6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry - We Are The Mighty
Humor

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

Serving in the infantry means long work days and carrying a lot of crap on our backs. So, how do we manage to continue?


Easy, we try and make the best out of every shitty situation that that presents itself — using humor.

If you can’t learn to crack a joke or laugh at yourself, your time with the grunts is going to be difficult.

Related: 7 things you should know before joining the infantry

So check out these six reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

1. You have to find a way to laugh off the rough times.

Being deployed to a combat zone means you’re more than likely going to live through and see some crazy shit. After surviving a close call, it’s natural for troops to crack a dark joke or two in order to mentally settle themselves after a serious situation. Laughter is the best medicine.

It may not look healthy at first, but it works. 

2. Dark humor is therapeutic.

Combat zones can be intense and traumatic. Humor makes everything better!

Sometimes just being immature takes some of the pressure off. When you’re stationed out in the middle of nowhere, you don’t have much except the comedy that you come up with in your head. Fart and d*ck jokes are a great go-to comedy tools.

I just recorded the battalion commander peeing. 

3. We prank each other to help pass the time.

Grunts usually have a crap ton of downtime if they aren’t patrolling or manning a post. This allows us to come up with plenty of ways to prank another troop with what we have on hand — which isn’t much.

It takes awhile to come up with the pranks, but some troops are better than others.

Some troops just have it.

4. We play “grab ass” all the time.

After living, training, and being deployed for months on end, troops develop a bond that earns us the right to “ball tap” or play “grab ass” without much legal consequence. But if you play “grab ass” with another troop, you better sleep with one eye open as playful revenge is coming.

Someone is going to get themselves some payback later. 

This game is typically controlled under false pretenses as getting your mark into proper position can be challenging.

5. It boosts everyone’s morale.

When you’re deployed, the days tend to blend. Fridays feel like Mondays because no one is keeping track — we have the same routine every single day. Like we said before, laughter is the best medicine so if you can’t learn to laugh — it sucks to be you.

 

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Humor especially shows up in the battlefield

Also Read: 9 things you should know before becoming a Marine infantry officer

6. We constantly give each other shit because it’s our way of bonding.

Grunts don’t typically volunteer to talk about their hopes and dreams that often. Instead, we tell stories of being back home and the people we slept with (not sparing any details), as well as, how much beer we’re going to drink when we get home.

Joking and shit talking builds us pretty tight bonds. So if you can’t do that, once again, that sucks for you.

Articles

7 hilarious but accurate descriptions of military hardware

When it comes time to write up the technical pamphlets for the next generation of military gear, the manufacturers … probably won’t call us.


Here are seven perfectly accurate descriptions of military hardware that no self-respecting manufacturer would ever publish:

1. The Apache is the world’s most advanced digital camera

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
It’s a lot of money for relatively poor image quality, but the zoom is fantastic.

The AH-64 just has so many features that Canon and Nikon would never dream of putting on a camera: multiple rotor blades, a hydraulics systems, missiles, rockets, and a cannon. It’s almost hard to spot the camera sensors in the ball at the front.

2. The M1A2 Abrams tank provides very effective body armor for troops

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Does your armor deploy its own smoke grenades? And depleted uranium shells?

Because the armor is on motorized tracks, you can barely even feel the 60 tons of protection. It even has seats, a feature most body armor lacks.

3. The A-10 is a great way to get a look at the battlefield

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

It gets you high enough to see over the terrain while keeping you low enough to see all your enemies. If only there was something we could do about them from up here?

4. Navy aircraft carriers are cruise ships with (slightly) less sex and much more (hidden) booze

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

You can move a LOT of people with one of these ships. Over 6,000 with the old Nimitz-class. The newer Ford ships hold less people, normally about 4,000, but have sweet magnets that could hold literally anything to a fridge. In a pinch, there’s even a way to move people from shore directly to the ship without it docking. But be warned that the cruise directors are pretty uptight and the upper decks are noisy.

5. TOW missiles are a much faster delivery method than carrier pigeons

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
But, you know, they’re still faster than pigeons.

While carrier pigeons top out at around 90 mph in a sprint, TOW missiles fly at an astounding 715 mph. There’s almost nothing that can get your message across a battlefield faster, and the control cables let the recipient know just where the message came from.

Just a quick note, when sending messages to friends you should be sure to remove the original payload.

6. Rifles can punch holes through hella paper at once

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(via Military Memes)

Don’t use boring three-hole punches that can only handle a few sheets when these rifles can create either 5.56mm or 7.62mm openings in dozens of sheets of paper at once.

7. CS gas is a quick and effective decongestant

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

Neti pots are weird and pouring liquids through your sinus cavities can lead to brain parasites. 2-chlorobenzalmalononitrile has neither drawback and is extremely effective at helping you breathe free clearing your sinuses.

Articles

This is why the future of motocross is female

Pop quiz, hot shot:

What do gun enthusiasm, maritime rescues, and high-velocity dirt biking have in common?

? ? ? ? ? ? ?

Time’s up.


Those divergent interests all come together in Navy Vet and motocross racer, Jacqueline Carrizosa.

The former Navy gunner’s mate and rescue swimmer is, in post-military life, a rider on the rise in the Western U.S. amateur motocross circuit. And the time it took her to try to teach Oscar Mike host Ryan Curtis to stick one basic jump is, believe us, no reflection on her abilities.

Check out a side-by-side comparison, Ryan v. Jacqueline, leaping the same stretch of track.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Ryan (top), floating like a tank. Jacqueline (bottom), flying Navy Air. (Go90 Oscar Mike screenshot)

Yeah. She’s awesome.

As a teenager, Carrizosa had trouble staying on the straight and narrow after her family moved from California to Las Vegas, but she thrived in the Navy, excelling at physically demanding and traditionally male-dominated disciplines.

When things got rocky again after she left active duty, the same approach helped her. She found structure and purpose in highly skilled action sports, specifically motocross. Her advice?

“Establish something that makes you money, you know what I mean? But also keep your soul alive. You gotta follow your heart. I would say 85% heart, 15% brain.”

Jacqueline Carrizosa. WISE.

But it all proved a little too much for Curtis. The motocross badassery, the beauty, the sheer volume of withering sass. A day at the track with Carrizosa hit him right in the feels (understandable).

And so, completely biffing the ratio, he went 100% heart, 0% brains.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

You don’t have to imagine how that went over. All you gotta do is watch as Curtis gets his motocross mojo crossed, in the video embedded at the top.

Watch more Oscar Mike:

This Green Beret will make you a mental commando

The Marine Rapper will make you shake your Citizen Rump

This Iraq vet kayaker will make you rethink PTSD

This is what happens when a Navy SEAL becomes an actor

This is what happens when a SEAL helps you with your lady problems

Articles

6 tips we learned from ‘Ferris Bueller’ on how to ‘skate’ in the military

Ferris Bueller is the ultimate skater.


Skating is an art form which most people will never fully learn — until now. In 1986, Paramount pictures released “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” which taught countless teens how to play sick and get out of school.

Written and directed by the legendary John Hughes, the film focuses on a teenager who embarks on an incredible journey throughout Chicago while being unknowingly stalked by his high school principal.

While taking the day off, Bueller and his two friends learn more about themselves in a day than they would ever expect.

Related: 8 tips for ‘skating’ in the military

So check out our list of how Bueller taught us the art of the skate.

1. Be convincing

First, come up with an epic excuse why you’re unable to partake in a military activity (like going to work), and make sure you sell that sh*t like Bueller sold being sick to his parents.

Getting a “Sick in Quarters” slip is the goal if you’re in the military.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
I hope I look sick enough. (Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

2. Use your assets properly

Unfortunately, Bueller doesn’t have a car to drive himself around. So once he officially earns his day off via his parents, it’s time to get on the phone and find someone to pick you up.

Skating should be a team effort, but make sure you repay the favor and help someone else skate on another day.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Come over to the barracks and pick me up. (Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

3. Know the loopholes

Here, Bueller hacks the school’s computer absence program and changes how many days he has been absent. You probably won’t have this ability unless you have a special security clearance, but the moral of this story is to understand your limits.

For instance, if your boss isn’t going to be around — you’re not going to be around. Get it? Good.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Knowing the loopholes will get you far in life. (Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

4. Have an epic backstory

During roll call, Bueller’s name is called out several times before this hot girl (Kristy Swanson) gives the teacher a bullsh*t reason why he isn’t in school. It works well during military roll call when the service member calling out names just wants to get on with the day and not hear any excuses — another loophole.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
How could you not trust this face? (Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

5. Play the role

In the event you get an unknown phone call or run into someone outside your skating circle, divert into the sick mode ASAP.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Remember act sick. (Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

Also Read: 11 hiding spots for an E-4 to sham

6. Make it a team effort

Ferris uses his best buddy Cameron to impersonate his girlfriend’s dad to get her out of school. Now, you probably won’t have to do all that, but it’s awesome to have military friends who are willing to skate alongside you that you trust.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Our favorite hypochondriac, Cameron Frye. (Source: Paramount/Screenshot)

Humor

7 worst times to have a negligent discharge

Service members do their jobs in some pretty stressful environments. From patrolling in a deadly combat zone to saying your final good-byes at a military funeral — it can be intense.


At most military functions, there will most likely be someone present who is carrying a loaded weapon, whether it’s blanks or live ammunition.

With stress levels reaching a high peak, the last thing people want to hear is the negligent discharge  — or ND — of a firearm.

Related: 17 images that perfectly show the misery of returning your gear

Check out our list of the worst times to have a negligent discharge:

7. At a funeral detail

Many military funerals have a 21-gun salute waiting fire at a specific time during the ceremony. Interrupting the service by having one of the riflemen accidentally discharge their weapon before they’re supposed to would be less than ideal, to say the least.

Everyone tends to jump a little even when the rifles are fired at the correct time.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

6. During a foreign military weapons inspection

We advise and work alongside many foreign countries’ militaries throughout the world. When you’re trying to build and/or maintain relationships, there’s nothing more cancerous than having an ND occur to set everyone on edge.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
BANG. *Laughs in German* (Source: DoD)

5. Right before stepping out on a stressful foot patrol

The primary mission of allied foot patrol is to make contact with the opposition. When a trooper accidentally taps the trigger of a weapon that’s no longer on “safe,” some very crappy things can follow.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
BANG. *Angry Looks*  (Source: Army.mil)

4. While handling business in a porta-sh*tter

Many troops are required to carry loaded sidearms on their hip. Having a negligent discharge while you’re taking care of business can lead to a messy result.

Oh, and you can shoot yourself.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
BANG. Just Bang. Any other sounds effects would be disgust– *gag*

3. Inside an up-armored vehicle

Armored vehicles are designed to keep the bad guys’ bullets from entering the cabin. That’s pretty obvious, right?

Having an ND go off inside the vehicle is really bad as the bullet will ricochet until it loses speed. Hopefully, it doesn’t land inside of one your buddies.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
BANG PING PING PING PING PING PING PING PING

2. In the “CoC”

The “Center of Communication” is the artery for directing the troops on the ground. If an ND were to occur inside, that live round could kill a troop or damage some important computerized gear.

On second thought, just clear all your weapon systems before entering.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
BANG. *Crickets*

Also Read: 33 images that perfectly portray your first 96-hour liberty

1. In a crowded Afghan Bazaar

Afganistan is considered one of the most dangerous battlegrounds in the world. The already intense energy in the area can quickly become deadly in a blink of an eye. A negligent discharge could launch an entire battle — or worse.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
BANG… rattattatbangbangbangbangbanghissssssssBOOOOOOOOOOM

Bonus: During Bowe Bergdahl’s trial

Do we really need to explain why this is a super bad time for an ND?

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
No bang. Just don’t.

Articles

11 hiding spots for an E-4 to sham

Yeah. Sure. Not every E-4 has an engine room to hide out in, but there are plenty of other places to skate.


Now, there’s a fine line between when you just need a moment to yourself and when you’re screwing over your comrades — don’t be the guy who crosses this line.

If you need to hide, do it in a place where you’re only just a call away. That way you can keep shamming and your buddies can still cover for you.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
You can’t win wars without ’em. (Image courtesy of Under the Radar)

This list is purely for entertainment purposes. If you get caught and blame it on an article you read — that’s on you.

1. In plain sight

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via The Salty Soldier)

If you look like you’re squared away, people will assume you are…and will be none the wiser if you conveniently aren’t around when there’s a call for parade practice volunteers.

2. Sick Call

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

Some say it’s “malingering.” Others say it’s “documenting it for the VA down the road.”

3.  Dental

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting)

As long as you actually show up, your leader shouldn’t see an issue with you getting your teeth taken care of.

4. Smoke Pit

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting)

How many times have we all heard the phrase “if you smoke, take five to ten. If you don’t, I need you to…”

There’s a lot of new faces around the smoke pit whenever they hear that.

5. Alterations

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

Hey. You never know when the next Dress Uniform inspection is. Why not take the time to get it ready?

6. Post/Base Exchange (PX/BX)

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

You’d be amazed at how lenient everyone becomes when you say the phrase “Anyone want anything from the shopette?”

#7. Inside a vehicle

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via The Salty Soldier)

Motor Pool Mondays. Someone has to check to see if the air conditioner is working or not.

8. Latrine

via GIPHYIf you got to go, you got to go. Just turn the sound off your phone before you play games.

 9. Charge of Quarters (CQ)

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

Always try to get duty on a Thursday or the day before a four day starts. Who doesn’t want an extended weekend?

10. Barracks

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

Be sure to use buzz words like “spotless” and “maintained” before sneaking off to play that new game you picked up earlier at the PX/BX.

11. Behind your rank

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

It’s called a “Sham Shield” for a reason. Push that duty onto someone else while you wait for close of business formation.

*Bonus* At Fort Couch

If none of these places work for you and you just have to sham, PCS to Fort Couch. No one will get on you to do anything. You really will be on your “own f-cking program.”

via GIPHY
Humor

The 13 funniest memes for the week of Nov. 3

What happened this week in the military? No. Really. What happened??


Bergdahl will walk free. The actual Green Berets are trying stop green berets from being issued to other soldiers. A judge halted the President’s ban on transgender soldiers. These are incredibly polarizing issues for the U.S. military and its veterans.

You know what isn’t polarizing? Memes.

And here are the dankest memes from the veteran world this week.

1. Betsy Ross is playing with fire.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
#triggered

2. Trim those sideburns, soldier. (via People of the PX)

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
AAFES: When you need a haircut, a pizza, and a TV in a 20 minutes.

3. But he’s paying 26% interest on that Nissan. (via Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said)

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
I suddenly can’t live without something I didn’t know existed.

Now Read: The 7 best military stories from the days of Unsolved Mysteries 

4. Charlie Sheen has a Google Alert for this.  (via Decelerate Your Life)

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

5. Gear adrift is a gift.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Filthy little Hobbitses are such geardos.

6. Every one thinks they’re a foreign policy expert.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

Check out: This is the only living African-American from WWII to earn the Medal of Honor

7. Veterans know leadership. (via U.S. Army WTF Moments)

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Must promote.

8. In the Army, Forrest Gump is considered a genius.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
My DD-214 and I are like peas and carrots.

9. “Welcome to Fort Bragg”

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
But they threw in the undercoating for free.

10. A good king leads his troops from the front.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
As real as Air Force leadership gets.

11. Crew chiefs get their name on the plane for a reason.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Oh, I understood that reference!

12. Now we both have a machine gun. Ho Ho Ho. (via the Salty Soldier)

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

Now Read: 8 useless pieces of gear the military still issues out

13. Getting that first job after separating is tough.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Also, records management.

Articles

Watch these chefs try to turn Army food into gourmet cuisine

The standard U.S. Armed Forces field ration is, above all other considerations, designed to make you emotional.


Sure, an MRE needs to be nutritious. Obviously, it also needs to be lightweight, packable, durable, quick, and easy to prepare. It’s got to have a long shelf life because who knows when it’ll be called up for active duty. And at the end of the day — and not just because it’s the end of the day — the damn thing ought to taste good.

After years of research and development, laboratory refinement, and testing in the field, the military has the MRE dialed to within an inch of its life. Private, does your dinner have “Vegetable Rotini” stamped on its olive drab shrink wrap? Yes? Then, by God, you can trust that when you just add water, the thing you find rehydrated on the end of your spork will resemble a rotini (Vegetable Class) to the highest degree achievable by military science.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Our host finds his feelings at the bottom of the feed bag. (Meals Ready To Eat screenshot)

Meals Ready To Eat host August Dannehl trusted in the prowess of the military’s culinary industrial complex. After all, he named his show after its signature offering.

When he visited the labs and testing facilities of the United States Army Soldier Systems Center in Natick, MA, he was excited to spend some quality time covering familiar territory. What he didn’t count on was the depth of the emotional response that many of his interview subjects had to meals they’d eaten as soldiers in the field. And it turns out, that response is no accident.

We want it to be a quality meal that we provide to them. We don’t know if that’s going to be their last meal.

 –Stephen Moody, Director, Combat Feeding Directive

Watch host August Dannehl and fellow veteran Mike Williams, currently the Executive Chef of West Hollywood restaurant Norah, transform the military’s utilitarian ration MRE into a mouthwatering “Jambalaya Risotto with Duo of Duck.” 

Meals Ready to Eat can be seen on KCET in Southern California, on Link TV Nationwide (DirecTV 375 and DISH Network 9410), and online at KCET.org.

Humor

5 ways troops always screw up a simple formation

Typically, every single day of the work week, service members come together and stand quietly in organized columns, called a ‘formation.’


At these formations, service members are accounted for and various information is passed along.

Sounds easy and quick enough, right? You’d be wrong.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

It’s no secret that nobody wants to attend these.

Most service members do not like standing at the position of attention for extended periods, waiting for the higher-ups to get their sh*t together. So, things tend to go south quickly for various reasons.

Related: 6 ways to avoid being ‘that guy’ in your unit

1. Someone shows up wearing the wrong uniform or cover

Some people don’t pay attention well enough, show up in the wrong uniform, and, unsurprisingly, stick out like a sore thumb. Some do it on purpose, though, when they are about to get out of the military.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
We guess he didn’t get that memo.

2. That time everyone laughed because someone farted

As immature as it sounds, it’s incredibly difficult not to smirk or even laugh when somebody rips a loud one. Farts plus formation always equals funny. Sometimes, you just need something hilarious to get through a boring formation.

3. When someone locks their knees and passes out

This happens more often than you think, especially at various military ceremonies. Don’t forget to bend your knees and wiggle your toes to keep the blood flowing.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
A guard of honor passes out as Queen Elizabeth II rides past during the color parade, 1970.

4. We sometimes forget the difference between left and right.

We start marching with our left foot and we align with the troop to our left-hand side. Sometimes, however, troops mindlessly mix up which foot or hand is actually their left one.

Also Read: This is why there’s no excuse for Hollywood to screw up military uniforms

5. Those times when a troop does a celebratory grunt and no one joins in.

It’s sort of like when someone in a crowd tries to start a group clap, but no one else joins in. Yeah… it’s embarrassing.

 

(theoneandonlytony | YouTube)
Articles

6 things MPs do (besides give you tickets)

Military police get a bad rap. Sure, they spend a lot of time trying to catch speeders going 2 mph over the limit in the middle of the night and give the driver a ticket that stalls his career for no good reason, but they also do useful stuff like these six things:


1. Engage in maneuver warfare

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
A Marine Raider supervises military police training on urban patrolling on Nov. 2, 2016, in Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. (Photo: U.S. Marine Corps Capt. Nicholas Mannweiler)

Believe it or not, the troops voted most likely to work as mall security after they get their DD-214 are trained to take and hold territory from the enemy in war. While the MPs aren’t as specialized in these tasks as the infantry, they are capable.

The U.S. Army military police school’s manevuer training focuses on breaching operations, route recon and surveillance, controlling river crossings, and other essential elements of controlling the battlespace.

2. Guard mission-critical infrastructure

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
U.S. Marine military police conduct immediate action drills alongside Philippine Marines at Colonel Ernesto Ravina Air Base, Philippines, Oct. 7, 2016. (Photo and cutline: U.S. Marine Corps Sgt. Tiffany Edwards)

So, yeah, there’s a reason that MPs do make good mall cops if they ever feel the need to take that route. They do train to protect stationary places from local hooligans. It’s just those stationary places are air bases and ammo dumps and those local hooligans are hardened insurgent fighters.

The MPs call it “critical site security.” And they train to do it in chemical gear, under fire, and facing off against enemy infantry. So you better believe they can keep the stoner kids out of Spencer Gifts.

3. Evacuate civilians from conflict areas and natural disasters

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
A military policeman pulls security as other soldiers load a CH-47 during non-combatant evacuation training. (Photo: U.S. Army Spc. Thomas Scaggs)

When the rains come, whether they’re rains of artillery or torrential downpours of water, the MPs are just as ready to rush in and get civilians out of harm’s way as they seem in all those recruiting commercials.

“Dislocated Civilians,” “Populace and Resource Control,” and “Straggler, Dislocated Civilian Control” are all military police functions that pretty much mean that MPs will corral you to safety and help figure out the food situation during the next zombie apocalypse.

4. Investigate crimes

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Military police analyze a foot impression during training at Camp Bondsteel, Kosovo, on July 13, 2016. (Photo: U.S. Army photo Staff Sgt. Thomas Duval)

Unless you’re a murderer. Because the MPs will definitely not have your back if you’re a murderer. Or a drug user. Or dealer. Or really, any crime. That’s because some military police become MPIs, military police investigators, and will be investigating those crimes.

While the MPIs don’t get the headlines like the special agents of the Criminal Investigations Division or the Naval Criminal Investigations Service, they do assist in the investigations of major crimes by collecting witness testimony and physical evidence. And, like all MPs, they are federal law enforcement officers.

5. Contain riots and civil unrest

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Army soldiers complete fire phobia training. (Photo: US Army Sgt. Cody Barber)

Military police don’t just train on hunting enemy soldiers and tracking down hardened criminals. They also learn how to deal with angry protestors. The military emphasizes de-escalation when possible, but MPs learn how to hold the line against Molotov cocktails and armed protesters if necessary to contain riots and civil unrest. This includes everything from fire phobia training to the proper use of tear gas.

6. Teach policing fundamentals to partnered military and law enforcement agencies

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
American Marines and Republic of Vanuatu Police Force officers train together on frisk and search procedures on Oct. 26, 2016, at Port Vila, Vanuatu. (Photo: U.S. Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Quavaungh Pointer

Of course, all this training turns new recruits into law enforcement experts, or at least people with enough expertise to train brand new police officers. Military police units are often sent around the world to train the police departments of American allies.

Articles

13 funniest military memes for the week of Sept. 8th

F*ck off, North Korea. We have Harvey and Irma to worry about. Unlike you guys, these hurricanes actually can reach our shores.


#13: Guaranteed to pass your next POV inspection

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via PNN- Private News Network)

#12: The line between brave and stupid is subjective.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via PNN- Private News Network)

#11: Hello darkness, my old friend. I’ve come to talk with you again.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via Army As F*ck)

#10: “But my substandard living allowance!”

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

#9: To all of my civilian friends who say they want to go backpacking in the woods with me. F*ck you.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via Pop Smoke)

#8: Whenever Commo guys say “It’s in the FM.” FM stands for F*cking Magic.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via Pop Smoke)

#7: Protip- Buy a used woobie at a surplus store, turn that one in, and keep the one you’ve grown attached to.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via Pop Smoke)

#6: Whoever decides “Let’s set the dinner hours to close 30 minutes after close of business and still take out their meal deduction!” is one of the biggest Blue Falcons in the entire military.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via Sh*t My LPO Says)

#5: Hollywood Marines be like “I only eat free-range, gluten-free, locally sourced crayons.”

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via Sh*t My LPO Says)

#4: I believe in you. All those years of shamming will be experience you’ll need in college.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting)

#3: If it looks stupid but works, it ain’t stupid. If laying fire directly into a hurricane doesn’t work…

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via Why I’m Not Re-enlisting)

#2: Let’s see – 12 pack and about two handles a week, a stupid amount on payday weekends, and almost my entire paycheck on four-days puts me roughly at liver failure by the age of 40.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via Weapons of Meme Destruction)

#1: Frodo and Sam would make great E-4s. An entire fellowship forms to help them and they’re like “Nah, dude. We’re going to do our own thing.”

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
(Meme via Weapons of Meme Destruction)

Humor

7 ways to surprise your spouses when they return from deployment

Spending the better part of a year on a deployment 3,000 miles away from home is hard for anyone and can feel like an eternity.


On the ride home, many vets think about the first thing they’re going to do when they return, like biting into a perfectly-grilled cheeseburger, getting a good night’s sleep in their own bed or taking a long hot shower.

Aside from those iconic ones, here are a few things you could do to welcome back your spouse and make his or her homecoming a glorious affair.

1. Bring unexpected family members

Consider bringing man’s best friend along — the one who walks on four legs and thinks his returning buddy is king. There’s nothing better than the welcoming face of a faithful pup after a long time apart. Returning home is an emotional time for everybody, so why not bring everyone?

2. Bring tobacco

Puffing a fresh cigarette or packing your lip with a fresh pinch of dip can make a world of difference for someone who spent that last 13 hours on a plane and is itching for a hit of nicotine.

Sure, this isn’t the healthiest gift. But it could make your loved one do a celebration dance when they’re packing a freshie.

3. Bring a cold beer (or beers)

General Order #1A prohibits service members from drinking alcohol while deployed — and it’s rarely lifted.

It’s a known fact when you want something bad and can’t have it, you want it even more. Heineken, Corona, or PBR are just some of the popular choices sold at the local base PX.

Letting your spouse toast a few with his or her buddies for a job well done is a great and inexpensive way to close out a stressful deployment.

4. Have an escape plan checklist

Unfortunately, it’s not always a situation where your loved one can just walk off the plane and go straight home — there’s always a list of “to-dos” before he can pull chocks. So make sure your spouse has a get-home-quick plan so those logistics hurdles don’t get in the way of a quick trip to the casa.

  • Find the family, hug it out and take a quick photo.
  • Mark your seabag and other baggage so the kids can spot and retrieve it while you drop off your weapon at the armory.
  • Meet at the car and load up.
  • Find the nearest exit gate with the least outgoing traffic.
  • AND GO!!!

5. Have a clean house

Being cramped into a small bunk on a ship or sleeping on a narrow cot in a dusty tent takes its toll. Entering a cleaned up and tidy house — even a modest one — can feel like you just walked into a newly designed multi-million dollar mansion.

6. Make a home-cooked meal

Some military installations have better chow halls than others. And a lot of deployed personnel had to make due with eating MREs or C-rations three times a day, which are tough to stomach over a long deployment.

So there’s nothing like sitting down at the table with your family over a perfectly cooked steak with all the fixings.

7. Bring a change of clothes

After months of doing laundry in a bucket, having some fresh clean clothes that don’t have a last name stitched above the pocket is a step in the right direction when trying to return to normal.

Can you think of any others? Comment below

Humor

The 13 funniest memes for the week of Nov. 17

Justice League comes out this weekend but you don’t care because you’ve been waiting for your Real-Life Justice League enlistment to end for the last four years.


These memes are for those sick of saving the world.

1. With all the sex scandals happening, its good that we can still count on something. (via Decelerate Your Life)

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Oh baby yes.

2. Try putting a dominoes pizza hotkey on an AR-15 though.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

Somewhat related: 6 reasons why Marines hate on the Air Force 

3. Tonight: The story of literally every day in the military. (via Team Non-Rec)

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Update: You’re not going home anytime soon.

4. Guess how I know it’s not Fort Bragg. (via US Army WTF Moments)

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
A paratrooper would have done a parachute landing fall out the window.

5. There isn’t enough Motrin in the world to fix that foundation.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Also, it smells weird and no one wants to go there.

6. Because what we call a “deployment” is relative.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Bums.

Now: This is why Fallujah is one of the Marine Corps’ most legendary battles

7. “Follow me on my adventure through this office.”

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Now back to the quiet safe room.

8. Call me when woobies become fashionable wear.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Urban Outfitters will never sell this color.

9. Welcome to BX barber shop.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Or the MPF. Definitely the MPF.

The guy who wrote this is cool: That time an entire battle stopped to watch two soldiers in a fistfight

10. Anything with snowflake, cuck, safe place, trigger warning.  (via Decelerate Your Life)

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

11. Congress is about to pass a new defense bill.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry
Those babies are illegal under the Geneva Convention.

12. This one’s for the good cops out there.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

13. Why the Coast Guard’s job is harder than you think.

6 reasons why you need a sense of humor in the infantry

This post is so Fresh it moved to Bel-Air: Watch Gordon Ramsey live a day in the life of a Royal Marine

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