9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops - We Are The Mighty
Humor

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

Being deployed on a FOB in the military means you don’t have much interaction with the outside world. Although news travels fast here in the states, it can roll in at a snail’s pace while you’re manning your area of observance.


During this time, regular mail becomes a very precious commodity.

But once that beautiful armored mail truck comes rolling on in, your emotions can roller coaster as you realize you just don’t know what you’re going to be opening up in those care packages or letters. #jodiisreal

Related: 12 images that perfectly recall checking into your unit for the first time

So check out how important mail drops to those serving in the military.

1. After weeks of not getting any care packages or letters from home, a rumor spreads throughout the FOB that the mail truck is finally inbound.

We hope it’s true. (Images via Giphy)

2. Then a miracle occurs. Everyone in the FOB hears the roaring of the truck’s diesel engines entering the vehicle control point. The rumors must be true.

Do you see it? (Images via Giphy)

3. The mail truck pulls up and starts unloading all the packages and letters from its cargo bay. The platoon’s corporals yell out the names addressed on them one-by-one — you’re just waiting.

Any second now. (Images via Giphy)

4. Your name finally gets called! But you don’t want to look too happy because some of your boys haven’t gotten sh*t yet.

Hold the happiness back just a little longer. (Images via Giphy)

5. They continue to call your name over and over again. Somebody back home must love you.

Thanks, grandma. (Images via Giphy)

6. You find a quiet little corner, rip open your packages, and conduct a detailed inventory of your new stuff.

Yes! Cigarettes, Redbull, and dip! (Images via Giphy)

7. While you’re so excited to have all these new goodies, you noticed one of your buddies didn’t get sh*t this time around.

What a dilemma. (Images via Giphy)

8. You know what you must now do. First, you quietly pocket the stuff you want to keep, then dump the rest into a community bin for your platoon to share.

Your heroic slow clap. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: 17 images that perfectly show the misery of returning your gear

9. You look over to your platoon sergeant and he gives you his seal of approval.

What were your mail drops like? Comment below.

Articles

These 17 hilarious reviews of MREs from troops in the field will bring back memories

If there’s one thing the DoD can count on soldiers to be bluntly honest about, it’s the food. In 2005, 400 soldiers from Fort Greely, Alaska, were asked to taste test a new menu of Meals, Ready to Eat for anything that might stand out to them.


There were a lot of standouts.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Fort Greely is one of the coldest places in the U.S. military. This is how they warm up. Probably. (U.S. Army photo by Staff Sgt. Daniel Love)

Fort Greely’s finest filled out the evaluation forms, which were then compiled and sent to the DoD office that manages the procurement of field rations. Grunts don’t pull punches. That’s kinda the whole point of their job.

The main result was that U.S. troops got new MREs. Luckily for us, the Smoking Gun got their hands on the actual reviews and some of the comments are gold.

1. Shakespeare:

“Cheese spread with bread is never a liked mix. Anger is usually the result.”

2. The prophet:

“I noticed this meal # was 666…I will probably die of a massive heart attack thank you for feeding me possessed food.”

3. The skeptic:

“This donut is just a brownie in a circle with crappy “frosting” what are you trying to pull?”

4. The poet:

“I believe it was the dinner meal that caused this (Chicken and Dumplings), but it sounded like a flatulence symphony in my tent all night.”

5. The biographer:

“I have disliked cabbage since childhood.”

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

6. The drama queen:

“Oh my god what were you thinking… don’t give cabbage to a soldier ever again even POWs deserve better.”

7. The fortune teller:

“The entree will only be eaten if you haven’t eaten all day.”

8. The PR Rep:

“Maybe change the name ‘Chicken Loaf,’ [it] scares me.”

9. PFC Gung Ho:

“Put Ranch Dressing on everything! Airborne!”

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

10. The guy who’s wrong about everything:

“F*ck hot sauce [put] gummy bears inside.”

11. Sgt. WTF:

“Tabasco is good in your coffee.”

12. The Obvious Sapper:

“Change the Ranger bar name to ‘Sapper Bar'”

13. The Stream of Consciousness:

“5 Veg ravioli ‘friggin’ sucks. Spiced apple ‘friggin’ rock. Apple cinn. Pound cake taste like cheap perfume. (Friggin). Is chocoletto a foreign Name crap? Pizza anything friggin rocks! Gum is good.”

14. Staff Sgt. TMI:

“This new menu has me using the latrine 3x a day.”

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
The Post-MRE Experience we all know.

15. Sgt. Maj. No Chance:

“Please bring back cigarettes.”

16. Pvt. Ungrateful:

“Jerky is very, very good. How many years did it take to figure that out?”

17. Sgt. Missing the Point:

“The name should be fiesta breakfast party. That would be funny.”

“The vanilla pudding is so good I ripped it open, Licked the inside and rolled around on top of it like a dog. I prefer not to eat anything called loaf but in this case I made an exception… thank god I DID.”

Articles

17 images that perfectly show the misery of returning your gear

Over the past few days, you’ve been collecting exit signatures for your check-out sheet, and low and behold, you’re almost home. The process has been relatively straightforward up until this point.


The last item you need to get signed off is from the Central Issue Facility, or supply, where you need to check in all of your gear. Supply is one of the last stops a service member makes before obtaining their official DD-214.

Sounds easy enough, right?

Wrong. If one aspect of your gear is not check-in ready, integrating back into civilian population will be delayed.

Related: 17 images that show why going to the armory sucks

So check out our list of what it typically takes to check in your gear and move on with your life.

(This is based on many true stories)

1. What it looks like when you’re on your way to the central issue on a Friday afternoon.

Oh, come on. (Images via Giphy)

2.When you walk inside and all you see are other troops waiting in a long a** line.

There’s too many to count. (Images via Giphy)

3. To add insult to injury, everyone who works there looks slow and grumpy.

Why do I hate life? (Images via Giphy)

4. After waiting what felt like an eternity, you finally haul your heavy gear over to the counter and begin the checkout process.

So heavy. (Images via Giphy)

5. You make it to the counter, and just as your morale has been boosted, you realized you’re at the slowest worker’s section.

Please, hurry the f*ck up! (Images via Giphy)

6. The clerk starts to review all your gear, pulling everything out piece-by-piece — most of which you never used.

And we mean most things. (Images via Giphy)

7. After completing the inventory, the clerk finds an issue with your almost squared away paperwork. All of your gear is clean enough to pass, but there’s a missing signature.

No way freakin’ way. (Images via Giphy)

8. Your superior officer’s signature is missing for an expensive piece of gear which got destroyed while you were deployed. The clerk informs you that you can either pay for it yourself or get the signature before you can get out of the military.

You can’t believe what you’re hearing.

I ain’t paying for sh*t. (Images via Giphy)

9. You speed back to your company HQ to find your CO.

Pedal to the metal. (Images via Giphy)

10. You dash into the HQ in search of the man or woman who can set you free.

Where are they? (Images via Giphy)

11. You find your superior, he or she signs the paperwork and then your emotions take over.

This may be wrong but it feels right. (Images via Giphy)

12. Now that you got your signature, it’s time to head back to central issue.

Almost to the finish line. (Images via Giphy)

13. You get back the central issue building and attempt to eyeball the person who helped you earlier to avoid waiting in line again.

Look at me. (Images via Giphy)

Also Read: 33 images that perfectly portray your first 96-hour liberty

15. It worked. The clerk spots you and waves you over. You hand her the signed paperwork, she looks it over and now you wait.

The anticipation grows. (Images via Giphy)

16. The clerk slowly stamps your paperwork. You’re clear.

You want to get mad, but you can’t at this point. (Images via Giphy)

17. You did it! Now go get your DD-214 and move on with your life.

Five years of college here I come. (Images via Giphy)

Humor

7 worst times to have a negligent discharge

Service members do their jobs in some pretty stressful environments. From patrolling in a deadly combat zone to saying your final good-byes at a military funeral — it can be intense.


At most military functions, there will most likely be someone present who is carrying a loaded weapon, whether it’s blanks or live ammunition.

With stress levels reaching a high peak, the last thing people want to hear is the negligent discharge  — or ND — of a firearm.

Related: 17 images that perfectly show the misery of returning your gear

Check out our list of the worst times to have a negligent discharge:

7. At a funeral detail

Many military funerals have a 21-gun salute waiting fire at a specific time during the ceremony. Interrupting the service by having one of the riflemen accidentally discharge their weapon before they’re supposed to would be less than ideal, to say the least.

Everyone tends to jump a little even when the rifles are fired at the correct time.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

6. During a foreign military weapons inspection

We advise and work alongside many foreign countries’ militaries throughout the world. When you’re trying to build and/or maintain relationships, there’s nothing more cancerous than having an ND occur to set everyone on edge.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
BANG. *Laughs in German* (Source: DoD)

5. Right before stepping out on a stressful foot patrol

The primary mission of allied foot patrol is to make contact with the opposition. When a trooper accidentally taps the trigger of a weapon that’s no longer on “safe,” some very crappy things can follow.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
BANG. *Angry Looks*  (Source: Army.mil)

4. While handling business in a porta-sh*tter

Many troops are required to carry loaded sidearms on their hip. Having a negligent discharge while you’re taking care of business can lead to a messy result.

Oh, and you can shoot yourself.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
BANG. Just Bang. Any other sounds effects would be disgust– *gag*

3. Inside an up-armored vehicle

Armored vehicles are designed to keep the bad guys’ bullets from entering the cabin. That’s pretty obvious, right?

Having an ND go off inside the vehicle is really bad as the bullet will ricochet until it loses speed. Hopefully, it doesn’t land inside of one your buddies.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
BANG PING PING PING PING PING PING PING PING

2. In the “CoC”

The “Center of Communication” is the artery for directing the troops on the ground. If an ND were to occur inside, that live round could kill a troop or damage some important computerized gear.

On second thought, just clear all your weapon systems before entering.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
BANG. *Crickets*

Also Read: 33 images that perfectly portray your first 96-hour liberty

1. In a crowded Afghan Bazaar

Afganistan is considered one of the most dangerous battlegrounds in the world. The already intense energy in the area can quickly become deadly in a blink of an eye. A negligent discharge could launch an entire battle — or worse.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
BANG… rattattatbangbangbangbangbanghissssssssBOOOOOOOOOOM

Bonus: During Bowe Bergdahl’s trial

Do we really need to explain why this is a super bad time for an ND?

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
No bang. Just don’t.

Humor

5 struggles those who wore BCGs will remember

Ah, the beloved and well-remembered basic combat glasses, the “S9” frames. Generations of American warfighters were warmly welcomed into the military with these fashionable spectacles.


Except not. More commonly known as “birth control glasses,” these things were basically two Coke bottles bound with mud-colored wire.

Here are 5 things troops got to experience while wearing the Devil’s eyewear:

1. The instant weird looks and laughs from other recruits

 

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
(Photo: U.S. Air Force Staff Sgt. Stacy L. Pearsall)

Most recruits look and feel awkward their first time sporting an Army haircut or lumbering around in a brand new pair of combat boots. But the next level of awkwardness was reserved for the wearers of BCGs.

This always led to jokes among fellow trainees, at least until drill sergeant showed up. That’s when everyone fell silent — so that drill sergeant could get his jokes in.

2. Permanently obscured vision thanks to the range day

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
(Photo: U.S. Marine Corps Sgt. Katelyn Hunter)

In basic training, everyone is trained to hold their weapon the same way during marksmanship training. Recruits have to place their faces to the rifle the same way every time to make them more accurate. So, everyone is ordered to hold the weapon with their nose to the charging handle.

The problem is, this places the rear sight close to the BCGs for many shooters. The rear sight sometimes scratches the glasses during training and, after a few times at the firing positions, BCG wearers leave with a scuffed section of glass at the bottom of their field of vision in their dominant eye.

3. The constant fogging during smoke sessions and marches

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
(Photo: U.S. Air Force Tech. Sgt. Michael R. Holzworth)

Marching through dusty trails, doing pushups until it “rains” inside, and conducting mountain climbers all cause basic trainees to sweat heavily. This sweat quickly condenses on the lenses of BCGs, creating a thick fog. After a while, sweat droplets fall on the lens as well. This gets rid of the fog but makes it look like everything is underwater instead.

4. Basic training photos that not even a mother could love (though some hipsters might)

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
(Photo: U.S. Marine Corps Sgt. Mark Fayloga)

Basic training photos only appeal to a few people, typically the recruit’s mother and grandmother. But unless they got a sympathetic photographer who let them remove their glasses, those rocking the BCGs were doomed to photos that even a mother would only put up as a joke.

Most trainees got a kind-of-lame, posed photo from basic. The four-eyed folks got a punchline that their family would bring up during every Christmas block leave for the rest of their life.

5. Duct tape repairs actually made them look better

While most glass wearers dreaded having to make cheap repairs with duct tape, BCG people knew that dropping their frames in strategic ways led to a silver covering for those awful brown frames. Yup, those cheap repairs were an improvement over the stock model.

Unfortunately for newer and future troops, the military has gotten rid of S9s, the old basic combat glasses, and opted for a more modern look, the 5A frame. So, the community of birth control glasses wearers is now closed.

These are the new 5As that basic trainees are issued:

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
(Photo: U.S. Army Melissa K. Buckley)

 

They’re actually . . . dare we say it . . . stylish. Alas, it’s the end of an era.

Humor

What it’s like having a submarine crash into your ship

A U.S. Marine stationed aboard any Naval vessel enjoys a lifestyle very similar to that of cargo. Marines are often sequestered to their color coordinated quarters (ours were red) where they sleep in coffin racks, are given a small window of time to utilize the gym, and in some cases even have separate hours for chow.


All of these measures actually have a purpose, and that is to keep green side (Marines) and blue side (Navy) separate.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
USS New Orleans. Not pictured: Sailor and Marine rivalries.

However, there are jobs Marines can be volunteered for, jobs involving laundry, trash, and foodservice. Lucky enough for this young leatherneck, having a culinary degree puts you to work aboard the U.S.S. New Orleans in the galley.

So there I was, a twenty-two year old Corporal with a culinary degree being put to work as leader of the night shift aboard a navy vessel. There were no sailors under my charge, which I found to be slightly condescending, but that’s of no consequence. On my team there were no less than three infantry Marines with zero cooking experience and one supply Marine from Baton Rouge, LA, which is plenty of cooking experience on its own. We were tasked with prepping the next days lunch and dinner meals, baking fresh bread, and preparing and serving breakfast.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
USS Hartford (the villain of this story).

Unbeknownst to my crew and me, a U.S. submarine submerged at periscope depth in the straight of Hormuz was soon to make its move. The U.S.S. Hartford is a Los Angeles class Navy submarine that had a date with destiny in the form of a San Antonio class amphibious transport dock ship, the U.S.S. New Orleans. After 63 days at sea, it would seem that the crew of the Hartford had had enough and decided to break up the monotony with a little fender bender.

Related: This is what life is like for sailors on a US Navy submarine

Meanwhile aboard the New Orleans in the ship’s galley were five Marines working diligently. I remember quite vividly the jarring vibration of a f**king submarine crashing into a war ship, causing a mess. I was making pancakes at the time (and none were lost — not bragging just saying).

An infantry Corporal came running in asking if I could spare one of my guys, who happened to be one of his junior Marines. I calmly approved and the Corporal decided to start screaming at his young troop to get his weapon and gear because we were under attack. The young Marine yelled back, “Yes Corporal!” before running to his quarters.

He soon returned, showcasing his, “I thought I was finally going to get to shoot my rifle in combat” face of disappointment. The rest of the crew replied with laughter and taunts.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Hartford vs. New Orleans

One of our battalion’s intel Marines informed us that our theories — we hit a whale, we ran aground, we were attacked by pirates — were not only incorrect, but the hapless ramblings of the simple-minded. He then told us we would not be allowed to call out or use the internet, that all coms were being controlled, and that we were hit by our own submarine. We took him seriously until that last part.

After breakfast was ready and the crew sat down to eat in the ship’s mess area, we turned on the television for some news. We were surprised to see that not only was everything intel said true, but also that we had leaked around 25,000 gallons of diesel fuel into the straights. We ended up dry-docking the ship on an island off the coast of Saudi Arabia known as Bahrain.

Beautiful location, lots of black flags — if you’ve never been, I don’t recommend it.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Dry docked Hartford.

After six weeks of dry dock repairs, the New Orleans was back in the ocean ready for duty. It was determined that the incident was solely the fault of the Hartford and its Captain, who was relieved of command along with others. Damages to the New Orleans totaled $2.3 million dollars, which may seem like a lot until compared with the $120 million dollar price tag attached to the Hartford repairs.

I actually had a beer with one of the crew of the U.S.S. Hartford. We compared stories of the incident in which he shared with me that the submarine spun like a football — nearly 90 degrees in the water (a lot for a sub). The collision trashed the entire ship and administered one of the most jarring wake-up calls in U.S. naval history.

Humor

The 13 funniest military memes for the week of March 23rd

The good news is that the government isn’t getting shut down and the military is getting a 2.4 percent pay raise.


The bad news is that the military now has to literally fight everyone everywhere.

But, before you deploy, check out these memes.

1. When your E-3 friends have an opinion. (via Decelerate Your Life)

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

2.  “They don’t even have a salad bar!” (via Pop Smoke)

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

3. But what about all those Army wives? (via Untied Status Marin Crops)

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Life finds a way.

4. That’s why she’s a teacher and you’re… you. (via Air Force amn/nco/snco)

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Small victories.

5. He should get closer to some coast.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

6. Everyone is turned on by A-10s.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

7. That’s what “Rescue Swimmer” aftershave is for. (via Coast Guard Memes)

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Stay turnt.

8. The Coast Guard will be first to say… (via The Claw of Knowledge)

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Space Guard BMs will learn to fight in zero-G.

9. Don’t ask questions if you don’t want the answer.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
The white also means no.

10. With MREs, it took a lot to get there. (via Why I’m Not Re-Enlisting)

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Now let me tell you what we did with them…

 

11. Too bad there can only be one.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
And it outranks you.

 

12. Depends on your definition of “wrecking,” but ok.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Too bad their kids’ kids will try to kill you.

 

13. When your heart isn’t at war with your head. (via Why I’m Not Re-Enlisting)

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
You saw this coming.

Humor

7 dumb things troops do the first week home after a deployment

It’s the moment troops have been waiting for. They’ve counted down the days until this moment since they first arrived in-country. The second those wheels touch the ground, families rush towards their loved ones and fill them with all the love they’d missed while deployed. After that sweet moment, the week goes downhill fast.


NCOs with several deployments under their belt will offer warnings to troops regarding their first reintegration. They’ll impart every grain of wisdom they can, hoping their troops don’t make the same mistakes as so many have before them. But, chances are, NCOs will sit back and watch their troops go through a second round of boot mistakes — like these:

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

Who says we can’t get a year’s worth of sleep in seven days?

(Via Navy Memes)

Wanting to sleep the entire time

Everyone comes out to welcome you back to the States. They’ll probably have all these grandiose plans centered around how to “best” welcome you home. They’ll fail to take into account the fact that you’re jetlagged having come from half a world away.

Try to get some sleep. Even if you overdo it the first few nights, it’s well earned. Just don’t forget that you have to deal with people while you’re awake.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2F3o7aTskHEUdgCQAXde.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Fi.giphy.com&s=911&h=b48fa006aa4801f1c92155d9488f4cb5f082c6ea11151abf7d7d202bfb36c1c5&size=980x&c=4284019495 crop_info=”%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252F3o7aTskHEUdgCQAXde.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fi.giphy.com%26s%3D911%26h%3Db48fa006aa4801f1c92155d9488f4cb5f082c6ea11151abf7d7d202bfb36c1c5%26size%3D980x%26c%3D4284019495%22%7D” expand=1]Giphy

Freaking out over “losing” their weapon

While on deployment (in-country deployments. Not a “deployment at sea” or Kuwait tour), troops need to have their weapon at all times. There is no Hell like the one that would be brought upon you if you lost it.

That’s why it takes a few weeks for us to process the fact that it was turned into the arms room for good. Just try not to scream, “where the f*ck is my weapon!?” in the middle of a crowded mall cafeteria.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

You’ll never trust the cleanliness of a shower again.

(Photo by Sgt. Randall Clinton)

Showering with sandals

After a while, anything “communal” becomes disgusting. This is because everyone who uses it automatically assumes it’s the next person’s turn to clean it. Nowhere is this more evident than in the already-disgusting communal showers.

Upon returning home, many troops they instinctively wear them, even in their own homes, because, at this point, it’s just too weird not to.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

If it seems like a dumb idea, but it works, it ain’t dumb…

(Meme via Dysfunctional Veterans)

Drinking like they did before the deployment

The funny thing about tolerances is that they’re perishable. Right before a deployment, a troop could down an entire bottle of whiskey to themselves and maybe get a buzz going. Afterwords, one sniff of beer might knock that same troop out.

Take things easy. Download a ride-sharing app or have a taxi on speed dial. Don’t expect your NCO to come play designated driver for you because they’re probably drunk after a single sniff of beer, too.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

“I’m a go**amn war hero. I can binge-watch Netflix my entire leave and no one can stop me!”

Trying to catch up on TV shows and films (all at once)

If the troops didn’t get the chance to binge watch everything at the MWR or get lucky with advanced deployment screenings, they’re going to be laser-focused on trying to find out what happened while they were gone.

This is extra applicable for TV series that are vulnerable to spoilers on the internet.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

…even you can afford the 39% interest rate.

(Via /r/Justbootthings)

Wasting so, so much money

The thing about deployments is that troops will still make money while they’re gone and have nothing to spend it on. All that tax-free combat pay just keeps piling up — even more so if they’re single.

It may seem like you’re rich enough to drop all that cash on the Corvette you wanted as a private, but you’re still making a boot mistake…

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

I’m not stopping you, by any means. Just advising you.

(via Pop Smoke)

Forgetting civilians aren’t fans of our humor

There really isn’t much to do overseas except hang out with the platoon. Everyone has told their jokes a hundred times over. The only way to keep things funny is to take it to the next level. Sooner or later, the jokes enter a realm that makes all of our grandmothers want to whoop our grizzled, war-fighting asses for even thinking it’s funny.

Just remember, there are now kids around as you tell stories about your scorpion death fights.

Articles

6 myths civilians believe about Marines

Since Nov. 10th, 1775, the Marine Corps’ rich history of kicking ass and taking names has charmed Americans and earned their respect all across the United States. Because of that, civilians see Marines in a different perspective than the Navy, Air Force, or even Army.


Since every branch of the military has a particular image that the general population associates them with, we asked several civilians, “What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about the Marines?”

Related: 5 military myths that Hollywood has taught us to believe are true

Here’s what they said:

1. They have to be super patriotic to join

Most of them are, but others just couldn’t see themselves serving in another branch.

Now I’m joining the Corps! (Images via Giphy)

2. All Marines have to go war and fight

Not true. The Marines Corps is made of several different elements other than the infantry, like aircraft maintenance, logistics, and duties that cause your Marine to sit in an office and analyze intel all day — so breathe easy, momma bear.

Dammit, Carl! (Images via Giphy)

3. They’re all excellent shots with a rifle

Most are, but a low number of recruits score just high enough to earn the “rifle marksman” medal, a.k.a. the “pizza box.” All Marines must rifle qual before they can graduate from basic training, but it takes extra training and skill to earn higher levels of marksmanship.

Ask a Marine to explain this joke. (Images via Giphy)

4. They’re buff and strong

Most are pretty jacked, but many are just normal size — they make it up by having tons of heart.

Oh, Master Sergeant! (Images via Giphy)

5. They are mean and scary as hell

Marines can get pretty intense, but that just shows their passion. While a Marine can get super scary (especially when they gain rank or come in contact with people they just don’t like), some get by with just a quiet intensity.

But most of the time they’re fun loving. (Images via Giphy)

6. They’re brainwashed in boot camp

Negative, Ghost Rider.

They are just influenced to love their country and branch of service at an exceptionally high level through various mental and physical activities.

They have to be, to carry out the missions they’re are asked to do.

Sometimes this involves screaming while brushing their teeth — which may happen. (Images via Giphy)Can you think of any others? Comment below.

Articles

The new SECARMY is killing it with sea turtles, pushups, and Nicki Minaj

Secretary of the Army Eric Fanning has a lot of work ahead of him. Keeping the Army strong enough to counter threats from Russia, China, and international terrorism while facing constant budget questions is tough.


Only time will tell if he can rise to the challenge. If nothing else, though, he will definitely leave his mark on the Twittersphere because he is already killing it there.

Fanning was confirmed on May 17, 2016. Since then, he’s Tweeted a Star Wars GIF to show love for baseball:

… and an “Across the Universe” GIF to talk about Fort Jackson drill sergeants turning citizens into Soldiers:

Of course, it’s not all movies with the new SECARMY. He was scheduled to visit soldiers training in Anakonda 16 during the 241st Army Birthday and tweeted a clip of Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” video to let them know he was coming to Torun, Poland to make sure they were working out:

That turned into a Twitter exchange where he challenged a German general to one-handed pushups (via a GIF of “Kung Fu Panda,” because of course he used “Kung Fu Panda”) and 16th Sustainment Brigade soldiers responded with a video of 0-handed pushups:

While he was in Poland, he visited those same troops and worked out with them, then tweeted a photo of it:

Finally, while Fanning was working out with the troops, the Secretary of the Navy tweeted a happy birthday message to America’s oldest military branch. The Fanning responded with an awesome sea turtle, giving a nod to the sea service and “The Little Mermaid” in the process:

Fanning is going to face a lot of leadership challenges during his tenure as secretary. He’s already had to offer leadership and condolences as Fort Hood lost nine soldiers killed when their truck overturned in floodwaters and the Army Reserve lost a captain in the attack at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando.

But while he can’t be physically present every time a soldier is in danger or needs comfort, he can help keep morale up by ensuring troops know that someone smart and capable has their back in Washington D.C. If he can run the beltway half as well as he runs his Twitter feed, then the Army should be okay.

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of June 16

Military memes are like digital morale, and we have collected the most potent 13 from this week for your pleasure.


1. Definitely going to get made fun of on the ship for that one (via Sh-t my LPO says).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Gonna be especially tough when you get sent to different ships.

2. The Army does not know how to party (via ASMDSS).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Soldiers do, but not the Army.

ALSO SEE: The US Navy might pull these old combat ships out of mothballs

3. In the end, only the DD-214 remains.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
At least you get to cover your truck in Eagles, Globes, and Anchors.

4. This is why socialized pay in the military is so weird:

(via Coast Guard Memes)

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Remember, future enlistees, E3 pay is E3 pay is E3 pay.

5. All this for a Camaro (via Team Non-Rec).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
A Camaro you can’t even drive when you’re stuck out at sea.

6. Double points when they want to talk about morale (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

7. “Keep on firing, buddy. I’m behind cover and my guardian angel is 3… 2… 1…” (via Weapons of Meme Destruction)

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
BOOM!

8. Peace. Out. (Via Lost in the Sauce)

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Find someone else to fight your war. I’m headed to college and stuff.

9. Turns out, the camouflage works better than anyone predicted (via Sh-t my LPO says).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
This guy won the dirtbag, shammer, and hide and seek championships for this year. Triple crown!

10. All about the Benjamins, baby (via The Salty Soldier).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
The answer is no. Thanks for the money.

11. Chiefs will avoid it at all costs (via Decelerate Your Life).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
They’ll go so far as swim PT just to avoid it.

12. Just remember to bring something to use in exchange (via Decelerate Your Life).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
The supply bubbas know how to get what’s theirs.

13. He can’t help you now, staff sergeant (via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
College and the civilian job market don’t look so scary right before another NTC rotation.

Humor

This is what the Marines from ‘Heartbreak Ridge’ are doing today

The 1986 movie Heartbreak Ridge took the Marine Corps community and audiences by storm, introducing Gunnery Sgt. Thomas Highway’s rough and tumble personality to the delight of all.


Clint Eastwood took on dual roles as he starred in and directed this iconic film role about a man who is on the tail-end of his military service.

But did you ever think about where the Marines may have ended up today?

Well, we used our (fictional) WATM private investigators to look for the Recon Marines’ silver screen whereabouts, and here’s what they found.

Related: This is what happened to the soldiers from the ‘Hurt Locker’

FYI: Don’t take this literally.

Major Powers

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
(Source: WB)

After this Marine officer was humiliated in front of his superiors by a seasoned gunny, Powers decided to get out of the Corps and become a criminal — then just went totally grey.

He teamed up with a computer hacker and highjacked a train to use as a mobile headquarters to take control of a destructive U.S. satellite. Unfortunately for him, Powers ran into a former chef and Navy SEAL named Casy Ryback who was on vacation with his niece. How about those odds.

They duked it out in a narrow kitchen, and Ryback eventually broke his neck, killing him instantly.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

Tough break. Get it? Tough break.

Stitch

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
(Source: WB)

This dive bar musician-turned-Marine was so motivated that he was recruited into an android program that has nothing to do with smartphones. The government turned him into a freakin’ android soldier and released him on a “Solo” mission to Latin America to destroy some local rebels.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

Nowadays, Stitch pops up here and there but mainly stays behind the scenes.

Profile

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
(Source: WB)

Remember the guy in the squad who most reassembled a twig? That’s him. He didn’t do much after faking his own death to get out of the Marines.

Legend has it that he developed a nasty skin infection and began to murder teenagers near a theater during a horror movie marathon — but that can’t be right.

Rumors are rarely true. Right?.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

Also Read: Here’s what the Marines of ‘Full Metal Jacket’ are doing today

Gunny Highway

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
(Source: WB)

After serving three decades in the Corps, chronic laryngitis forced gunny to retire — but not for long. He stumbled upon a job in the secret service and spoiled a plot to kill the president.

What a guy!

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

Gunny continued life in law enforcement for a few more years before actually retiring to a small house with his beloved Gran Torino.

Too bad he had a problem with a local Asian gang. Gunny was shot several times after pulling out his “hand pistol” from inside of his jacket.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

He recovered “like it ain’t shit” because a couple of bullets isn’t going to stop Gunny Highway. No f*cking way! Now you can see him hanging around the baseball field spotting players who have trouble with curveballs.

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of March 3

Military memes are some of the best things on the internet. Here are some of the best military memes available.


1. Every military career should have a deadpan narrator (via Pop smoke).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Also, things are almost never good. They are sometimes rewarding, but very rarely good.

2. None given, none expected (via Sh-t my LPO says).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Now we want to know what that code means.

3. Everyone should bring a friend with three years remaining when they go to meet the career counselor (via The Salty Soldier).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

ALSO SEE: Watch China launch planes from its only aircraft carrier

4. Ummm, families, you’ve been sent a template. You’re supposed to put your soldier’s rank, their last name, and their first name (via The Salty Soldier).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

5. Getting punished for Course 15 isn’t a big deal for people already at their personal peak rank (via @texashumor).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
So keep your Course 15. And 14. And any others you come up with.

6. For reals? Did you take a particularly hard hit on your head this week?

(via Team Non-Rec)

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Just wait till he reverses the direction on his rifle as well.

7. Think about how apathetic the original terminal lances were when the Marine Corps was much smaller (via Team Non-Rec).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
That apathy must’ve been more concentrated than the salt in their cammies.

8. Gonna be honest, we would give everything to a properly tuxedoed penguin (via Sh-t my LPO says).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Little bow tie and everything.

9. That bar owner is gonna have to work hard to get open in time for lunch chow (via Military Memes).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

10. “Wait, we’re done? I can leave? Already?”

(via Air Force Nation)

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

11. Yeah, it’s pretty magical (via Air Force Nation).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
That’s why everyone should buy their own jet.

12. The chipping paint and rust is just seasoning (via Coast Guard Memes).

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops
Dropped meat: It’s what’s for dinner.

13. “What? I closed the door and stuff.”

(via Shit my LPO says)

9 struggles infantrymen know all too well about mail drops

Do Not Sell My Personal Information