Private Ryan

Some saw the Rangers who searched for Pvt. Ryan as the ultimate team and showed a cohesive military unit with a normal leader.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Heading in to storm the beach. (Source: DreamWorks/Screenshot)

14. Deer Hunter

The filmed showed brotherly love. Many civilians respect that and want that in their lives.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Playing Russian roulette with a loaded revolver. (Source: /Screenshot)

What movies made you want to join the military? Comment below.

Humor

5 things recruits screw up the most in boot camp

The majority of recruits who ship out to boot camp are just a few months removed from graduating high school. They are, for the most part, still pretty wet behind the ears and haven’t had experience with the amount of structure they’re about to be exposed to.


We get it — recruits are flustered upon entering the intense world of boot camp. Don’t feel too bad; many newbies these make simple mistakes during their initial training.

Related: 5 ways troops always screw up a simple formation

1. Forgetting their lefts and rights

It’s a simple mistake, but in boot camp, any time is a crappy time to have a brain fart.

 

2. Not shaving properly

The military instills the value of paying close attention to detail. Leaving one, single hair uncut before a boot camp inspection is, in fact, a big deal. However, it’s not unheard of for the military to teach classes for those newbies who have never been clean-shaven before.

3. Not hydrating enough

Drinking water is one of the most important elements to staying healthy. Unfortunately, many recruits are so used to pounding sodas and energy drinks that they tend to forego water and end up falling out of simple hikes.

It’s probably because they don’t like the taste of high-quality H2O.

Also Read: 6 dumb things veterans lie about on the internet

4. Calling their drill sergeant “sir”

Unless you’re in Marine boot camp, where the first and last thing out of your mouth must be “sir,” you should always address your training instructors by their rank or proper title.

In the event you call one of them “sir,” you’re probably going to get the same response:

“Don’t call me, ‘sir.’ I work for a living.”

5. Taking a dump during morning clean up

Recruits are responsible for cleaning their squad bays and restrooms every day.  There’s always one person who has to use the “head” during cleanup or right afterward.

Nobody will like that recruit — at least not for the rest of the day.

Humor

5 of the worst things about mail drops

Being forward deployed means you’re pretty much cut off from the rest of the world. You don’t have all the stateside luxuries, like continuous electricity, internet, and cell phone service.


If you’re stationed at a patrol base in Afghanistan, you could be up to 5,000 miles away from home — if not more. So, the only connection you have with the world back home is when the big mail truck comes around, delivering hand-written letters and Maxim magazines.

But if getting mail is so badass, what could be so bad about receiving it? Well, we’re glad you asked.

Related: 5 important rules every grunt should follow in a foot patrol

1. Things get lost in transit

Like we said earlier, depending on where you’re stationed, mail could have to travel more than 5,000 miles. This means that, somewhere along the line, your mail could get lost or stolen.

Yes, we said stolen. Unless the mail is air-dropped, the enemy has been known to strike allied convoys and damage the trucks that could be carrying your precious Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition.

So, that sucks.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
(Photo by Sgt. Jessica Webb)

2. The mailmen can get super serious — for no reason

We’re not sure if it’s the crowd that quickly surrounds the mail truck that gets the mailmen upset or the fact that coordinating the maildrop is the only momentary power they get, but the delivery guys get super serious when calling out the names addressed on care packages.

We just can’t figure out why.

3. Don’t expect your stuff not to be damaged

Over the course of the thousands of miles mail travels, when it gets sorted, it gets tossed around like it’s no big deal. Since it’s not the sorter’s mail, they really couldn’t care less what happens it for the most part.

So, packages get damaged.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
Mail comes in as fast as it goes out.

4. Not everyone gets mail

The truth is, not every service member has a family back home for them to get stuff from. It’s a good thing there are charities out there who collect items and ship them to as many deployed service members as they can.

Also Read: 6 useful pieces of gear rarely on your packing list

5. Getting a “Dear John” letter

Yeah. This happens more than you think. She’s leaving you for your brother.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever
John Tyree (Channing Tatum) reads his Dear John letter, which sucks. (Photo from Sony/Screen Gems’ Dear John)

Humor

The 13 funniest memes for the week of May 11th

Things are starting to look up! The sun is shining, relations in Korea are mending; nothing could ruin this fantastic — dammit… Thanks a lot, Iran. Can’t you guys take a hint from Kim Jong-un and chill the F out?


I assume that, by now, we’ve all seen Avengers: Infinity War, right? We don’t have to look over our shoulders before talking about it? Cool. Well, here’s an obligatory spoiler warning for all three of you who haven’t yet seen one of the highest grossing films of all time and might get upset over the use of an out-of-context meme that’s been making the rounds.

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(The Salty Soldier)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

This isn’t the spoiler. This one’s from the trailers. That spoilers come at the end.

(Decelerate Your Life)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Pop Smoke)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Air Force Nation)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(WATM)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Army as F*ck)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(The Salty Soldier)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Pop Smoke)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Sh*t My LPO Says)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Pop Smoke)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(WATM)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(Lost in the Sauce)

5 tips to have the best Marine Corps birthday ever

(WATM)


Do Not Sell My Personal Information